New Britain Herald Newspaper, January 22, 1927, Page 6

'New Britain Herald : "HERALD PUBLISHING COMPANY 3 Tssued Dally (Sunday Excepted) At Herald Bldg., 61 Church Btreet. SUBSCRIPTION RATES 33.00 & Year. $3.00 Thres Montha T6c. a Month, Hntered st the Post Office at Naw Bri as Second Class Mail Matter. TELEPHONB CALLS Business Off1 ” Editorial” Rooms 92 The only profitable advertising medium | in the City. Circulation books and press room slways open to advertirers. Member of the Associated Press. The Associated Prese is exciusively en- | titled to the use for re-pubiication of all news credited to it or not otherwise ‘credited in this paper and also local news published theretn. — | Member Audit Bureau of Circulation. | The A. B. C. 1a a national organisatio | which furnishes newspapers and adve Csers with a strictly honest analysle of circulation. Our _circulation statistice are based upon this sudit. This insur Drotectlon egainst traud in newspaper | Alstribution figwes to both national and local advertisers. The Herald s on sale daily in New York at Hotaling's Newsstand, Tim Square; Schultz's Newsstands, Entrance Grand Central, ¢2nd Street. e e e ARBITRATING MEXICO | The suave and President alles of Mexico has the dictatorial and obstruse Secretary of State Ke | | wily | from which islation it saw fit. Since that time the menace has rapidly deterlorated, and the entire law has become one of those queer things on the statute books which occasion more laughter than respect. Obviously, the law should he re- pealed. A mistake has been made. There are a horde of mistaken laws on the books which are not enforced, but they invariably date from the anclent days when all manner of imaginary evils were sought to he corrected by passing laws about them. Having made an error in passing the funny film tax law, the ! state should take heed to erase the offending clauses and before the laughter becomes too great, SMALL TOWN TAX Tax Commissioner Blodgett has been busy of late years in an effort to make the citics of the state col- lect their taxes properly. M Brit- ain is one of the cities the tax com- missioner admires In this regard; he | has held up this city as a model in respe ‘What has the row i Bridgeport been ahout except consternation over the state's action in virtually forcing a better collec- tion of taxes, even if it had to be done with the special law known as the ripper bill? The sloner has been heard to remark occasionally that the larger cities of the state now are | in pretty fair shape as to the tax collection systems in vogue; but the towns, the country towns the majority of state ew some ts. tax comm smaller, logg in quite a fair-sized hole. By | sccepting the principle of arbitra- | and the United States some of the hot alr is taken from the sails of socretary Kellogg and now nothing | remains but to cavil at the method | of arbitration to be pursued. Sec- | rotary Kellogg can be relled ugon to find a way to hait the proceed- or to prevent them from ever ding. There is no glory for his ing proc: i Jepartment in arbitration; in fact, the arbitral award may go entirely \gainst the Kelloggian thesis, and this would be too bad. The arbitration resolution of the | “enate now stands, however, and the. alacrity with which the Mexi- ‘can government accepted the prin- ciple of the thing indicates that | “there are no issues at stake between the two governments that cannot be colved with fair-minded negotiation. The Senate, by adopting the Robin- no war-like | son resolution, wants moves from Kellogg while Congr: is not in session during the summer. Knowing the state department pretty well by now, this is a wise D | scaution, | The mild President Coolidge probably will be a solvent | in the state department, This atti- attitude of tude is due primarily to the knowl- | edge that the country has been _heard from. Nobody with sense secs any reason for warlike action re- | garding Mexico for the benefit of a few oil magnates, at least one of th most important being one of the in- ividuals who has figured in one of ‘the two notorious oil land leasing scandals in our own country. In Al tion in the dispute between Mexico | senators come, furnish another story. tax commissioner, despite the the tems in vogue has unable to bring the state’s efflciency system into operation in these small places k lection lax tax col- in t abou wofull y these evident places, n | The tax commissioner says