The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, April 26, 1917, Page 7

- Will Stick Tells Some Facts Organizer Stingum Has Some Hard Luck “Ca‘rrying- the Truth to the People” —Truth Meets Him More Than Half Way BY RIP, THE REPORTER ) EER Mistur Editur—The way the Nonpartishun Leegs iz a-springin’ up all over the cuntry reminds me uv a insi- dent that occurred in mi life about 40 years ago. We lived down in the flint hills uv Missury an’' wun day when Paw wuz out lookin' fur the horses he found a bee-tree. So on Saturday we all went to cut the bee-tree. Paw an’ Maw and all uy us kids went along. After we got the tree cut down an’ the beez smoked out Paw an’ Maw wuz a-takin’ out: the honey in big chunks and puttin’ it in buckets an’ pans an’ us kids wuz standin’ around puttin® it in our mouths an’ smearin’ it over our faces. Purty sune Maw found a big sheet uv comb with a lot uv young beez in it an’ she exclaimed, “O! look here at the Yyoung beez”. Mi little sister about two years old Wuz a-cramin’ honey with both hands an’ hearin’ what Maw sed an’ supposin’ that young beez was sumthin’ good to eaf, begin to squall, “I wanta young bée, I wanta young bee”, an’ jist then an old bee cum along an’ lit rite on her noze—an'! then the woods begin to echd Wwith screams an’ wails that waked up the owls and started the turkeys to gobblin'—she wuz stung! “WE WANT A LEAGUE TOO", THEY ALL SAY Two yeers ago, Mistur Editur, when the Nonpartishun Leeg furst started nearly ever nuzepaper in the cuntry, most ever politishun in the cuntry, a lot uv bizness men an’ uthers wuz dedly opposed to the Leeg an’ never lost a opportunity to fite it tuth an’ nale. Tha tried ever meens node to human injunity an’ satanic cunnin’. to kill it. Tha sed sich reforms wuz not needed at THIS time. That the equity, the farmers’ clubs an’ uther farm or- ganizashuns wuz a-solvin’ the farmers’ problems an’ that no sich efforts wuz necessary. s But the Leegers did not pay no at- tenshun to them but went rite on an’ organized an’ air still organizin’. Then all uv a sudden the cry starts up all ovér the cuntry, “We want a Non- partishun Leeg, we want a Nonparti- shun ILeeg, we want a Nonpartishun Leeg.” An’ so, down in Minnesota a couple or three fellers haz incorporated a Nonpartishun Leeg. Then we have Sherry Saltpork, Tom Barker Bunkum an’ 0. J. Sorry, startin’ wun up at Bust- ed, N. D. I spoze the next thing we know John D. Robbafeller, O. Whata- wad, A. Hugeroll an’ I. Gotrocks will be startin’ Leegs all over the cuntry. I also maik the predickshun rite here an’ now that sumbody'll git stung be- fore it's over. . : This reminds me, Mistur Editur, uv a little commoshun that took place at the home uv wun uv mi frends up in Grate Prongs county the uther day. I wuz visitin’ mi ole frend, I. Will Stick an’ we wuz havin’ the time uv our lives talkin’ about the grate sport we used to have shakin’' possums outen poppaw treez an’ 'simmon bushes, down in the flint hills when a slick lookin’ feller drove up in a six sylinder Crackerjack an’ tooted hiz horn fur us to cum out. A CRACKERJACK ORGANIZER AND HIS LITTLE TALK We went out to the car an’ he intro- duced hisself as Mr. Stingum, an’ pro- seeded to run off a string uv stuff about organizashun. He sed that organ- izashun wuz the rite thing to do— provided that sed organizashun wuz alwayz in the hands uv the rite pee- ple; that ever body ought to be organ- ized an’ that all classes, whuther farm- ers or fakers, bankers or buncoers, proletariats or politishuns shud all be- long to the saim organizashun. An’ that he wuz out organizin’ jist sich a organishun. Mi frend Stick, squinted wun i at him an’ sed, sez he: “What's the naim uv your organiza- shun”? “Everybody’s Nonpartishun Leeg,” he replied, sorter pompously. % “What you want is to get it under YOUR control”. “0, I belong to that,” sed Stick. “No, this iz a nu wun that we've jist started”, sed the slick lookin' feller, a-flippin’ a bit uv seegar ashers._offen hiz cotesleve with hiz finger. “This iz a regular