Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, January 4, 1903, Page 27

years has managed to wheedle a fairly com fortable THE Preparing for Social Swim (Copyright, 1902, by B. J. Rotart.) home town was voted charming conversa wiepinin] R4 sy i tional ability, checked by an indescribable HE SOCIAL COACH is a power be- shyness. In a word, she realizes that she hind the throne in the national pug stepped into a new world filled with so capital. Society needs her. She cial pitfalls and snares. She goes back to knows it, and her bank account her hotel, dismayed, introspective. and sh flourishes accordingly lies awake the rest of the night thinking When a man is elected to congress he it all out has fought but half thre battle. On entering If she is brave to the point of rashness Washington he is confronted by two prob- she recalls something a well known for lems—how to make himself felt in the po- eigner has written about the adaptability litical arena and how to run successtully of the American woman, and vows that the social gauntlet she will stand or fall on this quality Should he be placed on an important I1f she is wise she appeals to a coach committee or score a telling speech during The coach is a woman rich in knowledge his first year in house or ~.,|..”' he feels of Washington customs, of good family, that he is really in the running, and, ex well bred, well groomed and well gowned. cept in rare instances, he works out his Perhaps there have been financial reverses political salvation alone in her family Perhaps she is ambitious On the other hand his social career js @nd independent. However this may be, largely at the mercy of his wife. Through She must be of the socially elect, and con- her blunders or lack of tact he may lose SCdquently to be approached with due di- that personal, social influence which, iy Plomacy There must be nothing so ple- Washington, as in every capital, is inval- Pelan as a fee, no agreement, no vulgar uable. There's a world of politics breweq Conversation about terms But some day in the afterncon teacup, and 't is a wise 'here arrives in the coach's mail a check, a woman who, newly come to Washington, Nandsome douceur, from her pupil lets the social coach direct the swinging The coace, naving assumed the respoasi- of the tea-ball bility of the lady's social future, goes about The social history of Washington shows Ner work in the most systematic fashion that from presidents down to members of For a while she is almost constantly at the lower house the majority of men have Ner patron’s elbow. The first lesson is, been self-made, or, at least, have risen “Who is who and how shall you greet from humble ranks In nine cases out of them. The right of precedence, how to ten, with their foot on the lowest rung of avoid the iucongruous issuing of invita- the political ladder, they have met and tions—that is, inviting opposing factions to married So a woman whose social aspira- the same function—and a nice discrimina- tions have never risen beyond the presi- tion in greeting are taught For instance, dency of the ladies' aid society or th a hostess may have a gonuinely friendly local woeman's self-culture club, sudde nly feeling for a department clerk, but she finds herself being borne towards social Must not throw info this greeting exactly breakers by her husband's political career, 'he same shade of warmth which she ex- Without much difficulty she assumes her position in the small city where her hus- band holds an office of some importance Later they move to the state capital, wher: they live in a barn of a hotel and she gives regular receptions and is duly interviewed by local reporters. Returning to the home town, her gowns are talked about and copied, her entertainments admired and her favor sought, Small wonder that her husband's pro gression to the national capital fills her with only pleasurable anticipations. En vied by her woman friends and showered with kindly, if usecless, advice, she lends herself to the most fashionable modiste in town and to happy visions of new social orlds to conauer They invade which which first Washington. ory They entertain They are entertained, customary. To do honor to th £he her most elaborat« frock and takes one last complacent glance in her cheval glass. Then the awakening that line receiving women, is necess is occasion dons comes of Passing irreproach ably gowned and groomed, she reads pity- ing amusement behind the few words of perfunctory greeting and the fleeting smile. Tt must be her gown, she reasons, and, having paid her respects, she slips into a corner and studies tne frocks and bearings of these women who know Wash- ington as an open book. She cannot defin« the difference, but it exists. Moreover, she her finds usual volubility, which in her ONGRESSMAN New York tells of of his who is never known to work. He is a accomplished and dig- *'] nified “panhandler” RUPPERT of a constituent most and for many livelihood out of his good-natured tends to an ambassador may personally like porarily under the ban but received by cedence. For such Then, she individual tem of Washington right of official meetings she must too an s50- ciety, pre- culti vate what is known as a “frigid gracious- ne ¥ T'he robe coach “Good overhauls her patron’s ward- frocks, well made, the frocks that absolutely suit the per- of their If small war with this personality, then everything is cast aside. The lady places herself unreservedly in the hands of an artist selected by the coach, and, if quiet elegance suits her style, she must attain it, even