Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, December 6, 1891, Page 10

AT THE SHRINE OF ST, WAGNER. By MARK [Copyrighted by the Author 1891] 1t was at Nuremberg that wo struck tho {nundation of music-mad strangers that was rolling down upon Bayreuth, It had been long since wo had scen such multitudes of oxcited and struggling people. It took a good half hour to pack them and pair them into the train—and it was tho longest train we have yeu scen in Europo. had been witnessing this sort of oxverionce a couple of times a day for about two woeks. It glves ono an improssive sonse of tho mag- nitude of this bieanial pilgrimags. For a pilgrimage is what it is. The devotees come from the very onds of the earth to worshin thelr prophot in his own Kasba in his own Mecea, It youare living in New Yorkor San Francisco or Omaha or anywhore else in America, and you conclude, by the middle of May, that yon would like to attend the Bay- reuth opera two months and a half later, you must use tho cable and get about it immod- 1atoly, or you will got no seats, and you must cable for lodgings, too. Thenif you are lucky you will get scats in thelast row and lodgings in the fringe of the town. If you stop to write you will get nothing. Tnere wore plenty of people in Nuromberg when we passed through who had come on pilgrim- age without first securing seats and lodg- ings. They woro found neither in Bayreuth; they had walied Bayrouth streots a while in sorrow, then gone to Nuremberg and found neither bods or standing room, and had walked those quaint streots all night waiting for the hotels to open und empty their guests into the trains, and so make room tor these, their defeated brethren and sistors in the faith, They had endured from thirty to forty hours’ railroading on the coutineut of Europe—wilh all which that im- plies of worry, fatigue and finan- clal impoverishment — and all they had got and all they were to get for it was handiness and accuracy in kicking them- selves, acquired by practice in the back streets of tho two towns when other people were in bed ; for back they must go over that, unspeakable journey with their pious mission unfulfilled. These humiliated outcasts had the frowsy and unbrushed and apologetic look of wet cats, and their eyes wero glazed with drowsiness, their bodies were adroop from crown to sole, and all kind nearted peo- ple refrained from asking them if they had been to Bayreuth and failed to connact, as knowing they would lie. ‘We reached here (Bayreuth) about mid- afternoon of a rainy Saturday. We were of the wise, and had secured lodgings and opera soats months in advance, I am not a musical critic, and dié not come here to write essays about the operas and de- liver judgment upon their merits. The little ohildren of Bayrauth could do that with a finer sympathy and a broader intelligence than L Tonly 0 to bring four or five pil- grims to the operas, pilgrims able to appre- clate them and enjoy thom. What I might write about the performances to put in my oda time would be offered to the public as merely a cat’s view of & king, and not of didaetic value. Next day, which was Sunday, we left for the opera houso—that is to say, the Wagner temple—a lictle after the middle of the aftor- noon, The great building stands all by itself, grand and lovely, on high ground outside the town. We were warned that if we arrived atter 4 o'clock wo should be obliged to pay $2.50 apieco extra by way of fine. We saved that; and it may be remarked here that this is the only opportunity Kurope offers of suving money. There was & big crowd in the grounds about tne building, and the ladies’ dresses took the sun with fine effect. I donot mean to intimate that the lagies were in full dress, for that was not so. Thedresses were pretty, but neither sex was in evoning dress, ‘The interior of the building 1s simple—se- verely so; but there is no occasion for color and decoration, since the people sit in the dark. The auditorium has tne shape of a keystone, with the stage at the narrow end. There is an aislo on each side, hut no aisle in the body of tho house, Each ol of seats ex- tends in an unbroken curve from one side of the house to the other. There aro seven on- trance doors on each side of tho theater and four at the but end—elghteen doors to admit and emit 1,650 persons. The number of the particular door by which you are to enter the house or leave it is printed on your ticket,and you can use no door but that one. Thus, Ccrowding and confusion ave impossiole. Not 80 many as 100 people use any one door, This is better than havine the usual (ana uscless) elaborate and fireprool arrangements, 1t is the model theater of the worla, 1t can be emptied while the second hand of a watch es its circuit. It would be eutirely safo, even if it were buiit of lucifer matches, 1f your seat is near the center of & row and you entor late, you must work your way along a rauk of about twenty-five ladies and wentiemen to get to it, Yot this causes no trouble, for everybody stands up uantil all the seats are full, aua the filling is accomplished in a very few minutes, Tuen ull sit down, and you have a solid mass of 1,500 heads makine o steep collar-door stant’ from the rear of tho louse down to the stage. All the lights wero turned low, 50 low that the congregation sat in adeep and solemn gloom, The funcreal rustling