New Britain Herald Newspaper, April 14, 1928, Page 6

NEW BRITAIN DAILY HERALD, SATURDAY, APRIL 14, 1928 W Facts and Fancies| “The sun does not shine on a better place to live in.” Thus the up-and- town enters the list of thousand or so communities which things go Wwith a slogan, 1t rom Holyoke southward Connecticut, and the is just able to tl flow of water wer would wpty into river at New Britain Herald HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY | D'® the coming a wage | great and the jot it content c viver could not fwsued Dally (Sunday Ezeepted) At Hersld Bldg, 67 Chburch Street SUBSCRIPTION RATES .00 & Your. 4300 Three Months 75c. a Month. Eotered at the Post Office at New Brit- ain ae Second Class Mail Matter. mak n nt outlook | and private airplane are well ap- preciated parts of the town. M °ts with the approval of Governor | 2 | whull himself, whose residence This puts a little diffe and all disposal along the { upon the clined situation, one is iu- ven to ask in serio Coolidge, who must tly visited | have been struci | with the beauty of the slog rece cwage the town, | Connecticut river is ot mor n. So far fance than drinking | | | water, TELEPHONS CALLS At Business Ofce la Editorial Room The enly proftable advertising medium E City. Circulation books and prese waye open to advertisers. ourselves itula we are concerned, we the town > slogan as evidence that the | ctting seli-conscious and is | to it mounts to | smething in the world. This is good rather difficult to ima Supreme Court Connecticut river that the 1 dis- srecing exists nd hould not in the slightest be red with so that it can fulfill this | | evidence ratlier think t i for the posal of scwage, that its flow realize inter- Momhcr of the Asociated Pres | s 1ue Amwociated Press 1o exclusively en | unction. We 'l‘w — ;” ) B e | i hemselves o o~ ST :‘::m“-:z:“:n T omwice | court will come to the conclusion that | 7 Iy m not bring the | Credited tm this paper 8ud also local | 1pe cities making world to a towr doors, but the ! uews publisbed thereln. 1 g use of a noble f progress. i of progre such an ignoble i 56 stream should dispose |1OV1 Without a slogan nowadays in- | Member Audit Buresu of Circulation # B. C. is a national organization which furnishes newspapers and sdver- tissrs with @ strictly honest enalysie of circulation. Our circulation et tistics are ased upon this audit. This insures pro- tection against fraud in newspaper dls- tribution figures to both national local advertisers. of their sewage in another and more | {which lack ambition and don't care | whether growth stagnation Js | [variably is numbered with those | modern ma Ir maintained ner. the Connecticut river must be or | around the corner. Plainville has a as u sewage disposal |ATOUNd the comner. Plainville has an igle eye on growth, increase, pros- the love sty looks dark. Th river eam the future { [perity; it appeals to ror | average flow of watcr in the The Herald 1s on sale atly in New Yotk at Hotaling's Newsstaud. _Timee Squsre; Schults's Mewsstands, Eatravce Grand Ceptrsl, 43nd Street. ———————— will remain stationary, as it has for Jomes, hearthstones and family, and | world to there plenty of room left in the valley for | ittributes | : wants the kno s | hundreds of years, while the i o : S the population, will grow greater. 1¢ the 15 Mr. Holden @ supply of sew cities increase in the multiplication of thes iddanle can | Of superior Jiving. do little bette fuse to th soon here when the river as it is will Who will Senator Heflin votc for i¢ A1 Smith is nominated? e This is & big country. Its pcople Yight 125,000,000,000 matches a year. And it only takes one to start a con- flagration it handled carelessly. han i flush the | One cannot inves Sound, then the time is Without being struck with I advancement A itt) a question wl of irent. al air ap was everywhere | be the towns and while ago there Holyoke overtaxed, and cities along the viver from r certain grade es should not be climinated— iile ambition. to the Public md a decision south will have 1o chunge crossi {eertainly a worth has Utilities Commissior methods anyway. L I Senator E. F. Hall might be in- formed that the