Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, February 7, 1892, Page 10

AN AUSTRIAN EALTH AGTORY. BY MARK TWAIN. [Copyrighted, 1892, by the Author.] HIS place is the vil- lage of Marienbad, Bobemia. Itseems no very great distance from Anneoy,in Haute Savole, to this place— you make it in less than thirty hours by these continental ex press trains—but the changos in thescenery are great; they are - quite out of propor- - tion to the distance covered. I'rom Aunecy by Aix to Geneva you have blue lakes, with bold mountains springing from their borders, and far glimpsos of snowy wastes lifted against the borizon beyond, while all about you is a gar- den cultivated to the last possibility of grace and benuty—a cultivation which doesn’t stop with the handy lower lovels, but is carried right up the sheer steeps nad propped there with ribs of masonry, and mado to stay there In spite of Newton's law. Beyond Genova— beyond Lausanne,at any rato—you have fora while a country which noticeably resembles Now England, and scems out of place and like an intruder—an intruder who is wear- ng his every-day clothes at a fancy-dress ball. But preseutly, green mountain ramparts rise up, and after that for hours you aro absorbed in watching the rich shadow effects whicn they furnish, and are only dully aware that New England is gone and that you are flying past quaint and unspeakable old towns and towors, Next day vou have the lake of Zurich, and presently the Rhine is swinging by you. How clean it is! How clear itis! How blue itis! How green itis! How swift aud rollicking and insolent is its gait and style! How vivid and splenaid 1ts colors—beautiful wreck and chaos of all the soap bubbles in the uni- vorse! A person born on the Rhine must worship it. Isaw the biue Rhine sweep along; I heard, or mud to hear, an songs we used to sing In chorus sweet and clear, Yes, that is where his heart would be, that is where his last thoughts would be, the “soldier of the legion” who *“lay dying in Algiers,” And by and by you are in a German region, which you discovey to be quite different from the recent Swiss lands behind you. You have a soa before you; that is to say, the green land goes rolling away, in ocean swells, to the horizon. And there is anotber now feature. Here and there, at wide intervals, you have islands, hills 200 and 300 feet high, of a ha)stack form, that rise abruptly out of the green plain, ana are wooded solidly on the top. On the top there is just room for a ruined castle, snd thers it is, every time; above the summit you see the crumbling arches and broken towers pro- feoting. Beyond Stuttgart, next day, you find otber changes still, By and by, approaching und leaving Nuremberg and down by Newhaus, your landscape is humped everywhero with scattered koobs of rock, unsociable crags of a rude, tower-like look, and thatched with grass and vines and bushes. And now and then you have gorges, too, of & modest pat- tern as to size, with precipice walls curlously carved ana honeycombed by—I don’t know what; but water, no doubt. ‘U'he changes are not done yet, for the in- - stant the country finds it is out of Wurtem- berg and into Bavaria it discards one more thickness of soil to go with previous disrob- iugs, and then nothing remains over the bomes but the shift. Thero may be a poorer s0il somewhere, but it is not hicely. A coupie of hours from Bayreuth you cross into Bohemia, and before long you reach this Marienbad and recognize another sharp change—the change from the long ago to to- day; that is to say, from the very old to the spick and span new: from an arckitecture to- tally without shapeliness or ornament to an architecture attractively equipped with both; from universal dismalness as to color to uai- versal brightness and besuty of tint; from a town which seems made up of prisons to a town which is made up of gracious and grace- ful mansions proper to the light of heart and orimeless. It is like jumping out of Jerusalem nto Chicago. The more I think of these many chavges, the more surprising the thing seems, I have never made so picturesque a journey before, and surcly there canuot be another trip of like length in the world that can furnish so much variety and of so charming and inter- esting @ s0rt. There are only two or three streets here in this snug pocket inthe Hemlock huls, but