Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, September 27, 1902, Page 7

—" } lj NERVOUS. PROS TRATION Mrs, Ida L. Gregory, President of the Peets and Authors Club of Colo- rado, President of Colorado Art Club, Director of School of Indus- try and Design, Vice President of Sherman Art League, is One of the Leading Club Women of Colorado. In a recent letter from 2 Grant ave- nue, Denver, Colo., this prominent lady Bays: «Some years ago my husband suffered from nervous prostration and advising with a friendly drug- gist he brought home a bottle of Peruna. His health was restored from its use, his appetite was in- creased and restful sleep came to him. I therefore heartily endorse Peruna, as an honest remedy worthy the good things which are said of it.”’"—Ida L. Gregory. Nervous prostration is so frequently associated with systemic catarrh that some doctors do not distinguish between the two. In systemic catarrh the dis- ease has pervaded the whole system and there is a constant loss of vital fluids from the mucous membranes. A great many people are doctoring for nervous prostration who would be im- mediately cured by a course of Peruna. Peruna makes clean, heaithy mucous membran By this preservation of the en en) SYSTEMIC GATARRH. [Pe-ru-na is the only Systemic Catarrh Remedy known to the Medical Profession] pO re" fluids the weakening drain of their discharge is prevented. The medical profession is just begin- ning to awaken to the fact that chronic catarrh,especially systemic catarrh, will soon produce a condition so nearly re- sembling nervous prostration that it is very difficult to tell one from the other. Peruna cures these cases without fail. If you do not derive prompt and satis- factory results from the use of Peruna, write at once to Dr. Hartman, giving a full statement of your case, and he will be pleased to give you his valuable ad- vice gratis. Address Dr. Hartman, President of The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, 0. Up Against It. Tired Tatters—Here’s a piece in dis paper wot’s an insult to de profesh. Weary Walker—Wot’s it, say? Tired Tatters—It sez dat a feler ortn’t ter eat nuttin when he’s tired. Weary Walker—Well, wot’s de mat- d dat? ‘ 1 Tatters—Wot’s de matter wid , do youse want er feller ter starve ter death?—Chicago News. Proof Positive. Lady—You say you were a soldier and a hero in the late war? Tramp—Yes’m. Lady—How can you prove your v Tramp—Give me a match and I'll light your gasoline stove for you.—De- troit Free Press. Hall’s.Catarrh Cure Is a constitutional cure. Price, 75 ceats The Umpire. (With Apologies to Kipling.) Miss Beacon Street (of Boston)— Can you recall the name of the poem in which Kipling speaks of “a rag, a bone and a hunk of hair?” Miss Breezy (of Chicago)—Let me see. Oh, yes—“The Umpire.”—Judge. aray’s Sweet Powders for Children sfuly used by Mother Gray, nurse in the Children’s Home in New York. Cures Feverishness, Bad Stom- ech, Teething Disorders, move and reg- ulate the Bowels and Destroy Worms. Over 30,900 testimonials. At all drug- gists, 25c. Sample FREE. Address Allen S. Olmsted, LeRoy, N. L. His Conscience at Work. Grandma—Willie, I don’t want you to play with Sammy Hill any more. Willie—Why not? Grandma—Because he is a bad little Willie—Well, look-a-here, I ain’t so doggone good myself that you ought to be a-kickin Detroit Free Press. One of nature's remedies; cannot harm the weakest constitution; never fails to cure summer complaints of young or old. Dr. Fowler's Extract of Wild Strawberry. A woman has no use for a man who is without charity for other women. She wants a monopoly in that particu- lar line herself. FARMS WISCONSIN in DUNN, ST. CROIX aad INTIES make the best homes on earth. BARRON COUNTIES Tones Some timber Springs Sad streams numerous. No swamps or burned over districts, but good, genuine hardwood soil, free from sand and pine stumps; 59miles east of ¢. Paulon Wisconsin Central R. I. Improved and jid Lands for Sale. Send for CATALOG. D.C. , Sesretary, Dowding, Dunn County, Wisconsin, ‘APH ‘TAUGHT BY A SUPT. TELEG OF TELEGRAPH. out question the best ~rofession of the aon eeascinating: good salaries, Thousands af ositions and no operatorsfor them! Every Graduate gets salary from very start. SHORTHAND TAUGHT BY A COURT REPORTER. The Wallace School, Ryan Bldg. ST. PAUL. Expert Teaching Only. $250n Also B.B. Pumps “2't* 5 TON and Windmills, exicxa BECKMAN BROS.., Des MOINES, IOWA. pei AOD ie REN ate HAT YOU CAN SAVE ‘We make all kinds of scales. Close Competition. “We are living in a rapid age,” I say to my friend, as we note the fall an- nouncement of changing styles. “Yes,” he agrees. “We are making history rapidly,” I further remark. “True,” he mutters; “but not so fast as we are making historical nov- els.”