New Britain Herald Newspaper, May 24, 1929, Page 8

{7 "Ustener with charm. Anything that RS, ! SUBSCRIFTION RATES 0N o Toor ) & Ql"fllwllfl"‘. - z s Batored ot the Pest Ofce ot New Britala: %% "Socund. Cie Al Macie only profitable sdvertising medium '::' ity Circulation bosks Snd preen roem siways epsa te advertisers. Memaber of the Assecisied Pross The Assecisted Fress ls ezclusively en- titied fo the wse for re-publicstion o all mews credited tu it or not otherwim credited in this paper end alwe local) uewe pubiished thevein. Momber Audit Borens of Circoletion The 4. B, C. 1o u satiens! organization which (urnishbes uewspupers und adv tisars with ® @trictly henest analysie ol circulatio clrculation statistics ave Laged upum this sudit. This Inwures pro- tection against fravd in mewspaper dls- trisution 8gures to Dol matiosal aad local sdvertieers. — The Hersid 1o on sale daily in_New Tor Hotaling's _Not 4, Times uare; Schultys Nowset and Central 43nd Strest. —————— Why travel all the way to the levees aleng the Missisaippl river -to see how flooded conditions look, when all that is neceasary is to take bers of the semler high ‘whosl class |the coyatry, or to those whe ‘are un- —are not (o be judged IIl by the un. |able to Taise themselves by their fortunste oecurrence. It happemy |bpetstraps infe higher resims of _NEW BRITAIN DATLY importation of books that are deem- ed to tranagress the federal obacen- ity law. that the ealy evil words in;the plsy ere “Boll” and “daman.”. which this paper published as a matter of news, and which we reptint: 30 that there be 20 mistake about what it was all about. ‘When the first word of evil was fiung to the breese the Rev, Charles 8 Gray settled into a grey funk; when the second reached his ears his mind was made up instantly. Aft- er demanding the play be stopped, and finding this did no good, he walked eut, creating a furore. Pos- #ibly others were anxious to walk out also, but not due to the use of these heinous words. We mean |that the performance otherwise might have merited it. The reverend clergyman remark- ed, it is reported, that the place was net one for a Christian or a gentle- man. All we have to say in reply to thia theughtful sally is that Rev. Mr. Gray evidently has not seen many professional plays of late. Christians tand gentlemen attend them. too, checking their morals at the door. Then they seem to enjoy what they hear and see. It is strange how Christianity { veers around. The coach of the Dan- bury dramatic club, also a clergy- man,—the Rev. Charles W. Legge— ativity. i Yet the common laborer s a citi- zen, or becomes onée when sufficient years pass to allow him this privi- 'lege. Many of them aré ~married men with dependents, The heads of these families are suppesed to rear their children to & status of respect. able citizenship; and though no cil- zen is more handicapped with*diffi- culties, most of them accomplish this end. It is notable, too, that there is scarcely an unskilled labors er in the city who raises his boys to fill the same shoes as the father; from them spring many men of at- taionvents, or at - least skilled me- chanics. In this city, as in most other in- dustrial cities, the lot of the unakill- led laborer has been particularly hard the past year or so. The mayor long ago became afarmed at the situation, and it is to his credit that he sympathized with the troubles of this class of the city's residents. During 1928 there was a building jdecline almoat everywher !wern the unskilled laborers. There | have been enough of them in the Icuy to furnish a problem for the de- ! partment of public welfare, which |nearly exhausted its appropriation a trip to the Berlin underpass dur- . 