Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, November 19, 1916, Page 16

J - | S THE OMAHA SUNDAY BEE FOUNDED BY EDWARD ROSEWATER A szl e il VICTOR ROSEWATER, EDKTORJ,T B THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPANY, vm::;,s R Entered at Omaha postoffice as second-class matter. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. z By Carrier By Mail Daily and Sunday. . Daily without Sunda Evening and Sunday. ity it Dally 'and Sunday Bee, three years in sdvance, §10.00. Scn!mfiu of change of address or irregularity in de- livery to Omaha Bee, Circulation Department. REMITT.:NSE- Only 2-cent stamps Remit b; 1 ress or order. Only 2-e '-Ik(’l: ll{dp'.‘ ::nxr of lm:l’l‘ accounts. Personal ehecks, except on Omaha and eastern exchange, not accep! OFFICES. Omaha—The Bee Building. South Omaha-—2318 N street, Council Bluffs—14 North Main street. cflun—l:’! e, Gan Builds 18 People’s Gas Buildin, New York—Room 803, 28¢ Fifth avenue. St. Louis—503 New Bank of Commerce. Washington—726 Fourteenth street, N. W CORRESPONDENCE. Address communications relating to news and editorial matter to Omaha Bee, Editorial Department. OCTOBER CIRCULATION 53,818 Daily—Sunday 50,252 Dwight Willisms, circulation manager of The Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn, says that the average circulation for the month of October, 1918, was 53,818 daily, and 50,252 Bundas; BWIGHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager. !Ilbltflb!d“; my &meln"lo. and sworn to before me this b day of Novemere 1 GARLSON, Notary Public. The open door in China is fairly safe so long as borrowed money rolls i Cheer up! The rising cost of fiving beats in vain against the volume and vigor of the foot ball rooter, ——— The high cost of building seems to be no check to Omaha's every-little-while acquisition of an- other costly ligh building. — The flock of turkey birds headed for the White House in no manner. shadows the radiant joy ‘of a pie counter feast., ! pese——— Peace leagues and peace talk attract attention here and there, but artillery holds the center of the stage as the big noise-maker. — Food prices are going skyward but there are no signs of the sheriff throwing up his jail-feeding contract for having become profitless, ——— Peddling false rumors about democratic office- holders resigning should be made punishdble by law as a misdemeanor, if not as a felony. e — With the ice broken by a woman member of congress, what is there to stop President Wilson from' having a woman member of his cabinet? Now, ladies, don't all speak at once! Mr Bryan still insists that the democratic party's chiefest weakness lies in lack of publicity mediums. He evidently does not count either of Nebraska's self-styled “great democratic dailies.” - ———— The Polish kingdom proposition. carries the fundamental condition that the natives must fight for jt. As thingg go in Europe these dayy the price of living is fighting for it; and living on ¢ Me terms is mighty uncertai : ——— 2 Snppou‘,'cu,mum akers succeeded in plac- it embargo on exports of grain. < Fix thdt supposition firmly in mind, then infagine what would happen to the master bakers when the farmers and elevator men cut loose. < — - The Chicago Tribune editor remonstrates with ~ The Bee for referring to that paper as a “new rectuit in the short ballot movement.” We apolo- ‘gize. Recruit or charter member, the Tribune is landing some of the hardest cuts on the long ballot. Tl . Farm machinery, binding twine and laundry rub elbows with bread, potatoes, coal and 'iath_er on the price escalator. Some day the boosting machinery will éncounter the remorse- less hammer of the victim and the bargain coun- ter come uz its own. 5 ,Owh to the press of more important mat- ter the election of president in Cuba escaped notice: This in itself measures great progress. A general election in Cuba without enough shoot- ing to be.heard across the straits.adds new luster to the gem of the Antilles, ¥ e— “Stop, look, listen,” the revered safety motto, 18, fittingly emphasized by the state supreme court in‘a:case involving personal injury damages grow- ing out of speeding over railroad crossings. The | poitit which' penetrates the windshields is that ~ careless drivers may not capitalize their reckless- n\en in bucking a locomotive : The Expanded Dry Belt. The wet and dry war map of the United States, recast on November 7, presents a unique study . in politico-social phenomena. For the first time sincé the dry drive began the country has been cut in two and the line of cleavage is clearly marked by white ribbon states, the line bears a distant resemblance to a huge water dipper, its curved handle resting on Puget sound, its heel at the Gulf and the tip of the bowl at Chesapeake bay. Strategy in thus dividing the wets is evident in the fact that the dry states, with three excep- tions, are welded together against the licensed . saloon. Maine, Michigan and Arizona are some- what isolated, but so situated as to serve as a basis for flank attacks on the enemy. The capture of Nebraska was essential to the union of the parts and explains in some measure the fierceness of attack and defense. It was the chief connecting link between the wet sections of the northeast and southwest and stood as an oasis in the center of conyerging dry territory. With Nebraska forcibly torn from its ancient moorings. the dry traveler may route his water wagon from the shores of the Pacific in Washing- ton or Oregon east through Idaho and Montana, _Oklahoma, east through Arkansas, Mississippi, . Alabama and Georgia, and. northeast through ‘ennessec, the Carolinas and the Virginias, with- | out once -touching territory profaned by the ensed’ rum demon. the'. It was said of General Phil Sheridan after he wept through Shenandoah valley ‘he left the “egion so clean of life-sustaining food that a crow Ayig over it had to carry its own rations. In fl&gm’ahqf a wet’ essaying flight over the ex- Ary. belt ‘must carry his ‘liquid rations /i liis, grip, unless he has friends at cach supply to “put him wise." - 3 south through the Dakotas, Nebraska, Kansas and . Is Universal Peace a Dream? A contribution to one of the current maga- zines upon “The Dream of Universal Peace"” car- ries in its very caption a gentle suggestion that universal peace is nothing but a dream. By any definition, a dream is merely a vision and, at that, a vision which is unreal; and we must all admit that up to the present moment, the idea of uni- versal peace has always been and still is a figment of the imagination—fiction rather than fact. Universal peace presupposes ecither extin- guishment of the incentive for men to make war upon one another, or incapacity to fight or sub- stitution of peaceful means of settling interna- tional differences. Attainment of the first con- dition is certainly remote, for it is nothing short of the uninterrupted reign of brotherly love. The second condition is embodied in no practicable proposal except that of mutual disarmament and this would have to be concomitant with the third suggestion of the establishment of a world court whose decree would be accepted through the very futility of resistance. Whether plans for providing this machinery of peace mature fast or slow, the dream, in the sense that it is a wish and something to be strived for—a goal which we may approach even though we may never reach it—will persist and grow stronger in its inspiration. Paradoxically, the intangible dream of universal peace is the one thing all nations are willing to fight for. . —— Little Acts That Make Up Life. One of The Bee's reporters recounts in his own way several of the little acts of kindness that fell under his notice, deeds of the sort that go unheeded as a rule, but which serve in themselves to meet the cynicism of those whose selfishness leads them to think the world has in it nothing but coldness and gloom. The truth is just the opposite; the world is full of kindness, of thought- ful care for the weak and helpless, and of com- passion for those who are unfortunate. Life is full of little things that in themselves. do not amount to much, but in the aggregate pile up a splendid record to man’s response to the impulse to help. Ambitious efforts are constantly being made for the amelioration of the race, and are widely commented on, but it is the unnumbered deeds of kindness, the unrecorded charities and the simple courtesies that vaunt not themselves that really smooth the way and more and more tnake bright the path, along which man must tread, and which would be terribly lonesome did everyone walk by himself with no account of the marcher by his side. Great deeds will find the doer out, but it is the little things that make up life, and the observant scribe has noted that these trifies show man's natural bent to good. Emig The Salvation Army is carfying on an ex- tensive campalgn in London, raising funds to assist war victims to migrate to some of the oversea partions of the British empire. This is quite likely to lead to a further test of the bonds that bind the colonies to the mother country, In- dia is, of course, out of the question, for there ithe conditions of poverty are so much worse than those of England that no comparison can be safely made. Caneda, Australia, New Zealand and South Africa remain, but these are new coun- tries, eager for the advent of vigerous and ‘ener- getic settlers, whose present people will surely re- sent being treated as hasts to the “down and out” from England. Indeed, only a few years ago, protested «in such an emphatic manner against the practice that the Salvation Army was compelled to desist from “assisting” emigrants from London to the Dominion. Canada has also excluded the Hindu, despite the fact that he is a fellow under the flag on which the sun never set® Australia has