Evening Star Newspaper, March 1, 1933, Page 26

Conquering Contract By P. HAL SIM! Mr. Sims is universally acclaimed the greatest living contract and auction plaver. He was captain of the rem: “Four Horsemen” team and has won 24 national championships since 1924, Theory of Responses. OU will have remarked that while my jump responses and forcing responses (other than the one - over - one) are very definite and precise in the in- formation -conveyed, the minimum .re- sponses cover & wide range and per- mit the same response being made on utterly different hands——different in strength and in ccomposition. There are two elements to be con- sidered—high card strength and dis- tribution —and I find it most praeti- cal to give the message in two installments rather than in one. That is why the opener should not take much for granted from the first re- sponse, for he can rely on being thor- P. Hal Sims, oughly enlightened by the next one. This procedure provides wonderful safeguards against misfits—if the hands cannot fit any- where, you discover it early and drop the bidding at a low contract. It also enables you to ferret out a rather ob- scure fit in a secondary suit while you ere still in & low bidding range. Again, these methods put the ad- versaries to a constant guess—they are apt to enter the bidding when they were better out of it, and to refrain from bidding when they could have done so to advantage. The early exchange of munimum responses where some other systems would require jump bids keeps the enemy in the dark until the bidding has progressed at least a round further. and makes an overcall that much more dangerous. Obviously this is all dependent on the soundness and resilence of the original bid. It usually contains a rebid in some form; weak forces are not needed to keep the bidding open; minimum bids are exchanged within the safety zone; if we do quicken strides, it is without strain, with strength in reserve, and MORE TRUTH BY JAMES J. A Pleasant Evening. “Oh Willie! Start the radio, Dial in to BCD, For mother’s simply wild to know ‘Who bumped off Dog-faced Gee. Run, child, and tune the station in, Be quick about it, too; I think the killer must have been That Jake the Mugg, don't you? “Well, Willie, both of us were wrong, But it is almost time That JLJ will come along ‘With ‘Snappy Spots of Crime,” That Chinaman is pretty smart, But Buck O'Toole is dumb. I guess they’ll stab him to the heart And grab the opium. “Yes":l_‘i Willle, that's just what they id; Get MBW now. That girl, I'm sure, she still is hid Scmewhere on that old scow. And if the lawyer comes around He'll meet an awful fate; He'll certainly be knifed or drowned— The girl is desperate. “Well, Willie, time to go to bed, So just snap off the light. Three people wounded, seven dead— We've had a lovely night. It's wonderful to get these crimes JOLLY POLLY A Lesson in Etiquette. 3. FRISCH. WHAT WE NEED IS A__J) = WAR PLAY TO <2 5y END WAR PLAYS T. L—It is not important who goes first down the aisle of a theater. The | usual way is for the man to lead the | way until they reach the usher, after which the woman foilows the usher, | with the man bringing up the rear. | If there are no ushers, the man leads | without serious risk of & misfit declara- tion or & palpable overbid. Penalties must be taken in contraet; but under my system you should not bid yourselves blindly into one. Unusual Hand. rather often to the importance of having the more evenly held suit as trumps when there is a choice between two trump suits; for instance, if one,is held 5-3 and the other 4-4. Last Week in the Deal Club North held Sp. KQJXxXxX DL Jx Hts. AKJxxX ClL — and South picked up this tremendous support: Sp. AxxXx DL AxXxX Hts. Q10 x CL Kx ‘The opponents of course never bid, and under my system the bidding was as follows: North. 1 Heart. South. 2 No 'h'umEA North. 4 Spades (slam try). South. 5 Diamonds (showing the ace by bidding a third suit opposite an out-and-ont two-suiter: also ac- cepting the slam try). North. 5 Hearts (confirming great length and top strength in hearts). South, 5 Spades (locating the ace and normal support for a five-card suit). North. 6 Clubs (a cue bid, announcing no losers in clubs). South. 