state would got more mency from motor vehicle fines if the fincs were heavier. y E . This matter g THE BUILDING RECORD AND CITY GROWTH Two important business blocks ar oner or later—no mal- Something will be done Plainville e under construction in the downtown abont it, enc can rest assured —_— -and-doing spirit addle, T greement about details will I section, and one home for a frater- in is Most civilized nations do not PEI™ |y 04y, I addition fo these there mit_gambling—except in the stock residences being constructed in market and over the North Atlantic. | 1 (o ione or the city, Which is by in tt may somi are but ulti- rtely I something 11 en for We have not heard of much of a i vide ol o Meriden airport, but B8} s P { liousing of the nevertheless the aviation commission | of that city is thinking of enlurging it, way of saying that the urge to pro- fit of tow i ditional facilities for the trade Now of disc 1 plan to move another so ussion 12 e city’s wrowing untimely has arrived, nceds has not reached an diers’ monument 1o the town World War en by all who pau 11 would end after the building boom of sev- where a cannon from the cral years ago. Building may not be is to be se for u tis said the American fopd short- age will begin to make itselt felt around 1950; which means ther will be no need for an equalization fee to govern the marketing of farm Surplus. | booming, but no one can claim it is d During the ing exactly dead licreabouts. it I for sible hoom of which 1926, other the by which is called N somy use spicd overlapped into 14 large opera- i accupied the monument, tions helped greatly to swell the During the latter part of last year e operations he- Monument Sqt records of building department. Naturaily, if the a; monument is o ! the name of wo this squar 1 As long as there are tracks through the city so long will there be trespasscrs. Every fe w | months a roundup is carried out by the police of the New Haven rail- road. The local police seem to he wore sensible, railroad change began 1o be manifest, per- peed to ne changed; but leave it to the Plainvillers 1 Tdeus swiftly in the towh that there will be tewer lar while the mits for 1o find an appro coming scarce, number of name, are moving s0 permits for smaller operations gen- crally inercased, The partment clo porting that The etfort ot the U. 8. Chamber | during that tin of Commerce to double the amount Arthur N. of tax reduction coincides | what with the Pemocratic view. The [that the reven plan is to make posterity pay a | had 3540 larger share of what debts we no dearth of suggestions when the | fiseal year in the building de- time for action arriv 1 March 31, and in re- One cannot feel pleased s otherwise than building operations totalled § the information the public recrudeseence s high-strn spirit in Rutherfor the building Plainville. Something importunt S (dNaD ROl KB Y DU always heing discussed, which is of during the that department oot fiscal the been al thus proving in ROAD CONSTRUCTION MOMENTUM cticu K [ Luilding department is & selr-sus- ready have, ! taining unit in the whether posterity has any vights 0 one pauses city government , not the only state in Whereas it once was a department £ _ Union looking forward to in- | that earned mueh justified complaint ased road construction this ye Indeed, the wealths ACCOMPL The cast to west non-stop airplan crossing of the Atlantic ocean finally | it now has become so eficient that it 0 many of commuion- las passed almost entirely from pub- lic Wi no hesitancy saying this has been due e icipating a period of view, have in accelerated road 102 Departmment least highly work that has been accomplished. In spite the consistent and rvelent winds that brought death to seven cariley ‘aviators, tho “got ' across,” and its gallant crew, to the | universal satisfaction of a world on tiptoe, lives to tell the story of the to the good BOOY e total for l “will to the Agriculture, accordin management of the present building 3 s of inspector, who knows his job and at- it htly cqual and the i srobubly Bromen tends to it = el The for the pr exeeed highest mark | total of huilding operations recorded in any preceding vious fiscal