The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, January 14, 1902, Page 6

THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, TUESDAY, JANUARY 14, 1902 .Jj.—\l\'UARY 14, 1992 . JOHN D. SPRECKELS, Proprietor. Biéress All Communications 16 W. 8. LEAKE, Manazer. £ MANAGER'S OFFICE ..Telephone Press 204 Market “; Third, Press 201. .217 to 221 Stevensom St. 202. LICATION OFFICE EDITORIAL ROOMS Telep Delfvered by Oarriers, 15 Cents Per Week. Single Coples. 5 Cents. Terms by Mall, Including Postage: X DAILY CALL (ineluding Sunday), one year. .36.00 DAILY CALL (ncluding Su: DAILY CALL ntluding Sunday), DAILY CALL-By Stagle Month. FUNDAY CALL, One Year. WEBKLY CALL, One Year. A1l postmasters are authorized to receive sabscriptions. Sample coptes Will be forwarded when requested. Mafl subscribers in orferitg change of sddress should be particular to give both NEW AND OLD ADDRESS in order o tnsure = prompt and correct compliance with their request. OAKLAND OFFICE.. €. GEORGE KROGNESS. ¥anager Foreign Advertising, Marguetts Building, Chicags. (Long Distance Telephone “Central 2618.") NEW YORK CORRESPONDENT: . C. CARLTON. . «.Herald Square NEW YORK REPRESENTATIVE: STEPHEN B. SMITH........30 Tribune Bullding NEW YORK NEWS STANDS: : Waldorf-Astorie Hotel; A. Brentano, 31 Union Square; Murray Eill Hotel «ees.1118 Broadway CHICAGO NEWS STANDS: Sherman House: P. O. News Ce.: Grest Northern Hotel: Fremont House: Auditorfum Hotel. WASHINGTON (D. C.) OFFICE, ...1408 G St, N. W. MORTON E. , Correspondent. BRANCH OFFICES—527 Montgomery. corner of Clay, open untll 3:30 o'clock. %0 Hayes, open until $:30 o'clock. €13 McAllister, open untfl 9:30 c'clock. €15 Lerkin, open until %0 o'clock. 1841 Mission, open until 10 o'clock. 2261 Market, eorner Sixteenth, open until § o’clock. 109 Valencia, open until § o'clock. 106 Eleventh, open until § c'clock. NW. corner Twenty-second and Kentucky, open until § o'clock. 20 Fillmore, open untl § p. m. e e e AMUSEMENTS. Alcazar—*For the White Roes: Columbia—*Mary Stuart.”” Orpheum—Vaudeville. i Grand Opera-house—'Claire and the Forgemaster. ornia—"'0ld Jed Prouty.” , Zoo and Theater—Vaudeville every afternocon and er’s—Vaudeville. Oakland Racetrack—Races to-day. AUCTION SALES. By J. J. Doyle—Wednesday, January Horses and Buggies, at 327 Sixth street. By Wm. G. Layng—Friday evening, January 17, at 7:45 o'clock, Thoroughbred Horses, at 721 Howard atreet. = OUR PLAIN DUTY. HAIRMAN PAYNE of the Ways and Means Committee is reported to have said the House will probably take up the question of Cuban ity first of all important measures, giving it precedence even over the reduction of war taxes. Further reports assert that the Republican majority in will stand firmly by the-protective system feat the reciprocity scheme. It is evident, how- ever, from the vigor with which the fight is being made by the press of the larger cities in the East, that wers who seck to break down protection are g to give up without a hard struggle That the Democratic free-trade press should sup- port the Cuban scheme is not surprising. Reciprocity that proposed in this case would be a triumph over the protective principle. It would destroy that uniformity of protection now given to American in- would inevitably. lead to demands for fur- er reciprocity. Moreover, it would force the pro- s to undertake to defend the illogical and 15, at 11 o'clock, C tectior unjust doctrine that some industries should be sac- rificed to make a foreign market for others. It is 2, however, to find Republican papers sup- the scheme, and “yet many of them are surprisin g doing 50 When the.agitation for reciprocity with Cuba began supported by economic as well as by sentimen- arguments. It did not take long, however, for stanch protectionists to refute the economic pleadings of the schemers and to expose the fallacy of their as- Of late the plea has been made almost on sentimental grounds, and it is that fact Republican papers to sustain it with some shew consistency. They admit that to re- duce duties on sugar and tobacco from Cuba would injure the domestic industries engaged in the produc- tion of these articles, but they plead that we should submit to the wrong in order to benefit Cuba. They repedt over and over zgain that it is “our