they are handsome. When you stund at the foot of @ street, aad look up the slunt of it you see only block fronts of graceful pattern, With bappily broken lines, aud tho ploasing accent of bay projections and bulconies in or- derly disorder and hurmonious confusion and always the color is fresh and cheery, various shades of cream, with softly contrasting trim- mings of white and now and then a touch of dim red. These blocks are all thick walled, solid, massive, tall, for tkis is Europe; but it is the brightest and newest looking town on the continent, and as pretty asanybody could require, The steep hills spriug high aloft from the very back doors, und are clothed densely to their tops with hemlocks. In Bavaria everybody 1s in uniform, and o wonder whero the private citizens are, ut bere in Bohemia the uniforms ara very rare. Occasionally oue catches a glimpso of an Austrian ofticer, but it is only occasionally. Uuniforms ure s0 scarce that wo seem to be in a republic. Almost theonly striking figure 1s the Polish Jew. He Is very frequent, e is tall and of grave contenance, and wears a coat that reaches to his ankle bones, and he has a little wee curl or two in front of each ear. He has a prosperous look, and seems to be as much respected as anybody. The crowds that drift along the promenade at music time twice s day are fashiouably dressed after the Parisian pattern, and they 1ook & good deal alike, but they spenk a lot of guages which you huve not encountered re, and no ignorant persons can spell thelr names, and they can't pronouuce them themselves, Marienbad—Mary’'s Bath. The Mary is the virgin, She Is the patroness of those curative springs. They try to cure every- thing; wout, rheumatism, leanness, fatness, dngspfll. and all the rest. The whole thing is the proverty of a conveant, and has been for 600 or 700 years. However, there was never 8 boom here until a quarter of & century ago. A Tough Health Drill, If & porson has the gout, this is what they dowith him: Thoy Bave hin out at 5:40 in the morning, and give him an egg and let him look at & cup of tea. At ( he must be at his particular spring, with his tumbler houg- ing &t his boit—and he will bave pleuty of ocompany there. At the first note of the or- chestra he must Lift bis tumbler and begin Lo sip bis dreadful water with the rest. He must sip slowly ana be a long time at it. Then lie must tramp avout thehills for an ot all the exereive and fresh o he takes his tub or B{ noon he has a flnnfir‘fll’. and the rules allow him to turn bim: 100se now and sat- sty it, 50 long a8 he is careful anda eats only suoch things as be doesn’t want. He puts 1 the afterncon walking the hills and filliog up with fresh air. At night he is allowed Lo take throe ounces of auy kind of food he dossn't like, and drink one glass of any kind of lquor that be has a prejudice acmiust; he also 81 one pipe if be isn’t used to it At‘flnm he must be in bed and bis can- dle out. Repeat the whole thing next days 1 doun's see wny advantago in this over hav- luslha gout, -lum is “mn:d'u ndorg dhum‘“ oo u 0, 80 0u bave any yh':l‘lnlhl‘t vhat you value Lgoy on your right, huge | | body. [ wong. want that. They want that the first thing. They make you drop everything that@ives an interest to lite. Their Idea is to reverse your wholo system of existence and make a ro- eenerating revolution. 1f you are a repub- can thoy make you talk free trade; if you re & democrat they make you talk protec. tion; if you are a prohibitionist you havo got to go to bed drunk every night until you get well. They spare nothing, they spare no- Reform, reform, that is their whole 1f a person is an ogator they gag bim; if ho likes to read they won't let bim; if he wants to sing they make him whistle. They say they can cure any ailment, and they do scem to do it; but why should a patient come all the way hero! Why shouldn't be do theso things at home and save the money! No dis- @ase would stay with a person who troated it like that. 1 dian't come here to take batus: I only came to look around. Hut first one person and then another began to throw out hiuts aad pretty soon I was a good deal concerned about myself, Ono of these woutees hero said I had a gouty look about the eye; nexta person who has catarrh of the intestines #sked me if 1 didn't notice a littio dim sort of stomack ache