Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, October 25, 1915, Page 4

i 5 | s ] S br in = by B C L P R R T e PR % THE OMAHA DAILY BEE ""FOUNDED BY EDWA:. ROSEWATER. VICTOR ROSEWATEL, <DITOR. The Bee Publishing Com y’En_p;IMor. BEE BUILDING, FARNAM AND SEVEN’ H. Entered at Omahs postoffice as second-class matter. TERMS OF BUBSCRIPTION. By carrier By mall per month. per ¥ and Sunday.. 68c finy without Sunday. vening and Sunday Erening without Sunday. inday Bee only Bend notice of Departmen REMITTANCE. Remit by draft, express or postal order. Only two- cent stamps recelved in payment of small ae- counts, Personal checks, except on Omaha and eastern axchange, not #ccepted. OFFICES. ha—The R' Bullding uth Omaha—318 N street. Council Bluffe—14 North Maln street. 1dnecoln—% Little mlldln‘r. 0—901 iny hs{ Hearst Bull New York—Room 1106, 3% Fifth avenue Bt Louls- 508 New Bank of Commeroce. Washington—i% Fourteenth 8t. N. W. CORRESPONDENCE, Adress communications relating to news and edh hfld matter to Omaha Bee, Department. SEPTEMBER CIRCULATION. 54,663 State of Nebraska, County of Douglas, ss: Publiafing P R T e ways that the ng_company, be uly w average dirculation for the month of Beptember, 1 Was 54,663, DWIGHT WILLIAMS, Circulation Manager. lubamlbl:‘d ‘ln m ru.;:rn- and aworn to before this o = HoBERT HUNTER, Notary Publia. Bubscribers leaving the city temporarily should have The Bee mailed to them. Ad- dress will be changed as often as requested. October 25 —————————-é. Thought for the Day Selected by Grace A. Porter Anderson Goud temper ia like a sunny day; it sheds its brightnaes everywhere. — Sidney. All right, “Billy,” here’s hoping S racuse is as good to you. | After the street carnival and the religious carnival comes the foot ball carnival Even political rarmers will enjoy a brand of weather peculiarly adapted to fall plowing. England clings hopefully to the thought: “The darkest hour is just before the dawn.” Persistent fighting ‘along the Btyr river renders comparatively easy the translation over the Btyx. Still those people who shun mansions here below may prefer the bleachers to the grand- stand up above. After all the hopes and boasts of militant Kurope, to the United States falls the happy task of carving turkey. Sm——— War bulletin makers are equal to every oo- caslon. The farflung battle line affords ample scope for their versatility. — King Peter reached the Serblan throne through a sprinkling of blood. He seems fated to go down and out in a deluge of gore, e—— It there are “heavenly mansions™ carrying “{or rent” signs, Omaha need not be abashed, then, because a few houses down here are “to Jet." S—— Twelve nations, big and little, are now in- volved in the world war. Is it any wonder that Greece and Roumania dislike to be the hoodoo 1ember? The hesitation of the Greeks and Rouman- jans has a distinct Missouri flavor. They want to be shown that the entente allies can dellver the goods. ’ E ] The response to King George's appeal to “My people,” for more recruits will determine whether the volunteering system of a democracy will survive the necessities of militarism. ee——— The bankers will now convene in their state - association to take an inventory of the proceeds of the year's crop. The Nebraska farmer who cannot borrow money these days is an exception W the rule. Srmm——— Another unforeseen result of our biennial elections s witnessed in the necessity of Mr. Fryan going away from home to do his annual campaigning “stunt” and keep in practice for the big show next year. ———— Rumors float in from China of trouble brew- ing in certain provinces opposed to the monarch- fal ides. These provinces were largely, if not chiefly, responsible for the birth of the republic, and for organized resistance to President Yuan, “two years ago. The vigorous suppression of that revolt and the exile of Dr. Sun Yat Sen and his associates s too recent to expect that another revolt, if undertaken, will get farther than a graveyard. The team and the at the Athletic pronounced cidedly ludic the girls and the boys showing their good nature by allowing their falr opponents every possible privilege.” Bishop Worthington conducted missionary Sunday services at Trinity. The subject of Rev. W. E. Copeland's sermon at Unity was “The Value of Feasts."” A New York traveling man who is in Omaha said he had the pleasure of meeting one of the greatest Omaba swindlers, Loyal L. Smith, wo.e riding on the Canadian Pacific from Windsor to Montreal. Omaha Typographical union was preparing for a Work on the Belt line at the stock yards is being pushed rapidly, and