year was more Now the record has down to hielow $4,000,000 whether Al Some states, of course, particularly the 1o ext than $7.000,000 in the ailing states able setter farm tind it xperience and probably vield much of valued information the future gigientt suidanee of aviation. Although the ohjective of the trip was not reache their ship zocs 10 ¢ cone It is est, pend 1 this tinie, . will inady for to judge this can a bit nd large sums for roads at regarded as normal or still Virtually all of the mor A hove th normal figure as a larger 0 populous castern states, however, to the aviators and the credit of heing the the tinent—and that city natureally brings with it a larger b Bive instituted attractive programs, first 0% fotal huitding construction. In other : : : wly jose states where ocean from Europe to this con- \apds, what would have heen con- A ten normal teved £ = oline tax receipts make i itself is @ vast Gdeped mormal construction : That Motorists who iccomplishmient g0 polil Ibe. helow el e sa D LCES The world's imagination naturally nry is the case in Connecticut, is fired at the previous di ed in world 01 effion we constantly de- ceessful effort. Ko 1l this year would have looked to know built wiil feel manding more g0« many had hoom 2o, ; o4 roads an 1he not itisfac- simi 1t with h should d od ustified in v e, thiree dauntless giste the the Bremen was mu in New tion in figures give at Iighway s undertaking of e out by th At ea nad government; they denote t that he But bright ent novigal inc that no pre buildin wrted their g partments res thre inspect nown Jrer v spring drive with more hand Ritne And additional comfort depart- rave men willing zambis fate has de the he advance s ag it - 4 per cent funds on n th with Wl now sami last year a roer ¥ e rom th v might gain that world is oicin 1 and s fitled witl fact un avail- oy that the Wbic to all state highway ments for truction and by s will ex- i that local by county and tarers are saved to humanity nd main- Koel e of rouds Herman c To Captain building ndabl L will s pilot, goos a world of cvedit for e able management of his ship; and to da Hu ting to do that Frihe uthoriti nefeld James Fitzmaurice m ' mbing had intil 1921 that the inspector, upw Ehrenfricd Gunt! a gencrous share of r von other civic 1he v, This trio made aviation history 1 build d ot com THE WEAK POINT I\ DIVERSION CASL In discussing the o \ecticut 1o the water diversion pro t of Massachusetts, M. Holden of Hartford tingly pla upon i weakness of the Th Hartford attorney was speaking in Plainville and in the - tor it five members, S o fn of hard od paves 2,600 milc ) S exponsive ctor, and an electrical s Sl ction of Con- rouds, und 0 miiles of Iways ranging 1 nding upon their n from Benediet quately wraded a drained” ro: perhups v 10 those depe nis finger won a zood imagination, state's « March MUD MONLY N, i, April. 1 s One farmer le oy s0 inilar experien Roches mud-hol home town of | 1o 1 i that has just end- m tos the governor made a most favorable impression against sachusetts to divert the waters of the Swift and Ware rivers in order to i se the water supply of politan Boston. It was when he came to the question of i would do te the Connecticut r that he was quoted as follow in {he history In at i 1o have 00 in permitting Mas- t this oceurred : this cininently mot fictory eonditien will contir when b cre: metro- or inspection tend 1o th ASURES FOUND 14 (U'P) Areh- Kr cum colle 3] of A in the villare of oull take a building y what harm the normal to bring THE PLAINVILLE <7 COMME MTY P i« spruci MGANG “Drinking water vreference r navigation Conneeticut’s opposition to the plu ¥o « not to the handicap which or flow of water would pl viver traffic. One danger which this ate fears is that of sewame. The all cities along the river [} must e never upon let hin ior the sle Here it Grafting improves some trees, but it doesn’'t seem to work in the case of political timber, Sull, if creation yet in proc and evolution is a part of it, man may attain to the image of his creator, is th man to that brute Philosophy prompts a quality scorn on its ex- |strength if he pants when ke climbs | stairs, would out