The San Francisco Call. Newspaper, July 26, 1896, Page 19

THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL, SUNDAY, JULY 26, 1896. 19 Some of the Things a Only a Horsefly Why Police Judge Gampbell Began His Vacation With a Study of the Dictionary Police Judge Campbell announced from the bench yesterday that he was desirous of baving all the business of his ‘court cleared up prior to the date of beginning his vacation. He had hardly descended trom the judicial bench when a solemn- visaged friend approached him and grasped his hand. “Glad to hear that you are going away for relaxation, Judge, “said the friend, “but I want to warn you against the sarcophaga.” “*Sarcophaga? What the deuce is that?” “What; never heard of the sarcophaga? Sarcophagnus, which was originally a stone coffin, supplied the name for the sarco- phaga—only it has been Latinized.” “The dickens,” said the jurist. “Yes, indeed. Rightly named, too. You know that thisclimate encourages noxious life with the same fecundity that it gives rise to fleas. On every scented breeze are bacteria, pupz and larve in sickening pro- fusion. That is, -they are sickeming to any man not as robust as you are. By the way, how are you feeling?” The jurist said that he felt fairly. “Perhaps you are all right then,” broke in the friend cheerily. “But to return to the sarcophagus; no, sarcophaga I should bave said. Not sarcophagus, eh, Judge? Awkward mistake, that.” “No; not the sarcophagus, of course.” *‘Of course not. But the body of this foe of man and beast, black and funereal as his coat, is too suggestive for comfort. A tracing would show the main lines of the body to be shaped like a coffin lid. Ah, yes; here you are; not a good drawing, but still it shows a coffin with wings on it. The wings belong to the sarcophaga, and not to the sarcophagus.” There was something eerie in Judge Campbell’s eyes as he edged slowly away, refusing to accept an invitation to take a drink or a cigar, or to receive further warmups. When his friend had gone away the jurist sought out an elementary work on entomology. ““Well, I'll be blessed,” he said; “that is a good joke, after all. The fellow was talking all the time about a horsefly.” The Unknown Winner of Races Throughout the season picnic parties cross the bay from San Francisco and make a day of it at Shell Mound Park, be- tween Oakland and Berkeley. Generally a programme of exercises and athletic sports is prepared in advance to furnish entertainment and, incidentally, to furmish a drawing card to provide for the necessary expenses, Athletic sports are favored, especially by the young, and not infre- quently by the humorously inclined of riper age, who take part in fat men's races, etc. The boys come in for their share of the fun. BSo it was that on the . occasion of the recent picnic of the butchers there were two races for boys, one being for boys under 10 years of age and the other for boys under 15. The | | first race, for under 10-year-olds, was easily won by an unknown, a very little fellow, who ran away from bis competitors like a deer. When the race for the older boys came on the winner of the-other réce started again. By his side lumbered 1 boy, head and shoulders above him, his agile legs spreading far apart like the pointers of callipers and covering the ground rapidly if heavily. The smaller lad held his own very well and came in a close second. The larger boy was dis- qualified for some reason and the little fellow therefore won again, taking an- other prize, a pair of tan-colored shoes. Subsequently the same lad has won boxes of candy, neckties and enough articlesand bric-a-brac to make hini comparatively wealthy.- Still, he has worn his honors meekly, having open an eye for the main him to avoid being disqualified. In re- ality the lad is between 14 and 15 years old. Being undersized he looks not to be over 10 years old at the outside. His record has been looked up by San Fran- cisco youths who have come into com- petition with him, and they discover that the unknown has won races in school competitions. His thin and wiry legs are hard as steel and as nimble as a gnat’s. His body is light and withy and his breathing apparatus would fit a racehorse. His name is Henry Low, and he lives in Oakland. How She Beats The Gandy Stores A San Francisco girl was seen to enter five candy-stores in succession recently. At each store she purchased a nickel’s worth ot chocolate creams. Bhe frankly told an acquaintance, who is possessed of an inquiring turn of mind, why she did this. She had in view the securing of the largest amount of confectionery for two- bits. She had experimented, and had dis- covered that where she purchased only 5 cents’ worth the confectioner hardly weighed the candy. He threw, as a rule, a small handful into a bag, with a pretense of weighing., but really keeping little tally on the balances. If the amount looked very small he was liable to drop in two or three more choco- late creams. That