The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, September 18, 1900, Page 6

.. SAN FRANCISCO CALL, TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 1900. The ke @all. SEPTEMBER 18, 1900 TUESDAY....ceeeeucecseen JOHN D. SPRECKE LS, Proprietor. tddress All Commun ns to W. S. LEAKE, Manager. MANAGER'S OFFICE . .Telephone Press 204 PUBLICATION (g Telephone EDITORIAL ROOMS....217 to 221 Stevemson St. Telephone Press 202, Deltverea v Single Terms by Mail, ding Postages DAILY CALL (including Sunday), one yeas DAILY CALL (including Sunday DAILY CALL {ncluding Sunday), 3 Y CALL—By Single Month. AY CALL One Year. .50 WEEKLY CALL One Year. % All postmasters are to recelve Sample coples will be for: OAKLAND OFFICE. ed when requested GEORGE C KROGNESS, r Foreign Advertising, Marquette Building, Chicago. (ong Distance Telephone *“‘Central 2619.) Man subscribers in oroering change of address should be cular to glve both NEW AND OLD ADDRESS in order 1o insure & prompt and correct compliance With their reques:. YORK CORRESPONDENT: Heraid Square NEW YORK REPRESENTATIVE: SMITH,, 30 Tribune Building XEW YORK NEWS STANDS: Waldorf-Astoria Hotel; A. Breotano, 31 Union Square; ray Hill Hotel. Mu CHICAGO NEWS STANDS: Sbermen Houee; P. O. News Co.; Great Nortbern Hotel: Premont Hcuse; Auditortum Hotel. WASHINGTON (D. C.) OFFICE, MORTON E, CRANE, .1406 G St.. N. W. Correspondent. ERANCP OFFICES 27 Montgomery, corner of Clay. open until $30 o'clock. 300 Hayes, open untfi 9:30 o'clock. 33 McAllister, open until $:30 o'clock. €15 Larkin, open until $:30 o'clock. 1841 Mission, open until 10 o'clock. 2261 Market, corner Sixteenth, epen until § o'clock. 109 Valencla, open § o'clock. 106 Eleventh, open until 9 o'clock. NW cor- and Kentucky, open until 9 o'clock. —*‘Quo Vadis.” ow's Husband.” and *“Napoleon's Guard.” )pera, Sunday night, September 23. and Eddy streets—Specialties —Vaudeville every afternoon and September 24 to October § AUCTION SALES. Horse ay Evening, September 15 1 street Department by of Education a con- their service. Du f the present board a hamber proceed- teachers of long of the department without pay merit, b rtment in the iemer. Under given to Under the convenient fic- dation ¥y was a new avenue system. and now Pres ident Ma no longer be he wding this promise President the board of whic 1g to evade the course which ex- monsirated to be just. He says that { service will govern advancement, tk ns of principals will also be mate & the action of the board. t the prevailing and dishonest not to be completely factors in det This means simpl scheme of favoritism i By the bo: the present boar than the co: for a teacher opportunity © destroyed recommendation, under has meant nothing more or less of the board upon a principal to ask hom she does not know and had no A vacancy happens, for ex- A principal’s o owing. emple, in 2 c school. The principal may know only one e teachers who are available to fiil the wacancy. Those whom che does not know are the- oretically and, very probably, practically as efficient as the one she knows. But her acquaintance with a par- ticular teacher i epted by the Board of Education as the qualification most essential for advancement. Instructors who have known longer service must wait unassigned or make the acquaintance of eve-y principal in every school in San Francisco or seek the favor of a politician with a pull. This is the evil which ends in demoralization and scandal. It is the evil of favoritism, which The Call exposed. It is the evil which President Mark promises to eliminate from the School Department. Under the theory of the local school system experience is the criterion of efficiency and its proof is priority of service. If in obeying t! established rule of the department the board commit | error, the remedy fixed by statute and which the board as not been slow to accept lies in the accusation, trial | 2nd dismissal of teachers found to be inefficiens. nt Mark should remember that favoritism is eguard except to those who possess no other on for advancement. P m— The Board of Education, lashed by public opinion-‘ into a sense of dut has decided that priority of ser- vice and not the dubious avenue of favoritism shall govern promotion in the department. It will be in- teresting to watch how the board will honor its own rule. The praise which all nations are bestowing upon merican troops in China for refraining from out- rages i dence cloguent to prove that Uncle Sam’s are as generous to a fallen foe as they are rous to a fighting one. In admitting the merit of