of dresses and the low buzzof conversation bogan to die swiftly down, and presontly not the ghost of a sound was loft. This profound and incroas- ingly impressive stilluess continied yet dur- g some time—the best preparations for musio, spectacle, or specch conceivable, 1 should think our show people would have in- vented or imported that simple and impres: ive devico for securing and solidifyiug the attention of an audience long ago; instead of which thoy couuinue to this day to open a performance against a deadly competition in the form of noise, confusion, and a scattered intorest. Fhually. out of darkness and distance and mystery soft rich notes rose upon the still- ness, and from his grave the dead magician began to weave his spells about his discip les and steep their souls in his ench autments. There was somethiug strangely impressivo in the fancy which kept intruding itself that the composer was conselous in his grave of what was going ou heve,and thut, these divine sounds were the clothing of thoughts which were at this moment pussing through bis oraip, not recognized and familiar onos which had issued from it at some former time. ‘The entiro overture, long as it was, was layed toa dark house with the curtaio down, L was exquisite, it was delicious, But straightway thereafter, of course, came the singing, and it does seom to me that nothing can make a Wagner opera absolutely parfeot and satisfactory to the untutored but to leave out the vocal parts. 1 wish I could seon Wagnor opera done in pantomime ouce. Then ouo would have the lovely orchestration un- vexed to listen to and bathe his spiviv o, and the bowilderingly beautiful scenery to intoxi- cate his oyes with, and the dumb acting couldn't mar these ploasures, because there isn’t often anything in the Waguoer opora that one would call by such a violent name as aot- ing; as & rulo all you would see would bea couple of silent Deunle, one of them standing still, the other catching flles. Of course I do not reallv mean that ke would be catehing flies, 1 only mean that the usual operatic ges- tures, which consist in reachiug first one hand out fnto the air, and then the other, might suggest the sport I speak of if the operator uttended strictly to business and uttered no sound. This pre.ent opera was “Parsifal.” Wagner does not permit its representation anywhere but in reuth. The first act of the three occupied two hours, and I enjoyed that in spite of the singing. I trust that I know as well as anybody that singing is one of the most entrancing snd bewltching and moving sud eloguent of All tha vehicles invented by man for the con- Mme. THE OMAHA DAILY BEE, UNDAY{ DECEMBER :¢. 1891-SIXTEEN PAGES. TW AIN. veying of fecling; but it seoms to me that a ch virtue fn song is melody, air, tune, rhythm, or what you please to it, and when this feature is ab- hat remains is a pictur with the tout. I was notablo to detect in the parts of ‘‘Parsif anythink that confidence b ealicid rhythm or “une or melody; one person performed at a time—and a long time, too—ofton in a noble and ofton in a bigh-priced voice: but ho only pulied out long notes, then somoe short ones, then another long one, then a sharp, quick, peromptory bark or two—nad so on and so on: and whon he was done you saw that the information which he had couveyed nad not compensated for the disturbance. — Not always, but pretty often. Lf two of them wonld but put in 6 duet occasionally and blend the voices; but no, they dow’t do that The groat master, who knew so w 4! how to make a bundred instrum n unison aud pour’ out their sonls molodious tides of doi deals only in barron solos when ho puts in the voeal parts. It inay bo that ho was deep, and only added the siuging to his | operas for the sake of the contrast it would make with the musie. Singing! It does seem the wrong namo to apply 10 it. Stictly do- seribed, it 15 the practicing of dificult” and unpleasant intervals, mainly. An ignorant person gets tived of listening to gymnastic intervals in tho long run, no raatter how pleasant they may be. In *Parsital’ thero is n hermit nawed Gurnemanz who stands on the stage in the one spot and practices by the hour, whiie first one'aud then another char- acter of the cast endures what he can of it and rotires to die. 2 ¢ During tho evening there was an intermis- sion of throe quarters of an hour aftor the first act and one an hourlong after the soc- ond. In both instances the theater was to- tally emptied. People who had proviously engaged tables in_tho ono sole catinghouso wore ablo to put in their time very satistac- torily; the other thousand went hungry. The opera was concluded at 10 1n the cvening yooal wight with in sound, or a little later. When we reached hom had been gone more than sevon hours. en hours at$5 a ticket is too much for the money. While browsing about the front yard among the crowd between the acts 1 encountered twelve or fiftcen friends from diffevent parts of Americi, and those of them who wore most familiar with Waguer, suid that “Par- fal” soldom pleased at first,but (hat aftor ono had heard it several times it was almost sure to become the favorite. It sevrmed impossi- ble, but it was true, for the statement came from people whose word was not to be doubted. 