when [ sneezed. I hadn’t be- fore but I did seem to notice it then. A man thav's here for heart disoase said he wouldn’t come down stairs so fast1f he had my build and aspect. A person with an old goid com- loxion said a man died here in a mud buth ast week that had o petrified liver—good deul such a looking man as [ am and the same 1aitials, And so on and so on. Of course there was nothing to be uneasy about, and I wasu’t what you may cail really uneasy; but I wus not_fecling very woll— that is, not brisk--and I went to bed. [ sup- posethat that was not # good idea, because then they bad me. I started in at the upner end of the mll ana went through. Iam sad to be all right now and free from disease, but this does not surprise mo. What I have been through in tbese three weeks would free 4 taan of pretty much everything in hica THE and imprison in & posm, or & ploture, or & song—their adored Waldeinsmkeit, loneli- ness of the woods. But how oatch It! It has not a boay; it is & spirit. We don't talk avoul 1t 1n America, ot aream of it, or sing about it, becanss wo haven't it. Cerlainly (here is something won- derfully alluring about it, baguiling, dreamy, unwordly. here the gloom is softest and richest and the peaco and stillnoss deepest, far up on the side of that hemlook mountain, a spot where (ioothe used to sit and droam, is marked by a granite obelisk. and on its side is carved this famous poem, which is the master’s idea of Waldeinsmkeit : n Gipfeln-ist Rub, ipfein spurest du Kmum oinen Hauch: Dio Vogieln {n 1m Walde Warte nur—-balde Ruhest du auch Tt is raining again, now. However it was doing that before. I have been over to tho Kstablishment and had & tub bath with two kinks of pine juico in it. These fill the room with a pungent and most pleasant per- fume: they also turn the water to the color of ink and cover it with snowy suds, two or chree inches deep. The bath is cool—about 75= or 802 I, and thero is a cooler shower bath after it. While waiting in the recep- tion room all by mysell two men came in and began to talk. Politics, literature, religlon? No--their ailments. There is no other sub ject here, apparentiy. Wherever two or throa of these people are gathered together, there you have it. every time. The first that can got his mouth open contributes his dis- ease and the condition of it and the others follow with theirs. The two men just reforred to were acquaint- ances, and they followed the custom. One of them was built like 8 gasometer and is hore to reduce bis girth; the other was buily like a derrick, and is hero to fat up, as they expross it, at this resort. They were well satistied with the progross they were making. Tho gasomoter had lost a quarter of a ton in ten da nd showed the rocord with pride on his beit, and he walked briskly across the room, smiling in & vast ana luminons way, like a_ harvest moon, and said he coulun't have done that when be arrived here. Ho vuttoned his coat around his cquator cund showed how loose it was, 1t was pretty to seo his happiness, it was so childlike and honest. Ho set his feat together and leaned over his person and proved that he could seo them. He said he hadn't seen them from that point bofore for fAftodn years. He had a haud like o hoxing glove, and o oue of his fingers he bad Jjust found a diamona ring which he had missed eleven voars ago. The minute tho derrick got a chavce ho AND ALL THE REST, that wasn’t nailed thers—any loose thing, eny unattached fragment of bone, or meat, or morals, or diséase, or propensities, or ac- complishmonts, or what not. And I don't say but that I feel well enough; I feel bet- ter than I would it 1 was dead, I reckon, And besides, they say that I am going to build up now and come right along and all right. I am not saying saythiug, but [ wish I bad enough of my disease back to make me aware of myself, and enougn of my babits to make it worth while to live. To have nothing the matter with you and no habits is protty tame, protty colorless. It is just the way u saint feels, I reckon; it is at least the way ho lnoks. 1 never could stand asaint. That reminds me that you see very few priests around heve, and yet, as 1 have already said, this whole big enterprise is owned and managed by a couvent. The few priestsone does see here are dressed like huwan boings, and s there may be moro of them than 1 wmagine. Fifteon priests dressed liko these coula not attract as much of your attention as would one priest at Aix- les-Bains. You cannot pull your eye 10ose from the French priest so long as he is in sight, hus dress is so fascinatingly ugly. A Singalar Climate. 