Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, May 18, 1910, Page 6

THE BEE: OMAHA, WEDNESDAY, MAY 18, 1910 | 1 Awkward. may be doubted, especially since nm!u.e real progressives were not there. ! f In coming to Omaha to tell how |price per lecture and future profits on |In the definition of the World-Herald, ‘NZ 1 1 e democratic legislators are betraying|the investment are the determining fac- |the only way to be a progressive re ‘ ashln gton Ll the pecple by opposing his Initiative | tors, Lucky office-seekers have even |publican is to join forces with the and referendum plan, Mr. Bryan is In"found this an easy means of making |democrats to fight the Taft ndm!nlr‘ an awkward position, their campaign yleld financial returns |tration. PERSONAL NOTES. The driver of a conl cart han Been fined 260 for delivering & woman X pounds of coel less than she pald for. It Is tim for the fee man to shiver Astronomers who have been scratct the comet's head with the spectroscope spiration flowed freely. He reached for the handkerchief, drew it out and gave it a #wish outward with a crack He mopped his massive brow, but the thing seemed stringy and torn. After he had dried his face sufficlently he returned the supposed handkerchief to his pocket hot noticing the titter that was going THE OMAHA DAILY BEE rou NDED BY EDWARD noqrw;\'rrn ‘ICTUR ROM\-WATLR thTOR. e Entored a1 Omaha postoffice as second- matter, Some Interesting Fhases and Ceonditions Observed &t the Nation's Oapitel. ng a TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. Daily Hies iicluding Bunday), per woek. L3¢ Daily Bee (without Sunday), per w Dally Bee (without Sunday), one ye: Daily Bée and Sunday, one year. DELIVERED BY CARRIER. ening Bee (without Sunday), per week ‘a vening Bee (with Sunday), per week Bunday Bee, one year Baturday lee, one yea Address all complaints of irresuiarities in delivery to City Circulation Department. OFFICES. Omaha~The Bee Bullding. South Omaha—Twenty-fourth and N. Council Bluffs—i5 Scott Street. Lincoln—bis Little Bullding. Chicago—1648 Marquette Bullding. New ok Hooms 1101110 No. W West Thirty-third Street. Washington—72% Kourteenth Htroet, N. W. CORRESPONDENCE. Jommanieations relating 1o news and editorial matter should be addressed: Jmaha Ree, kditorial Department. REMITTANCES. Romit by drafl, express or postal order payable 0 The Beo Publishing Company, Only 2-cent stamps received in payment of mail aceounts. Personal checks, except on Umaha or eastern cxchange, not accept STATEMENT OF CIRCULA' [ION, State of Nebraska. Douglas County, 88.: 15, Taschuck, treasurer of The ing Company, being duly sworn ¢ of full and coples of The Datly, Mdrning, ing and Sunday Bee printed during the month of ApHl, 1910, was as follows: Returned coplet Net total. Daily avers ULQRQE B TZSCHUCK, Treasurer. Subscribed In my presence and sworn to before me this 2d day_of u-y. 1910, M. P. WALKER, NOIAIY Puolle. n porarily should have The Hee mailed to them, Addresses will be changed as often as requested. May day picnics have long ago gone out of style. With Dr. H)(le it was a “Hoist with his own petard.” Anybody else in the city hall want an assistant to do his work for him? Strawberries have really made a bet- ter fight against the comet than straw hats. case of After all, one of the surest ways to get peace is to speak softly and carry a big stick The Telephone-trust still complains of a scarcity in hello girls. Why not raise their pay? It has remained for a Californian to take refuge in a comet-proof cave. Where is Kansas? They may crown him with their for- eign titles all tleey please, but to us he is ‘still “‘the colonel,” Ot course, if Mr. Bryan prefers to talk for prohibition in a brewery an- nex, that is his business, Wonder if our local weather man does not know that the coal in the bin has long since disappeared? Atlanta makes much of its desira. bility as a place of residence, but som how Charles W. Morse does not like it there. —_— The Chicago man who leaped to death from the thirteenth story of a building doubtless thought the twelfth was not unlucky enough, —_— A Baltimore packer declares that bysters that have been in cans for nine years are good. Let him show his sincerity by eating them. If that Haytian Voodoo had only thought to come to the United States with his comet pills he might have found a much larger market, — Lincoln and Waukesha have two things in common-——their mayors are both named Love and they are noted for water—the cities, not the mayors, The Ak-Sar-Ben initiation team is beginning practice. Prospective Ak- Sar-Ben initiatives who are wise will take notice and undergo physical ex- amination. —_— If there is a fight to be put up against the proposed increase in rail- road freight rates throughout the west, count Omaha shippers being in on the firing line. —— Charles W. Morse is elated at the acquittal of F. Augustus Heinze, which was to have been expected, and his faith in his ultimate release from prison hds been strengthened. The juror who cast the deciding vote to conviet Dr. Hyde on his