New Britain Herald Newspaper, December 4, 1926, Page 6

New Britain Herald ERRALD PUBLISHING COMPANY ‘Yssued Dally (Sunday Esxcepted) Mw Bidg., §1 Church BStreet. " SUBSCRIPTION RATES 9000 & Yoar. $3.00 Three Months 76c. & Month. it Entered at the Post Ofice at New Brituin ma Second ‘Class Mall Matter. I TELEPHONE CALLS Business Office 925 Rditorial Rooms . 926 The only profitable advertistng mediwm | fn the 'City, Girculation booke and prese room always open to advertisers. t t Member of the Associated Press, The Associsted Press s exclusively en- titled to the use for re-publication of all news credited to ft or not otherwiee credifed i this paper and aleo local news published therein. i t Member Audit Bureau of Circulation. The A. B. C. fs a natlonal organization which furnishes newspapers and adver- tisers with a strictly honest anaiysis of | circulation. Our circulation etatistice are baged upon this mudit. This fnsures | protection againr: fravd in mewepaper distribution figu.es to both national and focal mdvertisers. The Horald (s on sale daily In New York at -Hotaling's Newsetand, Times Square; Bchultz's Newsstands, Entrance | Grand Central, 42nd Btreet. | see whether For ‘a week it has been evident | fromi the evidence given in the | Hall-Mills case that a verdict ‘of suilty would be very uni he proseeition has been strong on sur- It takes ely. mises but weak on proof. the latter to convict. The trial has cleared the atmos- phere. The state at least 10 the limit of its endeavors. as gonc END THE SMALL TOWN JUSTICE SYSTEM The fes, and justice s some of the small towns of Conne ticut, including the constable tem, the grand Jjuror (prosccufor system, and the officlal rel system leading to fines or durance tem in | | sys- tape vile, are as unsatisfactory as b. v. d.s in wintg | Constables are paid “by in some towns the ar-| rest,” and in the state receive no remuneration at all when no arrests are made. Cons quently they do not rely upon ar- resting folks for a livelthood, but merely: for the garnering of spare change. Occasionally, when hard up arrests are madec for cash, miore than ordinarily. Here is how it works stable locks a man up and notifies a turn gets in touch with a justice and a time grand jurer, who in the hearing is set. There are no fixed times for | holding court, the sessions held whenever it is most conve for officlals, regardless of how in- convenient it may be to the inno- cent: (fometimes) citizen bebind Yhe | ufacturing new verbs. When motor being | nt bary e officials have other p tlons which keep them busy and fre- quently cause - postponement trials. of Constables frequently are said to play favorites with the grand jurors | and the: grand jurors do the with..the justices. In some towns theps are family relationships be- | twacn these dignitarics, so that cer taig offi than other: are’ not always the fair ame | 1s get many . And the hardest worked best very few more cases ‘or versed in legal m: them either jurers know anything about law, be- ingt laymen elceted to office. the or grand The main idea behind the | ams to be tk the, i ‘fact 2 collection of fe cosets of ible. that many dropped on the tem has the advantage court—as quickly by cases This is indicated the of the are ‘costs” T f the tow payment of by person In t s sy officials getting their out undue del the it will be mainspring b y or money, hind this pec tem of meting out stice Offenders, w the' system, ar thagt the best w cully is to pay fraedom. * Sorm e cha from goi losing the fees The Dreak In of prehist times, essarily provent done but certainly stant temptation to o 1 detriment to th jurisdiction of the court thd, prisoner who is fa prdposition to pay the gain his fre om, re or ponsiderations, it is cor may be innocent of wrong could little clear himself in expense 1o him the employment of counse| he 1s stimulated choos to oheaper and quicker way to pay the “costs” and thercby mit the officials ‘to obtair pound of flesh Consider A Plainville v cently. case in The justice was called away to drive the govegnor's automobile. and let the prisoner go free. When the prisoner came into court thought the constable juror were taking graft money from him and put up a strong protest, which resulted in an by the first selectman. Happily there system to permit an “investigation” ogeasionally. { duly entered in the books, and that | everything’ was above board and ac- cording to the method dure, which have a regular town