Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, June 19, 1887, Page 10

10 SOLACE FOR THE SIMMERING. Perspiring Pen Drops From Punsters of the Profession. SCREAM AN NICE FEAST. %t Was Pye for the Boarders—Farmer Shikens Scheme to Boom the Med- der—The PFoker Player's Solitoquy, How It Always Works, They tried to choose a jury—twelve honest men to find, |Hshm:=| shed for their absolute vacuity of mind, One candidate was challenged because he _ brought to view Some little trace of intellect -and that would " never do! The next was dropped directly, as quick as you could wink, Because he said when he was young he some- times used to think. The next was turned away In haste without a second look, For he lmpudeutly confessed he once had read a book. It Was Pye For the Boarders. London Truth: From the evidence re- ported of a recent divorce suit some light 19 thrown upon the kissing in a boarding house. A Mr. Pye sought a divorce from Mrs. Pye on the ground that all the boarders in the house where the pair dived had drifted into the habit of kissing Mrs. Pye. Hereis a Mr. Dempsy's evi- dence: "l')‘i'd you ever see Thompson kiss Mrs. 0 ““Lots of time: ; and when I did not sce him [ heard him. ‘There was a plaintive sobbing gurgle about it that reminded me of the exhaust of a bath-tub; it could be heard all over the house.” “When did Thompson kiss Mrs. Pyer “Whenever he had a chance. The only time that he did cot kiss her was when he was not there."” *‘Who did kiss her then?" I did; I liked her myselt.” “Did not Mr, Pye object? “Wny should he? I'don't object to his Kkissing her; there was nothing ‘objection- able about it; it was a mere friendly sal- utation.” “How did you come to kiss Mrs. Pye?"” ‘I put my arms around her neck “and sed her in the usual way.” “Did she ask you to do s0?"" “Well, I noticed that no matter how many times she and Thompson kissed be- fore he went out, she never got enough to last until he came back, for as he opened the door they were atitagain: so, when he was away, I kissed her more as a matter of accommodation than any- thing else,” “Where was Mr, Pye?" *0, he was nowhere in particular.” The Unsophisticated Farmer. **Josier,” said Farmer Slikens to his eldest son, “hev ye in mind ter plant anything on thet ther hillside jest be- yond the medder?’ 'h‘:No' pap, there ain't nothing 'll grow sh almighty. There’s pretty nigh onto twenty acies thet ye can get nothin® onto but rocks,an them wasallers there.” “We might sell it.” “‘Can’t be sold. Nobody won't have it Yo pay taxeson, Ldon’tsee butone way.” “‘What's that, pap?”’ “We'll just have to have it surveyed mto lots and starta town. I'll go and Bee some 0’ them real estate agents and Yuu git a printin’ press and muke things ively with a 10x25 newspaper,an’ maybe we kin git the dinged thing boomed up to a payin’ basis.”” The Teacher's Lot. Tis now the boy in school Dothof hate the teacher's rule, And think of little else than outdoor fun: And there is cause to fear, From all that one can hear, ‘The teacher’s lot is not a happy one. When in the afternoon, The giddy circus tune 1s heard, and all the scholars wapt to run; When calliope doth sound? And monkey go around, & ‘The teacher’s lot {3 not a happy ona ‘When in a distant field Boys see the batters wield ‘Thelr little batsand for the bases run ; And when they fret and pout, And wish that school was out, ‘Tne teacher’s lot’s a most unhappy one. . And when they think how fine "T'would be with hook and line, To sit and fish baneath the nice warm sum; Full well do I know then, And say it now again, ‘They make the teacher’s lot no happy one. Vividly Recalling the lncident. Washington Critic: They were over in the camp last evening, talking about military matters, and war and so on, and the talk drifted around to personal brav- ery, and finally some one brought up the subject of presence of mind in danger. That reminds me,” said the colonel f an accident that' happened when | was but a lad. I wasvery fond of crows’ nesting. One day 1 discovered a nest in the very top of a lofty bull-pine, full one hundred feet high,” Up [ swarmed. In tha nest were four young crows and one egg. It was the work oFa minute to ‘wring the young crows’ necks and throw them out. Then placing the egg in my mouth for convenience, commenced my Jjourney down, It seems but yesterday," said the colonel, softly. *'I looked up; the beautiful biue sky was above me and the crows, whoss nest 1 had despoiled, were wheeling in short eircles, uttering angry cries. Suddenly, without an in- stant’s warning, the hmb on which I was resting broke and Ifell—ninety fect from the top! Ilived a hundred lives in that one moment!” ‘Ihe colonel's voice :l[clllb]cd. He brushed his hand across is eyes, “‘What, you fell ninety feet, colonel?" exclaimed a young subaltern. _The