The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, January 27, 1901, Page 11

THE SUNPDLY CALL, - 11 7LD SR . ¢ 15 0 s s — FATRICIIIES OF GRIIUS 2 TARK TWAIN 5% B. POND'S recent book, of Genlus No man ® AJOR G 7\\\‘/\\ centricities 4 A\ stands alove of its k ving could possibl r Pond to give this volume, which has recently be the world: and these, his per es, naturally make m g reading. He gives a side in the of the great ones of the earth that to the general reader is ever a matter of curiosity and generally of mystery. The major appreciates a good story, know how to teil one himself and has a mem that never fails him. His anecdotes ar out of the ordinary. The g will give some idea of their character: HENRY M. STANLEY. . ENDURA ndignation against had been aroused rview of that evening Stanley was absolutely gre There were twen- ty-three reporters present—picked men of the great newspapers of New York, Phila- delphia, Boston and Chicago. My rooms were packed. The men were 21l keen set, and full of the historical sig- nificamce, teo, of thelr opportunity. The interviewers, with ample time to look up the issues, were prepared with keen ques- tions, and s he answered others were it on every side BILL NYE AND JAI!!S WHIT- COMB RILEY. THEIR PRACTICAL' JOKES.—I re- nember when we were riding together, in the smoking compartment, between Co- lumbus and Cincinnati. Mr. Nye was a great smoker and Mr. Riley did not dis- like tobaces. An old farmer caine over to r. Nye and said: : “Are you Mr. Riley? I heard you was e train® o, I am not Mr. Riley there.” “I knew his father, and I would like to spesk with him." “Oh, speak with him? Yes. But he deaf and you want to speak loud.” So the farmer went over to him ald, in & loud voice: s this Mr. Riley?” Er, what?’ “Is this Mr. Riley “What did you say “Is this Mr. Riley? “Riley? Oh, yes.” “I knew your father.” ““No bother.” “I knew your father.” What?"” 1 knew your father.” “On, so aid L"” And in & few moments the farmer heard e and Rilev talking in ordinary tones of voice. Imagine his chagrin! MAX O'RELL. HIS FUNNIEST STORY.—One night he %ad been in bed in the Grand Pacific Ho- tel perhaps an hour or so, when there came a very decided rapping at his cham- ter door. “Who's ther: called Max O'Rell. A reporter,” came the answer. “Well, I can't see you, now. I'm in bed." The Frenchmen heard his door being pushed open and the chair which he had placed against it tumbled over. Some one nced inte the room, struck a match and proceeded to light the gas. “Well, well! What'll you have, sir: what'll you have?’ cried Max O'Rell, in- nant at this cool intruder The reporter tossed the match into the fireplace and, throwing himself into a chair, said “What'll I have? Oh, I'll have a whisky cocktall.” —A storm He is over P. T, BARNUM. HIS ECONOMY.—The day he arrived at Boston 1 met him and Mrs. Barpum, his COPYRIGHT tomBann: new young wife, at the station. Each had small handbags. 1 started to pilot them to a carriage. Mr rnum satd “We will walk to the Parker House., It is not necessary to go to the expensel of a carriage. MARX TWAIN. HIS ABSTEMIOUSNESS.—Mark Twai eats only when he is hung known him to go day vithout ez particie of food At 1t same time would poking constantly when was not. sleeping. HIS PRESENCE OF MIND.—The Mon- tana Club tertained him grandly after the lecture he met many d friends and acquaintances. €. f them had come all the way from Vi City to sea t r former comrade of camps. One man, now very . came from Virginia City, Nev., on purpose to see Mark and rettle an old score. When the glasses were ftilled and Mark’s health proposed this man interrupted pro- ceodings by saying “iold on a minute! Before we go fur- ther I want to to you, Sam Clemens, that you did me a a4 dirty trick over there in Silver City and I* come here to have a settlen There was eathly ‘slience for &:mio- ment, wt his deliberate drawl Let's a —before. The crowd was dis- hegan to rake Canes balcony railing and or, and in less than irly shook the theater. Mr. Beecher s d me to proceed As Mr. Beecher arose and stepped to- ward the footlights another vell went up. He stood unmoved and waited for some time. Finally a lull came and he began It was not many minutes befo: SOMETRING HE kitchen departments on railroad [ dining cars are run according to fixed ruies,” said an old Pullman conductor, “and