Sergeant Price and re- fusing to reward it the Police Commission is probably obe one of the rules of the Phelanite code of civic esponsibility for labor disturbances and class un. rest can be laid justly to the Democracy out of office, 2 tale of calamity could be written with the nites in power. FrICE..Market and Third, 8. F. 1 Press 201. i vss..1118 Broadway | ROOSEVELT’'S ACCEPTANCE. OVERNOR ROOSEVELT in accepting the 6 Republican nomination for the Vice Presi- dency has presented the country with one of the clearest and strongest statements of the issues at stake which has yet been made. All the vigor and verve which are characteristic of the man are mani- fest in the letter. There is not a weak sentence in it. No important issue of the time is ignoted or evaded, nor is anything intruded which distracts attention from the main questions before the people. Asa cam- paign document it will be widely read and will prove one of the most effective of the year. With a characteristic justice of statement Roose- velt says: “I feel that the contest is by no means one merely between Republicans and Democrats. We have a right to appeal to all good citzens who are far-sighted enough to see what the honor and the in- terest of the nation demand.” In view of the fact that so many eminent Democrats who Iave been e | among the most stalwart of their party in times past have in this contest declared for the Republican nomi- nees, the accuracy of that statement cannot be suc- cessiully disputed. A great host of far-seeing Demo- crats who have an intelligent appreciation of the in- terests and the honor of the republic will support McKinley this year as firmly as the sound money Democrats supported him four years ago, and it was a ; graceful act on the part of Roosevelt to make a pub- | lic recognition of their patriotism. | .Since it is not so much a contest between Repub- ans and Democrats as between the friends of good fi government at home and abroad and the s®pporters | of a policy of disaster, it is fitting that the points in [ | controversy should be emphatically stated for the in- | struction of the voters. Mr. Roosevelt has done that |in the following words: “Fundamentally and prima- T the present contest is a contest for the continuance | of the conditions which have told in favor of our material welfare and of our civil and political integ- rit If this nation is to retain its well-being or its self-respect it cannot afford to plunge into financial and economic chaos: it cannot afford to indorse dard of national honesty and destroy the integrity of our system of justice. The policy of the free coinags destruction to every home in the land. It means un- told misery to the head of every household, and. \ J 1 | above all, to the women and children of eve: home galat “There are real abu on for striving to remedy The first thing to do is to find out cts, and for this purpose publicity as to capitali- 2d all else of importance to the pub! ul asure.” He adds: *“Much may Even more can be done by Conc ns involved in the { of trusts Mr. Roosevelt says: and there ing the proble ample re be done by taxation. by on of a regulations, e supervi 1health ion and the unsparing . destructive and anti-social The separate State governments can do a ments. and where they decline to co-operate the Government must step in.” The remainder of the letter deals with the issues 1t of the war with Spain and the insincerity the Bryanites in shouting against “impe and “militarism” is cxposed. As Mr. Roosevelt “The words mean absolutely nothing as ap- ed to our policy in the Philippines. * * * Our not so large as it was in the days we have not one regular for every 1000 great de: Nation: lism™ there is of the reintroduction of slavery. There is no_other man in the country who is re- | garded as more typically American than Roosevelt. Certainly there is none in public life who knows all the United States more thoroughly or has a more com- mpathy with all_classes of its people. He v man who spent several years of his life as a cowboy; a Northern statesman who when the war broke out went to the ifront as a leader of Rough Riders drawn from the Southwestern plains. He knows Montana and Texas as well as New York and Massachusetts, and is a true American to the core. | His letter will find a responsive welcome everywhere, and there will be mary an old-fashioned Democrat who will be moved by it to repudiate Bryan and all that Bryan stands for and vote for McKinley and Roosevelt Coroner’s juries have communed with themselves and have decided that four