The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, February 4, 1918, Page 17

GO EASY THERE! Don’t get smart because you're handsome, for a simple case of pox would make your face as speckled as a flock of Plymouth Roceks! Don’t get stuck on your complexion; color’s mere reflected light ; you’re as black as any nigger in the middle of the night! Don’t get-‘brash’’ because you're hearty, for perchance you’ll over eat, acquiring jaundiced liver and a gouty pair of feet! - Don’t get daffy on your wardrobe, for the season’s getting late ; when the equinox is over you’ll be sadly out of date! Don’t get flip because you’re brainy, for a tap across your block would knock your head as empty as an old discarded sock! Don’t get ‘‘puffed’’ because your family has aristocratie juice, for you néver know the minute that you’ll hit the calaboose! Don’t get ‘‘raw’’ because you’re wealthy, for one simple little slip would start you walking backward on your last financial trip! Don’t get ‘‘sure’’ about your office, for election’s coming soon, and oftentimes in politics the sun goes down at noon! Don’t be certain of your swectheart till the preacher says ‘‘Amen,’’ and then it’s well to ask him if he’ll say it once again! 2 Don’t rest too ‘‘comfty any place along life’s beaten track, then you won’t be disappointed when you’re sprawling on your J.E. T back. WHAT THEY EAT In France the folks eat horses, a pe- culiar sort of dish, And the Chinaman eats poodle dogs and rats; The blue-nosed Nova Scotians live on divers kinds of fish, And the Eskimo can wiggle through on fats. The English live on beef-steak, and their littie “sup of tay,” And the Cannibals on missionary meat, The Irish live on “praities,” or on but- termilk and hay, And the Texan thinks the rattlesnake a treat! In Missouri it is corn bread, and in Georgia it is pone, With the billy-goat it’s flannelettes and rope; ~ A dog can live in plenty just by gnaw- ing on a bone, ; And we all grow fat on PROMISES AND HOPE! * * * We are willing to call Roosevelt “the Colonel,” but when he insists upon being “the kernel,” it is right there that we balk on using his system of reformed spelling! * * * THE KAISER SEEMS WILLING TO PARTLY BACK DOWN, BUT AS YET SHOWS NO DISPOSITION TO STEP DOWN. * * *® WHEN THE INCOME TAX COL- LECTOR COMES The income tax collector is a prying sort of guy, He noses into everyone's affairs! To my neighbors I have always made my income rather high, And no doubt they’'ve been a little strong on theirs. And now comes that collector with his pencil and his book, And it’s now too late to cover up our ~ tracks! e Shall we ’fess up real conditions, no ; matter how they look, ke Or bluff it through and divvy'up the tax? *® * * A PARK RIVER (N. D)) BOY IS SAID TO HAVE PERFECTED AN ELECTRIC MOTOR WHICH TAKFS ITS ENERGY FROM THE AIR. POL- ITICIANS HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS. * ishment. . WHICH SHALL IT BE? Which shall it be; which shall it be? Do the farmers want J. A. A. B.? Or do they want a governor, Who dares to say what he is for— If he's for this, he frankly owns, If he’s for that, he makes no bones. Which shall it be, which shall it be? Do they want a man that’s up a tree, Who courts big dailies on the side, And hopes by that to save his hide, And yet would have the farmers feel He plans for them an-honest deal? Or do they want some fellow man With calloused palms and cheek of tan,' Who understands their job and needs From fixing grades to hoeing weeds? * * * One or two editors in North Da- kota are having a fit because the NONPARTISAN LEADER moved from Fargo to St. Paul.'These gen- tlemen are subject to epilepsy of this kind, and when under the spell show such a lack of logical reason- ing power that even this small mention of their ravings is a ruth. less waste of space—a waste such as Farmer Jones hates to be guiity of! ; * * * Mrs. William G. McAdoo has the dis- tinction of being the daughter of the president, and the wife of one of the president’s most trusted right-hand men. No person ever occupied a more unique position, unless it was John Scott Harrison, who was the son of a president and the father of a president. ¥ * * * William Jennings Bryan ought to be the happiest man on earth. One by one, all the “radical™ measures which he advocated in 1896, 1900 and 1908, are becoming realities. There is no use stopping to enu- merate them—sufficient to say that every great reform law (with few exceptions) passed in recent years was advocated by the Peerless One - fong, long ago. We dare say that his peace hopes will be realized in full within the next five years— providing the kaiser gets his need- inge. * *® * ‘There are Leagues, and rumors of Leagues; but so far as we can learn, the National Nonpartisan league is the only one able to sit up and take nour- AN OPEN LETTER-READ IT! Dear Fellow League Members: I'm just a plain farmer and not much of a hand at letter writing but I've got something to say to you that I want you to get—so here goes. : I've been farming in North Dakota 20 years—growing wheat. Have had the usual hard work and the same experience as the rest of the N. D. farmers. Have struggled along in debt—been forced to sell my wheat at whatever they offercd me, been docked, underweighed, robbed coming and going, just like the rest of you. I voted for the terminal elevator bill whenever I got a chance, feeling sure it would give us a new deal. Then I went with the bunch down to Bismarck to see why the men we had elected didn’t do what we had elected them to do. Believe me I was sore when they told us to “go home and slop the hogs.” Townley didn’t have to argue with me much when he sprung the League proposition on me. I joined right then and was proud to be one of the original $6 suckers. 