0" o lergyman that the {Of $91.382.80, mot to mention the ing or after a heavy rain? For your scrap beok, if you keep any: In 1928 2,668 persons were kiiled at railroad grade croasings. while only 16 raliroad passengers were killed. Most grade crossings are not near cemeteries or hospitals. The plan to give city laborers §8t- urday afternoon off is a good one. There is no sound reason at all why city men should work at this time when ‘the [employes In factories do not. Just because a man labors at hard work. for a livelihood is no veapen why he should not be treat- ed as & human beiug. Alrports in many of the cities hav- ing them arve boops for the owner af llrpinu who charge from $5 to . $10 & head for aerial trips over the | cities and the country side. We do net kney whether the airports, municipsl get a-rakeoff, but ther ia ‘w9 doubt that this should be the rule. Just Jike the cities get rakeof(s frem: the ssle of pep in the public | parks, through licenses. This idea of having the state con- struct a bridge across the Connectl- cut river st Rocky Hill, “connecting with a prepesed new highway from Newington through Rocky Hill and Wity 18 the Naw Led- 48 turnpike,” atrikes the average offending words were jand that it was his duty *“as a Chritian” to present them as written. | ‘The play in Danbury probably has attracted =0 much attention by now that its sponsors can afford to re- ‘Dtll it, with higher rates of admis- sion. | CRAZY DRIVING | In a Boston paper the other day we ran across an item which tended to show why there are s0 many un- necessary killings along the public highways. It appears that the driver of & (ne gitficulties that press upon #o- | Americanism: truck had killed another child—we say “another” because his record was three killings all told. In each case the courts had discharged him from responsibility. Maybe every juror owned an automobile and sympathized with him; or maybe it if | wa8 just one of those cases where & man could mangle and cause three persons to die and really be an in- necent party to the slaughter. The motor vehicle commissioner, however, was not so easily satisfied. Truth to tell, he grew real angry about it. There being nothing else he could do, he taQk the driver's li- cense from him, saying he was con- vinced that this Dln)cullr metorist was an unfit man to drive either a passenger car or a truck. It is natural to commend the com- in the play, welfaye and charity work performed | i by other agencies in the field. 1 | Men who are prepared to work and cannot find work, and their families, cannot be allowed to starve. Great Britain found this out oh an extensive scale years age, when the dole law went into effeet. We have no dole law, but civil main- | tenance of the unempleyed amounts to the same thing in the long run. | John L. Doyle, superintendent of charity, has been heard from in no uncertain terms in regard to this | ‘problom. ‘The superintendent agrecs | {that one way to obviate some of 1 iciety in this connection is to pre- | vide and execute programs of pub- | lic works. Some of the world's best writers on economics uphold the | same method, maintaining it us a municipal, state or national duty in times when unskilled laber is, other: wise not in great demand. 1t Is vast. ly more Icgical to carry enterprises when unekilled labor io casily obtainahle than to ... ,it finds employment elsewhere and when it is necessary to hid against establiehed industries, tuns the ar. sument, | What would modern society be like without the unskilled laborer, it may be asked. Some of us who !ere not accustomed to hard manus) | tasks might benefit by being forced tg exercise our muscles, thereby de. ; and “.)un seems that way because you usual, the first to feel the _brunt 'need a goat to ease your own con-|Of my own free choice I will crack 'rmce, It is discevered, Rowever, that the federal law operates ' pretty much like the Boston boek law—by taking » pasmge separate frem the ceatext | and deciding the beok accerdlag té the ssparsted passage. Under this interprotation of the law dewblieas & good many books that are allowed to be imported would be denled this privilege if the law were universally enforced. Facts end Fancies By ROBERT QUILLEN At any rate, two can pay install- ments as cheaply as one. If spinach does the child no other good, it teaches him to ac- cept the inevitable without whin- ing. The first shock to the graduate will be the discovery that all the jobs are handed out by ald fogies. At tinies, however, a fool driver e It must be mice to feel »0 im- portant that you needn’t act hate. ful in an effort to seem Important. Perhaps it takes three genera- tions to make a gentleman. But the present generation of gold-diggers can “mal the average man easi- . One