1 seem to be wandering from the subject, but 1 am nos. ‘L'bis is about the coldest pluce I ever saw and the wettest too. This August seems liko an English November to me. Raint \Vh{, it seems to like to rain here. It soems to raln every time there is a chance, You are strictly required to be aicing and ex- ercising whenever the suu is shining, so I hate to see the sun shine because I hate air aud exercise—duty air and auty exercise taken for medicine. It seems ungenutne, out of season, degraded to sordid utilities. tle spiritial something gope from i one ean’t describe in words, but—don't you understand? with that something gone what is left is but eanned air, canned exercise, snd you don’t want it. When tbe sun does shine for a few mo- ments or a few hours these people swarm out. and flock through the streets and over tho hills and through the pine woods and make the most of the chance, ani I have flocked out, 100, on some of thess -occasions, but as a rule I stay in and try to get warm. And what is there for means, besides heavy clothing and rugs, and the polishea white tomb that stands lofty and heartless in the corzer and thinks it is a stove! Of all the creations of human insanity this thing is the most forbidding. Whether it is heating the room or isu't, the expression 1s the same— cold indiffereice. You can't tell which it is doing without goine and putting your hund on it. They barn little hanafuis of kinalings in it, no substautial wood, and no coal. ‘The fire burns out every fifteen minutes, and there is no way to tell when this has happened. On thesa dismal days with the rain steadily falling, it 1s no hetter company than a corpse. A roaring hickory fire with the flames leaping up the chimney—but [ must not think of such things, they makea purson homesick. 'Fhis is o most strango place to get rid of disease. That is what you think most of the time. But in the intérvald, when the sun shines and you are tramping the hills and are com- paratively warm,you get to be neutral, maybe oven friendly. I went up to the Aussichtthurm the other day. This is a tower which stands on the summit bf a steep hemlock mountain here; a tower which there isn’t the least use for, because the view is as good at vhie base uf it as 1t is at the Lop of it. But Germanic peoples are just mad for views—they never get enough of a view—if they owned Moant Blanc, they would builda tower on top of it, ‘The roads up that mountain through that hemlock forest ara hard packed and smooth, and the grades are easy and comfortablo. They are for walkers, not for carriages. You move through deep silence and twilight, and you seem to be in & million-columned temple; whether you look up the hill or down it you catch glimpses of distant figures Hitting without sound, appearing and peariug in the aim distances the stems of the trees, anu it very spectral and solemn and lm- pressive. Now and then the gloom is ac- cepted and sized upto your comprehension in a striking way; & ray of sunshine finds its iy down through and suddenly calls your disap- Gl any kind in leaf or bruach, are things which we have no experience of at home, and con- sequently no name for in our language. At bome thure would be the plaint of iusects and the twittering of birds, and the vagrant breezes would quiver the f Here it is the stilluess of death. This 15 what the Ger- mans are forever talking about, dreamin, avout, and despairingly tryiug te broko in and began to tell how he was ' piling on blubber right along—three-quarters of an ounce every four days; and he was still pip- ing away when 1 'was sent for. [ laft the fat man swelling and collapsing like a balloon, his next speech all ready, you see, and urgont for delivery. The patients are always at that sort of thing, trying to talic each other to death. worst at it, but not guite; the dysueptics are the worst.” They ure at it day and night and all along. They have mora symptoms than more variety of experience, more change of condition, more adventure, and consequently more play for the fmagination, more scope for Iying, and