Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, December 12, 1903, Page 7

WOULD BE AN ENGINEER. Julian Hawthorne Is Literary Only by Accident. Julian Hawthorne, whose charming volume of reminiscences of his father, “Hawthorne and His Circle,” the Har- pers are publishing, came into the lit- erary field as Hopkinson Smith did, from that of engineering. Mr. Haw- thorne began life as a hydrographic engineer of the New York dock de- partment. After eighteen months’ work he was rotated out of office. “My profession is not literature, but engi- neering,” he said recently. While I was waiting for another job, after leaving the dock department, I hap- pened to write a short story, for fun, and sent it to Harper's Weekly. It was accepted, and I got $50 for it. That seemed an easy way of making money during the suspension of my profes- sional activities, and I kept at it, al- ways expecting the new engineering work. That was over thirty years ago, and during the interval I have done a good deal of writing, but have never for a moment ceased to hope for an order for a bridge or a canal, It may come some day; I am young yet—only fifty-seven—but I feel that it is not too late to begin serious work again.” His Demand. “What more can you ask?” It was in the private office of one of America’s greatest magnates. That gentleman sat twirling uneasily in his chair, while his sole auditor gazed in- differently through the window, as he slowly shook his head. “Let me récapitulate,” said the magnate, “and perhaps my lord duke, you will reconsider your decision. You wish to marry my daughter. In return for this—in return for the privilege of uniting her with one of the flowers of England’s nobility, namely, yourself— I offer you 400 shares in the stock of the Amalgamate Can Opener company, par value $100; 200 shares in the Gold Hinge Power, par $100; 100 bonds in Compressed Leaves Limited, and a controlling interest in the Fish Scale International. Just think of it!Can it be possible, with this princely offer be- fore you, that you absolutely refuse to marry my daughter?” The duke arose and turned toward the door. “Yes, 1/Pefuse,” be said, cruelly. The desperate magnate strode after him. “What will you consider?” he asked, anxiously. The duke looked back. “It is absolutely necessary,” he said, “that I have $100 in cash.”—Town Topics. The Retort Ambiguous. Bennet Musson, whose novel fairy tale, “Maisie and Her Dog Snip in Fairyland,” is just off the Harper Press, is an actor as well as an au- thor. He tells the following at his own expense: Last winter he was playing in an Eastern cityand a friend of his, who was watching the performance, sat be- hind two strangers who were study- ing their programs between the acts. “T've seen this name, Bennet Mus- son, before,” said one of the men. - “Yes, he’s an author,” said the oth- er. “On.” “What do you think of his acting?” “Well, the first speaker replied, slow- ly, “he may be a good writer.” It Pieases John. John D. Rockefeller makes it a cus- tom to address his servants at morn- ing and evening prayers. One of the maids was asked by a friend if she appreciated the discourses. “I never thought of that,” she re- plied. And then she added: “I only looks at the old man, and I thinks to myself: You poor, dear gentleman, how you are enjoying yourself.”—New York Press Nothing but Opportunities. “Your play as it now stands,” said the dramatic critic, “is calculated to drive men to drink.” “Why do you think that?” asked the author-manager. “Because it is split up into seven acts,” replied the d. c—Chicago News. ABOUT FEAR. Often Comes From Lack of Right Food. Napoleon said that the best fea soldiers were his best soldiers, for fear and nervousness come quickly when the stomach is not nourished. Nervous fear is a sure sign that the body is not supplied with the right food. A Connecticut lady says: “For many years I had been a sufferer from indigestion and heart trouble and in almost constant fear of sudden death, the most acute suffering possible. Dieting brought on weakness, emaci- ation and nervous exhaustion and IT was a complete wreck physically and almost a wreck mentally. “{ tried many foods, but could not avoid the terrible nausea followed by yometing that came after eating until I tried Grape-Nuts. This food agreed with my palate and stomach from the start. This was about a year ago. Steadily and surely a change from sickness to health came until now I have no symptoms of dyspepsia and can walk 10 miles a day without being greatly fatigued. I have not taken a drop of medicine since I began the use of Grape-Nuts and people say I look many years younger than I really am. “My poor old sick body has been made over and I feel as though my head had been