nothing is left to chance or caprite. The cook is furnished with a manual giving explicit directions for the preparation of everything on the bill of fare, and } countable for a vi He is even told how thick to cut the bread and how much butter to put on in case he is mak- ing sandwiches. Sometimes a hungiy traveler, who naturally wants big por- tions, thinks the man in the kitchen ¢ trying to economize on him, but he may rest assured he is getting exactly wha the law allows—no more and no less, I remember a picture in one of the satir- fcal papers a few years ago of a fat gen tleman looking scornfully at several small sections of bread and butter. ‘What do you call ‘those he asks. ‘Pullman sand wiches,' replies the waiter, ‘Hu! grunts the touris(, ‘Mr. Pullmay must cut 'em out with a’ conductor's punch! We ker, and for two and a half hours Mr. her addressed that crowd, swaying them with his mighty eloquence and tell- them such truths as they never before to. NIMITY.~1 rémember say n one day, after I had seen him arm in arm with a man who had him, who had been abusing him: I think you arrying the doctrine of foregiveness too fi 1 He aid > n we go further than who curse us and pray for ¢ use us? Ah, there the spirit of Chr et when - a man is trying off to follow him even derstand it." RALPH WALDO EMERSON. PUBLIC APPEARAN @ began reading his lecture the au- nce was very atientives After a fe moments he lost his plage apd his grand @aughter, sitting in 1he front row of se zently siepped toward h'm and reminded him that he was jectupipg. He saw at once that he was wandering, and with the most eharming. characteristic, apologetis bow, he resumed his plage. an incident that seemed to affect the audience more than anything that could possibly hav aceurr A few minutes later he tock a plece of manuseript in his hand and, turning around with it, laid it on a side tabie. He probably had been about fifteen minute T patged out, many of them in tears WILLIAM E. GLADSTONE. HIS INTEREST IN AMERICA.- two o slons 1 breakfasted with Mr. Gladstone at his Harléy street house. He was interested in my stories of Western frontier 1'fe and asked if I had any ob- ving a stenograf sit be screen and down tk ories When once seated at the table somehow, 3 fratefeafosenfoons sfeforiosonfocfntoonfoconfoonfo e SUT RAILROAD haven't got it down quite as fine as that, but we come pretty near it. The Kitch- ens are stocked at regular intervals and a careful calculation is made of the exact number of portions in everv article fur- nished. At the end of the run an in- spection i made and the cook must ac- count for everything, either in suppifes or méal checks. Under that system petty pilfering Is absolutely impossible. “The purchasing agents who lay in the stock at impértant points, from which travel is heavy, are exceedingly impor- tant/ members of the company’s staff. They can easlly render the diniig servic over any route profitable, or the revérse, and something more than mere experi- ence and intelligence is required to make & success of the job. The men who have done the best at It seem to be guided by a sort of instinet, but as a matter cf tact they are continually studyving the conditions of travel. They learn what the general run of their patrons like at certain seasons of (he year and complle unconsciously, I was going on at a great rate giving experiences of my Western life. It was 1 o'clock when we rose from the tabie. He sald: ‘Major Pond, I can- not tell you how interesting your visit ha been to me. I thank you for it." T reporter was conciaied behind a screen very near. I hame looked for the stories in print, but I never found them IAN MACLAREN (DR. WATSON). HIS APPETITE.—It was after 8 when we reached the hotei. The clerk told us we could get nothing to eat, but the doc- tor rushed to the dining-room and made a loud noise on tue door, which was cpened by a man in evening dress “1 must have some food right away! the doctor repeated, and rushed by the man to a table where were the remains of the dinner of tiac latest comer. Ha attacked it, and the head waiter tried ta » proceedings, but the doctor kept right on, SIR EDWIN ARNOLD. HIS ME Jne evening In my li- brary dwi was reclining on lounge. T w ding a rare volume of Shakespeare, which he had been admir- ing and passed me. Now, major,” £aid he, “giye me the first line from any dlom, ‘and I'll give you the him a line from 1own of the plays, and recited the entire EMMA ABBOTT. HER THIRST FOR NOTORIETY.