in his report that loss than 90 per cent of have been collected during the first ear they have fallen due; and that | his records show that if the taxes| are not collected in these places during the first year the chances are only one In three that they will be collected In later years. Such state- | ments have been made by the lnx‘ commissioner almost every year; in speeches and in conversations with | 18 known, would affect seven succeeded in beating the government officials to several banks by only 15 minutes and withdrawing a little pin money, totalling $500,000, before a lien could be placed against his funds. Perhaps this was the entire object of the trip to New York, as when the comedian took it there was no suggestion anywhere that the | internal revenue department would | scent an opportunity to scatter a tew liens; but the film star at least went. to the city where he was well aware a goodly portion of his spare change was on deposit, and it any auick action were needed he was on the ground to take it. How effec- tively he worked when the occasion arose was recounted in the dis- patches. As the Chaplin case is primarily a battle over money the comedian has won one round. His wife, allot- ted $4,000 a week alimony, hasn't got a dollar as yet, the reason be- ing, it is said, that while she is on the Pacific coast the . husband's money is on the Atlantic coast. The Chaplin imbreglio to become a cause celebre, with money lurking in the background. | The fact that the government is so | thoroughly interested in the Chaplin | Another annoyance about ci milllons would indicate that all is |18 that Ceniral won't tell you: where not well In the income tax depart- | D¢ fire s ment. The suit may be even more costly than payments to the w [Fmaraiisse. Americanism: Yearning for cul- | cursing the lecturer who clogs | when you want jazz. FactsandFancies BY ROBERT QUILLEN ot baseball situation: Didn't, either.” Synops! “Did, to We can't let our Army and Navy 2o to pot. Think of the bean grow- But how do officlals know.which group of Chinese is the mob? David thought all men llars, and he wasn't a speed cop, either, Much of what ew York Note to London: vou think static on the telephone is gum chewing. N ~ 2 - =] A male is a person who knows | that nothing serious will happen even if the telephone isn't answered | immediately. threatens | ¢ import a little hee folk can do enough | America m but the home beet | | 1t wealth is conscripted in the xt war, the true pacifist can go | broke to ease his conscience. ! fe and at- GOVERNMENT AND POWER One of the little jobs which Presi- | So “freezing is largely mental.” | Anyway, we know a critic whose mind never scems to thaw out, dent Coolidge has on his hands but | is undecided about Is the project to dam the Colorado river and create | enemics of church or | zealots who | are | er whose dishonor part Wwol are those to a le is exposed. an immense reservoir, irri | tem and incidentally tion sys- | power pros- pects. The Boulder canyon dam, as it at the seven | protects swimmers, For | enough ofl will get you 1l swim, | and only the fact that commonwealths cannot upon | the dlvision of the jrrigation waters prevents action in Congress at this | time, | The Presi gard to the somewhat open agre: t's attitude with re- power possibilities is to The | plan is for the government to hulid the irrigafion project; it pended large sums in preliminary engineering it question, has ex-} “you can estimate a man’s age by what he thinks of a corn cob pipe. before work; is officials he has held up the necessity | of more prompt collection of taxes | in the country towns, | Yet nothing is done about it. The | majority of legislatures come from | these small towns, and the most un- | popular thing they can do is to in- flict “ripper” legislation applying te their home constituents. They are not eager to act; the sum total of representatives from the small towns | are a political power in the legis- lature, and anyone 3 who begins to | nker with their lax tax collection | President thinks the enormous pot But when the dust'settles, there will be Great ain, calmly doing | business in Chin, through it will have spent millions. And when all this is finished the how odd that an always have convictions to th that hires him. But alienist er generating possibilities should be should handed over to some private con- | please cern, on the score that the govern- icism