Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, May 31, 1910, Page 15

THE BEE OMAHA, TUESDAY, MAY 31, 1910. | I 7 N SIDELIGHTS ALONG WASHINGTON BYWAYS Making & met speech in the house s a werfous proposition with Champ Clark of Missourl, minority leader of the house, and its delivery In the house is made with quite as great care for detalls s might be expected from David Belasco in staging a play. In the first place Clark gets down in front of the speaker's desk, where he will have plenty of room to wander around. Being a big tan, physically as well as mentally, ha looks well to bodily comfort, and for that reason comes into the house on the day of his speech with an alpaca coat. No frock soats for Champ when he expects to rant and tear around for two hours. ITis pockets are bulging with handkerchiefs. He is ac- sompanied by onp of his secretaries and .hat functionary is loaded down with books and pers and planted in a seat where he can within ealling distance when his chiof needs to bo carcfui and specitic and refer to figures. When Champ gets started on his speech he wanders here, there and everywhere. After he stops to mop away the perspira- tlon on his brow he sheds his handkerchiet wherever he happens to be. Ho s certain to get back to it in fifteen minutes. In the meantime he has wandered from the demo- cratic slde over to the majority side, drop- ping & handkerchief here, picking up one there. Frequently he takes off hie spec- tacles, hands them to his secretary and continues his speech. The secretary wipes them oft carefully and the next- time Champ is in his vicinity he glves them back. The secretary hi another duty to per- form. Champ has a habit of telling stories to illustrate his arguments and in doing so he wanders away from what he had started out to say. Finally he brings himself up ‘with & sharp turn, goes over to the secre- tary, who Is following the manusecript of the speech, gets his cue and then takes up the line of his argument. Meémbers of the house like to hear Clark in & two-hotr speech. That gives him plenty of time to Indulge in his humorous personalities, and although he handles his opponents without gloves no one takes of- fense. Representative Adam Monroe Byrd of Mississippl 18 working energetically to ex- tend his acquaintance on the democratic side of the house. There's a reason. Mr. Byrd recently delivered a tariff speech during the consideration of the sundry elvil appropriation bill. Afier the fashion of the orators of the house he scorned to re- main at his desk and deliver himself of his remarks quietly. He got out into the center alsle and most of his speech was directed at individual members of the republican or- ganization K When Mr. Byrd Teached the woolen schedule he became particularly vehement; in fact, he became all worked up about it. 11e walked up the afsle, talking lils speech first to one member of the house organk tion and then to another. , Representative Currfer of New Hampshire, chalrman of the fopublican caucus, was the bright par- ticular spot at which Mr. Byrd directed most of his hot shots. Finally he paused 8t a devk which was occupled by & small man with a Van Dyke beard. To this mem- ber of the house Mr. Byrd declared with all the emphasis at his command that the woolag schedule was the most viclous out- Yl(flfl\'pr perpetrated on the Amerfcan public. The small member nodded his head Thus cncouraged, Mr. Byrd waxed elo- quent and cach time he scored a point which brought forth applause from the democratic #ide the small man to whom the speech was being temporarily directed nodded his head approvingly. From thrash- ing the atmosphere with his arms Mr. Byrd took to pounding the desk in front of the small member. “Knowing all the things I have sald to sald Mr. Byrd, reaching his cli- nowing the Injustice of this sched- ule; knowing that it was legislation for the interests and against the common people— knowing these things, why did you vote for that echedule?” “You mean to tell this house that you @id not vote for that tariff bill?" questioned Mr. Byrd. “I do,” answered the small man. “Well,” said Mr. Byrd, “I admire you for your eonviction The house by this time was convulsed with laughter. The small member to whom Mr. Byrd had been addressing his re- marks was Representative Edward W. Saunders of Virginia, who had moved over to the republican side of the aisle to hear the speech and enjoy the fun. o R AR PR R Ak A = 4 | ~ T AENUS, i ‘ i il | Llliu Il !;I:Y i Meat with Egws. ROAST BEEF WITH YORKSHIRE PUDDING. The heet is roasted as usual and the yudding thade as follows: Yorkshire Pud- ding—Three Eggs, one pint milk, one cupful flour, one teaspoonful salt. Beat the eggs until very light, then add the milk. Pour the mixture over the flour, add the edlt, and beat well, Bake in hissing hot gom pans or In an ordinary baking pan for forty-five minutes, and baste with drip- pings from the beef. If gem pans are used they should be placed on a dripping