7 Spades (because of the Q x x of hearts, thus foreseeing three dis- cards on the long hearts). Seven spades are a laydown, as South can throw his three little dia- monds away on the long hearts. Only six hearts can be made unless West should lead the ace of clubs—actually he did not hold it. Yet many players would—and did—fail to see the pos- sibility of the hand with spades as trumps, and contented themselves with the safe but far from brilliant con- tract of six hearts. Narth’s slam-try- ing bid of four spades showed a five- card spade suit definitely marking the heart suit as of not less than six cards since it was mentioned before the spades. A x x and Q x x are naturally nor- mal support for five and six card suits on which a slam try is being made. (Copyright. 1933.) I draw at! Mr. Sims will answer all inquiries on con- | tract t are addressed to thic newspaper | with self-addressed, stamped envelope. THAN - POETRY MONTAGUE. So often on the air; 1t gives us such exciting times— I almost think I'm there.” They'll Learn Better. Electrons are said to be coming to | the Earth from outer space. Just wait till they find out what is going on here. Necessarily. Faces can be converted into sound waves. They'll all be long waves, if they resemble the originals. MENU FOR A DAY. BREAKFAST. Stewed Prunes. Dry Cereal With Cream. Corn Omelet. Bacon. ‘Toast. Marmalade. Coffee. LUNCHEON. Baked Splghetg With Cheese. Rye Bread. Pruit Salad, French Dressing. Crackers. Cheese. Tea. DINNER. ‘Tom1ito Bisque. Broiled Beefsteak. French Fried Potatoes. String Beans. Beet and Lettuce Salad. French Dressing. Pineapple Tapioca. Coffee. CORN OMELET. Score the rows and scrape out the pulp of five small, plump ears of corn or one cup canned corn (strained). Mix with five well- beaten eggs, one teaspoon of cream and salt and pepper to season. Have a sheet-iron frying pan hot and buttered. Pour in the mixture and shake end tilt the pan until it is evenly cooked. Roll and serve on a hot platter. SPAGHETTI WITH CHEESE. Boil two quarts of water for one hour with three bay leaves, three cloves, three slices onion, four slices turnip, four slices carrot and one teaspoon beef extract, then strain. Boil one-half pack- age unbroken spaghetti in this liquor until tender, put it in a buttered baking dish, cover with grated cheese and bake in a hot oven until the cheese melts. the way, unless the aisle be wide, in which case they walk side by side. (Copyright, 1933.) SCREEN ODDITIES BY CAPT. ROSCOE FAWCETT. MCLAGLEN, ACQUIRED HIS VALET, ABDULLAK, DURING * THE WAR WHEN THE ARAB WAS 10 YEARS OLD AND THE STAR WAS PROVOST- MARSHAL WIS CHEST WITH THE PALMS OF Wi WANDS AND SAYS 'QUIET, PLEASE } AS OFTEN AS 300 TIMES-4 DAY ACTUAL COUNT. M. WHO REMEMBERS? BY DICK MANSFIELD, Resistered U. 8. Patent Offce. When we'd get a kick out of a ride on the ice wagon with a chunk of ice to scrunch on? BEDTIME STORIES BY THORNTON W. BURGLSS. Unexpected Tenant. Possession, be it right or wrong. Makes your position doubly strong. —Jimmy Skunk. EDDY and Mrs. Fox were in high spirits as they returned to their old home in the Old Pas- ture. They had left it some weeks before to seek new hunt- ing grounds, for after the great storm starvation had stared them in the face. It had been & wise move, for they had managed to live well, a little too well perhaps, for of late they had been much hunted and Reddy still limped from wounds he had received from a terrible gun. Worse still, they had of late been obliged to be on the watch for cunningly hidden steel traps. So they had turned toward the Old Pas- ture where Farmer Brown allowed nei- ther hunting nor trapping. ‘They had traveled most of the night to get there, and that leg that had been wounded bothered Reddy quite a bit, so that it was with a little sigh of path that led to their old home. Jolly, round, bright Mr. Sun had melted all | the snow for some distance around their doorway, so there were no footprints to tell them if there had been any visitors during their absence. Reddy threw himself down on the doorstep. “It is good to be home” said he with a sigh of contentment. “Yes, sir, it is good to be home. One needs to go away and stay awhile and then return; that is the only way to learn what home really means. I am going to lie down here and take a sun bath. Won’t you join me, my dear?” “Not just mow,” replied Mrs. Reddy. “I want to look inside the house a see if everything is all right. I'll join you in & few minutes. It certainly is good to be back home. Il never leave it again.” She disappeared in the house and Reddy prepared to enjoy his sun bath as soon as jolly, bright Mr. Sun should get high enough in the blue, blue sky. Meanwhile he would take a nap. He had just closed his eyes when Mrs. Reddy reappeared in something of a hurry and looking both angry and trou- ‘Of all things,” she sputtered angrily, “to come home and find some one in HCany “A TENANT!" EiCLA!NED REDDY ABRUPTLY, SITTING UP. glur house is the limit! I ask you if it 't “A tenant!” exclaimed Reddy, ab- ruptly sitting up. “Do you mean that there is a tenant in our house?” “There is & tenant in our house,” de- clared Mrs. Reddy. “But who would dare move into our house?” demanded Reddy, angrily. “Has a strange Fox come to the Old Pasture.” Mrs. Reddy shook her head. “No, it isn't a Pox,” she said. “Is it one of Old Man Coyote's fam- ily?” demanded Reddy. “I—I wouldn’t like to have any trouble with Old Man Coyote.” .Xgnln Mrs. Reddy shook her hea “It isn’t a Coyote,” said she. “Well, in that case, we'll throw out whoever it Isi;' de::nllflredm‘:y.