too, Life is worth liv- ing now and I expect to enjoy it for many years to come ifI can keep away from bad foods and have Grape- Nuts.” Name given by Postum Co,, Battle Creek, Mich. ere’s @ reason. Took in each package for a capy of Seer ee Jidbits of News ve fra scandinayians SPY SYSTEM OF FINLAND. Domestic and Private Affairs Subject to Surveillance. Reports received from Helsingfors by the Finnish exiles in Stockholm state that financial oppression is fol- lowing fast on the heels of political tyranny in Finland, The czar has sanctioned a system of espionage cov- ering every department of private bus- iness, life and work. The system re- quires a vast number of agents, and Finnish industry is compelled to as- sume the burden, Russian officials assert that these measures are directed against the ac- cumulation of explosives and rifles that might be used against the govern- ment; but the object is to keep the people so thoroughly cowed that Fin- nish intellectual and legal traditions cannot easily be perpetuated. LIKE CURES LIKE. Rational Plan for Removing Taste for Liquor. In some places in Norway drunken- ness is punished by imprisonment. As soon as a man is incarcerated the delinquent has a loaf and wine morn- ing and evening. The bread is served in a wooden bow! full of wine, in which it has been soaking for an hour. The first day the drunkard swallows his ol- lowance willingly enough. The second day it seems less pleasing. At the end of eight or ten days prisoners have been known to abstain altogether from the food thus pitilessly presented. 'This course of treatment finished, the drunkard, except in rare instances, is said to be radically cured. NEW NAMES FOR SALE. Danish Government Will Change : Names for Four Crowns. » It has been found that the people of ‘Denmark bearing names ending with “gen” are not so willing to exchange them for others without the objection- ‘oble appendage as the minister of justice, Alberti, anticipated when, two months ago, he submitted a long list of names from which might be select- ed and adopted a less common name at a cost of but four crowns. Only 120 persons have availed themselves of the privilege of taking a new name up to the present time. Most of these live in Copenhagen. WOULD LIKE THE MONEY. Relatives Searching for the Body of Drowned Son Who Had Some. Martin Nelson of Sturgeon Bay, Wis., has engaged a diver to find the body of his son, Nels, who lost his life when the steamer Hackley was wrecked. Nels had $400 on his person at the time of his death, and it is part- ly to recover this money and partly to a desire to give his son a decent buriol ‘that the father wishes to recover the body. PROTECTION TO FINNS. lassociation Incorporated to Benefit Laborers. The Finnish-American Labor _alli- ance, which has for its object the en- actment of laws favorable to Finland- ers located in the state, has incorpor- ated. The headquarters of the al- liance will be at Duluth, and branches will be located at various places in the state. Alexander Halonen is pres- dent, J. W. Grondahl vice president nd K. Ostenberg secretary. GET THEIR SALARIES. Swedish Royalty Gets Allowances From Storthing. The storthing has granted allow- ances of 336,000, 80,000 and 12,000 crowns to King Oscar, the crown prince and duchess of Dalarne, re- spectively. The Socialists made vain endeavor to secure reductions in the appropriations. Norway’s Exports Growing. Norway’s exports had last year a valnation of 168,457,000 crowns, as against 157,470,000 crowns the previous year. The increase was mainly on dried fish and timber cargoes. The imports amounted to 294,287,000 crowns, as compared to 287,244,000 crowns the preceding year. The in- crease was principally in grains and coffee, In 1891 there was imported rye and barley for 28,000,000 crowns, and last year for fully 33,500,000 crowns. Coffee was purchased in 1901 for about 10,000,000 crowns, lost year for almost 11,333,000 crowns. Monument to Sten Sture. On the 14th inst. it will be 400 years since Sten Sture, the elder, died. In consequence, the Alamanna Sang For- ening in Upsala will give a great con- cert on. that day for the benefit of the ten Sture fund, which is being ac- pumonatoa for the purpose of erecting monument. » Property Cannot Vote. There are 3,022 owners of real estate without political suffrage in Sweden. Twenty-eight of these are, however, eligible to election to the first cham- ber, because they are taxed on real priate to a value of 80,000 crowns or ver. Anti-Tuberculosis Society. The Swedish Physicians’ association ts said to contemplate organizing a atonal society for effectively combat- ing tuberculosis in Sweden. A simi- organization is in existence in SAME TALL FISH STORIES. But the Last One