The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, February 3, 1901, Page 8

THE SUNDAY CALL PP AT at the Ghin of which fairyland ts of *“Jand” ma ¥ & & 8 r other & sugg r . zor. . urously declared . of this amateur tailoring w e hionable and. unique Tuxe [ n New York On one pe e Old Groceryman's ettire the 1w arreled, and the old ins ed (in spite bjections) that a plain ooked too much like a on a holiday, and had pur- onsibility a glori- whose purple bars al- s of vivid scarlet. This pproval, and Man Died This Lo @fly ' , Fesnes s0 proud of it all was h» that he would not hide the effect by wearing his over- coat, but ¢ d it on his arm. His high was little the worse for wear it had been Inadvertently sat « or three times, and It rode jauntily on one side of the wearer’s head, well toward the back As the two strolled up Broadway under the flaring yellow electric signs and amid the clungor of cah'a cars and yells of was descending from three carriages in front of a playhouse. “You're the Real agreed the Bad Boy, Thing. all right!"” patting his old friend on the back, “and you're making the hit of your life. See, there's a whole blockful of people following us. It's like a day in the country to them to feast their eyes on such a costume as yours.” “Ex e me, sir,” Interposed a little, hustling-looking man, wriggling up to the bunko-steerer, why I'm ready to stuff one of your own gold brieks right down vour throat, {f—"* “No, indeed, my dear sir,” pleaded the little ‘man, “I merely wished to ask what terms you would consider as a suficlent inducement to wear on vour back one of our dental posters and to walk up and dc\vm Brcadway for one hour with 1t?" “Wait!” whispered the Bad Boy as the door labeled *“Stage Entrance,” and there they were confronted by a big man, who asked what they wanted. “Shall I teli him I'm this Willlam Faversham feller I read about?” whis- pered the Old Groceryman to the Bay Boy, “or shall T just overpower him like the hero of a story and rush past him?" » need to do either,” laughed the Bad Boy. handing the doorkeeper a note from his friend the press agent, passing came to a door which admitted them to a big, dim; grp'n\'-sme..lng space filled with scenery. the bl‘h|nd the-scenes place telling me about so much?”’ looking about dusty “Where's you was asked the Old Groceryman, in disgust. “Right here, 4Answered ,the Bad Boy, leading the wdy to the wings'and wink- ing at a passing stagehand who had commenced “When Reuben Came to The C1i Groceryman With Outstretched Arms Ran After Her to Claim the Promised’ Kiss. “Wuxtra!” ance cause the Old Groceryman’s appear- profound sensation among the crowd of theater-goers who thronged the sidewalks. “I tell you ti quicker'n scat tc ese New York folks is preciate Fashion when it appears in their midst!” chuckled the old ma and he beamingly raised his hat to an amazed theater party which In full panoply of opera cloaks and crush hats S ettt Luxumousflv Ior Fifteen Dollars Cash. S HL plies this ar 4 Feor Italian colony of New York sup- paper in the led “Humor . Savings Bank” vender, a con- s end was draw- 1 a scheme for ending rt. Observe the origin- jcacy of the scheme that he worked on Little Italy. He the bank, and of this he 7 in 3 ed it In a few t again d again rede- 1ing the operation at untfl on the credit side ot 4 entries of all these » $500, and on the the amount of After carefully showing the s drawn, and leaving the Jong line he took to his bed and called He was dying: they could eits, s friends. see ti , the old man told them. They were good fellows, and he loved them all, and he wished Pedro, the ba- nana peddler, and good Giovanni, the bootblack, and Arthur, the wine seller, to know bow affectionately he regarded them. What he had to leave them was not much—would Edgardo, good old E: gardo, kindly find, between the mattress and what used to be the springs. his bank- book? Yes, that Take it to the window and tell him how much was there Eight hundred? Ah, well, thanks to God that it was so much oh, that it were more, for such g0od féllows as they! Bartollo had told him that he might live three months—till spring. Would his good friends put back his book under the mattr and when he whs gone—no, they mustn't erv—would they take it up to the bank, draw the amount and divide it between them? Meanwhile, as his lovirg friends of the present, his heirs in the future, would they kindly at- tend to his little wants? Would they? Did they? That old fellow was fed on the fat of the land while he lay there in bed. He drank more Chiant! in a week than he had swallowed in five years. Jt was even hinted by some that Arturo, the wine seller, was hastening the end by the vile Chianti that he constantly produced from kLis stock, while the push- cart man Was S0 generous of unripe ba- was it Dottore 01a Groceryman, “but I represent a den- tal firm which extracts teeth painlessly. Crown, bridge and ylate work neatly ac- complished by correspondence. Teeth filled with gold, porcelain, platinum, cement, silver-or admiration while you walt. Sent in a plain sealed envelope.” “Well, young man,” sald the Old Gro- ceryman, dubiously, “what's all that to me? It yrm're A;vnellle \\'nnam, the nanas for the sickroom that there was a division of opinion in Mulberry street as to whether he was cheering his friend's finale with fruit or endeavoring to com- plicate consumption with other {lls. At last he swallowed his last flagon