made little difference in one lot, but when three extra ones fell into each of tive bags the gross results of ingenuity were encouraging. Some skill- ful and expressive arching of pretty eye- brows, some scrutinizing or melting glances, played their useful parts in each separate instance, and a pert little twinkle in both eyes betokened consciousness of a shrewdness. To verify the assertion that more choco- late creams could be secured on this plan than by the ordinary way of putting down a two-bit piece and asking for.two-bits’ worth at .one. place, the girl purchased a lot with & quarter, and then adjourning to another store, whers confectionery is not sold, a comparative test was made with the use of balances. The tally was chance, and his discretion has permitted | in favor of the 5-cent plan decidedly, winning and self-congratulation at native n Ildle Jvlér\ There were twelve nore chocolates se- cured that way than in the more common form of procedure. “Iam in no hurry,” said the girl, further explaining herself. *‘I see by going to five places more than I could see in one. I make more trade acquaintances that way and I have more chocolate creams to divide with my little brothers and sisters. Besides that I am a student of economy, & believer in the coming woman, and am already figuring out the best project to earn 'xlny own living, which I expect to do soon. A Bill of Fare Nine Miles Liong -Two club men were discussing the com- parative capacity of their friends for eating. They were joined by a third, who insisted that there is no comparison between the appetite of the same individual on shore and at sea. “Therefore,” said he, “if you Found in the Odd Gorners of San Francisco _ A Case of Flunk This Is Liable to Occur to Every Man Who Rides Poorly in Rich Habiliments Bicyclists make it a pofut to consider the music concourse at Golden Gate' Park their rendezvous after a spin out to the cliff and, even when there is no music there, the “bikers’” may be seen reclining by the dozens on the grassy slopes. All the scorchers congregate with that bond of sympathy which makes all wheelmen and wheel women only “alittle less than kin.” Clubs assemble there for runs. ‘When there is a concerted meeting of this sort the novicg who ventures into the con- course wobbling and unsteady on his wheel at once becomes the butt of all the experts. Fully one hundred wheelmen club,” The trousers are capacious in girth and opulent in leg capacity. The length of leg only is changed for the mulatto boy. Where the scissors leave only as many inches of trousers’ leg as there are leg of small boy, the little fellow, fairly envel- oped. seems to be shaped like a hitching- post fror the ankles up—the same size all the way. That is why the boys, looking at him, have called him “Bloomers.” That is all right among his cronies, but the-outside-of-the-neighborhood boy who says ‘‘Bloomers” must flee from Anthony street or prepare to ‘‘scrap’ in self-defense. anloteraan He Would Look Well in Stfipes A drove of young pigs, numbering sev- eral hundred, squealing and grunting made their way slowly across the foot of Market street yesterday, en route for Butchertown. Many commutersand over- land passengers were crossing East street, The Chinatown Gat That Cleans Windows Naturalists have long coneeded the cat to be the cleanest animal living. That is as regards its own fur. There are even cases on record of cats having bitten out & piece of their own flesh in order to get rid of an objec- tionable piece of tar or other tenacious substance. But there isa catin Chinatown that discounts all of these, for it not only keeps itself clean, but it keeps everything around it clean. This cat has its home in the store of the Wo Yuen Company on Clay street, near Stockton. It is impossible to teil just whom it belongs to, a= the Chinese in the store will not answer the question. From all that can be learned the cat is of a very valuable breed that is a native of China. In factfit is said that it is of the same to satisfy any cat. should be. present case the cat will have to be known as “Tom,"” family as the cats that are in the home of the Emveror and are used in the temples. What the Emperor wants with cats or why they are used in the temples are matters of no importance to the story. No matter what the ancestry of this cat may be it Jooks to a person not versed in feline genealogy like a cross between a Maltese and a tortoiseshell with & good deal of just common cat in the general mixture. But be that as it may this animal has certainly acquired its habits of cleanliness from some other conditions of life than its present one. There is a possibility that the owners keep it as a curiosity, seeing that it is the only real clean thing about the place where it lives. A The Chinese in the Wo Yuen store are very proud of the cat, and even have a name for it. however, 1s unprintable, as it sounds a good deal like a combination of the words “lung” and “‘tank,” soin the which, after all, is a good old-fashioned name that ougnt The cognomen, As has already been mentioned, it is imnt'”llbla to tell where Tom acquired his habiis of cleanliness, but the fact remains that he is clean. He is so particular that he will not even lie down without first taking a rag and brushing off the spot where he intends to make his bed. And he brushes it good to be sure it is as it Tom's star performance, however, is cleaning windows. In fact he makes a specialty of this, and the way he does it is most commendable. His tavorite resting-place is close to one of the show-windows in the front of the store, and before he stretches himself out comfortably he makes sure that the window is clean. g : It makes no matter whether the window is dirty or not, Tom always gives it a few rubs just for luck; possi- bly. As soon as he makes up his mind to rest he reaches for a rag and dipsitina pan of water. Then he commences to rub the window pane. And how he does rub! In a few moments the glass is like a diamond, and he lies down to rest peacefully. S and wheelwomen were in view, giving their silent steeds rest. Into view came a most gorgeously attired wheelman. His bike shone resplendent with nickel trim- mings and so on, and upon his bar were female favors, a fluttering collection of red, white and blue ribbons. The rider was middle-aged aud vain, and the expe- riencea eyes of the observers at once de- tected his inexperience. He wheeled oyer to the side of the concourse commonly frequented by wheeiwomen. They saw fun aheaa. Pretty soon the wheelmen be- gan to guy the new comer. “You're off!” they shouted. “Why aon’y you scorch?’ ““Where did vou get them ?"” The novice blushed, then got rattled and fell off—a case of clear blue flunk. While he gathered himself up the welkin rang with cheers and laughter. No poor rider has any business to haunt the concourse if he wishes to escape ridicule. The North Beach Bear That Lives on a Board The animals of Meiggs whart are about as important personages as the men who live in the vicinity and there is no time when one of them is not playing the part of favorite. Sometimes it is a wonderful dog who makes a specialty of killing crabs and at another it is a cat that swims out to ships and gets the papers for the reporters of the Merchants’ Exchange. Or it may be a monkey or a turtle. At one time it was an armadillo. But no matter when one goes out that way there will always be a crowd around some creature that 1s declared to have ‘‘more sense than a man.” At present a young bear belonging to W. Fitzgerald is holding the boards, and what that bear cannot do in the way of tricks is not worth doing. At least, that is what the members of the crowd who spend hours of each day watching its queer antics say. -In fact, there are some of them who declare that the bear is capable of say- ing “yes” and “no.”” But there is no doubt of the fact that the creature shakes its head in the proper direc- tion to indicate whether it wants food or not. . Aside from the bear's smartness there is one fact that is sure to be interesting to students of natural his- tory and that is that the bear poasitively refuses to live anywhere else but on a board that was really put up for it to exercise on. 3 The young bruin in question is about seven months old, nearly all of which time it h: spent at its present home, Mr. Fitzgerald having bought it when it was very young. As a cub the bear was a great favorite with the crowd, but it was a long time before it had & name. It was such a versatile animal it was impossible to find a cognomen that covered all its fine points. At present its name is declared to be ‘Jim,” although a few members of the crowd insist on calling it “Paffy.” But Puffy or Jim it is all the same to the bear. When Jim was first brought to his present home he was put out in a small yard fastened by a chain, but as he showed a disposition to climb Mr. Fitzgerald had the contrivance already mentioned put up for him. The board on the top was just what Jim had long been looking for, and he made up his mind to stay there. And he bas staid there in spite of all efforts to coax him down. The first three days he was up he went without food, and would heve done so longer had it not been put np fo him. At present Jim eats, drinks and sleeps on his perch and stays there all but a few moments each day. He even takes his exercise on the board, which is not more than fifteen inches wide and three feetlong. It looksdangerous to to see him walking around the edge, ‘but so far he hus not fallen. wish to make a real match, the condition should be inserted that the contest shall come off on the ocean, and shall continue two or three weeks, and shall not begin until the contestants have been some days off shore. *1t is not uncommon for a cabin passen- ger to eat seven square meals per diem. At6o'clock coffee and mushes are pro- vided. Then in turn there are prepared breakfast, tiffin or