Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, January 5, 1884, Page 2

L LOSS AND GAIN. fonarra 1, 11 wa taken sick n year ago With billous fever.|’ My doctor pronounced ma cured, but gotsick n, with terrible pains in my back and sides, and 1 gotso bad 1 COould not move! 1 shrunk! From 228 Ibs. to 120! T had been doo- toring for my liver, but itdid me no good. I did not expect to live more than three months. I n to use dop Bitters. Directly my appetite returned, my pains left me, my entire system seemed re- newed as i{ by magic, and after using several bottles 1 am not only as sound as & sovereign but weight more than 1 did before., %‘o Hop Bitters I owe my life.” Dublin, June 6, '81. cArTaR 2. “Malden, Mass., Feb, 1.1830. Gentlemen— 1 guffered with attacks of sick hos\acho euralgia, female trouble, for years in, the most terrible and excrutiating , man- ner, No medicine or doctor could give me relief or cure until I used Hop Bitters, “The first bottle Nearly cured me;" The second made me as welland strong as when a child. And I have been so to thisday.” My husband was an invalid for twenty with a serious " Kidney, liver and urinary complaint “Pronounced by Boston’s best phys “‘Incurable!” £ Seven bottles of your bitters cured him and I know of the *‘Lives of eight persona” In my neighborhood that have been saved by your bitters, ¥ d many more are using them with great benefit. ““The almost Do myraclest” —Mrs, E. D, Slack. HOW 10 GEr SicK. ——Ex{mue yourself day and night; eat too much without ex- ercise; work too hard without rest; doctor all the time; take all the vile nostrums R. FrrzpATRICK. . THE DAILY BEE-~OMAHA, SATURDAY, JANUARY 5, 1884. Thoughts on the New Year, To! another year hath ended, Numbered with the changeless past. Will my elothes, if they are mended, Through another twelve months Inst? Since when lnat I sought a tailor Longer 'tis than I can say; Yet these garments must grow staler, Firo for fresh T11 choose to Py, Faded cloth will hold together, Dre repairs proserve old suite; Bat, though skill will clout shoe leather, Oht how soon we wear ont boots! Ah! what art avails to cobble Uppers, oracked and full of holes, Though we may contrive to hobble On and on by cure of soles. Here's o hat, which hath exuded, Tinted oozs by length of wear; Of fta nap tin il denuded; Hats a8 woll s hoads grow bare, Our corporal forms, obeying Not our own, but Nature's will, Year by year go on decay ng, But our clothes go faster still! (Good for years, yet this old raiment May outlast this mortal clay: May 1 80 have no more payment ‘o provide for new array! They must spare, whose means are slender, ‘What they best without can go: That which grieves me to surrender, Lonst of all is outward show, Food and liquor cheer and cherish Us in passing through this vale, Yield us pleasure when thn?' Yerinh, As, for instance, beef and ale Unconsunted apparel shields us Best against sharp aunmrhera: Tta consumption 1o le yields us, Only costs so much a year, ~The :Fudge. ——— OR THE LADIES, HONEY Love laughs at leap year. Trains are becoming to stout women, (Gold hoop ear-rings are again in fashion, ‘White underskirts should be worn only in the evening. “Iady suffrage” is what they call 1t in Washington, Territory. Apple-pering boes have been introduced into New York fashionablo society. Sable is the most fashionable fur in Eng- land among those who can afford it. advertised, and then you will want to know how to get well, which is answered in three words—Take Hop Bitters! 'HE MILD POWER CURES.— —T LIUMPHREYS’ OMEOPATHIC @ BESPECIFICS." 10 use 3 yoars.—Each number the special pro- seription of an eminent physician.—The only Simple, Safe and Bure Med cines for the prople crei THICE; acute of chronic; infliienzd e ., violent coughs,.. . ST ioten Wit jon, or ain- oy et ‘.;.".'5;,.:" : e e s Health is Wealth ! Dr E. (. West's Nenve AND Brary Tnear. MENT, 0 guarantoed specifio for Hysterio, Dizzi. nvalsions, ‘Fits. Norvous Newrulgin 0, Nervous Prostration cansed by the uso of aleohol or tobacco, Wukefulness, Mental 1 ion, suhnnlnq :! the Brain resulting in in- ity anc b ing to miscry, decay m:{ gs‘:«!\"‘ turo n either :::alnvolnnmry Lossos anc Bpermat- ca xortion of tho brain, solf- oF ovor-indulgonoe. Kach hox contai onth's treatment. $1,00 6 box, or six box sent by mail prepaid on receipt of price, WE GUARANTEE SIX BOXES iy case. With each order received byu ‘aocompanied with $5.00, wo will the purel our writthn guarantee to re- money trea it does not effect F;...l"'m..