Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, December 16, 1905, Page 8

Keep the Kidneys ‘Well and jearning the true cause of bad backs neys Will Keep You Well, — Sick, suffering, languid women are and how to cure them. Mrs. W. G. Davis of Groesbeck, Texas, says: “Back- aches hurt me so I could hardly stand. Spells of dizzinese and sick headaches were frequent and " the action of the kidneys was irregu- lar. Soon after I began taking Doan’s Kidney Pills I passed several gravel stones. I got well and the trouble has not returned. My back is good and strong and my general health better.” Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. For Once Luck Deserted Her. Miss Miriam Michelson, the success- ful novelist, was a few years ago a re- porter. Of her life as a reporter she said recently: “I usually had good luck. I was as- signed to good stories, I covered them well, and therefore I liked the busi- ness. Once, though, a horrible misad- venture befell me. “I had interviewed a millionaire’s wife. and, as the lady had been very kind ‘and obliging, I wanted in my ar- ticle to say only such things as would please her. In one paragraph I put the sentence: “‘Immense diamonds sparkled in her ears.’ “The compositor and the proofread- ers must have been ill, or something, for the next morning the sentence ran: ““Diamonds sparkled in her im- mense ea PATENTS. List of Patents issued Last Week to Northwestern Inventors. Reported by Lothrop & Johnson, patent lawyers, 911-912 Pioneer Press building, St. Paul, Minn. Dewitt Bas- sett, Woonsocket, S. D., air ship; Charles Chapman, Berlin, N. D., clamp; John Kelly, St. Paul, Minn., draw press for sheet metal; Henry Meser, Brazil, N. D., roller attachment; Carl Neubauer, Chisholm, Minn., barb- ed wire; William Rice, Winona, Minn., reclining chair; John Wolfe, Kellogg, Minn., fodder fork. Murphy Had Not Missed Him. Murphy and Casey had beem fishing for some time without much luck, when Casey went below unobserved by Murphy. . At last Murphy got a bite and he pulled the fish up until its head show- ed above water, and it proved to bea dogfish. He stopped pulling, and, looking at the head, exclaimed: “For heaven's sake, Casey, when did you fall over- board ?""—Boston Herald. Troubles of the Rich. Jaggles—Why does that millionaire boast of his ancestry? Waggies—Because he can’t very, well boast of his posterity, when his daughter eloped with the coachman and his two sons are taking the gold cure.—Puck. STATE OF Onto, CITY OF TOLEDO, | Lucas Count’ Frank J. CHENEY mal partner of the firm of F. business in the City o: y, Btate and that sald firma will pay the sum of RED DOLLARS for each and every case of CaTARRM that cannot be cured by the use of Hal's CaTarRe CURE. f FRANK J. CHENEY. Sworn to before me and subscribed in my pres ence, this 6th day of December, A. D. 1886. A.W. GLEABON, Norary Pusuic. Catarrh Cure is taken internally and acte on the blood and mucous surfaces of the Is, free. HENEY & CO., Toieco, QO, Wise Willie. Willie's Mamma—Why don't you an- swer me? Willie—Didn’t you tell me to think twice before I speak? Willie's Mamma— Yes. Willie—Well, first I thought I would answer you, and then I thought 1 wouldn’t.—Philadelphia Press, Girls of To-Day. Maud—lI have just received an offer of marriage, which came by post this morning. He said his love for me was very great, but thet his income was small. Marie—What a pity! Whom was it from? Maud—I really did not notice. was enough.—Chicago Journal. That Rersseeeceres Es enecemrmermeree Bete ae votes “According to the French proverb,” said the bride of a week, “what is sown in love becomes a flower in par- adise.” “Very well, my dear,” rejoined the newly made hubby; “just sew tk’S suspended button on for me, and Wr ~«* proceed to give our garden a boost.”— Chicago News. TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tablets. Druj ts refund money if it fails to cure. E. ROVE'S signature ison each box. %5e. Sure Cure. “Did ydu see my picture in this morning’s paper?” asked the public man. “No,” said the wit, shrieking with laughter. “What were you cured of? Ha, ha!” “Of vanity, after I saw the picture,” answered the other, sadly.—Cleveland Leader. “Is dere anyting you wouldn't eat fer dinner?” Awhat as “Breakfast.”