2 And 1 gathered some further inform ation. On the ground I found partofa German mus- ical magazine, and in it a letter written by Uhlic thirty-three years ago, in which ne de- fends the scorned and abused Waguer against people like me, who found fault with the comprekonsive abseuce of what our kind re- gards as singing. Ublic says Wagner de- spised “jene plapperude musik,” and there- fore ‘“‘runs, trills, and schuorkel are discard- ed by him.” Idon’t know what a schnorkel is, but now that I know it has boen loft out of these operas I never have missed anything so much in my life. And Unlic further says that Wagner's song is true songs that 1t ‘is “simply omphasized intoned speech.” That certainly describes it—in “‘Parsifal” and some of the other operas; and, if T undorstand Uhlie's elaborate’ German, he apologizes for the beautiful airs in “Taun- hauser.” Verp well; now that Wagner and I understand each other, perhaps we shall got along votter, and I shall stop calling him ‘Wagener on the American plan, and here- after call bim Vogguer, as ver Germaa cus- tom, for I fael entirely friendly now. The minute wo get reconcilod to & person how willing we aro to throw aside little, need- less punctilios acd pronounce his name right. Of course I came home wondering why peo- plo should come from all the coruers of America to hear these operas, when we have lately had a season or two of thom in New York with these same singers in the several parts, aud possibly the samo orchestra. I re- solved to think that out at all hazards, Tuesday — Yesterday they played the only operatic favorite L have ever bad—an opera which has always driven me mad with 1gnor- aut delight whenever I bave heard it—*“Tann- hauser.”” I heard it first when I was a youth, T heard it last in the last German season in New York. Iwas busy yesterday and I did not intend to go, knowing I shouid have an- othor “Tannhauser’ opportunity in a few but after 5 o'clock I found myself free and walked out to the opera houso and ar- rived about the beginning of the second act. My opera ticket admitted me to the grounds in’ front, past the policemen and the chain, and I thought 1 would take a rvest on a bench for an hour or two aad wait for the third act. In & moment or 8o the first bugles blew,and the multitude began to crumole apart and meltinto the thoatre. T willexpluin that this bugle call is oue of the prettiest features here. You see, the theaire is empty. and hundreds of the audience are a good way off in tho tceding house; the first buglo call s blown about s quarter of au hour befove tume for the curtain to vise. This company of buglars, 1n uniform, mareh out with wili- tary step and send out over the landscaoe s few bars of the theme of tho approaching act, pierving the distances wilh the gracious notes, then they march to the othor mx-[ trance and repeat. Prescutly they do this over again, Yestorday only ubout two hun- dred people were still leftin frontof the houso when tho second call wus blown; in another balt ninute they would have been in the houso, but then a thing bhappeaed which delayed them—the one solitary thing in this world which could be relied ou with certwinty to accomplish it, [ suppose—an im- perial priucess appeared in the balcony above them, They stopped dead in their tracks, and began to gaze, in a stupor of gratitude and satisfaction, 'Tho lady pres- ently saw that she must -disappear or tho door would be closed upon these worship- pers, so she returned to her hox. This daugh- ter-in-law of an emperor was pretty ; sho had akind face; she was without airs; she is known 10 be full of common human sympa- thies. There are many kinds of princes, bat this kind is the most harmful of all, for wherever they go they reconcile people to monarchy and sot back the clocs of progress. The valuable princes, the desirablo princes. are the czars and their sort. By thelr mero dumb presence in the world they cover with derision every argument that can be invented in favor of royalty by the most ingenious casuist. In his time the husband of this rincess was valuable, Ho led a degraded ife, he enaed 1t with bis own haud in cir- cumstances and surroundings of a hideous sort, and was buried like a god. In the opara house there is a long loft back of tho audience, & kind of open gallery, in | which princes are displayed. It is sacred to | them, it is the holy of holies, As soon as the filling of the nouse is about complete, the standing multitude fix their oyes upon the riucely layout and guze mutely and long- ngly and adoringly aud regrotfully like sin- ners looking into heaven. They become wrapt, unconscious, steepod in worship. Thero'Is no spectacle ar.ywhere that is more pathetio than this. It is worth crossing many | Ocear= tosea Ti is somehow oot the same | gazo that peoplo rivot upon 8 Victor Hugo, or [ you Niagara, or the bonesof the mastodon, or the euillotine of the revolution, or the groat pyramid, or distant Vesuvios smoking in the iy, or any man long celebrated to you by his' genius and achievements, or thing long celenratod to vow by tho praises of books and piotures—no, that gazo is only the gaze of - intenss ourlosity, interest, wonder, engaged in drink- ing delicious deep 'draughts that rasto good nil the way down and appease and satisfy the thristof a lifetime, Satisfy it—that the word. Hugo and the mastodon will still have s degroo of intorest theroufter whon encountered, but never anything approach - ing the ecstasy of that first view. The inter- est of n prince is diferent. 