Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, July 8, 1888, Page 4

OMAHA DAILY BEE: TR N T 0T R e R ST SUNDAY, JULY 8 1888 ~TWELVE PAGES. w————————-——_fi—w THE DAILY BEE. PUBLISH EVERY MORNING. TERMS OF SURSCRIPTION. iy Morning Editlon) including Sunday, ER, One Year e . #10 0 for 81x Months ... e 5 00 ot Three the. o't l 2 he Omaha Sunday Bre, mailed to a ( dress, One Year ' 2 00 OMANA OFFICE, NORGIAND 016 FARNAM STREET. New YOuk OrPIcE, ROOMS 14 AND 15 TRIBUNE UL T WASITINGTON OFFICE, No 013 OUITLENTH BTREET. CORREEPONDENCE, Al communications relating to news and adi. torial matter should be addressed to the Eiron OF THE BER RUSINESS LETTERE. All business and remittances should be mddressed to THE DEE PUBLISHING COMPANY, OsANA. Drafts, checks and postoffice orders to be made payable to the order of the company. The BCQ Publishing Company. Proprietors E IWATER, Editor. THE DAILY BEE. Sworn Statement of Circulation. Btate of Nebraska, County of Doglia, Geo. B. Tzachuck, secretary Nehing compal dvmusnln-mm{uwvnr that the metial eireulation of the Daily Hee for the week ending July 7, 1888, was as 0 liows* i Batarday, June 3. ........ooon 10 Tnly RN AT s . " T L 18,024 Average e Eworn to before me and subscribed in my preseuce this (th day of July, A, D., 188, N. B FElL. Notary Pubiie, Btate of Nebraska, T, X of Douglus, (55 Geonge b, TTasbuck, being first duly sworn, deposes and says that e (s secratary of Tho F Publishing company, that the uctual average daily circulation of ' the Daily Bee for the montly of July, 187, was 14,03 coples; August, 1587, s for September, 19 14,540 ¢ 5 coplos; Novemier, A 2687, 16,041 ‘copies; for Junuary, 1584, fen:' for February, 1855, 1 oples: for Marc 2EEK, 19,680 coples: for April, 1888, 18,744 ¢ for May, 1955, 18,181 coples; for Juns, 1858, 10, b o GRO. B. TZSCHUCK. Bworn '?[h ‘(:(‘ me ’ll‘ll\l !Ml)\vfll';nl esence this S0th day of June, A. D, 1868, Lol NP FEIL Notary Public. lbe a cold day when the Ne- braska Chautaugua again invites De Vitt Talmage to address that as- sembly. Tk news from General Sheridan is reassuring. The gallant little fighter is growing stronger every day. The sea air agrees with him. Rus: § and Jay Gould ave out. That may be. But a few months ago Russell Sage was out and Jay Gould was so much the more in. AMERICAN humor has been rec- ognized by Yale collego as one of the fine arts. The degree of master of arts was conferred on Samuel L. Clemens at the recent commencement, and hereafter “Mark Twain,” M. A., wewill appear in bold rvelief on the title page of his books. NexT year France will celebrate the centennial of the fall of the bastile. But the monarchics of Burope one and all are going to boycott the affair, The fall of the bastile was the fall of despotism in France. [t would cer- tainly vub against the n for Russia to make a show of cuthusiusm over that event. Tue work of the conventions of the two greut parties may now be said to be over. Yesterda, notification com- mittee of the republican party called on Levi P. Morton at his home in Rhine- beck and officially informed him of his gelection as the vice presidential nom- ince of the Ch ) convention, WESTERN cattlemen learn with surprise that cattle have been imported into the United States from Mexico ia spite of an import duty of 20 per cent. Asmuch as 1,000 head per week have been sent over the bovder into Cali- fornia, and even as far east Kansas City. This fact would certainly indi- eaie that the wttle business of the west not overdone, und that the profits in the American industry must be considerable when Mexican shippers can pay this duty and the increased railroad freight and still enlize a gain from the transaction. ;Iu.\i( u cattle are not superior to Te xas beel and not equul to the stock shipped from Colorado or Montana., As the im- portation of Mexican beef is likely to eontinue, tho facts would indicate that the demand for beef at home and abroad is not equal to the supply. PROFESSOR Lewis, principal of the ?muhu high school, has, we are in- lormed, been engaged by a Boston daily to write a series of articles on the 1 @uring vacation, Thisiscomplimentary to Mr, Lewis. When Boston comes to Omaeha for an expounder of the great economic issu it is very much a8 if New VYork were to send to Omaha for an art critie, Which side of the tariff Mr, Lewis will champion is problematic, He has shown Rimself t be a master of political econo- mics since the school ma’ams have heen given the privilege of electing our school boards. His usefulness asa po- litical manager has received prompt pecognitioy at the hands of the board, which has raised his salury within less than three ) from $1,500 to $2,600 a year. This affords a striking example of political economy as put into practice under our sy WrrmiN a few years Lake Manawa will become a popular and tashionable Qummer resort, 1t has » natural at- Sractions for boating and bathing which d only the investment of capital and to develop. The people of Council Bluffs have made the start in fmproving the lake and its surround- fngs, but there is much yet to be done. A cheap and rapid trausit between Omuha