also put up the bar against the Hindu, and South Africa admits him only in limited numbers and under conditions against which even the submerged lower caste of India has rebelled. Moreover, each of the colonies has contributed quite liberally of its manhood to the cost of war in flesh and bloed, and will have its own fair quota of disabled to care for when peace is declared. Signs all support the thought that the Salvation Army -vill find its proposal but' little more welcome after the war ‘than it was before, and England, like the other countries, will be forced to make provision at home for the ,wreckage of battle, mem——— Why Not Everybody Vote by Mail? . This dught to be a good time to take up again the proposal, suggested by the editor of The Bee and later by William Jennings Bryan, by which the ballots for our elections could be distributed and collected by mail and the voter permitted to mark his ballot at home, taking 'his time for deliberate and intelligent choice. We now use the mails for all sorts of public functions almost as important as voting. "We summon jurors, challenge registration and serve numerous notices in this way. The mechanical part of it, a device insuring the integrity of the ballot and at the same time verifying the iden- tity of the voter by his signature, as now, yet saving him the necessity of going to a voting place, is wholly feasible, True, there might' still be loopholes for corruption or intimidation, but no more so than under the present system of voting and the penalties for violating the sanctity of the ballot could be made at least as effective for a vote-at-home method as now for the cumbersome voting-booth 'system. Neither could the question of comparative expense be serious, though, even if the proposed arrangement cost more, it would be worth the money, and much more, if it rendered it possi- yble for every qualified voter to take part in the election ‘and made the choice the real verdict of all the people. Getting Back at the Farmer, Two-dollar wheat, dollar corn and ten-dollar hogs have set the western farmer on a high ped- estal of prosperity, from which he is to be thrown down by the farm machinery makers. Notice has already come from the producers of tractors and the like that the buyer of their wares must be pre- pared to pay more for them next season than ever he did. This is either the completion of the vicious circle, or the working of compensation, just as you care to look at it, but it carries nothing of consolation: to the ultimate consumer, out of whose pocket must come the increase, no matter by whom the tax is levied. The “unexampled prosperity” seems now likely to take on the form of a disturbance in price balance which will not again be brought to an equilibrium until some- body ‘has paid well for the spree started when Europe began to bid fancy figures for war sup- plies. The farmer, being primarily a producer, will be present when the settlement is eventually made. ITH THE DEATH of Mrs. Manderson there is none left among. us to represent one of Omaha's most distinguished pioneer families. At the funeral my thoughts went back to the days when the Mandersons were in the spotlight in Washington, for no one from Nebraska ever wielded more influence in the senate or maintained better the prestige of the position socially than did Senator Manderson with the help of his amiable wife. 1 remember attending one or two of Mrs. Manderson's receptions which were made brilliant by the presence of all the notables of the day then in public life, the general then being president pro tem of the senate as a tribute to his popularity among his colleagues with official precedence over almost everybody outside of the president’s cabinet family. 3 g . The slender thread upon which big things so often hang is illustrated by one of the turning points in General Manderson’s career. Having settled in Canton, Ohio, after the war, he became va candidate in 1866 for the republican congres- sional nomination against the then incumbent. The fight in the convention was extremely close and exciting and after long-continued balloting, some of the ballots being a tie, his competitor won the nomination by one vote. It is safe to say that had the single delegate jarred loose from his mooring been one to come over to Mander- son instead of leaving him, he would have gone to congress from Ohio and wduld never have taken up his residence in Nebraska at all. Without wishing to be brash with the presi- dent of our Nebraska State Historical society, [ have to take exception to the statement given out by my friend John L. Webster, referring to the recent senatorial election, to the effect that “General Charles F. Manderson was the only other senator who won a re-election from this state.” We have had several senators from Nebraska who served more than one term, though perhaps not, strictly speaking, “re-elected.” Alger- non g