colonel gazed at him compas- sionately. ‘“No, you young ignoramus. ninety feet from the top when I consequently I fell about ten feet, But the jolt | got broke that egg. Bah! 1 can taste it yet.” ‘The colonel gazed around suggestively, and he got something to take the taste out of his mouth, And they all had some. The Judge Had it Planned. Dakota Bell: *Jedge,” said the fore- man of a Missouri jury, “'thar is goin’ to be a hangin’ down” ut Bazoo, day after to-morrow. We 'lowed prob’bly ye'd excuse us as we want to ride down, of wn," roared the judge. *All right, judge, but there's goin’ to be two niggers hung an’ we calkilated it ;vcra customary to let juries off such (R0 Well, doggone it all,” replied the jn_dlgu considerably difllf ed, “'jes' keep still and LIl 'tend’to these things. I'm in' to adjourn court the day before an' 11 all go down and camp out on the E'rmmds over night, Did you have an’ ea that 1 was goin' to miss a hangin® myselt?” / You Don't Seigh, ‘Che horse will neigh, ‘The donkey breigh; Whato'er you dew ‘The cat will mew Aund dog will have his deigh. Goose-Eggs. ‘Washington Critic: Ella—What are goose-cggs in a a base ball match? Charlie—Why inmugs when no runs are made, Why do you ask? Ella—Oh, aothing, I thought they might be laid by the fouls of the gawe, Jou know, . They AN Have It. Boston Transeript: I should like to know," suid the belated suburban passen- ger 10 the station agent, ‘‘why train is late every morning."” down the window. An unex| day afternoon two ladies, store. the smile. i Grinnel Gold Be Quill, Mo Morganville Sunflower, Ravenna (Kas.) Sod House, Santa Fe Trail, Valley Falls Lucifer, Wilson Wonder, Wooston Saw, ville Mallet, fore a justice of the peace ina I liquor, brought along a lar; THE OMAHA DAILY BEE: WOMAN'S EXTENSIVE SPHERE How the Women of To-day are Winning the 8:15 “Because the Smithville way freight s in its wg‘(." What makes the freight get inits way?" he inter-state commerce act,'’ mildly answered the station agent, as he shut “What did the club discuss this even- ing?"" asked the reporter of the secretary of the Jute and Tallow club. “The inter-state commerce act,’’ re- plied the secretary, as he hastily thrust half a dozen clovesinto his mouth. *“*We resolved that the long haul clause should be shortened. Good night." “1t's 1 o’clock,” sobbed poor little Mrs, Fearsome, “‘and I've heard queer noises round the house all night, and you at the club all this time smoking and drinking, Oh, Charles! how could you leave me all alone, and the baby not well, either? “Not been_ drinkin’ 'r smokin', my dear,” explained Mr. Fearsome, as he !nckcd up the boot-jack to take off his lat; been 'scussin’ in'er shtate com’s act.” . An Accompli a Financier, “I had a rather amusing experience of an Irish dea of finunce the other day,” said a pleasant-faced gentleman to a comrade on the cars this morning, “I know him very well, ~ We met on the Al{l‘uct yesterday and he asked for the loan of a then invited me to take a drank whisky. He quarter and received five centsin change. guarter. 1 gave him one, and he drink. Each threw down the smd he, ‘I wanted ‘Begorra,’ to get shaved and 1 hov only foive cints left. Lend me another quarter, woli ye? 1 did so, and again he set 'em up. ceiving the five cents this time his face bloomed into a bouquet of smiles. said he, getting them tin cents.” '’ .On re- *Ah! , ‘I knew there was some way of The Poker Player's Soliloquy. To bet or not to bet? that is the question ; Whethier ’tis better on the draw to lay two pair ) And lose the per cent I see betore me Or to raise the bet with a goodly sum And, by blufling, steal the pot? 'T'o bet, to bluff or more, and by standing pat to win the pot Against three jacks the denler dealt himself From the bottom; ’tis a confiscation Devoutly to be wished. 'T'o bet, to bluff— To bluff! perchance be ecaught: ay! there's the rub, G For if I do he's sure to go one better; And do not catch, may call on threeof a kind, Bo let me pause; That always make pat hands a source of ‘there’s the respect doubt, Forwho would lay two pair, a four card flush, Or o'en ace high against & thnid man’s Two-card draw, three Johnsin hand, did he But know that standing pat would win the ot WltPl ageutloraise? Who would lay his hand T'o tume and sweat when his opponent bluffs, But that the dread of something better, e flush against whose color No two pair called was ever knowh to win, Makes him rather wish to hold the dust e has ‘Than run against a hand he knows not of. 