‘f.“:‘.‘.m i . ©. F. GOODMAN, Agent Omahs Neb., DR, FELIX LE BRUN'S AND PREVENTIVE AND OURE. ZO0R EITHER SEX. ™ 10 the seat | Th femedy belng infectud dire son .#-?“.'t.', e8 0 bo taken intern ; but 1n the of y afflictod wo guar- Shroe boxes to oure, or we will refund the PR e A i IWRITTEN/GUARANTEES #ued by all authorisedagents. f; Dr.FelixLeBrun&Co Goodman, Drugglst, {Sole Agent, for Omaha § W&o wiy Job, Hoff's Malt Extract. GET THE GENUINE. ] x ‘General Desility, <N X ,; 25t P BT, LODIS PAPER WAREHODSE, K Paper Co,, | #7a00919 Nah Maln 8t., 6t Louls, Y 'WHOLESALE DEALERS IN | 2% |PAPERS, (15 RIN ' STOCK padd. DISEABES OF THE E & FAR ARMSTRONG, M. D., anad Auris THE GREAT NUTRITINE TONIC !|laco ool Women aro happier in their illusions than in their most agreeable experiences. (elden-brown cloth suits with real gilt braid are made by Paris tailors in thestyles in favor with English ladies. Partly fittod jackets of Persian lamb and untrimmed with any other fur bid fair to con- siderablo popularity. The Alaska and Shetland seals are now dyed almost or quite black, and can be worn by ladies in mourning. The reason that lovers turn down tho gas in the parlor is because they obtain sufficient light from the sparking. Agpflud embroideries are more fashionable on thin fabrics than the old-fashioned body embroideries of silk thread, All gray trimming furs are used to adorn the favored gray and green velvet or cloth cos- tumes of the coming season. The birds worn on bonnets made here are very modest in size and color beside those worn by ladies who bought their hats in Paris, Albatross cloth is more popular this season for evening dress than nuns’ veiling. Some of this fabric has an effective bordering, show- quaint Persian designs in bright oriental colors, Basques are cut in every shape and style imaginable, round, pointed, long or short, with edges tabbed or plain, in postillion fash- ion or with full puffs lined with a contrasting color. The new pointed girdle is the rage. This may be made of the best material, of satin or velvet; and instoad of the adjustable train of last year, a court tram is often attached to & girdle to be worn for full dress. A fashionable New York shoe dealer says: “‘Some persons find fault with high French heels, but they make the foot look smaller, are not at all uncomfortable, and no American woman will wear anything else.” A favorite way of making morning-gowns is to plait the bodice in fine plaits from the throat, and imprison the waist in a wide belt of velvet fastened by a silver buckle; the plaiting below the belt forms a frill that covers the hips, Velvet ribbons have not reached the height of favor, and will be the principal trimming of next season's dresses. Braiding will also retain its hold as a popular decoration of cloth dresses, whilo velvet ribbon will be used on cashmere, The sheer linen cambric handkerchief has now taken the first rank—scalloped edges with o vine inside,n hem with sevoralrows of raised dots inside, very elaborate needlework, all around, aud others have applique of Pompa- dour lace in each corner, There is likely to be a run on both sides of the water on soft felt hats trimmed with feathers. A little later on in the season, it is claimed, shall be seen Henri II. hats of folt, with a bordering of fur, These hats will be popular for skating and sleighing parties, Lace edged handkerchiefs are for the pres: ent on the “‘retired list" in Fashiondom, con. sequently much reduced in price, As this is but momentary we advise our readers to securo & duchess, point or valenciennes lace hand- kerchief at the present low and hitherto un. heard of price, Neow necklaces for evening wear are of Flor- entine and cloisoneo beads, some of which are incrusted with tiny silver stars or studded with mock gems, which glitter like real jowels iu tho gaslight, Roman pearls also were never more in fashion than at the present, worn twisted about the neck in triple rows, Plalds and stripes will still be worn for hack dresses, Many persons consider them much wmoro useful than plain material. Tho large checks are sometimes traversed by gay-colored silk or woolen threads, giving a variegated ef- fect that is extremely protty, All these plaids and stripes and checks are” accompanied with nm r‘lg.