Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, May 2, 1903, Page 4

\ ~—-Potato, potatoes; “A Few Dashes. Af you want to make as dife, get busy and. iecepebwsm co The man with a fad is all right— bat is as Jong as he keeps his fad to hi ig [ { himself. Tt is a great deal better to scatter seeds of | vals teste oes it is lo sow ~ wild nats. A Prince Henry’ tto the United States was notin vain after all. A “new spring suit has been named after him. > Englatia is having a deal of trouble with her emigrants. She starts them off for South, Africa but seme-how-or other they turn up in Canada. An eminent French doctor has in- ented a: perfectly harwiless bullet, Ut is now in order for duels to become much more popularin that countrys. The wise farmer, if he has. boys, will not introduce any trotting blood among his horses. A man can e first ‘lass boys and draft horses to- ether, but a 2340 trotter on the farm has sent many a boy to the devil. According to Ralph Wheelock, the _farmers of Nebraska ace fearful of a ‘hired man trust this suimmer, and are already hanging up prizes for all season contracts. Oné farmer offers to do all the milking, feeding the pigs, rubbing down the horsos, weed pulling, harness oiling, wood spliting und corn plowing if he can get a man ‘Lo help him with*haying and harvest- ing, and to hitcu up twice a week and go to town for Uhe nail; working hours to be from 9a.m., lod p. m., anda six o’clock diuner. | Stili be has jad no applications and fears for the worst. ne Page of the House Is Thoroughly Up to Date. A certain member nouse, who was defeated for re- n, had for four years as a favorite one of the little pages of. thé house. The mem- ber was constantly doing little things to please the boy, of whom he was ‘very fond. , When the member returned this fin'er the page seemed to be un- aware of his existence. He never vis- ited him, and failed to take luncheon with him. as he had often done. The _member, mystifie?. called him one day and inquirca the reason for the breaking off of the friend: “Well, it's this “way,” replied the page, “You have been defeated, and I am ecniy playing favorites, so, you see. 1 can’t be bothered with ycu any quore.” A Question for Teachers. Who will te!l me what is the plural of O? Is it “os” or “oes”? Tomatoes is the plural, cf tomato; stilletos is faid to be the plural of stilletto. Here Bre some examples of inconsistency: negro, negroes; buffalo, buffalces; hero, heroes; dado, dlados; toe, toes; caxto, cantos; alto, altos; volcano, volcanoes; no, noes; pro, pres; tyro, tyros; wo, woes; oc tayo, octavos; palmetto, palmetioes; grotto, grottoes; duello, dnellos; car- BO, cargoes; libretto, librettos, etc. You may have observed that our high and mighty dictienaries studiously avoid giving the plurals to *these words, and to others ending in o. The mght of an educated author to spell as he pleases should never be ques- tioned. A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of petty minis—New York Press. Schwab Early Showed Ability. Andrew Carnegie recently told a story on himself. He said some years zgo he wanted to cross a mountain in Pennsylvahia, and a youngster of rather hardy appearance offered to take him over for 50 cents. Carnegie / thought the price too, great, and told the boy he would pay him only 25 cents. After a long argument, in Which each stuck to his price, the youngster won out, and Mr. Carnegie says he allowed the lad to collect the 50 cents, not because the trip was worth it, but because he haa to get on | | occurred. other side of the mountain. “I predicted that the boy would some make a fortune,” said Mr. Car- negie, “and he has. His name is Charles M. Schwab.”