own testimony must have been thinking of the scripture, “‘But those things which proceed out of the month come from the heart; and they defile the man.” The World has it figured out that “what New York needs is a demo- cratic administration at Albany,” ad- ding that the present one “is drunk with power.” With the Honorable Fingy Connors, or the Right Honora- ble Charlie Murphy, at the head of things cne may well imagine that the edministration would not be drunk, at least not on power. l The triad of arch-traitors heading his list are the three democratic state senators from Douglas ecounty, who have committed lese majeste by refus- ing to take orders from Fairview. No one disputes the fact that these sena- tors are and have for years been no- torfous corporation cappers, them with previous malodorous legis lative records. But notwithstanding 11 that, Mr. Bryan during their last campaign came here and pleaded for votes for these three disreputables sim- ply because they had been nominated on the same democratic ticket that carried his own presidential electors. Does Mr. Bryan know anything about this delectable trio of which he was not fully advised two years ago when he championed their cause and went good for them? What have they donme eince they were elected to the legislature the last time, that they were not expected to do? Is it not a fact that they were slated for nomination by Mr. Bryan's political | managers for the express purpose of | getting the corporation and brewery vote for the democratic ticket, with- out which Mr. Bryan would not have had even the empty honor of carrying his own state? The cards in the democratic deck re said to be stacked for the renomi- | nation this year of several members of the discredited Douglas delegation which disgraced us in the last legisla- ture. | Will Mr, Bryan ask democrats to | vote for or against them if they are nominated, Or will he again shut his eyes and hold his nose, and repeat his appeals to ‘“vote 'er straight?” To Clean Out the Cobwebs. One of the first things President Taft did atter ecoming into office was to form his cabinet into a budget com- mittee to scrutinize every item in the estimates for government expenditures as a step toward economy and soon after he decided upon a thorough read- justment of the various departments of the governm The two moves rightly go hand in hand, both making for economy and progre: out this policy a provision has been inserted into the sundry civil appro- priations bill authorizing the employ- ment of experts to do this depart- mental housecleaning. It is to be hoped that the presi- |dent’s wish will be complied with by | congress and that this work may be set |on foot and completed without serious delay. In some of the departments methods are in vogue today which were pursued in thei infancy of the republic. They are time wasters and money con- sumers, cobwebs that should be swept aside for modern businesslike pro- cesses, ‘The president’s plan, it is un- derstood, contemplates an -expert for each kind of work, one on whose spe- cial knowledge he may rely. He pro- poses to let these experts go into the various departments and weed out every form or method that is obsolete or antiquated and supplant it with the most modern business system even if in so doing a head or two falls into the officlal basket, although that will not be the main object of their mission. Comet and Commerce. Crop conditions are steadily improv- ing despite the comet. Sclentific measurements prove this to be @ fact. And as the crops always have an in- fluence on trade the latter is showing | greater activity than it did a fortnight ago when the agricultural outlook was not as good as it is now. Undoubtedly crops, particularly wheat, have been materially injured by tlie unseason- dble weather, which most people are prohe to attribute directly to Halley's comet, giving it a commercial distine. tion quite as great as its astronomi- cal, but the coming harvests if the present forecasts based upon investi gation, may be relled upon, will not be as poor as wag feared. The east {8 showing a remarkable | degree of confidence and perhaps the fact may be taken as indicating that the United States is in a state of transi- tion from an agricultural to an in- dustrial country, for irrespective of the farm, industries are displaying a strength which not even the repressive influence of the king's death has been able to check, This condition is en- | couraging for the stability of general | business and points unmistakably to a departure from the hypnotic spell of the stock market, a change decidedly for the bétter. The east knows that whether any particular section of the west ylelds a normal crop or not, the total will enable business to hold its own and keep up with {ncreasing de- mands. Chautauqua Campaigning. The chautauqua was stituted some twenty-five years ago as a system of popular education, a means of extend- ing to the masses instruction best ob- tained in the academy, college and uni- versity and it comprised a course of lectures in