and the lake must of all things be inuugurate This would insure the attendance of thousands of our people. The banks of the lake should be planted with groves of shade trees in order to make the grounds pleasant and Bttractive. A fieet of safo little steam- ®rs Lo ply about the lake should be put en, and the hotels and restaurants should be conducted in first-cluss style #t popular pri With evening con- perts and an occasional display of five- " works and other attractions’ there is no - geason why this delightiul spot, so near $0 Omaha and Council Blufts, should not §ain a patronage cqual to Spirit Luke #ad the wore distant suwmer resorts, The New School Management. The new board of education sume the supervision to-morrow. of this board will be composed of mem- bers of the old board, it is to be hoped, in the interest of our tem and the taxpayers of this city some of the methods that have prevas within the past twel our public @ months in school radically reformed itism in the employment of teach- itors should anced and discarded. merit alone sh appointment Competency promotion. board to elect its te board has by a resolt rected the secretary to cast the ballot of all membors for the entive list of teach- erson this yes manifest duty of the new board torevise hasty action b; cordance with 1 Incompetents weeded out, and the should be promote iring experience and exccutive ion, in ac- meritorious to the positions The new board will also be expoctel inangnrate sums have been squander s in the purct and experiments There hasbeen al- pensive sitos house architecture. together too much real estate specula- tion connected with our school b its own reputation. notorious collusion to the detriment of the taxpayers. These lagrant abuses are not likely to by the new board to purge itself of the well-grounded discredit which attaches to the outgoing board they cannot hope to enjoy the public con- English and American Manners. Americans who have had their pride hurt and their tempers rufifed by the reflections of English writers on their . will find some relicf in « ticle with the above title by Mr. Higginson, in the July author has had all the experience of travel and associs s ble him to manners of the English people with those of his own countrymen, his quuli- tions for such a task are unquestion- able. and he is a writer whose general fairness all will admit who know any- thing of him. experiences been such as to warrant him in giving wion with English noblemen, enjoying prominence in lit- and politics, ¢ boorish and offengive, and indeed this was the rule with the whole upper with which Mr. come in contact. noblemen in England,” nson, ** whose personal assoc! Inglish socic doubt there arc suys Mr., Higg Awmerican would call high- 1in one may travel a v, and even go derable course of Lon- don dinner parties, without encounter a s The common impression re elass is that it Higmnson bred, but it good deal in $ha arding this ing, but Mr. not habitually of this class are te, brusque, and lack- v which at least rather inconsi ing in that fine courte: tothe American notion isanecessary part of good manners and one of the best ev- idences of hi Nor are the tter of manners con- ty. They are qui common among the untitled i acy women have many defects as the men. Offcnsive- guage is fault highest and » und both men a fined to the nol gifted are not appal a well-hred / No Americ ample, would talk fr common with otherwise A good deul pressions ar inglish ladies. two countries in respect to manners, ob s Mr. Higginson, lies, no doubt, in » or less degree of sensitive- fonal temperament. son points out certain ness in the ng woman in America slementary rulesof man- foundation for 1 good breedin average man learning thos nors which furni even convention public school is one of thes pupil are exacted, for five the minor habits of out- s suchas eleanliness, rough-nnd-tumble in the lodge room forms, where men acquire hubits of po- Without denying to Englishmen cer- ready self-sacrifice and a senso of tico, Mr. Higginson clearly ¢ as Lo munne One feature of t} George William Curtis comment than all the rvest. Thix is the portion relating to immi tion, and which contained the to beware how > Gettyshurg oratior recklossly water our lifeblood.” Mr. Curtis wassolemuly of immigration, said, *is already more that of any othér country triotism feeds historic events But a miscella titude, sprung of man a comnon heart 1o yibr heterogencous traditions, uutions, without te instinotively and assecia- patriotism which is the meral defense of a nation.” Mr. Curtis was particu- larly impressed with the fact thay halt the population of the greatest city in the would have no knowledge of the sublime significance of the national foe- tival commemorative of the declaration of indepeudence, and regarded it as something fér profound concern. And €0 indeed it is, although the great ma- jority of these very people will cast their vote in the same way that Mr. Curtis will next Novembe If, as Mr. Curtis asserted, we are not now, as formerly, getting the sifted grain of European immigration to tnis continent, but grain mixed