‘ “Ol: Man Coyote is a trifle or me, but tm is no one else in the Old Pasture of whom I am afraid. I don't know who this unexpected tenant is, but he is going to get out in short order. The impudence of him to think of moving into our house! I am going to pull him out right this minute.’ “I wish you would and I don’t wish it,” said Mn.‘mddy. “Anyway, I don't hink you will.” ‘ “Wh; not?” demanded Reddy, swell- ing up s0 as to look brave and impor- it. "ulllrs. Reddy whispered in Reddy's ear. Reddy backed somewhat hastily from the doorway. Mrs. Reddy grinned. Reddy looked sheepish. (Copyright. 1933.) How It Started BY JEAN NEWTON. A “Mrs. Malaprop.” ‘We have an inquiry for the origin of enlu;l a woman who misuses words & ‘The source of this name as a popular member of our lexicon for describing a woman who makes such amusing blun- ders is in Sheridan’s famous play, “The g of & word.” ‘The real source of the name, however, lies in the French, whence Sheridan took his iration for colning the That is from the French phrase propes” meaning “inappro- (Copyright, 1933.) Eat 500 Flies Daily. In a single day, it is said, swallows eat 500 to 600 files. G sty 4 Aristocrot of Cold Culs WESTPHALIAN HAMS “QREEN TRES™ BRAND T e her st oft N Shall We Pity Quarreling They an and Wife? Good 7] |DorothyDix| % We Waste Pity in Sympathizing With Them. They Are Having the Time of Their Lives Exchanging Punches. LL of us know married couples whose home life is that of the pro- verbial Kilkenny cats. Just one row after another. Every word that either utters is the fighting word. Neither can do or say an thout starting something. The woman nags until you wonder how the husband can stand it. The man is so surly and grouchy that you could shed tears over the wife. Apparently no two gmm could be more miserable than they are, but they make no effort break the fetters that bind themgtogether. A All of us have now and then the unhappy experience of going out in an automobile with & husband and wife who quarrel so violently every step of the way that we think murder will certainly be done before the ride is over. The wife back-seat chauffeurs until it drives the husband wild and he says things to her that no gentleman should say to a lady. And the wife retorts in kind by telling him just exactly what sort of a nitwit she considers him to be and how utterly lacking in initiative and Judgment and general intelligence. THIN criminations and recriminations are hurled back and forth until you feel sure that the car will pull up at the door of the nearest divorce lawyer. But it doesn't. They return home to continue their favorite indoor sport of quarreling with each other. Now, there is nothing morally wrong with these people. They are good citizens. Church members in high standing. Upright, honorable men and women. So far as the outward observance of the letter of the law is concerned they are even good husbands and wives, inasmuch as they are faithful to each other and the man works hard to support his wife in comfort and give her luxuries and the woman works hard to keep the home fires burning and provide her husband with good food and keep his buttons sewed on. \ '‘HEY cannot, or will not, get along together in peace and harmony. Seemingly, they are rank poison to each other. They antagonize each other in every way, and it leaves one wondering why, in these days when marriage vows are so easily smashed, they continue to live together. Why do they continue a partnership that has seemed to be a total loss? Why do they keep on living with a husband or wife who is a perpetual irritant, & thorn in the flesh, an enforced companion who destroys all the serenity and pleasure of life? Yet they do, and that is one of the insoluble mysteries of matrimony. 