—Washington Gorrespondence New York Sua. Old-Time Stocks in England. A recent wish expressed by a mazg- trate at stratford, England, that cer- tain prisoners could be punished b7 confinement in the stccks recalls the fact that some of those instruments of punishment still exist in that coun- try. There is one at Havering-atte- Bower, not many miles from Strat ford, and anctker is to be found on the village green of Aldbury. Near - the church at Brant Peiham is a rath- er notable example. The upright post _, Was used as a whipping post and sul retains the iron by which the culprit was secured while receiving his cas- tigation. Sturry, near Canterbury, has also preserved its stocks. Myrtle Vinton at opera “house on the 9th. if and So Affirmed. “The world is gone mad on streneth and shape, says “Tip” in the New York Press.» pers are alive methods of, acquirin Hercules, the arms of Veuns, the neck of Juno, the bust of Vesta, the waist of, Josephine, ,the .hips*of Diana, the legs of Cleopatra. Minerva“is for tho” moment in the background. No hope | for wisdom now! Women are. dis- played in impossible positions and ag: | vised to repeat certain poses. Mrs. | ear asked Mrs, Butex, “How do you | eep your front so, fiat, my dear?” Mrs. Butex replied: “Oh, [-am under. instructions. Thirty times in the morning and thirty times in the even- ing I pick up each foot in my hands | and. touch the tee to the tip of my. ear. You can have no idea how much | it has reduced my front, certainly several inches ard some pounds.” “Do you stand up and do that?” “Necessarily; stand on one foot while the other is in the air.” “Merciful heavens!” iS of AGREED ON THEIR VERDICT. Jurymen Had Made Up Their Mines, At Fort Scott (Kan.) the otnet day | a jury in the District court returned a verdict find a certain accused © person guilty c: y, The verdict had not been prep nical fcrm desired and the judge sent the jury back to make the necessary correcticns. The jury was gone for half an heur, and when it retprned it brought in. a verdict a itting the prisoner. Put a verdict even more amusing was perpetrated by a jury at Pittsburg. The case was a criminal! one, and after a few minutes’ consul- tation the jury filed into the box from its room. “Have you agreed upon a | verdict?” asked the judge. “We'have,” responded th passing it over. “The cl judge. And th jury, agree to Worn Only Twice, The Scandinavian bridegroom pre sents to his betretaed a prayer-book and many other rifts, whica us include a goose. , in turn, gives him, especially in Sweden, a suirt, and this he invariably wears on his wed ding day. Afterwards he puts it away, | and in no circumstances will he wear it again while alive. in his grave, ard there are Swedes | who earnesilys believe not only in the | resurrection ot the bedy, but in the | veritable resurrection of the betrothal shirts of such nusbands as f j hroken any of their marriage The Swedish widower must destroy on the eve o: his second marriage the bridal shirt which his first wife gave him. 9 Couldn’t Be Very Sure. The recent St. Andrew’s dinzers, ac- cording to the Westminster Gazette, | have been, noteworthy for the profu- sion of Scotch stories. which in sey-| era) cases fairly set the tables in a_ rear. Some-of them have an ancient ring, but there is one that is perhaps not generally known. A doctor was attending a dangerous case where a Scotch butler was engaged. On calling in the forenoon he said to Donald: “I hope your master’s temperature is much lower to-day than was last night.” “I’m no’ sae very ‘Sure aboot that,” replied the butler, “for he dee’d’ this morning.” Worth Watching. | A treasury official was fortunate | encrgh the other day to get half a ton | of coal. The precious fuel was depos- {ted on his sidewalk late in the after- noon and a colored man agreed to put it away for a quarter. When he had finished the job the man prestnted a bill for 35 cents. “Why, I thought you said a quarter,” said the officeholder. “A quarter for putting it in, but 10 cents extra to pay a man to watch it. You see, if some one had taken a cou- ple of handfuls you would have lost at least half a dollar.”—New _ York World. The Sleepy Hour of Night. A head-on collision between twe freight trdins on the Southern Pacific in California was due to the careless- ness of the engineer of one of the trains, who slept at his post and paid the forfeit with his Jife. Manzger Al- ger of the Southern Pacific says that the company has greet trouble on ac- count of men succumbing to sleep be- tween 3 and 4 in the morning. This was the time at which the accident It is the sleepy hour that affects men more than any other of the day cr night. | | How to Achieve Success. | Often we see bright boys who have | worked, perhaps for years, on small salaries, suddenly jumping, as if by magic, into high and responsible posi- tions. Why? Simply because, while their employers were paying them but a few, “@ollars a’Week, they were, pay- ing themselves vastly more in the fine quality of their work, in the enthusi- asm, determination and high purpose they brought to their tasks, and in increased insight into business, meth- ods.