—Judge. Explained. Thomas—Why, don’t you recollect that girl? That’s the girl you used to rave over last summer—you called her a “poem” and all that kind of thing. Edward—By Jove! so it is! But, you know, I never could commit a poem to memory.” One Way. “But how, pray, can a man be his own worst enemy?” “Well, I should think it might rather easily come about through his trying to raise flowers and keep hens, too,” observed the suburbanite, after a mo- ment’s reflection.—Tit-Bits. He Stays at Home. Mrs. Gossip—I suppose you're car- ful to make your husband tell you ev- erything that happens to him? Mrs. Strongmind—Better than that. I’m careful to see that nothing hap- pens to him.—Philadelphia Press. Had Crazy Spells. West Pembroke, Me., Sept. 22.—The thirteen-year-old daughter of Mrs. A. L. Smith suffered with a peculiar afilic- tion, which her mother describes as follows: “It is two years now since she was first taken with crazy spells. “They kept on coming at intervals, and I could get nothing to do her any good. “The doctors gave me no encourage- ment. They all said they could not help her. “The crazy spell would last about nine days, then she would. be well about nine days, but would eat very little and was very yellow. Even the whites of her eyes were yellow. “I heard that Dodd’s Kidney Pills were a great remedy for young girls, and decided to try them. “After taking one box she was com- pletely restored, and she has not had one bad spell since. Of course we continue to use the pills, and she used altogether five boxes last fall. “In March I thought I saw symptoms of the spells again, and I got six boxes, of which she has taken four, and is in splendid health. “Her case was certainly a remarka- ble one, and we are very thankful to Dodd’s Kidney Pills for the great good they have done my daughter.” The Feminine View. Wederly—Remarkable thing about the disappearance of $27,000 from a safety-deposit vault belonging to a bookmaker. Mrs. Wederly—Yes; and the most remarkable thing about it is that he had it to lose. iS Wederly—Why so? Mrs, Wederly—Oh, most writers complain that literature don’t pay.— Chicago News. Man of Expedients. “Mixem, the chemist, has maae his fortune at last,” says the friend. “But I thought he couldn’t find any sale at all for his cough mixture,” an- swered the other friend. “He couldn’t; so he labeled it ‘gen- uine maple syrup,’ and sold every drop of it the first cool day we had. Now he is rushed with orders for it.”— » Judge. EXPERIENCE SURE TO TELL. Suffrage Would Be Given to Women if Controversy Ceases. In the matter of suffrage for women or coeducation for boys and girls, nothing but experiment freely made, and judged upon by tne results, can give us the verdict by which the peo- ple will abide, as the Poston Chris- tian Register says. Gov. Long made a wise remark at the Unitarian fes- tival in Boston when he said: “I some- times tell our woman suffrage friends that, if they would not go to the leg- islature for ten years, if they would drop the subject entirely, and let it lie fallow, and ten years from now start it as a new thing, it would strike everybody as so simply plain and right that any person, whether man or woman, who bore a part of the burdens of the government should have a voice in it, they would carry their case without an argument.” As a believer in this movement, he held that, taken out of. the field of con- troversy, it would justify itself to the minds of the people. Whether so or not, that which the people believe in they will enforce, and that which they de not believe in cannot be forced