men killed in this city the Southern Pacific cars owed their death to their own fault. The railroad company must be offering a bonus to suicides. THE CAMPAIGN CF HYPOCRISY. REDIT belongs to President McKinley for put- ting into a single terse phrase the fact that C whatever issue the Bryanites may call “para- mount” in this cqually terse that the chief feature of the so-called “paramount issue” is the hypocrisy of Bryan with re- d to it. Speaking of the relation of Bryan to the Philip- vine treaty, Senator Hanna in a speech on Saturday =vening at Delphi, Ind, told how, at a gathering of representstive Republicans in Boston, Senator Hoar cliaracterized Bryan's action and announced his judg- ment vpen it. The dispatches report Senator Hanna to have said: That grand ¢ld man arose and, laboring under the solemnity—and, as he thought, the importance—of that occasioh, felt that he had been almost estranged from his party and from his President, and vet, strong under | his own convictions that had rooted within him in a lifetime, he saids Fentlemen, you all know that 1 have not been in harmony with my party upon this Philip- pine question: but that is only one of the many im- portant questions, and as long as my party stands upon | the foundation. the principles of which were the be- | ginning and baptism of its life, I shall stand by my | party. But,” he said, “I propose to tear the mask from | the face of that hypocrite, William J. Bryan. I call | him a hypocrite because, like my friends Senator Lodge | and Senator Hanna, I know the motive which inspired | the action on his part to ratify the treaty. You told | | me then, but I could hardly believe it was true, and I now see that It was true, and that he is acting the part of a consummate hypocrite in all his advocacy of the oppositicn to the President on that occasion.” Commenting upon the statement of the venerable Senator from Masachusetts, the orator went on to say: “I repeat it here and I will repeat it from every rostrem where I have the opportunity, that the ac- tion of Mr. Bryan and those who are following him in this contest on this Philippine question has been cre of hypocrisy and deceit from the beginning and will continue so to be to the end.” There is no exaggeration -of politics in that state- ment. For years Bryan has declared that his chief object in politics is the overthrow of the gold stand- ard. He persisted in that declaration down to the’ | meeting of the Kansas City ‘convention. The astute politicians of Tammany Hall who attended that con- vention, being aware that to make the campaign on the silver question would medn an overwhelming de- fcat, managed to have “imperialism” declared the “paramount issue,” and Bryan, who.had urged the rati- fication of the Philippine treaty, promptly adopted the governmental theories which would unsettle the stan- of silver at a ratio of 16 to I is a policy fraught with | There is no more danger of a draft than | campaign, the preservation of the gold | siandard is “the immediate issue,” and equal credit ‘s | dre to Senator Hanna for setting forth in a statement | ‘new cry. He had himself helped to prepare the way for it. He had long foreseen the need of some kind of mask to wear in the East while waging his second tattle zgainst gold and with the raw cunning of an unscrupulous demagogue was quick to find that mask in the problems which the war with Spain have left for the pecgle of this country to solve. The hypocrisy of Bryan in the campaign has been further shown by his refusal to say whether, if elected o the Presidency, he would pay in silver all the Government obligations which are not specifically payable in gold. Upon that question he will neither say yea nor nay; and yet it is but a short time ago since he went about declaring the establishment of the gold standard “the crime of modern times,” and em- phatically announcing that if elected President he | would zet rid of it as quickly as he could. ] i During the campaign of 1896 Bryan by his specious | promises and direful predictions of what would hap- per if silver were not remonetized managed to fool good many of the people. Since that year, how- cver, the course of events and the advancement of prosperity have refuted all his prophecies and made his promises valueless. He cannot fool the people again, not even by trying a new trick. The campaign of Liypocrisy will end for Bryan even more disas- trously than the campaign of debt repudiation four | years ago. y The telephone monopoly must be scheming some new imposition upon the public. The company, with unaccountable generosity, has agreed to reduce its charges of service to the city government. | CALLING HIM A CATERP.LLAR. HEN reviewing Roosevelt’s letter of accept- \& ance yesterday the Examiner said: “Governor Roosevelt is very sure that we ought not to have the free coinage of silver. It is believed, al- though space was lacking to dwell upon it, that he is 16101~ ISSUES. cqually opposed to the Ptolemaic system of astron- omy, the Virginia and Kentucky resolutions and the Lecompton constitution of Kansas.” 