with noxious weeds and brambles, the fault is with those who ure charged with executing the laws, There has been ample protection provided against the *“‘noxious weeds and brambles,” and thore is no excuse for allowing them to get in, The laws are sufficient, if prop- erly executed, to keep out paupers, criming the insane, and those coming here under contracts to labor, If any of these classes secure a landing on our shores and are allowed to remain here, the fault is with the national authori- ties. In excluding the classes noted the law goes as far as there is reason or necessity for dealing with immigration. There is no danger that we shall dan- gerously “water our life blood” by al- lowing lhonest, industrious and law- respecting people to come among us with the intention of making homes here and conforming to all the conditions of citizenship. We ynot be able to at once fill them with American patriotism. It may take some years hefore they can enthuse with us in commemorating the great events of our history. But there is something else to be done besides teach- ing patriotism, and in this these honest and industrious foreigners can be of great assistance to us, as they have been in the past. They can help us in our material progress, they can add to our alth as a nation, and as they go on doing this, themselves prospering with the gemeral prosperity, they will not fail to absorb sufficient of our patriot- ism to make them in time safe and excellent American eiti= zens, Meantime their children will go to the public schools and there imbibe American principles and a love for American institutions, so that the progeny of these forcigners will rench manhood and womanhood as thoroughly Amerieanized as those who can trace their anc ry tothe Pilgrim fathe There may be some excuse for men with the environment of Mr. Curtis becoming apprehensive that we shall “recklessly water our life blood” and wealken the spirit of patriotism by not erecting a barrier against all immigra- tion, but the great majority of the peo- ple are not expericncing any such fear, They do not see any dan- ger from the annual inflow of half a million worthy peopl from other lands, but, on the contrary, a val- uable addition to the working force and the wealth-making power of the nation. There is room enough for all such, and will be for many years to come, while as to patriotism it is in greater danger from the apathy of native Americans than from the ignorance of foreign ele- ments, unless it should happen that these generally surrendered themselves as completely as most of them have done in New York, to the control of one political p: VOICE OF THE Of the legislative traitors to Van Wyek the Grand Island Independe ys: “If Messrs, Crane, Kobbins and Russell seck vindication let them undertake to be ro-elected this fall.” The Stuart Ledger warns its readers that “in the excitement incident to other issues which will be before the voters of Holt county at the coming election we must not forget that we want to send good, competent men to the legisluture. A senator must be chosen at the next session of the The Hartington Nonpareil is boomin G I, Keiper, of Pierce, for the dems nomination for congress in opposition Hon. G. W. I, Dorsey. Keiper wasa momn ber of the last Jegislature, and made a zood record, on the strength of which, the Non paveil s, he “would be ecleeted our next cony : a8 sure as the sun rises and sots Commenting on the fact that John M. Thurston has beet referved to us *“people’s illustrious statesma adison Reporter wodors when he “became such, =1 never A the people m any capacity, P to snd the late Chicago convention and muke speech that sounded different from his ctions of late years while at Lincolu cngin- eering ation against the people, John has one speech he makes when opportunity offers.” The blind observer of the Schuyler Sun has had his long-distance telescope out sweeping the state and has discovered thut of republicans are decidedly in fave enator Manderson to the United States senate. 1f diligence and un- tiving devotion to the cause of lus constitu- gnition then Senator Man- der doserves that rec rition, He is thouzht by many to be i st man ever sent to the senate fiomn this state," Speaking of the reported move to postpone tne legislative and county nominations until about the flest of October, tne Wymore Union declar cunpaizn is the thing for ropubl party. ‘The party bus a record that ou id the brunt of a long fight with profit. A long campaign gives those who are inclinad to be a httle sore after a nominating convention an oppor- tunity to getover it and to work party en thusiasm up, Let us nominate the caudidate at the August convention,” The Fremont Herald,although democratic, evidently believes in the protection of homo industries, for it exclaims: “Before the river and hurbor bill 1s finally closed up, our con- gressman, Dorsoy, ought to get in a clause for $20,000 or £30,000 for the unprovement of navigation of the Rawhide, Fremont is en- titled to a little ‘protection’ and bounty as well as the rest of thew! The money is ac cumulated there to be stolen, and we might as wet buck as much of the awount that lus been stolen from us as we can ! Thé Lincoln Daily Call makes its first how! in a very strong and maniy against a particular instance of corporate greod s follows: *“The telephone monopoly, with headquariors at Ouiaha, Is encroaching upon the people. Like other exclusive and necessary monopolies 1t is without conscien nd knows nothing but gieod. 