1t may bo envy ity be worship, doubtiess it isa mixtur of both—and it does not satisfy its thirst with one view or even noticeably aiminish it. Perhaps the essence of the thing is the vaiue which men attach to o valuable something which has come by luclk and not beea A dollar picked up in the road is mor faction to_you than the ninety and nino which you hiad to work for, and money won at faro or in stocks snuegles into your hoart in the same way. A prince picks Up grand- cur, power and u permanent holiday and gratis support by a pure uceident, the acci- dent of birth,and ho stands alwnys before the grioved eyo of poverty and obscurity o monumental represcutative of luck. And then—supremest value of all-~his is the only bich fortune on the earth which is securo. The ¢ Al millionaire may become a e rione statesman can make a vital mistake and bo dropped and forgotten; tte illustrious general can lose a decisive bat- tio and with it the consideration of men; but once a prince always a prince, that is to say, au imitation god, and neither hard fortun nor an nfamous character nor an addied brain nor the speech of an ass can undeify r. By comnion_corsent of all the nations 1d all the ages, the most valuable thing in i3 world is the homago of men, whether de- served or undeserved, It follows without doubt or yuestion, then, thut the most desir able position nossible’ is that of a prin And I'think it also foliows that the so-called usurpations with which history are littered ure the most excusable misdemeanors which wen have committed. To usurp a usurpation at is all 1t amounts to, isn’t it " ROYAL By D) f/\j& BY NATURE® (L WORK NEVER BY CHANCE 7 R %‘\!( (& A prince is not to us what 5e is toa Buro- pean, of course. We have not been taught to vegara himn us & god, and so one goou look at nim is likely to 5o hearly appease our curi- osity as to make him an object of no great in- terest next time. We waut a fresh ono. But it is not so with the luropean, I am quite sure of it. The sume old one will answer; ho pever stales, [izhteen years ago I wus in Loudon, and I called at an Englishman's houso on ' a bleak aud foggy and dismal December afternoon to visit bis wife and marricd dau - bier,by appoinvment. I waited half an hour, and thon they arrived, frozen. Thoy explained that they tad been delayed by an unlooked-for cirenmstance: while pas ing in thd neighvorhood of Malborough house they saw a crowd gathering, and.were told that the prince of Wales was about to drive out, 50 thoy stopped to got a sight of him, ‘I'ney had waited a balf hour on the sidewalk, freezing with the crowd, but were disap- pointed at last —the priaee had changed his ind. 1 suid, with a 00d deal of surprise: 131t possible that you two haye lived in Londou ult vour lives and have nover soen the prince of Wales!"” Arparentiy it was tnei priscd, for they excluined: “Whatan idea! \Why, wo have seon hiua lundreds of times,” They haa seen him hundreds of times, yet they had waited half an hour in the gloom and tho bitter cold, in the midstof o jum of patients from the same asyluin on the chance of yeeing him again. 1L wis a stupefyine statement, but one is obliged to believe the English, 6ven when ttoy suy o thing liko that. T fumbled around for a remurk, aund got vut this one: "I cau’t understand itat all, I I Eaa never seen (ieneral Grant, [ doubt if I would do that ovon to get o wight of hun, with u sht emphasis on the last word. Their blank faces showed that they wou- cu whero tie puvallel camo in. Then tioy aid blundly O courso not. Ho is only a prosident.” Ivis doubtiess a fact that & prince is & per- manent interest, an iuterest not subjecc to deterioration, The genoral who was nevor defeated, the general wno never held a coun- cil of war, the only general wbo ever com- manded a conuecte battle front 1,200 wilos loni, the smith who welded ' to- gother the broken parts of a great republic and re-established 1t where it is quite hkely to outlastall the monarchies present und to \was really a person of no serious cor: Wence to these peoplo. To thom, with s truining, my geueral was onl/ u man aiter ull, while their prince was cloarly much more than that, a being of a wholly unsimi- Iar construction and constitution, a being of no move blood and kinship with men than are the serene eternal lights of (he firmament with the poordull tallow candles of comme that sputier and dieand leave nothing bek but a pinch of ashes and a stink, I saw the last act of “Tanuhauser,” 1 sat iu the eloon and tho doep stillness waiting — one minute, two minutes, I do not know ex- actly how long—theu tho soft music of the hidden orchestra began to breathe its rich, lonje sighs out from under tho distant stago, and by and by the drop curtain partea in the mddle and was aruwn slowly aside, disclos- ing a twilighted wood and a wayside shrine, with & white robed girl praying and » man standing uear. Preseutly that nobl chorus of meu's voices was heard appronching, and from that moment until the closing of the cur- tain It was music, just music - music to make ono drunk with pleasure, music to make ono take scrip and staft and beg his way round the globe to hear it. To such as are intending to_como here 1 the Wagner season next year 1 wish to say, briug your diuner pail wiih you. 1f you do, you