the construction of the bridge commenced. What of the Presidential Primary? Three years ago many people were led to believe that the last presidential nominating convention had been held and that all our fu- ture presidential standard-bearers would be selected by direct vote. The presidential pref- erence primary was to be substituted for the customary nominating machinery and put an end allke to convention trades and deals ani stampedes. The direct-vote nomination of can didates for president became a plank in one of the big party platforms and was publicly favored by the winner of the race, who now occupies the White House. But here we have another presi- dentlal year almost upon us and the lines being laid again for the convention preliminaries out of which the presidential tickets will be evolved. Let no one take this to mean that the presi- dential primary {dea has made no progress nor that the conditions of president-making have remained unchanged. Eighteen states have by law adopted some form of choosing national convention delegates by direct vote of the party membership, with more or less subjection to preferential instructions, and these states have representation constituting much more than the majority required to nominate in a republican convention and almost the two-thirds necessary in the democratic convention. These primaries begin as early as next March, Indiana and Min- neeota leading of, and continue into June. A Here is where theory and practice diverge, for the ideal of direct nominations would call for a cholce between all the candidates by the members of the party all over the country at the same time. Plecemeal primaries, on the other hand, emphasize the importance of those first held for their potential effect to influencs those that come after. Obviously, too, it Is not probable that all the aspirants will be voted on In all the states. Bome of the favorite sons will doubless confine their efforts to the home constituency, being content to rest thelr chances on the possibility of a long-drawn contest event- uating to the advantage of the half-concealed dark horse: The salient point of the situation is that the direct primary, instead of simplifying things, as it might had it been perfected and made nation-wide in scope, has really introduced com- plicating factors. Except for President Wilson's uncontested claim to renomination, these com- plications would confront all the political parties aliké. 8o far as determining the make-up of the tickets in advance of the convention, therefore the direst presidential primary in the crude form that we have it, is certain to fall far short cof original prospectus. Civilizing the Censor. The British House of Commons has set it- melf a task that makes its other achievements look small in comparison. It is going to try to civilize the censor, at least to the extent that that extremely efficacious officlal will soften his heart towards the message intended to be used by newspapers shall not be entirely shorn of whatever ornate flourish the writer may use in bis effort to conceal a fact from the scrutiny of the censor and yet reveal it to his readers. The incident from which the present move arises has to do with the elision of some lines from Brown- irg and from Kipling, which the inspector of copy falled to pass. S8ir John A. Simon, secre- tary for home affairs, explaing the matter as not being due to the military objection to poetry, but to the fallure of the censor to recognize the lines. He adds that a suggestion has been made to the War office that its copy readers cultivate the muse. The possibilities that reside in this are so alluring that they lead even to the hope that officlaldom in England may yet develop a sense of humor, and when that happens it will be the end to most of the censor's present day activities, Pancho Villa's Future, Friends have invited Pancho Villa to lay down his arms and seek safety in the United States, threatening to desert him if he acts otherwise. A far better course for Villa would be to cease his fighting and make his peace with Carranza. The United States would afford him asylum, but, if he possesses any of the patriotism he professes, he will stay at home and use the influence he has to help In restoring order. This seems too much to expect of him, for his course has been such as to establish him as an adventurer whose sole object is his own advantage. Yet it is not without precedent, nor beyond the range of possibility, that Villa should even now turn his energy into the course of use- fulness to his country, and supplement the small service he