reason why some of our best people take no vacation is because merchants in a resort town won't |cha LAY t. It isn’'t freedom to wonship that men fight for, but freedom to ar- gue the superiority of their re: ligion. A diplomat is & man who covets something and can think up a great principle to justify stealing it, Kicking because state rights are disappearing; howling for federal ald when rob. ins eat part of the cherries. The new sugar tariff will cost consumers, say $100,000,000 a year, of Which the “protected” will get $287.15. Why do kids drink? Well, neo- "ody notices legs now, but a glimpse ' one was thrilling when they vere. hidden. - It seems an economy te have the children home from school, until you get the gasoline bill the first of the month. ldog in a - growers A hwsband is & person who feels Welpful it ‘he emptica the ‘ash tray just before it runa over. Facism isn’t true capitalism. Tt was establiched by means of castor oil; hot banana oil. A most refreshing wave would be A wave of mirth and you'll agree A “permanent wave" ' through the nation Would surely mean a “transforma- tion™! Much Better! Browne: -“Dennis is through his hat!" Reed: “Well, that’s better than playing a trombone through it!" talking Song of the Day! (By Charles Ciner) Give me the crash of a circuit smash The poke of a well-laid bunt, Or the deafeping din when a guy slides in, Shoving his spikes in front. Lead me to where I can paw the alr And heckle the man at bat; my voice | 3 And ruin my new E£pring hat. Day after day T will steal away To follow the frenzied mob; I will park dull care in my office chair . . . And probably lose my job! More Fun? “I'll think Tll put the -show." 5 Aw Dad, put him in the He'll_ have a lot more Father: Junier: cat-show. fun!™ —George Goldsmith. | ! “I wonder whether he'll give me a ring?” After five cocktalls a 1 what he knows. A ‘woman, what she wiches! man tells When in Rome Do as the Romans Do? ‘lizards, mice, rats and snakes. {north of the missioner for his definite action. H ,riving health and saving medical That's ene way to save lives, Mary Louise, small daughter of & What does the angry player say University professor, was being care- | I tell my wife about these other women. Ehe aderes me. t ¥ do not claim te understand women! Diffevent 3] Newlywed: “What does your wite use to mop the fleer with?" Oldmarried: * “Depends ~on the time of the day.” Newlywed: “What do you mean?” Oldmarried: “In the daytime, & mop; at night, me!" —Marshall Ballau. (Copyright 1929, Reproduction Forbidden) Questions o QUESTIONS ANSWERED You can get an answer to any question of fact or. information by writing to the Question Kditor, New Britain Herald, Washington Bureau, 1 New York avenue, Washington, D.:C., enclosing two cants in stampa for reply. Medical, legal and martial advice cannot be given, nor can ex- tended research be undertaken. All other questions will receive a per- sonal, reply. Unsigned requests can- not be answered. All letters are confidential. —Editor. Q. What was the first instance in which mail from the United States to a foreign country was carried by seaplane? A. U. 8. mail was first carried by seaplane on October 15, 1820 from Seattle, Washington to Victoria, i British Columbia to catch an out- going steamer. Q. What animal killed the corba in the motion picture “The Letter”? A. A mongoose. In India these animals are often kept about the houses to reduce the number l;: poisonous kills and ccts the most isnakes. such as the cobra, the bite of which is either avolded by the animat’s agility or else is not fatal. Q. Where is the Nyasaland Pro- tectorate? . A. It was fc “nerly called “British Central Africa’ 'ond includes that part of British Territory in Africa abesi river, which is bounded on the . east by Lake Nyasa and the Shire river. on the south by the Zambesi districts. north by the Congo and west by Portu- guese territory. Chief settlements !are Blantyre and Limbe in the 8hire .| Highlands: others are Zomba (the csat of government), Iort Herald and Mlanje. 