Certainly “Took the Cake.” “When I was fishing in the Arkan- sas bayou,” said the Rev. Dr. J. R. Howerton, “I saw a fish that was 80 game and bold that he jumped up in the air and bit off two feet of my fishing line.” “When Dr. Woods, an eminent di- vine, was fishing somewhere or oth- er,” said the Rev. Dr. John W. Stagg, “he tried to pass his wife’s spectacles to her across a small stream by fast- ening the glasses to the end of his fishing line. An immense fish jumped out of the water and was caught by the rims of the spectacles. When he was drawn out of the water the spec- tacles were pulled across his face, and he was gazing reproachfully through Mrs. Woods’ spectacles.” “When I was down in Mississippi,” said Gen. R. A. Lee, “I struck a lot of fish that were so sporty that all you had to do was to rock a boat and they would jump into it and catch themselves.” 4 “In the Pigeon river, in ‘this state,” said Dr. Howerton, with grim deter- mination writ on his face, “a man was fishing and he used as a sinker a big bullet that came from a revolution- ary battlefield. A large fish caught hold of his hook and pulled so hard that when the hook came out of his gills the bullet fiew back and frac- tured the man’s skull.” “Yes, that’s so,” said W. L. Long. “And the men who live close to that same river catch fish in the most modern way. They no longer use a hook and line, but they lie down by the stream with rifles in their hands, and when the fish—big, fierce, fine fish they are—jump up into the air they shoot ’em with a rifle. I call that fishing some.” “I pass,” said Col, Jeems with a sign.—Boston Post. Howie, A Man of Nerve. He looked admiringly at the tall man who was deep in a game of bil liards. “There’s a man who has the most superb nerve of any one I ever saw,” he said. “Really?” inquiringly. “There is no possible chance for a mistake.” “Did you ever see it tested?” “Well, rather. I saw him at a pri- vate theatrical entertainment one night last week—” “Sometimes it does require nerve to sit through one.” The man who was telling the story seemed provoked at the interruption, but he kept his temper. “His fiancee was in the cast,” he went on, “and he sat there and watch- ed another man embrace her and nev- er so much as gritted his teeth. I tell you, it was as fine an exhibition of nerve as I ever saw anywhere, either before or since.”—New York Times. returned his companion Representative Jacob Ruppert of New York goes to Congress from one of the most congested districts in the metropolis. Like every other member of the house, he has a quota‘of gar- den seeds, but as there isn’t q garden in his district as big as a tablecloth he usually trades them for public doc- uments. Recently he thought the people who live in some of the tenements might want to plant the seems in boxes on the window sills and fire escapes, and he sent an assortment to the inhabi- tants of a model tenement just built by a friend of his. A few weeks later he received a letter reading like this: “My Dear Ruppert: Please send no more seeds to the people who live in my model tenements. I went there to- day and I find they are all raising cabbages, cucumbers and tomatoes in the bathtubs.”—Philadelphia Post. Got His Trousers in Duty Free. Among the passengers of a steam- ship just in from England was a cler- gyman, whose intention it was to take up his permanent residence here. Dur- ing the examination of his baggage, which included surplices, stoles, and other non-dutiable church vestments, the question arose whether the rev- erend gentleman was not called upon to pay duty for the numerous pairs of trousers which he was importing. Said the customs officer: “I am sorry to say, sir, that you must pay duty on these trousers; only the apparel you make use of during divine service can be admitted free of duty.” Whereupon the quick-witted clergy- man exclaimed: “Come, come, my dear man! You surely don’t expect me to officiate in church without my trousers!” So the apparel in question was passed free of charges. If "Tis Love to Wish You Near. If ’tis love to wish you near, ‘To tremble when the wind I hear, Because at sea you floating rove; If of you to dream at night, To languish when you're out of sight,— If this be loving, then I love. If, when you're gone, to count each hour, ‘TO ask of every tender power ‘That you may kind and faithful prove If void of falsehood and deceit, I feel a pleasure when we meet,— If this be loving then I love. ‘To wish your fortune to partake, Determined never to forsake, Though low in poverty we strove; If, so that me your wife you’d call, I offer you my little all,— If this be loving, then I love. —Charles Dibdin. Fig Orchard in New England. James T. Barker, a vell-known and prosperous farmer