in every way a bigger field for talk. Gowhere you will,” hide where you may, you cannot escane that word liver; you shop, in the theater, In the music grounds, Wherever you see two or & dozen peopie of ordinary bulk talking togsther, you - know they are talking about their livers, - When you first arrive here your new acquaintances seem sad and hard to talk to, but pretty soon you get the lay or the lund and the bang of things, and after that you haven't any more trouble. You look into the dreary, dull eye, and softly say: N “Well, How's Your Liver?" You will see that dim eye flash up with a gin to work, and you will recognize that nothing is required of you from this out but The fat ones und the lean ones are nearly the all the others put. togotlier, and so there is | ( friendless and de overhear it constantly—in' thd'street, in ‘the | graterul flame, and you will seo that jaw be- | sorofulous, bil & now kind, That was as mugh as they felt. able to say, Then they made stethescoplq examination and decided that if anythin, ould dislodge it, & mud bath was the tning. It was a '"f ingenious idea. Ttook the mud bath, and it did dis- lodge it. Here it is: 09T0vR soNG. I ask not, “1sghg heart still sure, Thy oo st AR, iy Falth sneure? 1 ask not, “Dream’st thou still of me? Long'st alway to fly to me?” A, no—butgs e sun tncludeth all T ood A tho Giver, Lsum all these in asking thee, 0 swoothoart, how's your liver? A " For It thy I1ver Whrketh right, Thy faith stanfesure, thy hope 18 brighs, Tholr drenms pea gwoot und 1 their god, Doubt threats'a V thou scorn’st his rod. Keep only thyigestion clear, No othior foe my love doth fear. Rut Indizostion hath the power To mnar the soul's serenest hour— To eramble amantine trust And turn its oert » dust, To dim the eyo w loss ariet, To chill the heart with unbeliof. To banish | Atth. and love, and beil above. lotails are naught to wo st tho surn-gife of the Giver— Lask thee all in asktng theo, “0 durling, how's your livers" Yos, 1t is easy to say it is scrofulous, but I don’t seo tiie signs of it. In my opinion it 18 as good. poetry as I have ever written. Ex- Perts say it isn’t pootry at all, bocause It lacks the eloment of fiction, but that is the voioa of euvy I reckon. I call it good med- ical poetry, and I consider that L am a judge. Strange Stroot Manners, One of the most curtous things in these countriss is the street munners of the mon and women. In meoting you they como straight on withontswerving a nair's breadth from the dircet lino and wholly ignoting your to uny partof the road. At the last ent you must_yield up your share of it D Aside, dr Mhere will be u collision. 1 thiystrange barvarism fist in Geneva vo years o, In Alx-les-Buins, ‘whare sidewalks aro scarco and everybody walks in the streets, plenty of room, but that is no mat- ou are always escaping. collisions by mere quarter inches. A man or woman who is hoaded in such a way a3 Lo Cross your conrse presently without u collision will” ac- tually alter his direction shado by shade and compel a collision unloss at the last. instant you jumpoutof the way. Those folks are not dressed as ladies und \ thoy do not. seem to be consciously crowding you out of the r ey seem 1o be inno cently and _stupidly unaware that thev are doing it. But uotso in Geneva, ‘Fhere this class, especially the men, crowd out men, women and g ks and raiment consciously and intentionally—crowd them off the sidewalk and into the gutier. There was nothing of this kiud in veuth, But here—weli ters the thiy astonismng. Collisions are unavoidable, un less you do ull the yio yourself. Another odd thing -hore tt vagory 15 confined to tho folkk v ¢ the line clothes, tho others are courteous und consid- crate. A vig burly Comanche with all the signs about himt will traoquilly fo into the gutter to avoid him. Ivisa mistake that thero is no bath that will curo people’s manners, But drown- ing would help. Howover, pe veally Bay 1vp3 one can’t look for any amount of deiicacy of feeling o a person is broughtup to plate without a shudder the spectacle ‘0’ women bariessed up with dogs and baul- mg carts, Theswanan is on oue side of the vole, the dog on-the othor, aud they vend to tho work and tug aud pant and strain—and the man tranips leisurely alongside and smokes bis pipe. ‘Often the womin is old and gray and the.wan