Grand Rapids Herald-Review Newspaper, February 3, 1900, Page 6

The Arnewood Mystery BY MAURICE H. HERVEY. Author of ‘‘Dead Man’s Court,”’ ‘‘Somerville’s Crime,’ “‘Dartmoor,”” “‘Maravin’s Money,"’ etc., etc, {| CHAPTER XIII. (Continued.) “Yes, I think so, with help. But it seems I must go through the formality of taking po ion of Arnewood Hall in person. G gery tells me there is # binding clause to that effect in the ti- Oe deeds; and, of course, 1 must com- ply with it. I sent for you, in fact, to ask you to accompany me” ‘Most certainly. But are you fit to travel?” “It is no distance, barely twenty-four miles, and there is a railway station within three miles of the house. T can manage it all right with your ance. Indeed, I feel better already. The knowledge that you are with me seems to brace me up. I told Grudgery that. in the event of your coming, We would all three travel down to Naas by the 12 train; so I've nothing te do But notify him that you are here. If you'll order breakfast, VU try and share it with you in the next room. Meanwhile, perhaps you won't mind telling them to send some one to help me dress.” There w an attempt of briskness in his tone h the weak voice sadly belied. Nevertheless, I affected not to notice it, and proceeded to exeeute his orders with great shew of g ity In the hall a short, stout man w alking to the porter. He turned his head at the sound of my voice. It was the mysterious “stranger.” CHAPTER XIV. A Tell-Tale Cheek. From the utterly uninterested look awith which my late fellow traveler fa- vored me, I felt pretty sure that he ‘was not aware we had crossed the Shannel together, nor did I affect to take the slightest notice of him. 1 simply ordered breakfast for two, and a valet for No. Ss requested, Then I became interested in time-tables and play-bills, wondering the while what the stout man was trying to explain to the hall porter. This latter func tionary looked extremely perplexed, not to y distressed, but kept on shaking his head as though resolved that nothing should extract an affirma- tive reply from him. His questioner, with an impatient shrug, went toward the hotel office, as though to pursue his inquiries there, but suddenly changed his mind .turned upon his heel and walked out into the street “Beg pardon, your honor,” said the hall-porter to me, in an apologetic tone, “but as you're a friend of the Captain's, maybe you'll tell him there’s another of them wanting to see him. My orders to say he’s not here {exceptin’ to your honor and the law- yers), but this chap wouldn't take that for an answer. He’s as good as told me I was a liar; but in the end, he said he'd call again in the afternoon.” “Did he leave no name or message “Never a one, except that his business was very important.” “Very well,” I said, “I'l let Captain Arnewood know. Meanwhile, you stick to your order “Trust grimly. dies to o I wa greeably surprised to see an improving effect a reful toil- et (or was it, really, the result of my ) had produced upon the Cap- appearance Weak, he certainly indeed, he could scarcely walk But the hopeless, weary- co sir,” he rejoined, aid Iam to tell hure, it's p: was; without help. unto-death look had given pla something approaching animation. @of- fee and dry toast vere all I could per- ssuade him to touch; and he nibblea and sipped while I did ample justice to a@ first-rate breakfast. I képt up as lively a conversation as possible during the meal, but when the things had been cleared and we had our cigars fairly under way, I deemed the oppor- tunity a good one to deliver the hall- porter’s message, adding thereto a very eareful description of the inquirer. { could not refrain from a deep. drawn sigh of relief. Suddenly and pointedly as I had sprung the very marked peculiarities of the man upon the Captain, he evinced not the faint- est sign of recognizing him. “T haven't the least idea who the fel- low can be,” he remarked, carelessiy; “but 1 may tell you that ever since the mews of my succession to Arnewood thas become known, relatives to: the fenth degree and hangers-on ‘of. the family of all sorts are (as I understand) hunting for me everywhere. Hence, soy orders to the hotel people are to deny all knowledge of my where. abouts.” This was as plain and satisfactory as any tement could well be, but it naturally intensified my desire to find out the identity of the stranger and the mame of his employer. And I think my heart beat a little faster than usu- al when I reflected that if I could but satisfactorily ferret out either of these secrets, the key to the solution of the great Arnewood Mystery would be in my hands. “ “Tf should very much like you to see the man,” I rejoined, “even though you do not recognize him form my descrip- tion. It may be you would remember having seen him at some time or oth- er, avd I may as well tell you that I attach the utmost importance to find- ‘ing out who he is.” “In connection with the murder?” “Yes,” Lassented. “I have reason te believe be could throw some light on it if he chose.” “Then you must yourself know some- thing of the fellow?’ he urged, eager- ly. “You have, at all events, seen him before?” “He answers very exactly to the de- sscription of an individual who inquired ‘for you at your-London club, and who CDi Relafen Spies Seat RRC a So Sa Na a ree “You have made me feel quite anx- ious to see him, and ,as you suggested just now, I may possibly be able to identify him. I certainly think I shall tell the people here to show him up, should he change his mind and call again before we start.” Of this proposal I expressed my en- tire approval, and the “necessary in. structions were accordingly given. Our conversation then became somewhat embarrassing to me, for the r on that Captain Arnewood would insist upon harping upon the subject of his unknewn visitor, and pushed me very hard to reply to all his questions with telling him everything. ‘This I could not make up my mind to do. He was of too excitable a temperament (espe cially in his then oversivained nervous ate) to be intrusted with so trying a secret. He would be unable, I fek sure, to keep it to himself, even if he did not go to the length of at once in- oking police aid to effect his visito: st. Now, anything like premature action of this sort would infallibly ru in ny plan to entrapp Blogg and the stranger in the old house in Rodney avenue. So I had to parry the ques- tions as best I could, and saw plainly that he was but poorly satisfied with my explanations. I, was right down glad when a sharp rapping at the door eased the situation. fome in!” -e: with a glance the Captain, ger curiosity toward the deor. turally, both expected the earlier visitor, No greater contrast could well have been found than the tall, slim, yellow- moustached, blue-eyed, well-bred youns man who entered a moment later. “How d’ do, Dick?” s his greeting, spoken in the leisurely manner charac- ic of idle men. ot looking very zht, I must say. London evidently, don’t agree with you, old fellow, and the soon you settle down to your new life at Arnewood, the longer you'll li to erjoy i The look of expectation upon Captain Arnewood's face had been succeeded by one of barely-concealed annoyance upon the entrance of the newcomer. urance of the latte: introductory remarks—so utterly at va- riance with the invalid’s own convic- tions—sceined to irritate him execeed- ingly. “London agrees with me_ well encugh,” he answered, testily; “it is this confounded place that is killing me. As to living at Arnewood Hall, I'd rather inhabit a garret in the Seven Dia So soon as ever’ I can get through the absurd formalities which the lawyers say are so essential, Tl either shut up the house or let it. I’ve told you so before.” “I know you have,” was the rejoin- ‘but it never occurred to me to be- you were in earnest. In fact, I don’t see how you possibly can be in earnest. It’s just a whim that has come over you, and I mean to cure you of it.” “See here, Philip,” said the Captain, with frigid distinctness, “I wish you to understand that my mind is quite made up on that point, and that I shall re- gard any further reference, on your part as to my future movements as an unwatrrantable liberty.Moreoyer, [ am engaged upon business of the utmost importance, and cannot just at present | spare time for discussion of any sort. The gentleman with me is my London agent, Mr. Weston. Mr. Weston, this is my kinsman, Mr. Philip Blake.’ There was little to choose between us for coldness in acknowledging this in- troduction. Mr. Blake probably re- garded me as an interloper, while I most ce nly felt prejudiced against him for irritating my client. We mere- ly bowed. “Oh, bother business. Dick!” he ex- claimed, impatiently. “Fancy a man who has just come into ever so many thousands a year, bothering about busi- ness! “My business with Mr. Weston does not concern the thousands a year,” re: joined Captain Arnewood, drily. “What! Still worrying about that Scho affair? What's the use. I dare- say it’s quite the correct thing for you to offer rewards and stir up the police, but why worry about a dead man? You never even saw? You can’t bring him to life! No; but I may do him the tardy justice of bringing his murderer to the gallows.” “Ah, well! You were always a ro- mantic sort ef fellow,” remarked