has already done her by trying to undo some of the harm he has accomplisbed. Such a life would be far nobler than existence as a fugitive on this side of the border, with the fate of Pasquale Orozco and the example of Huerta before him as warnings of what may come to rlotters against the peace of Uncle S8am's neigh- bors. —— In Whom Do We Trust? When a president undertook to leave a well known inscription off the colnage of the United States, he aroused such opposition as compelled him to abandon his project. The retention of the motto was accepted as signifying the con- tinuation of the traditional national and indl- vidual trust in God, as befits a Christian and enlightened people. Circumstances arise, how- ever, that justify some inquiry as to how far that expressed rellance really extends. For ex- smple, when the keel of the battleship Connecti- cut was laid at the Brooklyn Navy yard, before anything else was done, the chaplain offered prayer. Then the workmen proceeded to nmail & horseshoe on a post which stands as the prow of the vessel, and finally, the secretary of the ravy told of the tremendous power of this ship, which will exceed that of any afloat. In which of the three do we reaily trust—the God of the Universe, the goddess of fortune, or “reeking tube and iron shard?" While civilization is belng shot to pleces eamong its monarchial votaries, it is consoling to note that Massachusetts {s still carrying the ban- ner of light and uplift to the benighted of Africa. Within six months 1,000,000 gallons of Medford rum has gone from Boston to the west coast. The usual proportion of Bibles doubtless hit the same trail at the same time. The nature of the vehicles as well as the work cut out for them renders submarine and #eroplane operation the riskiest branches of uviedern war. Officlal admission of a high per centage of loss s not surprising. 1THE BEE: OMAHA, MONDAY, Our National Wealth ————wiliam B. Balley. N A SPECIAL bulletin of the bureau of census Is I given the total and per eapita national wealth of this country from 1860 to 1912 Total (exclusive of exempt real property). 75,429, 000,000 Per 1904 100, 473,000,000 1900 82,306, 000,000 1590 1850 B coveusersisossseoss 18%) 1610.000,000 1860 . veses 7.136,000,000 In this total exempt real estate to the value of over twelve billions of dollars was not Included. This is made up of the real property owned by the federal, state and local governments, together with the real property of educational, charitable and religious in- stitutions exempted from taxation. If this amount were included the per capita wealth for the United States In 1912 would be $1.966. The largest itema which make up the total wealth of 175 billion dollars are Taxed real property and improvements....§98 33 000 000 Railroads and equipment oon 16,149,000,000 Manufactured products .. 14.694.000,000 Furniture, vehicles and k 8,463,000,000 Live stock 000,000 The total wealth of New York state {s about twenty- five billions of dollars, followed by Illinols and Penn- aylvania with about fifteen billlons each. There are ten other states with a total wealth of over five billions, When we come to the per capita wealth the order of states is very different. Nevada leads, with 84,865, followed by Iowa with $3,846, North Dakota with $3.210 and California with $3,113. There are six other states in which the per capita wealth is over $2500, of which Nebraska with $2,954, 1s one. Neither New York nor Pennsylvania, however, is in this list. It is impossible to give comparative figures for many countrfes. In 1908 the total wealth of the Brit- ish empire was estimated at 108 billions. In 1908 the wealth of Germany was estimated at seventy-eight billions of dollars. '"Twas Ever Thus ‘Wew York Times. The grapes in New Jersey are sour In the mouths of some of the champions of the Cause there and elsewhere. The acerbity of the beaten women politicians will be sweetened later. The brokers call women ‘‘bad losers,” but the wail of the walloped cn the morning after election is stereotyped. The suf- fragists have been defeated in the Jerseys, it seema, by the same old league of all the Iniquities that ways licks “our side.’” The *corrupt bosses, the “Interest: the dear old truepennies, the Rum Power, the machine—the World, the Flesh, and the Devil t the children of light, Fraud and Corruption were “rampant,” as usual. The great ant! vote anil majority in New Jersey could all be plausibly at- tributed to the ignorant, the political machine, the saloon keepers, Woman suffrage is right, therefors those who oppose it must be wrong, but there is no g00d in them. New Jersey is an unprogressive, a backward state. A distinguished y State suffragist calls New Jersey, in that urbane and polished English to be expected of the Boston Pale, “a punk state.”’ Can there be so great angers in celestial minds? The decision of New Jersey against woman suffrage is especially significant because it is the decision of & progressive state; a soberly progressive state, not given to the worship of novelty for the mere sake of novelty, Deaf to voices that are always heard with respect, refusing to follow Mr. Wilson and Mr. Gar- rison, New Jersey rejects a political experiment un- tried in the east and of at least doubtful service any- where, This year is probably the most unfortunate time in which to try to persuade the voters to grant Votes to Women. Men's minds are occupled with matters much more important. Doubtless that delightful Massachu- wotts critic of New Jersey will be able to add three more “‘punk states” to her collection in November. Twice Told Tales Long Headed Senator Lodge was talking in Boston about certain investigating committees. ““They are like the brook,” he sald; “they flow on forever, Some of them, In fact, remind me strongly of Bi Haskins, 81 Hoskins got & Job last spring at shooting musk- rats, for muskrats overran the mill owner's dam. ‘“There, in the lovely spring weather, 81 sat on the grassy bank, his gun on his knee; and, finding him thus one morning, I said: * “‘What are you doing, SI7" “‘I'm pald to shoot muskrats, sir, he answered. “They're underminin’' the dam.’ ‘ ‘There goes one now,’ sald 1. don't you shoot," “Si puffed a tranquil cloud from his pipe, and sald: “ ‘Do you think I want to lose my job? “'—Boston Transcript. ‘Shoot, man! Why Easily BExplained. ‘When Jenkins came downstairs in the morning and took & seat at the breakfast table, he noticed that witey was wearing a cold expression that chilled like the early frosts of autumn. “Mr, Jenkins,” finally remarked the good woman in a metalllc voice, “you were talking in your sleep last night, and I noticed that you spoke in rather af- fectionate terma of cne Buphemia." “Of course, my dear; of course,” hastily explained the old man. Buphemia is my sister.” “Puphemia your sister!” exciaimed the mother with large emphasis. ‘“Your sister's name is Jane." “Yes, 1 know, my dear,” answered the esteemed Jonkins, “but we used to call her Buphemia for short."—Philadelphia Telegraph. None Got by Him. A young Irishman was sent by his backers to a neighboring city to box with an athlete living there. He was getting the worst of it, as his friends soon realized. “*Come, brace up, Jim,” cautioned one of his friends. “Stop more of his blo o “Stop thim?' the unfortunate Jim cried. ‘Do you seo any of them gettin' by me?'—Harper's Weekly. Too Severe. At one time Joe Jefferson was persuaded to ac company a friend to a new production. The plece in itself proved to be inferior, and the comedlans were even more 80. On their way out the friend remarked that the comedians seemed nervous. W they need is life,”” he concluded. “You're too severe,’ sald the gentle-hearted Jeffer- son, his grave face concealing internal laughter. ““Ton years would be enough."—New York Times. { People and Events The chief detective of a New York hotel worked hard and earnestly on a stolen watch “oase,” and finally recovered the missing article. As & reward the owner of the watch, a woman, named her dog after the nice man. A passenger train from New York City was stuck for two hours on a molasses-coated track In the mountains. A freight train ahead had spilied the sticky stuff, and Engineer McAloon had to call Screnton, Pa., for help before he could get his traln through. The Grand canal at Venice, moonlight, gondolas and romance, is sald now to be cluttered with torpedo boats and crulsers. It was through a war that drove the people to seek refuge on those many islands that Venice came to be cs- tablished. Johnston Cornish, a farmer of Harmony township, New Jersey, has & sunken garden created by nature in the last two weeks. In that time one of his fields planted with garden truck has sunk more than ten feot. It is thought that an underground stream is slowly eating away the underlying strata. ‘The upward leaps of the cost of government m New York state causes extended searching for sources of revenue hitherto untouched. Income taxes are most favored, Prof. Seligman of Columbia, urges taxing all incomes over §1.3%, with an additional exemption of $40) for married men and $300 for each child. Other tax- ing experts favor a minimum exemption of $1500. in all the