the summer and home study in the winter. More recently the tendency has been to transform it into o publie forum for private profit to a very large extent, while the educa- tional feature is lost sight of in the commercial and political, The practical benefit of the chautau- qua as originally conducted was not open to question, but whether it is edi- tying for political spelibinders to use this powerful means of exploiting their favorite nostrums before the public two of | | To (‘nrw‘ |that it affords men opportunity for in instead of being a source of expense to them as formeriy. But the most serious objection to the chautauqua as now. conducted by some of the syndicates is not primarily creasing their incomes, but that it de- grades the origipal function from genuine education to agitation. The influence of this must inevitably be felt upon the public mind. The shrewd promoter is not enmough concerned | about the gospel his circuit rider preaches, as he is over the question, Can he hold an audience? Actual worth is too apt to count less than horseplay for the gallery. Banks and Emigration, The heavy emigration of farmers from western and northwestern states into Canada is being laid partially at the door of western banks that have loaned money extensively on farm land, unintentionally fostering a baleful sys- tem of land speculation. The efflux of farmers into the Dominion last year was unprecedented and the banks have come to realize that perhaps their policy has had a contributory influ- ence. % The fact is the man who owned land in one of these states has had ample opportunity of selling it off to new- comers at fancy prices and he has taken this money to Canada where he could buy new land for a much smaller figu But the objectionable feature o the tramnsaction is the stjmulating force to this emigration. ast year 103,789 persons went from the United States to Canada, while only 57,930 large number of the American emi- grants were farmers, but the statisti- clan says that the rule has been for the merchant and blacksmith with whom the farmer traded to follow him acrosg the northern boundary. A Chicago banker is authority for the statement that many of the financiers of the west realize their mistake in ob- serving so free a policy of loaning money on farm land and that from now on they propose to tighten up. The last report of the comptroiler of the currency disclosed the fact that bank loans generally in the west have expanded abnormally in the last year, but as all business has been in a healthy condition this might be possi- ble and yet indicate nothing ons way or the other as to the wisdom of farm loans. Of course it will be necessary for banks to continue a fair pelicy in this respect in a country that is growing as rapidly as is the west and the deli- cate problem will arise in differentiat- ing between land speeulation and legi- timate farm development. Spirit of Decoration Day. Mayor Busse of Chicago is the re- cipient of general commendation for denying a permit for the Gotch- Zbyszko wrestle on Decoration day. The day was not set apart as a holi- day for the selfish aggrandizement of such | highly commercialized sports as wrestling, and it is not right that true homage to patriotism should be capi- talized into dollars and cents by those enterprises whose ‘‘squareness”’ at best is serlously questioned. If the promoters of these contests will not willingly recognize the spirit of the! day, then it is time they were forced to and it is the duty of those in official positions to show them the light. Nebraska is one of the states that enforces the observance, or at least | prohibits the desecration of Memorial day through legislative enactment and its citizens do not regard it a hard- ship to turn aside from recreation one day in the year to acknowledge their debt to the soldiers of the clvil war. It is #sking little enough of the Amer- ican people in the light of the immor- tal blessings which these veterans be- stowed upon posterity to have them devote one day in 365 .to honoring their heroes in war. The wrestlers ought to let this oc- casion teach them the lesson to go slow in challenging public patience. They have already pushed their busl—{ ness to the ragged edge of public tol- erance and if they do not exercise more commolr sense professional wrestling will reach the point of pro- hibition where boxing is in most of the states, What republicans, either regulars or insurgents, may expect from the democrats may be gathered from the resolutions promulgated at the Furnas county democratic love feast, which | attack Congressman Norris, the recog- | nized leader of the house )nuur;entu,‘ even more vehemently than they at-| tack “Uncle Joe" Cannon. Demo- cratic ring leaders will always encour- age dissension within republican ranks, but when the crucial point is reached they always find some pretext for g™ng preference to dyed-in-the- wool democrats, Nebraska creamery men are oppos- ing any change in the federal oleo law which would permit the marketing of colored oleo by making the tax