0. Who is 8peaker of the House of Representatives of the U. 8.2 A. Nicholas Longworth, Oh'e, Q. How long do eatw live? A. | The averege life of & cat is be‘ween 12 and 15 vears, . How long itfter planting docs it take for a lilac bush to hloom? A. Usnally thev start blocming between 2 and 10 vears. Some nlants are extremelv shv bloomers. of Ea the A park to mee it it was in preper con. dition for the Memerial Day esef- ! i T are or preservative of health. Do runners breathe through th or the nose? ) ever, it is correct to' breathe only through the nose. A Q. How are billiard balls llld:‘, A. They are made of ivery a are cut, shaped and polished by machinery. Q. How long is the shadow of an object compared with its height?, A. The length of the shadow de- pends upon the time of year, the time of day, and the location of the object in relation to the sun. No answer can be given,"therefore, as to the length of a shadow. Q. What does it cost to operate a United States battleship for one day? A. Approximately $5,665. Q. Were President Wilson's “Fourteen Pointa” incorporated in the Treaty of Versailled? A. N Only the principles of some of -the points,-were adopted. Q. Was the Queen of Sheba a negress? A. She was of the Babean race of Southern Ariba, who are Semitics. Bhe is represented in art as having a.dark, or awarthy complexion, but was not a negress, Q. When were elongated bullets first used? A. About 1838. Previous to that time bullets were in spherical form, Q. How many islands are there in the Japanese group? A. Japan is composed of nearly 4.000 islands, but of these only about 500 are inhabited, or have a coast line of over one to about 2.44 miles. The remaining islands are mere rocks sometimes covered with vegetation, 25 Years Ago Today At the annual meeting of the wo- men's hospital board held today it was announced that $858.05 had been realized from the benefit per- formance held at the Lyceum thea- ter last week. Coals from an engine that passed through this city at 11 o'clock this morning =et fire to the rallroad ties from Main street street, causing considerahle smoke. The New Britain professionals will battle witah the Waterbury nine at Rentachlor's park Saturday, Foreat- ville will be the attraction on Decor. ation Day. William J, Mulligan and Patrick F. McDonough of this city, students at Yale law achool, will take the ex- amination for entrance to the bar next menth. Due to the changes in the sched- ule of the Consolidated railroad, Postmaster Hfcks will be forced to make & number of changes in the to Washington | cists. He found the lamp ‘globes to be in good state. 0h¢rnfiuc: , On The Weathir Washingten, May 24.—Ferecast tor Southern New Engiand: ' Shew. ors and -slightly cooler -tomight; Saturday fair. Conditions: ance 1s centered this morning nerthe west of Montreal. It is producing showers in portions of the upper Ohio vulley, lake region, upper New York atate districts and Northera New England.’ Connecticut is the southern edge of the shewery area. Prefisure is high over the south Atlantic states and the Atlantic ocean northeast- ward to the Grand Banks. Ansther high pressure area-prevails over the northern - Misslesippi and Manitoba. A long treugh disturbance extends over the Recky mountain_ districts from Aris to the Canadian nonh’m with eenter near Edmonton. ‘Frost tempera« tures were reported from nérthern Minnesota, but elsewhere tempera. tures are about normal. Conditions favor for this vicinity probably showers followed- by faip ¢ :nd not much cha: in tempera. ure, Temperatures yesterday: Cincinnati Denver .. Duluth . Hattéras .. Los Angeles Miami ... Minneapolis Nantucket . Nashville New Haven New Orleans Norfolk, V. Northfield, Vt. . Pittsburgh .. Portland, Me. . Bt, Louis Washingtan -, READ HERALD CLASRIFIED ADS FOR YOUR WANTS. el e ] Spring §§hauofion After the © weather of winter, the weather of X all your pep. In rtead of hopping out of bed keen for ¢ day's Work and evening's pleasures, hes yoU aré just moping_ areund, eshausted, feeling ' like a scooped-out, hollow shell, Any docter can tell y whers your 1t/ comes’ from—net from the weather bat from the hiesd. It'a thick, muddy, clogged with polsons that empty Into your tem and rob you of your strength and pep. Correct this condition right away with McCoy's Tablet An amasing ingredient in thess wafé, pleasant tablets- acte like magic in puris fying and enriching thie hisod, vitalises the Beiven, ymbroves Avpetita AAd digse: tion,' ‘clears."the coaplexion, hwilds su- porb strength, tones up the whole sy tem. et McCoy's at the Fair Departe mept Btore o any drugstore. 