1t Proposes now to incresse rontuls t0 %5 por month for each instrument. Azaiust this imposition the peaple of Lincgln cater a vigorous, just protest. ‘L'here is no basis of alculation that il jusify sach a churge pLoBgs are alwost & npeassity i these times, but they are not of 80 much import- ance that men who uso them will submit to this proposed daylight Fobbery. Manager Drake, who passed th wholo winter in Lin- coln lobbying against Wakson's bill in the legislature providing fot a reasonable re- duction in rentals aud -the establishing of uniform rates, has .done an unwise thing Where it is possible every houso in the city should order the telephone taken out Independont capital ean maintain a sy stem and be just in its chasgos,” The Valentine Republiean prints the fol- lowing prophetic acrostic of the verdict of twenty states—933 votes Ne W Yorl, Minn K sota, Neyw 1 ampshire, K A nsas, NoV ada, Rhod E Island, IN diana, O hio, h U sotts, cousin, Main B Cali F ornia, 10 wa, Vo It mont, Michi G an, O is, Pennsyl V' ania, Or I3 gon, Colo R ado. The Grand Tsland Independent comments at length upon the rosistance which the Ne- braka railroads offer to a reduction of rates by the board of transportation, and accuses several boards of trade of makiug them- solves subservient to the corporations. “Promiment among them," says the Inde- pendent, are the Omaha and the Hastings boards of trade. The Omaha and the east- ern Nebraska people generally, in their cgotistical view of the case, don't care how high the railroad charges for goods imported to or exported from the central and western portions of Nubraska are, becausoe they are notsuffering from these extortionate charges. The people of the more western portions of Nebraska have to pay for the railroad rob- bery. The testimony produced by the rail road companies against the reduction of the rates rests on swindio and partiality, and ought not to be considered as of any impor- tance by the board of transportation. But will the majority of the board have the cour- age to decide against the will of the railroad magnates! We shall see. But whatever they may do, the people ought to elect such state officers as are willing and courageous enough to resist all railroad temptations, 1f the people want to be protected, they must protect themselves. And the time of the elections is the time to do it.” —_—— ‘What New York Will Do. Wl Express. New York w settle a good many little things this fall, including Thumbs Gone. Chicagn Herald, How many young Fourth of July patriots are there in the country who can no longer play “Simon says thumbs up?? AN ‘Where He'd Draw the Line. ver Repubiican. Mr. Cleveland sent a substitute to the war, but he does not seem at all anxious to have somebody else fill his position in the white house. —_— In Prison and Out of Luck. Peoria Transcript. It is a little unfortunaté’ for the democrats of Indiana and Illinois that two of their ablest politicians are serving terms v the penitentiary for tally-sheet forgery. o R Democratic Economy. Philadelplia Press, A democratic administration spending ap- propriution bills drawn by a democratic house disbursed 314,000,000 last year—the largest feder The Railroad Octopus. Philadelphia Record. Even the sen nited S pears to be powerless to prevent two companics from permanently disfiguring the bby in the national legislaty Ploasing. Chicago Times, sing to learn that the Chicazo po- lice have not forgotted that Mr. A, J. Sneil was murdered in this eity some months ago, and that the name of the murderer would be recognized by them if they should happen to hear it. . A Counterfeit Noble Roman. Puartland Oregonian. Mr. Thurman is an “Old Roman one of the modern kind, with prinei Hexible and accommodating. The original *Old Roman” wus made of sterner stuff, but he no longer lives to protect the trade mark against coun- terfeiters, —_— Unfortunate Nomination, Washington Crit First Workingman—And who's Thurman? Second ditt prous He's the “old R that's who he is. First ditto—Is he now?! W, we dou't want no durn Eyctaliaus in this country, and T'm ag'in bim, e Disappointment. Chicagn News, #We'll call him Benjamin Harrison,” said the proud Iudiana father when the nurse showed him the chubby infant which was just one hour old. But the nurse laugned and whispered in his car, “Well, then," crowled he, “her mothor can call her some- thing else if she wantsto. I'm not so blamed particular about .t “The Honest O1d Roman.” Burdette. My boy, don't vote for o man simply be- cause he is set down in the midale line of the posters as “Honest Old" somebody. If he is really and truly honest, he won't have to pay 4 bill poster to make it known., Rewember what happened to **Honest Old Dick Tate,” the state treasurer, whose