undesir two agencies which you Congress and the It you ables, the nust appeal are tork, keep Wo'll wallk the golden strects, | Think of being able to walk in the street. That will be Heaven. ~: ge men are con- tell him you dropped too. d, cigith g idiot the ghhorhoed: Any place by two families that selves and one another, Never explain. If it isn't neer it's foolish; and if it is nece doesn't help matters. A il et 1 py than the high town count ssary, st Vv isn't more ay outside of It just seems that way on ac of the chickens Denouncing crooks; Uy with ¢ crooked vicanist up 1 oh izion is liki @it 1n0; need made ind . Tations cducation, Thosc by their ve wble of realizing it. the more you wear ow'il be 1 1 £t ity that 1 the Uics t his lo- The \eostol cldom for posterity ronhl sout people same worshipy who do it 1 provid ivil iher the fine old cus- the blessin thout the time can opens vl o wane heeame unive whout what ion t cont v 1o o | io better f eviey Iy John W. V The thii ' whe biography. not Correct this senfenee: “Iis s 1 him to sjudy w night in order 1o feed the leading his class, and h reat man fore: 25 Yéars Ago A number vill attend the dinner Hartford Council Prince dem this afternon. on and John I the 15th grade Knight n by s of . will rec of the - John- nehe iv Thompson, hilip Zwick e amons P ritain iler congimon & Ter- 1dd tur- Boxin conrt m of rnoon Perkins permission 1o to (i complaint and AMr. 1 hed S atney, consulte lust minute I continue Thon i 1 gertord st asked that « Clerk pson las wit o {he nier down to fend himsclf the Maple Al i I i 1l Wo itow s crs of ) went il cluh wh rou morning tha h o lighiy vy sed 101 th pl rains i had not in the slightest n influx of s 1o by of past [ b and ex- a strong enibers nted by cam this season. The formal open will be on Decoration Day. Clerk Cooper of the judiciary con- iy denicd that the Berlin u court hill been suppre ed. It is mercly being r rawn, he Shechy of T a lecture t the erick, A Tour Lusswin There will artistically The le of t Ve - Sunday eve display of ticon views the nd 00 colored sterd tur En WL r LEpices 10t club, . Parker nt v and ¥, vesterday s launched 1. Johnston when the at New factory ivagne haschall games yed at Eletric tschler's park. ig 00l have wrlain and Teich and r of their in b 1d not at niors clected Cha Re 1 nager of givir basie patents tndustry has ainville that being built in the be marketed, Eleetric in 1 market, RIZAD RERALD CLASSIFIED ADS FOR YOUR WANTS L ers son to draw the | the | | | ry high | | Shop Editor, care of the New 1] Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York. Now And poets trill their triolets, We florist sl Fun Shoy His Ow how ) Tolk T it ongue!” their viol we're wise, I cheer-olots will specialize! Some Cookin Dickinson with tram Newlywed Dickinson: of them? Newlywed: ple "H A Cong “Owing the ed, very (Two ance —Winnepe FUN When o 10 acher in th pr i v su nearly 40 pleasant of M M i Yor iv v the Are you 1 hothered ur house 2" Not any more. “How My wi fe did you get rid fed a cou- —Claire Ma he the ood v rvice ceesstul couples time lilis.” as da spendi under SHOP NEWS WEEKLY Us Away— ation Without a Preacher stormy dvertised to take th Y weath mplar Hall torm-stay- in conse- follow- a id- nee the (Canada) ¥ree Press Social complained days . Ohia ome (N son th cou s0 po Hiils to the zain: t nurs: 5 ih a few tting together and for Gld Cat Y to a after they rew a plate iple settle quickly! weal- ) et a chaned Purr Times Houston | will- t nney fered. want the censt] old sayin, May flower “No. April ‘showers' mean M i those Fiy 1w two weeks ago when 1 got | Wa « ioldsniith S BAGOAGE op 1 Three Yonuld Aet One vy coliar, suy, Murrs “I'd lik nd's picture e di 1stic Act Tue yhe rainly, but why “They remind me Dr; Aot 1 i ni a ph surs ) oy u I could if i) Hiller she hushand and the o have you with an otograplhier, e 1and Mr. right posc really, ¥ your co-op- | look a lit- oing to the vouwd there."” of what 5 aninutes late from the of- 1 for his 1er shows Mr. Robey a portrait | January after being informed by jol four hims t tall Murray ror 1 tho Act The e picturcs feet 1 1 my you to you The teacher asked tasice between two poi