plain duty” to make Cuba prosperous by giving her products free admission to our markets. The New York Tribune tries to further gloss over the evil of the scheme by arguing that it is to be only temporary. “A six months’ arrangement,” it says, “is all that is now required—all, perhaps, that is now possible. This country is not asked to commit it- self irrevocably to a permanent policy. It is asked merely to give a living market to the people who are now under its absolute control until such time as they can make their own negotiations for a market.” Such a plea is likely to be effective only with those who do not stop long enough to reflect that if free admission to our markets be once granted to Cuban producers its continuance will be urged on the ground that we have encouraged capital to invest in Cuban enter- prises and are morally bound to maintain the condi- tions under which the investments were made. The New York Sun attacks the opponents of the scheme by saying: “We note that the same argu- ments employed by certain local interests in this country to prevent or at least to postpone the open- ing of our markets to Porto Rico’s products are noy focused upon President Roosevelt’s similar but not identical plea in behalf of Cuba.” The phrase “local interests” was undoubtedly used by the Sun with the intention of belittling the advocate of consistent pro- tection. The phrae, however, recoils on the paper that used it for that purpose. All American indus- tries are lceal interests in the sénse in which the Sun ased the words. If we are hot to protect our “local interests” what are we to protect? - In fact, the only plain duty that Congress has in the matter is that of rotecting our local interests, and, fortumately, it seems certain the Republican majority will faithfully serform it. This is' natime to tinker with the tariff. e — ~ port tal sertions whol which enables of According to Dun’s Review the cost of living in his country has increased 40 per cent since 1807 and ‘he farmer has got most of the increase, so we might 1s well quit calling him a hayseed and kow tow to 2im as a financier. 4 A USELESS COMMISSION. THE present Railroad Commission was provided for in the new constitution. In 1878, when that A instrument was projected, the theory and prac- tice were general that a corperation, such as-a com- mon carrier, was subject to legislative and executive control in respect to its rates and all other matters needful of oversight in the “mterest of the public. That was the first position taken after the Dartmouth College ‘decision was held to be inapplicable to such corporations, and the power that granted their fran- chises was held capable of amending them. Only one of the early Railroad €Commissions seemed to see in its duty a judicial function purely. The Towa commission from its beginning took to it- self judicial powers and was probably the most use- ful body of the kind in the United States. But there has been an evolution of law on the subject. ~What cne commission saw nearly twenty-five years ago has now become the settled law of the land by decisions of the Supreme Court of the United States. In the Minnesota and Texas cases that bench has decided that the fixing of transportation rates is dealing with the rights of property through its use, and that as the Federal constitution declares that no one can be deprived. of property without due process of law, there is but one “process of law,” and that judicial Therefore Legislatures cannot fix transportation rates, nor can they delegate that power to a subordi- nate body to be exercised as a legislative or executive function. The process must be judicial. It will be observed that these decisions practically nullify that part of our State constitution which cre- ates a Railroad Commission and- defines its duties. The constitution requires that the Commissioners fix rates, and that when so fixed they must be accepted as just and right. In fixing rates the commission may or may not inquire into conditions, and may proceed without investigation if it choose. But, whether based on inquiry, as in the case of the oil rate, or at- tempted arbitrarily, like the many horizontal cuts that have been proposed and have figured in our politics, the act of this