'l!:lma poker does make cowards of us all, or the Rises far above three wanson bullets, And four laughing twos beats any tull ‘That ever dared to fill. And see a four-card flush cast on the board Doth stir the wrath of any pair of kings, In whose proud faith we next time call thrce trays, And m{w the cause of ere the virtue of a modest full But 10 pass a bluft ion. He Was Not a Masher’ New York Mail and Express: Yester- who were pas- sepgers on a south-bound Broadway car, alighted in front of a big dry goods Just after they left, a gentlemen who had been seated next them noticed a plethoric purse on the seat. He picked it up, jumped from the car and hastened after the ladies, who had disappeared within the store. After a brief search he located the Iadies at the silk counter. H&}d approached, and, raising his hat, said: “‘Ladies, I was sitting next you in a Broadway car- “Sir,"” exclaimed the youngest of the ladies, ‘‘what do you mean by this im- pertinence?’ “I did not mean to be impertinent; only I thought you might like to “1 would like to know nothing from you, sir. If you address me again I will call the floor walker and have you ar- rested.’” “All right, 1found a purse afier you left the car, but if you don’t wantit I don’t care.” The gentleman turned to walk away. The lady felt in her poeket and a sudden change cawe over her face. “Oh, I have lost my purse. I am so much obliged to you. I had all the money for my summer dresses in it. I don’t know how to thank you enough.” After she had identified the property entleman returned 1t with a sardonic Queer Names. The following are the names of some of the newspapers in Kansas: Carbondale Astonisher and Paralyzer, Cashier, Clay Center Democrat and Lit- tle Hatchet, Colby {l 0 Coolidge Border Ruffian Horse, ¥argo Springs Pralrie Owl, Ford Boomer, Garden City Irritator, Gra Cash City Thomas county) Cat, Eustis Dark n- Greenburg ~ Rustlol ,» Kansag City Cyclon Kincaid Kronicle, Lake City (Kas) Pra. i Larney Chronoscope, Leon une Hrick, Madison Zemith, ield Cap Sheaf, lington Morning Quid Nunc, Mulli New Kiowa Herald-Ear, Pittsburg Smelter, Court Proceedings. kota Bell: A man was brought be- akota''no license'’ county charged with selling The sheriff who made the arrest demijohn of ‘whisky which he had found on the prem- s08. “Jes' lemme sce that jug o' licker,” said the judge, It was handed to him, he pulled out the cork, tilted it up_and took a couple of large swallows. Then he turned to the prosccuting attorney and said: “Pretty ;f(om stuff, hey."” 3 *1 dz‘zn't now anything about it. your it then,try it—gosh all hemlock! tlnls&uln‘t nolxr_}divi ual affair—take a snort uy it. go‘?ler honor, Lnever drink.” “Don't drink, hey. I don't b'lieve ye've ever been adwitted to practice then! Hanged if 1 don't make ye show up yer papers for it 'fore another trial. Well, here’s lookin’ at you ducks again.” ‘Then turning to the sherift he added: “That's the pure quill, ain'vit Ike?” ** ‘Pears to be."’ £ln “I 'lowed ye wouldn't bring it in thout hittin’ 1f. Want o wrigate again '’ “Don’t care if I do.”” ‘The demijohn was passed over to the sherift and he and the aitornep for the defense and the witnesses and the vris- oners all sampled it. After the judge had taken another pull at it the attorney for the defense arose and said: “Your honor, it doesn't seem to me that any one can be convicted for seliing such liquor as that.” 4 *'I'sh cussed if I don't b'licve yo'sh Pus 'bout right, cap'n. I'sh these fellers shells poor stuff what we'sh atter." our hon % Corsh. Prishner’s d'sharged. “Hold on,” said the prosecuting at- torney, “'this isn't legal.” “Shut up'—ye'sh fined $10 fer coun- Shay, boys, it's thesh drug stores we're after. Thoy shells poor whisky. ‘This courts sthands adjourned! Ik {c. go and 'rest all the dnlq storh fellers in ther whole town. Jes'lcave thish dem'’ john right ‘ere with 'er co'rt an’ it'll be a’ right!” Laurels for the Sex. ° ROOSEVELTON WESTEKN WOMEN San Francisco Girls—Three Kinds of Lassies—The Ones wo Keally Love ~The Dying Girl-Women's Cross and Crown. The Dying Girl. Hannah More Kohius, *0. Pilot, row me o’er the tide. “T'i$ not 8o deep nor near so wide As one would think from this bleak shore, Please, pilot, kindly row me o'er!” “And why that side, my little miss? 15 there not joy enotgh on this? Stand back, my dear, stand back, 1 say. Your robe is spattered o'er with spray ! “But, pilot dear, do you not seo The shadowy forms that beckon me? Tnelr gleaming robes aud eyes o bright, Shine clear to e, though dim my sight!” “But waves beat high and waters chill, Your tender breast with fear will fill; Back to your flow'rs, go back, my sweet, See the waves now croeping to your feet!” “My flowers are gone--transplanted there, For wind and waves naught do 1 care. Good pilot, tell me what to say-- That you no longer will delay? “What will you have that 1 possess? A grateful smile, a golden tress, My birds and books, my jowels, too? No? Not enough! What shall I ao? 3 “Ah, sir, your pardon ffbw 1 crave. {10 sull, my heart, be strong, be bravo). t—you should wish—your bride 