The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, May 3, 1917, Page 12

Sorry Tells What's Wrong But---Wait a Minute and Learn What It Is That’s Gives Mr. Sorry His Pain BY RIP, THE REPORTER EER Mistur Editur.—The more I see uv this fite betwixt the Nonpartishuns an" the stan’ patters the more interrested I git an’ the more I'm con- vinced that the Nonpartishuns is rite. It peers to me that the Nomparti- shuns has got a ansur for every objeckshun that the stan' patters maik an’ that the stan’ patters aint got no ansur fur the arguments that the Non- partishuns maik. On wunr side you heer facks, figgers and logick. On the uther side you heer nuthin” but abuce an’ vilificashun. When a stan® patter gits a bunch o' bizness men, bankers. and drummers around him he haz ezy salin’, but let a farmer appear on the seen and opem hiz guns an” begin to drap bumshells into 'em an’ Mr. Stan’ patter commences to look fur hiz dug- out. Now jist the uther day I wuz up to a little burg on the branch a-waitin’ fur a trane. I wuz settin’ in the hotel grately absorbed in readin’ a very in- terrestin’ artickle in a farm paper call- § ed Hogpens and Chicken Coops, tellin’ how to maik too pigs grow whur wun growed before. MR. SORRY TALKS— . AND TALKS, AND TALKS ‘Thar wuz also a half duzzen uther fellers settin’ around talkin’ an' wun uv 'em wuz a-lambastin’ the Non- partishun Leeg to beet the ban’. He wuz a tall feller withh a sort uv a pinted bunch uv whiskers on hiz chin an’ hiz name, ef I understood’ correctxy wuz Sorry. Az I sed, he wuz a-talkin’ to beet sixteen wimmen at'a qulltm bee an’ the uther fellers wuz a-noddin’ ther heds an’ a-swallerin’ ewery ‘word he sed. Over in wun corner sot a tall skin- ny feller, wrapped up in a big sheep- skin overcoat, ‘a koonskin cap pulled down over his hed, a smokin" a corn- cob pipe an’ a-squintin’ at' the noisy feller with two black, beedy ize. I had finished readin’ anuther short artickle * that told about how to maik the hens. lay dubble-yoaked aigs, soze to git two chickens from one shell when Mr. Sorry, ef that wuz his name, waxed more elogquent an, hucked her up in high, as it wur. “Understand me now, gentlemen,” he sed, “I'm not opposin’ farmers’ or- ganishuns, fur I Dbeleeve farmers have a right to organize; I beleeve they ought to organize fur theer own proteckshun, but I don’t beleeve in the Nonpartishun Leeg. It ain’t an organ- ‘izashun at all. It ain’t got no bi-laws or no constitushun and how can it be a organizashun?" Az he sed this all the uther fellers, except the skinny clect dellygates an’ yit tha. h.a.d a con- venshun an' put up candydates an’ then an’ thar I quit ’em cold an’ I bin a-fitin’ 'em ever sinst”. At this time the tall feller over in the corner wuz a-nockin’ out hiz pipe on the toe uv hiz boot an’ when Mr. Sorry finished he riz to hiz feet an’ the fire- wurks commenced. A FEW QUESTIONS FOR MR. 0. J. SORRY “Jist a. minnit, jist a minnit, thar Mr. Q. J. Sorry,” sed the tall feller in tones that sounded Ike draggin’® a wood rasp across a jint uv stovepipe. _into the Republican party,” farmers’ organizashun?”' he cum back in a flash. “Well, I—" “Well, why hain’t ye?’ cut in the feller in the koonskin cap. *“I say why hain’t ye?” “You say the Nonpartishun Leeg ain’t no organizashun becuz it ain’t got no bi-laws an’ constitushun?” “Certainly it ain't” sed Sorry, sorter - triumfantly. “Iz the Republican party a arganiza« - shum?* ‘“‘Shore ¥. b 1 “Did you ever see its bi-laws an’ constitushun?’ shot the tall feller. ™ ' it iz, shore it iz exulted “No it ain't a differunt thing,” cut in the farmer. “But the members don’t pay no dues cum back Sorry. ; IT' HAS NO DUES, BUT GETS THERE JUST THE SAME “Well, whur doz it git its munny ' then?” “It don’t got nun,” replied Sorry . huntin’ fur a hole. “Thu h it donm't! Whur doz it . git- its campai’'n funds then? Whur -doz it git:the milluns that it uses to send out winjammin' orators: to:tell us . - farmers :to ‘vote’r strait’ ef tha don’t “Talkin’ to beet sixteen wimmen at a quiltin’ bee”—— feller ‘over in the corner, nodded and gulped approval. - “Jist to show you how anxious I am . to: have a, farmers’ organizashun I'm willin’ rite now to pay 25 dollars mem- bership fee into an organizashun that is an organizashun,” he sed tuggin’ at hiz sharp pinted@ whiskers with hiz left hand. “Now I jined this Nonpartishun Leeg :an” pade mi six dollars and wuz in fur it till tha had the county convention at Hailsburrow. Mi precinct did not even Mr. Sorry flinched an’ dodged like a cow hit in the eye with a nubbin uv corn. “I want to ax you a fu questions an' also tell you a fu things’ he sed stridin’ over in frunt uv Mr. Serry an’ pullin’ pitched it on a cheer an” sailed in. “You say you beleeve in farmers’ or- ganizashuns?* he ast in harsh tones. “Most assuredly I do,” replied he with the pinted whiskers. “Have you ever tried to bild a ADVERTISEMENT | B to act 1s NOW. Bismarck %—“:u—t TN off his sheepskin overcoat. git no munny? I'll tell you whur tha get the munny. Tha get it frum the rich guys an’ it is the rich guys that gits the bennefits. That's the reezon we farmers has decided to have a or- ganizashun uv our own, an’ finance it ourselves an’ then we no it will wurk _fur our interrest.” Bi this time Mri Sorty/'lowed he had’ no time to. argufy. but the tall feller: Wwuz in no noshun to-quit.’ ' “Now I-sed I wuz goin;to- tell you a fu things, an’ I am,” hesed “L no, 'why the Leeg boys did not have a pre-! cinct meetin’ in your precinct. It wuz becuz they node you wood be thar and’ that you wood want to be a dellygate an’ tha didn't want vou, so they jist decided not to have enny precinct con= (Continued on page I&) A i Guarantee Fund Life Association OMAHA, NEBRASKA (Sixteenth Year) Largest savings available only for payment claims, in proportion to total claims, sustained, of any company of equal age and volume, regardless of plan. Annual Rate per $1,000.00 Insurance (Age 39) ........... .................. $13.00 (Other ages, 21 to 50 years, in same proportion.) Policy-holders’ interests are Safeguarded by Deposits of First Mortgage Farm Loans with Nebraska Insurance De- partment as Required by Law. Our Policies Provide Pure Insurance Protection at Reasonable Cost tire wealthy have died poor. Should your family or dependents take all the risk and worry? Are you betting that you will live to make a fortune for them ar save enough to protect them? If so, the odds are overwhelmingly against you. A GUARANTEE FUND LIFE Poliey will re- move this distressing hazard. It will bring to you comfort and peace of mind and at a cost of but a few cents a day. Send us your name and address, with your age at nearest birthday, and full mformatxon will be mailed. The time THOUSANDS of Men who confidently expected to re- Fill out this blank and mail it to: Thomas Hall, ° : Bismarek, N. D. Dear Sir: Please supply me with information regarding your plan .00.00 of your insurance. and cost of §... Namae, & =ncobas St Address............ Special Address.... Date of Birth.......... R e IT WILL PAY YOU TO INVESTIGATE THOMAS HALL STATE AGENT |WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWMWWMWWWWWWWWWWWN M Mention Leader when writing advertisers TWELVE ................ ‘aelneene el ....................... o North Dakota T ! WU ® Mention Leader when writing advertisers