Mr. Blake, with a half-pitying shrug of his sheulders. “I hope you'll succeed in hanging the brute, if you think you'll feel the better fer it. Meanwhile, does it cecur to you that the day after to- morrow will be Christmas Day, and that, if you don’t show up at Arnewood for the silly old festival, there'll be something like an insurrection among the tenantry ?” Captain Arnewoed looked by no means pleased in ,having his hand forced in this manner. ‘Mr. Blake,” he said, turning towards me, “refers to an old family tradition which makes it out to be an extremely unlucky event }m for everyone connected with the place, should the Squire be absent from the Hall at Christmas. But,” he added, with a marked pause upon the pro “as you and I are going down there to-day, the claims of superstition will be amply satisfied.” Mr. Philip Blake ignored the empha- sized pronouns completely. “The deuce you are!” was his comment. “Then T'll go, too!” I pitied Captain Arnewood. His vis- itor’s persistence evidently annoyed him extremely, and yet he seemed to Jack the moral courage to assert him- certainly traveled by the mail last! self, He shifted uneasily upon his night from Euston. More than this, I esearcely feel justified in saying at pres- ent, because J have, after all, nothing “but a description to go upon, and [ might be quite wrong in my conjec- ob ef mamma shes. chair and signalled me plainly to leave the room. Of course, z did so, upon some half-muttered excuse, allowing them a quarter of an hour, to arrive at an understanding, and then veturned, { I noticed, as I entered, that my elient’s check-book was lying open upon a writ- ing table. “Well, ta-ta for the moment, old Tel- low,” said Mr. Blake, apparently ac- cepting my reappearance as a signal for leave-taking. “If I'm anywaere near Broadstone I'll see you off. Good- day, Mr.—er—Watson. There was a poorly-veiled insolenee in the man’s tone that convinced me the mistake in my name was intention- al, and L am slow at pocketing an af- front. “Should you ever have occasion to address me again,” I retorted, “be good enough to remember that iny name is Weston.” He looked at me as though about to complicate matters by an angry re- joinder, but suddenly seized his hat and quitted the reom. “Thank Heaven!” ejaculated Captain Arnewood—but he offered no further explanation, and [ was left to form my own conclusions for my 2brupt dismis- sal and the presence of the check book upon the table. Once more I felt myself upon the horns of an awkward dilemma. [had beeu sent away, and, during my ab- sense, Philip Blake had received a check. This much seemed quite clear. But why had this check been given to him? Was it merely the usual sop thrown to a ‘hard-up kinsman by the head of the family? Or was it—black- mail? There are times when one has to decide upon a prompt course of tion at a moment's notice. This was one of them. Fair or unfair, good form or bad, I deemed it essential that T should know something more about that check, and my instant thought was to examine the counterfoil. This I did, under pretext of handing the check-book to its owner. The last check was drawn in favor of Richard Blake, Esq., or Bearer, for £850. And this was the exact amount payabie to Blogg by the stranger, on behalf of his employer, four days later, in Rodney Avenue! “As IT understand, then, Mr. Blakes will not accompany us to Arnewoodd?’ I asked, with an effort to appear un- concerned. “Thank Heaven, no!” he again ejacu- lated. “I have enabled him to tide over a difficulty he bas got into in Lordon, and he leaves for the Metrop- olis to-night, or, at latest, to-morrow, The dearest wish of my héart is that I y never see him agi here was no mistaking the bitter sincerity of either the words or the tone that expressed them; and, littl subject as T am to emotional weak ss, my heart went out to him in pith of his misery. And then there came upon me, as though by in- spiration, a revelation of my duty. was no briefed counsel defending prisoner en trial for his life, and justi- fied in taking almest any measures to acheive that end. I was the paid agent of a client, and my mission was to un- ravel a mysterious murder. Evidence had, more or less indirectly,, through- out, tended to incriminate my client himself; and now came the utteriy convincing check, obviously paid un- der pressure. In -the face of this 1 could no longer feel any confidence in my client’s innocence. The time haw come for an explanation with Richard Arnewood. “Captain Arnewood,” 1 said. very earnestly, “yqu are in some heavier trouble than you have deemed it @xpe- dient to confide in me, and T am ¢om- pelled to form an