Paddock, for example, represented Ne- braska in the senate two full terms coverin twelve years, although not consecutively, an William V., Allen, after finishing six years, went back again by appointment to fill a vacancy. One of Nebraska's first two senators, however, Chaplain Thomas W, Tipton, was re-elected. He had been elected, along with General John M. Thayer, at the time Nebraska was admitted to statehood, but had drawn the short term of two years, and when that term was concluded was re-elected for a full term. During the last four years of his senatorial service Tipton was a colleague of the father of our present senator. Senator Tipton was succeeded by Senator Paddock, who again succeeded General Van Wyck, who came after him. Even by the most technical use of the word “re-election,” therefore, the present instance is not the first, but the second in Nebraska's history. While reverting to history, let me make a ref- erence to the revised and enlarged edition of Stanwood's “History of the Presidency,” which appeared from the press of the well-known Hough- ton-Mifflin publishing establishment a few weeks ago and which will well repay perusal by all inter- ested in our political development. Stanwood's book is the standard work on this subject, giving the results of much detailed and painstaking inves- tigation. This new edition is brought up to date by the addition of a chapter covering the 1912 conventions and campaign which, being a review of such recent current-history, naturally chal- lenges special attention. The author captions this chapter, “The Republican Schism,” which empha- sizes the fact that President Wilson's election four years ago was brought about only as a re- sult of republican division. His analysis of the contests which preceded the bull moose bolt, for which justification was sought by charging fraud, leads him to render a verdict against those who made’ this charge. Let me quote” Stanwood’s exact words: “As nearly as can be made out, from the somewhat confused reports, there were in- all 210 nominally contested seats in the full con- vention of 1,078 members, Of the whole num- ber, 108 were abandoned by the contestants and were not even brought before the national committee. All but two of those abandoned contests werk in southern states—twenty-four from Georgia, fourteen from Louisiana, six- teen from Virginia, ten from Florida. The evi- dent purpose was to have as many contests as possible to be ready for contingencies. The committee on credentials pabsed separately upon the remaining 102 contests and made re- ports upon them. No less than sixty-two again were from southern states; as to forty of the whole number there was no minority report; the action of the committee and of the conven- tion was unanimous. That leaves sixty-two as the maximum number upon which a grievance seems possible. The committee on credentials presented statements in detail of the evidence upon which it made its reports upon' those contests. In the cases of thirty-six of them the minority made no contradictory statements, but contented themsclves with protests against cer- tain members of the committee. In none of those cases did they dispute the statement upon which the majority reached its decision but in every one they reported that the con- testant was entitled to the seat. f course that does not make it certain that the state- ments made by the majority members were uniformly true and that the decision was right, but it does create a presumption to that effect. There are now left twenty-six of the total of 210 threatened contests that had substance erough to elicit contradictory statements by the committeemen representing the two candi- dates. Mr. Root had thirty-eight majority over all others in the election of temporary chair- man, If all the twenty-six really contested seats had been awarded to the contestants, Roet would still have been elected.” This covers the crux of the situation that led up to the republican schism in 1912, I give this excerpt as showing\ the deliberate judgment formed long after the heat of the contention by the recognized authority on the history of the «presidency and reached by him after a careful cffort to get at the truth. People and Events Alarm clocks are taking on some of the car shortage scare and going the usual prige route. What next? A Kenosha (Wis.) citizen of Italian vintage hid half a dollar in his mouth. The coin slipped. A doctor recovered the deposit in time to save his life and “pull his leg” for $100. General Jacob S. Coxey of Coxey army fame is numbered among the political lame ducks of Ohio, Jake imagined he was just the right cal- iber for United States senator and hobbled through the race to the finish. Campaign bills for $1,276.27 are his chief reminders of the run. “If Hughes is elected I will marry you right away. If he is defeated we’ll wait.a long, long time.” Such was the verbal