commission is without vigor or effect. It is not even necessary for a common carrier to take the precaution observed by the Santa Fe line and de- clare in its reports to this commission that it is a foreign corporation. That is not necesfary to raise a Federal question and get shelter in the Federal | courts. The sole issue is a Federal issue, radical in the Federal constitution, and a local stage line in this State carrying passengers any distance within the State has the same right of resort to the Federal courts as an overland road run by a foreign corpora- tion and carrying interstate Commerce. We believe that any citizen of California can by quo warranto terminate the Railroad Commission. When commanded to show its right to hold office and draw pay, that commission must declare its authority as a derivative of a provision in our State constitution that has been nullified by the Supreme Court of the United States. ‘We have not the least doubt that either proceedings ofl a quo warranto, or by injunction against the State Treasurer and Controller, restraining the payment of the Commissioners’ salaries, would demonstrate that their office has no legal existence. It is necessary that this be known. For that rea- soft we put it in its most positive form. The commis- sion has fixed an oilggate, believed by those engaged in that industry to be necessary to the very existence of their business, The matter has been long on trial. | The commission gave to it patient investigation. But no sooner is the order of a new rate entered than the State and Federal courts explode with injunc- tions and restraining crders, which demonstrate that the commission has no more legal vigor than the poncho of an Alcalde of Pueblo of our pre-Gringo days. tion by the commission, and then that -of the long judicial investigation by the courts, and at the end of it, if anything is left of the oil business, it will have survived only to hear that the California Railroad Commission has no power to enforce any decision it may make. We are not disposed to attack the railroads for availing themselves of their legal right. Indeed, that they do so may favorably affect the future, by letting the people see plainly that their Railroad Commission is a non-legal, unconstitutional body, without power to enforce the simplest of its orders. If we had large-sized politics in this State this sit- uation would call out an exhibition of statesmanship. The next Legislature must deal with this subject. The State now relies on a commission that is no longer a good scarecrow.- The railroads know that it is only a pair of old trousers and a shirt on a forked | stick. They pay no attention to it, except to prolong the useless proceedings which it ipstitutes, because they figure in the programme of delay which is the policy of the corporations. The commission has had a judicial death and awaits Jegislative burial. In its place should be some system in the form of a tribunal of first instance, with a defined appeal which cuts out intermediate courts and gets promptly into the final tribunal. The millennium is no doubt on the way, but has not arrived, and until it comes transportation companies are going to need regula- tion as to rates and equality of charge for equal ser- vice. Over these acts issues will continue to arise and should go to trial in a judicial body and not be- fore a nullity. [ L. M. Shaw, the new Secretary of the Treasury, won his way in early life by sawing wood. He cér- tainly has now an opportunity to exercise a trait most admirable in old or young. D by a representative of Boston Democracy and invited to go to that city some time this win- ter and make an address upon the issues before the party. The distinguished sage of Wolferts Roost de- clined, and in doing so is reported . to have said: “We are in a peculiar position at the present time, and my advice to Democrats is to skate slow.” The phrase in which Mr. Hill couched his advice inevitably presents to the mind an image of Democ- racy on skates, with thin ice all round and many air holes in sight. It is time for slow skating and care- ful watching. = Having gone down the toboggan slide ‘with disastrous results so often, this is no time for Democracy to take risks on the icepond. A tum- ble