Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, December 10, 1913, Page 30

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& Tr LER L IAAL AAL AAS OASL AAS AAS ONL OA LEAL OAS OAL ALA L RAL IDA LDA LARA RA SOAS OAL Flour, Feed Hay, Grain Millstuffs Agent for the Unexcelled Fitger Duluth Beer Have a case of this famous beverage brought to your home for the enjoyment of your own family and visiting friends* Telephone 181. Grand Rapids, Minn. W. C. TYNDALL GRAND RAPIDS HERALD-REVIEW WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 10, 1913 Diamond Feed Company A Dangerous Game. A doggie whose name was Theophilus ‘Tray Pees eee ere “You have had a nice game, but there's trouble ahead ‘When they see what you've done,” Mrs. Pussy Cat said. Then she smiled to herself, and she chuckled: “Hee, hee! What he’ll get he’ll deserve, always bark- ing at me!” THE MESSAGE IN THE BOTTLE A Romance That Began in a Most Unusual Way. “You are acting like a ninny, sir. I am very much disappoited in you.” The words were spoken by old Mar- shall Humphrey to his son Joe, who had reached the age of twenty-five, which his father considered ample to show that he was exactly what that father wished him to be. And what his father wished him to be was this: First, he should be devoted to business and predisposed to carry on the con- cern his father had built up; second, he should marry and bring forth a son; through whom all this growth of wealth could be transmitted. To the old man’s chagrin, the boy would have nothing to do with the business and showed every symptom of becom- ing a confirmed bachelor. Since he was an only child he was old Mr. Hum- phrey’s sole hope. Joe Humphrey, matrimonially con- sidered, was like a wild animal that needs to be caught and trained, after which it loves its master devotedly. Leaving his father to nurse his dis- appointment, he went to his boathouse, intending to have a pull in his boat on the river. Just as he was about to embark he saw something red dancing on the wavelets among some rushes near by. Getting into the boat, he gave a couple of strokes, seized the red thing and drew out a bottle of pickles, as he supposed, the red thing being sealing wax covering the cork. It was a pickle bottle, but no pickles. Breaking the seal, he shook out a card, on which was written, “Irma Whiting, aged eighteen years, six months and twenty days.” Tacked to the card with a bit of thread was a lock of auburn hair in circular form. Below this was the address. There was nothing to explain why the articles had been placed in the bottle. If there had been there would be no story. Nature has laid a num- | ber of traps to insure the propagation of the human species, but the one she -keeps for a starter in difficult cases is curiosity. By this she’ excites atten- tion, which is held and enlarged by romance. In this case the starter was Miss Whiting’s card floating in a bot- tle without a reason given. The in- terest it excited was enhanced by the little circlet of hair. Joe Humphrey pulled to the shade of some trees overhanging the river bank and, with the card in his hand, gave himself up to wonder. What did the girl want anyway? What was she like? He had had girls in dozens thrown at him by designing mothers without feeling anything but repug- nanee. There was neither curiosity. nor romance, and above all was want- ing the excitement of the chase. If this girl was angling for a lover it was not him especially. He pulled back to the boathouse, climbed to a furnished upper room, where he kept writing materials, and inclosed the card with his own, on which he wrote: “Picked up this — day of —, 190—. ‘Cast your bread on the waters, and it shall be returned to you an hundredfold.’” In due time he received a duplicate card with the inscription, “Better one gold dollar than a hundred copper pen- nies.” His reply: “No puny gold dollar rep- resents the writer. He may rather be likened to a big silver coin. Your circlet of golden hair may have sug- gested your simile.” Her reply: “It’s all the gold I have.” His reply: “I have only a heart of oak.” That was the beginning of the end. The correspondence went on. Miss Whiting finally explaining that she was a poor girl with a stepmother and no one to love her. She had sent her card adrift hoping that it might change her life and make it happier. Supple- mentary to this Humphrey informed her that he was a poet whose verses were too far above the market to be acceptable to publishers, but he thought that together they might be happy in each other’s love in a cottage and asked permission to call. It was grant- ed, and he met the girl in a small house on a country road. She was dressed in calico, and he wore a wool- en shirt under a threadbare suit. There was a courtship. One day Miss Whiting told him that she had been playing a part. She did not live in the house where she re ceived him. She was