Donald: * 1 the ish ition if they | b ot He sure 1 ‘In the Spring a younsg | berts (married): “You ng a young JUST You've i Mr, wi 00¢ “Oh, pardon me 1 th the w Robey has 1 photo- and six 1 man, it 100 e it lifes e Wit o tani drive hortest dis- BETWEEN mean, man's fool- Blanchett HEN! Diolozue Between M tand Red vt of orn use 1 ecan in von ever and Rock) Mrs. Pock, on su her forcign eg magine, my dear, Plymouth can you me? Why s, 1s it rac- but ce such eggotism!” It is positively | He —THE OBSERVER— | Makes Random Observations On the City ana Its People The votes have been counted and the last flicker of red fire has long since died down but the cvents of th t campaign will furnish con. ve tional material for many a d: Political campaigns are alway vlete with odd situations and humor- cus incidents. In this respect the bicnnial election of this ycar was 10 exception. The first man to announce his candidacy for mayor was found to i€ a voter in another city and at the tme of his announcement was not cven privileged to vote here to say nothing of presiding over the high- | cst office of the governmeni. He is Henry A, Smith who came right up to the starting tape and then as un- ceremoniously as he entered the mayoral race, withdrew, Smith was made a voter here on the day peti- tions of candidacy were to be filed. He was an avowed candidate up to the day he had that privilege under | the law, then when he could have | fultilled the requirements of his party he chose to withdraw. Smith's campaign for the mayor's chair was one of the two which fail | d to materialize. J. B. Allec “walk- | «d” for the office but prims quircmients sent him on a tour from which he found it im- possible to return in time to be clected. Allee, self-styled president of the Third Ward Republican club, also cretary, treasurer and ¢ ccutive committee, who has also as- sumed the title of “Unofficial Advis- | 1" 1o the city officials of New Brit- ain, w fusion party candidate. offered” himself to the clectors on both the republican and demo- cratic On primary day he attempted to vote for himself, but s ballot was reje No demo- crats gave him a vote, and there his { campaign ended The of election had it been conducted in the best Chicago tradition: “The explosion of a bomb in City hall opencd the polls at € o'clock, were called to the Camp school where a machine gun squad was spattering the cars which drove up with Paonessa banners. At 5 o'clock the moderator in the first ward was slugged for retusing to allow a dead democrat to vote. Be- fore 7 o'clock the curtains had been torn from the voting machines in four wards and men armed with Browning rifles were standing by to make sure that all voters pulled the proper lever. “Shortly after 8 o'clock two can- the point of the pistol and a third was declared ineligible shortly after- ward when his body was found langing from the flagpole atop Wal- nut Hill park. Gangben suspected to be in the employ of the democratie town commiittee trained a howitzer on the Senior High school late in the morning and blew the polling place W The democrats suffered a setback | during the noon hour, however, when a number of armored cars were turned loose to wreck the fleet of automobiles carrying Paeonessa voters to the polls, “Two thousand Bartlett votes were secured in the second ward carly in the afternoon when three hooded men seized one of the vot- ing machines and pulled the top | lever until they collapsed from ex- | haustion. The police had juat return- j ed from this outbreak when the fire | department was summoned to the Stanley Quarter park wading pool to effect the rescue of nine republican workers who had been thrown inte the water and kept there until they were thoroughly chilled, and unable to return and vote. “The riot squad was attacked by an organized force of gangmen from | both parties about 4 o'clock and a pitched battle ensued in Central park. While this diversion was be- ing created the machines in sixth ward were stolen and a group of cut-throat mechanies changed the count on those in the fourth ward, The voting began to slacken noticcably toward 5 o'clock as the number of persons not already kid- naped lessened. “Neither