Lakeland Evening Telegram Newspaper, February 21, 1912, Page 4

. o i e PAGE FOUR The Evening Telegram|| Published every afternoon from the Kentucky Building, Lakeland, Fla. AHEAD OF THE DOCTOR. Ruminations of Uncle Henrv A man out West engaged a doctor to attend his sick wife, The medic had an eye for the main chance and asked the farmer if he had the money Dear Editer, for an operation. “Sure,” replied the | was interrested in readin Joshua's | rancher, “and I'll pay you $100 if you iletter. Some peple in my place would | cure her.” *I am not handling in- g S be jellus, but I haint built that way. surance as a side line,” said the doc- G TR AT B an 1 will say that Josh's spellin is for|tor, “and I do not take cases that B . EUTHINDRIN, M- all the worl{l like mine which is more| Way.” “Very well,” said the farmer, than I can say of most of the writin [ "'l pay you $100 if you cure her or I see. $100 if you kill her.” The doctor let Josh wants to know how I like the|it 80 at that. The woman died and It is fine. Some dissap- | the M. D. called for his fee. Tho - e — - Entered in the postoffice at Lake- Jund, Florida, as mail matter of the second class. A J. HOLWORTHY Business and Circulation Manager. gt B e s big meetin. SUBSCRIPTION RATES:r pi:lmonls nas ocurred but in ginerel, [ man pulled out his roll and asked, ON8 JORE o : 000 il ":"?o it has been like getting married. Ing“Did you kill her?” “Certainly not,” Six months ......... e 280 | e ways a woman, be she ever so|replied the doctor. “And there is a Three months ......... 128 will be a disappint-|heap of circumstantial evidence that good'a woman, = : ment, but in other ways she will be | You n't cure her,” says the farm- Mmits of the Clty of Labelend a blame sight better t)han you ever|er, carefully replacing his wad next for 10 conts & wesk, imagined, so that if you take it all to his femur, “therefore, according to === 1 all you wouldn’t have her chang- our agreement, | don’t owe you any- From the same office is issued thing."” THE LAKELAND NEWS a weekly newspaper giving a Te- sume of local matters, crop condi- tions, county affairs, ete, Sent anywhere for $1.00 per year. T s Delivered anywhere within the {¢d a mite after all. Now, Marthy has some falts, es- pashially she worries like Krebs says Heaven help the man who imag- not to do. We tryed goin ‘to hear|jyes he can dodge enemies by trying Missus Adams one moruiin before the fto please everybody! If such an indi- bed was made an it aint goin to be|yiqual ever succeeds pass him over done agin if [ have to make up thelthis way that we may have one look bed myself, It was my falt, for 1144 his mortal remains ere he van- perswaded her to go, an whenever|ishog away, for surely this earth can she had a chanct Marthy would say|not bhe his abiding place. Now we |lhin¥fl like these here, "ll:-m‘yf' SaY¥S{do not infer that one should be go- 1she, 1 could of made that hed in two ing through this world trying to find Lambright writes of some “eandi- mlullsnil’ you ‘luuln'l been in such alyaamg to knock and thump his head dute Who goes about wearing an as-|Lurry,” or “if you was to be 00K |yeuingt, disputing every man's word. ol k. of superiority.” That's a sick suddent an have to lnl»'lnuk }}omu e bad thing for a candidate to be clad f?""‘ ”l‘.“‘g ""'} ("‘lf"v ':‘l‘l"‘l';;)lk:’r‘wm’:":: miss the joys that it worse, even, than Mary Garden’s | SUPPOSC i Yo i ind | MIENE be ours by Kkeeping our eyes “air of indifference,” which the ol whe, e ' is th incipal fixed on those of other people. No SANANLY pper m_wl ‘: l““l.lr ":":m one can enjoy his own opportunities article of her wardrobe. ¢ forgive Mary for such light attire, Lt a candidate—never! Are you a good citizen? Prove it Ly patronizing the Chautauqua and paying your poll-tax. — Many of us drop in on us onexj that bed not made,” and so forth, bringin up that bed till I was plum disgusted. The wust worrier 1 ever see my brother Jeremiah's mother-in- law. Take it on one of these beau- titul spring days, ‘\\'huu the hart is in tune with the birds, an them sing- in fit to split there throates. Manny is the time, [ heerd old Missus Griggs that was her name, say, says she, “1 feel 0 cam an peacefull this more- i, | know somethin awfull is goin to happen, fer there is allers a cam before the storm.” I will have to close now an get reddy to go to the meeting, Marthy makes me ware a biled shirt every time, but I tell her its plum foolish- ress, a soft shirt bein more becomin to my stile of beauty. 