'l be, 1t you will take me o'er the sea!” The spectral bark was quickly manned— Away they flew to th’ shoreless land. He'd waited but to ear her say She’d be his bride to haste away. He loves too well the young and fair. He wrapped her forin with tender care; ‘Then wrapped her in a cold embrace, And vanishing he left no trace. Woman's Sphere. That woman is extending her sphere of action, if not of usefulness, mo'one can doubt. Susan Marian Salter, ‘mother of four children, is a Kansas mayor, and several women are serving in her board of aldermen. justice has appointed a young woman as clerk of his court; another 1sa justice of A New Hawmpshire police the peace in Wyoming; more than forty women held office as legislat clerks last winter; asturdy matron is pilot on a Lake Champlain steamer, and it would be impossible to say how many thousands are ‘‘boss” in their own houscholds. 1t looks, indeed, as if the coming woman might be boss all around. San Francisco Girls, Oakland Tribune; Thirty years ago marriageable girls were as scarce in San Krancisco as white crows; now the mar- ket is overstocked, and anxious mothers watch with sinking hearts,vear after year roll over their daughters’ heads without bringing the right man to the front. It isnot that our girls e less beautiful they ty, for than the rest of their sex, for in th excel, It is not a lack of sensib San Francisco girls are as generous s aminble as can be. No, it is their er uselessness, love of dress, and hatred and ignorance of all that apper- tains to domestic economy, which scares the young man of the present day the mothers are to blame. Three Kinds of Girls. Catharine Cole in New Orleans Picay- une: I know the girl who is simply oretty. Well, and is not that enough. )nce upon a time a distingmished New ans beau was besieged by a fair maid ely maid, who pressed the claims of intellect versus beauty. Tho homely girl exclaimed: ‘O, you will surely give your vote, Mr, D—--- in favor of miellect; beanty is'only skin deep, you know.”” “Deep enough for me, my T deep enough for me,” answered the ir- repressible gallant. And so it 1s for most of us, A protty girl may drop her final g's, not own anrin all her vocabulary, benas vapid asa shallow little stream purling down the hillside, with an enternal smile on her red -lips, a glint of Inughter in her young eye. She is pretty, and she knows it, and that almost enough. But after a time there will come a day when the girl who only pretty will stand by and look on atthe triumphs of the girl who was wise as well as pretty; who fitted her mind to accord with the graces of its beautiful casket. Her few friends may be faithful to her. Her one true lover may still be fond of her, for it is not easy to uproot love, but their fondness is tempered with regret and disappointment, and when the Soft eyesdim, and the round arms shrivel, and the satin cheek is an etched picture of life's vanity and time's failure, the poor girl who was only pretty turns her poor, scarred face to the wall; there is no welcome lamp of intelligence lighted in the blue windows of her soul---dull, inert, uncultivated. Skin-deep beauty 18 not deep enough after all. The gushing girl is a nincteenth cen- tury production. She giggles from the time she opens her eyes in_the.morning until she says amen to the Lord'at night and puts her flufly little head upon the pillow. She says “‘than wiully' for “I'thank you.! She thinks the grand, lugubrious music of the bat Mater' o sweet for anythin, A Kitten with its eyes as yet unopened, the N and Mr. Gladstone all are “j i cly for any adjectives are all in She will gush over a v baby, the superlative, pumpkin, over her sister’s over a doggerel rhyme, over ything she sees, cverything she rs, over e body she knows. If she is here to- nighit she willsay to me as she does of the weather-—as she did of her new bonnet— that T am either “simply horrid.” Bnt nz—-she i8 impressionable. mething which she thinks sentiment, Let her hug her neighbor abies and her brother's kittens, and kiss the collic puppy and adore the new min- ister. Itis all gush. Itis the mnocent, light-hearted gush of a girl, Let her frolicsome youth have its fling. Ina little while she, too, will join the ranks of the lookers-on, and will have her fling at that sillv, gigghing gusher, to whom everything is “'sweet,’ “‘cute,” or “‘cun- ning,"” or “just too awfully lovely."” ere 18 a girl, and I'love to think on her and talk of her, who comes in late when there is company, who wears a pretty little air of mingled responsibility and anxiety with her youth, whom the others scem to depend’on and look for many comforts, She 1s the girl who helps mother., In her own home she i blessed little saint and comforter., e ta unfinished tasks trom the tired stifl fingers that falter at their