—Cleveland Leader, : Pp An Italian laborer who @ road near Ardmore yesterday after- noon unearthed fully a bushel of half dollars. The report spread and it was not long until almost the whole pop- ulation of Ardmore, particularly the younger portion of it, went out to the old Saunders farm, where the treasure hati been found. Sure enough, it was there, and the Italian was so confounded that he could only mumble incoherently. The coins lay scattered about on the ground and many were picked up and stowed away in pockets. When they were examined tater, however, it was found that they were all counterfeit. The coins, which were good pieces of workmanship, bore the dates 1846 and 1851. Saunders, for whom the farm was named, was a counterfeiter. One day his place was surrounded by govern- ment officials. Saunders escaped them, however, only to be captured a few days afterward in a hotel in Philadek phia. At his home was found a wagon load of moulds and other ma terial for making bogus coins. He was sent to prison for twenty years, but managed to get away in an ingeniously contrived box of his own making. This, unfortunately, was turned wrong side up and Saunders, upon being discov- ered, had to go back to jail to finish his term. Soon afterward he died of paralysis and was buried near Grass- Jand. % The coins found yesterday were specimens of his work. Inspectors from Philadelphia have taken them in charge and are trying to recover those which were carried away by persons who arrived soon after the find was made.—Philadelphia Press The Mediators. The Southern lad, he goes up North and looks around awhile; He sees a lot of things that cause a rath- er sneering smile. He finds they don’t know how to live. are rather stiff and cool, And holds the man preferring it is some- thing ‘of a fool. For him, as soon as he can get arrange- ments duly made, He'll take a limited express and seek his native shade! But pretty soon he spies a pink complex- ion, So innocent, so charming, and so fresh! And to make the story short, a brief in- spection Entangles all his heart within a mesh! So_he forbears to leave with expedition. Decides at least to put it off till fall; Remarks to friends the land’s not so dem- nition Bad at all! A Northern Lad, he comes down. South in. criticalest wise; He sees a lot of things that pain his unco’ thrifty eyes! He doesn't see the hurry sign on every country fence, And the wasted opportunities to him ap- pear immense! ° The people eat and talk too much, and he is going back To old associations in the town of Hack- ensack! But pretty soon he spies a pair of ankles Mon dieu! A pair of ankles soon he spies! And each objection made no longer ran- es, Particularly when he. sees the eyes! So_he decides to stay a little longer, Begins to like the customs better far, And so—what need is there to put it stronger? There you are! —New Orleans Times-Democrat. Women in Government Employ. An official of the government print- ing office was talking the other even- ing of the personnel of the women employed in the big printery. He said the civil service rules went into effect. at the office just ten years ago. The result has been to give the Office a much better class of women workers than those who were appointed prior to that time. “The women in the folding rooms the bindery and the press room now,” Said the official, “are largely of the educated class. Some of them are former school teachers, stenographers. and the like, and I will add they are a credit to the government service.” The statement was added that it frequently happens that these workers in the printing office are transferred to important clerical positions in the other departments by reason of the high percentage they make in com- petitive examinations.—Washington Star. Naqgs—Two Kinds. A story is going the rounds about two oil operators who had trouble with their wives, and while the yarn may be a trifle old there are but few who have heard it. Smith and Jones, as they had best be known, were at Kane. Pa., last winter when a report reachea ihem that a wonderful well in a new field near Warren had been struck. They at’once hired a livery team and cutter. A few miles out'the horses hecame unmanageable and ran awa Both occupants of the sleigh were thrown out into the snow, where they sat watching the horses gallop down the road, one animal kicking the front out of the sleigh as it ran. Then the same thought seemed to strike both of them. “I wander if the liveryman will sel' ‘me that