5 Of course, in the past there were two reasons why Pighting Jack and Battling Jill endured these cat-and-dog marriages. One was financial. The other conventional. In the days when marriage was practically the only gainful occupation open to women, a woman had to stand a marriage whether it was congenial or uncongenial because it was her bread ticket. She had to take any sort of back talk her husband handed her because he was her sole means of support. JUST because his wife was dependent ‘upon him and had no means of earning her_own livelihood, her husband was not free to diverce her for a mere thing like incompatibility of temper or because she was a common, or garden varlety, of scold, or because she had the curtain lecture complex. Marriage then was not just a dinner date that you could break when the girl got on your nerves. It was an until-death-do-us-part com- panionship, even when it turned out to be a 40-year war. Another think that kept quarreling couples together in the past was that a stigma was attached to divorce. It was regarded as little less shameful than arson or thievery. Especially for women. No matter how noble and fine a woman was or what a martyr she was to a brute of a husband, she was declasse if she divorced him. Other women drew their skirts away from her and she was held up as a warning to young girls. Naturally, women fought out an unhappy marriage round by round with their husbands rather than take on organized society in a combat in which they were bound to lose out. HOWIVKR. all of that is changed now. The business and professional worlds are as free to women as they are to men, and any able-bodied, intelligent woman can earn her own bread and butter, so she need not stand a husband with whom she cannot get along for the sake of a living. Nor is divorce looked upon askance in these days. It is regarded as a life-saving station for those who are perishing in an uncongenial mar- riage. So other reasons must be found to explain why quarreling husbands and wives stick to marriage. I think they do it because they enjoy the fight and they wouldn't live in harmony if they could. For proof of this observe that the discordant husbands and wives never try to adjust themselves to each other. They never attempt to handle each other with tact. On the contrary, they go at each other hammer and tongs. They precipitate rows. They offer each other delib- erate insults. They knock the chips off each other's shoulders and have 8 perfectly beautiful scrimmage' all over the place. So we are wasting our pity in sympathizing with the disgruntled husbands and wives. They are having the time of t! e{l(x; llve‘!,‘e‘xchmm punches, DOROTHY DIX. ‘opyright, 1933.) GOOD TASTE TODAY BY EMILY POST. Famous Authority on Etiquette. [ slipping? first requirement of the EAR MRS. POST: Are you, You wrote: ‘The | wbrld of fashionable society (what is | much better than saying tbat in the left of it) today, as well as 150 years successful hostess is skill in | ago, “receipt” is the word used—when selecting congenial people, or the ability to bring together those who appear to be inharmonious,’ ‘Con- genjal’ people aren't inharmonious.” Answer: On rereading the sentence, T cannot feel especial pride in its clarity. Nevertheless I see no fault in the word “inharmonious.” ‘The perfect hostess tries to select congenial people, usually by inviting together those who belong to the | same political party, or those interested in sports, or music, etc. But as one cannot infallibly group people as one might list them in a business directory, the perfect hostess is one who, if sue senses a lack of harmony between cer- tain guests, finds a pleasant neutral ground upon which those who might otherwise be at variance meet in amity and even with pleasure. “My dear Mrs. Post: T was surprised to read your criticism of the word ‘recipe’ anl your preference for ‘receipt.” We all know that many of our illustrious characters in early American history were not an educated type. Many of the words they pronounced incorrectly, and many have since become obsolete. And yet you say because Mrs. Washing- ton and Mrs. Jefferson and some of the wives of other early Americans ‘receipt,’ this is one reason for your personal preference.” Answer: I quoted Mrs. Washington and Mrs. Jefferson merely because, not only were they the most prominent names of that day, but the beauty and refinement of houses such as Mount Vernon, Monticello, etc., were evidence Beryl Wallace of the #Vanities" New York sets Hair Styles! RIENDS are sure to admire your hair when you begin doing it like so many of New York’s smaftest girls are doing theirs! A little Danderine on your brush each time you arrange your hair is all it takes. But how that helps. Your hair becomes softer, fluffier, easier to arrange. It stays in place. Oily film is removed from the hair. Its full, natural color is brought out. It is given new life and sparkle! A Danderine hair cleanse and your hair looks its loveliest! ~ Waves “set” with it look nicer; stay in longer. 