work; strong youth re is a staff upon which the g Al white faced mother leans and s rested. She helps mother with the spring sewing. with the week's mending with & cheerful conversation and con- genial compauionship that some girls do not think worth while wasting on ou mother. And when there comes a da) that she must bend, as girls must often bend, over the old worn out body of mother lying unheedful in her coffin, rough hands folded, her long disquiet merged in rest, something very sweet will be mingled with her loss, and the irl who helped her mother Wwill find a nediction of peace upon her head and in_her heart. The girl who works—God bless her—is another girl whom I know. Sheis brave and active. She s not too proud toearn her own living, nor ashamed to be caught at her daily task. Bhe is studious and painstaking and patient. She smiles at you from behind counter or desk. There is a memory of her sewn into each silken gown. She is like a beautiful young mountaineer already far up the hill, and the sight of her should be a fine 1nspira- tion for us all. 1t is an honor to know this girl—to be worthy of her regard. Her tlnd may be stained with factory grease or printer's ink, but it is an honest hand and a helping hand, It stays misfortune from many homes, it is the one shicld that protects many a forlorn little family from the alms house and asylum—brave, polite, refined, ambitious; thesouth is the rightful home of the girl who works—God bless her. No Use for the Furniture. A couple that had made up their minds to sail forth on the troublous waters of the marital ocean, says the Philadelphia Press, dropped in a well known store to seleet the furniture necessary for the comfortable equipment of their house- hold ark. The lady had evidently been deluded into the idea that her prospective fellow voyager was possessed of some means, therefore she was somewhat taken aback when he, after the work of se- lection hud been completed, turned tothe salesman and inquired as to how much money was required to be paid down upon such a bill'of goodsand how favor- able their terms were in regard to the payment of the remainder. The Iady was, for the moment, dumbfounded at the revelation implied by her compan- ion’s interrogative, and without waiting for the salesman's comprehensive eluci- dation of the firm's liberal ku‘ovxswl\ for such contingencies turncdt_upon her would-be lesser half, and, with a voice that sent a chill iuto the marrow of his bones, sai “Look here, George, doyou mean to say that you have notthe money to pay for this” furmiture outright?” George reluctantly admitted that his ex- chequer was not sufticiently plethoric to give such an ext ant manifestation of exwreme w . “ThenI guess you had better wait awhile, for you will have no immediate need of the furniture so far as I am conce of the store, leaving the crest get of her indignation to his own sad thoughts and the consolatory oftices of the sympathetic salesman. SELF-MADE WOMEN, Luey Larcom was a mill hand. Adelaide Neilson began le as a child’s nurse, Anna Dickinson began life as a school teacher. Charlotte Cushman was the daughter of poor people. Sarah Bern'dt was a_dressmaker’s ap- prentice; so was Matilda Heron. Miss Braddon. the novelist, was a utllity actress in the English provinces. Christine Nillson was a rmvr Swedish pes ant, and ran barefoot in childhood. Jenny Lind,also a Swede,was the daughter of a vrincipal of a young ladies’ boarding school. Adelalde Phillipps, the singer, now dead, was a very poor girl, and so was Sarah Jew- ott, the actress. The most renowned woman who sprang from the lowliest estate was Jeanne d’Arc, who fed swine. Nell Gwynn sold oranges In the streets and theater. From the pit, while vending her wares, she took a faucy to the stage. Pretty Maude Granger, with the gold- brown eyes and shapely form, first earned her Livelihood by running a sewing machine, Mrs, Langtry is the daughter of a countr parson of small means, but the old nrover! of her face being her fortune proved true in her case. Edmonio Lewis, the wrestler, is colored. Overcoming the prejudices against her sex and color, and self-educated, Miss Lewls is now successfully pursuing her profession in Italy. ‘The mother of Clara Louise Kellogg ained every netve to give Clara a nusical ion, and at one time was a | sional spiritual wedium. Miss Kellogg failed three times. Miunie Hauk’s father was a German and a shoemaker, in the most straightened circum- stances. Iler yoiéo early attracted the atten- tion of one of New.York's richest men, who had it cultivated. Miss Maria Mitchell, the astronomer, was the daughter of a small farmer in Nantucket, who was obliged, to eke out his income by teaching school at § Maria was 2 A week . constantly occupltd with household duties, ‘The great French