opinion as to what | that trouble is.” | “Are you. Mr. Weston?” he echoed with a poor, wan attempt at a smile. | “Why?” “The lawyers cannot be here for an- other half-hour. Do you think you are well enough to hear all that T know-— and suspect—about your cousin death?” “Yes!” he answered, with almost startling foree. “That is precisely what I want to learn; what you know, and (above all) what you suspect!” I looked at him, more puzzled than ever by his strange changes of humor. Expectancy — eager expectancy — was all I could read in his face. My task was not a very lengthy one, as [I had | merely to superadd what I had previ- ously supposed to what he already knew. He only once interrunted me, | with a request for some brandy, while T was speaking of Billy’s edventire) in Rodney Avenve. T paused at the cident of my dismissal from the room in favor ef Mr. Blake. ' “Well?” he interjected. passing his hand several times cross his fore- head. “There is little more to be said, Cap- tain Arnewood,” I rejoined, “except that, unless you can satisfy me thar the ckeck you gave your relative had no referenee to the case intrusted; to me, T must ask you to place it in other hands. T have seen the counterfoil in your check-book!” ‘ The unhappy man started to his feet. put fell back, limp and helpless, in his | arm chair. One look he gave me—a look of such wild horror, that I shall never ferget it—and then he seemed to double up on the chair and from it slip to the floor, I sprang forward to raise him just as two gentlemen en- tered, in one of whom I recognized Mr. O'Flynn. “Bless my heart!” exclaimed the lat- ter. “Another fit, is it? Sure, it’s lucky they sent Dr. Redwood with me! Do you think he'll manage the 1234 train, doctor?” “No,” revlied the doctor, gravely, af- ter a careful examination of the pros- trate form. “Captain Arnewoot will travel by no more trains—alive. The heart's action has failed. He is dead!” CHAPTER XV. News of the Newsman. For some moments Mr. O'Flynn and I stood staring at the doctor in speech- less surprise. Was it, indeed, true that another heir to the fateful Arnewood succession had been stricken down ere he had fairly entered into his inherit- ance? q “Did anyone iver hear the like?” groaned the confidential clerk. ‘*An- other of ’em cut off at a moment's no- tice, without so much as a ‘by your lave! Is it sure you are, doctor, that he’d dead ply. “But, although I have times attended the deceased other agency at work, in my o} than heart-weakness. You s! once notify the coroner, Mr. 0” This decision had, of course, the ef- feet of expelling us from the chamber | from the breath of scandal, of death, and I accompanied the head | clerk to the solicitor’s office, where we found Mr. O’Brien upon the point of starting for the Shelborne Hotel to pick ug his client. A clean-shaven, portly, Nard-featured man, little likely to be upset by even a sudden death. Nor was he. He simply removed his overcoat, issued such instructions as the eecasion demanded, and expressed regret that my mission should have such an abrupt termination. “Oddly enough,” he remarked, “Cap- tain Arnewood had a strange forebod- ing of impending death, which he seemed to think your presence would somehow avert. He was, neverthe- less, prepared for the worst, and only yesterday signed a codicil to his will, which I drew up at his request. I may. without indiscretion, inform you that this codicil provides for the pay- ment of the reward as well as of all | inquiry fees; and I may congratulate you upon a bequest of ‘one thousand pounds to Ralph Weston, Esquire, as a mark of personal esteem.’ My late cli- ent thought very highly of you.” “You astound me!” I exclaimed “My acquaintance with Captain Arn wood was so brief that such a bequest is absolutely bewildering!” No reason for declining it when the will is proved,” was the dry rejoinder. “May I ask whether you see any hope of a speedy termination of the Soho affair?” “Impessible to s at present,” I Te- plied, guardedly; ‘‘but I must, if pos- sible, be back in London within four days.” “Nothing to prevent you, as far as the inquest is concerned, from return- ing to-morrow. You will merely have to give evidence as to the death in your presence. The doctors will do the rest.” I was not so sure of that. weod’s opinion had not been a reassur- ing one, and it was bound to carry at weight in the inquiry. Almost inly I would be cross-questioned to the subject-matter of our conver- sation immediately preceding death. And how could I bring myself to make admissions that would besmirch my unfortunate patron’s memory with al- | most obyious complicity in a terrible crime? It