pan to prétect the floor of the oven from the fat. Many cooks prefer to bake York- shire pudding in the pan with the meat; in this case the roast should be placed on 4 rack and the pudding batter poured on the pan under ft. CORNED BEEF HASH WITH POACHED EGGS. A dish popular with mmny persons Is dorned beef hash with poached eggs on top of the hash. A slice of toast is sometimes used under the hash. This suggests a way of utilising the small amount of ecorned Beof hash which would otherwise be in- sufficlent for a meal Housekeepers occasionally use up odd ) o | I A w P 1L s i bits of other meat in a similar way, chop- ping and seasoning them and then warming and serving to individval baking cups with a poacher or shirred egd on each. HAM AND POACHED EGGS WITH CREAM SAUCE. A more elaborate dish of meat and eggs is made by placing a plece of thinly sliced bolled ham on & round of buttered toast, a poached egg on the ham, and eovering Wwith & highly seasoned eream or a Hol- landafse sauce. A slice of tongue may be used instead of the ham. If preferred, a well seasoned and rather thick tomato sauce or curry sauce may be uscd. The Marriage Question. Most men look forward to getting mur- rled. If they can they will probably deny it. A young man will prevaricate here whose word could be taken on anything else. Yet it is a fact that for very many of us the fate of matrimony is in store, and sq why should we be afraid to discuss this of all subjects? In our decision In this case lics our future happiness or misery. A young man ought most certalnly to marry, but let him keep in mind that the true !dea of matrimony is to cteate happy homes. It seems strange that many young men who could be trusted to transact business in a satisfactory manner, and Who are otherwise levelheaded, cannot be trusted to successfully negotiate matrimony. Marny a promilsing career has been, and is at the present time, spolled by what could have been avoided by a little foresight. A young man in choosing & life partnar must look out for one whom he can love and respect. The wise young man will See to it that the lady of his choice has tastes and inclinations like to his own, and the result will be & successful marriage. If husband and wife have no common union of ideals the duty of being pleasant to each other becomes & task. Many couples whose only fault lles in a lack of mutual sympathy, never get on weM together, and, to use a hackneyed expres- sion, they are an ill-mated pair. There is nothing that will test a man's love more soverely than untidiness in his wife. A ecareless girl cannot hide the fact that she 1s so. She shows it in her dress and deportment. And young men can be assured of this, that an untidy girl will develop into an untidy wite. And the young man who is desirous of making a successful marriage must con- sider the other side, t00, as to how far he himself is qualitied to ereate & happy home. @ $20 bill on the table, Suppose you didn't take it y mistake?’ Unhappy marriages can be traced to three ¢auses, says Home Notes: First, when there is « continual olashing 6t opinion. Second, where the wife insists on having her own way In everything. ‘Third, where the husband becomes a petty tyrant in the home. The really happy marniage is one In which there is a spirit of give-and-take, a matual desire to please each other, and a desire to bear and forbear. But, after all, ft depends largeély upon ourselves whether murrage Is & success or @ fallure. A union which Is based upon mutual love alone will stand the wear and tear of the years, and bring sympathy and tenderness in thelr traln, GO] Mt S0 G0 Yo BED AND GE A GOOD SLEEP AND BE GOOD AN FRESH IN THE MORNING' WE HAVE LOTS To pO! EARLY To BED, ARRIE, AND EARLY 0 RISE.. YU KNOW, PO Y JARE & | ( Things You Want to Know Trouble in China— Mr. Knox's Polley. SAY' COLONEL THAT UNEARTHLY - NOISE | HEAR? [ CANT SLEEP NOR REST! ‘»SO:')NORS LIKE A DOG HOWLING OR A (SQUEAKY HINGE ! IT HAS NERVOUS! ., QUST A MIN- UTE JAKE' | WANT T0 TALK JAKE ~1 MEAR 1T 100! ILL SEE IF | CAN YTILOCATE 17! Yes' | KNOW - You ARE NERVOUS, DEAR' YOURE WORKING LT00 HARD' fLL “GO AND FIND QUT WHAT IT 1S THAT DISTURBS Qu! = = 1 D0 NOT WANT 10 BREAK UP YOUR PARTY BUT MRS STALL IS QUITE NERVOUS THIS EVENING' ASK YOUR WIFE T GO! 10 BED' BOTH OF YOU WAVE LOTS loF WORK TO DO (JOMORROW . 