just now might mean a worse thing than befell it during 1ts midsummer madness in 1892, when it went wild in Chicago and nominated Bryan. Another Democrat who is fully as astute as Hill | has taken a similar view of the situation of the party. iMr, Gorman has achieved the feat of recovering his political power in Maryland. He has recaptured the Democracy of the State and through the instrumen- tality of the party has obtained possession of the Leg- islature. He'is once more in the saddle with all of his old-time prestige, and perhaps with an increased wisdom born of experience in defeat. It is noted that SKATING SLOW. AVID BENNETT HILL was recently visited l The railroads get advantage of the long investiga- i though victorious he is not crowing. Rarely has he ever been more silent. He seems indeed to be well nigh apathetic, and it is evident that if he be skating at all he is skating very siow. The only leader in the patty who has a move on is Bryan. That orator and perpetual candidate is now swinging round the East making speeches and deliv- ering lectures. If Boston Democracy wishes him for an orator this winter it can get him without sending a delegate to deliver the invitation. Mr. Bryan; in fact, never skates slow, and it seemingly makes little difference to him whether he stands up or falls*down. So long as he can attract attention to his antics he is satisfied. French newspapers are greatly agitated over an al- leged scheme of the Rockefellers to furnish gas to Paris. These alarmed critics should have judgment enough to know that the Rockefellers are much too shrewd to compete against so palpably a natural product of the French capital THE WOMAN AT PEKING. HINA’S “grand old woman,” the Dowager ‘ Empress, has returned to the capital and re- sumed her government. With her return the struggle growing out of the uprising of the Boxers is closed. It remains to be seen whether it will prove but an episode in Chinese history, or the " starting *point of a new epoch. In determining that issue no other personal influence will count for half so much as that of the old woman who has once more grasped the reins of power and seems to hold them more tightly than ever. ‘ It is reported that on her arrival at the capital the Dowager Empress appeared to be humiliated and looked appealingly to: the foreign Ministers as if pleading to them for commiseration. fears they were quickly dissipated, for on the very next day she held an audience in the most sacred hall of thé palace, an apartment which never before had been entered by a woman. The act was signifi- cant of her courage and of her determination to im- press upon the Chinese mind that she has lost noth- ing in dignity by retiring from the capital before the advance of the foreigner. Whatever may be irer secret designs, the official de- crees issued by the Government of the Dowager promise well to China and to the world. The current number of Consular Reports is devoted largely to Chinese affairs, and among other official documents gives translations of decrees of the Empress relating to government and to education. One of the edicts takes the control of the general affairs of the country out of the hands of the Grand Council and vests it in a department known as “The Board of National Ad- ministration.” To the new board elaborate instruc- tions are given as to means and methods of effecting reforms. The members are told: “To combine Chi- nese and western ideas and harmonize them will be very proper. This is important. Legislation must not be rash, else it cannot be carried on. This indi- cates how we should proceed.” The administrators of the provinces are exhorted to bear in mind that “the old customs of the empire were good, but having been in operation for a long time a great many abuses and obstructions have grown up.” They are instructed “to abandon a slav- ish adherence to precedent, but to be careful to choose of the new only what is good.” Then follows the announcement: “The object of the establishment ot the Board of Administration is to promote the in- dependence of China. China’s weakness is due to her poverty. The strength of foreign nations is due to their wealth. Deliverance from poverty, therefore, is the very beginning and foundation of