lunch, dinner and tea. In addition to these soup is served between meals if it is wanted, and as this is accom- panied by bread and crackers each turn at the soup farnishes another chance of a reasonably square meal. Oh, yes, there is a record of eight and even nine meals per day on shipboard, and that is the real rea- son why tiavelers come from a sea voyage looking sleek and fat. A bill of fare taking in all one passenger eats would be as long as & moral law.” RO iy The Seriousness of Three Years One of those rosy, cherubic babes, such as Raphael has immortalized, was discuss- ing with her mother, in the infantile wis- dom and seriousness of three and a haif years, the eminence of the Deity. “Where is God ?” asked the prattler. w“Everywhere,” responded the fond mother. “And did he make every one?”’ "Oh. ’“." 7 “Did he make you?”’ “Certainly. “And papa?”’ “Why, yes, of course.” “And all babies?” “Yes, all babies.” “Mamma, dear.” *Yes, my child?’ . *‘Did God make bottle babies?” His * Bloomers " The Pet of Anthony Street and the Fantastic Garb He Wears Six Days a Waek A short street, one block long, runs be- tween Mission and Jessie streets. This is known as Anthony street. It is not the abode of the well-to-do. On one side of the street is a charitable institution, which holds forth refuge to the poor and needy. On the opposite side, “‘lodgings from 10 to 15 cents per night’ are advertised. True it is that a few willow trees cast upon the narrow sidewalk their grateful shade and bright - colored geramums try to mimic the glow of real gardens asthey strike their roots into boxed soil and fur- nish evidence that poverty has not crushed the love of the beautiful out of their owner. Among the human beings who reside on Anthony street is‘‘Bloomers.” The supposition might be natural that | “Bloomers™” is a girl. He is, in truth, a ‘mulatto boy, giited with white teeth, an open. countenance, love of fun and play equal to a kitten and an appetite which does not.appreciate its own capacity. The poor children of the neighborhood, quick to detect peculiarities and apt in applying epithet, fopnd the name of “Bloomers,” which came about naturally. The mother of the family is a widow. She has several children and “*Bloomers” 18 one of the smallest.. There is no money with which to buy clothes, and very little to be devoted to the purchaee of food, for that matter. The clothing which “‘Bloom- ers’” has worn fecently has been donated or handed down by an older. member of the family. Some of the donated clothing seems to have been oncea part of the ward- robe of the president of some “fat_men’s on their way to the ferries at that hour Even the most careless observer noticed that each of the pigs bore a lateral stripe eighteen inches to two feet long. Had they been branded? There was no reason for that. Still less could it be fancied that the porkers had been striped for orna- mental purposes. The explsnation was speedily furnished. A stout fellow armed with a blacksnake whip emetged from a saloon and proceeded to accelerate the speed of the drove by slashing right and left with the blacksnake whip. Every time the whip descended a shriek arose from an innocent pig and a long stripe marked the blow. Passers looked on threateningly and remarked that the driver would look well in stripes. The Gq-Eds and " The Big Serpent John W. Pack, assayer in the United States Mint, when the duties and responsi- ‘bilities of the day are over, ratires to his bome in Berkeley, where he refreshes his mind and body with the pleasure of a bu- colic and peaceful existence. As an inci- dent he provides sustenance and care for a black cow, which has, however, a few white freckles freakily distributed over its smooih and sleek coat of hair in minute spots. This freckled cow has a record asa racer, made and sustained upon several occasions when chance has permitted it to break from moorings. Principally, how- ever, the animal is noteworthy by reason of a recent adventure in which three co- eds who study 'in the State University were involved. ° Itisa custom of cow owners to permit their animals to graze over unfenced tracts, and Assayer Park’s cow enjoys this privi- lege with the rest. One day very lately the three co-eds alluded toin the foregoing were climbing toward the hills upon which a view of a large, varied and interesting panorama is disclosed, the elevating effect of which may be to refine equally with the scholastic exercises conducted in the State’s institution of learning. The calm end fragrant air was suddenly assailed by one piercing scream, which was closely followed up'by two others, equally pierc- mg. No wonder, for crossing the path, through the high grass, in horrid con- volutions and loovs, sped a serpent of indeterminate length, with great velocity and uttering a hissing sound. At least fifteen feet were in view, and the head and tail of the dreadful object were concealed. The twilight added to the effect. All at once, however, a