party would accept the count of the fifth-string substitutes who finished the day as moderator nd two widely varying sets of fig- ures were set forth as corrcct. It | was suspected by new that some- thing might actually he wrong with the tot as recorded on the ma- chines and the figures were di garded. A check-up at 9 p. m. r vealed that the republicans 1 killed six opponents, kidnaped 95, slugged 307, and frightened off 542, besides breaking five voting ma- chines, bombing the Bartlett school, and destroying 43 democratic auto. mobiles. The democrats, had murdered four opponents tive policemen, spirited [ beaten 422, and intimidate 539, while they had stolen four voting ticke se I. Clay Cavanaugh, who insists he is the town clerk-elect still in the air, with Cavanaugh | planning to go hefore the corporation | | counsel next Tuesday to receive the catl of cftice, thi spite of the {fact that Alfred 1. Thompson has Leen officially declared clected, and | i detianee of a threat of ejection possible arrest. He will then | me physical control of tie office, Cavdnaugh voted for an- ciher democrat for tax collector and | [ ix of thc opinion that his sclection 1or that office is also entitled 1o take the oath and collect the emoluments | wext Tuesday. The en anthorized to say without fear of contradiction that there wili be no “tax collector with- out portfolio” meandering about th iepartment supervised by Bernadotte At Tuesday., What the out- anaugh program will | . 1s not diffienlt to forec: During the rush to get out as many new volers s possible, o represcenta- | tive of one of the parties called for | & man whose name was on the list 1o be made.” But a few minutes I to take the elector pective voter was on 4 and had on house slip- | . but e was told he would bhe driven o the door of city hall and whisked ome within a few minut A long overcoat took the place of the most conventional apparel, and | e house slippers were allowed to | machines, torn down the World wap sorve as footi On the way to memorial, dropped aerial “pineap- ity hall, the passenger dropped a | ples” on Republican headquarters, vemark giving away his political |and driven a tank through the re- prefevence. 1t was not that of the | publican candidate’s home. A com- Ariver and representative of the po- | parison of activities left no doubt litical party that had the car in use! and the d a When the newly admitted voter | clared e walked out of eity hall that evening | there was 1o car waiting for him, | Hiding in the trunk ef an auto- and pulling in his overcoat he walk- {mobile listening to a man teaching :d home | his wife how to drive: | Aithough fire department working | First you take the transmission | hours were so mged that cvery | shift rod, bring it over to the left nan could vote Tuesday, one of |and then back i e vounger members of the depart- |yvoy can . certainly you can {ment called for an automobile 10 {move it . T gull hasd oot} tiansport him to the polls, this in it ought to move .., . oh, I fo ot o, pite of the fact that it was but & tell you to push out the cluteh ... minutes’ walk. It was after- | thyt thing down there near your left ards learncd that this member of | roof s, Dok 2oi Do hig b [the department was the one who | " “Ghbpny’ U Sush the clu{ch sought two weeks' employment 1ast |2 iGy down, do you want to rip atl ithe teeth off the gears? .,,,,, now , you are in first gear .... now push the rod forward, across and forvard CHC6UPZaxX! .. ... 1y, whadda wanta do, wreck this a Lo suys. o1 ofiic Observer members of the force that th fire departnient was going to clo: down for the first 1wo wecks of Jan- | wary for inventory. i | One public official who has be o | candi Ate for his office bt once, waw | Machine? - when va change | approached during the campuign “y.spveds push out the clutch .... no, = s . |not that thing ,...., I told ya the . down-and-outer who prefaced his| 1 equest, for the price of “coftec and | Clutch was the pedal down near your Cwith o remark: “I shoula |1oft faat » try again and sce know vou well enough, I voted for {1f You can use the little brains you soveral times” e was se- |HEAVER gave you now, once Tninded that each elector is allowed |MOFe «... remember, throw out the 1o vote bt once at any election ana [¢luteh, now push forward .... NO, voting “several times” is an oftense | NO» NO ... you went into reverse which might mean Atlanta. How- . how'd I know yoy were going was suceessful in making |to do it . we won't have a gear left .... 