is bhor grandson. The Austrian national ornitholoxical device ought to be replacad by a graudmother hi nessed 10 & slush cart with a dog. - This the interest of fact. Heraldic a little too much overworked SEICIDE BY PROXY. Latoly one of those curious thinge hap- pened near here which justity the felictivious extravagances of the stage and help us to ac- cept them. A dekpondent man, vankrupt, erate, dropped a dose of stryehnia into a bittie of whisky and wont out i thp dusk fo 'find % hanuy place for his purpose, which was suicide. In a lonely spot he was’ stopped by @ tramv, who said he would Kill him 1f he'didn’tgive up his money. Instead of jumping at the chance of getting himself kifled und thus saving himself the impropriety and aunnovance of suicide, he forgot all about his late project and attackea the tramp in & most sturdy and valisit fash- 1on. He made a good fight, but failed to win. The night passed, tho morning came, and he woko out of nucensciousness 1o find that he had been clubbed nall to death and left to perish at his leisure. Then ha reached for his bottie to add the finishing touch, but it was gone. Ho pulled himself tozether and went limping away, and presently came upon he tramp stretched out stono dead with the empty bottle beside him. He had drunk_the whisky “and commiited sui- cide innocently. 'Now. while tho man who had bee cheated out of his sui cide stood there bemoauing his hard luck and wonderiug how he might manage to raiso moaey enough to buy somo more whisky and poison, sowe peopls of the neighborhood came by and he told them about his curions adventure, They said that this tramp had been the sourge of the neighborhood and the drend of the econstabulary. The inquest passed off guietly and to everybody's satis faction, and thon the people, to testify their Rratituds to the hero of the occasion, put him on tho police, on a good enough salary. and ho is all right how, and 1s not meditating suicide any mora, iere are ail the clements as you remain consciou After a few days you will begin tonotice that out of these people’s taik 8 gospol is framing atself, and next you will find vourself beliov- ing it. It is this—that a man is not what his rearing, his schooling, bis beliefs, his princi- vles make him, he is what his liver makes him; that with a healthy liver he will bave the clear seeing oye, the honest heart, ~the siucere mind, tho loving spirit, the loyal soul, and truth and trust and faith that are based @s Gibralter is based, and that with an un- bealthy liver he must and will have the oppo- site of all these; he will see nothing as it really is, bie cannot trust anybcdy or believe in anything, bis moral foundations ave gone from un him. Now, lsn't that interesting! ' ";hkd" = ivi that there 'wo duys ago, perceiving was lonuthln"y' unusual the matter with me, I weut around from doctor to doctor, but with- they saia they had never seen this mptoms before—at least, not ali of ‘faey had seen some of them, but dif- fureally arvanged. It was 8 new disease, s far as Lhey see. Appereatly, it was | | ‘d 283 of the naivést ablan tale; resists robbery w & man who o be hasu't anything to be robbed of ; does his very best o save his life when he hascome out purposely to throw it away; aud Hoally is yiclorious 1n defeat, killing his adversa in an effectual and etic fashion after aiready hors du combat imsell. Aud now, if you let bim rise in the service and marry the chief of police’s daughter, it has the requisite elements of the occidental romance, laoking not a detail as fur as [ can see, Mang Twars, g e Cook's Extra Dry Iraperial Champagne s uaturally fermentsd; there is nothing iu it but the juice of grapes. Try it. — - Somerville Jourpal: The ocean s very blue, but it isa’t half so much as the ord- inary tourist on the Way to Europe when the oup soa swell beglos to et iu lts work. Dr. Cullimore, coulist to Mo. Pac, Ry, THE BLOOMING KIDS. Freddio Secks Information. A little boy traveling on the Alle ghon‘y Valley railroad on the way to spend Thanksgiving at his Unele John's, enjoyed the ride very mu At lenst Ijudgeso from the way he acted and the questions he asked. A portion of the conversation between him and his mother was something like this: “Say, ma, ain't cars good? “Yes, Freddy,” repliod ma, who was 80 busy reading a novel that she did not notice the