Lakeland Evening Telegram Newspaper, January 26, 1912, Page 2

¥AGE TWO | MISS MINERVA ¥7) UA“ GRH‘NIIIL By FRANCES BOYD CALHOUN (Copyright, by Rellly & gfltton Co.) CHAPTER XI. Now Riddle Me This. The children were sitting in the swing. Florence Hammer, a little girl whose mother was spending the day at Miss Minerva’s, was with them. “Don’t you-all wish Santa Claus had o one. his birthday right now ’stead ‘o wait- | ing till' Christmas to hang up our stockings?” asked Frances. “Christmas isn't Snta Claus’ birtb- | day,” corrected Lina. “God was born on Christmas and that's the reason we hang up our stockings.” » “Yes; it's old - Santa’s birthday, t0o,” argued Jimmy, “’cause it's in the Bible and Miss Cecilia 'splained it to me and she ’bout the dandiest ’splainer they is.” “Which you'all like the best: God or Doctor Sanford or Santa Claus?”’ asked Florence. “I 1ike” God ‘nother dight better'n I do anybody,” declared Jimmy, “'cause He so forgivingsome. He's 'bout the forgivingest perfion they is. Santa Claus can’t let you go to Heaven nor, Doctor Sanford neither, nor our papas and mamas nor Miss Minerva. Now wouldn’t we be in a pretty fix if we had to ’pend on Doctor Sanford or Santa Claus to forgive you every time you run off or fall dgwn and bust your breeches. Naw; gimme God ev'y time.” “I like Santa Claus the best,” de- clared ¥rarces, “’cause he isn’t f'r- ever getting in your way, and Wasn't any castor oil like Doctor Sanford, and you don't f'rever have to be tell- ing him you’re sorry you did what you did, and he hasn't all time got one eye on you'either, like God, and got to follow you 'round. And Santa Claus don’t all time say, ‘Shet your eyes and open your mouth,’ like Doctor Sanford, ‘and’poke out your tongue.’” “I like Doctor Sanford the best,” sald Florence, “’cause he's my uncle, and God and Santa Claus ain’t kin to me.” “And the Bible says, ‘Love your kin-folks, Miss Cecilia 'splained— “I use to like my Uncle Doc’ heap better'n what I do now,” went on the little girl, heedless of Jimmy's inter- ruption, “till T went with daddy to his office one day. And what you reckon that man's got in his office? He 'is got a dead man ’thout no meat por iclo’es on, nothing a tall but just his bones,” “Was he a hant?” asked Bmy % § uk,. the Major best—he's :ot meat ‘on. “Naw; he didn’t have no shest on— just bones,” was the reply. “No sheet on; no meat on!” chir- ruped Billy, glad of the rhyme. “Was he a angel, Florenoce?” ques- tioned Frances. “Naw; he didn’t have no harp and no wings neither.” 3 “It must have been a skeleton,” explained Lina. . ! "“And Uncle Doc’' just keep that poor,man there and won't let him xo eaven where dead folks b'longd.” “I spec’ he wasn't a good man ’fore he died and got to go to the Bad place,” suggested Frances. 4“I'll betcher he never asked God to forgive him when he “ceived his papa’ and sassed his mama,’—this from Jimmy,~“and Doctor Sanford’s Just a-keeping old Satan from getting hll% to toast on a pitchfork.” hope they'll have a Christmas’ tree at " Sunday-School next Christs mas,” eaid Frances, harking back, “and T hope I'll get a heap o’ things like I did last Christmas. Poor little Tommy Knott he’s so skeered he wasn’t going to get nothing at all on | the tree so he got him a great, big, red apple an’ he wrote on a piece 0’ paper ‘From Tommy Knott to Tommy Knott,” and tied it to the apple and put it on the tree for hi'self.” ® “Let's ask riddles,” suggested Lina. “All right,” shouted Frances, “I'm ~going to ask the first.” “Naw; you ain't neither,” objected + Jimmy. “You all time got to ask the first riddle. I'm going to ask the first one— to ““‘Round as a biscult, busy as a bee, Prettiest little thing you ever did 00— ‘A watch.' “ ‘Humpty Dumpty set on a wall, ‘Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, ;- All the king's horses and all the { king's men. Can't put Humpty Dumpty bnck again.’ ‘A egg.’ /' ‘Round as a ring, deep as a cup, All the king's horses can’t pull it up.’ “A well *“ “House full, yard full, can't ketch— “Hush, Jimmy!” cried Lina, in dis- gust. “You don’t know how to ask riddles. You must n't give the an. swers, too. Ask one riddle at a time and let some one else answer it: “‘As 1 was going through a fleld of wheat +I picked up something good to eat, "Twas neither fish nor flesh mor bone, 1 kept it till it ran alone? ” “A snake! A snake!” guessed Flor- ence. “That's a easy riddle.” “Snake, nothing!” scoffed Jimmy, “you can’t eat a snake. ’‘Sides Lina Wouldn't 'a picked up a snake, Is R 8 little baby rabbit, Lina?” mmer fish nor nm nor. | bone,” she declared; filesh and bone.” ““Then it's boun’ to be a apple,” was Jimmy’s next guess; “that ain't no flesh and blood and it's good to eat.” “An_apple can’t run alone,” she triumphantly answered. “Give it up? Well, it was an egg and it hatched to & chicken. Now, Florence, you ask ” “and a rzbbit is “S’pose & man was locked up In 2 house,” she asked, “how'd he get out?” “Clam’ outer a winder,” Billy. | “'T wa'n’t no winder to the house,” she declared. “Crawled out th'oo the chim'ly, like Santa Claus,” was Billy’s next guess. “'T wa'n't no chim’ly to it. Give it up? Give it up?” the Ilittle girl laughed gleefully. “Well, he just broke out with measles.” +“It is Billy’s time,” said Lina, who seemed to be mistress of ceremonies. "“Tabernicle learnt this here one at school; see if y'all can guess it: ‘Tab- byshad four kittens but Stillshee did- n't have none 't all”” “I don't see no sense a tall in that,” | argued Jimmy, “ 'thout some bad little boys drowned ‘em.” “Tabby was a cat,” explained |the other boy, “and she had four kittens; and Stillshee was a little girl, and she didn’t have no Kkittens 't all.” 4What’s this,” asked Jimmy: “‘A man rode ‘cross a bridge and Fido walked? Had a little dog name’ Fi- do.” “You didn't ask that right, Jimmy,” said Lina, “you always get things wrong. The riddle is, ‘A man rode across the bridge and Yet he walked, and the answer is, ‘He had a little dog named Yet who walked across the bridge.’” “Well, I'd 'nother sight ruther have a little dog name’ Fido,” declared Jim- my, “I little dog name’ Yet and a little girl name’ Siillshee ain't got no gense a tall to it.” “Why shonld a hangman wear sus- ‘| penders?” asked Lina. “I'll bet no- body can answer that.” “To keep his breeches from falling off,” triumphantly answered Frances. “No, you goose, a hangman should wear suspenders so that he'd always have a gallows handy.” guessed > [ CHAPTER Xil. In the House of the Lord. ! t was a beautiful fiundny morning. The pulpit of the Methodist Church was not occupled by its regular pas- tor, Brother Johnson. Instead, & trave eling minister, collecting funds for a church orphanage in Memphis, was the speaker for the day. s Miner- va rarely missed a service'in her own.| church. She wag always on hand at the love Feast and the Missionary Rally and gave ‘boully of her means to every cause, She was sitting in hor own pew between Billy and Jim- Mr. and Mrs. Garner having re- mfl'ned at home. Across the aisle from her sat Frances Black, between her father and mother; two pews in front of her were Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton, with Lina on the outside next the aisle. The good Major was there, too; it was-the only place he ‘could depend upon for seeing Miss Minerva. The preacher, after an earnest and eloquent discourse from the text, “He ‘will remember the fatherless,” closed the big