organizashun, an’ iz run bi the members an’ not bi a fu carpet- baggers”, he went on. “0, this wun iz run to sute me alrite,” sed Stick. “I don't see how it cud be run better. It gits thar an’ that's more'n I've ever seed enny uther or- ganizashun do. An' az long a it gits thar an’ doze the bizness I'm satisfide.” WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE THESE RUN YOUR LEAGUE? “I know, but you want a organiza- shun that iz run by respectable men.” “How do you know I do?" snapped Stick. “How do you know I want mi or- ganizashun run bi men that YOU call respectable? Men that you call re- spectable I mite consider very onre- spectable. It depends on whose got strings tied to 'em. .I call a man re- spectable ef he serves the majority uv the peeple. You call him disrespect- able ef he don’t serve a fu uv the pee- ple”, sed Stick gittin’ red in the face. “But this organizashun iz goin’ to have a REAL executive committee an’ not a bunch uv’'— “Who iz your executive committee?’ [demanded the. farmer gettin’ more an’ more riled. “Here’s their naims”, ansured Sting- um, pintin’ to the sheet uv paper he had onfolded. Stick red them off, an’ they wuz az follers: I. M. Hasbin, B. S. Bamboozle, M. E. Woodbee, I. B. Retired an’ A. Jay O’Kicker fire a-flashin’ from hiz ize an I node the stars wood begin to shoot in a min- nit. X WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO HELP THE FARMER? “Say,” he sez, pintin’ hiz finger strate at the slick feller's noze, “your naim mite be Stingum, but I'll be danburned ef you can sting me, see? I know ever wun uv them fellers an’ I woodn’t trust wun uv ’em az fur az I cud throw that muley cow out thar by the horn. That fellar Hasbin used to be a member uv the legislachure an’ tried to be ag’'in but a farmer beet hi last year an’ he’z bin fitin’ the Leeg ever sinst. © That feller Bamboozle, haint dun nuthin’ fur fifteen years but hornswoggle the farmers into votin’ for cheepskate politishuns. Woodbee haz had a swarm uv political beez a-buzzin’ around hiz hed fur twenty years an’’ never got to be nuthin’ but county gofer killer and official tumbleweed chaser, an’ ole Retired haz jist rented out hiz big farm an’' moved to town soze he can help out Big Biz I spoze, fur he’s always tellin’ about how much them rich guys haz dun fur the cuntry. An’ A. Jay OKicker haint dun nuthin’ fur the last ten years but kick ag'in ever thing that wus started that he didn’t start.” “Yes, but theze fellers won't have all the runnin' uv this Leeg like the big five what runs your Leeg. This Leeg will ‘be run bi all the members jist like enny uther organizashun is run’—— “What uther . organizashun, what uther .organizashun?” butted in Stick. “Thar ain’t no sich animal. Ever or- When Stick red them over: I seed » ganizashun in th€ wurld that I have THE TRUTH ABOUT BUXTON (Note—The Leader is _co-operating with all those who are sincerely trying to carry out the motto adopted at the ‘“‘anti-Socialist” conference at Grand Forks. Its motto, also, is ‘‘Carry the Truth to the People”. It has been made to appear through items printed in various so-called newspapers that ‘“a mass meeting of farmers and business men’ at Buxton on March 31 passed resolutions attacking the Nonpartisan League. In the interest of the truth campaign the following resolutions setting the public right on the matter are printed herewith.) THE BUXTON LOCAL UNION A. S. OF E. NO. 2778 We the members of Buxton Local Union A. S. of E. at regular meet- ing held at Buxton April 14, 1917 do hereby condemn resolutions declared passed at the anti-League meeting held at Buxton's town hall March 31, 1917. This is not a true sentiment of the farmers of this vicinity, as said resolutions were passed by anti-League business men from Hillsboro, - Grand Forks and O. J. Sorlie of Buxton. We further resolve that we will support the Nonpartisan League and its officers and also that we support Governor Frazier for the veto of the terminal elevator bill. Unanimously passed by all members present. (Signed) HANS THOMPSON, Pres. MARTIN NETTUM, Sec'y. _—_—_—___——_—.