“m predominating shade of the A new ornament for full dress is a mull fichu, with a rosette bow of light or dark satin ribbon. Resting on this is a spray of roses or forn leaves in the new Pompadour lace, | di Again, theso sprays are placed on the duchass arattes, on the left side in front of the shoulder, Thesa are really protty novelties not at all expensive when one exwmines and soes the boautiful work in their formation, In new jackets for ont door wear aro shown some very trim and jaunty shapes made of heavy Indian cloth in olive, maroon, myrtle green, uummdry X-.d. and seal brown, trimmed with 'bands of Astrakhan a deeper shade. Very heavy woolon Jerseye are also exhib- ited’ trimmed with fur or feather bands, the fronts decorated with silk cords arrayed Hus. sar fashion across the Gust. The stockinette goods are coarser than was for- merly the case, and it s quite admissiblo to wear woolen Jerseys of this description In the stroets without an Mldl‘dmm)l.l Soveriue, ough on sovero days, o fur pelerine cor- faindy fooks more sesibls and comfortable, “I would rather haul sixty men,” said a gare-wom ill conductor punching o tckety n 080 fair savages arrayed in tho skl of wild easts. Just peop Ln at that front door to collect a _platform fare that they will bite or scratch wme. All right, am; all right! T will stop at Fifth street when we get there; it is nino syuares down there yet. Yes, yes, madaw; told me hatf a dozen times to stop at Fourth stroet, and I'll not forget if I have to write it down, Yes, sir, I am g gray on this line fast; but we have orders to lite to udios under all olrcumstances. 1 thought 0 o o T e Jrgiod 2 pin aw, suppose I wi ve to go in Andfl.nd'lfillu: lur.mBlAnk! Dash! Gol = * ' " Ript o There are so many beautiful fancies for the meck that one wonders where to commence, Velvet, as in every other part of the dress, is conspicuous in nechgear. A velvet an inch wide, from any color, black to white, is worn around the neck over the narrow close neck- band of dress; this may have a rushe inside, or ruche inside the neck of dress; the velvet covered with lace, Powpadour. A wide lace is gathered on the shoulders, then Lasted un edge of the ribbon; in front the ribbon forms uvn&nl loo, walst-line, Another styleis formed as above, and two or three rows of the velvet ribbon are carriod to the waist-line with folds of silk mull and lace mingled with them, At the point thele are several loops and ends of the velvet, with a plaited fan of the mull lace edged. e — CONNUBIALITI The aged father of the late Leon (iambetta has just married his cook, aged 45. At a Hannibal, Mo,, wedding the bridal march was played on & harmonica, and the bride wore a calico dress in the Mother Hub- bard style, There wore § 923 marriages in Chicago in 1883, about 2,000 more than the preceding ear, The total number of divorces is yet to be reported. A young married couple were found fast asloep in their chairs when the janitor went around to turn off the gos, after a concert in New Lisbon, 0. A Pittaburg man who was once engaged_to Mary Anderson has just married another indy. He has almost entirely recovered from his affairs with Mary, although he still suffers at times with chilblains, Peter Algornon Brown is the full name of theson of the late Scotch gillie, A beautiful Cleveland young lady has consented to marry him, and_we may_shortly expect cards to the effect: ““Mr. and Mrs, P, Algernon Browne,” Alico Randall, of Greensburg, Ind., disre- garded her father's advice and elopad with a young man who had neither money nor char- ncter. It took her one week to find out that the old gentleman was right, and she is at home again, The lady to whom Mr. Oscar Wilde is en- aged to be married is Miss Constance Lloyd, Waughter of the: Iate: Horate Liayd, Q O. There is utterly no foundation for the rumor that he is about to be raised to the peerage under the title of Baron Sunflower, Finglish society journals have discovered in & workman on the Tllinois raflway the son of Prince Salm-Salm, who fled his country in consequence of an affair of the heart. It ap- Sweet Sixteen's Suggestion. Choose a brave young fellow, Let him gentio be Bo sure your heart is mellow Before you yield the key. TLearn to love him dearly, Devote yourself to him, Not fordollare merely, Bat his hoart to win, ‘When you've won the treasure, Be faithful, loving, true, 4 ction without measure, 1 marry 3 ANy B, R, et MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC. {ate Castloton goes to Australin to play op.”