of Chiant!, and though Little Italy made a decent pretense of sorrow, it was really B e e 0ld Groceryman seemed about to tear the adverflsing agent asunder. *“He's only Joking. That's Edwin Booth, the great actor. He's a notorious practical joker. He makes it a rule only to try his jokes on fashionably dressed men. Come along and don’t mind him. Here's the Pinochle Theater."” They left Broadway and entered a side street, where they -utopped in front of a en fete—at last the $800 was to be draw, I was in the bank when the principals, in their holiday clothes and with a few chosen friends, arrived. They stated the case and askel for the amount, from which the pushcart man was to receive some $40 for fruit, the wine seller $100 ana the others various -ums invested for the the two into the slage entrance. *“Don’t injure the poer fellow till we (ry the effects of gentler measures firsi The doorkeeper read the note and with a snicker at the profusely illustrated old man, which the latler took to be compli- mentary, let them pass. They walked along u narrow, paved pas- sageway lighted only by a dim gasjet that was shrouded in a wire cage, until they invalld and his funeral, leaving some $350 as the “dividend.” I need not describe the small-sized riot that followed when the abstraction of the pages from one side of the book was explained to the swearing mourners and a tender was made to them of the $15, all that the deceased had in bank. -.-‘—rl-l-l-l—r'l--H—l—l—l- pfeireleieleilee el @ An Estnmate 01? the Fumre Tremendous Output of Coal Mines in the United States. HE British coal cutput having now reached a total of 220,000,000 gross tons, from an area of about 8000 square miles, the opinfon is preva- lent that the maximum output of that country is within sight. This being the case, the question naturally arises, How does the situation in the United States compare with this, and what will be our maximum tonnage? Our coal areas of the United States comprise upward of 150,000 square miles, so that so far - as area is concerned we have fifteen times as much coal lands as Great Britain, and the impression might prevail that in due time the United States might produce ten times, at least, as much coal. Yet this is subject to marked modification, al- though thirty-five years ago the total coal production of the United States did not exceed 25,000,000 tons and to-day it is at the rate of 250,000,000 tons per annum. Pennsylvania now produces at the rate of 125,000,000 tors per annum. It Is very doubtful if the output will ever be more than twice as much as it is now, or let us-say, 300,000,000 tons. Illinois, too, has an ultimate output of 0,000,000 tons, or two and a half times the present tonnage. West Virginia may in time produce three times its present output. For Ohio a total output of 35,000,000 is all that can be expected. Alabama we shall enter as 70,000,000 tons. Indiana may produce 10,- 000,000 tons fifty or seventv-five years hence, but at that time Maryland may be worked out, or nearly so, and if we continue that State at its present figure we shall be generous. Let us put down 20.000,000 tons for Iowa and the same for Colorade. Kentucky wiil be & large pro- ducer, and 15,000,000 tons may come thence. Kansas and Missouri will_ probably not increase so much; 10,000,000 for the two is our estimate. Tennessee will probably produce as much as both, and so will W oming. For Washington and Virginia we may set down 6,000,000 tons each. The Montana output may run up to the same figure, and the Indian Territory and Ar- kansas tonnages may reach 5.000,000 tons aplece. New Mexico may produce 4,000,000 tons per annum in time, so also with Texas and Utah. Michigan will proba- biy never exceed 2,000,000, and 1,000,000 for Georgla is a liberal estimate. California, North and South Dakota, Oregon, North Carolina, Nebraska and Rhode Isiand may all be jointly credited with a product of 1,000,000 tons. Here, then, we have a total of 669,000,000 tons as the ultimate meximum output of tha coal mines of the United States. Town.™ The first act was on, and the chorus filled the stage. A young lady with fm- moral hair and shrill costume had just finished a ballad, and the chorus girl with the strongest pull and the weakest voice was proposing the health of the Marquis, while a supe filled fifty quart tankards from a half-pint flagon. “Gee!” murmured the Old G Groceryman, Curfioms Origin rubbing his hands. “This here sight beats ‘East Lynne’ and ‘Uncle Tom's Cabin® all holler. I wouldn't of blieved 1t if T hadn’t seen it. I'm going out there and get acquainted.” He had taken a step toward the stage when the Bad Boy, overcoming with an effort his love of fun, lald a restraining hand on the old man's shoulder and ad- vised him to wait till some time when the audience didn't happen to be looking. Then the Bad Boy left the old man to his own devices and wandered off in search of a friend. Before the Old Gro- ceryman could fairly recover his breath at the sight of so much beauty the act came to an end and the girls trooped “he stage. As a bevy of girls passed where he steod the old man was so awed by the near approach of » galaxy of beauty that he gasped aloud: “My goodness, gracious me! I'm liable to fall out of bed and wake up iIn a min- ute!” . The girls turned as they heard Western accent and as they caught s of his gayly decked figure they set up a pertect shout of amusement “Young ladles,” remarked