of Middletown, R. L, has a fig orchard of some 200 trees, and to Mr. Barker belongs the unique distinction of being the only fig farm- er, as as he is aware, in any New England state. a | more than another it’s a man who is | forever talking shop. SWISS'BABY EXCHANGE. for Teaching Children to jpeak Three Languages. The practice of exchanging children by parents living in France and Ger- man Switzerland, in order to enable their boys and girls to learn another language, is spreading greatly in that country. An exchange agency to fur- ther this object has been founded at Zurich. A Swiss child has the oppor- tunity of picking up three languages— French, German and Italian—at prac- tically no cost to the parents. In six months a child is able to converse free- ly, and is then sent to school to learn the grammar and literature of the newly acquired language.—Chicago Tribune. Not Dressed for the Part. “One of the incongruities I’ve ob- served In this big town of late,” re- marked the Stroller, “was presented, in a flunky, who is the doorkeeper of an up-town apartment house. The management requires him to wear a costume consisting of a brown tail coat, cut in the court style; brown knee breeches and stockings, shoes with big silver buckles, and a pow- dered wig. When I saw this bewigged and knee-breeched flunky a week ago he was reading a ‘red fudge’ evening paper’s description of the Yale-Prince- ton football game!”—New York Press. Stops tne Cough and Works Off the Cold Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Price 25e, Consolation. First Poet—I have sent many poems to the Quarterly, but they always come back. Second Poet—That is because you write on both sides of the paper. Since I took to writing only on one side my offerings are invariably retained. I understand that the back of the paper is utilized by the office writers of Quar- terly. That is better than to have one’s works wholly rejected.—Boston Transcript. FITS anently cured. No Nts or nervousness aftor ret dayreuse of De. Kline’s Great Nerve Restor BE Bees for HREM B8-00 trie} bottle and treation RK. H. Kung, Ltd., 981 Arch Street. Philadelphia, Pa In Return, An officer in a cavalry regiment sta- tioned in Dublin attended a ball there. In his own estimation he was a very fine fellow and was very critical about his partners. “May I introduce you to Miss M—?” asked the M.C. She's one of the pret- tiest girls in the town.” The lady in question was near enough to hear the condescending re- mark. When the introduction was ever the officer asked if he might look at her program. Instead of giving it to him with a radiant smile, she in- spected him with a supercilious air, and, turning to the M. C., said: “He won’t do; trot him back.”—Cas- sell’s London Journal. The Real Excitement. “No,” said the athlete, “there isn’t enough excitement in the games any more, I’ve played baseball and foot- pall and polo and shinny and lacrosse, but it seems to me they’re too gentle. What I would like to get into is some kind of sport that insures a hot time and lots of good fighting.” Here his friend suggests, “Why don’t you join a labor union and go on strike ?”—Judge. Bright’s Disease Cured. Whitall, Ill, Dec. 7—A case has been recorded in this place recently which upsets the theory of many phy- sicians that Bright’s Disease is incur- able. .It is the case of Mr. Lon Manley, whom the doctors told that he could never recover. Mr. Manley tells the story of his case and how he was cured in this way: 5: “I began using Dodd’s Kidney Pills after the dectors had given me up. For four or five years I had Kidney, Stomach and Liver ‘roubles; I was a general wreck and at times I would get down with my back so bad that I could not turn myself in bed for three or four days at a time. “I had several doctors and at last they told me I had Bright’s Disease, and that I coutd never get weil. I erommence'l to use Dodd’s Kidney Pills and I am now able to do all my work and am all right. I most heartily recommend Dodd’s Kidney Pills and am very thankful for the cure they worked in my case. They saved my life after the doctors had given me pp.” 3 Two of a Kind. She—If there’s any one I detest He—Yes, he’s almost as tiresome as the woman. who ts constantly talking shopping.—Cassell’s London Journal. eee ee PEERINS PILE SPECIFIC. The Internal Remedy that will cure absolutely any case of Piles. Insist on getting it from your Druggist. Negative Merit. “How is your boy getting along in his new situation?” “Purty good,” answered Farmer Corntossel. “If Josh makes a mistake it’ll be on the safe side. He ain’t like- ly to do enough work to run any risk of bein’ jumped on fur doin’ anything wrong.”—Washington Star. Mrs. Winslow’s soothing syrup fer.chtaren teething, softens the gums, reduces tt» » allays pul. cures wind colic. 