bet between Miss Martha C, Hanley and Fred C. Ditmars of Wash- ington. Early Tuesday night Martha cheerfully admitted her loss and proceeded to pay the bet. Subsequent returns did not change the result. Both won. Why bother about varieties of food for jaded tastes? All the dietary people need, if they were wise, is ice cream in copious quantities. An [1li- nois doctor, formerly connected with the State Board of Health, told a gathering of ice cream makers that their product was the real goods. “A healthy workingman,” said the doctor, “needs five pounds of ice cream a day as food. That'll cost 03 cents and give him three square meals.” Now, go to it, ‘cording to Vienna. | the title he has carned and won. THE OMAHA SUNDAY BFE: NOVEMBER 19, 1916. Thought Nugget for the Day. A commonplace life, we say, and we sigh; But should we sigh as we say? The commonplace sun in the monplace sky Makes up the commonplace day. The moon and the stars are common- place things, The flower that blooms and the bird com- that sings: But sad were the world and dark our lot, If the flowers fajled and the sun shone not, And God, who sees each separate soul, Out_of commonplace lives makes his beautiful whole. Susan Coolidge One Year Ago Today in the War, “Peaceful blockade" of Greece pro- claimed by Allies. Earl Kitchener conferred with Gen- eral Serrail at Salonica. German aeroplanes bombarded Brit- ish encampment in Belgium. Italians broke into Austrian lines on Isonzo front, but were ejected, ac- Four-fifths of Serbia, according to estimate, occupied by the invading armies of Austria, Germany and Bul- garia In Omaha Thirty Years Ago. Mrs. Buclid Martin, a talented ama- teur, is painting showery weather. Mrs. Patrick treated a aumber of her lady acquaintances to a sleigh ride. South Omaha is to have a bank of Stock has been taken by a of well known capitalists, its own. number among whom are the following: Wil- ljam A. Paxton, John A, Creighton, P. E. Iler, John McShane and Herman Kountze. The new bank will be known as the Union Stock Yards bank of South Omaha. The new Philemon club gave itg second party and among those present were Misses Mary Beckman, Dora Beckman, Beindorff; Mesdames Tan- ner and Stewart and Messrs. Lydick, Wakefleld, Crane, Connell, Beindorff, I'rye and Tanner. Frank J. Lange was married to Miss Jeannette Gerner, a highly esteemed young lady of Council Bluffs. Mr. Lange is in the employ of the Omaha Savings bank. The trustees of South Omaha have fixed the license of the saloons there at $600 each per year. The saloon men are also required to give a $5,000 bond to comply with the requirements of the terms of their license. Secretary Nattinger has received a letter from a gentleman in Illinois who wants (o purchase two carlvads of Nebraska corn for seed. This Day in History. 1794—Conclusion of Jay's treaty fix- ing the eastern boundary of the United States and calling for the sur- render of Detroit and other western posts, held by the British. 1831—James A. Garfield, .twentiéth president of the United States, born in Cuyahoga county, O. Died at El- beron, N. J., S8eptémber 19, 1881, 1861—Town of Warsaw, Mo, de- stroyed by the confederates. 1884—The blockade of Norfolk and Pensacola was raised by proclamation of President Lincoln. 1874—National. Woman's Christian Temperance union organized at Cleve- land. 1889—The first state legislature of North Dakota met at Bismarck. 1891—Willlam J. Florence, cele- brated actor, died in Philadelphia. Born in Albany, N. Y., July 26, 1831. 1893—Trainmen of the Lehigh Val- ley Railroad went on strike. 1898—Don Carlos Buell, noted union commander in the civil war, died at Rockport, Ky. Born near Marietta, O., March 23, 1818, 1903—The house of representatives passed the Cuban reciprocity bill. 1904—8tatue of Frederick the Great, presented to the United States by Em- peror William, unveiled at the Army War college in Washington. The Day We Celebrate. Rev. William A. Sunday, better known as “Billy"” Sunday, the evange- list, was born November 19, 1863, at Ames, Ta. Tt's only a year since he conducted his revival in Omaha and celebrated his last birthday here. Hugh Cutler, paying teller at the United States National bank, is 30 years old today. He was born at Rapid City, 8. D., and has been with the bank for five years. Thomas R. Porter, manager Press News association, is 47 years old to- day. He furnishes Omaha news stories to western papers. Robinson M. Switzler is an Omaha boy celebrating his thirty-first birth- day. He is associated with his father in practicing law. Brigadier General Robert K. Evans, U. 8. A, retired, born at Jackson, Miss., sixty-four years ago today. Gabriel Hanotaux, the celebrated French statesman and publicist, born sixty-three years ago today Margaret Mayo, author of a num- ber of successful plays, born in Illinois, thirty-four years ago today. George W. Hinman, president of Marietta college, born