court, Plainville and which still cling to the old-time | | court is the ct | ducted. daily reports to His Majesty of the | Reindeer; | warehouse for good little tots can that the bewhi | What | of a railroad advertis | the, S0 often makes for stilted English! He told the grand juror, or prose- cutor, to collect the costs of court he and grand investigation s enough democracy left in the It was found that the money col- ected from the prisoner had been of proce- In towns where this ancient jus- ice system is no longer in force, but hese criticisms do not apply. That such other towns ustice m should modernize | adopt the town ief moral to be de- hemselves and GOOD FOR SANTAY That | “BE What very policeman is the direct repre- making every child knows: ntative of Santa Claus, i store 1s a| that every Santa Claus, where see the things red gentleman will bring them if they are good; that everybody is spying upon them to they really ‘“mind” | their mamas; that there is no time | like the present to be good for pro- | around. | Christmas comes hen cludes slang as well literary can. didates for the lexicon of real English. STATE DEPARTMENT PROPAGANDA At last the American state depart- ment has “nothing to say.” Having been caught red-handed in an ef- fort to broadcast pure propaganda it hides itself in its shell, or burles its head underneath the sand, until the storm blows over. Had it not been for the St. Louls Post-Dispatch and the New York World, which exposed the thing; and the Baltimore Sun and Baftimore Evening Sun, which exploited their findings until other editors were aroused, the state department might have gotten off unscathed. Frank Billings Kellogg, secretary of state, thought himself of & won- derful scheme to stimulate prejudice against Mexico; he has been writing some nasty notes to that country, it will be remembered. But the Minne- sotan did not want to be the author of any propaganda; to let the public know the state department was in | the propaganda business would be too bad. It was through Robert E. Olds, his assistant secretary of state, that he worked; but even Olds did not want to be quoted, mor have the state department given out as the author of the mess. ciations received telephone sentatives were told the government was “bolshevistic,” over, the Mexican “bolshevists” child does not know: they don't know won't every Well, hurt what them. FLUCTUATING ENGLISH AS IT'S WRIT { The New York day, in commenting upon the efforts | Times the other | sing department | to discover whether “is" or “are” were the proper verbs to go with the | noun, quoted some bigwig who once | said that English is a “grammarless | language.' This remark may not have been | but up meant literally, there is much evidence to the assertion. There is a flux about the that is as marked as the tides along | and the fine | school do not coast, points | learned at alway stick in practical composition or common speec The warning about split infinitives | | in the text books, if a hazy memary | definite. But splittir 1s not cheating us, are od write them so rs are consistently and so effectively that one of them said recently not to do | experts disagree about s we'll split them when | we feel like it. Then there is the question of man- cars first dawned upon the horizon | re was a rule made upon a lead- | that ing news the words | “motor” paper ito" nd | be by the addition of “ed.” Algo, it \\usl stated In the “style book” that there | Iy w uto,” | but that and were not were not to turned into verhs | no such thing as the word was “automo- bile,” and the full word would to be used in the paper's chaste columns. The get adlines Vain was the writers , however, coul th used head-line “automobile” in And “autoed” very and the restricted | term. goon “motor and became as common as the machines themselves. And of course, | ward the campaign ation to publish the other | were extending throughout Central this of course holding of the some such reasoning. The gentlemen of the wanted to do some quoting, Olds firmly recoiled from any such pr method. story should be tacked about the situation in Nicaragua and way | were treated to the state department | propaganda without the department acnally sponsoring the allegations. not true. The propaganda was nguage | . BUAEC | mhore was no reason whatever why such a story should emanate from the state department. It is not the | business of the state department {o engage in propaganda. The