The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, January 27, 1901, Page 6

WSERS TRIBULATINS: HE MAKES ‘SOME AFTER L NEW YEARS RESAVTIONS. alone for a quarter of an hour vould caim down and a row would be evoided, and five minutes eran w - end he was growing calme wn. 1 busement bell rang, and in a m a w her back humped her eyve. In his desire two the girl brought him up a bl was a bill from the butcher amounting tc % cents. Mr. Dowser jumped clear oft ths fleor as he looked it ever, and the Mr. Bow red & foot- stool, he fell over it aund came te the MR BOWSER JUMPED CLEAR OFF TTHE. FLOOZS ' e I'm an o1 crank and a kicker and a bull- or the eoal Is gone eleven minutes too o dozer Apout four nights out of seven soon, I'm not going to inmp vp and down T come home ready for a row. If nothing and charze you with being the most reck- {e1se is wrong, T find a shirt button on the less and cxtravagant woman ever born Hfloor ard use.it as an excuse. . By gum, “Fifth—I shal] bring home a crowbar . ‘but when I think of the rows I have to.morrow, and the t time [ get . ed over nothing I wonder that you ome of my snells on I shall expeet you s s € not stabbed me with a poisoned bod~ to spit on your hands and hit me across » fact that you haven't (ha neck. one of the ¢gjxth—I shall invest in no more tramps A W year m a0 theall the” 0t o “Snrini ‘tonifos’ or - fice r ve myself like a sensible L - nings “You have done nothine.” she reite all, and now give your old hubby : ated. ““and so there is no need of any Sird Jet's be BamoE." new lves. Was there ‘any late néws Mrs. Rowser embraced him and told him swearing off R he was ‘as good as gold and then used all E “I don't know anything about news + her nawer of persuasion to get him to ¥ - b but I do know that I'll make sit down to his cig: She couldn’t accom and nawspaper aga'n. h it. however. His ass n myself or hi to kick me to death. Mrs. Bowser, I've heen an old lallaloo.” ! In his agit Mr. Bowser got up and began gesturing, and the cat grinned to herself and saw fun ahead. ‘What's a lallaloo?” asked Mrs. Bow- ser. “I don’t know, but it's something pizen some jac! consclence and his enthusiasm being aroused. he couldn’t keep quiet. He wasn't satisfied with being good, but he wanted to be very, very good. “How on earth you managed to put up with a husband like me all these vears 18 a mystery,” he said as he walked to mext moment he was shouting for Mrs. Bowser. She came to find the cat grinning with del Mr. Bowser as red as rushing downstairs 1 e bi p and down and fro, with tears in his eyes. 35 bilvup ang dow “ mean. Now, you look at me and hear srhers is nothing wrong with you an. Do you see this? N me as I say from this time on: ewered Mrs, Bowser,'laying aside her ™MOney, and what “First—I'm not going to rip and roar wround when I find a clothespin on the loorstep. book and rising. 1t? Spent it for “There have beer, yes, a thousand TUn me in debt!” ’ things wrong with me, but there will not “You made that bill vourself one day “Second—If the beefsteak Is overdotie pe hereafter. When I have played the last week when you ordered chops. You had a $10 bill, and the butcher couldn't and the coffee not up to the mark, I'm soing to keep my mouth shut. “Third—If you discharge the cook, I'm not going to interfere and make a jay of myself. i “Fourtb—If the gag bill is 15 cents extra crank and the kicker and the fool, why haven't you hired some one to boot me all over town?” “I must go upstairs and shut the win« dow,” she replied as she moved away. The idea was that if Mr. Dowser was change it. Don't “Never! Never! I never ordered chops!" “But you Wednesday night, and you said it was English mutton.” Copyright, 1971, by Quall & Warner. HIM acthoriesses ar' th' divil, Mrs. McGlaggerty.” “Troth'n’ they ar’, Mrs. Magoogin.” “Th" owld by's gran'mother Kud'nt nowla a candle to thim, Mrs. McGlagger- ty No, indade, she knd'st, Mrs. Magoog- t wan av thim’'s done ald the widow, sinking into-a narratal mood. “A ploomp little pithogue av a crauythur that sings in com- 1o make more room for the corn bafe an’ cabbage, I shuppose, an’ fwhat dez she do but lose it, Mrs. McGlaggerty. The doiminds in it war as thick as th’ loomps av butther in butthermilk, an’ they do say th’ belt was wurth uvry pinny av tin ur a hundhert thousan’ dollars, Begorry, but id was a molghty dear dinner to me foine lady. An' in a bang-up, shwell, bong-tong place, too, Mrs. McGlaggerty. an’ Broad- way abow, fwhere they charge forty- noine cents a plate for olcecream, an' ye can't close yer mouth an a portherhouse stake wit'out payin' th’ proice av a house an’ lot for it, alanna. Now aff id happint down In th' Bow'ry fwhoile she was fillin’ her cossetswud red hots ur pork an’ bains 1 wudn't moind it so mooch, d've see, b Broadway, fwhere th' Vandherbilks an’ Ashtors an’ other people that ar' rowlin in wealth haves their daily promenades, W IDOW - MAGOOGIN-- SRAE AEARS ABQUT AN ACTRESS LOSING A DIAMOND BELT. begorry, it's too mooch; vyis, indade, in- tolrelv too mooch, me frind! It manes that none av our doiminds ar’ safe any- phere, Mrs. McGlaggerty. An' OF'll have to take moine out av th' kitchen shtove an’ put them back in th' owld brokin- shpouted tay kittle agin, an' that's all, But mebbe she didn’t lose thim at all, Mrs. McGlaggerty. Mebbe she had sooch a gud appetoite, mavourneen, bein’ as she has no work to do an’ no salary comin’ in, that she zte too mooch an’ had to sind the doimind belt around to a pawnshop to hock fur noine or tin dollars, all they'd fwhin ye hear tell av so many av thim that can't pay their boord, Mrs. McGlag- gerty JQHN J. JENNINGS. remember?" surely did. It was last lcal od'ry wint jato a resturrong, ur a give her on it, Mrs. McGlaggerty. Who .._* T calf, as me daughier Toozy sez, fwhin she Kase annybody that id go into a Bow'ry knows but fwhat it's that that happint, - DHE TOOK dhrops aff inte Irinch, an’ takin’ aff a caif wud a doimind belt on id be taken' me frind. Upon me sowl, but it's quare AFF A 2l THAT SINGS 1N dolmind belt from aboui her walsht she her loife in her hands in these harrud to me fwhere thim acthoriesses get their DOJMIND S COMICAL OPRY" laid 1d aside fwholle she was altin’ so as toimes, Mrs. McGlaggerty. But abow an doiminds an’ their doimind belts from BELT F‘RDM -fi ABOUT HER WAISHT."