60 teblety 60 cents, / The Ontario disturbe —_—m——m———————————,,————— e e o #,% gives the impression that travel is 18 Be accelerated or improved hes this tendency. & dees no harm to {bills; but nevertheless, we wouldn't g the umpire? He says: “You're fully taught that there arc certain right, old man; but let me makqiWords which must not be included P But there was another accident in 10"‘ for the 'experience. +The common Ilac has been known FAMOUS ; {tn 0 a lon~ ms 12 yeres without | VS SR OF TREvRY kn her voeabulary! agitate about the subject, either, as ‘nothing svcceeds like agitation after the first ten years thereof. These war games, with airplanes refustiing ever cities and throwing imaginary bembes dewn upen it, give the Impression that somebody’s idea of war fe te fight the non-combat. ant olvil pepulation in the centers 7ot resdenos. is started during the Werld War, but we had thought there was & change of opinien after that was over. Maybe, too, it is the intention of these airplane warriors to throw ignited X-ray films down on the population, of disease germs. or anything else that is unpleau‘nt.' 1t this is called progress in warfare, | tali¢ us back te the days of thei lance, the sling-shot and the Roman | galleons, GILLETTE'S CORNER i . We have about comc to the con- clusion that something radical nceds | to be done at Gillette’s Corner to protect uutomobile drivers from the perils of getting hurt at this point. Why not signs distributed along the saucer-like highway. these signs | being large replicas of the skull and cross hones? And why not, after the signs are | crected, have an arrangement to | make them visible and under- | standable at night through the coplous use of flood lights? Perhaps, 100, there could be a wire or two placed across the highway, and from them might dangle skele- 1ons. These too, order to be | visible and comprehended at night. should be illuminated with flood | lights. Supplementary signs, also illumin- ated with flood lights, could be scat- in irecklessness and carelessness.” Revere this week. one that recelved | 404 morals and principles of congiderable public attention; and ;410 fgrce thoughtful minds not ono Wgpt Hlustrates another point.g regard the plight of unskilled la- weorth considering if we are ever to |borers with equanimity. Human be- progress to the point whers the yugy geerve humane treciment. { roads are to be made safe for sanity. | Five youths lost thejr lives in Re- vere when “the car in which they | Hoying disoussed i . te were riding' crashed, spun and oy tne Lenroot 'onfifmution pro hurdled the result of appalling | 40y con, and having had the vete |printed in the Congressional Record, The youth who drove the car had 'thq U, 8, Senate has taken one addi- three times applied for a license ‘°|1Iunnl step In the era of hilarity by operate, snd upon each occasion ““iurnng newsmen from the floor of wish was denied because the In-|ine genate. This is supposed to make spectors found him incompetent. it harder for the boys ' whoe scover The boy, however, realizing that ¢piy august body from obtaining In- the motor vehicle department could | side. information about what "‘m. on not keep tab on every car on the under the surface. No more coh- highways, took to driving neverthe- | gign punishment could be inflicted: less. He had no trouble in obtaining ALARM IN THE SENATE " e e aDe YA Each year the family spent the summer days at their farm home and played at being farmers. “Mother,” cried Mary Loulse in} joy one day, “I can say ain't now, can't 1, ‘cause I'm a farmer.” —B. Grimes. The best form of farm relief ®so far devised it a gocd deep mud hole in the highway, a mule team and a tow line. Alag! By this time a pcople get proud enough to firht for and win freedom, It is proud enough to de- sire subjects. Correct this sentence: linen ruit,” sald the clerk, tain séme evidence of after you have worn t several hours.” Judicial Heroes of the Past Six Months Recorded by Lucius Pfeiffer The New York judge who granted a certificate of incorporation to a society organized for the purpose of conducting “scientific experiments, emotional or intellectunl. in order to | discover the perfect 100 per cent | nd also “to acknow- ledge the right of any single in- dividual to carry out his own hys- teria in his own wey.” The Chicago judge who granted a divorce to the woman who com- plained becanse her hvsband made her cook mancakes that he could urs for no'er chinw, Copyright 1929 Publishers Syndicate 1 Ha bloamine. 