team?” questioned Jones. “My case is more serious. For heav- en’s sake let me buy the nigh horse ' want to present it to my wife,” was Smith’s reply. Amounts Received by Royalty. The kaiser receives $3,925,000 a year as king of Prussia, but nothing as em- peror of Germany. Besides this he has an enormous private income, derived from mines, fisheries and estates, of which he owns more than any other man in Prussia. The king of Bavaria receives $1,350,000 a year; the king of Saxony, $875,000; the grand duke of Baden, $400,000. The czar of Russia is paid $6,750,000 for his private use, while each grand duke receives $1,000,000 a year. In addition to these enormous salaries each of these has a large income from royalties and per- quisites of many kinds, of which few outsiders know anything. Aeronaut's Question. © Of Baldwin, the ill-fated aeronaut, a Cleveland man ‘said’ recently: “He once took me with him balloon- ing. The experience was odd ‘and frightening. A gale came up and I be- came airsick—a condition worse than seasickness. It was now necessary to descend, but Baldwin wanted to know in what part of the country we fioat- ed. “With our glasses we swept the land- scape, but in the failing light only one house was visible, and near by a man worked in a field. Baldwin, with great skill, brought down the balloon till it was only about a hundred feet above the man’s head. “ ‘Hil’ he shouted. ‘Hi!’ “The workmart looked up in amaze- ment. “Where are we?’ cried Baldwin, as we darted onward. “Where are ye?’ repeated the man, in his slow, dull way. “*¥es. Where are we?’ “Why, same the reply, almost in- audible, we were now so far pai ‘why, yer up in a balloon, ain't ye? The Wasteful Captain. She was a fair passenger in search of information and the captain was, naturally, only too willing to gratify her. He had explained that the ac- tion of the propeller forced the ship through the water, and added, as a fur- ‘| ther item of information: “We made twenty knots an hour last night, miss.” “Did you really?” said the sweet girl. “And whatever did you do with them all?” The captain went red and his eyes dilated. “Threw them overboard,” he shortly. “Fancy!” she said.—Tit-Bits. said, A Valuable Agent. ‘The glycerine employed in Dr, Pierce’s medicines greatly enhances the medi- cinal properties which it extracts and holds in solution much better than alco- hol would. It also possesses medicinal properties of its own, being a valuable demulcent, nutritive, antiseptic and anti- ferment. It adds greatly to the efficacy of the Black Cherrybark, Golden Seal root, Stone root and Queen’s root, con- tained in“Golden Medical Discovery” in INFANIS “CHILDREN Promotes Digestion. Cheerful- ness andRest.Contains neither Opium,Morphine nor Mineral. Nor NARCOTIC. A ect Remedy for Constipa- fiero Stomach, inten Worms Convulsions Feverish- ness and LOSS OF SLEEP. NEW YORK. Ato months old 3) Dosrs— RZCINIS . EXACT COPY OF WRAPPER. For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought In Use For Over Thirty Years CASTORIA Dangerous. She—Do you like a cozy corner in a room? He—No! I think they're fierce! 1 never got in one yet that somebody didn’t try to make me propose.—De- troit Free Press. | Mother Cray's Sweet Powders for Children, Successfully used by Mother Gray, nurse in the Children’s Home in New York, cure realize from, their wheat crop this year. 25 Bushels to the Acre Will be the, Average Yield of Wheat. The land that this was grown on cost many of the farmers absolutely nothing, while those who wished to add to the 160 acres the Govern- ment grants, can buy land adjoifiing at trom $6 to $10 an acre. ” Climate splendid, school convenient, railways close at hand, taxes low. REY Send for pamphlet “20th Century Canada” ° and full particulars regarding rates, etc., to Superintendent of Immigration, Ottawa, Canada, or to the folowing authorized Canadian Government Agent—E. T. Holmes, 315 Jackson Street, St. Paul, Minnesota, (Mention this paper.) when eggs are highest are the reward of the sensible poultry keeper who user N'S Gost Suerioa POWDER the poultry tonic that for forty y has given results. One par’ two-lb. can $1.20; six $5. Exnress I. 8. JOHNSON & €0.. Boston, KURTZMANN PIANOS. Established 1848. Reliable and durable. Fine tone quality. Send for Catalogue. J. KALSCHEUER & CO. Fourth and St. Peter Streeis, ST. PAUL. MINN, It is wrong for you to