The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, October 11, 1917, Page 14

. ADVERTISEMENTS It contains a rare story of winter discomfort succeeded by real comfort; of big fuel expenditures cut dqwn from 35% to 509 ; of unusual conveniences made possible in old or new houses, churches, halls and business blocks. When you consider the question of heating your home this fall, you should have it before you. It’sthe simple stories of people who have solved that question to their complete satisfaction by installing the P PIPELESS o = ALORI The Original Patented Pipeless Furnace They put in this furnace because of these remarkable guaranteed advantages: 1. Only one register is needed; no pipes in walls or basement. 2, It will heat your house comfortably and evenly. . The cellar will be cool enough to store fruits and vegetables all winter. . It will save you35% of your fuel bill-some say more. The firepot is guaranteed for five years. 6. It will burn any fuel. 7. Its heating principle is both scientific and healthful. MEETS ALL CONDITIONS The Caloric Pipeless Furnace meets all these condi- tions fairly and squarely. Itisguaranteed by the oldest and largest manufacturer of warm air heating systems in the United States. We want you to see this book, together with our “Progress” booklet, which describes the principle of Caloric heating. Ask your dealer, or write to us di and we will send you a copy of both by return mail. - The Monitor Stove & Range Co. 5135 Gest St. Cincinnati, Ohio TRADE | MARK | Equity Co-Operative Exchange GRAIN COMMISSION : Owned and controlled by farmers. CONSIGNMENTS SOLICITED Bill your shipments of grain to St. Paul, Minn., or Superior, Wis Consign all shipments of livestock to South St. Paul, Minn. A Letter Frorfi Congressman Lindbergh, Who Purchased a Car of Livestock Through Your Own Selling Agency Little Falls, Minn., Sept. 8, 1917, Equity Co-Operative Exchangg¢ South St. Paul, Minn. ; Attention F, B. Wood, Mgr. Gentlemen: The carload of stock which I purchased through you came in fine shape and I wish to thank you very much for the care you took in getting this carload of stock together for me, They looked well when I took them off the car but now after a week on first-class pasture, they are a delight to look at. My boy, fifteen years old, is very much interestéd in live- stock and.is well pleased with this car. Respectfully, (Signed) C. A. LINDBERGH. The Equity Co-Operative Exchange - St. Paul, Minnesota—Superior, Wisconsin Livestock Department - South St. Paul, Minn. Mention Leader when writing a.dveytlsers EER Mistur Editur. — (Delay- ed)—Jist after my last inter- vue with Mr. Crafty I seen in the paper that a young man Wwuz up in the mountains near Mr. Pike’s Peak playin’ that he wuz Father Adam. This put a grate idee into my head. So puttin’ my idee into actshun, I slipped on a pair up B. V. D.s, tuck a box uv crackers and a stick uv sausage under my arm an’ beet it fur the jungles. I decided to try some of this here ‘“back-to-nature” stuff myself. Well, after trampin’ thru the jungles, climbin’ over logs, tearin’ thru vines an’ slidin’ back over cliffs up to about midnite— O, yes, I -had on a wrist watch, too—an’ not findin’ enny garden uv Eden, I cum to the conclu- shun that I wuz lost, an’ shore anuf I wuz. Fur the rest uv the nite I layed on my back, counted the stars an’ prey- ed fur Mr. Pike to cum along and dis- cover me az he had once discovered -his peak. The next mornin’ I finished up my crackers and sausage, wound up my wrist watch, turned my back on all imaginary gardens uv Eden and start- ed back to whur I node thar wuz plenty uv parks full uv regular modern, ever- day Adams and Eves. An’ thank Alla, or whoever is responsible fur it, I am back—also discovered. Mr. Crafty discovered me jist as I had got my civilized duds on an’ wuz beetin’ it fur a place to git sumthin’ on the inside az well az on the outside. CRAFTY KNOWS HOW TO ORDER A MEAL “Whur air you heded fur?” he ex- claimed, slappin’ me on the shoulder, jist az I turned the corner hikein’ fur a “grab-it-an’-eat-while-you-run” lunch counter. I showed him a concave in my stummich big anuf to