1 AND HIS WIFE 'WERE DOWN IN THE ! | SENT THEM IT IS ONLY EIGHT O'CLOCK. BUT WANT THEM T0 GEY S0 1T ALL RlGNT" AN SLEEP NOW! The Boss of the e Establishment BY AMERE MAN. “What do you say,” queried the Boss of the Establishment, “to spending Sunday in the country with Tom and Maud?” “To say nothing of little Algernon,” his wife rétorted, with a total absence of eage: ness in voice and expression. And then she add “You've ne idea how I dread that all day session with that impossible brat! “That's a fine way to speak of your best triends’ little boy!” snorted the Boss in- dignantly. “If 1 dldn’'t know you better I'd think you were one of those monstrous women who are devold of the maternal instinct. “Well,” his wife answered frankly, “I'll admit the instinct of self-préservation pre- dominates in my make-up, and when I fe- member that the last time we were at Maud's her little ‘Angel Algernon' threw a handful of ripe strawberried In my fit- teen-dollar parasol and tried to set a hen in my best hat, I don't feel exactly over- flowing with matefnal tenderness." “But those were just childish pranks,’' sald the Boss, propitiatingly. “Any healthy little fellow of eight, bubbling over with childish spirits, is liable to do those things. Ho meant no harm and I am astonished that you should hold such feelings against a mere baby! He's a fine little chap!" “I'll bet if he put ripe strawberries in your coat pocket you wouldn't think so," pouted the lady. And nothing further was Sald of the merits of Algernon till the apjpointed Sun- day when the little Angel himself, stand- ing meekly beside his mother, uttered a demure welcome to the Boss and his wife. As if to refute the latter's criticlsm's, the infant heir behaved during the entire afternoon with a decorum which would drive to despairing Imitation the youthful hero of & Sunday school book. The Boss was enchanted with Algernon. In fact, he totally neglected his host and hostess to play croquet with thelr malignea infant. “Maud, what has come over the boy?" inquired the mystified Boss' wife. “I don’t know,” candidly . replied the mothér. “I've been worried about Nim all day. He's been so quiet. Really, I don't think he's well. Algle, darling, come “Aw, rats!" exclaimed “Algie-Darling, thereby relieving the worst of his mother's fears. But Algernon came, mnevertheless, and with fair grace permitted his brow to be stroked and his pulse to be tested by an anxious maternal hand. And then Algie, accepting his mother' inability to diagnose his symptoms as a signal of dismissal, rushed off to rejoin his latest, and consequently greatest, friend—the Boss. “‘Say!" sald Algernon, breathlessly, “let's get away from here! Don't you want to see the calf? Look, she's over there now!" Gazing In the direction indicated, the Boss, now completsly under the young- ster's spell, perceived a youthful but sturdy Holstein that might have given a Hindu Yogi lessons in repose and poise, “Sure!"” he sald. And, accompanied by Algernon, he made his way to the top of the gentle hill upon which the seemingly gentle calf was browsing buslly. He Discourses Knowingly Upon Heifer Calves and Small Boys. “‘Here, boss," said the Boss, persuasively, and the animal answered as promptly as the Boss himself did when addressed in the cooing tones of his better half. The ¢alf was tethered to a stake by & long ropa which lay upon the budding turf. in_slack serpentine colls. 80, bossy,” he repeated, scratching the calf's brow ahd feeling its incipient horns. “Come and see the calf,” he called to hir wife, and the whole party started to climb the hill. Meantime, what has become of the little “Angel-Algernon'? Taking advantage of the Boss' absorp- tion in the gentler and more grateful ani- mal, the youngster had selzed the slack colls of rope. and wound them quickly about the Boss' legs. Then, just as his imother, father and the still suspicious Boss' wife appeared upon the scene, he Bgve the tethered calf a viclous kick. 1t fs perhaps needless to chronicle that the frightened animai began to go around in circles and that the rope, tightening about the Boss' legs, threw him sprawling to the ground. Whereupon little “Angel-Algernon” fell upon the grass In a paroxysm of hysterical glee, and the parents scarcely able to dis- guise their fond pride In the phenomenon’s exploit, began to mutter excited apologies. “You vicious little beast!” exclaimed the Boss' wife, with more conjugal fervor than tact. Though the Boss laughed with apparenet heartiness as he extricated himself, his own secret resentment and the hostess’ in- dignation at his wite's criticism of her off- spring _combined to make the rest of the visit a'most frapped affair. Of all the unprincipled, disgusting little brutes I have ever seen,” commented the Boss' wife as they journeyed home, “that certainly is the limit!" “I should say so!” acquiesced the Boss, and this time the ‘“maternal Instinct’ wasn't even mentioned. “Say,” sald the Boss of the Establish- ment to the Confirmed Married Man next day, “do you remember the story in the Bible of the Prodigal Son and the Fatted Calf? Which one did they kill?" (Copyright, 1910, by the N. Y. Herald Co.) “Do your washing this ‘week, Miss Alnsley? Well, I can't say whether or no. * ¢ * We've had great doin's here this week. Set down a minute, ean't you, and I'll tell you what all happened. Although I could not spare the time, I knew that If the wash was to be done, Sarah must be conciliated; so I established myself In & comfortable chair on Barah's porch, while she sat by my side, drawing her chair nearer to mine as she became more confidential. “Timmens was