Lakeland Evening Telegram Newspaper, May 5, 1914, Page 6

} oo B G T B (AR AL LR L it La LR S SR R iy SHPEFPPPIPPPEPEFEEEPEEED N & C.A.Jones C.'T. Clark} <CRAFTSMAN REPAIR SHOP: | % Graduate NURSE and MASSEUS! 4 SEe |2 . Repairing ¥ % Body, Facial and Scalp, %1% and Swedish Vibratory ‘ 5 % O Al of all kinds, autos, engines$|s Massage Treatment : SRS %% given at private homes. # guns, bicycles. Refinish= ing our specialty, old #furniture made new, All Electric vibratory and neces-fi: sary appliances supplied. & Agent for Swedish Electric & § : b Vibrator. 4 classes of cabinet work., &% : ® 3 @ | % Telephone 228 Red. s terms reasonable, 206 Fast Oak. & 401 West Main StPhone 57 Blalk® FEFDESIDBEHIDIBEIIIIET DD CHPPPEPIPEIDDEIDIPEIIDEEDD S R R, S TR, f you want your Shirts and Collars Laundered the VERY BEST Send them to the Lakelanad Steam Laundry Weare better equipped than ever for giving you high class Laundry work. Phone 130 A thousang might be wrong—but not five hundreq thousand. More than a half million buyers have picked the Ford because of its serviceability, its low cost of upkeep. The TFord has made good. Five hundreq dollars i s the price of the Ford runabout; the touring car is fifty-five; the town car seven fifty—f. 0. b. Detroit, complete with equipment. Get catalog and particulars thom i DR ; pd N =y Lakeland Automobile & Supply Co. Lakeland, Fla, “ Summer Days Amn exchange library. 1A full line of periodicals. The best of the newest “The Harvester,” and other popular books at 50 cents, % The Book Store BENFORD & STEITZ AP BEEBBESDEE D EDHETDEED SPDDIIDEDEG bbb bo b0 Having had many years’ experience in all kinds of cement ana brick work, I respectfully solicit part of the paving that is to be done in Lakeland. All work GUARANTEED ONE YEAR As an evidence of geod faith I will allow the property owner to retain 10 per cent of the amount of their bill for that time, pro- ¢ giding they will agTus t¢ pay the vetainer with 8 por esni mer an- num at the a0d @ ho gUOASHtes Ruln; 4 e wek ehous 30 in- Rriies folu SN by Swlective DSters! ¢ WoTSmanTRID. D. CROCKETT Box 451 Res., 501 North Iowa Avenue. o B G g BB ™ ®. O. Address, ppdd PRl AT FEPRPEFEEBOBIE SEEDEPEIHEEEPITSEEPEED Will Sacrifice For Cash Ten acres truck land, one lot near school house; also 1 new six room house one acre of land. MANN PLUMBING CO. PHONE 257, PINE ST. TERS BPBGOL DR PP S oo o Bpfr o o %Miss W.C.Williams% E H @ | MAVVRANAAARRAAVANAAAANA IS FOOTBALL STORY By HAYDEN CARRUTH. Our rules were few, though they started out boldly enough under the head of “Constitution and By-laws of the Corncob Club,” and began and ended as follows: Section First, Article First—It shall be the duty of each member through- out every session to emoke & cob pipe with due diligence. ¢ “Section First, Article Second— Members who do not smoke shall not be required to smoke.” The parson was the only member who profited by article second, and the doctor used to charge him with quietly electioneering to have it re- pealed, so that he might return to his former bad practises, but thls was a slander on the good man. Not being burdened with a cob™pipe in a constant state of conflagratior the parson was left with more time for conversational efforts. We suepected he sometimes took advantage of our nicotinized condition to folst tales upon us contalning a emaller percent: age of truth than the state board of story inspectors would have counte- nanced; but of this there was no direct proof. The parson certainly always had a most truthful and benign aspect, and never more so than one evening, when, the talk turning on football, he leaned forward and said: “Do you fellows happen to know that I used to take part in football games?” “In your clerical capacity, to carry consolation to the mortally wounded, 1 suppose,” returned the judge. “No, no,” answered the parson, “as a player. 