actress, Rachel, had as hard a childhood as cyer fell to the lotof a genius, Ragged, Baréfoot, and hungry, she played the tambourine inthe streets, and sany and begged for mdole. Naturally she ‘was illiterate and vulzar, T HONEY FOR THE LADIES. fpidiamic Some women gild their finger nails. Scarfs and neckties of metal area new German invention. Eleven wealthy New York widows will wummnier in Europe. Swiss belts of jet are to be much worn with white summer gowns, Old plue and Charles X pink are charm- ingly combined ip the new ginghams. A great many brides are willing to sell duplicate fish-knives and berry-spoons “sec- ond hand.” Miss Kate Field will celebrate the Fourth v ”‘l\" out at the Golden Gate on that day ka. ny American ladies are unable to find ready inade shoes in London small enough to fit them, A bonnet has been invented made entirely of ribbon, which at the er may be taken ;rl! and put in the pocket without injuring t. Foulard is the favorite material for sume mer use. Tnere are a number of foullard dresses in all the latest Parisian bridal trous- seaus. Mrs. U.S.Grant has repurchased one of the houses i Washinzton which she transterred to W. H. Vanderbilt at the time of the Grant & Ward failure, A woman milliner who around in families could e: ing that 1t Is strange no entel has ever thouzht of trying it. Mi D, G, ly has accepted the invita. tion of the Women’s Press association, of Boston, to give her paper on *“Thirty Years in Journalism™ at its reception, June 15, Little rough straw hats are being imported from France for wesar at the sea shore, trimmed with Madras handkcrehiefs tied in number of uyright loops. These are called la Creole. “What akes that girl walk so funny? asked De Smith of Browne. *1s she int would _ work 50 good a liv- rprising woman cated?”’ “Oh, no s not intoxicated,” r sponded Browne. s only her shoes that are tight.” iorelass of the Wesleyan Female e of Macon, Georzia, has decided to ac- cept President Cleyeland’s invitation to visit Washington this sumwer as the guests of himself and wife, Women who are past their girlhood will be glad to know that @irls are hopelessly out of fashion nowadays and that twenty-seven 13 the proper age, The eonsequence is & whoie army of twenty-seven-year-olds, Some Lllinols gitls tried to see who could walk the farthest on the rails of a railroad without falling off, and three of the crowd wentthrough a cattle guard in a heap and fell upon & tramp and killed him, Mrs, Jenness Miller, the dress reformer of Washington, delivered an address before the students of Vassar college the other day and the gitls azreed to wear a_costume without corsets, to be designed by Mrs. Miller, Mrs, Jenness Miller, the dress reformer of Washington, delivered an address before the students of Vassar coilege the other dayeand the girls agreed to wear a_costume without corsets, to be designed by Mrs. Miller, An Austrian physielan says that nine times out of ten headache can be almost in- stantly cured by swallewinz a spoontul of salt dissolved ib & nquantity of water suffi- eient to enable the sufferer to drink it. Here s a new field for women. One of the Paris journals, devoted to woman's rights, wants the position of weat inspector at the French capital Ki\'e{: 0 women. Why would they notinake excejlent market ofticial A Burlington mah recently had to pay $ for Kissing a strange Woman in & raiway station. However,, whien & Vermont man ets away from hoke Lie 1s bound to have a ood time, no matter what the expense may be. ‘ g i ae New York jury hag just awas ary M‘:u-l Wlllon’l ,ovw—fi’m interest in the estate of the late millionaire, John Ander- New York & Omaha Clothing Go We desire to cal terns, have been paying $1.25 and 81,50 for. knife at work, and now we show our enormons line at extremely low prices. Think! suit for 81.50,81.75 and §2. $4.50. Do not forget that ¢ O 1887.--TWELVE PAGE GREAT REDUCTIONS pecial attention to our great reduction on Summer Suits which we can prom- Ise are, at their present prices, the cheapest goods in the market, Our §6, 88, $10 and $12suits, we now sell for 84, 85, 86 and $7- Also a that were selling for $13.50, 815, $18 and 820, are now sellin as been repienished, and now we en ment of these goods, in Flanncl, Serge, Socrsucker, and all manner of 8i Have you scen our 75¢ Underwear? Ifnot, come and see the same quality of goods you Our entire line of §6 and $7.50 suits have been reduced to 84 and Straw Hats at 40¢, 30¢ and 75¢. styles Just look at our hat show in the window and you will sce the cheapest line you have ever had the good fortune to look upon purchaser of goods to the amount of §2,30 w Pony and Cart, which is to be given away on the Ath of § THE NEW YORK & OMAHA CLOTHING G0 1308 FARNAM STRERT. --AT THE--- endid e of all wool Cassimere ats1o, $1 agal