1 know I sald forward but you didn't let me finish what I was going to say .... yes, when you go all the way forward you start back- {ward .... no, it doesn't sound crazy that's the way the car is made .... Mow start once more .... g0 into first gear .... that's it—now before you do anything more listen to me .... push the rod HAIF WAY forward .... then across to the right that's it now for- ward again .. THROW O |YOUR CLUICH, THROW OUT YOUR CLUTCH there, you've stalled **'xxxxx—" thing .... you certainly are dumb .... yes, I know T said for better or worse but I {didn’t think any human being could |be 8o bad .... oh, stop crying .... |1 haven't said a thing yet ....now you're in neytral .y pull the rod to the left, now back .... now re- lease your clutch .... oh for hea- ven's sake, you forgot to step on the starter always remember that your engine must be running start the car .. STE, WAIT A MIN- don’t ever start your en- gine while you're in gear .... and people wonder why husbands go mad now pull yourself together .. .. I didn't swear at you 1 was talking to myself how do you expect to drive with tears in your eyes .... start your engine ... that't it .... now go into first gear .... that's it now forward HALF WAY, across, and forward that's it .... now you're in ! second gear, go into third .... push out the clutch and pull the red all the way back en the right .. that's it ....now you're running .keep in the middle of the road . if you want to go to the left in, ever, he the touch. A prominent party worker was ap- proached by @ young man who claimed to have wide | fluence and who b {he party's disposal to get votes, pro- vided a ear la cnough to commodate several p ngers could e furnished. He was asked where he wished to go for the voters, and plicd: “Plainville, Southington and Meriden.” Asked if they were voters in New DBritain, he replied negatively, and he expressed great surprise when informed that such a condition is required by the law. Whichever part coived your vote at tion and whatever resulting opinion | of the outcome you may hold, we have less than no doubt at all re- garding tour view of this angle of the balloting: it w on than the one they staged | ¢nievgn. In case you do not under. stand what we mean, we give be 1-ihing roughly approximat- ing an account of the New Britain m have re Tucsday's ele most for- Imagine ancestry 1 cggsaggerated. ners are cg her trying to ¢ over our old could egsplode | tio gsalt her | Colonial families. with eggaspe iggselently put, my dear. Let's clude her from our se “I would even eggscede | woula eggscommunicate all our eggsercises. “Eggsactly — we will completely egenore her eggsistence.” “Eggsactly! (Copyright b that. T her from 1928. Reproduction Forbidden) and three minutes later the police didates withdvew from the field at| nd a republican majority into bis. | the | however, | and | 94 away, | i turn the wheel in that direction . don’t wobble all over the highway ... first thing you know we'll pr in the ditch .... step on the gas a bit or we'll be arrested for blocking the road .... NO, NOT AS MUCH AS THAT — LOOK OUT, YOU'RE HEADING FOR THAT TREE . take your foot off the gas PULL YOUR WHEEL OVER LOOK OUT, LOok . Two minutes later: “I told you no woman is com- petent to drive a car. "AUIl cost a' least $300 for repai Observations On The Weather Washington, April 14.