on it the same as on uncolored oleo. Inas- much as we have a Nebraska law which is absolutely prohibitive on the sale of colored oleo, this state cannot be so directly concerned classing Senator “‘among the progressive in its news account of the White House confer- ence, the World-Herald now tries edi torially to take it back and insists that | After | Butkett came from Canada over the line, and a |/ | they | Bee to 15 The decision in the Omaha water works case ulready argued before the supreme court of the United States has not yet come down, and only one more sitting of the court {8 scheduled before adjournment for the summer. If we do not get returns on the water works case in the next batch of opinions handed down the chances are that it will be deferred at least until October, as the supreme court seldom holds specfal sessions. Could Horace Greeley have had the range of jackpots in mind when he ad- vised young men to go west? In Pittsburg they start as low as $81, in Illinois they get up to $900, while in California they are said to run as high as $265,000 And still no one has told what has happened to create an emergency de- manding an extra session of the Ne- braska legislature since last January, when Governor Shallenberger publicly declared that no such emergency existed. A Spectacle for the Gods. New York Sun. The earnest solicitude of the democrats in congress over the possibility that all the measures advacated by President Taft may not be enacted s one of the most af- fecting incldents of a highly Involved political eituation, \ Act of Pessim! Washington Herald. Wo do not belleve the new Knglish monarch should be judged too guickly. All sorts of dire predictions were made when Wilhelm 11 ascended the German throne. But that strenuous cmperor has more than made good with a big G. Kicking the 8t. Louls Globe-Demacrat. After making prohibition a new ‘‘para- mount,” Mr. Bryan now finds Nebraska to be part of the enemy's country. This may mean that he will let somebody elso get the candidacy in 1912, as he did in 1904, but he may have something to say about the nomination in 1816. He will be only 56 years of age at that time. — When nt Was Abroad. Boston Transcript. When General Grant was in Berlin he de- clined a review tendered In his honor. He had seen so much of military life, and been in so many pitched battles that such dis- play of mimic warfare bored him. He avolded salutes py wearing civillan olothes, and the officer of the guard at the Berlin palace who was reprimanded for not ren- dering him the honors due his rank and station excused himself by saying that he never imagined that the plain gentleman who entered by the public gate was the il- lustrious visitor. Exce Frelght R Philadelphia Record. The manufacturers of the country will have the country behind them in their pro- test against an excessive advance in rall- road frelght rates. The advances already made by western' and New England rail- roads seem to BE out of ‘proportion to the advance of wages of employes which the in- creased frelght and passenger rates are in- tended to offset. It Is all right that the ralroads should earn enough morfey to pay thelr way. There should be no kick against fair rates. The great desideratum at the present time is to secure from the railroads an abandonment ®f secret rates and ar- rangements by means of which they un- Justly discriminate between persons and be- tween places. As common carriers they should sell thelr transportation at a com- mon charge for ¢ommon service rendered. H is the fallure toydo this that arouses just resentment. A chunk of advice culled from the ex- perienced Senator Depew and circulated among the solons of Washington has some value as a check valve for high feeders [ elsewhere. The senator probably tended more banquets than any ancient now hobnobling on the Sunset highway “Ot course, It is fatal for any man to at- tempt to eat all the courses and drink all the wines served at a modern banquet,” said the senator. “He should eat sparingly and exercise discretion in drinking. First a man should learn what wines he can stand without disastrous after effects. Having found something that he can drink safely he should stick to it and refuse all others Some men can drink still wines freely, while a single glass of sparkling wine will knock them out and vice versa. The thing for a man to do Is to find out it he can drink one kind of wine with reasonable safety and trw no others.” Senator Depew at dinners and banquets refuses cocktails, sherry and light wines and drinks only champagne. Senator Elkins, who 18 engineering the passage of the railroad bill through the senate, refuses to be perturbed or even ir- ritated in debate, reports the Washington Times, Insurgents or democrats may talk them- selves black in the face, may heap protest great good humor of the West Virginian never falls him. A& a matter of fact, this good humor is the most disconcerting factor in the railroad debate. The other day Senator Dixon told the senate that he had approached Senator Elkins and asked him what rights & cer- tain amendment had. ““Why, we have the votes, my boy, that is all there Is to it,” Senator Elkins Is re- ported to have replied. “Can’t you take a joke?"’ Senator Elkins asked the Montana statesman, when he rose to explain the matter to the senate. Occasionally some insurgent baits the West Virginian into a rejoinder on the issue of the railroad bill, but this is the excep- tion. Once in @ whila & democrat provokes a spirited rejoinder from Senator Elkins, but this is even less often. At a request of Postmaster General Hitch- cock, Senator Penrose, chairman of the senate committes on postoffices and post roads, has introduced a bill providing that after December 31, 1910, letter carriers In cities shall deliver mail only to those houses which ate provided with recepta- cles to receive letters and papers. Letter carriers wrste about one-half their time in ringing door bells and. wait- ing for some one to come and take the mail. Consequently if every house is pro- vided with a mail box or a slit in the door a carrier can cover about twice as much territory as he does now. The cost of providing houses with these receptacles will prove very slight, and they will result in lessening the danger of losing letters. Judge Walter 1. Smith Is not only one of the best debaters In the house, but he i3 also a stumper from way back. When he is doing his turn on the hustings, relates the Washington Post, his audlences are al- ways large and enthusiastic. More than that, the judge himself becomes go enthu- slastic in his subject that he is oblivious to many things that happen: The judge usually wears a frock coat and a string tié in his make-up. He car- ries his handkerchief in one of the coat pockets, in the tall of the coat. He had started off to speak In the town hall one night and found that he had no handker- chief. Rushing upstairs he grabbed a nicely| folded white object out of gthe bureau drawer and shoved it into the accustomed repository of his kerchief. When the judge had use for his handkerchief he reached around to the pocket, and, drawing it forth, would shake It sharply, causing it to snap like a Whip. In the midst of his speech on the night lm question, he got excited and the per- Talks for people who sell things Another man who believes in qual- ity and in advertising it. Louis G. De. Armand, advertising man in Davenport, Ia., in a letter to Printers’ Ink, of January 26th, says: “Two years ago the Wm. C. H. Heuck Company of this city decided to adver- tise a Wisconsin cheese under the name ‘La Finesse,’ stamped all around the rind with ‘La Finesse. “Of course this allowed for substi- tution for many months, but through short, right-to-the-point ads we have overcome this evil, and know that buyers now look for the stamp on the rind. “We did not' give -anything awa used no coupons, sent out no speclal salesman nor canvassers. We just relied on the papers here to get the business. The copy was right and we have the business. “That this campaign has been suc- cessful is evidenced by the fact that a fow months ago the Heuck Company opencd another branch in Moline, 111, and from the very start, with newspa per advertising, has increased the sales enormously in this new territo: By Judiciously spendiug an average of a month in these papers we have in two years caught the ‘people’ by the palates and pocketbooks, and induced them ‘to buy and try La Finesse cheese.’ The ‘people’ wil} cat cheese it you tell them in the right way Mr. Merchant, the ‘“people of Omaha will “buy and try” your ;,or)dq it you ‘“‘tell them to in the right way.’ They will buy and try chceese, butter, | eggs, tea, coffee, clothing, shoes, hats, dresses, silk, satin, cotton, pianos, stoves, refrigerators, diamonds, gold, silver, real estate and insurance, and will “look for the stamp on the rind” if you will but tell them in straight-to«the-point advertising about your qualities. You cap rcach over 150,000 “peo- ple” who ‘want quality, in & four-inch space for ‘.yo 96 a month in The Bee | three llmea a week. vertise your store fu The ,000 people you can safely bank on the fact that in due time everybody will hear about you. 1t you 3 Pgo. | ple have a way of passing along good news. The fact that your advertisement appears continuously in a reputable newspaper stimulates public confi- dence. Your shop advances step by step in the estimation of tens of thou- sands of people who may be months getting around to make their first pur- chase. You can talk to 150,000 people any day of the week through The Bee and make your talk as personal as you wigh. You need not employ an inter- preter or use a megaphone. Simply talk. That's all. Be sincere about it. Let your words ring true. People will | listen, They like it. Spend thousands a year on rent and electric light and experienced sales-| men and then squeeze out a niggardly hundred or two on advertising; on| telling the people that you have the store and the goods and the salesmen, Il hanging around waiting. A retail | shop that spends $5,000 & year on| rent ought at the