Worsted .50 and $13. Our line ow the Iargest assort- imer Goods and put. In the Childrens’ and Boy «’ partment we have had the A good Grey Stift Hats at $1.50, 82 and $2,50, and for other recelve a ticketon the son, valued at $18,000,000, It is safe to say that Mary Maud Watson can’t see any flies on the jury system. For wear with the pretty printed cotton dresses in the country are large sun um- brellas of printed cotton, with pastorals and landseapts upon them. ‘They are pretty and deliciously quaint. The handles are of light- cok:md wood with big crooks or hoops at the end. ‘I'he councll of the university of Melbourne bas decided by a large majority to admit women as students of medicine. ‘The med- ical journals, as & rule, oppose the practice of the co-education of men and women med- feal students, while fully indorsing the principle. Brown and white wool dresses will be much worn this season. The skirt Is white, braided with brown. The full drapery is brown, as is the basque, which has a white waistcoat braided with brown. A white hat trimmed with & number of brown sparTows completes the toilet. A pretty summer gown s in forget-me-not blue lawn, with tiny red dots, It has a shoulder-cape, with long ends of blue velvet of a darker shade. The hat is a rough white straw, the turned-up brim being lined with China crape, It has a big bunch of forget-me-nots and grasses high up in front, American young ladies should steadily de- cline to marry princesse The sweet young wite of the crown of Prussia’s son stands in such awe of her cold-blooded bus- band that she dare not order even a new bon- net. Lives there the American prince with soul so dead who would not deck his prin- cess’ head? Another new fashion in Philadelphia {s the “engagementdinner,” at which the father rest male relative ot the lady usually es the announcement at the close of the dinner, and a_pretty practice sometimes in- dulged is for the guests to pick up a tlower and throw it at the fiancee, who is thus met with a rose shower from all sides of the table. On this occasion, reports an observer, ‘‘the bridegroom-elect often kisses his mother-in- aw and the father of the benedict in es-the tiancee Sham jewelry may be worn for a variety of reasons. If it's to give the impression of wealth which the wearer does not posses: then the practice is wrong. Butif the profi sion or career of a husband requires that hy wite should go much Into society on & small income, she would be pertectly justified in wearing imitations to save money, . A smart and dressy appearance demands the “use of many littie knick-knacks and_etceteras, the fashion of which is constantly changing. For instance at present gold jewelry is obso- leto for evening wear, and as a las Corn- fully remarked to a poor relation: *You can wear nothing but diamonds.” Under these circumstances It cannot be wrong for a lady, who cannot atford to buy diamonds and has not inherited any,to wear a moderate amount of paste. She should not, however, try to pass her ornaments off as dinmonds, nor speak of her “jewels” with an air of import- ance which would lead people to infer that she had any of value. ————— MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC. Frederick Warde is acting In Portland, Ore., this week. Edwin Booth is visiting Mr, Lawrence Barrett at Cohiasset, Mass. Miss Annie Pixley will spend the summer at her country home in Canada. Mr. ture Kiralfy bas begun_his prepara- tions for the production at Niblo's of the spectacular play called *Le Bossu,” which made a wonderful run at the Porte St. Mar- tin i Par ‘T'he new opera house at Odessa, when com- leted will be one of the grandest in Europ twill Fr'lbflhlv be opened under the manaxe- ment of Mr. Mapleson in the autumn, It has been erected ata cost of §1,000,000, ‘Phe obean circuit. which includes the thea- tres at Long Branch, Asbury Park and Red Bank, will inaugurate a season_ of summer theatticals, beginning with *“The Trivate Secretary” on Wednesday next. Many of the best compantes will be seen at the seaside during the summer under the management of MacGeachy & Comstock, Jerome Ravel, the only surviving member of the famous Ravel family, celebrates the fiftieth anniversary of his marriaze, June 25, at his home in the south of France. On the same day Mr, Imre Kiralfy will give a dinner in New York in honor or the veteran panto- minist, to which membersof the press and other triends will be invited. A special wire will nect the two dining rooms, and mes- saves will be passed between Messis. Ravel and lmre Kiralfy. Grand German opera is estimated by the udionces It draws as ruthlessly acle in the country. H. 1, musical critic of the New York ‘Tribune, has compiled a table showing the number of performanoes of each opera last season and the average receipts