hecomes a | eve anything, even | ment should not go into the electric power b On general principles this may be the logical attitude; but when Eventually agno | tesolve_ not 1o e it it seems true. The proof of tact other fellow belie worse than ever 3 to 1ot suffering urs was. the is government goes to all the expense | s of constructing the g irrigation project, one large enough | it dam and | Correct this sentence: “He §s a to affect the fortunes of seven states, | systems is sure to find himself the it would not be going much further to hold a grip upon the power sy: tem which the government through its own =fforts will have developed. The Ontario Hydroelectric Power | acme of unpopularity in the Legis- | 1ature. The tax commissioner has gone as far as he has dared to call | | attention to the manifest delinquen- cies of the small town tax payers, but he is not trylng to experiment | with any strong arm methods, Such | methods are reserved for the cities, system for years has been held up a fine example of power being gen- | erated ana distributed by a province, | or state, as we call them. The fed- where the sum total of representa- | tives do not form a political block | | eral government should be able to | normal man,” said the eritic, “but e never argues that his watch | right and vours wrong.” | Copyright, 1927, Publishers | | Syndicate | 25 Yeat:s Ago Today | Defective elect | helieved to be t wilich destroyed St. terday morn Send all communications to Fun | | Shop Editor, care Of the New | Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York. e e e Another Iron We Recommend, Tolk Let's praise the waffle iron, do, But let's not be forgetful, too, A laugh’ll iron cares away, Improve lifc’s menu any day! A Dab of Ignorance They were showing the prim young thing a Southern plantation with the cotton plants in full bloom. “Isn’t it simply imed. “It's really the first time > ever scen powder-puffs grow- AND RE A Tine Choice says Mrs. Barnegat, the way to get a hat! just pay three dollars down; What good, then, hubby's frown? He has got his choice, you see Pay the rest, or lose the three! —Arthur Culre i Tong May She Limp The bottoms of her feet were gore, And covered with contusions, Because, as women do, she had Been jumping at conclusions! —Allce Lake IRS yer. . Misplaced World know the world is very And I am rather small; I just can’t understand, sometimes, What mother means at all, I big I always thought that T was in The world; how can it b That mother smiles and says she has The whole wide world in me —Maxine Chapman PR \ True to Form Day married Helen His mother said, “It seems just right For him to do this, for I'll say He always did turn night to day —larion Harriman Hopeful b v hushand had re we were Mrs, a hope chest, too, Robinson: “What did he ve in it?" Mrs, Newly to be darncd ed: “Socks, waiting —Josephine Tricola MS FROM THE DARKTOWN NEW Edited by Onyx and Florian > (Supervised By Paul S, Powers) In Darktown Society Fatima Zippy entertai gentleman with a bridge Sunday evening. De bridge ated three miles north ob own, Friends of Mrs. Callic Pip pleas- antly surprised her with a her divorce anni nesday evening. Soup and other mu- sical numbers on de program and a perfectly hysterical time was had by all, . » Women's Page HOUSEHOLD HINTS. Ordinary ne will remove bloodstains from rolling pins, Talcum wonderful?” she | ed a powder | —THE 0B Whether or not the movement started by Councilman Samuel Sab- lotsky at the council mecting this weck, to change the system of regu- lating salaries of city officials and cmployes, works out satisfactorily, it is well it has been inaugurated, be- cause there i the possibility of its resulting in some improvement of the system, or lack of system, in ef- fect at present. True, efforts have been put forth in years gone by, to rrect conditions as regards the lary question, and still the buries- | que goes on annually, some officlals {and employes benefiting while oth- equally as faithful, capable and | certainly as needy, are held back in a rut with no chance of increasing |their carning capacity unless through a threat to leave the em- ploy of the municipality. Tt is hoped | which Councilman Sablotsky’s reso- | lution calls for, will | matter very thoroughly and not | merely go through the formality of | holding one or two meetings before allowing it to pass by default. It | scems like one of the livest toples | that has been