was not only that he had been throughout a model client; it w not that he had made a handsome pos- thumous provision in my favor. As a man of the world, these facts could not fail to enlist my sympathies on his behalf, living or dead. But, quite part, I had an underlying belief (against the weight of evidence and my ewn jvdgment) that Richard Arne- wood had been guiltless of his cousin’s blood; and, for once in a way, I re- solved to oley instinct rather than rea- son. Mr. O’Brien looked at me curi- eusly, and the hard, stern face grad- ually softened, “See here, Mr. Weston,” he resumed. “[ have no wish to pry into your af- fairs, but your manner leaves ne un- der the impression that you do not ex- actly court an inquiry into the decease of Captain Arnewood,” “Sirt!? T exclaimed, mean?” “No harm, I assure you,” he re- joined, placing a friendly hand upon “what do you my arm. “The pesition is simple enough. For man generations the Arnewoods have been valued clients of our firm, and we would go very far, indeed, te save the old family name Do you follow me?” I “Scarcely,” I answered. “Surely no scandal attaches to the sudden demise of 2 man known to be suffering from disease of the heart?” ou are fencing with me, Mr. West- on This was so true that, had he spoken with even a trace of sarcasm in his tone, [I should have: retorted hotly. But his words were uttered in such kindly fashion that I could not. “Will you please tell me exactly what you would suggest?’ I asked. “Yes,” he replied, “I will, Let me compliment you, also, upon your use cf the word ‘suggest.’ It exactly fits the case. What I would suggest, then, is, that—you have ascertained more about the facts of the so-called Soho Mystery than you have yet made pub- Hee: Vell, admitting that, what more? That—were Captain Arnewood still alive—you would, say, dissuade him from pursuing the inquiry, with the same zeal as heretofore, lest results disastrous to the family name should ensue.” “Were he alive. I should simply obey his instructions.” I replied. “I could scarcely offer advice implying a doubt of his own innocence, especially as I am convinced that he had no hand or part in the death of his cousin.” Mr. O’Brien gave a deep sigh of re- lief. “Your words take a load off my mind,” he said, earnestly. “The fact is that Captain Arnewood’s manner had been so strange, ever since that terrible affair, and his references to it so mysterious, I was driven to con- clude he was somehow mixed up in it. I even ventured to hint as much once, and was by no means favorably im- pressed by his incoherent reply. The reward I came to regard as merely a herring across the trail. In short, [ have been in daily dread of some aw- ful exposure, and my anxiety has been fully shared by my partner. May 1 take it that no real cause exists for this anxiety, as regards our late cli- ent?” “IT hope so, and believe so,” I replied, still strong in my conviction that Rich- ard Arnewood was innocent, despite appearances. “But, even should it prove otherwise, would you ask me to spare the guilty living in order to shield the memory of the possibly guilty dead?” “God forbid, Mr. Weston!” exclaimed the old lawyer, energetically. ‘The ut- most I intended to ask of you was that, shculd the evidence in your pos- session point to my late client as the instigator (if not the actual perpetrat- or) of Luke Arnewood’s murder, you will refrain from publishing the dis- graceful fact to the world. Captain ‘Arnewood Las passed beyond the juris- diction of sny earthly tribunal, and no good could result from branding his name with infamy. But if, as your words inply, others than he were guilty, you are, I think, bound by ev- ery consideration of duty and honor to bring them to the bar of justice.” (To Be Continued.) Champagne. ‘i ‘It is asserted that the wine cellars of France contain champagne enough to supply the world’s demand: for three years— pearly 150,000,000. bottles, MINNESOTA ITEMS The state offers a rewaxyd of $560 in the Peterson murder case in Pine county. ge, eighty years of falling down stairs age, was killed by in St. Paul. A disease, supposed to be glande has appeared among the an Fort Snevling. nals at Oscar Kuntz, a merchant at Pine Islend, is charged with making a false affidavit to schedules in bankruptcy. Miss Annie Watson, daughter of C. H. Watson of Northfield, died recently after a protracted illness of 1 months. Oscar Olson, a lad eleevn years old, was instantly killed by falling under sled loaded with logs on Lake St. Croix, at Stillwater. Moorhead people offer the Soo a big percentage of their shipments if that read will build to their city from El- bow Lake