discussion, not a whisper is heard for economy at the sources of expenditure. OCTOBER 25, 1915. The Hees effer War and Christianity. GLENWOOD, la, Oct. 2—To the Editor of The Bee: Yout editorial in The Bee upon the present war situation and the failure of so-called Christianity to prevent that shocking calamity is un- fair to Jesus Christ and His actual fol- lowers In the assumption that He has ruled the world or any appreciable por- tion of its inhabitants at any time for many generations in the immediate past A casual knowledge even of the vital and fundamental principles and conditions which Jesus Christ announced as neces- sary if His will shall govern mankind must settle beyond a question the fact that this generation has never beheld a thorough Christian. In no place on the earth within at least a contury past have those doctrines at any time been proclaimed or insisted upon by those who profess to be His followers. Therefore it 1s entirely and absolutely true to declare that a genuine Christian, should one exist or appear, would frighten to death the greater portion of those who now inhabit the earth, o unusual and strange woulq such a being appear in the light of our present standards and principles or lack thereof. The war now raging in Europe comes from the failure to follow Jesus Christ, and on account of men and nations hav- ing rejected His words. A Christian, ac- tual and genuine, will never engage in war. There is not even a chance for dis- pute on this proposition. The angels an- nounced ‘“Peace on earth and good will to men,” when the advent of Jesus was proclaimed. He declareq as basic in the kingdom to be by Him established, cer- tain principles, in the operation of which no man or nation governed by Him can ever under any circumstances engage In war, If they do so gage the proof s thereby settled positively that He is in no manner the ruler. No person even of the most general information ae to His kingdom and the truths and principles thereof cgn question this fact in any man- ner whafever. INTERESTED READER. Is the School Doard “Narrow!?!" OMAHA, Oct. 23.—To the Editor of The Bee: Two short editorials in your paper, one October 16 and the other October 23, have not stated fairly a certain situation with which many of your readers are well acquainted. One justification of the Omaha school board's attitude in re- fusing Mr. Sunday permission to speak to high school students in the high school building, you state to be that down at Lincoln, when the evangelist appeared there. it i3 to be noticed he did not use tha university buildings. The cases are not comparable. One of the committee who arranged Mr. Sunday’'s visit is authority for stating that no attempt was made to use the university bufldings, for nome was capacious enough. The largest free auditorfum in the city, seating over 1,000, was used, and was crowded. In yet another particular these two short editorials have been misleading. They did not hint that university au- thorities dismissed for two whole recita- tion periods, the entire student body that Mr. S8unday might help them in moral and religious uplift. If that was not officlal approval of Mr. Sunday and his abllity to really help the students, then 1t comes near enough te satisfy anyone who 1is looking first to the character training of youth. When has the Omaha school board shown during these meetings an equal Interest in the high moral up- lift of the rising generation? Omaha must e the good will of the state, else its one greatest asset Is weak- ened. I belleve my work throughout the state, and residence in Omaha and the state for twenty-elght years, permit me to say that the narrow attitude of cer- tain Interests in this city to high moral and openly religlous efforts has been its most pronounced fault in the eyes of people who know our city as respects other cities, Every thrust against such a decidedly moral asset as Mr. Sunday robs our city of respect, and therefore dollars, that rightfully belong to her. RALPH H. HOUSEMAN, PBducational Superintendent, Presbyterian Bynod. Support Home Collexes, Too. OMAHA, Oct. 24.