singular character of the question, “It's nicer ain’t it?” Much nicer.” There was silence for twenty-threo seconds and then Freddy remarked “0, look at that funny man by the stove. He hasn’t got any nose!” The unfortunate individual referred to had lest a portion of his nasal appendage than ridin’ ina wagon, by some accident. Hush! Fready! L don’t he in surprise. at way.” “Didn’t God have any noses left when he made him?” ‘“Sh! T expect he met with an dert,’ said mamma, talk about it “Do you 'pose it was bit off by a dog?” “Porhaps. il ” He'll hear yon!” ow it?" ae d 3h! you mustn’t acei- “But you mustn’t Now be still dog like our ido?" Juite likely. Now be still or talk about something else?”’ “Did the dog swallow it?™ “Freddy. don't let me have to speak w agair ddy was silent for a minute and a half by actual measurement, when the train stopped. What are we stopping for, ma Ma was interested in her novel and did pot hear. [reddy repeated the question in a louder tone. Vhat are wo stopping for?” “I'or water, perhaps.” “*But there’s water in the cooler, Vs for the engine.” Joes tho engine get thi drink water?” “Yeos. Low?" *0, 1 don’t know. when we get there. any more amma, became again absorbed in © book, and Freddy gave his atten- tion to the lady in the seat before him. He had given ber bair a few pulls when she turned and objected. **Mudam, I'll thank you to keep that child's hands off my houd.” log purdon, U'm surel” replied 1dy’s mamma, as she jorked her oft- ng buck into his seat. ‘‘Freddy what do you mean?” +Only wanted to sce if her hair comes off like yours, | whimpered Freddy. The passengers grinned, and Freddy’s mamma turned pale as she mentaily charged an urdent spanking up to Fred- s ieeount. sently the little irre- sible spoke again: to on Ask Uncle Juhn Don’t bother me “How soon’ll we get to Uncle Johu’s?” **Oh, pretiy soon,” **How =oon?” **About an bour.” “Do you suppose Aunt Sue'll have chicken for dinuer?” “Tdon't know, Freddy. Now I want you to keep still or I'tl have the conduct- you in the baggage car.” re’s that?' front end of the train » “What do they put trunks in tho bag- it for?”! in this car s your Lrunk in the baggage car?” Yes,” thut man’s n the hng “Eyeddy, will you shut up? Just then vhe vetail vendor of peanuts made his semi-oceasional raid on the pussengers, and Preddy » what's got no 91 Mamima, I want pu ‘can’t have me peanuts any. You've been Want some p The peanuts were transfer lap aind during the proc lation in his interior comparatively ddy’s sent,” Then his attention was attracted by the entrance of the brake- wun, who proceed to recite a short speech in some deud language. “‘What did he say, ma?” He announced the name of the sta- won.” “What was it?” “P’'m sure I don’t know.” “Who was it? Does he own the train?”’ “It was the brakeman.” **What does he break?” he train,” T'hen who mends it?” +0, doar, he doesn’t break it; he only stops it. ““But you said he broke it.” “They eall it breaking, “What do they call it breaking for?” 0, dear, you are enough to drive a persoti wild. 1 think Ull leave you at Uncle John’s when I come back.” ¢ looked at his mother with a xpression, He could not under- stund why his thirst for information should be 50 summarily quenched. He had not decided this poiot to his satis- faction wher the train stopped at Uncle John'’s station, and eddy and his mama alighted. - No Ind . Washington Star: She was one of the precocious little people who are con- tinually emburassing their elders, “I am glad to see you go to church ouch Sunday,” said the pastor one Sun- day, “'can you remembe. the text?”’ “*Yes, sir,” *What was mine today?” *Oh,"” she replied with confidence, *‘T snid I can remember them. I never try to.” ————— Baby's cheelk is like a peach, 15 it Madame Ruppert's bleach? No! but baby's mama's cheek * Volumes to its praise doth speak! Call for Mme. Ruppert's book, “How to be Beaut!- ful' of Mrs. J. Benson. 