fact that | the state department insisted that it did no wish to be quoted or be quoted as sponsoring any such ideas any | indireetly indicates to that Kel- logg and Olds knew they were en- .2 except reasonable mind Messrs, 1€ in doubtful tactics. A week after this trial balloon was sent up, when It was thought sut | ficient anger had been engendered in the public mind to justify action, Se of his protesting notes to Mexico. But the press Is now rather cold to- and is showing an incli side. HOW TOURISTS ABROAD GET STUNG nocent purchase finesse of buying a and directing the cessive abroad town address. manner? Then perhaps you ha yet taken that trip abroad. In the meantime you can get a good laugl the stance being hereby given: out of system, a concrete these forms ultimatel flected in Some » big dictionaries. de however, in spite of nouns are not into dily of doin there Some spuce. For 1instance, is the sage."” writers word “me and speakers will write or say they aged” a person, but t i \sting 16 ma- ave it him a W valuable most impressive fly newcomer n in the prints reces has heen lonog y of oil itomobile tanks, It is a perfe i word, too, but very frequently | Ivertising men few mor Noth- | galaxy of matically som s unab lually d. Some pidly, too. day of words, som: iar press r it violates th ruies of the puris And this lu- 50 to save | ng to the capa- | home in S Ay eith of the United g Sta vase in Paris la The woman n tes June, of the heights of shopkeeper shop the martre could sy upon the buyer was convinced ho under- stood that the vase was to be packe and shipped to the address given | nim. | mr | tional francs for packing and mail shopkecper asked for 15 addi | ing, which was paid. The young woman eitizen arriv francs, ptember. e purchased for 49 or $1.6 awaited her, She wrote to | There was no anewer, She wrote tc the American embassy. Some more ks elapsed n came a note from u N York concern, labeling itselt “Cus toms Brokers and Agents wa bill enclose $1 foreign clir ling for d ges, $1 for $1.25 for appralser’s stores, v appraisement entry, tots he young Was it ¢ woman thirsied for in Did al in the nation. ver thus? s made abroad land { “customs brokers and ge: srwarders wrote back, The “answered that the vase was signed to him by a forwarding mpany ris with which mosf wis placed | thei as they did not understan export requirements, sorry that t four times it purcha then it was a much trouble to clear a5 a4 $2000 one, and that was that So it was that three press asso- | calls frong Olds to call and their repre- Meslcan al- though it could not be proved; more- propaganda America, and was a menace to the Panama Canal, or but inally it was decided that| on to one 1l America generally. To this the entire press of the nation tary Kellogg sent another one | Of the many ways to bunk an in- few possess the ex- | Bift | obliging | merchant to forward it to the home Maybe you never got stung in this ve not in- | | bought a jade green pottery | Thea Mont- Ik no English, but Porwarding a §¢ package ell, so it was! The jade vase is still there in New York. But the story isn't quite ended. Eventually there came a letter from the American embassy giving the full history of the case. There seem to be two morals to this tale. One is that when you buy things abroad, you don’t really know what you're paying for them. The other is that the American embassy will watch over American citizens, from missing jade vases to what have you. et L ——President Coolldge does not mind where these chilly December winds blow his hat so long as it stays in the ring. Factsand Fancies BY ROBERT QUILLEN By Robert Quillen As to the value of fame, who re- members the six best sellers of last A good time to break off athletic relations gracefully is before you are licked. One reason why the y | once lasted for a couple of years was | because the bride had clothes enough to last that long. i “The Old Folks at Home,” is a good song, but shows little knowl- Send all communications to Fun | | Shop Editor, care of the New | Britain Herald, and your letter will be forwarded to New York. B Tell Tale.Traces, Folks! We don't need any calendar to tell us winter's due, We only have to look about, observe a sign or two, That the beauty queen an apple picking season has slipped past, And ‘that leaves and channel swim- mers, Folks, are disappearing fast! Raining “He was the raining mon- afch of the Greeks.” IS AND REVERSES The Master Test intellect is