took on Wednesday night at half past one,” she communicated in a sepulchral whisper, “and Mrs. Timmens went on something terrible. On Saturday she was some be nd she did give & beautiful funeral. * * * There was eigh- teen carriages and 't was a long ride, al- though, of course, we couldn't get out no- where; but the ride was long, and the car- riages was beautiful. I did enjoy that carriage ride! It was the first I have had sinee Jim was took. I've striv' to earn an bonest penny, but what with Jim's being took, and our funeral and everything, 1 can't lay up anything for & rainy day. I works seven days In the week and things worry me & terrible lot—what with the children's measles and Jim's being took, t's no wonder 1 have a nervous system. “Now there's Mrs. Timmens. We all thought as how Timmens would leave her & good bit of money, but if you will be- leve it, after the undertaker was paid, and the hackman, and the man for the flowers, and Mrs. Timmin's crepe vell and Mrs. Timmens Gives a Funer=al | - e black dress, there wasn't a cent left. I told her she would run up against it If she never asked no questions of the folks that 1 When accept the Interested powers refused to the made by Knox to neutralize and internationalize the | of Manchuria, & great many pe .,,\ | proposal Secretary | rallways ple jumped to the erroneous cenclusion that Mr. Knox's far eastern policy was | tailure. It Is true that the proposition w turned down Immediately and it is also true that there was never the least chance that it would be accepted. But the fact re- maing that Mr, Knox's proposition ha coeded In foreing Japan and Russia to make public thelr Marchurian policy, a policy | whigh they had been pursuing in secret and which could not be successtully attacked except in the open The whole future of China depends upon | its rafiways. If China is to be Industrially independent In this age of commercial pro press, it must have more railroads and | plenty of them. It it is to be politically in- dependent in this age of commercial poll tics, 1t must have control of its own rail- roads. If no new railroads are built, China cannot go forward. If the new rallroads, when bullt, are owned and operated by and for forelgners, then China cannot long to remain an independent state. The pelicy of the United States, in its re lations to China, always has been that of Qisinterested friendship, so far as affairs in | Asia have been concerned. No other natlon | has been or is now so disinterested. In 1900 the United States saved the Chinese empire from dismemberment and put an end to the serles of territorial selzures which had be- gun in 187 and which had caused the great Boxer rebellion. Now, in 1910, the United States is seeking to save China from finan- clay lavery and to put an end to the serles of rallway grabs which fs chiefly respon- sible for the present threatened anti-forelgn outbreak in China. Mr. Knox's policy has been but the logical and necessary outcome of fidelity to the principle of the open door and equal oppor- tunity as lald down by the late John Hay. There is nothing new or startling in the diplomatic attitude of the present adminis- tration toward Chinese affairs. Mr. Taft and Mr. Knox have merely translated the glittering generalities of the famous Hay note Into the hard practicalities and specific terms of a binding commereial contract. When Mr. Hay proposed that the powers mutually should agree to maintain the ter- ritorfal and administrative entity of the Chinese empire and should support the doctrine of the open door and equal op- portunity, All the powers consented without question and signed the agreement. ‘When Mr. Knox, ten years later, proposed to neutralize railroad ownership in Man- churia as the only efficlent way to secure for China the undisturbed enjoyment of all political rights in Manchurla, under the poliey of the open door, the interested powers sharply declined and some of them went So far as to intimate, through un- officlal channels, that the proposal was impertinent. As & matter of fact, only the United among all the powers, is sincere In supporting the open door doctrine. All the rest have special privileges and none of them {8 willlng to sacrifice its own privi- leges for the sake of China. Bo far as Manchurla is poncerned, Russia and Japan occupy. exactly the same position. Both coveting Chinese territory and both in- triguing to obtain a port in Chinese waters, the two nations came to blows and fought a tremendous war wholly on Chinese terri- tory. That was brought to a close by the triendly intervention of the United States, the culmination of which was the signing of the Treaty of Portsmouth. By the terms of that treaty, Russia and China divided the Manchurian raillways between them- selves, but undertook to Interfere with the development of the country by the Chinese, and solemnly engaged to respect and obey the Chinese sovereignty in Manchuria, The ink was not dry on that treaty before complaints