The Paducah Daily Sun Newspaper, April 25, 1898, Page 3

ALL-THE ITLES NORTH NORTH-EAST ND NORTHWEST tE BEST REACHED THE [vansileTotreauteRR 2THROUGH TYROUGH SLEE VESTIBULED ff vst ALE ie Tansy Beam CAS on : NEWOR MASAMI see Aba NW OPLEANS FP LJEFFRIES.G.0 n © EVANSVILLE. IND = MASHER ee lilinois Central R. R. ALIFORNIA::: VIA NEW ORLEANS In connection Southern J =" Through Weekly Tourist Sleeping Car Leaving Cin: Central Rai EVERY THURSDAY OF ‘ git * with the and Lowisy fast “New Orlea ary 4, 1808) wi Sunset Limited | Annex ILL INvts CENT “VRAL RAIL ROAD Time Table tu efect Apri LOUISVILLE AND MEMPHIS DIVISION Nourw Hounp— No 22 No BM Leave New Orleans 72) pin #00 am Pi Mt ata I Po Arr Paducar 2(Spm 1 isam ¢o)am Leave Paducah vam Gam v8 m Cinctanatt Sovrw Bounp— Paducah artiv Pultor Memphis artive Jackson, M! Greenville M Vicks) Nater New Orieans Sf. LOUIS DI WORTH BOUND ne Donc Galt House LOUISVILLE. KY. American Plan 83.00 to $5.00 per day, Rooms only $1.00 and upwards, A. van, C.A., Ma. ae 2) THEIR LESS FORTUNATE SISTERS A SURT ROAD TO geauTY | THE MISES BELL'S Complexion Tonk vat in ct In clearing « t H metic i u One BOTTLE costs vou eager a if the effeet is not ¢ n sting pamph! p? of sta } TRE BELL TOILET eo. No. 75 Filth Avenue, New York. — Doctors’ Prescriptions Receive prompt and careful attention by experienced grad- uates in pharmacy when en- trusted to our care. Furthermore, our immense stock enables us to give you just what the doctor orders. Night Calls answered promptly. Bell at the side door on Fifth street. A good story is told on a certain young man who belongs to the Y. M. C. A. Hes also a good church talker, and frequently makes ad- dresses in church, In the Y. M. C. A he represents the state of Tex ‘The Cuban question was being di cossed in congress last Monday when the young man was making @ speech. He warmed up and finally became so enthusiastic that be forgot his sur- roundings, and finally burst forth in an eloquent appeal to “by g. instead of ‘'Mr, OEHLSCHLAEGER & WALKER DRUGGISTS Fifth and Broadway. — | house was brought down by the mis- 5 he laugh DOCILITY OF THE CAMEL. bent ta the laughter lasted for + + + There is a doctor in Paducah who has never used but one kind of pre- scription blanks in twenty-five years. These are white, without a mark of apy kind on them, The dostor in question does not even place bis own name on his blanks, ‘Tbe usual pre~ scription blank contains the name and number of some drug store. The doctor, desiting to give none of them any advantage, however, has always had them blank, Avother peculiari- ty is that in the past twenty years he has always bad one color of bill Said to Be tho Kindest and Most Hu- mane of Animals as in Egypt and the ive a peculiar interest pment. It ving down wan Arab to get » of the desert.” ng animal, in from its driver, end Kalat re is str a came! on | ard the » the | Firs answer { wn on its knees, then legs collapse, and it fin } ride , soft YB ANTATION Written at Random cr t duty as|beads—red. He laughingly says it lle, touches up the patient beast, | means ‘*money or blood.’” He can " r ! If onto #]look through a file of bills a yard L many an unwieldy | thick, and tell bis own at 9 glaace. + d prove enced rider, f ex: in em ck t a Down at Lang's drug store they bave a recruiting station. It is abird It was designed solely for baving fun out of unsolisticated darkeys. They have papers with skulls and cross bones, and foreign words and char- acters, ready to sign, The other day a victim) was steered in, and af- ter an explotation of the great vantages to be derived from enlist- ment, the man was induced to sign his name. Rather he put down bis mark, which did as well. The man went out, well satisfied with himself ‘I for the courage he had displayed on the momentous Occasion. Yesterday morning he called sgain. “Wha's dat gemmen dat I seen in heah yisteday, an’ whut got me tow sign that papali?"” he asked, Dr. ‘Tank’? Labg presented bims ont for identification. boss,’’ began the man, *I— 1 wants tow tek my name offen dat t’ing.’” “Hut you can’t do it’? answered Dr. Lang. ‘It's already sent to the governor."” But b—b—bb—but 1 didn’t know whut I was signin’, boss I sho’ didn’t, sah, Map, I d—d—d—do —Jon—Jon—don’t wants tow fite. Leayn’t fight, dat’sdetrat. I hain’t got nuffin agin dem Spania’d wear muz- leada te y to pre- bs.