only campaign thunder was his title, It Is well enough to make a candidate stand on the scales now and then and get himself weighed, ——e— How it Affected a Mule, Lineatn Call. Lawyer Munger tells a good story, of which hie Is the hero, At Fremout, where the court house burned some six months ago, @ tewporary court room was obtained by renting a rather respeetable hall, under part of which wi blacksmith shop conducted by the owner of the building, Knowing that the ring of the anyil and other disturbances properly happening 1 @ blacksmith shop might annoy the court, it was wisely stipu lated in the leaso, to which Munger was a party, that if any noise interfered the lease would be null and void, and accordingly events passed along in their usual wonotonous stylo with -no unusual outbursts from below, and the court enjoyed the u and solewnity, Munger was ple case, however, quite recently. He was W ing eloquent before Judge Post and the jury. He was quoting law and making a telling speech. The bailiff suadenly appeared, hand ing anote to the judge. The judge read while a broud smule crept from ear 1o car Munger grew louder’ and the judge’ called time und vead the fotlowing note: “Phe torms of our lease is that if any un secmingly noise is made, such as to disturb the peace cud quiet, then the lease of *this buiidiug as & court room is void. Mubger is making 8o much nofse that I can't shos a d—d onery mule down here, “Tare Brackssirm,' — 'l Vote For Little Ben, BY A SOLDIER I'ma democratic soldier, and in eighteen sixty two 1 shouldered up a musket and put ori a suit o Dblue, And went to meet the crazy men, who thought the rebel ra, A better emblem for our land than our bo- Toved flag. I never will forget the man who led us to the and brains saved many & bloody day; Iscom to hear the musicof his bugle call again, The hero of the Resaca, tho gallant L Away above all politics T love my counts causo, THat man ’s an enemy of mine who tramples on its laws, I know my country 's safost in the hands of loyal men, S0, though I am a democrat, I'll vote for Lit- tle Ben, We captured every rebel rag that floated in the breeze, And flung the starry banner out between the mighty seas, And we proposc that flag shall float to all cternity Above aland where, freedom lives the em- blem of the f Then blow the bugle call again and let the music ring, Down with all politics to-day, America I'll sing, The flag is safest in the hands of tried and trusted men, The democratic soldier will vote for Little Ben, DENOUNCED, Students of Prof. Loisette Call Him a Humbug. Last Friday's New York World, devoted two columns of valuable space to the record of a person known as “Prof. Loisette,”” who has figured extensively as the originator and teacher of a patent system for strengthening the memory. Loisctte, who seems to be an adroit fellow and a shrewd money maker, has taught his system up and _down through th , both orally and by correspond , but always under pledge of secrecy se- cured byrbond. The exteut of his operations way be estimated by the fact that 1,200 of “his former pupils held a meeling in Washington “on Thursd. night to denounce him as a humbug and a swin- dler. ‘Lhe chief instizator of this action oms to be I s lows, of the Washing- on high school, who aftirms that Loisette has availed hifscif of the protection of tho copyright law when no copyright had been sucd to him, and he s that Loisctte's tem, what there is of it, is at least as old as the work of Aristotle, wherein much of 1t appear It 18 further stated on what seems to be good authority, that Loisette’s real name is Marcus D. Larrowe, formerly of Co- hocton, Steuben county, New York, who eraduted from Y college in 1834, and later from the Yale law school. o IMPIETIES. Tt isn't impossible for a real estate agent to be a Christian; but_there is a popular im- pression that ho can’t be o Christian all the week and still suceeed in busine When the contribution box comes around the stingy man takes mizhty good care that his inquisitive neighbor’s left_eye shall not sce what his own right hand doeth. A colored pre i foot on alleged : it. “Dis ting," 1 gentleman was tryir vest pa X ond joint of the duc ation's fr iped up in the may well be, brothier,” observed an old Who lnew the man, ¢ you'd ve your consent to b stated that the cost of making con- to christianity in_Chicago averazes convert. In_addition th this ant and nece: 3 e in contac «0 christian you want to handle 1 as you would a peachiblow vase, One of the brightest and most earnest of students of the Baptist theological semi- Louisville was formerly what is known as a “street falir.” He finds that the experience in lauding the virtues of patent medicines before street crowids has been of great help in developing his oratorical powers for the pulp tev. Whangdoodle Baxter (endeay ing to comfort the sick womanj—Hab pi- tience, Aunt_ Sukey, and eberyting will joss come ‘around all right. Aunt Sukey—You asy taligin’, What' Twants ter know is, what I has done to hab all dis sufferin’ put on Some ob de meanest folks dies as casy a chile, but it mos’ kills me ter die, The two smail kids