1 that mean anything at all it means that the free coinage of silver is no longer a live issue; that it is as dead as Ptolemaic astronomy. If such be the case, however, why did the Kansas City convention re- affirm and reiterate the silver plank of the Chicago convention? Why did Bryan seck and obtain the | Why | on nomination of the convention of silver men? did Towne of Minnesota, who is a Republican cvery issue except that of money, withdraw from the cet in order that Bryan might be better Why does Senator ver Repub- Populist able to make the fight for sjlver? Teller of Colorado and many another s 1 i upport Bryan? i Had the aminer 1cad Roosevelt's letter it would | i | | | | lic: ave found there this statement: “When our oppo- nents champion free silver at 16 to 1 they are either | insincere or sincere in their attitude. their championship they of, course forfeit all right to belief or support on any ground. If sincere, then they are a menace to the country.” That is the way the people look at it. : By way of evading an assertion of sincerity or a confession of insincarity as to silver, the Examiner | ! hastened to Roosevelt's argument on the Philippine | question, and referred mockingly to what it called | “the cowboy standard.” Such a method of meeting an opponent’s arguments will not appear satisfactory to the public, but the Examiner thinks it will pass. | In fact, in an editorial immediately following the one | on the Roosevelt letter it gives an explanation of its style of argument, and the explanation is sufficiently | curious to be interesting. It appears that one of the readers of the Exam- | iner has a friend from Berlin who does not believe in the immortality of the soul, and the reader, being greatly distressed thereat, wrote to the Examiner to | say: “You could very much oblige me by telling me soemething I could say to him.” Thereupon the yel- | low journal proceeded to instruct the reader to teli | the Berlin atheist, first, that Bismarck believed in a future life; and, secord, that a caterpillar has no | more right to turn into a butterfly than a man has to | I ! Ii insincere in turn into an angel. It closed with this sage advice: “Say to your friend: ‘Hans, you are only a caterpil- | lar, not a philosopher, and so don’t bother me any ! more.'” Then it adds: “Calling him a caterpillar | will annoy him and leave him without an answer.” | It will be scen the method is simple. Call Roose- velt a cowboy and it will annoy him and leave him | without an answer. The defect of the method is it is so easily learned that even wise men may be | | tempted to use it in answering a fool acéording to ‘ | his folly; so let the retort go—the Examiner is a i caterpillar. .The temerity with which lawyers are ready to risk | being in contempt of our local courts suggests that contempt of court is frequently justified. B THE COST OF A PROVINCE. | UBLIC interest in the war in South Africa has p well nigh ceased. There are no longer any bat- tles to be fought there, and the world does not care to follow the dreary story of the pursuit of feeble and scattered bands of desperate patriots by the va- | rious troops of Lord Roberts’ victorious army. When the general elections are called for in Great Britain, and the Salisbury Ministry has to submit to the voters a declaration of the policy it proposes to pursue in dealing with the conquered, there will be again a world-wide interest in the issue, for all intelligent | people will watch to see how much of magnanimity and how much of déspotism the British will exhibit dealing with their fallen foes. For the present, how- ever, the subject is about closed. The new province has cost the empire dear. Offi- cial returns from London gave the list of deaths | among the British forces down to August 25 as fol- Tows: XKilled in action Died of wounds Died of disease Died of captivity. Accidental deaths, Total deaths. In addition to the dead there were at the time the report was made 2833 men who were either prisoners in the hands of the Boers or missing. The soldiers sent home as invalids nunibered 27,309, raising the official statement of the casualties for the British army to the monstrous total of 40,561. This, be it remem.