very keen And far above the mob; To read time tables is for me A very simple jol VERS My I'm sure the world will recognize | A master mind in me If 1 can learn to fold the things | edge of the old folks' whereabout | 1t the dead can come back and some of the hideous bronzes erected to them? People who say the turkey was " [ unknown to the ancients should have tried to chew the one we had. Don't blame the man who wildly | applauds the chorus. Tt may be that bootleg enables him to enjoy other legs The easy way to discover the most prolific of indigestion. You can’t tell much. by visiting married couple just two days. Any | body can postpone a quarrel long. America has nothing like a self- 3 ting monarchy, except t of foothall become a stars Funny world: It hires instructors to teach other things, but thinks | youngsters will just absorb knowl- edge of how to be gentlemen. A hick town s a place where you | can’t walk two blocks without ha ing to lift your hat seventeen tin The thepry back of poisening in- | dustrial alcohol seems to be that th | leycorn is to kill his follower: there is hard- | s your individ length of your machine age to expre ality except hy the cigarette holder. suppose girls do { because they think it | anybody suppose boys more noble motive? | 5 One reason why move to cities is becanse there body in the old home town they can snub without sceming ridiculous, noke art, have just Do any | wen, ST the new-rich | use of conditions is that people say “Poor fellow!” when a man “borrows” company funds to play the stock market and loses, Another ¢ Alas! If you leave her enough money to enable her to get along without another hushand, she'll he 80 attractive she'll have to remain single “e a made college “but he college Correct this sentenee: reat success without cducation,” the man doesn’t - pretend to scorn graduate (Protected by Publishers §: e | | yndicate) 125 Y e;arisfi Ag;o ioday 0 last ' tuble were nnual banquet of Center church night. At the W. €. Hunger Dr. Hall, and ex-Mayor Webster, superinten- ) dent of the Sunday school, " after-dinner program with & highly applat ber by Latbin. -| " George P. Spear spent hours in the water department ye day., Chairman Hall zan explained to Mr, Sj 1 manner in which the < onnts are kept Ihe showing of mot the Passion Play at night proved such an attr Manager Howard is arra turn engagement next mor The state fire marshal n cal Fire Marshal Andrew today that as a result of his inv {igations into the fires in the Willow seetion recently wing ill be held and several formally summoned. The 1/ made to give detailed accou fires and tell he © m *| they had on the burned | "I The Insurance companics holding peyment temporar leetman Prior of Plainyil {ferred with railroad official regarding the elimination of nuisances. He 1| walk from Main strect to (i widening of th witeh tracks, wider cro | gates at East Main |continuance of unnecessar Rt tne n alectric P the was opened d piano num- 1 couple of | v the ntment's on pictures of Casino last ction that o will be asked for st street, and dis- “customs | |erossing. time that the v inadequate Main stre v asked that A ' nerme iete 1] gistered morning. . MeMillnn HL . Dimock Y. M. C. A. debat H. Bassett and B ed WE I by demonsirati teen should b st t s 5 in move tables, why don’t they tip over | popular foods is to list those most | that | coaches. | next best thing to killing John Bar- | no chance | The | nd - Clerk idents | The way they used to he! —D. A. Gardner The Difference | My ma she powders up her face Until it's red and white, | And puts some stuff upon her hair | That makes it awful light, | And when somo fellow fresh as paint | | Calls her a “chicken” GF ‘Shl' giggles and she rolls her eyes | | As pleased as she can be. | 3y pa is valder than an egs | And gettin' dreadful stout For hours and hours on pol | He loves to sit and spout. | { But wlien a man the other day | | Called him a “rooster” MY! You should have seen him | right in | And make the f pitch | | athers fl | Minna Irving How It Was “I want to get | | Bassengers oft here.” Conductor | don't stop.” Passengor: Conductor, | yonr ca “Soery ma'am, but we 3ut {t's my corne Maybe so, but it ain't | | —TLeonard Bessman | aring that a country church - was praying for more light 1 power, a wealthy farmer bought | a farm lighting plant and presented it to the church! minist THE ADVENTURES OF ONYX AND FLORIAN By Paul 8. Powers TFlorian: Roy, dis am de mc