—To the Editor of The Bee: The future of any city depends upon the loyalty and support of every citizen to the institutions of that ecity. All must work and pull together. What is true of commercial Iife Is equally true regarding city co-operation in college life. Every man, woman and child knows that we have such a college as Creighton, but few realize the standing or rating of this school among the other colleges of the country. ' Headed by the most efficlent Instructors that money and efforts can produce 1t ranks second to none and is recognized among col- leges as one of the leading institutions of learning. Omaha is four times the size of Lin- coln, If it gave four times the support to Crelghton university as Lincoln gives to Nebraskd we would have an educa- tional center, at least, twice as great. Creighton university depends for its future upon the friendehip of Omaha. I would plead for support to the foot ball team. In my opinion the Creighton foot ball squad s one of the most promising in the school's history, but they need support to carry them to victory. Business men, you are continually cry- ing, “Support home Institutions. Buy Omaha made goods,” yet you deny our schools and colleges the very thing by your absence for which you so earnestly plead—support! ‘When Creighton, our largest university, has & winning team students from the west, north and south will stop off in Omaha instead of going east. Would you argue that an enrollment of from 6000 to 8000 students will not benefit Omaha as a city, its merchants, business men and manufacturers? When each of these men go to thelr humes during va- catlon or wherever they go after gradu- ation, it will be Omaba of which they speak, and this, from the view of busi- ness men who realize what advertising means, will be inestimabie. 1022 Park Avenue. C. B. WALSH, Labor, Temperance, Prohibition, OMAHA, Oct. 22.—To the Editor of The Bee: I regret to note that Frank J. Lynch in his communication is of the opinion that the Nebraska Federation of Labor used poor judgment when they passed resolutions against prohibition at their recent state convention. ar. Lynch wants to make it appear that it would have been better If the convention had remained neutral on that subject, but entirely |ignores the fact that most of the delegates who opposed prohbition would have been glad to re- main silent on that subject had they mot realized that & very strong effort was being made by a few dry delegates to induce the convention to adopt a prohibi- tion resolution. They ia all probability would have succeeded If the counter proposition had not been made and car- ried. It ls misleading, there.ore, to make it appear that the convention would have remained neutral on that subject. The animus of Mr. Lynch's letter seems to have been, however, to discredit the editor of the Unionist, prompted, no doubt, by a few prohibition enthusiasts In the labor rari«s, for the simple reason that he has refused to have anything to do with their cause. Laboring men resent the idea that tem- perate habits amongst them are depen- dent upon the straight-jackets of pro- hibitory laws, as an insult to their in- telligence. They insist that they are no more intemperate than the rich and well to-do, who Indulge moderately or other- wise In thelr homes and clubs, even where the open sale s forbldden. La- toring men know that poverty and fll- ness, nonemployment, domestic infelicity and similar causes lead to intemperance more often than being caused by it R. B. JONAHOE. One Shift of Officers Only. OMAHA, Oct. 28.~To the Editor of The Bee: The officers on our police force seem to outnumber the patrolmen! How would it work to have one shift composed en- tirely of officers? W.W. W Nebraska Editors R. Taylor has launched the Graphic at Maskell, Dixon county. It is a six-column follo, two pages printed at home, and well filled with local advertising. The Tekamah Journal has installed a model K linotype, carrying two maga- zines, and hereafter practically all of the paper will be set and printed In the home office. The Orleans Isser came out last week printed in magazine form, containing twenty-two pages, all printed at home and filled with illustrations. Editor Shields points to the paper with a feeling of pride. The Burt County Herald, published at Tekamah, found business so good last week that it was compelled to publish a twenty-page issue. It was fllled to the margin with news and advertising of local firms. The Fillmore County Signal, published at Geneva, has celebrated its fortieth an- niversary and regardless of its age is feel- ing pretty lvely. For twenty-one yea the paper has been published by the pres- ent owner and editor, Frank O. Edge- combe. Around the Cities Albany, N. Y., has adopted the near-side stop plan for street cars and jitneya. Wichita jitneys refuse to be regulated and the city authorities have appealed to the courts for speedy affirmative action on pending litigation. Every one of seven propositions for public improvement bonds were turned down by the voters of Bt. Joe, last week. Knockers were In the minority, but