before June 1, 1901. The large bern belonging to A. C. Wilson at Royalton burned. The fire started in the hay loft from an un- kiown cause. Loss, $2,500; insurance, $500. The fifteen-year-old son of Henry Hicks of Montevideo, who was 4 dentally shot through the abdomen by his brothec, diced from the effect of the wourd, f The Northern Pacific has been given a contract by the Duluth Furnace com- land to The ore is from the mines at pany to haul iron ore from As Duluth. rm weather of the past few almost_entirely destroyed the days has “ ds in ‘the vicinity of Duluth. logging re Loggers say that the conditions are un- precedented. Andrew Sceska, single, from Rea- wood county, was killed by a falling tree at Steve Sands’ camp, near Ait- kin. The body was taken to Redwood county for burial. Admiral Dewey has written to the man at Bemidji who sent him that Dlack bear that the animal is dead. It burst a few blood vessels trying to scape from the Zoo at Washington. Amanda Van Ness, aged twen- ty-five, was found dead in her room at delia. She had been shopping but 4 few heurs before. An inquest and au topsy made it clear that death was caused by heart failure. the Minwaukee for alleged di: mina- tion ninst wood dealers of Minneap- olis in refusing to transfer cars from other roads to their own. Deer Williamshen, a farmer living ten miles north of Frazee, shot him- self recently. He took down a shot- gun from the wall and, putting the muzzle to his face, pulled the trigger, blowing the top of his head off. J. E. Gilman, who has been for nine years principal of the public schools of Winnebago City. has handed in his resignation. He giv as his reason his purpose to become a candidate for suprintendent of public instruction in Faribault county. The Northern Pacifie will make ex- tensive improvements in its works at Brainerd. It is said that the shops at that point are inadequate and that they will be substantially enlarged. The report states that the outlay ne- cessary will approximate $300,000. Mrs. Ellen Mocers of Brainerd has commenced an action in the district court of C; county to set aside an execution si involving 8,080 acres of land. The defendants in the action are ¢ and Anna Griffith of Walker, Thor and Jeanette Nary of Na and Mary McAllister of Br: W. EK. Richardson, assignee of the estate of the American Loan and Trust company, has sold the roller mill at Hubbard, to Stevenson, ‘Thompson & Co. of Moorhead. The will has a daily capacity of forty barrels, and the consideration for the property was $4,500. Fire broke out at Stephen in McMa- hon’s large general store the other night. The firemen responded to the eall and worked nobly, but it was doomed from the first. By great ef- forts adjoining buildings, were savea. The loss on the building and stock was about $20,000; insurance, $12,000. William Jackson, who was indicted at Duluth for assault with intent to kill, was found guilty of assault in the second. degree. This is the case in which it was charged that Jackson had attempted to stab A. H. Powers, of the logging firm of Powers & Simpson, near Hibbing, about two months ago. Sabrie G. Aikin, publisher of the La- bor World at Duluth, died at her home from catarrhal entertis. She had been in poor health for some time. Mrs. Aikin was thirty years of age and is survived by a husband, T. C. Aikin, and one child, a boy of eleven. She was corresponding secretary of the Twentieth Century club. Jack Dawson, for whose arrest a re- ward was offered by Gov. Lind, was arrested by Sheriff Hawley. He was located by George Perkins. in a lumber camp about thirty miles from Duluth, Dawson was wanted as one of the principals jn the’affair at Bruno, Minn., where George Peterson of Minneapo- lis is said to have met his death in a “bling pig.” A meeting of the flour manufactur- ers of Northern Minnesota was held at Little Falls, for the purpose of form- ing an association for mutual benefit. The organization was deferred until a meeting. which will be held in St. Cloud. The millers of St. Cloud, Sauk Center, Fergus Falls, Moorhead, De- troit, Perham, Wadena and Little Falls were represented at the meeting. The twenty-first annual meéting of the Minnesota Scandinavian Relief as- sociation was held recently in Red Wing. Secretary Rosing’s report in- dicates a total membership, on Jan. 1, of 5,552, with policies amounting to $5,938,000. The assets and receipts from various sources on the above date were $185,654.31; while the disburse- ments amounting to $91,518.99, leaving a balance of $94,135.32. The reserve fund amounts to $84,255.70. The con- one fund shows a balance of $7,- Jet. k- A Considerable