upon them, ONLY TIME HE EVER WORKED. Gilded Youth Proudly Points to One Mark in His Life. “I don’t believe that you ever worked a day in your life,” said the young man whose father’s shattered fortunes had compelled him to go out into the world and earn his bread. The other young man, whose father still had his money, turned rather un- easily at this attack, and then he said with some spirit: “You don’t know what you are talk- ing about, that’s all. It’s simply a case of sour grapes with you. “Do you mean to say that you ever worked?” retorted the other. “I do,” said the son of the rich man. “And when did you ever work?” in- terrupted the recently poor youth. “When I was about seven months old,” was the answer. “You see, I swallowed a yeast cake.” “Well, I guess that is the only rea- son you're swell, then,” said his com- panion as he turned on his heel. WANTED THE SAME AGREEMENT. Financial Acumen Shown by Woman Pleased P. D. Armour. “Diamond Joe” Reynolds relates this story of the late Philip Armour of Chicago, who, in answer to an inquiry if he was not often troubled by those in need of assistance, answered: “Every day. Ihave one impecunious near relative who is forever impor- tuning me for help. Finally I shut down on him. A few days ago when he came to this office I refused to see him. He went home and pestered me with letters. Finally I told my finan- cial man to write him that if he would agree not to worry me for two years I would let him have $500. He wrote back, ‘Make it five years and $1,000.’ “That was so like an Armour,” said Mr. Armour, with a chuckle, “that I let him have it. Well, in about two weeks I got a letter from his wife saying that, as she had not been a party to the contract, she hoped I would make the same arrangement with her.”—New York Times. An Australian Statesman. The erratic Earl of Hopeton is a warm friend of Sir George Dibbs of Sydney, the man who has occupied the center of the political stage in Australia for many years. He has been premier several times, as well as colonial treasurer and colonial secre- tary. He is six feet four inches in his socks, and there is not a more expert blacksmith on the island continent. He'‘and Lady Dibbs have been blessed with fifteen children. When a strang- er visits him it is his delight to put a bit of brass or other metal in his lathe and turn out a pair of studs or sleeve buttons. He built his own windmill, his launch, his brick kitchen and his grape arbors, and would as lief kick an obstreperous politician out of his house as to go a-fishing. His launch he built in jail while un- ‘dergoing punishment for refusing to pay costs in a libel suit. For twelve months ‘he was incarcerated, but he declares he never had a better time. | he is 68 years old and immensely rich. The London Sewer Hunter. The London sewer hunter before commencing operations provides him- self with a bullseye lantern, a canvas apron and a pele some seven or eight feet in length, having an iron attach- ment at one end somewhat in the shape of a hoe. For greater conyeni- ence the lantern is invariably fixed tc the right shoulder, so that when walk- ing the light is thrown ahead, and when stooping its rays shine directly to their feet. Thus accoutered they walk slowly along through the mud, feeling with their naked feet for any thing untsual, at the same time rak- ing the accumulation from the walls and picking from the crevices any ar- ticle they see. Nothing is allowed tc escape them, no matter what its value provided it is not valueless. Old iron, pieces of rope, bones, current coin of the realm and articles of plate and jewelry—all is good fish which comes to the hunter's net. Metals Do Not Perish. A French scientist has concluded that oxidized metals are finally trans- formed again into ore, and will ulti- mately collect under ground for fu- ture miners to dig up. Appropriate epitaph for a barten- der: “He had a ‘smile’ for every. hady.” ‘ Not Up to His Own Estimate. There!” said one old erony to an- other, to whom he was showing the lions of the Scottish town, “that’s the statue of Bailie Watson.” Is it no a gude bit larger than life- size, though?” queried his friend. ‘Oh, aye, it’s a’ that; but it’s no’ a hit bigger than the Bailie thocht he was himself.”