will never cease to bo thunkful, ~ If you 4o not, you will find it a havd Gght to save yourself from famishing in Bayreuth. Buy- Feuth is merely w lurgo villuge, and has 1o very large hotels or cating Bouses. Tbo principal inns are the Goiden Anchor and the Sun. At either of these places you ¢an got an excellent meal—no, I mean you can go there and seo other people get it. There is uo eharge for this, The town s Tittered with restaurunts, but they are small and bad, and they are ovordriven with custom. You must secure a table hours beforehand, ‘and often when you arrive you will find somebody oc- cupying it. We have had this experience. We have had a daily sc mble for life; and when Lsuy wo, I include shoals of peoplo. L have tho Impression thav the ouly peoplé who do not have to scramble are the veterans— tho disciples who have boen here before aud kuow the ropes. I think they arrive about a weck bofore the first opera and engago all the tables for the season, My trive have triod all kiuds of pluces—some outside of the town a mile or two -aud bave captpréd only uibblings and odis and ends, néver in any in- stance a complote and satistyiug meal. Di- westiblel No, the reverse. These odds and enda are golug to serve as souvenirs of Hay- reuth, and in that regard their value is not to be overestimated. Pnotographs fade, bric-a- qrac gets lost, busts of Wagner get broken, but once you absord a Bayreuth rosiaurant weal it I8’ your possession &nd YOUF property unuil the time comes to embalm the rest of turn to bo sur nd 3 Somo of these pilgrims here become in effect cabinetsisonbinets of souvenirs of Bay- reuth. It is blidod among scientists that you could examing the crop of » dead Bay- reuth pligrimiywhero 1n the carth and te where ho came from. But I fike this ballast, Ithink a “Heemitnge' scrape-up, at s in the evening, when ulthe famine-breeders have been there and laid in their momentoes and goue, is the quioypat thing you can lay on your keelson exgapt gravel. Thursday~Thest keep two teams of singors in stock for thoother roles, and one of these is composed of thermost menowned artists in the worla, withMaterna and Alvary in the lead. Istippose o doublo team is nocessury ; doubtiess a singlo team would dio of exbaus- tion within a week, for all the plays lnst from 4 in the afternoon tiil 10 at night. Nearly all the labor falls wpon tho nalf dozen head sing- ors, and upparently they ure required to fur- nish all the noise they can for tho money. It they feel asoft, whispery, mysterious foel- ing they ave required to open out and le public know it. Operas are given on Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Thurs- duys, with three days of ostensible rest per week, »ud two toams to do the four operas, but the ostensible rest is devoted largely to rehearsing. It is said that the off duvoted to renc morning till 10 at night. Aro there two or chestras ulso? it is quito likely since thers are 110 namos in theorchestra list, Yesterday tho opera was “Trittan aud Isolde.” " Lave scen all sorts of audienc: at theaters, operas, concerts, lectures, se mons, funerals—hut none which was twin to the Wagner audience of Bayrauth for fixed and reverential attention, abwolute suiliness, and petrified attention to'the ead of au act of the attitude assumed at the beginning of ii. You detect no moyoment in the solid muss of heads an‘d shoulders, you scem tosit with thio de om of a tomb. You know that stirred to thoir pr foundes that th are timos when they want 1o riso und wave bandkerchiefs and shout their approbation, und times when tears are running down their faces and it would bo a relief to free their pent emo- tions in sobs or screams: yet you hear not one utterance tll the curtain swings togethor and the closing strains nave siowly faded out. and died; then tho dead rise with ono im pulso and shake the building with their ap- plause. Every seat is full in tho first ac there is not u vacant one i the last. If a mau would like to bo conspicuous let him como here aud retiva from the opera house in the midst of an aet. It would make him celo- brated. The audienco reminds me of nothing 1 have over scen und of nothing I have read about except tho citv in the Arabian talo where all the inhabitants have beon Luruod to brass, and tho traveler finds thew after ccnturi mute, motionloss, and still retaining the tudes which they lnst knew in life. . Here tho Wagneruudience dress as they please,and s 1 the dark and worship in silence, At ihe the Metropolitan in New York they sit in elare, | they wear their showiest harness, they hum airs, they squeak funs, theg bblo ail the time. In some of ' the boxes ver=ation and laughfer are so loud us to divido tho attention of the house with the st In o large measure the Metropolitau is a showcase fov rich fashionaoles who are not truined in W usic and bave no revorence for it, but who like to promote art and show their clothe s in whom this music produces a sort of divine ecstasy. and to whom its creator is a very deity, his stage a temple, the works of his brain and hands consecrated things, and the partaking of them with eye and ear a sa- cred solemnity{ Manifestiy, no. Then per- haps the temporary ex ion, the tedious traversing of and continents, the pil to Buyreuth., stands explamied. » devotees “would worship in an_at- mospliere of devofion. It is only hera