1 hope Josh will write offen, so no . more at present from UNCLE HENRY. THE CLOCK WATCHER. \Vith one eye on his work and the other on the clock as its hands ap- proached quitting time, a clerk in the office of a Philadelphia contractor made an error in an estimate which n was another’s, the joy of living by not cheerfully ac- cepting the small pleasures that com» tto us every day. O et WE LOVE TO HAND THE STRANGER OUR COIN Why Old Myths Survive. The destroyers of fine myths tell us nowadays The Ocala Star, commenting on the proposition to the merchants of that place that they take a page advertise- ment in a paper published in a dis- tant city, gives utterance to the fol- lowing incontrovertible truths: “We all love to give the stranger our money. \We not only cough up cur cash for an ad. in a big city daily, which ad. nobody reads except the printers, the proof-readers and our own people, but we art good thing in other ways. We raise thousands of dollars for a college in another city while our own children are taught in a barn, almost any peripatetic evan- gelist can lope through the town and .corral more coin in a week than the ‘stay-at-home preacher can pry loose ‘from hie congregation in a month; its no job at all to raise a stack of scads to cure sore eyes in China, but its like drawing eye-teeth to obtain the funds to put our own hospital in a|Was not detected until a contract had deecnt building; we hand out hun-|been made involving the firm in a loss dreds, it not thousands, every year to|of $150,000. give to the heathen a gospel that they| The clock watching clerk gave as don't want, and ninety-nine and nine- | his excuse that he was only hall tenths per cent, of them won't have, paid. But results show that, though Lut our charitable organizations have |only half paid he was over-paid. One to scratch like an old hen with thir-[e¥e is not half as good as two eyes. teen chickens to obtain means for the |Half a mind is not as good as an fow cases of destitution in our com-|undivided mind. Half pay is too paratively prosperous city. 1t was|much for half a man. ever thus, since Helen eloped with It is not only the errors that cause Paris, and will probably be so until [direct disaster which count, but even Gabriel comes along turning over |more costly still in the long run are tombstones trying to find the man|the frequent little erros that call who ran on the republican ticket for for constant supervision of a mans governor of Florida in 1908." work. The listless worker wastes more than his own time; he wastes a lot of the more valuable time of the man above him who, in order to make good his deficiencies, has to keep 2 watchful eye on all his work. A careless, inefficient worker may actu- ally cause more work to others than he does himself. g Many an employe seems to be sat- isfied to stay just within the line of safety from discharge. He is in-|Prosecuting Attorney for Polk terested in nothing all day so much [county, and respectfully solicit the as in the clock at quitting time, He|vote and support of the reader and works not to get his work done right|every democratic voter at the pri- but to put in his time and get his|mary election, April 30. I promise pay. His work does not mean to him | that it elected, I will devote my time occupation of his service, but only |8nd energy to the duties of the of- his “job.” He is a mere job holder. |8ce in prosecutions for the State. He is not a worker but a shirker. Respectfully, On the other hand there are em- EPPES TUCKER, JR. ployes—hosts of them—to whom|™ FOR TAX COLLECTOR. their work means their best possible 1 hereby announce myself a candi- service, their fullest enthuisasm, their keenest joy, their highest life.|date for the office of Tax Collector of These are the bone, the brawn, the|Polk county, subject to the Demo- blood and the brain of all business. |cratic Primaries. 