! Edward Arnott has recovered, and is now traveling with Kate Claxton, Pauline Markham is to emerge from retire- ment to play Louise in “The Two Orphans” in New Haven, Conn, Fanny Davenport says the receipts of the first three woexs of ‘‘Fedora” at the Four- teonth stroet theatre, amounted to §35,000. At Atlanta, Ga., last woek, Frankie Bangs fainted on the stage during the performance of “The Silver King,” and had to be carried off the stage, New York will have, at the Mutm}mllhnu Opera-house, Academy of Music and Madison Square Garden, fifteen big dancing balls in the next two months. Mme. Sembrich has made a very faverable impreasion on Boston audiences and critics, Vienna papers stato that she will probably be heard in that city next May. The earthqnake scene in *‘Claudian,” the new play by Messrs, Willis and Herman, re- contly produced in the Princess’s theatre, London, is said to present one of the most striking illusions ever witnessed upon the stage, 1t will possibly do Miss Lotta Crabtree con- siderable good to be hissed by London au. poars that another member of tho family under similar circumstances displayed more sonso, Count Manfred Salm-Salm, having fallen in love with a shoemaker's daughter, marriod her, and set up as a grocer in n Ger- Ak watérlog:plkoe, whess ho hiks achlsvedia fortune and purchasod an estate. The following has been posted at St. George's, Hanover Square, London: “It is earnestly requested that all persons will Ye- frain from talking in the church before and after, as well ns during the marriago servics, and that they will behave asin the house of Giod.” 8t, George's is the fash- fonablo church for marriages, and at one time the clerk’s fees amounted from $10,000 to £15,000 a year, Tho prosent Larl of Devon’s grandmother lield the offico, and, of course,ap- pointed a deputy to do the work. “My dear madam,” said Widower Jones to the blushing, blooming Widow W., who had recently buried her elderly bet(er half, “‘I always thought that a yoang woman like you, left alone in the world, with no incumbrances, would seek the solace of another husband im- mediately; it is the usual way, you know.” “I could not think of it, ilnmov}’lawly." re- plied the lovely vision in becoming black and white, ‘“that would be too seon. i have made up my mind to wait the proper time and then —" “You need not wait another second,” re- nlponded the ardent wooer, ‘‘take me now.” The cards are out, — ‘Why I Do Not Speak. You ask me why T do not speak. What would you have me say? Must 1 disclose tho secret woes That oer my heartatrings play * Tell all the ankuish I have felt, The tears that I have shed, Th joy that once filled all my breast That from its place has fled? 'l tell thee why I do not speak, And why T smile no more ; And why with troubled look and brow 1 pace along the floor : Tt is because when at my meal Too full I crammed my craw ; Tho load #its heavy on me now— My breath I scarce can draw. —0C. DeNIKE, ——— RELIGIOUS, Rev, Dr. John Hall says New York needs forty more churches, The first English speaking church at Now fim' Minnesota, was dedicated December diences. The trouble with most American actors and actresses is that their success at home gives them the idea that they are just too everlastingly sweet for any use. The minstrel festival at Cincinnati was not a groat success, On the opening night there were about 2 000 present, the hall being less than half full, Three hundred performers were counted upon the stage during tho open- ing part. The Callender rminstrels are the The most important element in the compan: stage was well sot, but some of the machi failed to work perfectly, The scenery rep sented southern life i the old slave days, and it was new. The audience applauded, but not a3 rapturously i they would have done had the same performance been given in cne of the theatres, There is a fecling that such a fostival is ont of placo in tho music-hallbut that it is caleulated to belittle the noble musi- cal and dramatic festivals which people have journeyed half way across the continent to attend, The “‘funny business” excited little merriment. What tho audience_evidently wanted was to hear the negro melodies under such favorable circumstances, and there was no disappointment in them. Tho voices of the principal singers were ‘good, the chorus strong and well trained, the orchestration the very best, and the great hall heightened the effects that would have pleased anywhere. Ernestine Wogner, the *“queen of soubrets” and ‘‘darling of ‘Borlin and the Fatherland,” is dead. Her most famous role was that of the young hussar in ““Our Youngest Lieu- tenant,” and with it a characteristic little story is