were saying their s Christmas time coming and n praying the Lord to send Lim a wooly horse and a gun and everything he could possibly The otner on hegan to ery: Pl ma, stop Johnny, praying for everyihing for himself and von't leave anything for God to send The small son of a Baptist cle i cently had his first pair of boots. They v somewhat hard to get on, and he tu and twisted for’ some tin where they should be. ma! Didn't they go on hard me near saying devil,’ but then 1 remembered papa has told us we' must not take the name of the Lord our God in vain.” R The Rattiesnake's Bite, The Washington Star s stutement that 50,000 or 40.000 reptiles kept in one room at the Smithso- nian sends chills down the bucks of ne nous people. S0 many snakes, lizar and toads let loose on the smooth lawn of the park would cause some exeite- ment. However, only five of all these reptiles have any life'in them, These five are five rattlers, who are kept in a deep hox with a wire top and a vigor- ous poking and punching with a stick starts the music in their tails, When the five are soundinn their rattles together they fill the box with nerve shocking sounds, The other L4995, or 40,000 minus i s the exact number may be). are seeurely corked in glass rs in aleohol and arranged on shelvos like cans of presery Thoe curator of reptiles, who is experiment- ing in search of itidote for the poi- son of a reptile’s bite, told a Star re- porter yesterday that it not true that they had yet discovered anything that they knew certainly to be bé anti- dote, Mar from having satisfactorily codcluded their experiments they con- sider that they have practically just be- gun. They have tried every alleged antidote that Las been suggested the least probability of suc- and the only thing y bave found that ~has cecided in any degree is fluid e juborandi, which is made from South Americ ilocarpus pen- natifolius. The of this is Pilocarpine. This has proved to be an antidote in the ¢ rabbits sub- jected to the rattle » poison. Wher tne snake poison b ninjected into the rabbit, followed at once or within a short tirue by an injection of this drug the animal has v vered. But it has been found to possess 1o ¢ cy as an antidote in the cuse of a chicken poi- soned by the vegom of the. rattler. A full application of the drug has never yvet resulted in saving the chicken's 1i They intend to try iton turkeys and pigs. JUSTICE QUITE CONFIDENTIAL, She Whispers Into The Bee's Ear Some Interesting Stories, JOE SOUTHARD'S ANCIENT BILL. Sheriff Coburn and His Newly Ap- pointed Bailiffs—The County IPhar- macy and Its Painstaking Phare macist~Mount's Grumbling. Justice's Talk. Tho tolephone girl said Justice on the court house wanted Tire Bee to call on her, Tne Bee i3 nothing if not polite. Accordingly, on the evening before the Fourth, it flew through the corridors of the building, t flirt oung men and women clerks at the water filter; past lazy professional jurymen waiting fora job in the story above, then up into the “well,” out th h one of the win- dows, and then up to the very lips of the motionoss godde The latter heard the buzzing and said: I'm glad "ou've com I'm going to tell you lots and 1 don’t care if you give it away. But, mind, don't ask me any questions, You wearied the life out of me the last time,” and the old dame wrinkled her wrinklety face as1f she had just had a dose of carly crab-apple. GRUMBLERS, ““T'his building has the largest lot of dissat- isfied people in the world. There aren’t two of them who agree. The county employes kick because they do not get as well paid as the “roomers.” The “‘roomers’ are the em- ployes in the oftfees rented from the county by the city, Well, the roomers get good pay. There is not a clerk in City Clerk Southard’s who gets less than $120 per month. There is no clerk in the county troasurer's office who gets more than £100 and there is no i the office of the county clork Lo wets more than €60 per month, That accounts for some of the kicking. ALL FOR 10! Say did you ever know @ Southard to buy 3 cigar. Tknow you don't drink. But he retty shrewd all the same. Joe Was one deputy county cler Tt was be- fore your time. He did some ‘extra’ work, It was work which he should have done. Well, he put in n bill for £350. That bill has been before the commissioners since the days of Kmight and three times have they sat uj But what do you think in the last ex- st’ George Timme and fresh ones of Mr. Mount the fraudulent ilowed. Mr. Mount made a good be- ginning, you see. And Southard didn't set up the ¢ ! Well, I thought as much. O'Keeffe got us about it. He said that suthard had county money which did not long to him, He'introduced a resolution authorizing suits to be brought against those who were o wing money to the county, and intended Southard should pay his money back. But I there lost track of it. (O] “Coburn, T think ineral was goin recommend putting the pris because, hefore the mecting was held, Co burn and Mount held a conference, which explains Mount's cuttle-fish tuctics of mud- dying the water (o make his escape from con- sidering a question which would be injurions to his contidential companion. In' other words he was satistied that Coburn should not_be prevented in bleeding the taxpayers by charging honest workingmen’s board for bread and water served o tramps and cuts throats.” A CONUNDRUM FOR COBURN. ay, T wish you'd ask the judies why sev- fellows around here are deputy sheriffs . You sce, the courts require five bailif's, sach of these bailiffs is entitled by law to #2 per day. He is also entitled to wages as a deputy . But these dual gentlemen collected pay only deputies. Sheriff Ci burn, I am told, collected the balliffs | I think you will find it in his pocket. 