began to be made that the open door was closed, and that, as a matter of fact, the Japanede and Russians were using thelr rallways as an excuse for the com- plete domination and control of Manchuria, political and financlal., After awhile the Japanese army, with much ostentation, evacuated Manghuria, and the control of the country passed again into the hands of fts rightful owners. But complaints dld not cease. It was charged that the Jap- anese products got through the custom houses without paying the duties Imposed upon other wares. In short, it was charged that the open door was completely closed to all but the Japanese. In northern Man- churia, complaints of similar nature, al- though less Insistent, were heard against the Russians. But still, Japan and Russia continued to profess that their only busi- ness in Manchuria was {o guarantee the open door policy. Then China decided to bulld a raflroad In its own territory In Manchurta. Despite the specific guarantees of the Treaty of Portsmouth that neither Japan nor Russia would inmterfere with the development of hope the territoty by the Chinese, both nations objected to this new rallway project. As the railway was to be bullt through south- Manchurla, the Japanese took a lead in the opposition. China, utterly helpless to Japan T war, was forced to submit, and last August China was com- pelled to humillate itself by acknowledging in a treaty that it had no right to bufld a railway in its own territory without ob= taining the consent of Japan. But still Japan continued to assert that Its occus pation of Manchuria was wholly and solely, § in the Intetests of the open door policy. Just a year ago, the Chinese government announced that it would seek to float a large loan for the purpose of building two great rallways, one to connect Canton and sthern China with Hankow, thus ostabe ! lishing communication through to Peking, and the other from Hankotw westward ta the rich, but now almost inaccessible proe | vince of Sge-chuan. German, British an@ rench capitalists were about to take the loan when the United States asked that | American capitalists be permitted to partis cipate. This request precipitated a terrifio struggle in International banking circles A In the world of diplomacy. In July, \dent Taft, disregarding the ordinary nels of diplomatie Intercourse, wrote directly to the prince regent of China and asked for & share in the loan, As a result of this extraordinary action, American capital was admitted to participate on an | equal basis with British, German and‘ French money. Then came other rallway . propositions in which the Americans had a great share and which tended further to complicate the situation. In January, Mr. Knox made his poposal for the neutralization of the Manchurian railways. The United States government declared “one Of the most effective, it fot the most effective, way to secure for Chifta the undisturbed enjoyment of all po- litieal rights In Manchuria, and to, pros mote the moral development of the castern provinces undet the poiiey of the open ‘dgor practically applied, would be to take the raflroads of Manchuria out of the eastern politics and to place them under ah econs omic and impartial administration by vest- Ing in China the ownership of its raile roads; the fund for that purpose to be furnished by the nationals of such inters ested powers as might be willing to parti- cipate and who are pledged to the polioy, of the open door and equal opportunity. Tokyo and St. Petersburg immediately and positively declined to accede to” the proposition. Other nations side-stepped. Germany, perhaps, was more co any of the other great powers. Great Bri- ' tain, as an ally of Japan, and facing the possibility of serious trouble with Germany, was placed in a most embarrassing posis tion, The proposal absolutely failed, so far as the project of neutralization was cone cerned. But it resulted in clarifying the Manchur« fan situation. Japan and Russia have been forced into the admission that thelr ocous pation of Manchurla fs political and strates gle, and that the Chinese sovereignty im that territory i but a ghost without stbe stance or authority. i In the face of the rising tide of ubrest and dissatisfaction In China, the Russjan forelgn office declares that the Treaty of Portsmouth involves but two parties, Ruse sla and Japan, This means thit the obli- gations to China expressed in that treaty ' are to be Interpreted only in the interests of the signatory powers, It means that Japan and Russia have agreed to divide Manchurfa between them and to Intrehch themselves permanently and impregnably in the land of the open door. The world suspects the existence of a secret convene tion between Russla and Japan and dailn expects the promulgation of an open treaty between those two empires so lately at war. ) The Chinese people are greatly agitated, they are angered against the encrosch= ment of foreigners, they are incensed be~ cause the reigning dynasty