connected. When she went to Berlin her thoatre was crowded every night by the youn men of the Royal Hussars, then quartere there, to see her in this play. And of course many of them sought her acquaintance, but in vain. She would not allow one of them even to be introduced to her. But after a few weeks she suddenly accepted the attentions of one—the youngest and vainest coxcomb of them all. Fora fornight she permitted him to be almost constantly by her side, and of course with each day he ~grew more vain of his own eharms, which had, as he fondly fan- cied, achieved for him a signal trinmph where 80 mony of his comrades had failed. But he was in a fool's {n\rndb«m One day she bade him go to the theatre that evening to ses her in a new role which she had beeu studying eversince she had the extreme fecility of mak- ing his acquaintance. He went; he saw; and ho collapsed. For in thoe pitiless glaro of the footlights he saw—himself! His pet attitudes, grimaces, intonations, monners, style, con- ceited airs, were caricatured with “torturing fidelity, while his onetime envious rivals sereamed with unhallowed glee at the discom- fiture, and Frnestino Wegner's bright eyes gleamed with the maddest mischief that ever St. Paul's Eplscopal church, Cincinnati, is to have a surplice choir composed exclusively of boys, The Baptists have 87,166 churches in the United States, 20,545 ministors, and 3,336,553 communicants, 'The Congregationalists have now in the United States 3,936 churches, with a member- ship of 387,619, Unless Minnie Young,the organist of Christ charch, Troy, is reinstated, the whole choir of fifty singers will leave also. There are ten Methodist Protestant churches in Pittsburg, Allogheny, Pa., and suburbs, an the property owned and_controlled by these churches is worth about 350,000, In 1873 thero wero two Congregational churches in Oakland, Cal. In tho territory thon occupied by these twe churches thoro aro now eight Congregational churchos, with & mombership of 1,200- The appeal to the Lutheran churches of the Minsours synod in regard to the lifting of the debt on the new sominary at St. Louis was not mado in vain. The jubilos collections were 80 liberal that thero remains only $3,000 to bo covered. The receipts of the Methodist Episcopal church for home and foreign missions for the year ending October 31, 1883, were $751,509, an increase of #59,803, The Philadelphia conference alone raised $46,500, the largest amount raised by any conference, Tho sum of $35,000 has boen subscribed for a new Presbyterian church to be erected in Washington, D. C.. Tho new church will bs called the Church of the Covenant, A lot has been purchased, and the erection of the build- ing will be begun as soon ns the sum of § has boon subscribed. Plymouth church, St Paul, Minn,, tho Itev. Dr. Dana, pastor, hus sent out three colonies uring this year, and hopes, through this and other Ways, to orgunizo and’ build three now churches, The home church is_larger than ever, and is now forced to consider the ques- tion of enlarging its own edifioo, The fifty-ninth convention of the Lutheran Synod of South Carolina, which recently met at Bethlehem church, noar Pomaria, included fifty-five congregations, thirty-three ministers, and 5,972 members. ‘T'he synod, at its organi- #ation in 1824, had ten ministers and twenty- four churchos; now it has, besides its growing membership, two flourishing educational en. terprises, = Sunday in the year, January 6, and the gen- oral arr ent of topiuy is as follows: Mon- day—Praise and thanksgiving, Tuesday— Confossion of sin, and prayer. for cloansls and rouowal, Wednesday-Prayers for faml: lies and instructors of youth, Thursday— Prayer for the ehurch of Christ. Friday—In. on for the nations. Saturday—Prayer for the missions at home and N The movement in Germany for the better observanco of Sunday is assuming very con- siderable proportions, Since the beginning ot the year nearly two hundred centers of popu- lation have declared in favor of the cl; of shops and the cessation of all work on Sunday, In Berlin 12,000 tradesmen have petitioned the 50\'Irnmenfi for the abolition of work on Sunday, The saovement has been chief! ted by a number of Catholic priests, witg the approval of their bishops, o — Honesty the Best Policy. In advertising a medicine it is best to be honest; deception will never do; the people won't stand it, Let the truth be known t| Burdock Blood Bitters cnre scrofula, and all eruptions of the skin, This medicine is sold everywhere by druggists, The four hundredth anuivs of the birth of the great Bwiss reformer, Ulric Swingli, will be celebrated in Baltimore by a raeeting at the Academy of Music, January f, 1884, Rov, Dr, Philip Schaff, of this city, bas been iuvited to deliver the chief address, and the music i to be furnished by the Liederkranz and an orchestra of sixty pieces. e —— Brown's Bronchial Troches for Coughs and Colds: ‘“There thing to be com| wit mm."