—Forecast for Southern New England: Cloudy Saturday followed by rain in after- noon or night, Sunday clearing and colder. Forecast for eastern New Yor Increasing cloudiness, followed rain Saturday afternoon and night except snow in extreme north por- tion Sunday; generally fair and colder; except snow flurries in cast {and north portions. | Conditions: The indications ar for rain Saturday and Saturdoy night over much of the arca east of the Mississippi river. On Sunday the weather will be mestly fair es- cept that there will be snow flurries in northern New England. The tem- peraturc will fall considerably Saturday and Saturday night in all areas except in Florida peninsula and northern New England. NOAH FINDS NEW WAY 0 STOP CAR Tough on Your Shoes He Kiows Now (Contributed) | Dear Mary Ann | Last weck I promiscd to tell you more about the entertainment that | was given by the Sovial club of the | factory where I puts in my time dur- {ing working hours. One of the numbers on the program was |monologue by Noah Count. A | monologue is a sorta onc-man con- | versation in which a fella can talk | about himself and get v with it, | especially if he tells it entertaining- Iy. As you know, Noah is the happy-go-lucky guy that refused to | be downhearted even when his girl | friend Magnesia jiltted him five times during one weck. Noah drawled a mean line of patter and handed us many a chuckle. | “When I first came over to this | country, from Routhington,” begins Noah, as though he didn't 2 whether he got a laugh or not could read and write but I had hard time getting acquainted e cause I had just been vaccinated and my arm was so swollen that 1 could hardly talk. My first job was looking for work. I had been thinking (and every time I think i get a headache, so far during ‘my life I've almost had a headache) that I could maybe gct a job in a local factory. “I finally got a job as crrand boy. And the first day on the job I war complimented by the bos He said: “Noah Count, you're the only guy in the shop that n - walk around in his sleep and not stumbl He also said that they was #0 many who fell asleep at their work that they ought to com: dressed for the occasion. Someon: overheard this remark and the next day one-halt of the office force cam« to work dressed in pajamas. “Sceing I had a flivver the com- pany had me use it on errands to neighboring towns, for which I was allowed eight cents per mile. On returning from a trip I presented bill, for so many miles, also an ad- ditional charge of six dollars. The company, Wwith an eye to their in- terests, said, “We'll pay this bill for s0 many miles, but why the add tional charge of six dollars?” “Oh, I stammers, kinda embarrassed hat's for a new pair of shocs. axplain yourself,” says the com- pany. “As 1 was coming down Elm Hill,” T explains, “the brakes failed to work and the enly way I could stop the flivver was to park mysclf on the running-board and drag my feet.” “After work I called “Lanky” Long, and found the parlor playing aeviolin. That boy can play a violin, and how. He bends down towards the floor to get a low note, and stands up on a chair to reach a high one. T asks him how does he like playing the violin and he says, “It's good exer- cise but Kinda expens What do yuh mean, expensive? T asks. He answers, “Last night, while playing a difficult sclection I broke three pairs of suspenders.” He showed me his garden and I noticed that he had placed some wire to it and T aske what was the big idca. He said, “A plant nceds light. doesn’t it?" I agreed. “Well, then he says, “I'm connecting the wires to the_dahlia bulbs.” He had also planted a great many cabbage and when I asks why h planted so many he replied, cause they grow quicker.” Thinking he's trying to kid me along I says, “What do yuh mean. they grow quicker.” “Don’'t you know,” he ex- plains, “that when cabbage is plant- ed in competition with other vege- tables it always come out a head.” Noal handed us quite a spicl, Mary but T can’t tell more about it now as they’s a guy outside with a new Ford and I'm to teach him how to drive, if possible. If we manages to stay on the road half of the time I'll be satisfied and will sce you later. upon him in ANDY DALE. DISCUSS ALUMNI ACTIVITIES Minneapolis, Minn., April 14 (P— Exactly what position old grads ishould take in the collegiate scheme: . {will be considered at the 15th an- nual conference of the American Alumni Council at the University of| : Minnesota May 3, 4, and 5. FINANCING A WAR Shanghai, April 14 UP — The Nanking government is levying five to eight per cent on civil employes’ | salaries for funds to wage the mili-| tary campaign against Peking.