Biblp with a bang calculated to wake up any who might be sleep- ing. He came down from the pulpit and stood close to his hearers as he made his last pathetic appeal. “My own heart,” said he, “goes out | to every orphan child, for in the yel- low fever epidemic of '78, when but two years old, I lost both father and mother. If there are any little orphan children here today, 1 should be glad if they would come up to the fronmt and shake hands with me.” J , Now Miss Minerva always faithful- Iy responded to every proposal made by a 'preacher; it was a part of her religious conviction. At revivals she was ever a shining, if solemn and aus- tere, light. When a minister called for all those who wanted to go to Heaven ;to rise, she was always the first one on her feet, If he asked to see the raised hands of those who were members of the church at the tender age of tem years, Miss Miner- va's thin, long arm gave a prompt re- sponse. Once when a celebrated evangelist was holding a big pro- tracted meeting under canvas in the | town and had asked those who had jj read the book of Hezekiah in the Bible to stand up, Miss Minerva on one side of the big tent and her de- voted lover on theg“other sidé were among the few who had risen to their feet. She had read the good book from cover to cover, from Genesis to Revelation over and over so she thought she had read Hezekiah a iscore of times. ‘| So now, when the preacher called for little orphans to come forward, she leaned down.and whispeted to liam, and shake hands with the nice kind preacher.” “Wha’ fer?” he asked. “T don't want ' to go up there; ev’ybody here’ll look right at me.” “Are there no little orphans here?” the minister was sayidg. “I want to shake the hand of any lttle child who has had thé misfortune to lose its Jdarents.t” o " (ol g g her fephew, “Go up to the tront, Wil- |: Lakéland Lodge No. 91 F. & A. M. meets in Masonic Hall every Second and Fburth Monday nights. A cor- digl invitation' to visiting brethren. C.G. Aropde]l sderetary; J. L. Love, Ww. M. Sl » . Lakeland Chapter, R. A. 29 meets the nrh Thursday t ln each month‘In ‘Masonic Hall. ‘Ilm— ing companions welcomed.' 0» G. Arendell”Sec’y.; J. F. Wilson,' B"’_ P. y » s @ 3 Palm Ghapter, O. E. 8. meets every second and fourth Thursday nights of each month at 7:30 p. m. Mrs. Flora Keen, W. M., Lucie F B. Eaton, Secy. . - Ld meets every second and fourth Thurs- day night. Woodmen Circle first and third Thursdays. nedy, Council Ccmmander, Mrs, Sal- lie Scipper, Guardian of Circle. . L - % v 10, 00 By 1 Meets every Friday pight at 7:30 at 1. 0. 0. F. Hnll ,corner Main and Tennessee. Vlsmng\ brothers dially invited. . Q. FRENOH“ Noble Grand. K. OF P. at 7:30 at 0dd Fellows Hall. Visit- ing members always welcome. F. D. BRYAN, Chancellor Commander. A, M. JACKSON, Secretary. @I A toB.of L. E Orange Blossom Div. No. 499. G. 1. A, to B. of L. E. meets every second and fourth Wednesdays of each month at 2:30 p. m. Villthlg Sisters always welcome, MRS. J. C. BROWN Sec'y. Mrs. J. B. HOGAN,' Pres. * & 8 .G A R Meets first Saturday in every month at C. E. Dayton’s, South Ten- nessee. " J. R. TALLEY, Adjt. Kig % s L A. CLONTS’ Q Duu:u IN Real [state JUST A MINUTE! ANew Meat Market on Florida Avenue Next Door to G. L. Gardner we have opened up a grocery store and meat markKet and are able to furnish our customers in good Flor- ida and western meats of all kinds. Quick and prompt delivery. CALL PHONE 67, STRAIN, & RUTHERFORD Famous Makers of Rugs. Io the cities of Harput and Sivas are several firms engaged in the manufacture of rugs of the best grade and quality. In Sivas there are 500 iooms, with about 1,500 operatives; and in - Harput about one-third that uumbér of looms and