- bered, makes no mention of the sick and wounded soldiers in the hospitals throughout South Africa, who probably range in number between 15,000 ami | 20,000 men. Since the time that report was issued there has not been much in the way of fighting. The ‘Boers no longer hold their positions with the valor and skill and resolution displayed in the early days of the war | It is evident most of therh have lost hope of victory and are fighting now solely because they cannot bring their minds to submit to the hated yoke. Not- withstanding the lack of fierce fighting, however, the British will still Tose & g0od many men before peere lis established. Emopive, it will be seen, is costly. | Towa. are at the Oc C. C. Block of the United States vrulscr‘ ADDING TO THE GAYETY OF NATIONS. —New York Tribune FERSONAL MENTION. B. F. Logan of Louisville, Ky., is at the Palace. - Willlam M. Levine of New York is at the Palace. C. W. Eastman, a Modesto lawyer, i= | at the Grand. Dr. William D. Babeack of Los Angeles | Brookiyn | mason is at the Lick. 0. 0. Howard, ncphew of General How- ard, is stopping at the Palace. E. H. Whitcomb and wife of Davenport, dental. Philadelphia is registered at the Palace. Rev. P. F. Logan, a Catholic priest of Loulsviile, Ky., is registered at the Palace. C. White Mortimer. British Consul at Los Angeles, is registered at the Occl- dental. E. V. Dart, a prominent Rock Island business man, Is staylng at the Oca- dental. Colonel Robert L. Meade of the United States Marine Corps is registered at the Palace. H. H. Noel, wife and two children and IN governess from England are stopping at | the Occidental. H. Bratnober and wife of Tacoma are guests at the Palace. He Is an expert mining engineer. J. M. Willman of Newman and C. R. Downs of Sutter Creck, both mining men, | are at the Occidental. E. C. Chapin, 2 retired merchant Holyoke, Mass.. is stopping at the Rus He is traveling for his health. George Ross and wife have talen apart- ments at the Occidental. Mr. Rcss con- ducts a big plantation in Honolulu. H. B. Gehr, president of the Kohala and Hilo Railroad in Honolulu, and William F. Heilbron and wife, also of Honolulu. i are at the Occidental. for many vears surgeon in the Jocal hospitals, left yester- day for New York City, where he is to take up his permanent residence. T. H. Moore of Galveston, Texas, ar- rived in the city yesterday and has taken quarters at the Russ liouse. Mr. Moore Oscar J. May T, said he left the ill fated city two days be- | fore it was storm swept. Among the Seattle people who came in on the Walla Walla and who are regi tered at the Grand are: W. Hayes, Mrs. E. Howland, Anna M. Church, Miss M. G. Rigney and Miss Mary Rigney. Mr. and Mrs. Henrv C. Breeden and daughter, Miss Blanche Virginia Breeden of Portland, are stopping at the Pal Miss Breeden Is to be married to-morrow afternoon to Howard Coles Burmister of Prescott, Arizona, vice president of the R. H. Burmister & Sons’ Company. Tae ceremony is to take place at 3:30, the Rev. Dr. Langdon officiating. J. T. Louis is back from Hawali after an absence of six years. He is at the Occi- dental. He predicts a bigger output of sugar from the Hawaiian Islands this vear than for three ars past. The | crops are exceptionally good this year and there are a number of new plantations to be heard from. He says the cou has been greatly overestimated relative to (he opportunities Yor smal’ farms. Those without abundant capital stand a poor show of success, he say —————————— CALIFORNIANS IN WASHINGTON WASHINGTON, Sept. 17.—A. W. Hyon and H. Franklin, of S8an Francisco, and | W. W. Garthwaite of Oakland. are at the Shoreham; L. R. Mead of San Fran- cisco and Mrs. J. C. Tucker of Oakland are at the Arlington; J. W. Harris of San Francisco and G. A, Narbonne of Los An- geles are at the St. James. © —— e ———— ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. FROGS—J., City. A list of works on frogs and breeding thereof was published u'a ?;x?wen to Correspondents on August 18, THE LARGEST STEAMER—P. M., Sac- ramento, Cal. The largest steamer afloat on the_Atlantic Ocean is the Oceanic— length 704 feet, breadth 63 feet and depth 49 feet. 3 HEALTH LAWS—C. R. F., City. If you wish to read up health laws and or- dinances you had better go {n the Freo Public Library and call for books on that subject. DICE SHAKING—Constant Reader, City. In shaking dice with three dice the spots that are uppermost are counted. ‘When but three dice are used the general rule is one throw, then a second and a rub on the third thro WASHINGTON CENT-R. C. P., City. There were three Washington cents issued ‘in 1783. The one having upon its face a bust of Washington facing left, encircled ndenge. 