hide a dog in an’ sed, sez I: “Goin’ to git this filled up.” “Good! Cum with me,” se sed, takin’ me by the arm, - I tole him Barkus wuz shorely willin’ an’ we wended our way to one uv the swellest rest-your-aunts in the burg. Crafty Tells Plans By I. B. RIPP, the Reporter uv the highest type. They can runm rings around the average politeshun on intermediate. Why, take an old general like me, an’ thay sent me back to the third line trenches like von Kluck fallin’ back frum Paris.” A CONFESSION THAT LEAGUE PUT ONE OVER I glanced at him an’ betrayed jist ; the least mite uv surprize az I licked up the remants uv a Hungarian Goo- lash, while he sent the ever-watchful meniel fur another glass uv tea. “I'm confessin’ to you, Mr. Head,” he sed, speakin’ confidentially. “I'm cone fessin’ to you that thay put one over on me, even. I'm confessin’ this soze to impress you with the necessity an' im- portance uv the fite we're'up agin. An’ mind you I aint licked—not by a rale< rode-water-tank full. This fallin’ back wuz only a Hinderburgian strategio move, az it wur, so to speak.” He stammered, showing embarrass« ment. “I am preparin’ now to maik—to maik—not only a stand, but a drive that’ll sweep all uv the Nonparteshun agitators into the Sargasso sea uvw oblivion—you know what I mean,” he said. I assured him that I did, when in fact I didn’'t know az much about what he meant az I did about the meanin’ uv the mythological hyroglyphics on a Hindu god at Calcutta, or the signifi- cance uv the senseless an’ indecyferble lingo on the menue card at the rest- your-aunt. ‘“Yes, sir,” he muzed, stirin’ the ice tea. “That's what I'm doin' out here— linin' up fur the battle. An' believe me, Mr, Head, this'll be sum line-up. Jist yisterday I had a conference up at Denver with sum.uv the richest men uv the nashun. Denver, az you mite know, iz the headquarters, az it wur, uv three uv the most powerful corpor- atshuns in America. Thay air, the grain an’ millin’ interests, the coal and transportashun interests an’ the sugar beet combine. Theze three consurns, Mr. Head, az you mite know, control “l thought I'd try the back-to-nature stunt” A convict-lookin’ waiter led us thru a maze uv tables, past where a gramma.- fone wuz playin sumthin’ about a Wikkiloolahoola girl an’' seeted us in a little booth all by ourselves. Now I want to tell you, Mistur Ede- tur, that man Crafty noze how to order a meal fur a hungry man. ‘The con- vict-lookin’ waiter had to make three trips to bring the first coarse an’ az 1 pitched it in with both hands I could see that concave place in my middle fillin’ up like a balloon at a county fair, All the time I wuz a-eatin’ Crafty wuz a-sippin’ ice tea, smokin’ seegars an’ a-talkin’ to beet sixteen wimmen at a quiltin’ bee, “Now don't misunderstand me, Mr, Hed,” sez he. “I don’t mean to convey the idee that all them fellers what's runnin’ this Nonpartishun leeg is fools, Not by a durn site.. They've got sum fellers that's az sharp az an up-turned ‘tack at midnite when the baby’s got the collick. They've got braines, I tell you—more braines than a lot uv ivory- pated, bone-headed, short-sited biz- nessmen uv the stait have got. They're generals, strategists an’ sychologists PAGE FOURTEEN practically ever-thing in the inter< mountain region. Thay've got dray loads uv munny to spend to hed off this crazy movement an’ thay're goin’ to spend it jist as freely az the rain falls at 2 o'clock on Pikes Peak. Not only are theze interests solidly lined up but their allies along the line air ready fur axion—Omaha, Minneapolis, Chic~ ago and New York—that's the thirdq line uv defence.” WILL LINE UP THE ' PAPERS, RIPP HEARS “How air you goin’ to do it?” I makin’ a drive that mowed half the corn off uv a roastin’ ear at one fell SWoop. He leened back in hiz cheer, took a long draught at his seegar, blew a halt dozen rings uv smoke az big as auto tires an’ trled to hang ‘em on the chandelter over the table. I seen over the top uv my corn cob that he wus in a dark, gray studdy. I seen that the “how” he wuz goin’ to do it wuz about az clean to him as mud, “Well,” he sed levelin’ hiz ize at me azlrmhedtnrmthlrde&ruvcom.