—Mr, Eeecher's lecture was about half through when something happened. The attention of the audience was attracted to the front of the house. All of a sudden there came walking down the center aisie Miss Emma Abbott in her Juliet make-up and wig, the train fairly sweeping tbe aisle, Walking down to the orchestra rall she turned and walked in front of the au- BINING €AaRS a curious sort of table of averages that they use as a basis in purchasing perisha- ble stock. such as meats, fruits and fresh vegetables. There is a line in the North- west .tnat s known among the dining- car men as the ‘beefsteak route’ on ac- count of the extraordinary call for that particular article of diet, and I know of another that is nicknamed the ‘oatmeal express’ for similar reasons. The oat- meal express carries a good many ladies and children. and the beefsteak route is a tavorite bighway for drummers, so, af- ter a . the explanation is simple enough An expert stock purchaser can command a gocd salary, and not long ago a man wio had, been -statloned for some time in New York was offered a very hand- some position as superintendent of the refreshment service for a big railroad in England. It had been run at a loss eve: gince it was installed, but within sixty days after he took hold of it began to return a profit. At the same time it was greatly improved Dining cars are a comparatively new thing abroad, and they are far behind the American, both in system and luxury. dience to the box which was on t of the stage and which she might e have reached by tho side aisle without obs servation After the had spent itself bis lecture to Beecher, had fo ) m s and- wig and I rushed from here without changing my d 1 should ‘miss you theater Francisc afte § Oakland, we were of the Palace Hot ‘finished, engaged in conv denly s Mr. car? Mr. Crawford said “It's'an earthquake, major! Don’t be frightened. I've been in fifty of them. will only last twenty seconds.” MATTHEW ARNOLD. s watch a HIS INAUDIBILITY.—Matthew Arno stepped forward, opened out his manu- script, laid-1t on the desk, and his Mps began to move. There was not the slight - est sound audible from where I stou After a few minutes General Grant sail to Mrs. Grant: *“Well, wife, we have paid to see the British lion; we cannot hear him roar, so we had better go homé." They left the hall. I. ZANGWILL. HIS VIGILANCE FOR “NO. 1"—It seemed almost impossible to come to any kind of understanding with Zangwill. He thought that. there was a great publie waiting for him over here, and I also thought so to a considerable extent he couldm’t understand why he come over to America A draw great crowds and T get a third of the profits from his earnings, so nothing was defl-, nitely settled at that interview. WALT WHITMAN. HIS MEETING WITH ARNOLD.—Sir Edwin asked Whitman if he should not recite from memery some of the latter's gems. 5 Sir Edwin then stoéd up, when he was asked to recite a portion of Wait Whi man's verse on the death of Lincoln. Come early and soothing Death Undulate round the world, severely arriv-, ing, arriving, In the day, in the night, to all, to each, Sooner or Jater, delicate death. HALL CAINE. HIS DISAPPOINTMENT.—The over- whelming success of the play “The Chris- tian” had in some way led Mr. Caine to believe that there would be the same sort of rush of people to hear the author of “The Christian.” The disappointment affected him very much. I had all I could do to keep him cheered up. RUDYARD KIPLING. HIS REFUSAL TO LECTURE.— attleboro, Vt., Sept. 30, 1885.—Dear, r. Pond: I am much obliged to vou' for your letter, but T can’t say that I can see my way to the ententement you propose. There is such a thing as paying 125 cents for a dollar, and though I sup- pose there is money in the lecturing bu ness it seems to me that the bother, the fuss, the being at everybody's beck and call, the night journey it very dear. I've seén a few men who lived through the fight, but they did not ook hap; I might do it as soon as [ had two mortgages on my house, a lien on the horses and a bill of sale on the furniture, and writer's cramp in both hands, but at present I'm busy and con- tented to go on with the regular wrltin;’ business. RUDYARD KIPLING . and so on. make | R T LT | | |