1783, lznd on the reverse nity States of ca’ and one cent in a wreath, com- mands a premium from dealers of from 10 to 20 cel;é:. Dealers charge for such from 50 to 75 cents. DUNNING LAW—A. R. §., City. There is no law in California that is known as a “dunning law," permitting a ereditor to dun a debtor for an account that is out- lawed. If a debtor passes along the street and is insulted or hcoted at or annoyed b a .‘fl.‘?&m his remed’; in { by 2pplying to the prose- cuting attorney of one of&muc for a_ warrant for the a t of :heeo‘:):: ce. who disturbs his pea %m‘ lenitn | of | of Brooklyn approach, 971 feet; gth of ches; New York approach, 156: total length of carriagewa) tal length of the dge. with exten: 637 feot; size of New York ca 2 feet: s imber and ir concrete in well hol: 9 cubic feet: weight of Ne c about 7600 tons; ‘weight of con- crete filling 8000 tons. New York tower ¢ cub ards F ns ntains 46 tower cont Depth of te ter. Brookly tion below eh water, Size of towers at high ne 8 feet. 14030 feet; size of towers at 1 height of R feet. Clear center of river span 90 degrees Fahren- of floor at towers ra ight anch, anchorags anchorages eight of e ber of ; heignt of 5 feet rear; num- of each’ cable, ) single wire in ultimate strength : weight of wire, Each cable contains sted) gzalvanized steel. wrapoed to a solid i diameter. Perma- nent weight tons. — ee—————— CRITICISM OF MAYOR PHELAN'S ORATORICAL MISAPPROPRIATION 1 itself responsible for n this column. but r value they may of general interes The Call does not the exinions ¥ prescnts them have as commu Editor e ¢ Ana the wonder grew, That one small ¥ could carry all he knew. Our' erudite Mayor, only to govern the cify erable man, you have from anothér generation Now if he 1 oration of Dar the laying of th the matchless ter delivered at tone of the Bu will find that the d his address by ‘God-like battle and sayving: ‘‘Venerable men, you | e come down to us from a former generation. Heaven has bounteously ngthened out s that you might 1 this joyous da but it has been left for Mayor .o turn iconocfa: car the laurels from the tomb t A PIONEER. IN MEMORIAM. Mrs. Sarah B. Gillespie, who died Sun- day morning at St. Luke’s Hospital, was the widow of the late Charles V. Gil- lesple, for many years one of San Fran- cisco’s best known citize Mr. and Mrs. Gillesp China for several years as a young mar- ried couple, came to San Francisco in 1848, They saw all the early struggles of the young city and shared in its_vicissitudes. They were both prominent -in the work of the Episcopal church, and identified themselves with Crinity parish from its first organization. Mr. Gille was un- til his death a vestryman of Trinity, and having no children of her own, Gill fter living in lespie devoted herself with loving teader- | ness to- charities for children, and was for years one of the active managers of the San Francisco Protestant Orphan Asylum. She was also notable as a housewife, and the cordia! hospitalities of her husband and herself were well-known features in San Francisco homelife of the | years gone b The Gillespies had no blood relatives in San Francisco, and, although after the death of her husband Mrs. Gillespie's later years were saddened by life's cares and the loss of fortune, contrary to the ordinary way of the world she did not suffer the loss of friends, for many ral- lied to corefoft and support her declining vs. She died 84 vears old. blessed in the memory of all who knew her. May the consummation of her gentie life. in death, be perfect rest ™ER EINT TO JUDICIARY. (San Jose Mercury.) The San Francisco Judze who had the half paralyzed and wholly ill Mrs. Craven dragged into court because he would not believe the certificates of physicians fiied by her attorneys made a most damning comment Ly hig action u of the law In that city. utterly discredit the alidavits and solemn declarations of attorners made ingjudieial proceedings, it reveals a condition of rot- tenness of the bar and courts that calls loucly for reform. Why has mot som. Judge attempted to improve the tome o? judicial and legal ethics by punishing for contempt or having incicted for perjury some of the attorneys who make faise statements In court or file false affidavits? No fraudulent suit, vo forged will, no blackmailing contest, no skillfully pre- parcd perjury, no lying affidavits have gone into and 'throuzi the courts without the active work of aito:ieys fully cogni- zant of their character and in most cases their chief factor. The bench has the power, if not to put an end to such things, at least materially to modify them. if 1t will usXit, but this presumes a bench not infected with the ethics that obtain in a b;u‘; where these practides are not frowned u hen —————— MAN'S HARD FATE. “There" uch ¢ . whei “pur- sued by the flen ks 'mg worl LLNSM be doing."