does not right thielr wrongs, and they are on the point of ' open rebelllon. Such an outbreak would be most unforturiate and would mean the end of all efforts to save the Chinese eme pire from disruption. For the good of the people of Ching, and in the Interests of tha peace of the world, Mr. Knox has volun= teered to the prince regent to assist the Peking government in maintaining quiet iy the empire. ) What is called Mr. Knox's policy, may be credited, in large part, to President Taft, Mr. Taft knows the orient and-is & firm supporter of the traditional Americam friendship for China. Al that has been done In his administration with respect to Chinese affairs was foreshadowed In thd™ great speech which Mr, Taft delivered a§ Shanghal in October, 1907, BY FREDERIC J. HASXIN. Tomorrow—Trouble in China IV Progress of Reform. ern n n st From Harper’s Weekly. was runnin’ her funeral about how much the things would cost—but, no, she was S0 sure that folks wouldn't charge & widow woman same's & woman With a husband, that she simply salls right in and counts up the people and says, very grand and impressive like: “‘Send elghteen carriages, If you pleas ‘Elghteen carriages besides the hearse? says 1’ Yes, says she. ‘“Well, they all come—black horses with glittering harness, and the two for the hearss had crochet nets all over them to keep the flies away. You would hev thought it was the emperot of China hisself if you had 'a’ seen them black feathers floatin’ around on the hearse, and all them shiny ocarriages followin’. Every there seemed to be tryln' to look stylish enough to follow that hearse. “‘Well,' says I when I seen them car- Timmins counted the “I had given her an 'advice about the flowers which she didn't take, for, says 1, ‘people will hev many flowers.’ I read in & paper about one of the fashionable men being took, and his wife says in the paper, in the arbitrary notices, she saye: ‘Please don't send no flowers,’ says s but, no, Mrs. Timmins ordered flowers after flowers —for says she: “ “Timmins were powerful fond of flowers, and these are all he can ever hev,' says whe. “Well, there was more'n would go In the hearse, and the undertaker, jest as perlite 88 you please, says to me; horse | . ** ‘Bxcuse me, madame, but would you mind hevin' this here in with you? and he passed me a pillow made all of white roses with little purple dry-lookin' flowers spellin’' ‘husband’ all over it. I enjoyed that rose plllow ail the way to the grave. It seemed to sort o' comfort the little Timmens girl, too. She was a-cryin’ pitiful before we took in the plllow, and sayin' she was afeared she would go dled. “If Timmins had only not mortgaged the house. He had fifteen hundred to build him a house, but nothing would do but he must have a portico chair for horses to stand under when they drive up to she front door—that was when they had boarders, and I suppose he thought that portico chair would wmake the house nicer for them; but to get it there was a mort- sage. It's strange how some people waste thelr money—not that I did it when I passed through my year of jeopardy. “But the best part of the funeral, for poor Mrs. Timmens, was when she seen her husband’s coffin. Her two husbands were burled one alongside of the ofher, and they dug too far to the right so as to interfere with his grave, and Mrs, Tim- mens was so pleased when she seen the corner of the coffin. I never seen her so pleased! “Timmens had thought at one time of burying with his first wife, but that wouldn't bave been right, since it was his second wife that was giving him such an elegant funeral. That would have been dis- encouraging. “Yes, Miss. Ainsley, 1 can.do the wash Monday very convenlent.'” ' With the Humorists Daily Health Hint. —_— From Harpers' Bazar, HE ROSE TO IT. “Do you know," sald & little boy of & to a companion the other day, “my father and 1 know everything. What 1 don't know my father knows and what my father don't know I know."” ‘All right. Let's see, then,” replied the older child, skeptically. ‘“Where's Asta?" It was & stiff one, but the younger never faltered “Well, that,” he answered, one of the things. my father knows. coolly, “is NOT TO BE BROKEN “Has your husband a strong will?" “My dear! His will Is incontestable.” UNDAUNTED, Mrs. Barker—I was married In 1907, Chicago Woman—How interesting! my part, I never kept a diary. For EASBY. Knicker—Astronomers can & comet will return, Bocker—8o can I back at all, predict when Bridget won't come THE LIMIT, Randall-Don't you think some dreams are unlucky? Rogers—Not nearly s0 unlucky as somnia. In- UNDULY SPECIFIC, He—What's the name of that waltz Miss Gledys is playing? She~"Love's Torment,” He~Why “Love's"? It 18 Wise never to nurse or feed & young child at a shorter interval than two hoursy and never between the hourse of 11 at nigh and § o'clock in the morning. He—Welt, if you want to know, 1'married you simply” for} your money, She—1 wish 1 could tell aa ’ l easlly whet I married you fon “