rich and had been hounded by fortune hunters. She wished to be loved for herself only. - Then Humphrey admitted that he, too, had been playing a game. He was not a pauper, but heir to a big busi- ness and a fortune One day Joe Humphrey informed his tather that he wished to take hold of the business and learn it with a view to running it. The old man was de- lighted. and the young man took hold with a zeal that was surprising. One day the father asked the son why he ee LA RINT RIT AEP PR I TURNED THE JOKE. Romieu’s Fun With the Watchmaker Was Spoiled In the Windup. | ‘The French critic, musician and gov- ernment official, Romieu, was fond of joking. One of his diversions—amus- ing, but not to be commended—was to go into some shop where he thought he was not known and perplex the shopmen by his questions and re- marks. One evening he had taken a good deal of wine when he went into a lit- tle watchmaker’s shop and, assuming the accent and air of a countryman, said: “Sir, what do you call those little machines hanging there?” “Watches.” replied the shopkeeper. “What are they for?" “To indicate the time.” “Really? I have heard of them. How much do they cost?” “Here is one for 200 francs and one for 100 francs. and here are some for 50 and 25 francs.” “Are there printed directions about making them go?” “No; they have to be wound up every day with a key.” “Will you show me how, sir?” “This way. You see it is not diffi- cult.” “And must one wind ‘it in the even- ing or in the morning?” “You must wind yours in the morn- “Why in the morning?” “Because in the evening you are usually drunk, M. Romieu, and might break it.” All invalids, Father Bernard Vaughan is still tell- ing Londoners good stories of his ex- periences during his recent tour in America. At St. Louis a boastful American said to him: “Look at our Mississippi and Hudson rivers! Why. compared with them your Mersey and Severn and Thames are sleepy, sickly streams.” “I think yours are just as sickly as ours,” observed Father Vaughan. “How do you make that out?” de manded the other. “Well, they are all confined to their beds!” Father Vaughan replied. Gains For All Our Losses. There are gains for all our losses, There are balms for all our pain, But when youth, the dream, departs It takes something from our hearts, And it never comes again. We are stronger and are better Under manhood’s sterner reign. Still we feel that something sweet Followed youth with flying feet And will never come again. Something beautiful has vanished, And we sigh for it in vain. We behold it everywhere, On the earth and in the air, But it never comes again. —Richard Henry Stoddard. Author - Publisher By ANDREW C. EWING Leslie Robinson was the son of a publisber. His father said to him one day when the boy was much elated at being made editor of the high school Banner: “My boy, don’t get the liter- ary fever. A great many catch it, and euly those recover in whom the liter- ary parasites find nothing to feed on. i fear you have just enough talent for writing to make you uncomfortable all your life.” Alas, the young are not so constitut- ed as to take the advice of the old. Perhaps this is best as it is. It is not guccess that brings happiness; it is striving for success. But in literary work for all but one in a million there are constant disappointments. Young Robinson was so unfortunate, according to his father’s idea, when he went to college as to be made editor of the university magazine. His es- says received the highest marks. He gras- unconscious of the fact that the weason they took high rank was be Mr. Robinson, &r., died while his as in college. The publishing ‘besiness, by the late owner's injunc- as to be carried on, till Leslie graduated, by the junior partner, after which the son was to manage the @mterests he had inherited. He proved > have business capacity and soon be- ame the brains of the establishment. Perhaps if Leslie Robinson had ap- if ance was due to their merit and how much to their having been offered by the head of the publishing house of Robinson & Co. After awhile Mr. Robinson brought out a novel. It was accepted by the first publisher to whom it was offer- ed. Robinson scorned to publish it himself. He said that the test of a good book is that a business man will risk his money on it. It cost sev- eral thousand dollars to get out an edition of a book, and unless the article was of sufficient merit to insure a re turn it would not find a publisher. He was still young in the business or he would have known that the higher the type the less the profit. The poet Browning would have starved had he been forced to live on the income he derived from his poems. Robinson published severa! books, one after another. He did not succeed in becoming well known as an author, but bad no difficulty in securing pub- lishers for what he wrote. By and by the publishers began to ask him to give them