independence. But the commencement of .reform ought not by any means to wait upon the attainment of wealth.” Two decrees deal with the subject of education. They provide that less time be given to the study of the ‘ancient classics and more to the acquirement of useful knowledge. One decree says: “Human talent lies at the foundation of all affairs, and in the culti- vation of talent the most important thing is the im- provement of educational methods. * * * Tet earnest efforts be made to inform the mind, to secure upright conduct, to improve both literary talénts and character, and to produce men acquainted with the times and diligent in the pursuit of real usefulness.” The other edict, dealing with students who go abroad to study foreign methods, says: “Let them acquire a thorough mastery of some profession and genuinely exert themselves in the pursuit of useful knowledge.” Such are some of the decrees with which the Dow- ager Empress resumes her government. It can hardly be doubted that she sincerely desires to increase the wealth, the strength and the independence of China. The disasters of the past few years seem to have taught her at last that she must learn from the west. It is quite possible, therefore, that this woman, who has risen from the position of a captive slave girl to be Empress of the most populous empire in the world, may yet prove to be in her old age a reformer equal to any in history. and In exchanging greetings swapping compli- ments over the approaching launch of Emperor Wil- liam's yacht President Roosevelt and the Emperor have demonstrated two very interesting facts. Em- peror William can’t speak English any better than President Roosevelt can talk German. It would be in the direction of wisdom for each to confine himself to his mother tongue. It is said that Secretary Shaw began life by ped- dling fruit trees, and now the question arises what became of the men who bought the trees and tried to make a living from them. As the thing stands it seems there is a brighter prospect for one man who sells trees than for twenty who cultivate them. Two universities of high rank for women are to be opened this year, and the fact that one of them is at Tokio and the other at Moscow shows how American ideas of woman’s education are spreading. IO It is said there are over 100 men in Congress whose/ incomes from privaté business are larger than their Congressional salaries, but just the same it is safe to say they did not go to Congress for their health. A I\_Iew York man 84 years old who recently ad- vertised for a wife explained his eagerness to’ get married by saying he has had thirteen wives and afraid to die with such an unlucky number. is The January dividends just distributed in New York, Philadelphia and Boston amounted to $210,- 000,000, and it is needless to say the recipients are not kicking against trusts. g The New York legislators are said to have formed 4 New Year’s resolution to finish their work and close the session within twelve weeks, but there’s no telling what will happen. 3 i — About the only thing a man can complain of in California in these days is that the weather is so very lovely and fair that it overdoes xhe-thing. If she had any | TURN VEREIN TO GIVE FESTIVAL LIKE FAMOUS ONES OF COLOGNEEZ+ - HE! San Francisco Turn Verein is I making elaborate preparations for the annual “fools’ night,” or as it is more properly known among the German people, the Narren-Abend, which is to be held on next Sunday even- ing a2t the Turn Verein Hall, 328 Turk street. The committees In charge are leaving nothing .undone in their efforts to ensure an evening of pure pleasure o for the merry crowd which will attend. The festival {s planned after those which have made the city of Cologne on the Rhine famous the world over. One of the special features of the occa- sion will be the fantastical costumes which will be worn by all those who par- ticipate in the pageant. No one will be allowed on the floor unless he is attired in a Narren-kappen, or, as it is more commonly called, a fool's cap. In order to make the scene as victuresque and as like the celebrated festivals of the father- land as possible, the fool's caps have been imported from Cologne for the occasion. The ceps are of all sorts and\ styles, shapes and colors, and many of them of highly artistic design. The programme will consist of comic speeches, recitatfons, jokes and songs. A herald attired in farcical costume will precede the performers and introduce them to the audience. On the stage will be placed a large barrel, open in the back and cn top, which will be used by the en~ tertainers as a restrum from which to deliver their witty remarks and pour forth their songs. Prominent among those who will take part in the programme and contribute to the merriment of the evening are: Miss Emmie Busse-Trombon!, Miss Lottie Calsing, Professor Joseph Greven, Professor Hans Goetz, Max Dunow, - Robert Lorents, Fritz Hauser, John Hauser, Harry Niemann, Arthur Brandt, Martin Kelly, Robert Scheel and Hans Veroni. The arrangements are in the hands of a committee of eleven, the prescribed num- ber of the “Kliene Rath” (petty council) with John Simmen, the president of the versin, as master of ceremonies. The other members of the committes are: Hans Veroni, William Plagemann, Max Dunow, Hans Goetz, G. A. Trost, F. Barthmann, Oscar Hocks, F. Hansmann, Theodore Planz and Louis Trost (herald). The following ladies, who are members of the ladies’ section of the verein, will make the honors as reception committee: Miss E. Plagemann,” Mrs. E. Finking, Miss Minnie Trost, Miss ~Annie Krueckel, Miss Emma Planz, Miss Clara Trost, Mis: Plagemann, Miss Annle Simmen, Miss Lena Sablatt, Miss Laura Sablatt, / Miss Julfette Schroeder, Miss E. Gehrkens, Miss johanna Abraham, Miss Annie Bergmann, Miss Elsle Diekelmann, Miss Marle Eggerling, Miss Jo- hanna Heim, Miss Gretchen Hulst, Miss Hattle Korn, Miss Alice Kalmuck, Miss Julie Kal- muck, Miss Dorothea Limbaugh, Miss Hedwig Naschka, Mrs. Manning, Miss Clara Raubut, Miss Laura Sies, Miss Rose Schafsky, Miss Rosa Schmidt and Miss Mamie Stettmann. <+ ANSWERS.TO QUERIES. | KOREA—A. T., City. The King of Korea proclaimed himself Emperor on the 15th of October, 1897. NATIONALITY—Subscriber, City.. In England if an Englishwoman marries a foreigner she follows the nationality of her husband. ¢ MIDWINTER FAIR—Subscriber, City. The number of lights in the electric tower in the Midwinter Fair of San Fran- cisco was 2945. A PIONEER—Subscriber, City. ‘“What is'a pioneer in California?” asks this cor- respondent. A pioneer is defined as one who came within the borders of Califor- nia before the close of the year 1843, CAPTAIN WEBB'S SWIM--T. A. C, City. Captain Matthew Webb, the re- nowned swimmer, swam from Dover to Calais in twenty-one hours and forty- five minutes, August 24 and 25, 1875. COLD BATH—Enq., City. Water ap- plied to the humar/skin at a temperature below 75 degreds Fahrenheit is called cold bath. If applied to a person with sufficient constitutional energy to bear it, it is a decided and very powerful tonic. It promotes solidity, compactness and strength of the body. 'THE FOURTEENTH AMENDMENT— Old Subscriber, City. The fourteenth amendment to the constitution of the United States was passed by a vote of 33 to 11 in the Senate and 120 to 32 in the House. It was disapproved by President Johnson, but was ratifled by the neces- sary number of States and became a law July 28, 1868. VOTE FOR GOVERNOR-L. D. P., City: M. D., St. Helena, and others. The vote for Governor of Ohio last November was Kilbourne (Dem.) 368,525, Nash (Rep.) 436,002, scattering 22,949; Massachusetts— Quiney (Dem.) 114362, Crane (Rep.) 135~ 809, scattering 24,349; Jowa—Phillips (Dem.) 143,685, Cummins (Rep.) 226,839, scattering 19,887 A VALUABLE HALF—J. A. D., City. If the half dollar of 1838 that you have in PERSONAL MENTION. L. D. Hamm, a hotel proprietor of Seat- tle, is at the Palace. G. W. Towle, an extensive landowner of Towle, is at the Grand. F. C. Lusk, a prominent attorney of Chico, is at the Palace. ! Dr. W. J. Nelson, 2 mining expert of Mojave, is a guest at the Grand. Jesse D. Carr, an extensive landowner of Salinas, is a guest at the Palace. Hector Burrness, an oil man of Fresno, is among the arrivals at the Occidental. John Llewellyn, an ol speculator of Los Angeles, is among the arrivals at the Pal- ace. P. J. Ryan, a prominent politician of Shlcas’o. registered at the Palace yester- ay. Judge Frank H. Short iIs up from Fresno on the ofl case and has made his head- quarters at the Palace. John R. Miller and Charles Webb re- turned from Dawson yesterday and have made their headquarters at the Lick. R7:5 % Rt Californians in New York. NEW YORK, Jan. 13.