ten buckskins what we evah 1 Spendin’ a night in de graveyahd am | casy! Won't we blow dat money in | de mornin’ though! Haw! Haw! — | HUH? | | Onyx: Ah don't like de way dat| oozed away! Did Surely you ain't v ob you omethin | ana will lop off a few more heads. ain't nothin’ T'ain't nothin’ in dem bush Tlovian: ON, no. Tt to be frighticated but an ole skillet | ovan there. Onyx: A skillet? Den shakin’ foh? A skillet {to be scared at! Why | hen vegetables in a morr | Florian: Not in onc ) skillets we don't ferent kind of skillet bones without any ‘em. Onyx: Doy, you nfeans a skilleton! | Wow-where am it? | Tloviun: Run right ovah dere to de right an’ youw'll see it. | | Onyx: Uh, huh! Which way am | {left? Ah runs left handed an .\l\i | runs rapid! Fact is, Ah'm what illet ebery | | of dese kind | Dis am a dif- 1t consists ob upholsterin’ on runnin’ now! Feet, am you dere ar am you | runnin’ so fast Ah can’t see you? Florian: Oooh! Somethin’ white {am follerin’ us! | Onyx: Dat am mah under. wear. Ah done run right out ob 'em. | Let's stop an’ rest— ah has a hot- box on mah left toe. Florian: Dat’s a good idea {rubber®heels neced pumpin’ | what's dat? Voice: T am the bones of William | ake! | On we am de hones ob Onyx an’ i, an' ef you want to gallopin’ bones—jus’ look us ovah! | Just h up— | | Th, huh, mistah ghost! An | Flor- seo somo | | | O+ DUSTY'! YUW LOOK SO SWEET WATH YOUR | FACE ALL CLEAN | | GOULD KISS YUH! | | | member | chairman of the | as she | other day after I had finally learned | cluteh dingus or whatever it is you | | THING | EMERGENCY | didn’t hit a thing besides the 1 | of | know | hand and then | periencég driver lik | | was asleep and that I was dreaming, | | —THE OBSERVER— Makes Random Observations On the City and Its People was very sorry he didn't know he was in front of me or he would have started holding out his hand two miles before he stopped. Wasn't that sweet of him and I could see he was awfully sorry about it so I didn't have him arrested. “I've met the CUTEST people since I got the car and one man that I nearly knocked down had the cut- est little mustache and when he Tinally | talked fast it went up and down like | an elevator and I got to GIGGLING abou it so that I could hardiy STOP. And there was a njce little policeman that waved at e but I really think these policemen should keep in their place and not go flirting with girls when they should be out catching burglars and things. “That scratch on the fender? Well that was all the other man’s FAULT because I was trying to pass him before he made a left turn and I would have done it if he hadn't been perfectly SILLY and turned out right INTO me without | doing anything more than sticking out his old hand. I had to laugh | though because it was really his fault and he got the worst of it be- cause he broke his front wheel and absolutely RUINED the fender and all I got was a little scratch. He After hesitating and ~ vacillating until they almost had the heebie | Jeebies, Billy Judd’s machine show- | ad its teeth this week and began to lop off heads in the department of public works. Plans had been made weeks ago to find places for friends of certain commissioners and other politicians who would like to work for the city. The axe was sharpened but the powers-that- bo hesifated to swing it. they shut_ their eyes, filled their tungs, got Wp their spunk and off came two heads. Joe Ryan, fore- man in charge of the public works storeyard, and Robert Johnson, an inspector, were dismissed without cause. ® Chairman Towers of the public works commission admitted at a meeting this week that Ryan was | an efficlent workman and no fault had been found with his services. He didn’t have to tell this to Ryan's friends, who know him as a con- sclencious worker and a man who always gives satisfaction. His dis- missal was too strong for Tom Growe of the board and he demand- cd to know of Chairman Towers why the city engineer hadn’t been consulted. Chairman Towers gazed ound the room, noted the presence of reporters, and gave the sign to Shhhhb," adding that he would explain later. So he did. But Crowe is not satisfied with the explana- tion, it is reported. The nest news from tha depart- ment was that Bob Johnson had been given a blue ticket. Johnson is active in fourth ward politi#, has ! said he'd been to see him and he wasn't mad only about one hundred dollar’s worth, “The only thing about driving is that I've simply GOT to remember | to