—Lon \ | °| | THE | He Is the Mighty Mag in Both Defense Dey's gooul peeple so fa" as E knows “Well, you'll have to go anyhow,"’ the doctor informed him. “They'll call you sooner or late “B—b—b—bu—bu—but — dey’s gaine tow call de ones whut signed fust, boss !"’ was the objection. ‘The man left perfectly convinced that he is tobe called out at any the | time. ENGINEER IN WARFARE. and Offense, ee ae ‘There is a colored man who cleans up the offices on legal row, known to all the lawyers as ‘Tom." Tom's most ardent desire is to keep out of the army, He has a most harrowing horror of the army, and the other day approached Judge Campbell aad asked him what to do in the premises. “You might get up a petition signed by your white friends and send it to McKinley, asking that you be excused from service,’’ suggested the judge. ‘Tom thanked him for his advice, *}and at once set about getting the pe- tition drawn properly. It was draft- ed and Tom has since been assidu- ously engaged in securing signatures to it. He went to Justice Winches- ter first, and presented the petition of a similar trans tohim, The justice, who was into the joke, hesitated a moment, and then said; **Why I can’t sign that. evices struction aN You ought to go to war. This is | the existing battleships and fortitica- |] McKinley's war and you are a Mc- lt soon be relegated to ol | Kinley man. v nstances of most re ‘Fo’ God L baint,"’ protested the demonstrate] ave darkey L guess you'd just as well stop warsh \ h thesingle| ng to get signers to that. We t the Victoria to the bottom ]can’t save you.”” And the jolly jus- Mediterranean, the other the|tice was chuckling to himself over the factotum’'s discomfiture. Tom looked downhearte 1, and was just about to give up in despair when justice said; ‘+Well, you're a pretty good negro, and we need you to clean up for us. I guess I'll sign it for you."? And he did, the dar- key beaming with satisfaction. explosion ine in Havana vis fatal » armored knight of medi vulnerable because of ex and clumsiness, a fair kill of the engineer, who force and motion and ombine can ¢ substitute rapidity for massivencss] The petition is mow about com- | and secreey for sirength,—Engineer- | plete, and has a large number of ing World. signers to it. When Tom gets enough, Judge Campbell will send’ it to McKinley, and it will no doubt occasion at least some litle amuse- ment in the war department at Wash- ington, Slot Machine for Selling Gas. A thousand slot machines for sell- is have been placed in use in uarter dropped in. se ery of 250 feet of gt t a room for 50 hours, eve! These ma- anew s of consumer, rey furnish is nearly as amp. ‘The e put in the room or apart- ln soparate family, and at- r with them hae: chines ree ar 1th m so sorry the government bas women decided not to have any nurses in the army. lady was yesterday be: when she finished reading the papers. inquired a friend. ing as a wet purse for the Padu- on about 200,000} cah company,” was the rejoinder. n-the-slot gas machines for Pa a ing have been called ; pend popkiig have deen al) Master Johnnie bad been to base in small houses and apartments eerenteniel ball games, circuses, and such | Not So Prosperous. things, and had fully learned to ap- preciate the value of a front seat, The other day he became interested Krown—Glad to hear, old boy, that ee ae & large Hance dig the war, and after the remainder PPeH Ee say to tell you that itia of the family bad fully discussed the esta Jody, situation, he remarked ima, is war nic t yery, Jobnnie, was the re~ To Cure Constipation Forev: Cascarots Candy Cathartic, We or tse. 4+ . fail Lo cure, druggists refund money. ‘d like to get a good front seat use I was thinking of voluo-| | — <= pea 80 I could see it good, anyhow,”’ he amused them all by saying in returo. ee te ae A good joke is told on a well known Paducah gentleman, who re- cently was heard in a public speech to pronounce ‘‘franchise’’ ‘‘fran- cheese.’’ Tue mayor decided the pro- nunciation was incorrect, while City Attorney Lightfoot contended that it was right. The city hall oMficials tock sides, and a Webster was brought out to settle the dispute. The word was found to be pronounced “‘franehiss,’’ with the accent on the first syllable. “When the gentkmen who had called it ‘francheese’’ was next seen, he was jokingly informed by the mayor that his propunciation was incorrect. Explanations followed. ‘Are you certain ?'’ asked the gen- tleman, with unfeigned interest. ‘Perfectly so,’’ was the reply. “Well, I'm ruined, then’? wag the rejoinder. ‘I've called that ‘fran- cheese’ before some of the most cul- tured men in the country.’ ee oe | Yesterday a family on the North Side anticipated diuner with more than usual felicity, for on the menu was ice cream—a delicacy not very popular except in warm weather. When dinuer time arrived the daugh- ter was allowed to ‘‘turn the freezer.’’ She was toll that it would require about fifteen minutes to freeze the cream, and after she had laboriously ground away at the machize for twen- ty minutes, she thought it was time the cream was freezing. But it was not yet frozen. The mother poured salt on the ice, and with this added improvement, another fifteen minutes were consuuied ia a futile effort to freeze the cream. More salt was ap- plied, and the father volunteered to try bis band. He turned away until nearly 1 o'clock, and still the stuff wouldn't congeal. It was then that the lady of the house bethought her- self of tasting the salt. She had poured the entire sack into the freezer, and thought it funny that none of it seemed to melt very fast. So she tasted it, and found that she had wasted fifty cents worth of sugar in an unsuccessful effort to freeze the cream. eet Fy The following story will be appre- ciated by poker players. A Sunday or two ago a certain young man went to church with his best girl. He was nota regular attendant, and did not expect the inevitable contribution box until it was almost in front of bim. Instinctively he reached into his pocket, but, presumably, he felt no coin of the desired denomination, as moved to another pocket with the same success. The gentleman with the box had by this time stopped, and the young man was getting em- baressed. Finally, after the atten- tion of everybody around hed been attracted to him, he looked up at the man with the box and having been able to find @ dime, unconsciously murmured. **I pass.’’ ae dam | A young man in the Tenth grade of the high school came home the other day, and asked his mother what a ‘‘battalation’’ was. He had been reading of battalions all his life, and had never known one as anything except a ‘‘battalation.’’ A HOUSEHOLD REMEDY. And it never fails to cure Rheu- matism, Catarrh, Pimples, Blotches, and all diseases arising from impure blood, is Botanic Blood Balm. (B. B. B.) ‘Thousands endorse it as the best remedy ever offered to mankind, The thousands of cures performed by this remedy are almost miraculous, Try it, only $1 per large bottle. A VHYSICIAN’S EVIDENCE—AN HONEST pocror. Although a practitioner of near twenty years, my mother influenced me to procure Botanic Blood Balm, B. B. B., forher, She had been confined to her bed several months with Rheumatism, which had stubbornly resisted all the usual remedies. Within twenty-four bours after commencing B. B. »., I ob- served marked relief. She has just commenced her third bottle, and is nearly as active as ever, and bas been in the frout yard with'‘rake in hand,” cleaning up. Her improvement is traly wonderful and immense'y grati- fying. C. H, Mostcomery, M.D., Jacksonville, Ala. For sale by Druggists. How's This? We offer one hundred dollars reward ffor any case of catarrh that cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. F. J, CHENEY & CU.,, Toledo, 0. We, the undersigned, bay own I", J. Cheney for the la believe bim perfectly hot ng made by thetr frm, TRUAX, Wholesale Druggtsts, To taken Jaternally, act- biood and mucous sur- Testimorials sent free So.d by all druggists, br Hall's Pamuy Pills are the best, STORY OF CUBA. Agents wanted in every city, town or village to sell the latest edition of Halstead’s STORY OF CUBA, full account destruction