made the subject of |inquiry in some time and it is de- rving of proper handling. Tt is a | that practically every council | member ever to have served on the ry committee realizes the im- | practicability of the which the question of compensation | for services rendered is handled; and is fully cogni | ch The main purpose behind the pro- | posed cr should be to arrive at plan which would be equitable to all. T borer is worthy of his hire in city hall just as well as in a | factory, office or store, and he and I'she should be pald according] fact that one official or employe hap- | pens to have more friends in the fa | council than a co-worker has, should not give the former an advantage | when the question of compensation |is up for decision. An honest effort should be made to gatdge the im- portance of every position and the worth of the incumbent, and the catch - as - cafch - can, hit-or-mis policy should be scrapped and never | resurrected, | While the uproar over the in- cligibility of 16 high school hasket- ball players is still audible and criti- are being directed at the regu- [ lation which, led to their being barred from games played under headmasters’ rules, it may give a hearing to the proponents of such a measure. The rule was | formulated for several sufficient rea- sons, the complaint about it being | more against the way in which it was forced into operation on many unsnspecting players against tho rule itself. In the first place, it is designed to prevent a hoy from playing too much in any sport and thus “burning him- 1t is believed t two games a week, with practice s | sions on other days, zive the player all of any sport which his ph can withstand. Scores of promising youngsters right ir ruined themselves by overdoing | basketball and other sports, and it | now appcars as it too many games | were wearing out the National Guard. The schools justify them- selves as long as they give the boy cnough sport to satisfy him and not cnough to hurt his physical condi- tion; their weakness comes in that than Makes Random Observations On the City and Its People that the committee | consider the | manner in | ant of the need for a | The | be well to | s0 | one or | ique | New Britain have | SERVER— work is broken up when players carry in their heads two or more sets of signals and as many styles of play. The Boys' club had this trouble two years ago when its wonderfully knit combination was almost wrecked by the use of players who also partici- pated in the rougher, looser and more haphazard factory league games; when they played with the club team they often reverted to their “dusty” league tactics and the team work went to smash. And of course the rule eliminates “ringers,” professionals, and others who cannot be tolerated in amateur sport. The local school officials, we un- derstand, disapprove of the rule but must abide by it. They agree with the regulation in principle, although {they feel that outside play should be controlled by them rather than by an iron-bound prohibitory rule. | They have no objéction to boys' | playing with church teams and others where the youngsters are sup- posedly under good influence, but they vigorously oppose thelr partici- | pating in games with teams which | come under the influence of profes- | sionalism or underhanded playing | standards. Justifiable or not, the clause in the headmasters’ rules stands and those who violated it must pay the penal- ty imposed this year by the inser- tion of the “joker.” However, no stigma can be attached to the play- ers, since they disregarded the rule; | because they did not know of its existence. Down from the regions of Belvi-| dere and Clayton are floating the dolorous wailings of ~automobilists who must, of necessity, use Stanley street beyond Hartford avenue and to the end of the car tracks as an | avenue of entrance and exit into our | fair city “Why,” they wail, “is so much at- | tention given to other main arte |ies on the subject of snow clear- ance, while this one, probably the most important of all, and surely | the most important to us, is left in |a condition which would make a polar hear rub its paws with glee and say ‘home again'.” They grow quite excited about the |idea and invite a trip out to their district to prove their statement. A nt journey to the disputed ter- ritory rather substantiates their claim in our minds and the score for'the week fs evidently: Snow 18, Stanley Quarter 