put GAS in the car because the | other day I took Jerry out for a held office in the Swedish repub- |ride and T ran out of gas and he lican club and was at one time & had to walk about cight miles .or of the republican town |some and I guess he didn't like it committee. The fourth ward, it will | much because I haven't seen him be remembered, showed unusual |since but I think it was SILLY of apathy on election day following re- [him to get MAD about a little ports that a fraction did not fall|thing like that. in with Judd's ideas of conducting | “I've only been a a city government. According to | and t was for parking in front gossip in political circles, the be- | of a little old hydrant that they heading of Johnson was in the na- { must think is awfully VALUAB ture of punishment for the fourth |or something because they won't let ward anti-machine faction. Tt| ANYBODY park in front of it. I caused more of a storm even than | didn’t even TOUCH the old thin Apparently, Judd and | ang it cost me FIVE DOLLAR his erowd have heard the rumblings | just to park there. I told the judg of thunder from the fourth because | I thought it was AWFEFUL d he it is now declared, in an effort 10 | asked me W would happen in smooth over the situation, that | case of a FIRE and I said that they Johnson will be given could look me up and I would move job in the spring if he wants it. [{ho car for mem but I didn't see amusing to hear the names | any neod of getting MAD about it who are being mentioned | 4nd charging me FIVE DOLLAR neies ereated by the ma- | The other time I ran past a RED a personage than Con- | L IGHT and the policeman asked alderman and present | me it T was color blind or what re commission, i8 |ang I said I didn’t think there wero t on the | sny policemen around at that time of night and he said well now 1 knew there was and I had better s o the judge to find out what his office hours were and he would give me a free seat in the court room &0 that T could get the LOW DOWN on it. He said it so funny I just had ¢ not vet faded | (o GIGGLI and he got LAUGHING Mills has good back- | and he could hardly write out the ing—he is the father-in-law of |y Chairman Towers and enjoys the triendship of other members of the party who contribute liberally to- ward campaign chests and, there fere, claims to have so The public works commi Told another meeting mnext ted TWICE Ryan's en thos for chine. No nie Dehm, gaid to Dhe anxious to ¢ city payroll. 1lis pay would be $32 a week, or probably a littie more. It is also reported that J. Willie il former prohibition enforce- ment officer, would like one of the | vacancies but the machine hesitates of certain events from memory. 1l T must dash along bec supposed to be in court at 1d it's nearly NOON don’t think it's best to judges waiting T wa ine o'clock now and 1 keep these long.” pridc cor itsell on Britain can £ butions to worth while New "4 | many is expected. It is not clain n who are in danger of b wre inefficient but ommissioners have friends who v for city jobs. Altogeth- 1, the board plans to ancles. it that m discharged other ns proud here. But the ntial is lacking cvident each day, is a recreation and its il 1gs, theaters which go to mak to claim residence fact that one is becoming morc | and that ntial sweetheart, | hall. s we were | There is some social activity near- the |1y every night but it is impossibl ghtest break in tr s was | o accommodate all who wish to at- driving a new car with several | tend because of the lack of a hall seratehes along the fenders and a |large enough to hold a great many dented hood but she was still game. Her conversation rippled out at us stopped the motor. “MY DEAR. 1 bet you were sur- prised to see me driving my own car weren't you? I just got it the everybody's rolled up side of v waiting to cross the Hilda, people. In s | no matter how small th it is possible in nearly every case to find an auditorium large enough to accommodate the populace. They are equipped with good dancing floors, ample floor space as well as g08 1d dressing. vooms. There » rest rooms, in fact, everything should go with a well con- ainment. rrounding towns and cities, population, how to drive a car and I am just WILD over the idea, I mean I never kinew what a lot of fun driving wus until T began driving my own car. “Poppa got mae this car last \\u!