—The foliowing Californians are in New York: From San Francisco—J. Bermingham and A. Berner, at the Manhattan; 'T. Doyle, 4t the Grand; J. L. Frasier, at the Imperial; F. S. Owles, at the Cadillac; H. Brattnober, at the Plaza; H. G. Coyle, at the New Amsterdam; S. Green, at the Herald Square; J. C. Kempoare and wife and N. McLaren, at the Holland; R. L. Knapp and wife, at the Victoria; M. O'Shaugh- nessy, at the Navarre; Mrs. M. J. Plum- mer, at the Kensington. From Los Angeles—J. J. Haggarty, at the Albert; R. Sharp, at the Continental; O. A. Vickery, at the Imperial. —_— Califorians in Washington. WASHINGTON, D. C., Jan. 13.<The following Californians registered at the hotels to-day: At the National—J. V. Young, Miss Baumgarten and J. R. GoodaHl of San Francisco. At the St. James—Josephine Macy of San Francisco. Ex-Mayor W. H. Workman of Los An- geles is here in the interest of the pro- your possession is one that has the letter O between the bust and the date it is worth from $15 to $25 to dealers, but if it is one without such mint mark, then it does not command a premium. You must not mistake the ornament which loops the drapery on the bust for the letter O. SNOWSTORM—E. M. H., City. The heaviest snowstorm that ever visited San Francisco was on the 5th-.of February, 1887. The average depth of snow was six inches. In some parts of the Western Addition the fall was in excess of seven inches. On the 31st of December, 1882, there was a snowstorm and the average fall was four inches. LITTLE BOY BLUE—M., Santa Clara, posed improvement of San Pedro » L o R e Cal. The poem entitled “Little Boy Blue,” in which are the lines, 4 Under the haystack Littl, Sleeps with his head mfl"m‘i:l.l. Was written by Abby Sage Richardson. If you send a stamped and self-addressed envelope to this department ords will be sent to you. e gy TIME ALLOWANCE-J. E. Y., City. In the recent race for the America’s cup the difference In the two boats was 1.435 foot. This computed on the time allow- ance of the New York Yacht Club an all 2 an allow ce Of 43 seconds to the Colum. £ TURN VEREIN MEMBERS WHO WILL TAKE PART IN THE FESTIVAL ————p A CHANCE TO SMILE. “Mike,” sald Plodding Pete, “de world owes us a lving.” ‘“Yes,” answered Meandering Mike, “but in order to collect it we've gotter do somethin’ to convince de world dat we're alive. An’ dat’s too much trouble.”— ‘Washington Star. “‘See, here, if you don’t tréat me fair & won’t trade with you any more.” ““What's the matter?” “Why, there were fourteen potatoes in the last quart you sold me, and there are only eleven in this."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Tom—I have seen the girl I want to marry. I stood behind her at the window this morning, and it took her seven min- utes to buy a five-cent elevated rallroad ticket. Kitty—Did that make you want to marry her? Tom—Yes; I figured she could never spend my income at that rate.—Town and Country, She was a very talkative old aunty and her’ memory was remarkable. Her nephew from the city soon realized the strength of both of these characteristics. “Say aunty,” he put in when he found an opening in the old lady’s continuous chain of reminiscences, “did you ever know the Keeter family that used to live around here somewhere?” “Knew ‘em all!” cried the old lady, ‘without a moment’s hesitation. “Yes, in- deed.” “Did you know Amos?" continued the Joker, “Amos Keeter!” cried the old lady again. “Well, I should say I did. Many's ‘| the party he’s taken me to. Amos Keeter? Dear, dear; how his name does call up the good old times!” And then the wicked nephew had to go out behind the woodshed to laugh.—Cleve- Plain Dealer. ———— Marsh Mallow Kisses at Townsend’s, ———— Ex. strong hoarhound candy. Townsend's.® ———— Cal. Glace Fruit 50c per Ib at Townsend's.* business houaa mflwflu men Ii th‘: &omery sirest. Telephons Matn 1042 —_—— ew Jersey has been called the “Garde: from the fact that a large propor- tion of the farming land in its boundaries is given up to growing vegetables for th markets of New York mml‘dalphl& ) 2o L 1 -