1 il find he has made o handsome thing from these bailiff fees in the three years, nearly that he has been in oftice. Tt is only recently that he has had four bailiffs, but he has never had less than tw, ugy act on the part of the juage of rom $4to §10 profit per day, v THE COUNTY PHAL “This cure-all sitor, It is in charge of an ed Zimmer, ) men 3 imer isn't such a e w v, Zimmer beca ‘Blue 1B Andc ction with the pharmacy br v wonth. O the_count He proseribed of cal be put up in thirty-two powdc fused to compound the | D He said it yuld tuke all day. , without the ine preserived, died. The pharma The cost of supplying the county ith medicines is greater now than it the pharmacy was establishied physicians are compelled to send their proscriptions to private druggists, where somebody can be found to put them up. ZIMMER'S WORK. ing of Zimmer reminds me that he per moath for trying to find son do. He was first deputy county clerk, but zot rid of him. He the took Ma s place while that t wa Hot Sprin He has, smee Moran's return, been bumming around the buildi Please don’t tuke exception to my langiage in a bad vd. Anderson wanted placed the tax-list foree, but Koche fu nderson then raised the salaries of those engaged on the w whiciu would give Ul i, but Zim- wer is 1ot in WANTS TO MOVE ON A PAIN “Mount’s grumbling s wearisome. He lns been ra his brains for some ex pedicnt by which the county may be com clled 1o pay him $1.50) i year instewd of duy aud mileage, The former sala ose who been cleeted under th Mount. being one of the hold- like O'Keefe, o on before he'can get the new SAR! Pmosadd She sang And_all the #80 are w The manufacture of co as bocowe 8o perfected that squeczing a girl is ubout as satisfactory as hugging the sittingroom tove. A troune of Russian musicians, who play twenty-f r planos siwultancously, is con 4 10 this country Lhere is still thue Lo reach the Woous. To a woman of stan ug asik her what o thinks of the husband e near potting enga iple of years before she married hin A man w gets to the railroad s 8 his train i Ry At the oth nd y ssant little chat “the wan at the ticket windo Sinola vocently, and addross House, ( Rabbits, St The foreman of @ large printing house in Chicago received the following noto from the wife of one of the me in his employ: “Please to ezgscuse my husban for not coming to work to-day. He is d Mauy storckeepers and merchants put up | odd sizns when they move and to It their customers know where J One was noticed the other duy readin JThis store was :uoved across the streot.” A Miunesota man painted his house phiosphorescent paint, and the Tour'five companies smashed all his windows and drenched his ¢ , and the erowd g Ay with aboi t diawonds and | e | sar shon, bought a ¢ and threw a bad sixpenceon the co was hurriedly departi \en the dealer ed ufter him: *Hold on, hold on, it's pur Jaser, a8 he ¢ ) 1l smoke it anyhow." What shail 1 do ™ asked the new waiter. 1 Lave put new sugar on them pies loft over from yesterday, made over the but ter seraps, turned the ‘tablecloths and put new dressing on the lobster salad.” HWell,” } said the proprietor, *:1 guess you'd better put fresh strawberries’ in those shortcd and sond the old strawberries down 1o 0k for roly-poly y thr al turn o them steaks ln the window, They're beginning to get dry on top,” The Seventeen Year Loousts, The scventeen yedr - locusts, whicl made their first serious raid ‘in this country in 1854, and reappenred {n greater numbers in 1871, were due thig year and have already arrived in 1llie nois and Indiana, to the great constord, nation of the inaabitants. The follow tng description of the best and its opod] ations are from an castern exchange: 4 . The seventeen-yeap locust is g larga insect which is bormy lives and dics without traveling much, In 1851 they made their appearance in Efinghanm county, Ill. They came from the ground in such numbors that the holes or porforations out of which they camo were 80 thick as to almost intersect one another. Even the margins of pretty hard roads would show the clean cut holes of the travelers bound for daye light. Reaching the surface, the dirte brown adventurcr carefully folt its way to the first perpendicular object—woed, shrub, h\NS\. or trunk of tree. Crawle ing up a distance of six or cight inches, its’ feet wero glued fast to mhatover it was clinging, and then of a sudden, and sometimes with distinguishable sound, a space of over an inch opencd along the back, and out of this soon cameo the full-winged locust, propared to fly, to sing