8eclence eon give no rer=on for this condition. ©. Which animal can jump the highest ? A. The champion fumner is be- lieved to be the Weack jeguar of South America. Ths an‘mal has been known to leap from the ground and gain a branch fifteen fect overhead. . . Q. What is the temperature of an “absolute vacuum”? A. Absolute vacuum has never been attained and its temperature, therefore, has never been ascertain- ed. In dynamic meteorology. the beginning of absolute temperature, at a supposed “absolute vacuum” is 1 below zero Centigrade, or 459.4 degrees below zero Fahren- heit. Q. What is the tween a sanatorium tarium? difterence be- and a sani- | | From Julius Caesar down to Alvaro Obregon, many famous figures of history have met’ death viciently at the hands of famatics and political ene- mics. Our Washington Burcau has gathered the interesting facts in ten of the principal crimes of this nature and included them In an Interesting bul letin called Some Famous Assaseinations. You will find it worth while read- ing. Flll oyt the coupun below and send for it: — "= o= o= a= *CLIF COUPON HERE = == == == History Editor, Washington Bureau, New Britain Merald, 1322 New York Ave, Washington, D, C, - -] | T want @ copy of the bulletin Some Famous Asssmsiuations. and en- ‘ close hiqrewith five cents in coin, or toome, uncancelled U. 8. postage stamps (o cover postage and handling costs: | NAME | streeT AND NUMBER | ary 1 am a reader of the New Britain Herald, B e e o i A s i R S e newsmen, as Vice-President Curtis a car for his experiments. He simply | agmitted, are not pledged fo obey | the rules of the Senate—net being members—and thus not being amen- borrowed one from his parents, with their consent. Indced, the registrar i five killed were in the car operated 'nocents in s of motor vehicles severely condemn- ed the parents of the young man for loaning him the car; but this was after it was too late, and five lives had been lost. able to senatorial discipline for do- ing their duty when they get the chanee; they wili have-to-sto their stuff from-the regular press gallery or not at all. It ‘was Senator La Follette, It ap- pears, who brought about the move to treat dll the newsmen alike, any other method, he said, being favor- {itism. The Senate responded with with | warmth and feeling. and on the committeg to gee that the new rule is abeyed is Scnator Bingham. This will not make much differ- | ence to the newsmen. It still be pos- | sible to talk to senators here and ,yon, and in the cloak rooms, and { over the telephone, or to visit them e in their offices in the great menate NSKILLED WORKER | office building. The insurgents no The unskilled worker today, as in "doubt will see to it that the news- | previous days, is in a particular- | men get all the inside dope about ¥ disadvantagcous economic posi- the G. O. P., and the G. O. P. will tion. He Goes a most necessary part | see to it that they get all the in- In such cases, of course, the par- ents are morally responsible. A per- son who has no licenre to drive is an outlaw on the highways. Many parents are allowing their offspring entirely too much automobiles. There is one thing about the Re- | vere tragedy that was fortunate: The | freedos " by the crazy ung driver, not in- other car happen- ing to meet them on a curve. téred along the highway, these giv- ing minute directions to the nearest hespital and the names of reputable undertakers; also the names of doc- tors, medical examiners, coroners and such other officials who might he needed to function at times. in the world's work. and without his |side dope about the Democrats; (aid the skilled workers would he and the Democrats will sce to It that | useless in many industries. The un- |they get all the inside dope about