BATTLESHIP MAINE, Greatest demand ever known for a subseription book, Agents coining money. Handsome outfit free. Send 25c, for postage. Don't miss it. Address subscription department, Tux Wexnee Comvany, 16 a 14 Akron, Ohio, COLORED DEPARTMENT. ® Misses Georgia Duly, Bettie Rob- inson, Mrs, Garrett and Mr. E. HW, Province have returned from the Sunday school convention, Some of the more neryous of our people ro doubt gave a sigh of reliet on learning that in a certain call for volunteers the colored brother need not apply. The local demonstrations of pa- triotism have a significance beyond the mere martial display of the mo- ment. It goes to show that in any cause in which the interests of our common country is involved, its peo- ple are not slow to recognize her needs; and with a spirit born of the true American, and with the theory of preparation as opposed to inspira- tion in view, is ever ready to protect and defend our government Don’t become so much excited over the war that you will neglect your business, Keep your head on. {t will hardly help your case any to lose it, Talking over war will not raise a crop of corn, wheat, tobacco, potatoes or anything else. It will not run the shops, the trades, or help makeahwving. It will not buy a pork chop or a cup of coffee, While our armies are fighting our battles, would it not be a good idea for us to con- tinue to attend to our duties, Our whooping and yelling will by no means scare the Spaniards out of Cuba, It will take shooting and lots of it. It is not the wagon that makes the most noise that has the largest luad, neither is it the fellow who yells the loudest for war that will be the first among the volunteers to enlist. Those people who were thirsting so mach for human blood last winter, now have an opportunity to quench | ems their thirst by bleeding the merciless Dons. The Ninth regiment of colored in fantry is the fightingest regiment iu the United States. They have fought the Indians for many years and is re- garded by military officials 9s the crack regiment. The Charitable Bible band will meet tomorrow evening at their ball cotver Fighth and Adams street Members expected to be present. Mrs. Dr. Manning left Saturday on a short visit to Princeton. Mr. Allen Johnson, an employe of the Langstaff-Orm Manufacturing Co., had the misfortune to get one of his fingers mashed off last week. Rev. W. T. Silvey has been called to the pastorate of the Baptist church at Earlington, Ky., Rev. Wm, Foster resigned, When people are patient it is be- cause they have found out that they had to be. Everyone kicks until satisfied that that which he is kicking against is harder than patience. MEETING AT BURKS’ CHAPEL, The meeting at the A. M. Ey church is doing a great work, Yes- terday was a great day at that house of worship, and was crowded all day with devout worshipers, Every ser- vice some one is saved and added to the church, From the Saturday evening ser »recious souls were happily converted and twelve accessions made to the chureh, Up to the present they have had forty-five conversions, sixty added to the church and sixty eeek- ers, M. RESOLUTIONS. Resolutions of in memory of Sam- uel Henderson, Jr. Lincoln school, sixth grade. When the sad news of the death of the of Samuel Henderson, Jr, was announced it found many of his friends unprepared, though forewarn- ed of the coming event. He was the son of Mr, Samuel Henderson, Sr., and Mrs. Harrette Henderson, He was a kind and affectionate son, was well thought of by all who knew him, Whereas, God, in His alwise Prov- idence, bas seen fit to call him from our midst to dwell with Him In Heay- en, Samuel, our dear friend and as- sociate class-mate, has been a mem ber of our grade several years. He was kind and cbeerful and always seemed glad to see us when we called to see him, Therefore, be it Resolved, That we tender the grief stricken family our sincerest syinpa thy, and beseech the Heavenly Father heavy weight of sorrow, knowing that He doeth all things well. ‘That a copy of these resolutions be presented to the family. Julia Roberts, Mary Clark, Georgia Jones, Mittie Grundy, U.S. Kio |, Geo, W. ‘Tanner, Jr., Robert Vatterson, 