at Mount Mor- ris, N. Y, fifty-three years ago today. Jose R. Capablanca, world-famous chess expert, born in Havana, Cuba, thirty-three years ago today. Everett Scott, shortstop of the Bos- ton American league base ball team, born at Bluffton, Ind., twenty-four years ago today. Storyette of the Day. One of the latest stories in regard to the “gentleman ranker" in the Krit- sh army is reported by the London Tatler. An officer who superintended the receipt of a large and varied stock of stores felt the need of a clerk, ano told the sergeant-major to hunt up one from among the men. The ser- geant-major could not find a ‘man who “pleaded guilty” to being a clerk, but he eventually fingled out a sober looking private and took him before the officer. ““Are you a clerk?” demanded the captain, “No, sir,” replied the man. “Do you know anything about fig- ures?” asked the captain sourly. “l can do a bit,” replied the man modestly. “A bit!" snarled the officer. “Is this the best man you can find?" said he to the sergeant-major. “Yes, sir,” said that worthy “Well,” * growled the captain, *“I suppose I'll have to put up with him!" Turning to the private he snapped, “What were you In elvilian life?" “‘Professor of mathematics at —— college, sir,"” was the reply. Boston Transeript: The political pres of Woodrow Wilson, however, exce explains his political achievement, master, politician of the! White House’ From first to last he has appealed to the soft side of the. American people, and upon that ap- peal he has cln’l‘d the day CYNICAL REMARKS. Strangely enough, it takes a mighty dull man to be a bore. Money talks, but it doesn't always speak when it is spoken to. When the world owes a man a living he has a life job as a collector. Don’t rest on your laurels unless you are prepared to see them wilt. Give some men a free foot and all they will do with it is kick. Man wants but little Nere below, but he frequently wants a fresh supply of it. Any a man maspires to be a political leader when even his dog won't follow him. There is plenty of room at the top, but you can't make the small potatoes believe it. A woman has no right to question the love of a husband who is willing to wear the neckties she buys him.—New York Times. WOMEN'’S ACTIVITIES. An eight-hour day for men and women and a minimum wage of $5 a day is what Henry Ford is giving in his factories, which is eaid to be the greatest concession of the century to economies. The Women's Educational and Industrial union of Boston has a bookshop for boys and girls, which must be a very delightful sort of shop for both the children and those who have charge of it and one can imagine how interesting it could be made. Women have begun to make records as hunters already this fall, and two Pennsyl- vania women have outbagged the men who accompanied them on shooting expeditions recently. Every year the number of women applying for hunters’ licenses are more numerous. Nora Connolly, daughter of James Con- nolly, the Irish martyr, is in this country, and is telling in a very sympathetic way the atory of the Easter tragedy in Dublin. She says that many Irish women aided the Irish rebellion and carried cartridges from Eng- lund concealed in their hats. Women teachers in Philadelphia maintain that they are entitled to the same pay as the men. Last week they sent to the board of education a determined request for the equalization of wages to begin January 1, 1917. At present teachers get from $40 to $80 less than men doing the same work. A girl at Byrn Mawr, in the freshman class, will inherit a legacy from her grand- father, provided she is able to cook a course dinner for twelve people and then sit down in a gown made by herself, to eat the din- ner. There are four sisters, all of whom must pass the examination between the ages of 17 and 21, AROUND THE CITIES. Helefia, Mont., reports that bread has gone up to 15 cents a loaf. The uplift lends fresh emphasis to the name, A statistical sharp who dotes on grave figures reports that more people are killed by automobiles in Chicago than by Zeppelins in London. As 8 measure of safety the St. Joe judxe\ presiding at the trial of the county prose- cutor on the charge of murder required from attorneys on both sides a pledge against gun plays. Any person found toting a gun into court will be hustled to the outer air. New York City's traffic court pulled down $22,991 in fines during October, besides re- voking three drivers’ licenses and sending twenty-five speed maniacs to prison. The court is steadily speeding up to the law's limit. St. Joe is to give a tryout to an open air school, into which will be gathered the anemic children at other schools. The school superintendent reports 151 children, whose health would be benefited, are available for the test. During October the Interborough Rapid Traneit company of New York carried 68, 580,000 passengers, a 10,000,000 increase over