—Success. i | A Puzzled Youngster. | “Mamma,” said a little boy, “when | were George Washington and England married?” “Why, Lawrence,’ an- swered the mother, “what do you mean? - Washington was a man and England is a country. ‘They could not be married, my dear.” “Then,” replied the youthful philosopher, “I don’t see why they call Washington the Father of his Country and England the Mo er Country, if they were not marric DEFECTIVE PAGE But he wears it | p 8 to Relicve Sufferers. Maneekjee Wadia, C. 1. B., has, set-aside a sum ‘of money ete lent “to $5,000,000, . the ‘interest,, the muscle. of | Which. is: to be devoted to give relief, to those who find. themselves. sud- pase deprived of meazs of subsistence’ great enlamities, such as fire, fam- fee or earthquake. In order that’ his charity should: be. far! reaching) in ‘its | @ffects, the scope of the: trust will not i be confined to-one: place or. ccuniry, but, will be extended to ail parts.of the world., .Mr. Wadia belongssto an an cient. Parss who havo, during the course of a cen- tury. and # half, built 356 isen-of-war and other vessels.. The*Wadias ren- dered great service to the French gov- ernment, and as an,act of recognition | Napcleon Bonaparte’ presented’ the great-grandfather of: the present Mr. Wadia with the Legion 6f Honor, and | his: grandfather was awarded a gold | Mr. Wadia | medal by Louis*Philippe. has given away large sums of money | in charity, and lately bedded the Bom- bay Martinique Relief Fund with a large donacion. WAS THE DEACON’S TURN. Drunkard’s Advice to Pillar of a Phil- | adeiphia Church. A drunken man’ staggered into a | church in Philadelphia some years ago | and: sa@t’down in the pew of one of | the deacons. The preacher was dis- coursing about prevalent vices. Soon he exclaimed. the drunkard?” The dru just far enous “Where is personal, so, , replied: “Here I am,” and remained’ standing while the drunkard’s character and fate were cloquently portrayed. A few minutes later th “Where is the rerite ?’” Gently nudging his n tre drunkard said, in an dible whisper “Stand | up, deacon; means you this time. Stand up and t it like a man, just as I stand! It will do you good.” The Invincible Country Boy. A glance at a list of the great men of the big cit will prove bey: a doubt that the country-bred boy is far superior to his city-born cousin in point of busi- ness and necedial nal ability and gen- y reasons are ad- that nail on the h is that the youngster of t} ne mEuES 3 work, one of s a sticker, too, rho is ¥ uling to start in at the bot- i find a country boy d'a sticker he is whe Fs aw invincible. A Test. of Faith. “Now, brother,” said the conserva- tive, “I want’to convince you that your what you call kigher criticism is | wrong, and that the oniy way to dois to take the Bible as a simple act of | I have answered every one of | faith. your arguments looking at it you believe as ve,” asked ‘his » ‘literally be- lieve, that the whale was swallowed | by Jonah?” “Of c the conservative, e other observed, over shoulder, “I am afraid you will never conyince me of that. Good night.”—Washington I do!” replied rly. “Well,”.the | Times. Animal Food. According to Scotsman—and he must be now very old indeed—who w addicted to par- simony, was found By a visitor to be manifestly su: from want of food. He was stron to take some animal food, and promised that he would; but presently thought better of it and thus delivered his final ver- dict: “Weel,” he said, “I’m willing to try a turnip or maybees an onion, but I’m blest if I'll eat straw.” The decision showed which way the wind blew with him.