The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, October 27, 1901, Page 2

(L] THE SUNDAY CALL. AS Mr. B. arrived yet, William?" I addressed the question to the smokeroom waiter of the D— Club, which I happen to be a member. I am afraid my tone @id not conceal my impatience. For half an hour I had been menta kicking my heels while waiting for B. in accordance with an appointment made by him the to d ss a matter of con- le importance. previous d side; William reflected by placing the tip of his right forefinger against his brow. B., sir? No, sir; he has not been afternoon,” he then replie d uttered ed at my watch again 2 annoyance. may I ask if there appointment 7" I intimated that such was the case “He won't keep it, ‘William spoke words in a tone of such conviction hat I e med sent word, ther but I don’t think you need He no longer was come st exhausted, b; ell me, William ye th; he Ik it, sir,” said William, most re- spectf with great be astes his 1 'THE VALE man and Twenty tion. T have been in this club, boy, for thirty of them 1 have spent in this smokeroom, ring that time I have met, as a ser- veral thousand gentlem I am ir, and 1t has been my in theorie: to the effect of ¢ acter on a gentlema mok- ing style. I watch every new member's od of smoking a cigar when first he this room. Afterward, when my him grows - vea close o 3 and d vant a thoughtful man, delight to form cert me sits in personal acquaintance =with more intimate, I assure you that I have never found my original estimate to be wrong “What! Judging a man's character his methods of smoking a cigar? now, William?" 1 may smile, sir,”” Willlam went on “but I a you there is a good deal in it. Have you ever noticed how Mr treats a clgar once it is lighted 2 I admitted that I had not taken any no- tice of Mr. B.'s smoking habit ' sir, I have. He lights his gigar, s a whiff or two and puts it down on = 3 couLs g"" ANz the tray. He may take another whiff and they are all absent-minded and forgetful.” he may not. The cigar remains on the “But, William, after all it is not a ver tra 1 find it there, invariably, in thgy wonderful discovery. The act you have shape of a cigar, but merely ashes from noticed is plain evidence of a man's fail- tip to tip. It has burned away of its own ing.” accord, slowly but surely.” “Just so, sir. But there are other points “Well, William, and what does it sig- where my theories are always correct. nify is the matter with Mr. B.?" For instance, if I may make so bold, I “Oh, simply absent-mindedness, sir, 1. ere are half a dozen mem- of this club who use cigars in an e: similar fashion, and T ure you think you possess a very nervous tem- perament. Look at that cigar you have just placed on the little ash bucket. Look, sir, at the extranrdinary way in which you have gnawed the end! It is an jag- ged and torn, and you will have no com- fort with it until you cut off the ragged end—to commence a similar operation im- mediately. There are at least a hundred members of this club who treat a cigar like that. They are all of a nervous tem- perament. ‘ ‘On the other hand,” he went on, ‘I can tell a strong-nerved man the moment he takes a cigar in his fingers. He in- varfably uses the cutter further up than @) 3 THE MAN most folks, and will not cease to smoke it until it is reduced to a rather longish stump—which he takes in his fingers and throws away. “I can spot an extravagant man, too, sir, as easy as may be,” he continued en- 3 “He's a good customer of See him when he gr: a cigar; cuts a an inch and a half to get a free draw and le the biggest part on the tray when he gives it up. Aha! I don't have to wait for my first tip to know he was fond of spending cash! Then look at the cigar smoked by a care- less, slovenly kind of gentleman, He cuts it anyhow, he lights it anyhow, he smokes it anyhow—all burned up one side, you know. Oh, he's a beauty, he is, with a gdod cigar. ir. the club, s ves “Show me a cigar that's nicely cut at the tip end, but so placed on the tray that the ashes are not broken off, and I shall,. without a moment's hesitation, point out the owner as a careful, well- balanced gentleman, who appreciates a good cigar and knows how to smoke it and enjoy every whiff. He is the man I like to sell a cigar to. THE WLTEADY NEAVE “T can't say I'm over fond of the next type of smoker. Him, I mean, sir, who never fails to use a meerschaum cigar holder and who was never known to drop a bit of ash on his shirt front. When take him a box he will spend five minut in sniffing at the cigars before choosing one or two. I call him the fastidious “Have you, sir, ever seen a man smok- his cigar so long that It frizzles his stache, when he sticks the point of de of his penknife into it and con of it till his lips begin to scorch? Of course you have, sir; dozens of them—so I, drat ’em! Mean! They make a cigar last as long as two in another man's case. We have a few of 'em here, sir; worse luck! “You must be off? Oh, yes; there’s no possibility of Mr. B. turning up now, sir. Good afternoon, sir.” have First Suggested Electric Fan. SOCIAL worker who has had oc- casion to inspect most of the so- called sweat shops in New York gave it as his belief that the per- son who invented the electrical fans got lea from the funny little tailors and their sewing machines. It has been an old practice with these workmen in warm e said the agent, to use the power in their machines to fan themselves. This they accomplish by tying pieces of stiff cardboa spokes of the fly or bal- e wheel, and, as they work the pedal 1 their feet, the cardboard on the the air like a small pinwheel the air upon the face of the ew York Post. righted, 1901 by 8. 