October, last year. The figures support the assertion that Gotham is increasing the pace. Decatur, 1ll., wins a place on the map of. prayerful righteousness. The local foot ball team opens edch serimmage with prayers for vietory. - So far the soulful aspirations of the team pulled down an unbroken score of winnings. Salt Lake City's chief of police announces publicly that bunco men trimmed the citizens for $250,000 during the year and the police couldn’t do a thing beesuse laws are ineffec- tive and the victims wouldn't give them- selves away in court. Back in Paterson, N. J., the boss barbers hit the striking barbers below the belt by turning their shops into open “shave your- self” parlors. Several shops of this kind are in suecessful operation in New York City. Patrons are provided with tools and acces- sories and do the job without assistance, |= The bosses take in more money and pay less. P DOMESTIC PLEASANTRIES. “Now that women are to g0 to congress, things will be in a pretty state.” . “Yes, debates on the fate of the natlon A will have to be kept waiting while a con- grosswoman powders her nose."-—Baltimore American. “I'm sure that grocer of ours gives us short weight,”" sald he. “No, he doesn't,” sald ma. “His scales are rorrect. 1 weighed myself on tkem this morning and they showed that I am ‘wenty pounds lighter than I thought I was."—-De- troit Free Press. —— “My wife won't read any out-of-town pa- pers ‘Why not?" “Every time she picks one up she reads of a perfetcly beautiful house for rent hundreds of miles away.” — Loulsville Courler-Journal. “Bluffem poses as a hustler, doesn't he?" ““Well, yes; he's always energetic in reach- ing a conclusion that something ought to be done."—Boston Transcript. DEAR MR. KABIBMLE , MY WIFE ALWAYS WKES. ME Y NIGMY TO TELL ME SHE HEMRS BURGLARS IN YHE HOUSE, BUY I REFUSE To GETUP-AM 1 DOING RiGHY ? — PRILIP GiRyon YES - BUY DOy BLAVIE YoUR WRZ | |FWBMMWQM YOUR TROUSERS IN THE MORNUG? Stranger—Seventeen years ago T landed here in your town broke. I struck you for a dollar. You gave it to me, saying you never turned a request like that down. Citlzen (eagerly)—Yes? o0 Stranger—Well, are you still game?— Judge. “Yes, 1 am going on the stage.’ “Well, 1 hope you succeed in making a name for yourself.” “That has already been attended to. I picked a beautiful one out of a romantic novel."—Pittsburgh Post. “I hear that you got into trouble by using an anonymous communication in your pa- per," remarked the country-town lawyer, “1 did,” replied the country-town editor. “But I'm carrying a notice in the next issue that hereafter anonymous communtcations will not be published unless the writer's name Is signed.”—Cincinnati Enquirer. THE MOCKING BIRD. Frank L. Stanton in Atlanta Constitution. He didn’t know much music When first he came along; An' all the birds were wonderin® Wiy he didn't sing a song. They primped their feathers in the sun, * An' sung thelr sweetest notes; An’' music jest come on the run From all their putry throats! | But still that bird was silent In summer time an’ fall; He jest set still an’ listened, An' he wouldn't sing at all! But one night when them songsters Was tired out an’ still, An' the wind sighed ‘down the valley An' went creepm’ up the hill; When the 6tars was all a-tremble In the dreamin' fields of blue, An' the daisy in the darkness Felt the fallin' o' the dew— i There comes a sound o' melody No mortal ever heard, An' all the birds seemed singin’ From the throat o' one sweet bird! ‘Then the other birds went Mayin' In a land too fur to call; Fer there warn't no use in stayin' When one bird could sing fer all! == T S Hot Drinks and “Lunchettes” We are now serving hot drinks and dainty lunches in our beauti- ful down-stairs Sodoasis at 16th and Dodge Sts,, and Owl's Nest, 16th and Harney Sts.. At this time of the year the demand changes with the time of the day. In the morning it’s something hot; in the afternoon it's something cold, and you will find us slways ready to serve the most fickle taste at any time. several nationally known candies. Weé are exclusive agents for 3 ‘ SHERMAN & McCONNELL DRUG COMPANY Four Good Drug Stores. z | | DA TG - —r - OFFICIAL COUNT CLEARLY SHOWS THE Woodmen of the World WINS ’ OCTOBER BIGGEST MONTH IN OUR HISTORY YOU SHOULD JOIN THIS THRONG OF EIGHT HUNDRED THOUSAND WINNERS THEY HAVE THIRTY MILLION ASSETS RING DOU IGLAS 1117, ' NO CHARGE FOR EXPLANATION W. A. FRASER, President. J. T. YATES, Secretary. Piles and Fistula Cured Without Surgical Operation or Pain. No Chloroform or Ether given. Writ- ten Guarantee Given in All Cases. Pay When Cured. Car Fare Paid One Way to Omabha. Points Within 50 Miles of Patients must come to the office. Hundreds of the Most Prominent People in Omaha have been cured by DR. WILLIAM CREIGHTON MAXWELL 408-9-10 Omaha National Bank, 17th and Farnam Sts. ¢ Phone Red 4390. Hours: 9 to 12 and 2 to 5. PHONE DOUGLAS 222. OMAHA NEB