very iowest estimate | spend $10,000 a year on advertising. | had at-| upon protest, may charge and recharge the | senator's committee with bad faith, but the | | around the hal. When he got home Judge Smith said to his wife, “I wish, dear, you would be care- ful and leave ragged handkerchiefs out of my bureau drawer.' ‘Why, there were no chiefs In your drawer.” “There weren't? Look at this one." “That isn't a handkerchief, you simple- ton; that Is a white string tle The judge had, In his hurry, grabbed up one of his white ties instead of a hand- kerchlef. Congress appropriates annually $106,000 to furnish veterans of the civil war with artificlal limbs It they need them. The {appropriation was first made in 1891, and since then the government has spent $4,- 300,00 in that way. It 1s now proposed to give to old soldlers their hearing—that 1s, artificidl hearing, If noeded. To that end Congressman Sher- Wwo0d of Ohlo, who Is himself a general of that war and one of the few civil war gen- erals now In congress, and in addition is deaf, has Introduced a bill in congress. The sum of $5,000 is appropriated by his bill for the purchase of electrical devices for deaf soldlers. The sum of $25 is authorized for the purchase of a sultable instrument and 80 for an acoustic instrument of greater power If the surgeon general of the United States, in hls discretion, thinks one ought to be provided. ragged handker- The other day Vice President Sherman stole away from the capitol and disap- peared in one of the rooms of the senate office building. Inadvertently a newspaper man, a friend of the vice president's, step- ped Into the room and discovered the statesman.posing before a sculptor—all the time sound asleep In’ his chalr. It seems that a bust was being carved, and it is said that it is destined for a niche in the senate chamber, but, whether or not, the vice president could stand the strain of & two hours' sitting In rigldity. That is to say he didn't stand it, for he was peacefully napping, according to the newspaper man's story, and he slept right on until the sculptor dismissed him for the day. The sculptor, who happened to be a woman, didn't seem to mind. She could study vice presidential features In repose as well as in activity, It didn't matter to her, so she chiseled along while “Sunny Jim"” dreamed of the base ball game he will see as soon as the rallroad bill is passed. | Our Birthday Book May 18, 1910 James Hamilton Lewis, lawyer, man and orator, was born May 18, 1866 at Danville, Va. Mr. Lewls was a member of congress from Washington, and later transplanted himself into lllinois politics. He has orated once or twice in Omaha. James C. Hemphill, veteran newspaper man familiarly known as ‘“Deacon,” Is Jjust 60 years old. His birthplace Is Due West, §. C, His newspaper fame was gained as editor of the Charleston News- Courler, and he has recently become editor of the Richmond Times Dispatch. Josephus Danlel democratic politican and editor of the Ralelgh (N. C.) Dally Chronicle, is celebrating his 48 birthday. He helped manage the democratic national campaign which culminated Mr. Bryan's third defeat. George E. Pritchett, attorney-at-law offi- cing In the Merchant's National bank building, was born May 1§, 1841 at Utica, N. Y. He is & graduate of Hobart college, and has been practicing law since 1863. He 18 & unlon veteran and was also United States district attorney for Nebraska un- der the first Cleveland administration. Edward F. Schurlg, electrical engineer and president of the Standard Electrical company, was born May 18, 1863, in Ger- many, where he recelved his technical ed- ucation. Mr. Schurlg was city electrician for Omaha for nearly ten years, resigning in 1903 to practice his profession on his own account. states- And Move an Amendment. Chicago Record. ‘While the astronomers continue to assure the public that there is no danger from the tafl of the comet, It may be just as well to cast & hurried glance over vour past life. WANTED-- an ordinary new piano, but you m: change for the Apollo—the greatest the start of all other player planos in its class. These Features in t Your advertising is not a thing| apart from your enterprise. It is your enterprise; a contagion which | you yourselt create and which, if thor- | oughly spread, is as enduring as the! everlasting hills. | Wallace C. Richardson, the well known farm paper representative, re- cently advertised for an office boy. The | ad specified that he must be of good | family, living at home and must have had a good school education. | The Richardson folk sorted the re ‘, turns in the usual blase manner un(ll they struck this: “From the tone of your ad gan‘.