stout male voice was raised in protest. ‘“Whoa,” it said, “whosa there, Pluto!” . The girls were angry at each other. The serpent was only a half-concealed tether- rope, which the cow was drawing after it around the corner of a fence at railroad speed. The cow was caught some blocks away and the girls had time to recover their composure before they retraced their steps. Photographing and . Jeeth-Pulling As odd business partnership as ever imagined or described by Charles Dickens exists on Sacramento street, above Du- pont. The parties to this business con- nection are a Chinese photographer and a Japanese dentist. They jointly occupy four small rooms on a second floor, which may be described as tooth carpentry, waiting-room, developing-room and. gal- lery. Thedentist helps the photographer by complimenting them on their improved appearance since their teeth have been fixed and the artist tells his subjects that they wounld look better with store teeth. In addition- to this the pho- tographer malléts in the filling to mncisors and bicuspids, and the dentist does an occaslonal turn at photograpby. Their ‘patrons are Japanese and Chinese. The two craftsmen appear to be growing rich, as they ought to be, by reason of em- bracing the ambidexterity of a Yankee, with the craft of Machiavelli, i On Market Street The Self-Gonscious Dignity of Gaucasian Finery on Mon- golian Pates At different times yesterday afternoon there passed along Market street a China- man wearing a shiny *‘plug’” hat and a Chinese - woman wearing a white chip or straw hat, which was ornamented gaudily with a flaring red ribbon. Both were self-conscious t9p a degree. The man carried his tile with the jaunty air ‘of a Chinese nabob intent upon cutting a very wide swath and coming as near as possible to getting into the local “four hundred.” The woman with the chip hat seemed op- pressed with the Cautasian finery which sat upon her shiny black coiffure, but she was equally determined to be fin de siecle and to keep up with the seasonable style, and so she shuffled up the sheet with_ the airs of a martyr and a fashion guide jointly carried. The globe-trotter with his helmet, the Eastern tourist with his mis- ‘fit and altogether absurd sombrero, the local sport with his striped .and vizored clotk cap, in view of this odd Mongolian freakage, were ineffectual. The crowd locked at them coldly and superciliously, irat all, for there were greater and more original attractions in view, and second- class freaks had no show at all. Nothing short of a cocked hat with snow white plume would have been observed then. L e DL |Gorgeously Draped Chinese Students A part of the local passing show is the spectacular departure of silken garmented Chinese from the City’s portals in large parties. The passengers on the local fer- ries see them flutter by, gayly lined and glistening as summer butterflies, the brisk west wind distending their purple, pink, sky-blue, maroon and other hued draveries, and then they are gone. They may be coolies; they may be meérchants or mer- chants’ sons. Whateverclass claims them, they put on their best attire in coming before the public on gala occasions as de- votedly as- the country New England matron dons her “Sunday clothes” when she expects company for tea. Of all the Mongolian coteries known to have crossed the bar lately en route for the East, the gayest went away only a few days since. There were thirty-two chil- dren, the youngest 10, and the oldest 14 to 15 years old. They were reputed to be the sons’ of. merchants, who came to the | United States to be educated, and thewr destination was New . York, where they will be placed in charge of a‘ Presbyterian mission. The smallest boys were in front of the procession, which : marched om board of the Piedmont two by two, and they were so graduated that they ascended like a flight of stairs to -the two seniors who brought up the rear, aglow with enough Chinese finery to make a Fourth of July pyrotechnic show seem ‘pale by comparison. There was nothing in their faces to attract especial attention. Their features were no more refined than are those of the ‘lads = who are customarily seen playing about China- town in this City and their eyes had not the wide-awake expression of the boys who have come in gontact from childhood wita Americans. Their faces were grave and composed, without a smile, and the owners seemeéd to be impressed with the importance of dienity. Touyrists and globe-trotters looked at them and said “How cute.” They sat still on the boat in their figured silks of many colors until Oakland mole was reached. Then they were marched gravely ashore 1n the same order, the little fellows ahead, and de- parted eastward in care of a white man on a special car. Bloundell—Burdick seems to be &changed man since he got his bicycle. Benson—Yes; his nose points around the cor- ner instead of straight ghead, asit used to, and they say he has one glass eye.—Cleveland Leader,