operatives: Nearly all the output of the Sivag looms is sold in Kurope, while the output of the Harnu( looms is ship ped to America | Egyptians Great Fish Eaters. In ‘the intestines of mummies of 8,000 to 4,000 B.'C, have been found vegetable fibers, grain, bones and scales of fishés, and pones and teeth of rodents. - Several Nile fishes were identified. One woman had eaten 20 ldln‘eunl kinds of fish just before her death and a child had taken a dose of | eases. ‘ i s A Vain Effort. / “Why don’t you take an interest in affairs?” said the offhand adviser. “Why don’t you read the newspapers 80 that you can converse intelligently Iwuh your husbind?” plied young Mirs. ‘Torkins, “but I made a mistake. 1 fead the presi« dent's message instead of the football |news,” Success Matter of Will Power, “Don’t flinch, flounder, fali over, nor fiddle, but grapple like ' man. A man who wills it can go anywhere, and do what he determines to do." --John Todd. A Puzzle. Why is 1t that the average man is (always willing to spend $6 worth of his time trying to get a 40-cent redue- £a8 bil? Lakeland Camp No, 78, W. 0, W.,! eor- | Regular meeting every Tuesday | | Furnlshings. C. F. Ken- Drane Building o) Her Motlve. Pretty well all the big things wom- en do are dopne for men. | belleve. Foolish it may be, but | suppose it's human nature. We are made =0, and must put up with it--Robert Hichecs. L. M, Futch, J. H, Gentry. | Gentry Undertaking Co. Successors to Angle Undertaking Co. :: A DIRECTORS, 'Phonu. day or nlnt. 245. New line Beds in two-inch Post Verni Martin, Oxodized, and Near Brass Finishes from $2 75 and up, SPRING -"-" Ourline of Springs are (:orrect. and prices right. From 51. 75| an.dnp ' ROCKER mice, an old remedy for children's dis- “I tried to,” res Koclfers' in Oak, Reed, Rattan and Misslon at prices to suit. Cash or Instalment. Your Credit s Good With Us, LAKELAND FURNITURE & * - HARDWARE 60 e S e e ) T | Betencs, It 1t does - $IS Don’t forget we m maklng Sprlng Suits $50 N 3 Tne- Savoy Shirt, Madé-Well Underwear, Stetson Hass, Dhmond Brand Silk Hats, and Ccps 50c up, Onyx Hose, Llsle and Silk Wal‘k-{)ver and Haflah Shoes, "N Sehmidtkl&it Sweaters and a compkte line of Men’s 1.1. WOODS & Co. Phone 208 BB B0 0004 Lakeland Artificial Stone Works Near Electric Light Plant MAKES RED CEMENT PRESSED BRICK " CALL AND SEE THEM..CAN SAVE YOU MONEY Crushed Rock, Sand and Cement for Sale BUILDING . nmor ‘ALL DESCRIPTIONS llndl!hwhnnhmc for. Sidewalk, Gate Posts, Flower a -+ . Mounds, Ete, Goodltuknm..' WE Deliver Free of Charge B. HMEMAN. Pronnetor. ...NOHI]NG BUT SHOES... " We sell at regular prices and give a discount[of 5 per cent. YOUR GAIN OUR LOSS. " Only exclusive shoe store in Lakelaad. All the latest styles---Call and see for yourself AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAM WWOWWW- i TheAakeland Steam Laundry S one of the best equipped plants in the State having all modern machinery and what is more, W¢ i Tt i o I have operators who know how 10 use them. - S We want everybody's laundry. Do you send yours? If not, why not give a trial next week? B e SRIERT 5 P R. W. WEAVER, 1 #. *Phone 130 Good Milk. The returned fresh alr kid was tefl- Ing his mother of the wonders of the country. “And may, ma,” he sald, “out at Angola they get milk from cows, and it's just as good milk o Buffalo Emnn: i e, Competengs :nd the Morals. There is no | in having a com- not produce fatty elener:‘%_hl a( the morals; - possstttilf 2 #5 That Point of VI Mr. Rooster—Th : Mr. Owl, is that ¥ 0 HEverybody ought 10 5 = illl.‘ and get up J o | Ught."—Life. T.mperamsn:‘ ¥ Woman wants © husband because M" a widow's mnr‘yr'wf painter, *¢ as temperament . .. . . 0 T R N e S o .r\. S o i s il s