0. Stanley street from Hartford ave- nue to the end of the car tracks is wrrow, even in the best weather. o passTone of the yellow demons which traffic the street and gulp up the car tokens requires a sure hand and a steady eye, even in the mid- dle of August when nary a speck | | of snow is to be found south of the| Admunsen Highway. And now with | the snow banked on the sides of the | road in a- manner which makes news reels of the Alps seem merely slight d Mr. and Mrs. Automo- bilist from Stanley Quarter fall in line and parade into town behind | the trolley cara. One try at the game is really fun. The cat boils along in second. gear and the alcohol simmers gently in the increasing temperature. The cedometer rises rapidly to 10 miles an hou crybody laughs nd has a big time, The second try at the game isn't as funny, the third event begins to {pall and after that 1t becomes a | | | | | | fix it! up right. | N |in the winter because few |are different. tender is what you really netd. Mr. and Mrs. Stanley Quarter also have & bone to pick with the night operators of the trolleya. These in- dividuals are termed as the most nonchalant beings in existence. Down the narrow street they fiv with power oozing from every gen- erator while they carry on extreme- ly interesting conversations with passengers, even turning around to get a full view of the other person’s face to watch for expressions of wonderment which spring with each new story of the hazards of moter- maning. Record books also come in for a revision on the trips and often times frantic motorists have ditched their cars while Motorman Number Something has bent his head over a complicated addition while the car roared on. Things really must be remedied, say the Belviderians and the Clay- tonians. Apollo Belvidere, for whom the district was named, when inter- viewed yesterday had little to say on the subject. “Yes, things are pretty bad,” he stated with a slow shake of his head “But I really don't see what we're going to do aboutyit. The street is preity narrow you know and it would take considerable widening to Of course there could he some other way to dispose of the snow instead of banking it on the sides but—say, what do you think of Greta Garbo. I think she's the berries.” Now that Ngw Britain has cast aside its swaddling clothes, it might not be amiss for the government to appropriate enough money annual- ly to effectually remove snow and ice from the public streets. When Main street resembled a busy day in the “Old Home Town,” when hosses jogged up and down and the constables fell asleep against hitching posts, it was just as well to neglect street conditions poople But conditions today New Britain has a population of well over 70,000, Tt is a live community with many im- portant streets which are used for commercial purposes of principal arteries of traffic. What is the situation? Main street and a few other thorough- fares in the center of the clty are cleaned after a snowstorm. Then 1he department of public works rubs its hands, exclaims glesfully at its success in making the highways safe for democracy and lies in wait for the next storm. As a result several streets which are used daily by thousands of pedestrians and auto- mobile drivers are giten only cur- sory attention. The result of such a policy is ap- parent to anyone who observes con- ditions at present. No attempt ham heen made to clear gutters. Con- sequently highways and sidewalks are in a deplorable state. It is im- possible to walk five yards on any side street without wading through pools. Streets are like rivers and pedestrians on sldewalks are splash- ed by passing autos. New Britain should wake up to the fact that it is a city. Clearing of gutters by the strect department would convince residents that they are getting something for their money. Auto Thieves Make Hauls in Park City, Bridgeport, Jan. 22 (A—Automo- bile thieves were busy in Bridgeport last night when three cars were re- ported stoler to the police, The first car reported stolen Wi taken while parked at Pembroke and Maple street and was owned by George Gajda. It was a sedan car- rying registration F. 8508. Clarence Anderson reported his car stolen from Washington avenus and Coleman street. ventured out. principle the people are opposed 0| o+ erioiunt wirangth to bother any. | 00 ISt 38 much for its citizens in | being made the goats to benefit the | ono o 41y 1 ogicature 7 the soutnwest: oil magnates who are not aho\'v‘ | ing the fact that the government, | charging all that the traffic “m‘ : lownright nuisance. On Monday, uesday, Wednesday and Thursday| - Robert Coyne reported that his they begin to use harsh words. On|car wa# stolen while he attended a Friday they begin to cuss—today |boxing match. they are approaching open revolt in | | the form of shooting the motorman- the substitutes do not play enough | under this plan and seek additional | action elsewhere. | Again, it is claimed that team | sprinkled in de howl twice daily will | | prevent gold fish from- becoming chafed. Apply stove polish to freck- les, rub in b kly and they soon disappear. were thought at first fo be but Engineer Towers states the s was turned off at the first alarm. | ted by a Catholic man [ meeting be especially consider- Action regarding the small towns 5 and not the private Interests, is| 1t was st bear whenever an automobile needs | e ar wh RUSSIAN MUSIC OONTESTS is greatly needed. Why should the | ™™ i | tax payers n the cities ba punctili. | PUI4INE the power generating plant | this morning S s . . “gass.” THE STATE FILM LAW n Connecticut makes an ex- ubject i and Wh periment the choice of the s | generally poor. Its officials legisiators seem to be singularly de- imagination. Of the hand to pass laws of distinctly novel flavor, tangible ficient in dozens of possibilities on which would prove some point for othér states to cop: s done little Tts as-you- the Nutmeg state so far wort of emulation. most touted achievement, the go system, is not a law, but a policy; and despite the insistent advertisi old party few states given to it by the grs Hart care to follow centering in or in its wake, prob- ably realizing that such a policy can- u in Connec Tn hittin be con ned even upon 1 iin of the plan what was r m (uart s an experime conse- quence; and much on All would A vas tracted to the law. been well if the tax I s expected been a rar its failure; tha lect the tax th it. Tax Commissioner Blodgett, who from the day the powers-t comf rid We nof ! of satisfact was passed two years ; > bit in didn’t think the s or a ¢ T 1 with a brand new rded the nt to court about it, only moving picture menace at the sfate was privi- leged to pass any kind of crazy leg- 2l |in the first place. Judging by the reluctance of Con- gress to dispose of Muscle Shoals to the southern power J ously looked after and forced to pay | promptly and in full, while the tax | payers in the communities | | throughout the state are permitted | to make faces at the state tax ge- | Probable that the government wi | parment? Logic and reason stag. | e in no hurry to hand over | ger at the prospect. Let the smal | 2ble power rights in the s e when the Boulder project is f of 1 small trust it seems alu- hwest en do their duty like the rest | and if they imagine they can | COmpleted. get by Indefinitely by failing to pay { their just share of state taxes it is | the duty of the state to change t} 058070(”1.0" | il On The Weather along | mind, But then, nothing much | these lines will be done, The political power in the small towns for th battle; he | too tax eommissioner to would be worsted, What | | is ; Washington, Jan. 22.—Forecast for Southern New England: Cloudy land somewhat occasional rains Saturda; rain and colder. | Forecast for Eastern New with somew much warmer, probably is the use Sunday of having political pow- | | er. anyway, if it isn't going to mean sometimng tangible? That, at | is one of the York armer in | southeast portion Saturday; Sunday rain and colder in extreme eouth | and snow or rain in north and cen- | tral portions, | Condition minor intensity ¢ | Tilinois Friday northeastward wit | Huro | over nor | day least, Rain thirteen command- ments in the rural districts, DEATH OF A CHILD shocking to refleet that city a child died nourishment and heat A disturbance of developed over light is moving | center over Lake disturbance t w rn Newfoundland Thurs- | lack of during cold weather, when there was no coal in for the bin and no fielping hands pres- » time to al northeastward te the con- with greatly in ditions. Since that time, of course cloudne WS ove ind her remaining children been taken care of while the | o court has the husband's case At hottom : ® in will urday night Ohio Vailoy N | O} robably ch or rn nd, Lure state night, but overspre of Flo which mper ou een able to ieath of an i to | 1 never