210 &, Ne A GENUINE MICROBE KILLER s KIDD'S GERM ERADICATOR--Cures all deseases because It kills the microbe or germ. 1'ut upand retailed in 82§ and 5 o latior 11 Bout anywhere pro- vl X od to Fred- of their department quiet in Omaha, [ Drug _Company. v Howard Meyerand 1. P. Hiykora, ' South A. D Foster and H. J. Elils. Councll Bluffs CONSUMPTION, Thave & positive remedy for the above diseaso; by its use thousands of cases of the worst kind and of long standiug have beon cured, Indeed so strong is my faith i s efticacy, that T will gand TWO LOTTLES FILEE, with # VALUABLE TREATISE o this disease to any suf- forer who will send me thow Kxpressand ¥, O, address, COMING INTO A KINGDOM! SUPERIOR WWISTONSIY e Great and Gowing METROPOLIS at the HEAD OF LAKE SUPERIOR. S B e i e T g 1 am owner of the polar lights, OF the constant star in the Norther heights, Ohener of hshandr, hipping e trade, Foreatrij, mining andt all things made. Minister, 1 to the wide world's weal, My mexsingers, engines ¢ For Investments in Real Estate. For Manufacfuring. For Loaning Money, FOR EVERYTHING—The Best Piace in America. Superior Real Estate will advance 500 per cent in the next 10 years, i witen | AN) & RIVER IMPROVEMENT C0: vessels of steel, For Merchandising. -West Superior, Wisconsin. that the Behr Bros. & Co's. PIANOS Have attained, and the high praise they have elicited from the world’s MOST RE. ublic long prejudiced in favor ot nt must be possessed of UNCOM NOWNED ARTISTS. from the press and Ider makes, it is safe to assume that the insiram MON ATTRIBUTES. from a MAX MEYER & BRO. CO, Sole Agents, Omaha, Nebraska, Establ hed 1866. Dr DOWNS 18168 Douglas Street, Omaha, Neb. The eminent speclalist in neryous, ¢ o rogistered gradunte in modene. as dipiomas and'e alo W froe.” Correspos trietly private Sundays 19 a. m.to 12 m. Send stamp Lor r priv ertiflcatos sho ki ato, blood, dlsenses. 1 with t L Jossos, impotency. ayph t forlost of vital power, P oF Instruments xant by my nl lew profarred. Omica hours orexpr no o 08 of Life) 8 WOODS ICE TOOLS RUN IRON, ROPE % BLOGCK'S Send for catalogue. Jas. Morton Son Palace Office Building 1811 Dodge Street, % Co., OF OMAHA. ABSOLUTELY FIRE PROOF. NOT A DARK wRCE (g IN THE BUILDING |§ 68 VAULTS. THE BER PERFECT VENTILATION ELEVATOR SERVICE BUILDING. DIRECTORY OF OCCUPANTS: GROUND NAUGLE COMPANY, Telegraph Poles, | Cross Tles, Lumber. ote, MUIR & GAYLORD, Real Estate. CITY COMPTROLLER, F LOOR: OI''Y TREASURER. OMAHA REAL ESTATE AND TRUST CO. J. D ANTES, Rotunda Cigar Stand. WOMEN'S EXCHANGE, FIRST FLOOR: THE OMAHA BEE COUNTING ROOM, Ad- vertising and Subseription Depurtments. | AMERICAN WATER WORKS COMPANY, SECOND 1E PATRICK LAND COMIPANY, Owners of Dundee Place, DR. CHARLES ROSEWATER. PROVIDENT SAVINGS LIKE, of New York MASSACHUSETTS MUTUAL LIFE INSUR- ANC IMPAN OMAHA FIRE INS BUREAU, RANCE INSP TOUN C. HARTMAN, [nspector. | THIRD JOHN GRANT, Contractor for Street and Side- | AY 13, W. PATRIUK, Law Ofices. QUITY COURT NO. L EQUITY COURT NO. LAW COURT NO. 4. J. M. CHAMBERS, Abstracts. WAL SIMERAL. FOURTH NORTHWESTERZ MUTUAL LIFE INSUR- ANCE COMPANY CONNECTICUT MUTUAL ANCE COMPANY. PENN MUTUAL LIFE PANY. RD LIFE AND ANNUITY INSUR- ANCE COMPANY. MEAD INVESTMENT COMPAN VI & HOWARD, Insurance. ) JRAL ELECTRIO COMPANY w RN CAR SERVIOE ASSOCIATION, ANDREW ROSEWATEL, Olvil Englueer. . L. BLACK, Civii Englocer, FIFTH 8. ARMY, DEPART- 3 Offices. NDE! LIFE INSUR- INSURANCE COM- QUARTERMASTER. JOMMISSARY OF SUBSISTENCE MEDICAL DIRECTOR, SIXTH HARTMAN & COLLINS. Cast Iron Gus und Water Pipe. ©. LAMBERT SMITIL . ¥. BEINDURFF, Architect. KEED PRIN i CO. U. 8, ARWY PRINTING OPFIOS MANUFACTUREE> AND CON BOCIATION, | IMERS As-i OFIICE. SUPERINTENI FLOOR. THE EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE 8 € ! W YORIK, ASSOUIATION, N MORTGAGE & T ' BEE BUILDING, ? CLAIMS, Noso and Throut, Oculist and Aurist, DR. h GERANT OULLIMOR| FLOOR. COM- L, ll\uuruuy. LIFE INSURANCE CO., of New York, B W. SIME FLOOR. ¥ JLLIS, AL EN, Dentlst. Arehitect. NER,Agent for Uniteds b lusurance Compiny. JOHN LETHEM, Publisher. OMA A COAL EXOHANGE. KENBERG, Fresco Palntor. MOORE. Roal Estats and Loans. SASH AND DOOR SROUANTS RETALL COMMERCIAL stes Mutua! STAPLETON LAND CO. FLOOR, OHIEF PAYMASTER. PAYMASTER. ASSISTANT QUARTERMAST 0K SMALL ARMS PRACTICR | CHIEF OF ORDNANCE. | E LR OFFICER 5 LOAN & I DEALER INVESTMENT MRIAL ROONS O 3 BEK, Compos- Storcotyping and Mafllug rooms. PON (0., Keal Estiste. SEVENTH FLOOR. LUB. RY ENGINEERS. | LINCOLN CLUB, BARBER §HO! A few more elegant office rooms may be had by applying ot'R. W. Baker, Superintendent, office on counting room floor The UNPRECEDENTED SUCCESS A rogular and ‘Zrontost auceoss ut Consultatfon . w09 p.m. INCANDESCENT ELECTRIC LIGHTS NIGHT AND DAY 4