—m--.’a. n;. ;’al“n, The week of prayer begins with the first | boo ad illumined the Berlin stage, e Times Have Changed. No morobeneath the caraless heel Will squirm the orange skin ; No moro will the banana peel Cause men to swear like sin. But in their stead an iron king Makes men walkon their ear As at his feet in rage they fling Themselves, supine with fear. Who is this monarch at whose feet Falls prostrato every lover Of walking through the snow and sleet? It is the coal-hole cover. s BINGULARITIES, A wild black rabbit was recently captured by John Grayson near Rolla, Missouri, A Fagetto county, Illinois, man is the pos- sossor of a sow. which bred thirty-three pigs in eloven months, The demand for the Ypsilanti, Michigan, pring water bolug groater than ‘tho suppiy! the company decided to bore a new well, aud ata dopth of 870 feet struck alarge gas vein that will supply gas for light and heat 1 the building of the company. Mrs. Rhoda Howard, who, is now living six miles southwest of the town of Owings- ville, Bath county, Ky., on State creek, if the roport b true, is probably the oldest woman in the world, 'She was born in Wilks county, N. C,, in Decomber, 1767, and is therefore, 116 years old. The champion penman of the world is a Jew of Vienna, who writes 400 Hebrew letters on agrain of wheat, In order to furnish the emperor with satisfactory evidence of his ex- traordinary skill, he has written the Jewish prayer for the imperial family on the narrow odge of an ordinary visiting card, Soveral years ago Charles Dodge, of New Brunswick, N, J., killed a horse through eru- elty, and on the 10th of December, the auni- versary of the accident, Mr. Dodge is haunted by the uneasy ghost of his dead horse, and for hours he hears the snorting of the animal and the clatter of hoofs upon the cobblestones, A great quantity of human hair has been recently exported to France and England from Russin; aud, tho suspicions of tho police authorities of the provinoe of Pakoy having n aroused, a priest named Seraphin was fornieht ago arrestod on & charge of frand, It was then discovered that this man last yoar founded a religions soct, every member of which on joining it had to sacrifice his or her hair as & symbol of obedience to the cuperior. Seraphin has a brother, a fashionable hair- dresser of St. Peteraburg, and to this man the preist consigned the locks of the faithful. Seraphin is now in jail, the new sect of the Seraphinovski has met with untimely extine. tion, and the shorn sheep are congoling them- selves as best they may upon the money ob- talned from a sale of the effects of their too ingenious pastor, o — A Leap-Year Suggestion, There never was a waid so gray But some time, soon or late, She dyed her hair and tried to play Herself for twenty-eight, . Bismarck Tribune. Tho Koran says: “God in with the patient.” After tho doctor 1s called in, however: 1t often happeny that the patient is wich his ol Hartford Post: A new reli : isenfn “England which Dl gect s ven reof K : Ee T ug! of Eve are worshiped by A youog child was taken to chureh fn Quebee, Canada, on Thursday and baptized sud when the parents and Triends seperice home the child 'was fouud doad in its wrape: One Uriah Wales, of Coalton, Pa., did not speuk to his wife for ten vears, Lecatse sho ro fused to be converted. Some Christians have very queer ideas of Christianity. th Walton, Ind., Newbern, Tenn., has a I 10 of nat Toss that $55 & Mare- e e any person who goes into & saloon Sunday, The citizens think it is a very unjust law that impels a man to enter a saloon 8 aturday night and remains there until Muuday morning. “How did you like my discourse this morn- 1#7 saked Darson Goodenough of Deacon Lightweight, the village grocer, as they walk- od home from church last Sunday morning. “Too long, brother, too long,” replied the frank deacon: *I 'believe in having svery: thing short.,” “Yes, I've noticed that in your weights, deacon,” said the sarcastic par- son. Christian endeavor: Visitor from the city- “You have n delightful place hear, and