suffer from Constipation, Bowel and Stomach Trouble when there is a positive, natural and harmless cure—Mu t's Grare Tonic. Have you noticed the large Fever, Malarial Fever, Appendi Skin Disease, Piles, Female Troubles, are the result of Constipation. There imber of Typhoid Fever cases lately? Typhoid itis, Impure Blood, Pimples, Sick Headache, Stomach Troubles, Heart Troubles, etc. , @ remedy now to be had that cures these troubles absolutely. subduing chronic, or lingering coughs, Constipation, Feverish: Bad Sto: bronchial, throat and lung affections, ee Dig retecewas carne for all of which these agents are recom- Peron pain mie eianoy a SHOESeUAta Nts y standard-medical authorities..| ginonials, At all Draegicts Soe. poem Tnvall.cases. where thére-is.a wasting |Wmonials. At all Druggists, 26c. pe. away of flesh, loss of appetite, with | FREE. Address 4.S. Olmsted, LeRoy,N.¥. weak stomach, as in the early stages of Pe ome a Ce, consumption, there can be no doubt that glycerine acts as a valuable nutritive and aids the Golden Seal root. Stone root, Queen’s root and Black Cherrybark in ee digestion and building up the lesh and strength, controlling the cough and bringing about a healthy condition of the Nels age Of course, it must not be expec! to work miracles. It will not cure consumption except in its earlicr stages. It will cure very severe, obstin- ate, chronic coughs, bronchial and laryn- geal troubles, ard chronic sore throat with hoarseness. In acute coughs it is not soeffective. It is in the lingering coughs, or those of long standing, even when accompanied by bleeding from lungs, that it has performed its most marvelous cures. Send for and read the little book of extracts, treating of the pooper and uses of the several med- icinal roots that enter into Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery and learn why this medicine has such a wide range of application in the cure of diseases. It is sent free. Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y. The “Discovery” con- tains no alcoho! or harmful, habit-form- ing drug. Ingredients all printed on each bottle wrapper in plain English. Sick people, especially those sufferin; from diseases of long standing, are invit to consult Dr. Pierce by letter, free. All correspondence is held ‘as strictly private and sacredly confidential. Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y. Dr. Pierce’s Medical Adviser is sent free on receipt of stamps to pay expense of mailing only. Send 21 one-cent stamps for paper-covered, or 31 stamps for cloths bound copy. Worse Yet. Rownder—Blame the luck, anyhow! Lusher—What’s the matter? Rownder—Aw, my wife always stays up for me when I'm out late at night. Lusher—You're lucky. Mine comes after me.—Cleveland Leader. 7 A GUARANTEED CURE FOR PILES. Itching, Blind, Bleeding, Protrading Piles. Drug- gista are authorized to refund money if PAZO OLN IMENT falls to cure in 6 to 14 days. 50c. Swindled, “Thought you said that auto you sold me was a twenty-horse power?” “So it is.” “Well, it isn’t; the first horse I ran over put it out of business.”’—Houston Post. P Bespoken. “No, thank you,” said Miss De Mure, “I don’t care to meet any new young men.” “My,” exclaimed. Miss Gaddie; “you are select all of a sudden.” “No,” replied Miss De Mure, glanc- ing dreamily at her new ring; “I’ve merely been selected all of a sudden.” St.Jacobs Oil has traveled round the world, and everywhere human Aches and Pains Tam sure Piso’s Cure for Consumption saved my life three years ago.—MRs. THOS. ROBEINS, Maple Street. Norw: N. ¥., Feb. 17, 1900. Not Quite Clear. Biffkins—Do you mean to say that suit you have on was made to order? Miffkins—Sure thing. Biffkins—Who for a | have welcomed it and blest ! it for a cure. | Price, 25c. and 50c. A full sized bottle is furnished you free to prove it. Remember we give only one bottle to each family. If your druggist fails to supply you with Mull’s Grape Tonic send us this coupon together with name and address of the druggist and we will mail you a bottle. Try all the druggists before you write us as the bottlehe is authorized to give you for this coupon‘is three times as large as the:one-we.areallowed.to send by mai}, The following coupon will not be honored unless it is cut out of the paper in one piece including the Patient's coupon, Retail Druggist’s coupon and Wholesale or Jobber's coupon, they must not be