though her heart yearns for the fleshpots of Egypt in the form of red and burnt orange. If her coach is motto sonality owner town fashions patron is particularly obtuse handles her correspondence, though it has become essential for a woman really in the Washington swim to have her pri- Yate secretary. Under the coach’s tutelage she cultivates her memory for fac and names, she acquires a sweet gracious- ness with a modification of voice and man- and, the also ner, in fact, goes through a course of social grooming which can be com pared only to that of the young girl sent to a fashionable school for her “finishing.” When the new candidate for social passes successfully the pltile of those who have gone before thorny path and who enjoy trials those who follow, the coach breathes a sigh of relief and feels that she ki gathered laurels in her unique pro favors criticism her on the watching the of fi on, Miss Hagner, at present social secretary to Mrs. Roosevelt, is an almost absolute authority on who is who in Washington at Washington Previous to givng her services to the president’s wife she guided Mrs. Root, Mrs Hanna and Miss Spaulding through th social labyrinth While Mr Roosevelt i a president’s wife to the manner born, sh has fcund M people oflicial Hagner's knowledge of and customs invaluable Miss Hagner was a society girl, observant and popular, compelled by adverse c¢ircum stances to turn her social talent to finan cial account Particularly has she won the regard of the chief executive by her tactfulness and reticence on all subjects bearing on the private life of the Whit House, knowledge of which would delight the public It is reputed that a recent legacy of $100,000 may make it unneces sary for Miss Hagner to continue as arbi ter of Washington's social circle The lesser lights in the coaching line are Miss Nellie Hunt formerly Mrs Hobart's secretary, and Miss Helen John son. These three women are the recog nized authorities, so to speak, though in a quiet way many other women are taking up the business look after the particularly if An experienced coach can interests of the latter several patrons, amenable and the woman who is not amenable should not accept the services of a coach at all Instances there are of women who have traveled the thorny path and found flower beds of case on their own responsibility but their progress was not to be envied When one of these in particular first came to Washington blase society pretended to be highly amused at her hearty, 1 lik you so much; come and sce mo often,” or “1 should like to have long talks with you." But the lady declined to become per functe She lives, as she did in her west- ern home, simply, unaffectedly, hospitably, Gleanings From the Story Tellers himself i of being sent honor," am a work the OMAHA NEWSBOYS n some trim day before The original idea won him his liberty. and less impecunious acquaintances Not Booker T, W long ago he allowed Bacchus to get the better of him one evening, the result being his arrest. Next morning the judge asked hood days him his occupation “Must 1 tell?”" said ““At the plantation the prisoner, u must,” was the magis- he said trate's reply his was rather a poser, staying His but the prisoner knew he must classify man, and very AT way or to jail as a siand the vagrant, chance “Your he finally said with great solemnity, mer of Christmas trees. 1 Christmas every year.' ishington was in Philadelphia recently, and to a group of reporters there he told one evening an anecdote of his boy- where 1 was a slave,” “‘a very choleric old southerner was valet was an was colored hear the aged funny it to Dt GOING AL PURP( TO 2" COW PASTURE VILLIERS AND VIN( ENT SMITH OF BEAVER CITY THEIR ANNUAL CHRISTMAS FEAST, PROVIDED BY THE PAPERS woebegone replies that he would when his old master stormed at him. ‘“‘Dagon,’ the master said, ‘you are good for nothing. You are a rascal. You are a numskull. By gad, Dagon, I wish you were in hell.’ “‘1 wish I was, sah. I wish I was,’ Dagon replied.” - Female suffrage sometimes leads to amus- ing mistakes. A candidate at a recent elec- tion in Australia, where the women have votes, tells a story in this connection. The constituency was a seaport town, and one of the burning ues before the electors was the question of berthage rates A woman voter came to him and asked whether he was in favor of imposing these berthage rates, because if he was she would take good care that neither her husband nor herself would vote for him A little discussion of the matter revealed the fact that the woman was under the impression that the question of berthage rates related to a poll tax on babies. That candidate now doubts whether the average female voter is not under a delusion, or, perhaps, say, a spell, B Not pont long ago George W. Perkins, J. Morgan's partner, noticed the Russell Sage poking his cane about gutter the corner of Broad and streets, reports the New York Times Mr. Sage and ked looking for master in finance buying a newspaper 1 cent in the gutter, and it duced me poverty."” “How that be?" kins with surprise “Why, don't you see, it nyless man,” kled the dean of street he strolled away, apparently as if hed made a lucky turn Pier- aged in the Wall He him hurtied what he The past While over to was as replied: dropped a has actually re- to can queried Mr. Per- makes me a pen- the as for chuc he thousands happy a few himself, Thomas B. Reed ap- prec Joke his expense. Here is a story illustrating how well he liked a Sarcasti ated & at own umkop witticism Flashlight by a Staff Artist O Yel even if