that that they can tind it without feck or blomish or any worldly poilution. Iu this remote vil- lage ‘there are.mo sights to see, there 13 no newspuper to intride the worries ot tho dis- tant world therb s nothing woing ov, it is al- ways Sunday. ' The pilgrim wends to bis temple out of town, sits out his moving service, returns. to his bed with his heart and his soul:and his body exhausted by long h of tremendous emo tion, and he is in 6o fit coudition to do any thing but lic tornld and slowly watber back lifo und strength fof the next scrvice. I'his opera of “Tristan and Tsolds” last night broke the bearts.of nil witnessus who were of tho faith and 1 know of some and haye nearvd | of many who could not sicep after it,out cried the night away. I feel strongly out of place here. Sometimes J feel like the one sane person in a community of the mad: sometimes [ feel like the one blina man whera all others see: the one groping savage in the collego of the learnod, and always, during service, | feel like a heretic in heaven. But by no means do I ever overlook or miu- ify tho fact that this is onc of tho most ex traordinary experiencos of my life. I have never seen anything like this before. [ have never seon anyiking 5o great and fine and roal as his devotion. ‘Parsifal” thoy show operaw again. The otuers went, and marked advarce in appreciation: but I went huating for relics aud reminders of the Mar gravine Wilbelmina, she of the imperishable “Memoivs.”" I am properly grateful to her for her (unconscious) satire upon monarchy und novility, and therefore nothing which bor hand touchea, or hor oya looksd upon, is in- different to me. T am her pilgrim; the rest of this multitudo here are Wagner's, Tuesday.—1 have scen my Last two operas, asoi is ended and \ve cross over into mia this afternoou. | was supposing that my musical rélencration was accom- plished ana perfectdd, because I enjoyea beth of these operas, siggfng and all, and, more- over, ouo of them was *Parsifal: ‘but th ts have disexchnnted me. They say: S I'nati Wasn't singing; that was the wailing aud seranching of third-rate ob- scurities, palmed gff'on us in thoe interest of vconomy. " Wely, T ought ta:haye recognized the sicn theold, sure sign that nas never failed me in matters of art. Whenever [ onjoy anything in art it meaus it fs'yighty poor. = Tue pri- vato knowledgo of this fact has saved wo from going to piecas svith enthusiasm in front of many and manysaehromo. However, m§ days are | rsiug from some time in the | titter, and they | | as | left the rails. base instinot doesbring me profit sometimes ; 1 was the only minWut of 8,200 who got his money baci on thok fwo operas. Mank Twaiy, PR8N AL BLIBLRORI BT b e Van Houten's Gocoa. PLEASE READ THIS. OO Cents a pound for VAN HOUTEN'S OCOCOA (“Best & Goes Farthest”) seems to be high. Let us compare it with the price of Coffee: of good coffee costs at least 30c., makes 31 half-pint cups “ V., H, Cocoa ** S Which is the Cheaper Drink ? "W { RETAIL FRICE 8 per, pound 90c. “l180 SNAP SHOTS FOR THE BLUES, Short and Point)d Tales on a Variety of Topios, THE BEAUTY OF A TYPEWRITER, A Melancholy Record of the **<coop' —Merit Recognized Ro- warded—Profiting the Cold Snap. nd by Dotroit Free Pross: It was at a smal gathering the othar evening when tho talk turned on typewritors, “*You ought to see mine,” said & gontleman wio operates one himself to a lady with whom he was conversing. “She's a perfect beauty, always on hand fresh and clean and uever loses a minute's time, She's & daisy.’ “Does your wife know about her?” asked the lndy. was the answer, “but she nd whors does vhen she fsn’t at w Oh, right 1n the oftico {n a neat little bluck walnut case,” “{ wish I had my a black walout eas your typewriter stav nd's typowriter in was the response, A Russell 8 2o anit Old Huteh Joke. 1tussell Sage thinks te is the most absent wded mau in town, So does ~Old Huteh,” jeat operator. The two met on the sidowalk stock exchange recently, topped long enough to other his clalmto the absént-minded cham- pionship of the world. “\WVhy,” remark the corner of aveiue for e inz up my u in front of Mr. Sage, “I stood on stre and Sixth this_morning hold- fug o stop the L tinger to at's nothing,” satiri [uteh.” “Why, vesterday 1ing [ thought I had come down’ town without my watch and Loulled 1t outof my pocket tosco if I had time to o home and getit. I found I had the time and I went.” ¥ replied “Old How 1ie was Seoopd Tuscarawas Chronicie: Our enterprising neiguibor, Brotoer Creel,has purchased n new pair of shoes. ‘i, to our wealth: may not scom like a' very impor uews, but that, is becanse they huve nover wearied thowr brains and the seats of their 13 in the newspaper business. An experii- 0 of some yeurs teaches us that tho cditor who collects enongh money from delinguent subscribers to buy a pair of shoes in tho sad autumn days is in lock, P, Wo need sloes, Drop a dollar in the siot and see the editor smile, N, B.