and to dio. The timbed tracts were the homes of the ephemeoral visitors, and their united song was paine fully monotinous, varied only by cae dences of a rise or lull in the breozod Whilo eating nothing themselvos, ex+ copt folinge and tender parts of shooty of trees and shrub, thoy were, neverthoes less, eated with avidity by hogs, 1t did not take much imagination to discover a well defined letter “W” on the wings of these locusts at that time, and by tha wiscacres of the day that was inters preted to be a sign'of war before tha next locust coming. The female locust is supplied with a ‘‘chisel,” and is also born with a knowledge of how to use it. Tha ‘‘chisel,” or sting, as_somo call it in those days, was a half inch in length, attached to the undor part of the body and extending backward. It was thg size of a stout needle, nearly as hard, and terminated in a sharp point, Take ing position on the \mnl!nr side of tho twig selected for puncturing, the locust would “‘back up’ until an incision wag made downward and inward nearly half inch; then moving far cnough ahead for another, it was made in tho same way, and so on to the end of tha twig, with almost mechanical proeision. The cggs depotited were oval-oblong in shape, white in color, and about the sizg of a clover seed, Under the invasion of forcign substances the twigs die and break olt. While on the ground the larvm hatch fromt the eggs and crawl into the ground, where they thrive and grow for seventeen years. Reaching maturity, pupa emerges from the ground, climbs up the nearest tree or shrub and attaches itselt to the bark. Then itd back splits open and the winged insect works itself outto liberty, leaving tha lifeless caso attached to the tree. Within an hour or two from the tima the bug crawls out of the ground and up a teec the locust is in perfect shapa to begin its work of destruction. Tha insects hatch out in the evening usu- ally, and when the farmer wakes up 1 the morning he finds his fields. orchardy and L‘ru&is covered with them, They aro numberless, and there is no use to try to fignt them, ——— A Stroke of Genius, Detroit Free Pres: he was a woman of ready resource. While the hour was lute, two or three evemng visitors yet tarried, and the moment she heard her husband strike the she knew that -ho was boozy, and also grasped her line of conduct. “1la, ha!” she laughed, as she rose, he cometh. He has been out rehears- ing for amateur theatricals and it will he just like him to try to show off, talces the part of Major Springer, wha comes home full A hand was heard clawing over the L key was finally jabbed in the \d then the major entered. H his knees wab- nd he hung to the door and piuts 2 zhis 1 shee “ore me? Shay, zer doing, eh?” ahtful! splendid!™ cricd the she clapped her hands. *Whyg youare a grand success in you What zhat! Whazzer lafiin *bout? rst time been zhrunk in two year: i lizzle time wiz zho boys, you utiful! Booth couldn’t ber Vexclaimed the wife, *Why, doar, roa born uetor, L% just as natus **Who shays I'm a liar. Whoop, T n lick any man in ’troit! Been out hoys, you know! Shay. Em'ly?"”? ‘the natural, though?” veplied . “Run up stairs, Harey, and your clothes, You'il do. Noth- ould he more perfec (hic) closes! No, zur! Chaza p ‘es, g0 up shiairs, d (hic) nize, Em'ly, Regular angel. Been out wiz boys, you and the little woman clapped her hand and laughed and praised, and got rid of her company under the impress sion that no one had smelt amice. Hows ov the last ou was hardly oft the step, when she bounced upstairs and confronted the beda man with the exclamation: ““Now, then, you old demijohn, pres pare to get the worst walloping a fool of u husband was ever treated to!” Aund he got it. St They Were Twin Brothers, A fow nights agon well-dressed young man, about eighteen ws of age, stepped into a prominent Muin streot aurant, said he was broke and nted to go to work, says the Butte Mont.) Inter Mountain, The 1 night clerk wus instantly struck this declaration, together with the appearance of the young man, and snid: “You botter quit your fooling and get inside and peel those potatoes you started at,” don't helong h why, what's the matter with you?” returned the st 3 “What! Ain’t you the hoyt hat’s been arking for us the past ye: erk, *No sirv, T am not.” “Well, you are liis ghost, then, for if younin't ihe dead image of John Poner that works for us, I'll eat my hat.” SPoner, did you say?’ askea the young wan, beginning to get a little nervous, 4 me see him. That's my name 1 may be he is my brother that I've King for the last six years.” i told him be was busy now, ywi and he wouid send him hoy, who was peeling potas out soon with a large panful in hisavms. Hesaw his brother, dronped the potatoes and the twins fell foudly in cach others’ embrace. . They were wonderfully alike in aps pearance. The brother who has justar- vived is named Philip Poner. They are both from Chigugo. Philip says he has en all over California, Texas, Ari- s and New Moexiea in search of his other to take him back home, and now that he has found him accidentally, the lon, t brothe ke will not - loave, $ 8002 enough fos him