5 The worst crust of dandruff is promptly dissolved by Danderine. It cleanses, soothes, invigorates the scalp. Longer, thicker, more abun- dant hair invariably follows its reg- ular use. More than five million bottles are used a year! ~ Danderine The One Minute Hair Beautifier ALL_DRUG STORES ° 35 CENTS it is used at all. Recipe is said, I grant you, ten thousand times to receipt's one, because recipe is the com- mercial term. I have never heard recipe except on the radio cooking hours. It is printed in every modern cook book (except one, lately published in Mary- land, my own home State).. You are, of course, entirely right to use the word you prefer. But, naturally, I must give a conscientious interpretation of best traditions. I would better clase this column otherwise. My Neighbor Says: When storing parsley to keep it fresh, wash well, and while “dripping” place in a jar. Cover and store in a cold place. If the sink is at all greasy, try the following plan: Dip a piece of flannel in kerosene oil and rub all over the surface of the sink with it. Then wash well with warm water and soap and leave the cold water faucet run- ning for a few minutes. This helps to.clean the pipes as well as the sink. Always sweep rugs the way the nap runs. LUX saves stockingfi’/aslzbi{y The girl chum wants to know why the man who won't talk golf at his office thinks it's all right to_ practice putting in the living room at home. NATURE’S CHILDREN BY LILLIAN COX ATHEY. ERMINE. Putorius arctica. HE much coveted ermine is the Winter coat of the Arctic weasel. The animal is one of the most bloodthirsty little beasts in the world. In the Summer he wears a brownish yellow coat that blends with his surroundings, and in the Winter his pure-white coat makes him so_inconspicuous that his black tail is all that gives him away. This weasel is found in Arctic coast and tundras. It is about 15 inches long and the tail 7 inches. The ani- mals have an almost snakelike body and can follow their prey into un- believably small burrows. There are some 30 species of weasels and they are a numerous and widely distributed tribe, both in this country and Europe. Nearly all weasels have the same gen- eral coloration and are found in all regions where their is snow. All of them turn white as soon as the first snow appears. They are graceful, alert, cunning and daring. Their outstanding trait is a consuming curiosity, which takes them into highways and byways of every small animal. They have courage and marvelous resourcefulness, which proves this animal to have a high grade of intelligence. This hunter of note seeks his vic- tims under the ground, in the trees, through water and in any opening he thinks a tempting morsel may be hid- ing. He is one of the swiftest runners Sometimes he creeps up on his prey and attacks from behind. \ ARCTIC WEASEL ORERMINE: are impressed with the low forehead, the sharp nose and small, cunning, glittering eyes, with their angry green- ish-blue light. The teeth are cruel and sharp. They are worked by a mass of jaw muscles which cover the entire side of the skull. The fierce, demoniacal face and the long, snake- like neck make you wonder if the In- dian was not right about the wolverene and the ermine, too. Poultry men fear the visits of the | little, clever beast. In one night one | of them can kill as many as 50 grown fowls. e is a bloodsucker, who drinks | the bicdd of his victim and casts the | body aside. | In Octobsr or November, as soon as the first snow appears, the dark suit | is exchanged for a snowy white one. In olden days, only princes could wear an ermine coat. Having the price of one is all that is needed to possess | and wear one today. | " Night prowlers, most of them, they are often so bold that they are seen | during the day. Usually they occupy a burrow from which they have chased or killed the rightful owner. The mother gives birth to five bables and sometimes eight. At first they are blind and very small. When three weeks old .they have their sight. Until they are two months old they remain | with their mother, who is devoted to them. By the time they+have reached this age they are ready to hunt their own food and take care of themselves. They do not have to be taught to stalk and kill their prey—it was