—If our delinguent sub- seribers are going to let the measly oditor of the Independont got ahead of us on shoes, wo want to know it right away. Money sent by postoiice orde visi. Finally: sud it soon, brethren, ‘The L st Straw. It was a good natured crowd that was in the sumo ear with tho newly married counle, says the Now York Pross, and it took littio otico of their cudJlings and carossings. Mostof them woro apparontly married poo- ple who had been thers themseives, wero therefore charitably incli Ihe turtle doves, however, bacima so intoroster in their billing wnd cooing that they quite forgot the presence or others, and in i short time @ cli- max was reached which led them to sit with a 100t of space between them until their dis- tination was reached. Lighily leaning hor bead upon his shoulder aud lookini up at him out of the depth of a paiv of bix biue oyes she 2d: “Who's swee:f? A hush feil upon the car as she tistened for his answer. Bend- ing down until his mustache almost touched ter brow, he said: “Bote of us.’ Then the crowd langhed, and the carshook so it almost iteward of Merit, Shicago Tribun e: *Jacobs,” said the man- ing ocitor of 113 it daily papor,worly, swhatis tho nam) of oar man down jat Squareville?” “His name is Bohackus,” answerad the us- sistant, “How nu s h are wo paying him?" Something like $40 & month.” “Raise his salary 50 per cent,” said the managing eaitor. “That is all, Jacobs. You can go." Mr. Bohackus of Squareviile was the only onc ot several hundred telegrapic corcespoud - ents who hiad not begun s snecial telogram to the Daily Thunderbolt the nizht boforo in these words: *The clection hero pussed off quictly.” of frofit. Aro A Sourcs freo P with kloptomar v of the retail merchant. Detroit trau) po you ever “Dow't any of them ever come into your place ! asked the reporter in surprise. Sure. Plenty of them. But they never trouble me." “Dou't they “Yes, but that is uo troubie.” “No trouble! What do you mean " “Luean what I say. Weaslways catch thom at it and simply ch them four prices for what they tako, e things Boston such u fr usked Will Her best friend —Yes sayt Young wife—I'hat's just it; ho didn’t say aword, His face turned rod' and ho scowled awfully. Oh, T felt so sad. Her best triend~ And was a5 that! wifo--No, vou goosov; ho wasn't yatall. He'd puta pieco of hot potato into his mouth. Bat, my! wasu't [ fright- ened ! Pranscript: Young wife—I had ovening at supper. 1 1 mo. And what did he he veally so A Question of Finance. Philadelphia Press: *What an accumula- tion of sweels theso littlo follows hoard ! suid a philosopher, contemplating an ant hill swarming with wyraids of tis Aturos. Yos, Isuppose’ they arve guite woalth y from thoir standpoint.” “Do you know by what principle they manage to sccumulate so much " “No, How! “Well, probably because they the printipies of fine aats.” understand ihe Grammar Confuted ew York Press: *T'wo negatives mako an affirmative, you believer” “Yes." “Wall, I don't take anv stock in such nousense.’ “Why not? *Why not{ D'il tell you. Moy duy night I proposed to Mary Jones and she anid no; Tuesday mzht 1 proposed to Jaue Swith and she suid 1o, Thero are Lwo nega- tives for you. If you can mako an afirma- tive out of them you are a botter grammarian than [ am." The Cold Suap. Washington Star: “Whore's vour wagon " asked the woman of the house as the 106 man vang the bell “Haven't any today. a bucket of water!" “Yes: whature y “1'm going 1o se Will you let me have u going to do with itd it out on the front step bere and let it freeze for you. I'ho compuny business is getting pretiy poor, and we .havo ot spoken sioc ol THISCOUE, Painless. Less Pain. No Pain. BAILEY The wonderful loeal anasthetic used only by DR. in relleving hundreds of people of the agony usually existing in hava- ing teeth extracted. By the use of this harmless drug teeth are ex- tracted absolutely without pain or danger, the patient being per- fectly conscious all the time, but the sensibility of the tissue around the place whare applied being entirely gene. No extra charge for using this wonderful drug. $600 A A Full Set of T TR ON RUBBER For Five Dollars Teath Without Pl Dollars Set And a Good Fit Fovery Time, a 08, Removable Bridge Work at prices littlo more than for a rubbes [ work perviining (o dentistry at lowest rates. Gold Filling and ISR s ATTHE NG I ATy Ty B OFFICES THIRD FLOOR PAXTON BLOCK. TELEPHONE, 1088. 16TH and FARNAM STS., Entrance on 16th, The UNPRECEDENTED SUCCESS that the Behr Bros. & Co's. I A NOS I!xn‘v atfain <l.’xtml the hizh praise they have elicited from the world’s MOST RE- NOWNED ARTISTS. from the press and from a public long prejudiced in favor of Ider makes, it is safe to assume that (he insteament must he possessed of UNCOM MON ATTRIBUTES. MAX MEYER & BRO. CO., Sole Agents, Omaha, Nebraska, plute, Lstablished 1566. NO CUREK!: NO PAY. OWNS* 1818 Douglas Street, Omaha, Neb. Many years' expertence. A reguiar graduate in medicine as diplomas show. Isstlll trenting #ith the greatest success all Nervous, Chronle and Private Diseases. A permanant cura gunranteed for Cntarrh Spermutorrioen, Lost Manhood, Seminal Woskness, Nlght Lossen Syphills, Stricturo, and al iseases of tho Mlood, Skin and Urinary Organs. N. B, 1 guaraute ry easo [ undertako and fa to curo, Consuitation freo. Book (Mysteries of Life) sent fres. Otoe hours—v . m.to8p. m. Sun Wam012m Sendstamp for reply. ] N # §\ & & ™ U Letter, v ne Paper.'CHICHESTER GHEMICAL CO. Drugztate. . 