-r‘ that you want some sweet little mam ma's boy to work for $4 a week and a five spot on Christmas. But if you! want a live wire with a real ambition to learn the advertising bueiness—one who will stick his nose in everyonc's business and ask questions until he finds out what he ig arter, I am that fair-haired boy." He did not get the job; which be a solemn example to all face and flippant advertisers who they are terribly smart let | tious | think | | {8 the original 88-note player plano. advance of eight years in improvements over all others. fla prismatic fine-toothed comb, find a tri of cyanogen there, but no more than healthy comet needs to keep It active Miss Matilda Townsend, who is soon to be married to Peter G. Ghriy In New York, has fimported & $15000 wedding gown. In order to cut any figure at the wedding Pete will have to wear a suit that cost at least $6. ¥rank Tomski of Bloomfleld, N. J that just as he was hauling in big eel, John Frits pushed him into the Mor- ris caial. The eel struck him in the face with its tail, he got entangled in the line and the hook ecaught in his thumb, but when he got out the eel was in his coat pocket. Frank Day of Jonesville, N C. fs the champlon mall carrfer of the state. His route is twenty-five miles long and n the forty-tive years that he has been in the service he has traveled 57,645 miles. He never lost a malil lock, was never more than fifteen minutes behind schedule time, and more than half the tripfwere made fon foot. Mr. Day is 60 yearsald, When 14 years old he lost his right arm. The recent visit of Miss Anne Morgan, the philanthropic daughter of J. P, Mor- gan, may result in the location at Colo rado Springs, of the Home for Depend ent Children, which she proposes to erect While there recently, Miss Morgan and her party were not at home to soclety, and the real object of her visit was to study the climate and other points that recommended this as an Ideal location for such a home. SMILING REMARKS, Nurge—Doctor, the patient rallied a little last night, and shows unexpected strength this morning. He says he won't take any more of that vile medicine. Dr, Kallowmell—Dear, dear! We'll have to do something to get him out of that conditon,—~Chicago Tribune, says a “You have sold :\erylhlnl except one cow _and one pig? ‘“Yep,” replied Farmer Corntossel. “Why didn’t you let them go with the rest? “Well, some sort of a menagerie to keej mer boarders interested.”’—W Star, we thought we ought to have the sum- hington “When did you discover that you loved sweetheart?” he asked tenderly. ‘When I found myself getting mad every time any one called you a fool,’ swered bluntly.—~Buffalo Exprese. “Who is Jane to marry?”’ “'His name is Bridg “Good graclous, does she carry the craze as far as that?'—C| nd Plain Dealer, Py “I saw a little joke In an almanac tod: ‘ sald the political boss, ‘* ‘where there’ will tharo a way—to break it." " ked his lieutenant. ot me to_thinkin' about the We'll have to think ‘wlll of the D'oplv *~Catholio up a new way to break thai Standard and Times. Lady (In the department store.)~Do you knr statlonery ? Floorwalker—No, madan, we continually walk about.—Life. “Pop, the emergency men of the revolu- tion were .u;\ponfl to be on the spot ina second, weren't they?" !Yes, my son." ““Then when did‘ they call them the Min- ute Men?'—Baltimore American. THAT SHOW OF HALLEY'S, While yet deep darkness lingers, fiohx before 'tis g 1 shan't go into dcmlu In regard to style and stuff. With Venus for a footlight, Father Rigge in the box, Ar, orchestra of roosters, And a pit full of towsled locks, What an inspiration it must be ‘When no curtain interveneth— For that star o throw her searchligh Far up unto the zenith. The view we get s splendid, Unspolled by hats ornate, And that chanticleer-ical orchestra— Makes it proper and up-to-date. We think a hoap of Halley's— She's worth no end of fuss— But wouldn't it make good readin’ What Halley's thinks of us? But when the scenes are shifted, And Halley In the waest, Gives her evening performance, We must try to look our best— T wonder when the curtain lifts Her evening stunt to show us— I wonder, oh, I wonder Wil Halley's comet Anow Omaha. ~BAYOLL NE TRELE. 100 Used Pianos e e We would like to get into communication at once with 100 fam- flles having good planos, which they would like to excnange for APOLLO PLAYER-PIANO You may have had an opportunity to exchange your old plano for ay never have had a chance to ex- player plano made, APOLLO PIANO The 88-note Apollo has 8 years of like range—and it represents an It is alone ha Apollo Alone— The Apolio enables you to play a larger selection or musical com- positions than any other player plano in the world. The Apollo is the only player piano made in which the pneumatic fingers touch down on the key in front of the fulcrum, giving the real “human expression.” ‘The Apollo is the only player plano with the transposing device, which enables you to transpose and to play a composition in any de- sired key to sult any voice or instrument. The celebrated Melville Clark s placed, s an artistic Instrument. FILL OUT THE COUPON and the make of your {nstrument. Plano, in which the Apollo action No better plano is ma mail it to us. Be sure to put in A HOSPE CO., OMAHA, NEB.— i I desire information lookin for & new Apollo Player Plano. obligation whatever, My Piano 1 My Name ls. . g to the exchange of my plano The request puls me under no ) L) ¢ A » «