\“ and the agency sent the cutest little | man out to teach me how to drive | {o” attend an entertainment or and we had lots of fun and he Was | qance, he or she must arrive at the the cutest thing except when he ot | yqy) at Jeast an hour ahead of time mad when I forgot 4o push in the | is qamission 1s desired, At that, it is usually so crowded that the danc- ing becomes a sort of foothall game wh couple trying to find enough to dance. In some pliaces there are not even dressing rooms and the pat are forced 1o leave their coat hats any where there may be a vacant cha spent twenty minutes one fime try-{op pije them in a bunch in som ng to start the car without the j.opper, ana usually the corners or INITION turned on and then I it e, Akt Ahilen thab: the hout ten miles with the | oat is anything but aftractive when BRAKE on and Ifihe time comes to go home. 1f a had to laugh of thinking of Ariving | giy wears an expensive coat and with the BRAKE on. Wasn't that | ;¢ ghe does not care to wipe the a HOWL? Butat that T did pretty | goor with them nor does she wish good with only seven ¢ | to crush them up into & small space. | Also, girls who 2 hout HIS | sueh matters, do not care be FAULT really because he should | oh1igeq to powder or rouge in front better than to stick out his|op an andience, Tt is not considor- TOP with an inex-{.q tha proper thing to do but it v it there Is no other p and he sald he | g o it, for as the dear ladies know, ___|powder and rouge are essential to keep up appearanc Thero is one re der construction at but whether or not the problem remair whic ducted place of ent In New Britain if a party wishes push in and then he would get all | red in the face and swear AWFUL- | ijy LY, but as soon as I began to ¢ tch on we got afong all right except a couple of times. At firdt I didn’t know the FIT about driving a car and I a stone truck and it was me behind him | | eocsen, ind 1 told him s ation hall un- present time this will solve s to be seen, T dreamed the other night that T | am that T drcamed T was | wn and the dr dreaming was a dre hat T was and dreaming. Suddenly 1| woke up. question now ig, am Il The asleep 1 dreaming that T dreamed | motorists I dreamed I woke up, where am | ginni {12 cach morning and those which are Mae Raiskes [able to make headway ed liko asleep annual losing battle of gainst the winter is be or Stalled cars line the roads pro Dusty B No Wonder 4 Manager: “The flame- says he can’'t work today Shoy “What's Show wner of the bl “Scared gas on his stomach Hilda Willlamson 1 Hifle Show DREAM ON! DREAM ON! Dreams Interpreted Froe By Prof, L C. Itt steam caps. | Dear Mae: T [4s to pinch you customary method [locomotives with spouting [ it. Don't trouble | from the radiator You may however, as dhe first cop who sees |try to avoid the effects of the win- you will probably pinch you anyhow. | try hla well, just try! | You go down to the think cheerfully ahout quality of the weather. You climb into the old bus and t mentally over the poor pedestrians who must walk the cold ke and freeze their fect, And then ®% starter causes only a reluctant glurg. You \ttempt to pull out the choke, and it is stuck, giving way only to brut | toree which threatens to pull tire engine into the front t e starter again and the snappy garage Dear Professor I dreamed last Tug T was sitting on an ol when 1 went to the found that T had horns and was a llarge tooth growing out of my waist- What does this mean? B. T. Nic About it that + fan and mirror 1 I line hols Dear Sir: You ar to be come an Bk (Copyright 1®6. R Forbidden) production wasn't mad though because Poppa | {he idustrial world, has fine build- | things | Switter revolu- | tions this time, and finally the en. gine starts. An instant of satisfac- tion, followed by dismay as a series of wheezes precedes the stopping of the motor once more. It does not start again. You get out the crank and go to work, avoiding broken bones by frightened and cautious manipula- tion but finally throwing your arm out and being forced to go back to the starter. Again a short sputter and another gasp. There must be something wrong in the fuel sys- tem, Off with the coat and into the hood. - With rapidly dirtying hands you unscrew the bottom of the car- buretor and find it filled solidly with ice. You poke, scrape, and burn this off and think you are all Bet. The motor starts well and you let it Tun a few minutes to heat it up. Then you suddenly notice the mercury in the moto-meter sky- rocketing up and you know that the radiator is frozen. A blanket s placed over.the