the Groceryman, bowing as much as possibla after the style of a picture he had N seen of “The Meeting Between Laf and Martha Washington,” and 1 ng hand on his heart, “young ladles, hold in me a rich and wealthy capitalist whose only object to spend money in promotin’ ventures. I'm here to send you all with companies of your own at fab'lous salaries. Gee! but I'm rich. W 4 reckon I must be worth in all m more'n $3000," naming the largest sum could for the moment imagine. A shriek of laughter from the girls fol- lowed his words, and they flocked around bim in a crowd, one of them pulling his whiskers and telling him to say “Ba-a-a!” while another annexed his two huge roses and a third asked him if he hadn’t better give her the whole $3000 50 the other girls wouldn’t feel too stuck up. ‘The Old Groceryman took all this chaf- fing good naturedly, thinking he’d made & tremendous hit, and when one pretty girl asked him for a lock of his whiskers as a souvenir he answered gallantly: “Why, to be sure, miss! Only you must glve me a kiss first ~Sure, Rub: laughed the girl, “enly you've got to catch me to get it.” Aad she flitted away with the other girls to \g-room, Where they bad to ir costumes in a hurry for the We n theatr! out the dressi change th next act The Old Groceryman with outstretched arms ran after her to claim the promised kiss, but he lost sight of her at the fir turning and ran back and forth, peering vainly into dark corners in search of her. At last he spied In dim nook the flu ter of a dress. R ng up. he caughtc hold of its wearer, exclaiming, “AR, you giddy little thing! You couldn’t hide from me,” and kissed her twice. “Do it again; | like that,” mumbled & voice, and as he drew his prize out into the light he saw she was not the chorus girl he sought, but the aged, toothless scrubwoman attached to the theater. “Hello, there!” cried the Bad Boy, ap- peafing suddenly. “Have you found your rich widow at “No, I ain't! ndered the Old Gro- eryman in disgust, dropping the scrub- woman's arm and seizing the Bad Bov. ~But the lookin' girl you eve saw has promised me a kiss if I can only find her. You just come along and heip me now." * And he started off again in his love quest, dragging the convulsed Bad Boy ia bis wake. At last they came In sight of the stagy again. The second act was on and the Old Groceryman spied his charmer sing- ing in the front row of tne chorus, and with a wild whoop of triumph he rushed out of the wings straiglit on to the stage toward her, dragwing the mortified and struggling Bad Boy and shouting: “I've caught you! I've caught you!” as with the Bad Boy still trailing along In his grasp he bore down upon the.amazed girl. “And now I'm agoin’ to have that there kiss you promised me."” Releasing the Bad Boy, who fell in & heap in front of the footlights, the O Groceryman flung both arms about the girl and planted a loud, fervent, smacking kiss on her lips. There was a squeal from the girl. a howl of delight from the audience and down came the curtain with a rush. Two minutes later—torn, disheveled and breathless from contact with enragel stage attendants—the old man and the Bad Boy faced each other in the street. “Well,” gasped the Old Groceryman teebly, “I kissed her, anyhow!" GEORGE W. PECK loveliest- and Variety of Meanings of “Hodge Podge.” —=EW words in the Englith language have such a ‘variety’' of meanings hotch-potch. and spellings as Hotch-poteh, hotch-podge, hotch- pot, hodge-potch, hodge-podge, hodge- pot, and every other conceivable combina- tion of the syllables contained in those may be found In literature and Leard in conversation. Nowadays, it is chiefly used by children to designate a game which they play on tie sidewalk, on which is roughly drawn in chalk the required form. The game is quite popular in New York, and ‘on a summer's day, thére is hardly a block withoufjts hodge-podge game, the chalk marks used in them remaining until the rain washes them off. The words hodge podge are also used by the Scotch to denote a certain kind of pudding made up of numerous kinds of ingredients. But the words are really of legal origin. In olden times it was the custom of a father to give a daughter a portion of his estate for her “advancement in marriage.” 1f, upon his death, he left the rest of his estate to his children proportionately, the one to whom the marriage portion had words been given could not participate in the distribution unless she agreed to divide the lands which she had previously ob- tained as her marriage portion in equal proportion with the rest of the lands de- scending. This was denominated, bringing those lands into hotch-pot. If, however, she thought that she would be the loser by so doing, she could retain the lands she had at first received intact. Just why this custom received the name of hotch-pot does not appear, but in an old English textbook following ex- planation is found: “It seemeth that this word hotch-pot is in English a pudding: for in a pudding is not commonly put one thing alone, but one thing with other things together.” By this was meant that the marriage portion and the lands subsequently de- scending should first be fix& and blended together and then equally divided among the sisters. The word hodge-podge is now most commonly used to designate any kind of mixture, although what relation that meaning of the word has to the game as played by our Amarican childrea s not very apparent.