The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, January 28, 1918, Page 11

EER Mistur Editur: Will B, Crafty iz better. In fack he’s settin’ up in bed and the doc- tors and nurses all admit that he may live to be a hundred years old yit, ef he don’t die betfore, and I hope -you air the same. This mornin’ me an’ Slipry an’ Dodger went over to the horspittal an’ had a long visit with the big boss an’ he seamed almost hizself agin. He wuz settin’ up in bed; az' I sed, with a pack uv ice on hiz hed an’ a hot-water bottle to hiz feet. The doctors say that it iz awful hard to keep hiz feet warm—in fack it iz the wurst case uv cold feet : they have ever seed or heard uv. I spoze we stayed an’ visited with Crafty an hour or an hour an’ a half an’ the red hedded nurse changed the hot- water bottle a dozen times, ef she changed it onct. Ever little bit Crafty wood ring the bell an’ when the nurse wood cum to the door he wood say: ‘“Hot-water bottle, dearie, pleze.” She wood refill the bottle, snuggle it up to- hiz feet, pat the covers an’ smile an’ then Crafty wood - smile— then we all smiled, an’ Dodger winked at me an’ I coughed, hemed an’ cleared my throat an’ that wuz all. After things had got quieted down Crafty ast how things wuz goin’ an’ we told him they wuz goin’ alrite. “In fack ever thing seams to be goin’ good, but about the fastest thing I've heard uv,” sed Dodger, winkin’ at me, “iz the Nonparteshun Leeg.” DODGER HECKLES CRAFTY AT HOSPITAL “Whadda ye mean by that?’ ast Crafty, excitedly while the ice pack slid over on one year. “I mean that the Leeg iz spreadin’ thru the country like German soldiers goin’ thru Belgium an’ thar don’t seam " to be nuthin’ that’ll stop it.” Crafty rung the bell an’ called the ‘nurse to change the hot-water bottle agin, : “Dodger,” he sed, lookin menacin’ly, “you talk like a quitter—like a dod- gasted quitter.” : “I may talk like a quitter,” shot back Dodger, “but I haint got cold feet.” 2. 2 e G s T o water bottles for hiz cold feet. Crafty’s Feet Drop ~ to Zero Point BY I. B. RIPP, the Reporter — N < e P on >, AL s S e ‘We found Crafty settin’ up in bed with Ice on hiz head an’ h “Shet up, shét rite up, an’ do it quick,” roared Crafty. - “Surtainly I'll shet up but that won’t stop the Nonparteshun Leeg,” count- ered Dodger. “You've got to do sum- thin’ besides beller an’ roar an’ fly offen the handle like a cross kid, ef you’re goin’ to hed off this Leeg.” “Jist wait a minnit,” insisted Dodger -when Crafty started to but in. But Crafty wood not wait. “I insist that them leeders uv the Leeg. air disloyal an’ unpaytriotic an’ ought to be strung up by the necks till they're ded,” he sed. CRAFTY GETS ANGRY ' AT MR. DODGER “What maiks you think so?” de- manded Dodger. s “Think so, think so,” exclaimed Crafty. “I don’t need to think so. I “know so jist az you ought-to know so, an’ as ever body else knows so.” “But what iz your proof”— “Proof L! Proof L! Why the papers air full uv it—plum chock full uv it— full ‘uv it ever day,” thundered Crafty, straightenin’ the ice pack on his hed agin. “Have you heard enny uv them utter enny disloyal or unpaytriotic things?” inquired Dodger, .coolly. “Don’t need to hear ’em; read it in the papers, I tell you, you simpleton,” exclaimed the big boss exasperatedly, “read it in the papers.” “Well, don’t they put fellers in jail: ‘fur disloyal utterances?” ast Dodger, sorter meekly. : ‘““’Xactly so, ’xactly so!”. triumph- antly returned Crafty, “an’ that’s jist what I'm sayin’ ought to be dun with the Leeg leeders.” “Ain’t the guver-ment puttin’ peeple in jail ever day fur disloyal utter- ances?” pried Dodger, spreadin’ a lit- tle camouflage over the hole which Crafty wuz goin’ to fall into. : “Shore they air, shore they air,” he answered, hiz ize brightein’ with hope. WHY IS TOWNLEY NOT IN'JAIL? ASKS DODGER “Well, how doze it cum that Mr. Townley and the uther Leeg leeders iz “Say, ef you don't like this job why don’t you quit it?” shot Crafty, still runin’ loose and maikin’ speeches all over the country, ef they air maik- in’ disloyal speeches, an’ ef the guver'- ment officials air doin’ their duties— why don’t they get 'em, ef there’s enny truth in theze reports?” “That’s what I'm sayin’, why?— why ?—why ?