—London Globe. Not a Protest. Representative Mudd of has frequently been in conflict with the other members of h over the question of patronage. last I have succeeded ip placing two men without receiving protests from every other member of the delega- tion,” declared M they? harles C. and John Hai most distingu 1 of Carrollton ed sons.” Mr. Mudd meant the two new bronze statues Maryland has placed im Statuary hall. An Easy Solution. The duke of Wellington, while a member of the British ministry, once turned a crawn battle into a glorious victory. When the news of the bloody | action of Ferozhuhr, in India, arrived | there was great consternation in the ministry; ue. Sir Robert Peel was much affect- ed at the council taking a most gloomy view, when the duke, lighting up, said: “Make it a victory; fire a .Salute and ring the bells”; and so it was ordered and done. The Season. “Ah!” sighs the gentle damsel, “sea the bare limbs on the beech. Doez not thet bring for’ to one’s mind the sorrowful fact that summer has gone? How many pleasant recollec Yionas of summer such a sight cally ap, don't you think?” “Well, ‘to tel yeu the truth,” replied .the candid youth, “I have never been -on the beach In summer.”“—Judge. ‘J. -P.; a’ Parsee millionaire of Bombay, s2 family of shipwrights, popular | reacher reached an- | s of the United States | s of the country | , but the one | You can’t keep. him down. a contemporary an old | Maryland | delegation | “at | Who are } in, two of Maryland’s | at best if, was a drawn bat: | er worked for John’ D. Rockefelie: once,” said +a well-known 1h gardener of this city. “Qne morning I Was: out in| the grounds doing, some ‘work among tho, plents and flowers, and es I worked I ‘smoked. Pret socn the cld man strolled out that wa: and when he came up to where Iwas, said in a quiet way: ‘I never had any mercy: to burn.’ I didn’t tumple fora | Second, and he stoed. there looking at me. few dollars,’ he continued, “but I never. had any money to burn.’ me-all at once,what he meant and L! threw the cigar away: Next morning: when he came around there I wasn't smoking. He came up with a smile + on his face ard s; ‘Well, the stove: isn’t going to-day.’”—Columbus (0.) State Journal. ¢ i TOO EARMEST IN. HIS WORK. Old Colored Mrn’s Humcrous Warn: (eae ing to His Employer. A southern member of who, lives in a Waszineton hotel has: | for his personal | ored man t | ed... The negro, by virtue of lorg servi- | tude, has come to acsume considerable, authority over .h employer. ; Congressman visited by..some friecds the everirg tha host o ng them a drink cf whisky, say- ing he was about to take one himself, hoping to break up a cold. The party ree or four drinks, and tae jug was about to be passed again, wnen ; the negro servant. made things very | embarrassing to the host.‘by saying: “Deed, sah, you said.you was a-takin’ | this yer whisky to break up a cold. | Pears like they was tryin’ to break up a hull winter.” Wants State to Feed Legislators. | Representative Louis J. Tichacek of | ' St. Louis will introduce a bill in the legislature I providing that the state ; Shall furnish its legislaters -with rooms and beard during their stay in. H | | Jefferson city. Mr. Tichacek says he | is tired of rabbit pie and tough beef- | steak and that as things are now a} the legislative «session ¢an hardly | meet his. expenses. He wants the | | legislature to appropriate $50,000 for the establishment of a hotel, which se: ion and by state officials at other “Then,” says he, “if the | fails to supply stan- ub ‘the-state can be-held re onsible.”” times. | spi Chicago’s Centennial. Chicago _ Historical The society, | tarough its executive commitise, has | expressed in favor of the commemor- | ation and celebration on Aus. 1, 1903, | as the centennia! anniversary of: the | founding of Chicago. Resolutions were. adopied in which the committee calls | attenticn to the, fact that; the, date chosen marks the passage of one hun- dred years since the Federal troops, | | commanded by Lieut. Swearingen, es- tablished Ft. Dearborn at the’ mouth of the Chicago river and lald the foun- dation of Chicago. The ‘occasion, in | the-cpinion of the committee, marks? | the real beginning. of. the city’s his- | tory, rather than the arrival of John | Kinzie, as has been suggested. Mountaineer’ Bishop Coleman of Selaware goes on a tramp through the mountains’ of West Virginia every summer and, of course, has many odd. experiences. Last summ clad in old and dust- | covered cl s, he entered. an inn | where several mountajneer; sat talk- ing. One of with characteristic | hospitality invited him to ‘take a drink, clined. “Do you eat hay?” said the native. “Why, no, my friend,” said the stranger wondcringly. “Then,” said the mountaineer with scorn, “I x you are fit company for st.’ Come, boys, let’s take Friends Theught Him Dead. Ex-Congressman Outhwaite of Oniog. | has been visiting Washington and was | surprised. to find that mearly. every- body thought him dead. A Joseph H. Ohio died recently, and rally announced that ormer member of con- | rted the land of “Fifty: times’ during the | days,” said Mr. Outhwaite, seen a startled look come into } the eyes of acaqu ces when I met them. ‘Great Scotti, ma , they will exclaim, ‘I thought you were dead.’” e no fewer than fifteen who were all punctually Besides the beautiful toilettes, by the bride’s father, they each ived $25 for appearing in the wed- ding train. Some of the young ladies receive as much as $100 for the “office of honcr,” while one woman, who is much sought after for her beauty, has appeared a8 bridesmaid at more than 200 weddings, and has in’a short time tork th bridesrmai | paid. receiving many costly presents. Novels Read by Statesmen. Senator Platt of Connecticut ha } pened inte a house committee rcom | and found Congressman Metcalfe of California reading. “A novel?” quer- | fed the Yankee gravely. “Yes.” “Say, Metcalfe, do you like detective stories —the one with villians in’em?” The Jifornian showed him the titfe page + pf the book he had been perusing. ‘It was aregular “Old Sleuth” affair. “So |'do 1” said Platt, and then the two | statesmen began to discuss ‘this par | | weular brand of Siterature. | ~ ‘I have managed to put away-a 4 It came to! Congress | an eld cok" ¢ is much attach: |* The ( man who-lives in decent shape during \] could be used by members during the. | | but the bishop courteously de- |’ amassed quite a little fortune, hesides | , ete ] ae ah goods ‘that will that are superb, and thar’ ---the hundreds of of Man.” Call and age"! | Jolinsin: The Tailor, } please Qu, styl Ineed anno mi suits worn in Grand 49 Rapids to-day/attest to itd skilbas ay aaa % o —- A. i WILDER,¢ Prop. ’ FIRST-CLASS IN EVRY RESPECT! 7 > Sample Room‘aiid Livery: in Connection. 4 Special Altention Given to’ Transrent Trade. Fleadguarters for Liembermenm “aes iSaleal Pe ales isa a a Fe SRC Ta ~ ear! i si Us Well,' Well! With a pull line of Windows and Door the most complete line west of Duluth: Here We’ Are Again! Wer hove We also have a@ large line of Screen Doors and Windews, all sizes, all colors, and all prices. j3Ve also eal a tudl line a Meats ate ae ea te ete eat ae ae ete eae te Re tee ee ee ete ee Dehdiahs inbdalnh datas) east Tuba Dds shea de shcod che tacolohcoh ele dst se de sae aicededd cds chcohoobschoelocdesbtobcobeshiaheibiehe tie’ se bes ‘ of Plasterers? Cemént and Wall Tater HE a EA ok Me ae ae ESE SET RE seenn sones B Favorite Resort © Cabinet Rye Whiskey” Rapids, We nand}e the finest, whiskes, NORTHERN CAFED me t. Anugiatienctedper 4 the se: John O'Riley, Prop.) eodedht ta bots lost bpd x A ATE AT Hee aE SAE EH, in connectién—open day ang 1 servediat all hours: Material, such as Call on. y eh BGKE de tla FR at the Luanber Offige, or for refres of the largest phonographs fu'the world is at JNO. O'REILY’S Sample Reo ‘ The Northern. ‘Doc. NSP Tere et tse Bee? 'GEO. BOOTH, “BOOTH’S CIGARS”. ue wen eae - Fine o p Line ments and whére may be seen and heard ones ‘a’ most delightful be a Gf. Hair, re 7 hone No. es % ge ways ine aire. Awepb-for It. Gragd Sy & te cs * a & 2 = = ES & a od ee Welsh, Chef a Fd ser dengs Pe ded FS Re gee bebo! ad ah eee 4 q ‘ i ¢ Ce aa | ral) eben My 5 GRAND RAPIDS, A//NN Minnesota. lgers| ? Have achieved an éeailank fl of the finest selected stock by experienced workmen in Mr. Booth’s own shops here, and under bis persenal supervision. | Thi i For sale everywhere. sures the utmost cleanliness and care. in mana tacture: Call for them. reputation all over Northern; Theysare+made | d G SS SSSS SS eSSSSS 25 Saree INEST; MODER INUNG CARS) ACERS CARTE 4 a we ys ee 0) x oh Te |