oc- | mstances, wou 3 » | Two Thousand Caspian g Fishermen Are Frozen 23 (UP) ) assistance it prompt &pian to den b b ad the need SQUABBLE OVER MONEY Charlie Chaplin cama to N« 1 w York of t has heen object tra 4 1n bt or are snowhour many sections of the country s bared | in New York tha the announcement | .o "o 0 g at t omedian | gjons with frozen han cir destina- Sy 11 | pas- called and contributions be giver wards a new church. He figures | $50,000 could be raised in this w: | and added to a like amount from | { the insurance. Ferdinand Councd), K. | of C.. has already appropriated $200 | for {he purpose. Masses will be held | | temporarily in the Fast Main street | | armory. The Twenti hold a dance in | hall on January | Son’s orchestra. ‘ prompter. A thousand | Herald were hought th Century club will wington town Prof. Joslyn &| M. J. Lynch,| extra copies of the Iast night be- | of the complete account of the | | ehurch fire. Another cdition was run of? this ing and is being sold | ! ofit rapialy. James J. Jeffries, pugilist, will giv boxing at the Opers Plainville is aronsed the Farmington trolley, and Sc man Prior has written to the sup- posed owner, Mr that he must either operate cars or vacate | the highway and remove the t It s now inderstood Mr. Barnes does not own the road ot any portion | mo; again s of The FHart 1d d T a met this A. D. Cady. Pa there this eve lers of the Plainvi ir annnal iscopal auxillary | 1 afternoon w Rugby Signals Clear | Many Parts of World Rugby, Jan AP—Wi from this station to distan the world results, port of the Wir m i Here loss tests part s wecor are New Yor ible throt ind jammineg, Off Nantucket— bhad h atmospherics oly ix note ten times stre Copyable, N¢ r minute note Atlant W distine ana 1 at ns e shi 1erics Ammiy ~ (result rs) —noto Kong elear « East rem signal 1 stea Indies—s received Suez—gi ood and clear, Advertisings Charms 1d Hoodoos for hind foot of jackrabbit rd—four bits, Love Tucky Sule. Left caught in grave perfu even de rent collector crave Kisse: with vou bucks. Hard luck n-law’ Professor Witchery, aturn 1 is not responsible for any debts or washings done by my , Missouri Jone This means you! Madagascar T, Jones. Personal! Fellow, T knows you where you live! M Jones, nd T knows dagascar THE JUNGLE NECKERS e Seon— ot Dog; “Wi St. Bernard, yder: “Just a saint would run around at night does."” Perkins urs? —Mary Eason KRAZY KIND (Conducted by teher: “Hows dical student, Spa stly: “He's in jail for 1 v operation on & man's d and t man sed it tuff and had ) your Spag ity and Mac o1 Mac w Roney loved Ravvie I gave her a crueller but he gave her three, Now I'm offer Mac sonnet.” —ZEleanor Shepard Now Oswald! August: ““They tell me you're a great lover of Oswal. bologny a lot of ~—Herman Tetzer, {(Copyrignt, 1927, Reproduction Forbidden) conductor of the vehicle and de- | stroying the thing with sharp axes, | Meeting a car coming in the op- | posite direction is worse still. The driver has two alternatives, driving | into the nearest anow bank and tak- | | ing his chances on digging out again | or making a desperate try at skin- | ning past the car. The latter meth-| od usually ends up in the garage man saying: “Well, T can straighten |it out for you all right but a new| ! i CARRY I HIMSELF IR WHERE HE PUT THAT BOTILE. HAS UNEASY FEEUNG IT'S RIGHT IN (ORNER WHERE LEAST JAR WOULD BREAR IT s the wisest, doggonit— | AS BAGGAGE 1S THROWN OFF. WONDERS 1P THAT L0UD CRASH WAS HIS SUITCASE ABLE W T, WITH ht, 1927, by The Bell Moscow, (UP).—The All-Russian accordlon championship, just con- cluded, was such a sensational guc- cess that similar contests have been arranged for players of the guitar, Mandolin and balalaika. Like the accordion, these are national instru- ments of Russia which have not yet been recognized by musical au- thorities, althoughthe Russian vil. lages abound with players of great- skill, ¢ X P = TS PORTER NEVERMIND DOESN SEE WHY PORTERS — THERE'S ANVTHING BREAK- RUSHES TORWARD 10 RE~ ABOUT RIS SUITCASE, HELL MAKE SUCH A FUSS ABOUY ETTING BREGAGE OFF. IS TINDS PORTER TOOK SIMPLER TO HANDLE IT YOUR- SUITCASE ANYWAY SELF, ESPECIALLY WHEN TRIEVE IT, BUT VESTIBULE 15 BLOCKED WITH PASSENGY ERS WAITING TO 6ET OFF TRAIN STOPS. HEARS THUMPS REACHES STEPS ATIAST. FINDS SUTC-SE WAMNG | 15 CERTAIN THAT'S KIS SRFE AND UNHARMED, SUITCASE MAN IS WALK- WITH NOTHING LEAKING ING DOWN PIATFORM OUT OF IT. 6RABS IT TleHY AND STRIDES OFF