1. Nuckalls, Mamie Brooks, Committee. To Be Happy or cheerful or useful is oext to an impossibility when one is suffering from a discomforting cold or a nasty little cough. If you are ‘dowa in the mouth’’ from the effects of a cough or acold, you will find your dehght io the use of bottle of Dr. Bell’s Pine ‘Tar hooey, Drug: gists sell it. Wood. Telephone No. 29 for a nice two horse load delivered promptly. Price, $1 cash, Ohio River Spoke and Rim Co, E Bell, ul. Connoisseur's delight-—~Lionwood Cigar. u vice to the close last evening ten], |! Cuil CURE is Guaranteed. ® CALIFORNIA! —VviA— The Southern Route The Iron Mountain Route, Texas and Pacific and Southern Pacific Railways TAKE THE rant SUNSET » LIMITED withont an equal. Leaves 1s 10:20 p, ms, Tuesdays and ays, Only SIXTY HOURS TO LOS ANGELES| ‘Through the Sunny South to sunny Hornia Write 1 descriptive Itter: Ger Passenger and Ticket Agent St Mo BROADWAY HOUSE. Best hotel in the city, Best accommodation: MEALS 25c—$1.00 Corner Broad J.J. Meavows, Propr. Established 1855. Incorporated 1883. Johnson . Foundry and Machine,, Company Steam_tngines, Boilers; House Fronts, Mill Maciinery And Tobacco} Screws. Brass and Iron Fittings, Castings of allgkinds, PADUCAH, K J, W, Moore, DEALER IN Staple and Fancy Groceries, Canned Goods of All Kinds, free delivery to all parts of the city, Cor, 7th and Adams, GREIF & CHRISTY First-class... Horseshoeing and Blacksmithing ‘The only place in the city equipped with the necessary tools to do first- class carnage and wagon work, Building new work a specialty. 319 COURT STR Soh BLOOD POISON | A SPECIALTY ritary 1.00% Primary, Secondary or POISON perma CURE IN 15 TO 35 YS eated at home f ssuaral CBHOK'REMEDY CO. U.S. GANSTER Notarv Public AND SOLICITOR OF PENSION CLAIMS attention given Prompt and thoroug! to all cases, Vouchers f pensions ca refully atiended to. to assist them to bear up uuder the Love, 714 South Third street, Brinton B. Davis, AROHITsOr Offive Am .-German Nat. Bank. The Chance for Some Man. Livery once in awhile some public 1 endows some cx terest tobe and jiterary people, what a man could make by prize to the student who ref write ay, or get uy Atchison Globe Kites for Weath: cr Signals. signal ot vanche tance. If it fails to cure go to your merchant AND GET YOUR MONEY BACK. We will refund to him. Price 50 cts. VAN VLEET-MANSFIELD DRUG CO., Sole Proprietors, MEMPHIS, TENN. CUT. E. HALE IN TWO Wall Paper, perroll.............006 Fifty-cent Window Shades fox.......... Hand-made shades in an paper hangin Fine siae.| Picture frames made to order. done in any part of the county by "6.6. LEB Look for the NOR rn " STRE s Sign when you get on Fourth street The Skeleton in Most Houses Is bad plumbing. It’s out of sight, ite defects are sometimes unsuspected, but it is none the less a constant menace to the health. When we do plumbing it is well done—it is as near perfection as human skill can bring it. It stays done, too—it isn't constantly getting out of order, Safety and economy both urge you to come to us, ED D. HANNAN, 152 Sout Fourth St SCIENTIFIC AND FIRST-CLASS BLACKSMITHING «| REPAIRING be HORSESHOEING “Tthey need quarterly payment of All work guaranteed. Telephone 118. Cor. oth and Trimble. A; Wo ORE, eas 1S THE RECORD complete and up-to-date. Splendid line fresh and salt u P. F. LALLY. Ball Bearing The '98 mode: ot the New Densmore isjball Court Street bet. 2d and 3d WE MAKE. e" stock of staple and fancy groceries is of canned good Our meat market is unexcelled, ha everything in the line of WHAT? Typewriter YES bearing in all. See sample with ©. B. STARKS, Agent for i smore, Yost one Caligraph a Typewriters. Supplies for standard machines. Wall Pecceating Is our t light orating will b rate a fe out of t a wall in Bare walls denot or little con But your youknowag right and you see it Ww 8. GREIF. ES OR ¥ a “OBERTS BEER the pec It leads all reason thi favorite of this city Is rapidly becoming tl the it is others, f ABSOLUTELY PURE HANDLED IN BOTTLES AND BY THK KEG BY PADUC All BOTTLING CO. Tenth and Madison streets Orders tiled until 1) pw ESTABLISHED 1864.———-9 Miss Mary 8. f. Greif & Co GENERAL IN ANCK AGENTS. 3 PADUCAH, TH) JHN KY