a lovely little church. . You must be perfectly happy.” Country clergyman—'‘Ah, but you don’t know how hard it is to both ends meet on my meagre stipend.” itor—*But you have extras, don't your Weddings and christenings —" Clergyman~— “Of oourse, thers are a few, But, do what I will, I cannot count upon more than four funerals a week.” Tt is to be rogretted that_tho suit broupht against the Rev. George B. Cutter, of He. bron Congregational church, of New Haven, Conn., by J. B, Fillmore, one of his parish: foners, has been compromised. Fillmore had marriod four wives tandem, and was de- nounced by his pustor s a polygamist, A great question remains unsettled, namely: Whether marrying muccession of wives, with & proper mourning period between each fes- tivity, sinks a man to the lovel of & Mormon saint, A man on the cars having several thousand dollars in greonbacks in his ession, and fearing to go to sleep sittin s seat, on ace count of seeing eome suspicious individuals in his neighborhood, slyly slipped his money into the Bible belonging to the train, and the fol- lowing morning woke up to find his capital gone and to learn that the men who slept with their cash in their pockets hadn’t lost a cent. This fable teaches us that, while it is a good thing to be just sharp enough, it is very dane gerous to be too sharp. bt SN Good Night, A La Mode. To him: Good night!— (Aside) And yet he does not go; What can it be that keops him so? Fyen the ewls have gono to bed. (That's tho tenth good night he’s said!) He's very nico—and very slow; He talks as if ho didn’t know How dreedful tired agirl can grow. I cannot hint; it's too ill-bred. (To him:) Good-night! Asido: Why cares if people think this bean 15 held here by my charms, althongh To see him move if brother Fred Should at the window show his head, Might change their minds— (To him:) What! Going? Oh! Good-night! Karl M. Sherman in Life. A Peoria merchant gives away a box of corn salve with each pair of shoes ho sells. ‘We have only collected 1.700 calendars for 1884 so far, but this week we expect to save every one. Forepaugh has also obtained a whito ele- phant. No more mud-colored elephants for this country. ‘This country is getting hard up for centen- nial celebrations. We are scarcely s new country any more, A happy Dayton man, with a growing fam- ily, boasts that every year he ‘turns new leaf,”—into his dining-room exteusion table. The Old World can offer the United States few attractions, We have now out in Colo- rado better avalanches than the best Swiss article. The comet of 1812 hasn't got any tail. It was probaby shot off during the war of that year. This doesn't speak very well for the courage of the comet, though, A Mississippi widow has recently received 812,000 from the lodges of which her husband was a member, Cut this out and paste it on your nose when you come home very late. In Bermuda the gay native now indulges in ripe strawberries. Here we amuse ourselves with tne ripe Manitoba blizzard, which comes to us without the trouble of plucking it or sending for it. The Boston Traveller says that a man who was sent to prison for having two wives ex- cused h.im.sfl}( by saying that when be had one she fought him, but when he had two they fought each other. 1t is very exasperating to break your teeth on bearding house piocrust and then find nothing but vacancy within.—[Boston Trans- cript. If your teeth are vacant you should have them filled. Professor Hitchcock says that a “study of the crystalline rocks on the Atlantic slope in- dicatas the presence of ovoidal areas of Lau- rentian gnelsses.” Lxuctly! And when you seo & young man and & young maiden under the same umbrella on the beach, that's what they're looking for, and they usually have a Very gneiss time, *Allow me to compliment you on the last issue of your paper,” said & geutloman to an editor. 'L think its the best number that you have ever issued.” *Your kind words are too late,” the editor. responded, *‘for with the last 1ssue I suspended the publication of Tho Horn.” ~ “Yes, I know,” rejoined the friend, “and that’s why I thought the last issue was the best.”—[Arkansaw Traveller. Croup is prevailing to an alarming extent at Columbus, Ohio, this winter, and there is little hope of its abating, since the only reme- dy is a constant rubbing of the nose and chest with Standard oll. Goose greaso used to be the specific, hut when there is senatorial ma- larin in the air, Standard oil is the only kind of grease that will accomplish tho desired results. The more the patient gets of it, the more he hankers afte i Y ot i An Army of Eight Hundred. Mz, VEryoN, Mp.