the boosters could not rally two-thirds to the polls. To make ends meet and keep the city budget on an economy basls, Mayor Mitchel of New York announces that wages of employes will be reduced next year and personal taxes boosted twelve times. The roar from both quarters jars the heights of Weehawken. A novel scheme of church debt 1ifting has been inaugurated by the Methodists of Garden City, K n. Young calves are the contributions solicited from parishion- ers. These will be herded together and fattened without cost and marketed when | the price s right. In two years it is ex- pected the herd will kick off a debt of $5,600. Developments growing out of the violent death of Theodor C. Peltzer in Kansas City show a suicide pact between Theodor and his brother Herman. Bach pledged to eacrifice himself so that life Insurance might be utilized to square the accounts of people swindled by forged securities The forged paper amounts to $500,000 se far, with life Insurance equaling that sum A contest over the insurance money seems certain from two sides—those who hold preferred claims and from insurance companies whose policies carry the one- year suicide clause. Iusurance to the sum of $23,000 was taken out within a year. Chicago Passenger Terminal, Chicago & North Western Ry. FAST SPLENDIDLY hicago aname East Over a double track system with automatic electric safety signals all the way from Omaha to Chicago. 7—DAILY TRAINS-7 all arriving at Chicago in the new Passenger Terminal CHICAGO & NORTH WESTERN RY. convenient to hotel and shopping district. DAILY SERVICE: Arrive Chicage.. paid for that with the soup.”—Kansas { City Times. You can't get something for mothing, SUNNY GEMS. ‘lost my Job as a base ball pitcher, judge Well, you were foolish to go Into burglary If you are poor at locating the plate.'—Boston Transcript. “Look here, waiter. Eighty cents is an outrageous price for a portion of aspara- wus. “Yes, ting o and-— “1 know all about the cabaret show. I sir, but you see, slr, we're put- a 'very expensive cabaret show, sald the ready-made philosopher. “Somebody did,” exclaimed Mr. Chug- ins. ““The automobile | bought day be- ore yesterday . wouldn't bring half its price if 1 sold today.’ shington Star. “Why don't you get married old top?” “Can’'t find any girl willing to leave her happy home for me." “Then why not look around for some girl with an unhappy home?'—Loulsville Courler-Journal. KABIBBLE KABARET DEAR MR. KABIBBLE, MY HUSBAND HAS LEFT ME, BUT I DONT CARE. AM T RIghY To FEEL THAT WAY ¢ Coa ¥ ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT™ “THE NE IGHBORS SAY o “Do you think a man ought to try to forgive his enemies?" “Yes,” replied Senator Sorghum. “He ought ‘to try. But sometimes he'll have more self-respect if he doesn't succeed. Washington Star. Lot took a look at his wife who had been turned into a pillar of salt. iy “She always was too fresh, anyhow,' he commented.—Judge. “John was a good man,” sald the dls- consolate widow, ‘“‘but he was so old- fashioned to the las “How 807" asked the sympathetic friend. “Why, he got killed by & runaway horse.’~Albany Arg He—What is the difference between a gown and a creation? She—1 can’'t give you the exact figures, but it's a small fortune.” Hliza Cook. ‘ I love it! T love it! and who shall dare To chide me for loving that old armchair? I've treasured it long as a sainted prize, I've bedewed it with tears, I've embalmed it with sighs. "Tis bound by s thousand bands to my eart; Not a tie will break, not a link will start; Would you know the spell?—a mother sa! there! And a sacred thing is that old arm-chair. L In childhood’'s hour I lingéred near ‘The hallowed seat with listening ear; And gentle words that mother would give To fit me to die. and I teach me to live. She l‘)‘e‘l?d me that shame would never t| o With truth for my creed, and God for my gulde; She taught me to lisp my earliest prayer, As 1 knelt beside that old arm chair. ' I sat and watched her many a day, When her eyes grew dim, and her locks were gray; And 1 almost worshipped her when she [ And turned from her Bible to bless her child. Years rolled on, but the last one sped— ‘ My l{d}:\a' was shatts , my earth-star I learnt how much the heart can bear When I saw her dle in her old armchain “Tis past, 'tis past! but I gase on it now, \\'lthh quivering breath and throbbing row; 'Twas there she nursed me, 'twas there Bay it s folly, and deem me weak, While scalding drops start dowh my ey eek But 1 love it, I love it, and can not tear { My soul from a mother's old armchalr. { BUY IT IN OMAHA ‘i ..- gasgiil Frerrry EFEFFRR