1 MADNNE A, RUPPERT oy CHICHESTER'S. RED OROSS ENRYROVA cnu| at MOND BRAND « N ilis in pasteboard Loxe ay 5, et i it e TR s \ Al ALS Ia can have a perfect comp the tie of my Face Lleach,” boy, that I haven't been too #ood in this Consoling I'riend—Wny I am astonished to hear you express any such hope as that. Ex- vlain‘the meaning of it. 7 Sick Fireman—0O well, T don’t believe I'd o enjoy myself abit in the next world ifl didn’v bave a chance to ran toa fire now aund then. cxion The Mean Old Thing! London Thoughts: Husband (kinaly)— My dear, you have nothing decent to wear, have you! \Wile (with alacrity)—No, indeed, I haven't—not a t!ing. I'd be ashamed to be scen anywhere. My cvening dress has been worn tiree times already. Husband—Yes, that's just what I tola Bil- kins when he offered me two tickets for the theater for tonight. [ knew if I took them they'donly be wasted, so I just got one. You won't mind if I hurry off. arding Against Corruntion. Puck: Maid -If you please, Miss Wabash of Chicago, has jus called. Miss Athenin Hubbs (of Boston)—Talke the parrot out of the room, Anastasin,bafors you show her up, I donot wish the bird to acquire any provincial expressions. Why e bidn't 2l New York Woekly: Stranger—You aro the only gentleman in the room. Guest—In what way, sivt Stranger—When I txipped in the danceand went sprawliog on the floor, tearing my fair pactner’s dress, you weroe tho only one in the ro0m who did not laugh Guost—The lady is my wife and I paid for the dross, Why They Don't Speak. A bear in Arkausas was hugging a givl named Mary, wheu o girl named Julia shot the bear doad. Mary was so mad that sne frothed at the mouth, and Julia anda Mary Madame A, Ruppert’s Face Bloach | Can be used alifo time without harmful ef- foct, thouxgh this IS ot necessavy, s when the comploxion has once beon cleirod by it, it 1 50, Yreckios, moth, pimples. blackhouds, cossive redness or oilness. and i fact ull s blemishes wre quickly cradidated by 1. Tt does not take a month, but ina fow duys il ARG X Kin It witl show wond roves One bottle, 23 or throe bott.es for or send Ge for book, “How to be Buautiful.” MME. A. RUFPERT, 6 East 14th S reet, New York. ‘all For sale In Omaha by my representative, MRS. J. BENSON, 210 South 15th Sireet, OMAHA, NINB, A Royn' Koad to Learning, Harper's Bazar. “My boy savs you have not taught him any spelung,” said Mr. Oa- | 7= cuke to the teacho L d “No. Wo only teach tho girls spelling. The | i } boys don’t need it, because when they grow ITlf/{D.‘f NEW co LLAR papers,’’ e up and go into business tuey employ the girls I ( A Sad Misunderstandin as typewriters, An kxperienced Burglar, Tanglo—Heury, you have been mak g your am- ¢ and pay if satisfied. ol News: Young burglar—These spoons alw’t silver, They aro tho cheapest ,. VON MOML CO., % 1 bave Hole Amerlean Agents, Clneinnatl, Ohlo, kind o’ imitation, CONSUMPTION. Ola bury That's lucky. iucky “Yep.~ Take’em along.” Thavo a positive remody for the above disease; by its uso thousands of cases of the worst kind and of long standing have boon eured, Indeed wo strong is my faith “\What fe “The leddy of the house will be afeared Lo inits ecieacy, that 1 will sond with a VALUARL set the detectives artor us, lost they should — Iind them spoons un’ doscribe 'em in th' M ing presents to that girl you call anucnsis. Don't try to deny proof. Me. Tanglo—What proof, pray? Mus, Tanglo—1 found 1 ' your pocket a bily for “ribbon for Lypewriter.” Hoffy's Clothes. Tom Bigbee - I bog your pardon, Hoffy, but what in thunder's the matter with your clothes Hoffman Howes—"My deah were made on the otha side,” om Bigbee—-"Oh! then them the other sida out A Mean v omn. Life: Comedinn—I've bad news for you, fellaii, thoy why not turn AX LOUKAUINS I MAGIOAL BE oves T, Finiples, Fr 5 Mkl i Skin DIRTENTAY 1 it as well take udvantage of the cold suap 10 cut down expenses.” in's Hope, Sick IMireman—I hope my The Boston Courier: PENVSPFPPPPVPVES 93 150 therefore 90c., %0c, “ also e Y s old man: our leading lady, your wife, ‘has eloped witn the bill postor,” Manager—Horrible! How are we ever to get that next town billed Where o Drew the Line., Tha Colonel—You're a scoundrel, sab, of the fust watah, The Majab—1 scohn yo allegution, sab. Thero is absolutely no councction between mo un’ watab, sab.” The scoundrel, sah, I ovoerlook. O Disonses,and ovory bieinish on beaity, L0 be ware 1863 ] ly, madv. Alcejt T reeom P Fis Capl lary Adormment. Bloobumper—What long bair collego professor has. Bloobumper— Yes, those are the Yalo looks you haye heard of. M that Jrugiists Mrs, h v s Duake “UNION DEPOT HOTEL, Corner 10th and Muson Stroets. - Dr. Birney curos o VIGOR OF MEN Easily, Quiokly, Permanently Restored. ‘Wenkness, Nervousness, Debility. and the train of evils from varly OFfOTsOF InteF @xcesses, the results of overwork, sickness, worry, ete. Fuli New class: Provements bullding, new furniture, every thing Hrs flnest location In tho city; all modorn i Btoam Heat: Gus: Call Holls: Hath and Barber 8hop i connection: Flectrio and Cable Cars to any part of the oity, Try us and be con vinced that wo liaye the hest house for the money wost of Chicako. Mates (roum 8,.00 ¢ 0 81,50 por day 93 cups of Coffee, ‘ ‘“V,H.Cocoa! . Sold by every Cirocer S0P rsrssessses! strength, dovelopment, sud tone givon W every organ and portlon ol the body. Himple, natural methods. Immediate mprovewent sen. Failure lmpossible 2000 rofers Book, explanations proofs mailed (sealed) free. Address ERIE MEDICAL ©O,, BUFFALO, M. V. ONLY|EREE seugb. 1 wiil glad) MEN e Genied "VIUKE 10 an) s ellaie st asting Cure.. Ak p JAQUESM.D., 130 W. 6tk 51, Claclunas &