i#killed worker does the rough work | both the G. O. P. and the Insurg- on our streets. in our buildings, in gents. Unless the Washington core he is a cog in the respondents are dcaf, dumb and blind, they will obtain just as much news as formerly—and probably our factories; machinery. But he is the first to feel the CUSSING ON THE STAG] This is an old. ancient and honor- able topic. Only the faci that down in Danbury the Y. M. (. A. sponsor- «d one of these cussing plays. and that a disapproving minister walked out on the performance, lends the cxcuse to make a few additional re- marks. Touthtul thespians, A8 they were called, in the Bat city—being mem- | pinch of a slowmg up in industry when It comes; he is the first to feel the more. UNC SAM AS A CENSOR At this late day a shipment of Vol- taire’s famous work, “Cé [ denied permission to enter the Unit- ed States at the port of Boston. this action not having been taken by the | fects of slackened em- ployment. And when industry sours ahead on onc of its periodical booms. "he is the Iast to gain better recogni- tion for this important labors in be- (haif of socicty. Small wonder that BUTTER STAFF-WORK A minister in Andrew Carnegie's old home town of Dunfermiine felt called upon to remonstrate with ene of his flock who occasionally got drunk and had to be taken home on a wheel-barrow. The “drouth” re- sented the interference of his spirit- ual adviser'and was inclined to ar- sue the point with him. “Now look ye here, meenister, I've heard ye admit that ye tak’ eI’ afier yer dinner. Is asked the man. % “Yes, that is s0,” said the minister. “An’ ye'll hae a drop o' toddy afore ye gang to yer bed. Am I richt, sir?” “I confess that 1 do like a tum- bertul’ of toddy at night. James; it helps me to sleep. But what has all this got to do with your drunken habita?” “Just this sir. Ye admit yersel’ to twe drams a day. That'’s fourteen guld nips a week or sixty every meonth. | only ket _drunk once a month when T get my pay. Now if I drunk a8 much as you Fd be blind for a week. The difference between you and me ia.that ye shift far mair whisty than T do only ye time yer drams better.” A the realm of commen Iabor has book censors of Boston. hut by the been handed over nearly completely representatives of the 1. 8. govern- to comparatively recent arrivals m,mem. which has a law barring ti- 1 Carclossness caused the waste of A tract of timberland. almost s Iarge a8 the whole of New York state, by forest fires in 1924. The New Yeork jndzs wha reduced the tmount of alimany hnntlegger had to pey duetng “the shmmer months because hiz incore ruffered from the scasonal deprcssions of the business. - The New York judge who reduced the fine of tw~lve lignor-law viola- tor to one dollar so they could he ret free to vote in the recent presi- dential clection. The Chicago judge who granted & divarce decree to the woman who told him that she had dropped a dime in a beggar's cup. only to dis- cover that the beggar was her hus- band. The New York judge who ac- enitted a prominent Rroadway come- dian of the charge of cruelty to ani- mals because he believed that the canary in question suffered more from the flashlights of photograph- ers then from fiving in and out of the comedian’s board. The federa! judge who sald: prohibition agents were dressed up 1to 100k 1i%~ honest workingmen. and uged no ather decoi pretenses, xcent falsely simulating a craving for liquor to drink.” The Arizona judges who decided “The that American Indians were not en- titlrd to vote! The Brooklyn judge who decided let oft. on the ground | bandits can’t be that even found guilty of robhing beotlegzers. By Proxy?! First Movie Star: Jated tA Wer?® Kocond ftar: “Distantly. doubles married eoo' ather ~-Mildred Kurz. “Are you re- | Our, Exnla'n Them? T do not claim to understand wom- en.. . . 1 kiss Jane. She adores me. T swear at Elste. T write poetry about Julia. ,adares me. T renA flowers te Ruth. aAnppe’ mn, 1 let Elizabeth pay for my lunch- She adores me. fhe She The Week’s Outstanding Event in T oonerville. By Fontaine Fox. | l e |ll|lt the man accured of holding up A bontlengers’ crap game should be THE DWARE WAS RUNNING FoR THE TRAIN AND V'3 CHMASED FIVE BLOCKS BY THE TRUANT OFFICER.’