—Tit-Bits. é Pa Knew. “Pa, what does ‘absent-minded’ mean?” “My boy, that’s easy. stop to think?” “Yes.” Met your thoughts ran on?” Yas.” “Well, News. Did you ever that’s _it.”—Indianapolis A Hard Pillow. Weary Willie—Modern improve- ments may be fine, but they have their drawbacks. Tired Traddles—For instance? Weary Willie—When a fellow sneaks into a stable to sleep nowadays he finds nothing in it but baled hay.— Judge, At Last. The landlady was speaking. “Mr. Barnestorme, how do you like your eggs?” The tragedian’s face relaxed into an expression of joy. “Hard-boiled” he cried. ! Until that moment people had wil- fully mistaken his taste.—Baltimore Herald. A HARVEST OF COLDS. Nearly everybody is, now suffering from some form of a cold. ‘The best and most reliable ey known is Cole’s Cough Cure, All good druggists, 25 and 50 cents. Takes It Out in Trade. A&cum—I notice Mr. Kloseman’ has become a regular attendant at church. When did he get religion? Brownie—He didn’t. It’s just busi- ness with him. He loaned Rev. Mr. Gassaway $10 some time ago, and he’s had to take it out in pew rent.—Phila- delphia Press. Ladies Can Wear Shoes One size smaller after using Allen’s Foot-Ease, a powder. It makes tight or new shoes easy. Cures swollen, hot, sweating, aching feet, ingrowing nails, corns and bunions, All druggists and shoe stores, 25c. Trial package FREE by mail. Address Allen S. Olmsted, LeRoy, N. Y. PATENTS, List of Patents Issued Last Week to Northwestern Inventors, William Gregg, Minneapolis, Minn., cane unloading machine; Charles Haginn, Minneapolis, Minn., fire-proof flooring; Frederick Hyatt, St. James, Minn., washing machine; Kistel Osel, St. Paul, Minn., flush car door; David Wellman, Frazee, Minn., flax harvest- er; Isaac Wepello, Baudon, Minn., ro- tary steam engine. Lothrop and Johnson, +912 Pioneer Press Bldg., St. patent attorneys, 911 Paul, Minn. A Bumper Crop. Subbubs—You just ought to see my crop of corn! It’s the most promis- ing in all the Lonesomehurst district.” Townley—You don’t say! If you have more than two messes, don’t for- get me, will you?—Puck. To Cure a Cold in One day. Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All druggists refund money if it failstocure. 25c, Johnny’s Logical Request. Johnny—Mamma, should we for other people? Mother—Certainly, Johnny. Johnny—Well, then, can’t you say my prayers for me after this?—Phila- delphia Ledger. pray Piso’s Cure for Consumption is an infallible medicine for coughs and colds.—N. W. SAMUEL, Ocean Grove, N. J., Feb, 17. 1900. Getting Rid of His Enemies. First Small Boy—Did you throw any old shoes after your sister when she got married? Second Small Boy—Not much! I threw all my mother’s slippers.—Phil- adelphia Record. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup.’ For children teething, softens the gums, reduces in- flammation, allays pain, cures wind colic. 25ca bottle. Tempted by the Dessert. Little Mabel (who has been allowed to join the diners at dessert, provid- ing she keeps very quiet—Mamma, will that dessert hurt me, or is there enough to go ’round?—New York Times. Takes the burn out; heals the wound; cures the pain. Dr. Thomas’ Eclectric Oil, the household remedy. ‘When one borrows trouble the inter- est is usually pretty heavy. AMLINS WIZARD OIL SORE THROA Au Db It beats = ata customers by- offering them, when Ala- Dastine is called for, cheap mines: that will spoil their walls. Such action ly prompted by is certain|; ted by e evi aoe é commend themselves to honest dealers. Alabastine, a durable cement base wall coating, not a kalsomine, costs no more to apply than cheap dope that spoils your walls and injures the health of family. Alabastine is a dry pow- ler, comes in pac! mixes with cold peated pega fourteen for use et sy brick. or canvas, superior to painter pene Full direction: for sample card tint ALABASTINE COMPANY GRAND RAPIDS, ef MICH. all how some dealers im- and Buch Hamiccod wit? Thompson's Eye Water Mrs. Emma E. Felch, Treasurer Fond du Lac, Wis., Social Economic Club, Tells How She was Cured of Irregular and Pain- ful Menstruation by Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound. “Dear Mrs. Pinkuam:—I have used Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound for irregular and painful menstruation, and was entirely cured after using two bottles. I can truly say it is a boon to suffering women, and I would recommend all suffering from the above troubles to try a few bottles and be cured. Very thank- fully yours, Emma E, Fetcu, Division St., Fond du Lac, Wis.” $5000 FORFEIT IF THE ABOVE LETTER IS NOT GENUINE, When women are troubled with irregular, suppressed or painful menstruation, weakness, leucorrhcea, displacement or ulceration of the womb, that bearing-down feeling, inflammation of the ovaries, backache, bloating (or flatulence), general debility, indigestion, and nervous pros- tration, or are beset, with such symptoms as dizziness, faintness, lassitude, excitability, irritability, nervousness, sleeplessness, melancholy, “all- gone” and “want-to-be-left-alone” feelings, blues and hopelessness, they should remember there is one tried and true remedy. Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound at once removes such troubles. Refuse to buy any other medicine, for you need the best. No other medicine for female ills in the world has received such widespread and unqualified endorsement. Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick women to write her for advica She has guided thousands to heaith. An Absent-Minded Admission. ? “I suppose,” said the patron to the milkman, “that you view the coming of winter with feelings of regret.” “Indeed I do,” answered the milk- man. “It is really very hard,” goes on the patron, “to find suitable pasture in the cold weather, no doubt?” “Yes; and then the pump freezes so often.”—Judge. . It's folly to suffer from that horrible plague of the night, itching piles. Doan’s Ointment cures, quickly and permanently, At any drug store, 50 cents. Reassuring. “I’m afraid,” said the coal man, “that some of these scientists will pro- duce an effective substitute for coal, and injure my business.” “Oh, I wouldn't worry if I were you,” advised the ice man. “The artificial ice industry. never hurt me in the least.”—Judge. Mi TASTES.Goop oles AND.IS GOOD. 0 we ce CHILDREN LIKE IT, ure SO WILL:YOU: SOLD AND GUARANTEED BY DRUGGISTS.. Sy The Twentieth Century S MONEY MAKER. S $10,000 profits per acre. Larg s est Garden in America. Address R. E. BARNARD, Houston, Mo. NW NU —NO. 39.— 1902. Her Belief. “You believe in short engagements, don’t you, dear?” asked the happy and accepted lover. “Short engagements have always been my rule, darling,” replied she. And even then he did not seem hap- py.—Detroit Free Press. Few persons are as easily fooled by others as they are by themselves, Over-pleasure is as hard on the muscles and joints as over-work. The best thing to do to get the body right after a long bicycle ride is to rub the sore, stiff parts well with Mexican Mustang Lini- ment. No better remedy made for bruises, cuts and chafing. Mexican Mustang Liniment Born INTO THE WoRLD with an inherited tendency to distress- ing, disfiguring humours of the skin, scalp, and blood, becomes an object of the most tender solicitude, not only because of its suffering but because of the dreadful fear that the disfiguration is to be lifelong and mar its future EVERY CHIL happiness and prosperity. Hence it becomes the duty of mothers of such afflicted children to acquaint themselves with the best, the purest, and most effective treatment available, viz, THE CUTICURA TREATMENT. Warm baths with CuTicurA Soap, to cleanse the skin of crusts and scalep and soften the thickened cuticle, gentle anointings with CuTicurA Om MENT, to instantly allay itching, irritation, and inflammation, and soothe and: heal, are all that can be desired for the alleviation of the suffering of skin- tortured infants and children and the comfort of worn-out, worried mothers... A single set is often sufficient to cure when the best phy: tail. win rarie “Auvtsallan Depots Be Bowse’ Co. Bydney- 27-28, Charterhouse $4: Toten, Rag Rtg ot ora ESTABLISHED 1879. wus, Woodward & Co, Grain Commission, = ORDMES FCH SOTURE DELIVERY EXECUTED IN AUL MARKRTS.