25¢ a bottle Apparel oft proclaims the man, but asually the woman claims the ap- parel. A rolling stone does’not make much of an uphill fight. Miss Whittaker, a-prominent club woman of Savannah, Ga., tells how she was entirely cured of ovarian troubles by the use of: Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound. “DeAR Mrs. PrIncHAM:—I heartily recommend Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound as a Uterine Tonic and Ragaintegs I suffered for four years with irregularities and Uterine troubles. No one but those who have experienced this dreadful agony can form any idea of the ph} land mental waihery those endure who are thus afflicted. Your Vegetable Com- pound cured me within three months. I was fully resto: to health and strength, and now my periods are regular and painless. What a blessing it is to be able to obtain such a remedy when 50 ana doctors fail to help you. Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound is better than any tor or medicine I ever had. Very truly yo! Miss E. W. Savannah, Ge” ery truly yours, Miss Easy WuITramERr, 604 39th St, No physician in the world has had such a training or such an. amount of information at hand to assist in the treatment of alk kinds of female illsas Mrs. Pinkham. In her oflice at Lymn, Mass., she is able to do more for the ailing women of America than the family physician. Any woman, therefore, is respensible for her own trouble who will not take the pains to write to Mrs. Pinkham for advice. Her address is Lynn, Mass., and her a@vice is free. A letter from another woman showing what was accomplished in her case by the use of Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound. “Drar Mrs. Prnzuam: I am so to you for the help Lydia E. m’s Vegetable Compound has given me that Ideem it but a small return to write you an expression of my experience, __, ‘Many years suffering with weakness, inflammation, and a broken down system, | made me more anxious to die than live, but Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Com- pound soon restored my lost strength. Taking the medicine only two weeks pro- duced a radical change, and two months re- stored me to perfect health. I am now a changed woman, and my friends wonder at. the change, it is so marvellous Sincerely ours, Miss Marrig Henry, 429 Green St, anville, Va.” The testimonials which we are constantly publishing from. | Fees women prove beyond a doubt the Rae a Lydia E. Pink- am’s Vegetable Compound to conquer female diseases. it ¢ forthwith $5000 FORFE! 'T if we cannot forthwith produce the original letters and signatures 08° which will prove their absolute genuineness. Lydia E. P: Med. Co,, Lynn, Mas. To be sure you are getting Mayer shoes, the best shoes for you to wear, look for the trade-mark on the sole. It is a guarantee of style, fit, comfort and durability, are carefully made from the finest leather that can be se- cured. Buy them if you want good shoes. If your dealer cannot supply you, write to the F, MAYER BOOT & SHOE CO. MILWAUKEE, WIS. cAPSIOUN VASELINE)| DRESSED POULTRY A substitute for and superior to mustard or any other plaster, and will not blister the most delicate skin. The pain-allaying and cygative WANT E Dee GEO. C. CALLAHAN & CO. 217 SOUTH WATER ET. qualities of this article are wonderful. ill WRITE FOR PRICES AND TAGs. HICAGO. stop the toothache at once, and relicve head- THRIFTY FARMERS ache and sciatica. We recommend itas the best and safest external counter-irritant known, also are invited to settle in the state of Maryland, where they will find a delightfu) apd healthy elfmate, as an external remedy for pains in the chest and stomach and all rheumatic, neuralgic and lass markets for their ‘and Stand class markets for | Stireawnabie prices, Map and Geveriptive pempie Jets will be sent free on appifcation to gouty complaints. A trial will prove what we H. BADENHOOP, claim for it, and it will be found to be inyalu- | Sec’y State Board of Immigration, BALTIMORE, MD.. able inthe household, Many people say “itis the best of all your preparations.” Price 15 cents, at all dragegists or other dealers, or by sending this amount to us in postage stamps we will send you a tube by mail. No article should be accepted by the public unless the same carries our label, as otherwise it is not genuine. CHESEBROUGH MFG. CO., 17 State Street, New Yorx Crry, Views of Atlantic City at its best matled to anyone sending us name and address of two or more friemis GAY who are suffering from Catarrh. J. C. RICKEY & CO. $14 WaLNuT St.. Px ESTABLISHED 1879. woos, Woodward & Co., Grain Commission, ==. ORDERS FOR FUTURE DELIVERY EXECUTED IN ALL MARKETS. NMNEEERTIVLC DARE