—I - <pended from cables, 14,69 | of that famous | on the practice Judges so | A CHANCE TO SMILE. NONE TO BE MARRIED. | Tess—Were there any marrying men down at the shore? Jess—Yes; it was awfully aggravating. Tess—Aggravating? Je: s there were four ministers and two justices of the peace there.—Philadel- phia” Press. | A MEAN TRICK. | _“That magazine oditor is a double-dyed villain and a deep schemer.” ‘ “In what respect?” | _‘“When I struck him for increased re- he raised the rates, but now buys only half as much matter.”—Indian- apolis Journal CONCEIT OF MAN. “We women, this psychologist says, re- member our dreams more vividly than men rémember theirs.” “Of course, my dear. You know you have us men to dream about.” —Chicago Record. LIFE. You may blot as you write, and then scratch out the same; But no power can erase a big blot on your name. —Detroit Free Press. “Do you get much encouragement in | connection with your campaign fund?" “Too much,” answered Senator Sorg- um. ‘“Too many people want to pat me on the back and speak words of encc agement Instead of giving something. — | Washington Star. NOT THE MAN FOR THE JOB. “Do you think he is a good man to put on the stump?”’ asked the Democratic campaign manager. Excellent, excellent,” was the enti stastic reply. “He can handle facts in | most masteriy manner.” Facts!” roared the campaign manager. “Facts! Great Scott, man! Don't you know we have no facts to handle? What we need s a man who can worry along without them."—Chicago Post. A RISING STOCK. Reuben—Can you tell me something to | buy that 1s sure to go up? | _Stoxanbonds — Yep. Thermometers. — | Baltimore American COMPELLED TO MISS IT. “You ought' to have seen me hustling to get out of the way when the explosion took place.” said Fweddy. “Old fellow.” responded Cholly, “I shall regret it to my dying day that I didn’t see you. I was too busy watchlng the minor effects of the explosion. Would you mind doing it now to show me how you look when you hustle? "—Chicago Tribune. —_— e SAUCE FOR THE GANDER. Sald a young and tactless husband To his inexperienced wife: “If you would but give up leading Such a fashionable life, And devote more time to cooking— How to mix and when to bake— Then, perhaps. you might make pastry Such as mother used to make.” And the wife, resenting, answered (For the worm will turn, you know); “If you would but give up horses, { _And a score of clubs or so, To devote more time to business— | When to buy and what to stake— | Then, perhaps, you might make money 1 i l | ! i Such as father used to make.” Scoharfe Republicar. ———— | BEFORE AND AFTER TAKING. | Pomona Progress. The announcement that John J. Va.en- tine, president of the Wells-Fargo Ex- i press Company, is going to vote for Bryan this fall has caused a high tide of raptur- ous joy in the breasts of that candidate’'s devoted followers. And why shouldn’t 1t? Mr Valentine is a big man. Mr. Valentine is at the head of one of the biggest corporations and monopolies this country has. Mr. Valentine is a ta monopoly having shirked share of the war taxes by refusing to ¥ the tax on ipping receipts. thus compelling ng and producing classes to pay s taxes for it. Before Mr. Valentine announced that he | would vote for Mr. Bryan the Democratic | newspapers throughout the country com- | signed him to the lowest depths of Dante's inferno for shirking his taxes, and heid | him up to the public gaze as an awful ex- {ample of the greed of corporations and monopolies. But that was before Mr. Valentine had swallowed the Kansas City platform at one gulp. That aet produced a magc transformation and made his case a strik- ing example of “before and after taking." e A o 1 Cal glace fruit 5c per b at Townsend's * — e — Speetal information supplied daily to business houses and public men by the Press Clipping Burean (Allen’s). 510 Mont- gomery st. Telephone Main I . e Take Your Own Pictures. 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