front and you idle the motor until it thaws out. You go into gear, after | fighting the hal-frozen transmission grefSe. Ana the engine stops with a jar. What is it this time? It starts all right but stops as soon as the clutch is in. After monkey- ing with various unfamiliar parts of the engine, you finally have a bril- liant iden and realize that your brake bands have frozen. A wild lurching start breaks the fey coat- ing and you go out of the garage so successfully that you rip off a door which you forgot to close. You disgustedly slam the door nto the rear seat and go up to the house to wash off. And when you return you find the ice has once more clogged the carburetor, You're going to force it through this | time and keep pounding the starter until finally it penetrates to your | brain that you are going to have to | cover yourself with oil again. Yon | do so with a sigh, and then satisty [ yourself that no ether tyguble will repeat itself. | Confidently at last, you slide into | thy seat and press the starter. But | the continuous draining of its power has knocked the battery deader than mah jongg and starting is now im- | possible. You got out and fling the remaining door shut with a slam | which shivers the glass into a thou- sand picces, telephone profanely to | the service station, and consign | yourselt to the trolleys apd busses | for a few days. The brighter side of this lies not in the money made by the repair men but in the joy which is brought | to pedestrians and seems fo prove to them that there is a Santa Claus. | For once they held the upper hand. | It they are at all given to “getting | even,” they walk in and out, through | the lines of frozen cars, charge mad- | ly down upon each one, and ruin | the finish with a well-placed kick. GOLFING STARS ON THEIR WAY WEST Will Take Part in Malches This Winter San Franeisco, Dec. 4 () — The | vanguard of the golfing clan, num- {bering In its ranks some of the | nation’s foremost stars, is beginning | to head toward the Pacific Coast where a series of open and amateur | tournaments are scheduled for this nter. Five events in California, with an gregate purse value of $22,500, |are the magnets attracting ths | golfers, They begin with the Mon- | terey Peninsular $5,000 open cham- | pionship. December 10, 11 and 12, | 1t will be played over the pictur- |'esque Pebble Beach links at Del | Monte, scene of most of the state | amateur championships. | Los Angeles Open $10,000 | From Del Monte, the club singles | will move on to Sacramento, whers |a $2,5000 event is scheduled for De- | cember 17 and 19, Fresno, and an- other $2,500 purse, follows on Des | cember 24 to 26. ‘The first and second days of 1927 will the golfers competing at | Long Beach in another $2,500 affair. Officials of the Los Angeles $10,- 000 en, anuary 5 to 9, are pre- paring to accommodate an unusually large entry list, Harry Cooper, formerly of Texas, who stroked him- sclf to top place last year, will de= fend his title. Included in the number of golfer who have signed or signified inten- tion to be on hand when the first contestants tee off at Del Monte are: Gene Sarazen, Mike Brady, Joe Kirkwood, Bobby Cruickshank, Bill Melhorn, Tom Kerrigan, Leo Dieg- . MacDonald Smith, John Black, Wichita Kansas, and Larry Nabholta of Cleveland. George Von Elm of Los Angeles, national amateur champion, will be the outstanding contender among the “simon-pures.” Another s George Aulback of Ar- lington Ieights, Mass, a former municipal links title holder, Completion of the coast events will sea the players head toward San Antonio, Texas, and the western | swing will end at Mot Springs, Arke where a $700 open event s sched« uled for February. Observation | On The Weather Washington, Dec. 4.—Torecast for Southern New England: Cloudy, possibly light rain Saturday; colder at night; Sunday increasing cloudi- recast for Eastern New York: Cloudy with snow in north and pos- sibly light rain in south portion | satur colder at night; Sunday ng cloudiness. The northeastern dis- turbance is contral east of Ne: foundland with ine intensity, The outlook fs for considerable cloudiness Saturday and Sunday in the states east of the Mississippl | viver with light rains on Saturday in the north Atlantie states, It will be colder Saturday night in the | north Atlantic states. | - - All matches in Tarkey are to b made by a Belgian company which eventually will turn the factories over to the Turkish government. a