—er ” “Why, the reezon is,” butted in Dodger, “the reezon is that thar aint a dodgasted word uv truth in theze nuzepaper reports and the proof uv it iz that theze fellers air still runin’ loose, fur you know, Will B. Crafty, ef you know which end you're settin’ on—you know that detecktives air on the trail uv theze men all the time and you know furthermore, that every politishun in "the country is clamorin’ fur the arrest uv theze men, and you also know that ef thar wuz the slightest pretext fur their arrest they would have bin arest- ed a long time ago, you know that, ef you know ennything.”, Crafty rung the bell so long and so hard that the nurse come on the ded run an’ Crafty didn’t smile when she busted into the.-room, but yelled: “Hot water, hot water!” az loud az he could yell- She rusteled around az fast az she could to git a fresh bottle next to hiz ‘feet an’ at the same time, ever though hiz feet wuz cold, hiz hed wuz so hot that the drops uv prespershun wuz runin’ down hiz face like crocodile tears runnin’ down the brass covered cheeks uv a politishun while maikin’ a Fourth uv July speech. Dodger shyly cast a couple uv ize over in my directshun while Slipry bit hiz lip perplexedly. Otherwise thar wuz a deafenin’ downpour uv silence. ALL IN THE FIGHT JUST FOR THE COIN “You ' two-faced sun-uv-Judas, you talk like you wuz fur this dodrotted Leeg,” exclaimed Crafty, turnin’ hiz hagard an, presperin’ face upon the willy Dodger. “No, I aint fur the Leeg nor I aint fur the gang, neither,” replied Dodger, calmly. “What I'm fur iz the munny I git outen it.”. “The h——,” said Crafty. “Yes, that’s what I say, an’ that’s what you'd say, too, ef you'd tell the truth,” cum back Dodger, heatedly. “Not only so, but that’s what all uv us air in this dingbusted fite fur—jist the munny, jist thé munny.” “The Nonpartisans too, I suppoze,” cut in Slipry. ¢ ; ; ‘“Shore, shore,” joined Crafty. “Well, admittin’ that,” rejoined Dodger, “admittin’ that sum uv ’em— ‘that iz, sum uv the leeders iz in the ' thing fur the munny they git:outen it, you must admit that ef you consider the amount _g't work ‘thvx_ey .do an ‘the ELEVEN amount of munny they spend—you must admit, I repeet, that they aint gitten much outen it. An’ moreover they’'re gitten sumwhere with their work, an’ that’s more’n can be sed fur your job.” “Say, ef you don’t like this job, why don’t you quit it?” shot Crafty, “and jine the Nonparteshuns.” “Becauze they can’t pay me az much az Big Biz,” quietly returned Dodger. Crafty jammed the bell agin an’ be- gin to holler fur the nurse an’ durin’ the excitement we slipped outten the room an’ left him in hiz misery. Yoors trooly, RIPP. (To be continued in a subsequent issue) MUST HAVE ASSISTANCE Niagara, N. D. Editor Nonpartisan Leader: What ought to be done to solve the feed and seed shortage is a question, but there is one thing that I want to place before the attention of us all. Often when public action is asked or taken there is too much “red tape.” There is no one in the Northwest but that would like to see those who have had poor crops or practical crop fail- ures for two years get a good and early start next spring for a success- ful and large crop the coming sum- mer. g The fact is that feed crops of any and all' kinds are scarce and high in price all over, so much so in the Northwest that we pay 70 to 80 cents for 32 pounds of oats and higher than that for other feeds. A fellow finds that it will cost something before his crop is put in and in many cases they are without hay or even good straw for the rough feed to go along with oats or other feeds. It is upon this point that I have in mind to bring my idea before the at- tention of all interested in the mat- ter. The fact is that in the Red River valley a fair crop of wheat was raised in most cases and there is consequent- ly a large lot of straw on most farms that will not be consumed on the farms and will be left over and be- wasted. Can not some arrangement be got on foot to have this straw baled up and shipped west where it can . be used and take the place of hay when hay can not be got? If this state or the general govern- ment . through appointed authorities will take hold of the matter and get up baling apparaus at several stations along the railroad T am confident that the farmers who have good wheat straw abundant will be willing to haul it to such places for a nominal ‘price for hauling. ‘Let us hear from others; s s -Gy J. SUNDAHL.