separated. CUT OUT THIS COUPON, SIGN AND TAKE IT TO YOUR DRUGGIST WHO 1S 187—12165 AUTHORIZED TO GIVE YOU A FREE 35c, BOTTLE FOR IT. I hereby certify that I have never taken Mull’s Grape Tonic, that I will apply for only ono free bottle, that I will not sell or give it away and that I will take it myself for Constipation. Bowel and Stomach Trouble as soon as I obtain it. ~ Patient sign your name here very plainly, Write your full address here very plainly. NONE BUT THE RETAIL DRUGGIST MUST SIGN THIS: TO THE RETAIL DRUGGIST: This coupon void unless you sign your name and address on the line below. Send this fall coupon to the jobber of whom you-purchased this remedy, and he will give you 35 cents in cash or trade for each coupon, properly signed, which you send him. All jobbers have the 35c, 50c and $1.00 sizes. The $1.00 bottle contains nearly 6 times the 35c size and 3 times the 0c size, ~~ Retail Druggist, sign your name here, "Your address here. NO ONE BUT THE WHOLESALE DRUGGIST MUST SIGN THIS: TO THE JOBBER: You will please accept this coupon if the same is properly signed, and give to the retailer buying the remedy from you, 35 cents in cash or trade for same. This conpon void unless you sign your firm name and address. Forward all coupons to us, and we will remit you 35 cents for each coupon property signed by the consumer, retailer and yourself Jobber, sign your neme here. ~ Address here. Cut out the above three coupons in one piece. Do not separate. MULL'S GRAPE TONIC CO., Makers, No. 148 Third Ave., Rock Island, 1. IS GUARANTEED TO CURE GRIP, BAD COLD, HEADACHE AND NEURALGIA. Iwon’t sell Anti-Gripine to a dealer who won't Guarantee It, Call for your MONEW BACK IF 1T DON’T CURE. F. W. Diemer, M. D., Manufacturer, Springfield, Me. N W N UU =+NO. 50— For Liquor Kindly Mention This Paper. 1905 Morphine Tobacco The Keeley Cure Cures the Craving We have thousands of veterans of the War of the Rebellion in the National Soldiers’ Homes of the country, whose ages range from fifty to eighty years. We have cured several children under five years of age who’ were addicted to morphine and opium, such addictions having been ac- uired through the mother’s own addiction or direct administration. No constitution is too delicate for the Keeley treatment, as the reme- dies are perfectly harmless. We have cured hundreds of soldiers in the regular army of the United States, and have letters from officers ‘of all rank, from Major- Generals to Lieutenants, commending the Keeley Cure in the highest terms. We have cured senators, congressmen, lawyers, clergymen, business men, merchants, laborers, men of all occupations, and of no oc- cupation, to the number of over 400,000. Among them are 17,000 physicians. ~ ONLY ONE GENUINE KEELEY INSTITUTE IN For Particulars Who Takes the Keeley Cure ? Mrs. T. B. Walker, National Vice President Non-Partisan Christian Temperance Union, says: I have paid great attention to the workings of the remedies-diseovered by Dr. Leslie E. Keeley, for the cure of alcohol, opium and tobaceo habits, ever sin¢’they began to attract attention and especially during the past twelve years. It gives me great pleasure to say that I consider them con- plete, thorough and harmless. I am personally acquainted with large num- bers who have taken the ‘‘Cure,” especially forjliquor, and have never known of one being injured thereby, while in nearly every case the cure has been perfect. I lave made thorough personal investigation in very many cases, who have claimed to be injured, and in every instance have found them the victims of other “Cures” than the Keeley. The Swedish Christian Mission Society of the Northwest. Minneapolis, Minn.. May 29, 1903.—It.is with great pleasure J state that the so- called “Keeley Gold Cure” for drunkards has been, as far as 1 have observed it, a blessing. I know especially a neighbor, who was a deep-down drunkard two years ago, but about that time he took the mentioned cure, and has since hot touehed a drop of liquor. His wife is now full of joy, and praises the Lord and@ the Keeley Cure. He. himself, says he has no thirst for liquor. Yours truly. (Signed) E. AUG. SKOGSBERGH, Pastor of Swedish Tabernacle. MINNESOTA. NO SICKNESS OR SUFFERING MINNEAPOLIS KEELEY INSTITUTE, %, 221 Steet som MINNEAPOLIS. ‘ ORDERS FOR FUTURE way '‘ABLISHED 1879. ¢ WOODWARD & CO., GRAIN COMMISSION. DULUTH. Ex! 'D IN ALL MARKETS.