1 boosted all 1 could—helped the organizer in our township—advertised the meetings. And I tell you I am proud of the record of the League in North Dakota. But, as I read the Leader cvery week I saw what a fight we were up against—not only in North Dakota but in all the other states. T saw too, that if we North Dakota farmers were to get any real relief we would have to work together with the farmers of the other states. There’s a lot to these problems and we’ll all have to stand together to get rid of the big robbers. X - Then I began to feel that T ought to do more to help. Here are my boys - growing up—they have no place to go to pioneer like I did. If they are to- have a chance I saw that it was up to me to get into this fight and “Help: win it now. Here was Townley—he was a plain farmer just like me, and’ he had worked out this League plan and showed us that it would work. It looked to me like it was up to the rest of us to pitch in and help him. Then I wondered what I could do. T thought it over and came to the conclusion that organization was the thing we needed. If we could have every farmer in the League with us, the rest would be easy. Then I won- dered if I could help with the organizing. I knew what we wanted, and if I just had a little help getting it all together and had a little boost in how to go about it, I felt that I could go to farmers like myself and get them into the League. But I didn’t know whether they would really want an old hayseed like myself, so I held back. Then one day I saw in the Leader that organizers were wanted and that the League had a plan to give men like me just the information they needed. I wrote in to Headquarters, and to make a long story short, I took the training course and started to work. T’ve been working down in Nebraska for about six weeks now and I want to tell you I’'m doing fine and sure enjoy it. The farmers down here are just the-same sort of Hiram Rubes as us North Dakota farmers. They are up against the same sort of a game and they are ready for the League. Thanks to the training course, I am ready for all their questions and ob- jections and I know how to tell them what the League means. I am en- rolling members right along and it sure makes me feel good. I know I am right on the firing line in the biggest fight for the farmers of the U. S. that was ever put up. I didn’t expect to make any money out of the work and wouldn’t have ‘felt bad if it had cost me some money this winter, for I figured I’d put in the winter at it and then go home for the spring work. But ’'m making a good living out of it and I like the work so well that T figure on going home for a couple of weeks and getting the boys started-on the seeding and then let them handle the farm while I go on organizing. We are going to have a hot campaign next year, and I am going to do all in my power to help put it over. Now this is why I have written all this for the Leader. I know you don’t care about what I am doing particularly. But I’ve seen enough of this proposition to care a lot about what you are doing. I know that you ought to be doing just what I am doing. I know that you can do it just as well as I can, and I want you to see that this is your fight and mine. It’s up to us to win it. ‘We can if we can get enough farmers into the League to carry the elections. We can do that, you and me and all the rest of us if we will get into the game and fight. Townley and the rest at the National office have done their part, and - will keep on. But they can’t win without us. They need us. I'm going to stay with them until the game is won. The boys can hold the farm down for a year. They may make mistakes and may not do things just as I would or maybe make as much of a crop. But my fight will help get more for what they do raise. And besides I can make enough out of my work for the League to help out. Anyway I am convinced from my ex- perience that it is the only way—and I want you to get into the fight too. Arrange your affairs so that you can help put this organizing job across. I know that it will be the best work you ever did for yourself and the family. Write to the National Headquarters about doing this organization work. We can use more men here in Nebraska, and they tell me they need men in the other states, Iowa, Kansas, South Dakota, Colorado, Montana, and all the rest of them. Come on! What an old Hiram Rube like me can do, the rest of you can do. = Yours for the hide of Big Business, JOHN HANSON. Read Mr. Hanson’s letter. It hits the nail on the head better than anything we could say. Then send us the enclosed coupon and we will tell you what to do to get into the game like he did. NATIONAL NONPARTISAN LEAGUE GILFILLAN BLOCK, ST. PAUL, MINN. Educational Department. Send me particulars of organization work and the training course. AdAress:.. il . e i S v o s AR SO S Sl