8. McClure Co.) “where do all these ts come from, enny able anarki the bed,” paw answered. if they Get a Big enuff start to crawl in there before you catch them by the heels. That's why I don’t agree with people th, >l the foldi Bed i enemy of Sivvie I Zation. You g0 allmost ennywhere now and Hear pee- e telling One another how to Get rid of rkists. At prayer meeting mebby k it would be a Good thing fo &0 to the Anarkists with a Bible in the an they t N Hand and a good Big Club in the Other, and talk to them about their Soles. ““What the anarkis s need,’ Elder OneDawson was Telling me when we Coma "ONE OF THRE WORST THINGS ABOUT ANARKISTS EXCEPT THE SMELL 15 TRAT THEY AIN'T CRINAMEN," home together on the Car nite Before last, ‘is an Awakenjng of the Conshunce, or a Batt over the hed if They Got Enny con- shunce to wake, and I guess they haven't.’ The Elder ment well, I no, and I spose he must of Been studying the Case some, Or he wouldn't of thot of the.Batt, but you Can’t stop anarky that way. An- arkists talk so mutch Themselves that no Outsider ever gets a Chance to preach ¢, Them, so they are No Use thinking of Getting them to Lissen to Reason. “Some peeple say Stop the anarkists from yawping and They will all Get killed off by Busted blood vessels, But of Corse the hew mane Society and the peeple that want Free Speech and are agin barba rus tortcher wouldn't allow Even anarkists to be Treated as Crewill as That. Others y send them All to the penitensherry, But you mite make innosunt peeple Suf- fer that way. Becoz sumtimes They are Sircumstanshul Evidence that you Can’t explain. S'posing a man Happens to Be away From home when a anarkist meet- ing is Held, and the police think he was mixed up in it. So they discuver that he was Out Late that nite, and he Can't ex- plain Where, Becoz he went to see his Little boy by His first wife at the Child's Grandmother’s, and would rather Go to prison for Twenty years Than have it Get found out at Home. That would be a Sad fate to overtake a Good onnest Sitizun that never Did Ennything anarkistic ex- cept mebby not pay Taxes and Let the Halr grow all over the Back of his neck. “Some folks think we mite Pass laws Against anarkists, and I s’pose we Could, but what's the Use when we Can’t get one law out of twenty that we have now Enforced? You see they Are a Good many anarkists that vote or Else pretend They do, so the madjusty of the Law is going to Give them the benefit of the Doubt as Long possible. One of the worst things about Anarkists except the Smell is that they ain’'t Chinamen.” “But what do the Anarkists expect to Do if they Get all the Rulers assassin- ated?” maw ast. “Meet in Halls over Saloons and Lay plots, T s'pose,” paw ansered. ‘““That's the way Anarkists Get their Enjoyment. They are some queer things about the Hewmun race. Some men Get their graitest Happi- ness by having a Hundred Millyun Dollars away For a rainy Day and wairing close marked Down from three fifty to a Doller and Seventy-five Cents becoz they Got Damidged on the dummy in Frunt of the Store. Some men think it's fun to Get a few fingers broke on a vacant lot trying to make the Boys think they ust to Belong to the Old Mutuals or the Syra- cuse Stars, and they Say they are a Tribe in Africka somewhere That thinks it's a merry thing to nock little Round chunks of clay up and down Hill and across ditches and Brush piles, where they can’t find them again, but the Anarkists im- madgun the plezzuntest thing on Eerth is to meet in a Hall with one window that ‘was cleaned in 1894 over some saloon and Lissen to one anuther make Speeches in forrin langwidges, That shows sin is Offen its own punishment the Same as virtue iIs its own reward. Of corse sum- times they are a Fello in the Club that's crazier than the rest, so when He has his spazzums it helps along the Entertain- ment. “But the great question is, how are w¢ Going to get Rid of the anarkists? Se that's what makes me Think the Folding Bed is the friend of Hewmanity, after all. When it's folded the anarkist has no place to crawl under, and wnen it's Open ther's no Room for him. Do you s'pose Her: Most would stay in Enny Country that Had no Beds except the kind that can be used as cabinets for Hand Painted China in the day time?” “I no,” maw sed. “But the great trou. ble is the anarkists will keep on coming over to this Country from Europe and we can't Stop them unless we make Every- buddy stay out. That would be rong Be- coz lots of peeple that come across the Sea gets to be good Sitizens and start a run on some Savings bank every little while becoz the Cashier's wife gets te keeping first and second girls or tells a friend he Has a sure tip on the Stock market. And where would we be to-day if Forreners wouldn’t of ever got allowed to Come to Amerika? It seems to me the greatest trouble is keeping out the Gilty without ronging the Ones that want to be free and eakwull.” “Well,” says paw, “if the worst comes to the worst we mite turn the Anarkists back from our shores by passing a law that nobuddy can Land after this with- out Taking a bath, GEORGIE. How Aged Indian Women Die. HE attention of the United States Government has just been called to a barbarous custom that is still be- ing practiced among the Kiowa, Co- manche and Apache Indians in Okla- homa Territory. The Indians of these three tribes, while living under the management of an Indian agent, are comparatively civilized and do not go on the warpath, but work for their living at farming. But they have no love in their hearts for one of their own people after that person has passed his or her age of usefulness. An aged squaw, after she reaches the age of 80 years, is sent into the flelds and left there to die, unless some sympathetic white person comes along and sends the poor old woman te the Indian agency, where she may be taken care of at the expense of the Gov- ernment. Travelers in the reservation may hear the distressing cries of some deserted woman at almost any time they care to listen. A TRIBE IN AFRICA THAT THINKS ITS A MERRY THING VTO NOCK LITTLE ROUND CHUNKS OF CLAY VP _AND DOWN MiLL.