1 was on our college team for three seasons.” “You should have gone into the army instead of the ministry,” commented the major. “You are jealous of football,” re- sumed the parson. “After all, it Is a As Soon as a Player Was Incapable of Movement He Was Carried Away. rather mild pastime as commonly played. This recent suggestion fhat the players be armed with bayonets may make it more strenuous, if it is carried out, which seems Improbable. ‘What 1 was golng to tell you about was a game that I once took part in when I was on our varsity eleven, which I firmly believe to be the most remarkable game ever played. It was a fast and exciting game from the first, and on the whole there was some pretty rough play, but that is not what I refer to when I say it was the most extraordinary game of football ever witnessed since football was invented.” “Well, out with {t—what made your game such a rare bird?” asked the doctor, “In good time,” returned the parson with a touch of complacency. “Of course I really can’t say that it was a unique game—I strongly suspect that the same thing happens rather fre- quently in the game, but it isn't de- tected. When a thing isn’t discovered it's just the same as if it didn’t happen in one sense, you kaow. Well this game that I'm talking about was be- tween Tamerlane college, where I was a student, and the Attila university players. There has always been, and is yet, as you know, a strong feeling of rivalry between these two seats of learning. It happened not so many months before that Attila had carried off the honors in rowing, while Tamer- lane had won at baseball; so we foot- ball players felt, as I may say, that it was up to us. That's the right expres- sion, is it not? “Don't try to appear innocent—I heard you use it in a sermon the other day,” said the judge. “That 1s a base slander,” returned the parson. “Besides, you haven't been to church for three months, so that if I had used it you wouldn't have heard it. Well, the game was fast right from the start. We went at each other and fought like a wildeat in a tin oven—as some Boston author said. The local authorities had been warned, and made provisions for it by keep- ing their policemen away from the | grounds so they wouldn’t get hurt, and sending all the doctors, surgeons, | nurses, ambulances ¢ e vi- - : es and r allevi- | Stop the Breeding With DR. BELL'S ating and repairing ap us to the | . . fleld early. The combat wase something | An*lseptlc Salve terrific, but through it all these fear- | | less workers for the good of humanity (I include the ambulances) moved about and carried relief to the strick- , MAY 5, 1914. en. As soon as a player was incapable of movement he was carried away on a stretcher and a substitute took his place. A well-equipped field hospital had been established under the grand stand, where restoratives were admin- istered and minor operations per- formed. A line of fast ambulances hurried the more seriously injured to the city hospitals. “As the game progressed its fury in- creased. Players, integral and frac- tional, were flying in the alr every- where, The umpire and referee retired to a safe distance and conveyed their instructions through giant mega- phones. The spectators stood the grand stand and fairly howled, though little of the strife wae visible to them owing to the fog of torn clothes and uprooted soil which hung over the scene, not to mention players, or parts of players, which ever and anon were thrown up from the seething mael- gtrom below. Once a flying Tamerlane player, hurled through the air by two Attilas, struck a Red Cross nurse and bore him down, but he was dragged from the fleld by a brother worker. Again, an Attila player was tossed 1o the top of the grand stand, where hé clung to the ridge pole and yelled for his side, while a substitute rushed to take his place, The combat deepens! Now it is impossible to—" “See here, parson,” Qroke in the ma- jor, rather firmly, “you're getting too | excited. Calm down—you'll be tack- ling us and throwing us out the win- dow the next thing you know. Besides you are telling us of nothing but a simple, ordinary game of football, after all. Where's the extraordinarily unique uniqueness you boasted about?” “You may interrupt me if you choose, but you shan’t stop me,” sald the parson, with a trace of indignation. “See, the combat deepens! It—well, no matter. It was a wonderful game. And here is what made it unique so far as known. players felt that something was lack- ing—that something, somewhere, was wrong. Afterwards we learned tha¥ the spectators had the same feeling. But no one on the gridiron or in the grand stand could say what it was. At last the game ended. All had been re- moved except the two captains, I was one of them. We lay stretched on the plain near the middle of the field, of course, unable to rise. We heard the ambulance coming to bear us away, the captain of the Attilas raised his head with difficulty and whispered hoarsely: “‘Hello, wasnt't it?' “*Wonderful,’ I replied. waa something lacking.' “‘] had that feeling all the time too, but I can’t make out what it was.’ “‘Nelther can I’ was my answer, ‘But there was something wrong just the same.’ “‘You're right—something wrong. Hold on—I've got {t! We didn’t have a ball’ “And it was a fact, and this is what rendered the game so remarkable, though, as I sald before—" “Parson,” interrupted the judge sol- enmly, “will you do us a favor?” “Certalnly.” “Never mind about what you sald before.” (Copyright, 1914, by Dally Story Pub. Co.) old man, great game, ‘Still, there Present Engagement Being Off, Young Lady Announced Herself as Ready for the Next out a ring and brusquely queried: “What's it worth?” “Very little,” he answered after a brief glance. “Do you call it a dlamond?” “No; it's not a dlamond?” “Didn't cost $500, did {t?” “Oh, no.” “About 75 cents, eh?” “That would be nearer its value, I think. 1 hope you didn’t buy that for a diamend ring?” “No, I didn't. My feller gave it to me for an engagement ring,” “I see,” sald the clerk, as he turned his head away to smile, “Sald 1t was a $500 proof of his love.” “Yes “I've been a little suspicious all along, but didn’t want to raise a row. Only glass, eh? Seventy-five cents buys 'em anywhere? Well, the en- gagement ig off, the feller has got the the cold throw-down, and I'm ready for the next! See?’—Washington Herald, A Poser. “What is the Latin word for pota- to?" asked the village trustee, “Why,” sald the would-be school teacher, “potatoes were brought from Virginia by Sir Walter—" “Answer my question if you can!” said the trustee sharply; “and it you can't, say so!” And he subsequently told everybody in the village how he “stuck him.'— Puck. One Lone Germ Breeds Millions A sore or cut lets the erms under the skin. 1t stags the breedin 1 it once. Tt ke 1 other germs. ) eps away all heals as sure as | prevent hundreds (2.2 2 9 % © © ¥ For sale by Henley & Henley, All the way through we | CHANCE FOR THE RIGHT MAN, She had entered a Third avenue jews | & elry store with a typical Bowery galit, k: and walking up to a clerk, she handed SORES, BURNS, SCALDS, BRUISESs CHAPPED HANDS AND LIPS, TETTER, ZEMA? i h to ou really want to hes! it? Bad enoug! Rpoer?d 2¢.? ’Then go v the store and buy & box of DR. BELL'S Antisepiic Salve snow white and snow pure—and if it tl'l'o:'m‘l do the work, -t your money hack. “Tell It By The Bell” For sale by Henley & Henley. FEPEIBIB IR e np 2 THE SONG SHOP 2 909 Franklin Street. STAMPA FLORIDA SHEET MUSIC % MUSICAL SUPPLIES & Mail Orders our Specealty SEEGDEIIPIEPPDIIILFIEIIEE LW.YARNELL Successor to W. K. MoRae, TRANSFER LINES Draying and Hauling of All Kind Prompt and Reazonable 8erviee Household Moving s Specialty Phones: Residence, 57 Green Office, 109 g fe e Contractor Brgrego g SoeEEn g Bl Phone 169 S BEB PRSI DRI DI rd o fr o Gl Bl bl bR g b S bRl Goefoefoogrfrfoeofe Booofr B B FRANK H. THOMPSON, VICE New and up-to-date plant. Lakeland business left with our & oo BB bbb b R L R XL S SIS L R R J. B. STREATER % Security Abstract & Title Co. Bartow, ABSTRACTS OF TITLES Prompt service. ~ T EVENING TELEGRAM, LAKELAND, FLA. 5, ¥ .'f —————__——_——_—___—_——————'———/ —— § Res. P Just Receive; aIM(I | Red Crog Pharmag Cem v The Drug Stor, i prow on the corner also everything t, M foundin a ho he COMPLETE DRUG § ‘°A‘l‘] PHONE 89 ke and Builder Having haq twenty-one years’ experience in building and. tracting in Lakeland and vicinity, I feel competent to render s best service in this line, If contemplating building, will be ples to furnish estimates and all information, All work guarantesd, J. B. STREATERDL B (0] fc B ( a Florida ‘ R. B. HUFFAKER, PRES......L. J. CLYATT, SECRETAL PRESH. W. SMITH, TREASURE! d ' Vige President at City Hall vl receive prompt and efficient attention, DRBPPHIOIOSBDEPEPDPIPIPEIED GDIPRR R Bddd i bbbl R R e e | IRST NATIONAL BAN, that d money | Bank.’ % ; ; : : L3 0 B “Ihe Young Ma- or Woman oesn’t learn to save‘ will never succeed - It takes only a Dollar start an account in thist ’ KEEPS YOUR EES!-I 257 | [ | { [ HIS Swiftly-Sweepin cleans without raising d pins, lint, ravelings, etc. . makes sweeping 3 .\xmple‘ even the most difficule places of moving and lifting al§ hc:l\’;' The Great Labor Sav 3 can er rel ust, ll:v Pioneer of Ppe ymbination of the Pneym your h Write today for full part Combination Pneumatic Sweeper g, Easy in ONE OPERATION. task qunckl_y finished. It reaches and eliminates the necessity / r of the Home— om Broom dryd Ome at our expense? iculars 3 HOME = e ) -Running DUNTLEY Sweeper | and at the same time picks up Its ease . furni re. / niture, // / Every home, large or / gery and protection from S umatic Sweepers— atic Suction Nozzle and id absolutely guar- er, why not give