he was its target One day he was browsing in Guild's dingy book shop at the foot of the capitol. He took up a number of books, and finally the novel “Seruples.” “What is the price of this?" asked Mr Reed ‘A dollar, sir,”" replied the old man rather tartly “Too much,” said Reed laconically, and laid the book down. “Well, sir,” retorted Guild, who has a sharp tongue of his own, “I don't know of any law you have passed that compels you to buy it if don’t v-ant Besides, 1 don’t see what a member of congress wants you to of a book with that title, anyway."” Reed broke into a hearty laugh, and a he rolled down the avenue he was still smiling at the old man's reply When medicine lates the man who attention occasion sionally which slgn crape Senator Gallinger in New Hampshire Washington Star, he had was a worthy fiction. On calling profes residence was practicing his home, re a coach ‘character of the : of was Dr at a any writer one Gallinger house next displayed a of death A and to a black passerby on was crape as a noticing the who had died ther was the hous could give the de coachman seemed personal affront style not Dr and his sired information take the and bristled “I don't “It's not killin".! Then avoid knowing supposed Gallinger in that coachman The inquiry as a in know,"” of to up martial he retorted killin'—it's promptly rat of our oul he any waiting for with pulled further the the hi suspicion hors« to was the up that out S0 he of to of doctor come hous« badg« mourning of Michigan bellboy it recently The hac The Govervor Bl with a in Chicago York Tribune Wolverine boy In button had the an ex perience Palmer relates the chief executive tried Joke latter thought house New of the with the statl o md she enjoys a large circle friends which she refuses to sacrifice of form, ¢ official ol genuinge on the alta recognized in good circles it is Another woman who nmerits comes from the middle west ingly prefers her Ohio the scething Washington socicty has won on hery Seem quiet home lite fal cauldron rarely joins the When she does, how veritable ovation, of friends through she in to of S0 for she cong ssional colony ever, she enjoys a won hosts charming personality women ferm for her what she has manner is ‘sweet," Generally speaking, who the breakers ahead Official the coach however the woman finds seorns services of cireles are still laughing over an incident which marked last scason's din ners A\ newcomer gave a dinner without the aid or consent of any coach or well voersed friend The result was that the guests, one and all, were affronted by the table arrangement, for they were seated without reference to their official rank. To make things worse the hostess had a new force of servants, ineflicient and ill-trained, and her butler il The of having been taken suddenly by the one first at hand served cold, and as much the caped the peculations the came warm. The affair was brought to a dismal and hopel end by the vent zovernable in a which from room from Nor speed her parting gUests, violent attack of hysteria upon the heels of was replaced SOUPS Wer wine as had es kitchen force on hostess' giving to voiced an un vocabulary temper, the servants drove and the could the because of a which followed her display of temper All this might have bheen saved Judicious appeal to the coach. BUests the dining the kitchen host« by a It was a senator's wife who, having suc. cessfully run the socinl gauntlet, brought upon her head no end of carefully veiled laughter by entertaining the daughter of her husband’'s most powerful constituent, a newly enriched mine owner. The young woman had views of her which no amount of eastern hoarding schools could alter Her hostess pr the heiress to bundreds reception on a patriotic holiday. Tmagine her dismay when the young woman appeared before her arrayed which deemed par ticularly appropriate to the occasion, a pale blue satin decked with of crimson and white No amount per suasion could induce her to ihe vivid, if patriotic, raiment, her Lostess suffered during evening's festivities is a thing not own was to sent at a in a gown she streamers of change and what the to be described in worc Originality is ington Your York, or cecentric the daily a dangerous gift leader of Boston, or Chicago, things have her pape may adopt foster the social aspirations of young men, but in Washington ever on her guard. The slightest ment upon rights of precedenc code which governs sign her into social d and subject her to “frigid graciousness,” from which fate may fortune defend us all! Wash New may do pictures in fads and ambitious let her be infringe- upon the will con in society in he was in earnest. A leaped to the latter's lips, but he restrained himself and turned away “Why don’'t you answer me, young man?" persisted the governor, still bent on having his little joke. “*Don't know that it your duty pay attention to what guests of this hotel say to you?" “1 don’t need have tell duty flared the boy “It's a cinch, any way, that I'm not paid to stand here chew ing the rag with interfering, old women like you.' The boy turned his back on the governor and marched off. When Mr. Bliss had re covered his breath he started after him, and in three dong strides was at his side, discourteous retort you is to the to you me my meddlesome “Shake, young man, shake; you're all right aid he, extending his hand. “You called the turn on me better than it's been done since the day they elected me BOV= ernor of my state.” The Keystone of Good Health is pure food. 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