1t elected I prom- There is a sound aphorism: “If|ise to discharge all duties of the office you never do more than you are paid | faithfully and to the best of my for, you will never get paid for more | ability. than you do.”—Pensacola Journal. that the library of Alexandria, and therefore the books In it that agreed with the Koran were superfluous, and all that disagreed with the Koran we.e perni- clous. Doubtless the perennial fresh- ness and vitality of the tale are due to an everlasting normal human ha- tred of weed-grown, literary grave yards. A (Political announcements will be accepted and inserted in this column for one month or less for $5.00, or will be carried daily until date of election for $10.00. This fee MUST be paid in advance.) FOR STATE SENATOR. POLITICAL ANNOUNCEMENTS To the Democratic Voters of Polk County: 1 beg to announce my candidacy for the office of State Senator from this district, subject to the action of the Democratic primaries, the date of which will be #nnounced later. Respectfully, H. J. DRANE. FOR STATE SENATOR. To the Voters of Polk County: 1 hereby announce myself a candi- date for State Senator from Polk county. Having the will to serve the people’s best interests, 1 will use such ability as I possess in the ef- fort to do so, should they entrust me with this commission. I respectfully solicit the support of all the voters. JOHN F. COX. —_—— HOW TO REACH HIM. Ft. Meade lLeader: Last week weo received a card from a postmaster. notifying us that the party to whom we had been sending this paper was dead and adding these words: “Send somewhere else.” As we have no di- rectory of either place, indirectly re- ferred to, we are at a loss to know how to peach this paid-in-advance subscriber.—Ex. . If he was a “paid-in-advance” why send the paper to Heaven, of course. If he was a delinquent, you would have to print on asbestos to reach his present address.—Miami Metropolis. —_—— The children whose horizon is a brick wall, who must play on cobble- stones and go swimming in the canal and be chased by the police, if they do not grow up to be ideal citizens, shall we of holier memories sit in judgment upon them? Shall we not remember the weight they carry in the race of life and be thankful we live in this beautiful country of ours. 'FOR PROSECUTING ATTORNEY. I am a candidate for the office of HENRY J. LEWIS. ———————e. ettt for happiness while he is envious of | We lose a great deal of | THE EVENING TELEGRAM LARELAND, FLA., FEBRUARY 21, 1912 dramatic | iy ced, Caliph Omar did not burn the anclent | cents for ladies and children and 25 did not have a chance to say that all |cents for WELL, WE DID IT! b ot 1 - e THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFE TiMe To Get A Vehicle At Your Own Price Having determined to -oncentrate my efforts on my Harness Busines. Kindred Lines, I will offer for a limited time in orcer To Close Out at Cost My Line of Buggies, Sur. ries, Phaetons, Wagons and Other Vehicles angd Everything on wheels will go unreservedly, and if you want a vehicle business or pleasure, now is your time. The Buggy and MCGLASHAN, 'S Peacock Building. Opposite Jail e e, ROV SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT HERRON THEATRE LAKELAND MONDAY. FEB. 26 | We demonstrated to the best |w0-' pie in Lakeland last night that we had a clean, moral and safe skating The Comical Musical (o vy BUSTER BROWN Forty people; twenty whistiing songs A score of sprightly and vivacion rink for ladies and gentlemen and children to visit. Come and be con- Admission free. Skates 15 gentlemen, Open after- noons and nights; Friday afternoon for ladies only, girls who are blessed with mmbe toes and wonderful voices. Prices: 50c, 75¢, $1.00 and $1.50 Seats Now on Sale at Herron's Jewelry Store Lakeland Skating Rink Bowyer Block, over Star Theater. A Bradentown capitalist recently paid $16,000 for some of the cattle of the Jesse Kaght estate st Ventes. | cThe G} of My Dreams” in Telegram Sal = Repairing OF ALL KINDS ON 1 e place where the Railroad Watches are repaired The place where your work should be done " All work guaranteed. Prices as low as honest work can be done for. Nothing but the best material used GIVE ME A CALL. 1 WILL APPRECIATE IT H. C. STEVENS JEWELER LAKELAND, FLA