from it “Fidello” leads the li It sung three times to averaze houses of §4,077. “Tristran and Isolde,” which was first sung in New York last winter, makes a close second, with elght performances at an average of 4,020, The sixty-one performances brought in £203,000. but they cost $200,000 besides $154,- 000 of fixed charges on the buildivg, and the stockholders had to be assessed 3,500 each to make up the deficit of 175 This deficiy piled up in spite of the fac t the sixty-one audiences averaged 2600 people d that the average price of a ticket 50. T'he Now York publ ve the best opera or nothing, but when it gets the best it pays the piper without grumbling. The American prima donnas are having things all their own way in London now. They are as popular and fashionable as Aworican beauties, ‘The'last one that has eome iuto prominence combines both attrac- tions, Miss Awelia Louise Groll 18 an ex- uisitely pretty blondge, and is only twenty- three years of age. She has beea engaged by Carl Iosa to sing in London during the jubl- lee. She was born in Ohio, and went to the Cincinnati college of muic when she was seventeen, Iefore she was twenty she had won every honor the college had 1o give and exhausted its capability of teaching ber, She then traveled a short ‘while with an opera wm[mnr in the west, and later went to I'aris and studied at the conservatoire, supportin herself meanwhile by sinzing in the English chureh there, Sbe then had engagements in Vienna and Berlln, which gave her both money and fame, and sang in the last carni- val in Rome under thy management of Zan- fandl. Rosa is going to take her on a tour throuzh South America as soon as she has completed her London engagement. Her pictures,already for sale in the London shops, show her as of & soft, round, infantile sort o beauty, with a skin of dazzling fairnesss £ E BIS, SBIS, BIS In his inside pocket, and he was strolling down 16th strect, with a young lady by his side. From appearances you would judge it was love at first sight. She was smiling, but he seemed worried, as he want- ed to go to housckeeping, and his money only amounted to $15,when he noticed the People's Installment House, 613 North 16th street, between California and Webster streets, and there bought sufficient goods to start housekeeping with, by making a first yayment. Thanking the firm for the gentlemanly way én which they were received, and they are now at home and happy. * Rosenthal & Co., Props. No connection with any other house in the city. -=HILL & YOUNG=- 1213 Farnam Street. FURNITURE, | CARPHETS, STOVHS . House Furnishing Goods. ” A. T. KENYON. H. M.JONES. S. M. JONE§ | A T. KENYON & (0, Wholesale and Retail Booksellers and Stationer 1522 Douglas St., NEBRASKA. Correspondence Solicited. OMAHA, - - Telephone 501. . RILEY & McMAHON, ! REAL ESTATE, 310 South 15th Stree Some Bargains in West End on Dodge, Farnam, 20th and 85th sts. This prop- erty is very choice. 100x124} Euclid Avenue and 81st. 10 fine lots in Briggs Place. 133 feet Cleveland Place, $1,600. 2 nice acres in West Omaha, suitable for platting. 60x14) S, 16th, nice grade, $54 per toot. 66 ft. trackage on Leavenworth. trackage on Nicholas street. A beai iful home site. 198 fi. 1s produced from twelve pows RAIL-ROAD REMEDY it ingicins manipulated as to produce the most wuuulmul n:.ull\s[ l;mm n 1(;\\:11 h.‘ml.'«.; al :\r-vv(\l; « e cedy, givi ¢ relief from every pain and sorenes s action is both sure and speedy, giving instan i nand | 1 :Q ‘Which flesh is heir. A positive cure for Croup, Catarrh, Diarrhaa, Cho lera Morbus, Colds, Sore Throat a! Lungs; RHEUMATISM AND NEURALGIA i o, T he, Earache, Lame Back or in their worst forms; Headache, Toothache, Earache, L e rains, Cuts, Bruises, Burns, Scilds, Corns, Chilblains and B ites. "We make o claim for this Remedy but what fundreds of testino- nials of the highest character have established, We publish the following . P, ecrel of State, says: “1 have kept a s y of Railroad R for O Yond 1 Al you represcnicd, and cheefuly redy on hand Lincoin, Neh. found imine: I have used Railroad Remedy for rheamat, diate relief, 1 consider it the most reliable & NATE * The following is from Judge Foxworthy: 1 wa njury oy Mipe: | tried St Jucob's Ol Gargliug Oil, Mustang, i Injury G fe, § rjed RATLROAD REEMEDY, and enjoved the | A nervaus paind and twitchings were instantly refieved by its soothir T colle,sore thevat, wounds and birns it iy headache in hatf an hour, itin my family. Y & confirmed invalid, from Rheumat fngs, . 1tried RAILROAD REMEDY pince T left my bed Sincercly yours, Over 8,000 tost cases cured. m; could not walk was entircly cured in three weeks. effects of this Great Remedy et o NTEL SHINE, Osage Mission, Kaosas. For sale_by allfirst class d “mu Trade supplicd by Riok ardson Drug Company, Omabe.