—Richard Cromwell, Esq., President Mt. Vernon Co, enploy- ing eight hundred hands in cotton mills, hoartily endorses St. Jacobs Oil, the great pawn-cure, el 2 Next year, in_addition to tho usual mid- summer season of French plays at the Gay- ety, London will have an autumn and winter soason of the best Parisian performances. The Royalty theatro has been secured by Mr, M. L. Mayer aud Mr. John Hollingshead from October, 1884, to M 1885, inclusive, 1f Schroter & Boecht, the druggists,donot suc coed itisnot for the want of faith, They have such fuith in Dr. Bosanko's Cough and Lung syrup as o remedy for Colds, Consumption, and |ung affections,that they will give a bottlo free ta cach and every one who is in need of a medicine of this kin¢ The followiug Interesng advertisement ap- geors fn » Tondon paper: M, und Miss fay havo loft-off clothing of every descrip- tion.” ‘L'hese ladies aro probably intending to come over to New York and go into fash- fonable society, aud are now in training,— [Boston Globe e Horstord's Acid Phosphate, Unequaled Dr. R. M. Arexaxper, Fannettsburg, Pa,, says: *‘ I think Horsford’s Acid Phosphato is not equaled in any other preparation of phosphorus*” A SPECIFIC FOR gAMAR b Spasms, Convul- NEB l“ Sickness, St Vitas Dance, Alcohol- ) Fuil, Ugly Blood Discases, Dyspep= (CIOINQUIEIRIORY, %, vt A heumatism, Billousness, Costivencss, Nervous Prostration Kdney Troies and Trrelarits, $1.50. “gamaritan NEfvine is going wonders. D, J. 0. McLemoln, Alexander City, Ala. " Laughiln, Clyde, Kansas, 1t cured whero physicians tfied. " ov, slons, Falling ism, Opium Eate Scrofula, Kings sia, Nervousness, Nervows Wealness, Brain Worry, Blood 57z, uinls. “1 feel it m, sufi' .l““ recommend it." A. Edie, Beaver, Pa. Cerrespoudence freely mnswered. “68 ¥ or testimonlals aud circulars send stamp. The (r. 8.A. Richmond Med. Co., St. Josoph, Mo, Bold by all Drugxiste. an GCHARLES SHIVERICK, Furniture! ETTC.. Have just received a large quanuty of new COCELAMBEIR SUIXITES, AND AM OFFERING THEM AT VERY LOW PRICES PASSENGER ELEVATOR EHAS, SHW[H":K| 1206, 1208 nd 1210 F: 8t To All Floors. L0 AT A, NED M. HELLMAN & CO,. Wholesale Clothiers! 1301 AND 1303 FARNAM STREE? COR. 13Th, OMAHA, . 3 . - NEBRASE Anheuser-Busch . BREWING ASSOCIATION CELEBRATED Keg and Bottled Beer This Excellent Beer speaks fcr itself. ORDERS FROM ANY PAKRT OF THR STATE OR THE ENTIRE WEST, Ul Promptly Shipped. ALL OUR G00DS ARE MADE TO THESTANDARD), OfOoOurG-uarantee. F. SCHLIEF, Sole Agent for Omaha and the West, Cor. 9th Street and Capitol Avenue’ “BURLINGTON ROUTE "*If (Chicago, Burlington & Quincy Railroad.) RO~ - Ny f S s pen / < s & <. \ Tl S ey 0 e xd’ COINGC EAST AND WEST, nt Day Coaches, Parlor Cars, with Reulin: ling Chairs (3eats free), Smoking Cars, with Re- Ivolving Chairs, Pullman Palace Sleeping Cars and lthe famous C. B, & Q. Dining Cars run daily to and ltrom Chicago & Kansas City, Chicago & Council Bluffs, Chicago & Des Moines, Chicago, St. Jo- iseph, Atchison & Tofikm Only through line be- itween Chicago, Lincoln & Denver. Through cars Ibetween Indianapolis & Council Bluffs via Peoria. GOING NORTH AND SOUTH. Solid Trains of Elegant Day Coaches and Pall, man Palace Sleeping Cars are run daily to and from St. Louls, via Hannibal, %&ncm(wkuk.’ Tt to St Burlington, Cedar Rapids and Al Paul and Minneapolis; Parlor Cars with Reclinizt Chairs to and from St. Louis and Peoria and ¢} and from St Louls and Ottumwa. Only ot/ change of cars between St. Louis an Moines, Iowa, Lincoln, Nebraska, and Denvil All connections made fn Union Depots. 1t 1a Colorado. 1 [known as the great THROUGH CAR E. 1t is universally admited to be the j Finest Equipped Rallroad In the World for all Cinsses of Travel. '\ POTTER. 3d Manager. A Vice-Pres's and Gen't PERCEVAL IDYIELI, tien, Pass, AR’ Chicags. TIME TRIED AND FIRE TESTED.S Sold with an Absolute Guaran- v ey e e LANGE & FOITICK, | ‘ " H. PHILLIPS, " I E Merchant Tailor! nan [ | 1504 Faynam 8t., Next Door to Wabash Ticket Office.5 —) 'ARequests an examination of his fine stock oi WOO) c FINE SUITS A D OVERCOATS" "Also & full Tine of Enainess Sutiogs and ho:‘:fl%«: “’:h‘:‘:rymn;:% to be made in the latest styles and with the best trinwings. CALL AND SEE ME, G. I. BRADLEY, DEALER IN Lumber,Sash, Doors, Blinds,Building Paper LIME, CEMEN', HAIR, ETC. Office and Yrd, Cor, 13th and CaliforniaStreets, s OMAHA, NEB