Difterence. Waglip—What is the difference be- tween a modern manufacturing estab- lishment and a clock? Tulip—I can't see it. Waglip—In a clock, when the hands are busy the works strike; but in a factory where the works are busy the hands strike—Jewelers’ Weekly. Artificial Sight. An inventor has perfeeted an elec- trical appliance, which be claims will enable the blind to see. This will bring much happiness to those who have de- fective eyesight. Another great dis- covery which will bring happiness to those whose stomachs have become deranged, is Hostetter’s Stomach Bit- ters. It is a certain cure for indiges- tion, dyspepsia, malaria, fever and ague. Optimism and Pessimism. Little Willie—Say, pa, what’s the dif- ference between an optimist and 2 pessimist? Pa—An optimist enjoys a thing he ean’t like, and a pessimist likes a thing he can’t enjoy.—Chicago Daily News. **Do Not Burn the Candle At Both Ends.’’ Don’t think you can go on drawing vi- tality from the blood for nerves, stomach, brain and muscles, without doing some- thing to replace it. Hood's Sarsaparilla gives nerve, mental and digestive strength by enriching and vitalizing the blood. Thus it helps overworked and tired people. 7 INeVer Disappoints ‘ar Beyond His Years. A couple of diminutive newsboys, both white, got into a scrap at the cor- ner of Tenth street and Pennsylvania avenue the other night. They were about of a size, but they weren’t even- ly matched by a large number of points. The kid that had the science pummelled the other to a standstill, then picked up his pap: from where he had thrown them and walked off. The licked boy dug his hands into his pockets and surveyed his papers, lying on the pavement, thoughtfully. A man who had witnessed the scrap walked up and said: “Well, you got it right that time, my, son.” The kid looked up, spat, pulled “#3 hands out of his pockets, picked up his papers and said, philosophically: “Aw, wot tell. It'll be all one in a hundred years.” Then he plodded on like a little man, rexdy to take up the white man’s bur- den all over again.—Washiugton Post. Piso's Cure for Consumption has been a God-send te me.—Wm. 8. McClellan, Chester, Florida, Sept. 17, 1895. The Whistler and His Load. A young business man says he was taking a stroll on a recent Sunday, when he heard somebody ly whist- ling. It was on a quiet East End street, and he was astonished at the careless levity of the act. Then he recognized the tune. It was “There'll Be a Hot Time in the Old Town To-night.” He turned around and looked for the whistler. It was a young fellow driving an un- dertaker’s wagon, and he had a load. And the observer couldn’t help but think it was decidedly suggestive— Cleveland Plain Dealer. Behind Their Backs. “You have moved three times this winter?” “Yes,” answered young kins, with a sigh. “It was a dreadful lot of work, but we had to do it. We have had so much trouble with ser- vants. When I discharged them they got angry. and when Charley dis- charged them they just laughed. So the only thing to.do was to wait until their afternoons out and move to an- other neighborhood.”— Washington Star. H Mrs. Ter- Britain's Coast Guard. Once every twenty-four hours, the year round, coast guardsmen complete a circuit of the British coast, and, be- ing ever wary and rea the landing of contraband is prac ly impossi- ble. In the event of Jack seeing smugglers, he would “tap” his bottle of blue lights, and the result of such a signal would be the rallying of all the seam from the coast guard stations for miles.—Pearson’s Magazine. “The Buddhists have a fine idea concerning gifts.” “What is it?” “Why. if I give Jones an umbrella I have paid Brown for the box of cigars he gave me.”—Indianapolis Journal. Rosenbaum—Mein = gracious, —yust dink of der vedding oxpenses dot L saved py id! An Easy One. “What is a lake?’ asked the teach er. f A bright little boy raised his hand, “Well, Mikey, what is it?” “Sure, it’s a hole in th’ tay kittle, mum.”--Ohio State Journal. An Adage Punctured. “John, when you are yery angry, count 100 before you speak.” “Fiddlesticks! When Im mad £ can’t count, and I can’t speak,”—In- dianapolis Journal. A Resemblance. “Spanish prisoners in the Philippine islands remind me of some base ball players.” said Mr. Penn to Mr. Pitt. “In what way?’ “They are getting their release.”— Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. ee A Juvenile Diagnosis. Grandma—And weren’t you home- sick, Ethel, when you were sailing away on the wide ocean? Ethel—Ne, ma'am; I didn’t get home- sick, but my stomach did. Quite a Sufficiency. Waiter—Have a spoon, sir? Guest—No; I've eaten all I care for, thank you.—Judge. te