his books for publication. This was a long step to the front. Leslie was very proud of himself. Those associated with him in business asked him why if his books were val- uable to other publishers they were not valuable to him. He replied that to publish his own works would make it appear that he could not get any other house to take the risk of do ing so. Robinson married a girl with a good deal of horse sense. It did not re quire a long time for her to see that ber husband was an excellent business man. She knew that persons are apt not to value what they are born to and are easily puffed up with a little suc- cess at what they do indifferently well. One day she had the temerity to tell her tusband that he was nat- urally fitted for business—indeed, it was his natural vocation. , A dispute arose between them which ended in an agreement that the next novel offered by him should be under an assumed name. Robinson winced at this suggestion made by his wife, for he knew the value of a name. but he admitted that if his novel had not sufficient merit to find a publisher without his name it could not be a literary gem. At any rate, he was willing to abide by the test. His work was sent first to the pub Msher who had thus far put out all his books. Within 2 week it was returned with a printed “unavailable” card. This was a great fal) for his literary pride’ For the next six months he continued to send his work to his brother publishers. Most of them kept it a long while. ‘He thought this meant that they were making ap their minds. It was not this, but that they were too busy to examine it. At the end of the six months it had gone the rounds. The day it came back from the last novel ad- Vertised by one of his brother publisn- ers, the author of which had stood trial for murder. It appalled him that this man could find a publisher and he could not. As a last resort he tried his own drm. Sending his manuscript to himself, on its arrival! he turned it over to his chief reader, who sent it back to him.with the following report: The author says all he has to say re- markably well. But he has nothing to say. No one knows why Leslie Robinson stopped writing except his wife. Friends tell him that a genius was spoiled when he went into business, but he shrugs his shoulders and says that authorship does not pay pecuni- arily. Mrs. Robinson looks solemn and says nothing. History Made by a Postage Stamp. A postage stamp which played a part in history is told about by M. Bunau- Varilla in his book on the Panama canal. The incident occurred when the discussion over the relative merits of the Panama and Nicaragua routes was at its height. Bunau-Varilla had been working vigorously for the Pan- ama route, making use of the two arguments of less cost and immunity from active volcanoes. One day he recalled that Nicaragua had issued a handsome stamp, showing a volcano in full activity. He at once sent to | the dealers in foreign stamps in Wash- ington, and obtained ninety of these stamps, which he forwarded to the ninety senators, along with bits of paper bearing the words, “Postage stamp of the republic of Nicaragua; an official witness of the volcanic ac- tivities of Nicaragua.” The catastrophe at St. Pierre took place about this time. to deepen the impression of vol- eanic danger. and the Panama route was adopted by the narrow margin of | four votes.—New York Post. Never Settled Questions, The familiar saying that nothing is settled until it is settled right ex- presses only a half truth. Questions of general and permanent importance are seldom finally settled. A very wise man has said that “short of the multiplication table there is no truth and no fact which must not be proved over again if it had never been prov- ed, from time to time.” Conceptions of social rights and obligations and the institutions based upon them continue unquestioned for long periods as postu- lates in all discussions upon questions of government. Whatever conduct cou- forms to them is assumed to be right. Whatever is at variance with them ix assumed to be wrong. comes when with apparent suddenness the ground of discussion shifts and the postulates ure denied. ‘They cease to Then a time S. S. McMAHON CANDIES Our stock of confectionery for the holidays is the finest in the county. We have Candies of all kinds, rang- , ing from the ordinary mixed varieties in bulk to the most choice and fancy put up by manufacturers who enjoy a world wide reputation, FRUITS IN SEASON Special line of Fine Cigars ready for the holiday trade be accepted without proof, and the | whole controversy in which they were originally established is fought over again.—Senator Root in North Amer- ican Review, : A most appropriate Holiday Gift is a year’s subscription to a Magazine or Periodical. We are the local agents for all high grade publications. > = — fi \

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