—**—“,_— “The farmers have a right to organize, but I don’t like THIS organization”. When a man springs that on you ask him what HE has done to build a BETTER one. Ask him protect the farimer from ROBBERY. If hehasdone MORE than the LEAGUE OR THE LEAGUE MEMBERS OF THE LEGISLAT RIGHT TO CRITICISE. URE THEN HE HAS A node or that you have node haz bin run bi a fu leeders, an’ that's alrite az long az the leeders iz alrite an’ these leeders is alrite az long as they run this organizashun soze to maik a lot uv you fellers mad. The Republican party, the Democrat party an’ all the rest uv the organizashuns, political or religious iz run bi a fu. This Leeg that you air tryin’ to organize wood be run bi Sherry Saltpork an’ the fellers that's back uv the Good Government Leeg. They wood control it bi controllin’ the papers an’ bi han'pickin’ the delly- gates. No, you can start all the Leegs you want to but I'm satisfide with this wun we've got. It's delivered the goods so far an’ that’s the reezon that you an’ Saltpork, an’ Bunkum-don't like it”, concluded Stick hammerin’ on the run- nin’ board uv the Crackerjack with his fist. WHO’S A KICKIN’ ON COST OF THE LEAGUE? “Yes, but that Leeg iz costin’ too much munny,” sed the slick feller. “Now this nu Leeg won't cost so much an’ besides you git a good paper to boot". “Good paper, hay?” roared Stick an’ a-waxin’ eloquent. “Good paper, hay?”’ I spoze you meen the Normadman or the Great Fakes Horn. Well, I want you to know that I handle them papers with the fire tongs. I woodn't feed wun uv 'em to mi hogs fur fear it'd maik 'em sick. e “An’ besides who’s kickin’ on the price uv this Leeg? Nobody but a lot uv politishuns that never pade a sent into it. It ain’t your munny that went into this Leeg. You ain't got no rite to kick. It's our munny an’ it’s our Leeg an’' we'll run it to sute ourselves an’ won't ask your advice an’' neither will we pay enny attenshun to what you say. ' Too much munny, bah! Wae Know that it taiks munny to fite the Gang. You fellers haz bin gittin' or- ganized fur years an’ years an’ years, and so you are able to maik a turrible fite and fur that reezon we've got to have plenty uv munny. We can't fite you with a cheap organizashun—the kind you want us to have. Besides we've bin payin’ out so much to grain sharks that a little thing like $8 a year don’t hurt us” “But this ain’t ’xactly to be a nu or- ganizashun,” sed Stingum, graspin’ at a straw, az it wur. “It iz jist goin’ to be an’ effort to re-organize it an’ git it under control,” “An effort, an effort, iz rite, Mr. Stingum”, shrieked Stick. “Jist an ef- fort iz all thar will be to it. You air jist waistin’ your hot wind Mr. Sting- um so you jist az well draw your stinger in an’ drive on while the drivin’ iz good”. DOES ANYBODY WANT ANY DIFFERENT CONTROL? “But you want to git your organiza- shun under better control’—— “Who in thunderashun sed I did”, roared Stick, climbin’ up in the runnin’ board uv the Crackerjack an’ shakin’ hiz fist at the smuthe mug of Mr. Stingum. “I'm satisfide with the con- trol uv it, az it iz. It's cuttin’ the mustard aint it? What you want iz to git it under your control—under the control uv the Gang. Well, thar's nuin’ doin’ around these parts, Mr. tingum, an’ I'll be dadgumed ef I'm goin’ to stand fur enny more uv your insultin’ talk. So, jist crank up your self-starter an’ git outen here before I spile your purty face fur you. I ain't in no humor to stand fur enny more uv your slams. Thar's the rode an’ the drivin’s good”—— “But, jist anuther minnit”"—— “Not anuther dodgasted wurd, I sed,” an’ Stick made a dive fur him but he had cranked hiz self-starter and he slapped on the juce so strong that Stick . was nearly nocked down bi the car, an’ az Stingum went whizzin’ down the rode Stick stood an’ shook his fist at him fur a full minnit an’ the words he sed wood never git by the sensorship 50 I'll not set 'em down here. Yoors trooly, RIP. what HE has done to LEADERS OF THE SEVEN