born in them. (Copyright, 1933.) Gifts Average $1,000 Daily. Gifts to the University of Texas av- eraged $1,000 a day for 49 years. ’ in the world and is soft-footed, too. | Looking an ermine in the face you | WOMEN'’S FEATURES. A WASHINGTON DAYBOOK JACK GARNER'S statement to the ess in joint im the next velt wants him to have an important place in the com- ing administration is indicated rather clearly by the way he has figured in conferences here during the next President’s visits. But, even if Roosevelt has made it clear that he is counting on the shrewd, ruddy-faced, experienced Tex- an to play a role quite outside that for which any Vice President has ever been cast, Garner still says, “I'd rather stay in the House.” For to him, at best, the vice presi- dency hardly can be more than an anti-climax of a long political career that had its high point the day he was chosen Speaker of the House. Garner is convinced, perhaps, that no matter how prominently he may figure in the coming administration, SONNYSAYINGS BY FANNY Y. CORY. It aren't goin’ to do in a mixed crowd, Tommy—there goes two more buttons! (Copyright. 1933.) there will be no opportunity to know any such moments of power and in- fluence as were those he enjoyed Speaker. As Vice President, for example, what opportunity could come his way such on that day when the House was almost open revolt on the sales tax and he stepped down from his dais and single-bandedly brought the House membership to its feet cheering and pledged to the passage of tax legisia~ tien that would balance the budget? And what chance will he have as presiding cfficer of the Senate to exers such power as he did on ‘the first Jday of the present short session, when he forced the House to vote on the ques- tion of submission of a naked repeal resolution to the States within thres hours of its convening? And when the prohibition _repeal resolution had cleared the Senate hurdle he found himself in a position to exert similar power again—the extreme limit of the written or implied powers of the Speaker. Not since the days of the czarlike | rule of “Uncle Joe” Cannon as Speaker has such a thing been done. Everyday Psychology BY DR. JESSE W. SPROWLS. Sanity and Insanity. Letier: “Will you please write am article setting forth the difference bhee tween sanity and insanity?"—J. B. C. Questions are easy to ask. Answers are sometimes hard to give. What you would like to know is something that psychology has been trying to find out for at least 50 years. There are too many degrees of both sanity and in- sanity for any one to answer accurately and definitely. One would have to know at least something about the specific case you have in mind. However, here are two gestures in the general direc tion of your question. One is positive, the other negative. If a person is able to take care of himself under ordinary social and economic conditions, better call him sane., Otherwise you might betray a twist in your own psychological make- up. You should accept the proposition that it is absolutely impossible for all people to act and think alike. I suspect that, after all, the world is a little more interesting because we are dif ferent. Here's the other gesture. The differ« ence between sanity and insanity is the ability to conceal emotions. When & person’s feelings get the toehold om his reasoning powers, he cannot rea- son ‘with accuracy. That is, his bee haviour shows signs of mental disor= ganization. The time May come when he will attract enough public attention to be judged insane. Insanity, like most other ills, has a way of working itself out of the system. The best ad- vice I can give is not to think much | about the pessibilities of insanity. MODE | Copyright. OF THE MOMENT dne 16 @ cfic simply cut W“d’. el wool enepe fi%@ AN AW o M@Wflm %-mfmm e erosim “All my spare cash used to go for stocke ings. Sometimes I'd get a run, sometimes they’d go at the heel or toe. “One day a saleswoman suggested washe ing stockings with Lux. ‘It saves the elas- ticity of the silk so it stands a lot more strain, gives much better wear,’ she said. I took her advice and, actually, my stocking bills are half what they used to be. Stock. ings give me twice as good wear.” mg' . QMoUwL. 6 g New York City 'OU, TOO, can avoid needless stocking runs and holes—save money on stock- ings. Simply wash stockings in Lux suds 80 it gives instead of breaking under strain, This easy Lux way takes only 2 minutes, Tty it tonight—every night! M. B. Haghes washed 443 picces with one box of Lux. Lux goes farther. It is 50 pure—so mild! ih