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Simple Simon met & pieman going to] e 1 | Said Bl.mple Simon to the pleman, | e taste you ware.” Baid the plemnn to_Simple Simon, | “Show me first your penny.” i Baid. Simple Simon to the pleman, | “Indeed I have not any.” “An altercation yesterday between two men nearly resulted in a trip to the sixteenth precinct. A man known #s Simple Simon to many people asked ® baker, who was driving to the fair, for a pie. The baker suspected that Simon had no money with which to | gurchm a4 pie and asked him to show is money first. This Simon refused to do, accordir to witnesses. Then he | admitted that he had no money. By | this time the baker had left his wagon end was about to strike Simon when passersby interfered.” * x % * A dillar, a dollar, & 10 o'clock scholar, What makes you come so soon? You used to come at 10 o'clock, But now you come at noon. “The school authorities R.:‘nlg! have . *en encountering difficul who arrive late for eir . Principal Smythe of the Clay School says that some of the children are arriving two hours late, thus demoraliz- mg other students and dlsnlvflnz the schedule. Unless this stopped at , once, henid,hevmex’el\-h!v\lvfll and summon the parents to why they do not send the children to echool on time.” * %% ¥ 3 . bell, Pussy’s in the well. Who put her in? Little Johnnie Greens, ‘Who pulled her out? Little Tommy Stout. prize-winning Angora cat owned by Mrs. DePeyster lv-m Clark was rescued from last night when little Tommy Stout of 66666 Wuruenth street dived lnur & well and Home in Good Taste BY SARA HILAND. A truly ‘plece of. furniture 4s one which may have several uses #and be placed appropriately ‘in- vari- ous rooms. In’ the - Nustration is such = plece, | - ih!nllc‘:binfl in a design \hlch makes of it an appropriate ‘“home” * %or books as well as china, and which may therefore be used in the living Toom or iibrary. It was originally intended for the | dining room, and for a large house this i there are many of \u however, -hn have to niture for small apartment, who must hq the fact in mind tf:t the living room is the mtmmuhmmumz dining room Therefore we - are upecu.\l,v dcll.htgd with & piece such | Mlde of beautifully grained ma- | hogany and given a -t.tn waxed fin- | sh, it is & piece of hmmun which | lends elegance and dignity to a room | and is at the same time very prac- Sical. _In.the upper part might be % t‘l\nl lnd books—and the small y Little Tommy Tucker sings for his sup- | | stipation. him drop Louise in the well. Luckily little Tommy Stout came along imme- | diately, and after several unsuccessful per, ‘What shall he eat? butter. How shall he cut it without any knll!7| How shall he marry without any wife? “Tommy, son of Mr. and Mrs. Rob- ert Tucker, sings each night for his supper, according to his ‘parents. He | has a soprano; voice, tut it 5 changing rapidly. Each night at about §:3) Tommy bégins io sing for | his supper. ‘He 18 | Slow fond of white bread and bulter’ says Mrs. Tucker. ‘We have mo knives in Tommy how he will cut the bread. Of vourse, he is young, but we {requently inquire how he expects to get married with- out any wife. He always replies, “ ‘So's your old man.” '™ * x % x Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the candlestick. “Jack. the son of Mr. and Mrs. John H. Glook, is one of the fastest men on the Gaga University track team. He is an excellent one-miler and the coach says that he will probably break a world’s record some day. He jumped over a candlestick last week in 2 sec- onds flat.” “Girls Jook lots better in the Winter time than they used to in the ole sleigh- ridin’ days o’ runnin’ noses an’ cracked cheeks,” sighed Tell mnl!ey ‘when in & reminiscent mood today. Conscience is that Invixtble me!.hln that warns us that we're either goin’ to git poisoned or catch the dlekeru when we _git home. Folks that suddenly m into the nsws- papers an’ dc: t take & good photo- graph are to be pitied. Bout _the only las ihat cut any these days are unwritten laws, (Copyright, 1930.) GET WASTE CUT OF YOUR SYSTEM Banish Constipation at the Start with Kellogg’s ALL-BRAN Look out when you wake up tired and stay tired. Beware of head- aches, u ‘R]e-unt breath. These a; usually the first symptoms of con- The trouble is that your intes- tinal system is clogfed You have eaten too many bulkless foods. But you can clean your system nlel;, if you mrt at once to eat Kellogg’s ALL-BR. Kel)ogt s ALL-BRAN is a cereal that you can eat naturally. sweeps the intestines clean of poisonous wastes. Far better than habit- forming pills and drugs. Kelloge’s ALL-BRAN is guaran- teed. Just eat two ublu nfuls daily—recurring cases "&oo every You'll like its erispness and fi.nvor Your system will efit b, its rich store of iron and healthful nlmmuuwdlubymmghn Ready-to-eat with milk or eream. Delicious with fruits and honey added. Use it in cookin Recipes are on the package for muffins -nd cakes. Sold by all grocer: - by )m'fils re‘:t’.uxr:fintl l!;d mmg—nn ade 10} n Battle Creek. o the favorite even before the price was cut. White bread and oxide: THE. EVENING STAR, WASHINGTON, PERSONAL HEALTH SERVICE BY WILLIAM BRADY, M. D. Carbon Monoxide. The effects of tobfioco are not merely those of nicotine, = Other substances are unguestionably wmzrned For one thing, carbon monoxide is pm-n! in tobacco smoke. Armstrong, Imunpwr, found that elnmt(e smoke eonhlmd per cent of carbon mon- Dixon, another ' British lnvud- (I‘M, demonstrated that the blood of clnrene smoker might contain u much as 5 per cent of carbon Dixon mnclmieflk ‘:‘hnt th;u cl:‘l:f efl;:‘l‘.u of cigarette smoking are due . bon monoxide poisoning, mn \ne eflem of cigar smoking are mainly Bogen, Clnmnlu, f'lll'ld the concentration of carbon monoxide in “mainstream” (the smoke puffed or sucked into the mouth) varies with the :!:;H:: is 1 .thhem'h “;k!::e: ast than when sm slow: likewite the amount of nicotine. Still another British investigator, Rolleston, found that the smoke from & pipe contains the most nicotine, that from & cigar less and that from a cigarette *he lnn ol all. I am sorry to broadeast this, for I don't believe it is so, but I must !ll'.hl\llly reevrd scientific data. Being fond of & pi like to think it is the least in {\;rl T x form of smoking: if nicotine chief factor, m-yh cm are the jurious form least in but in my opinion carbon monunde mheenm nelor o( harm in tobacco smoke, score parenily day she was sel ized with the region of the heart and to quit to milder, pains occu: stricts the finer arteries (arterioles) ng 15 minutes, basting frequently. Then 50 brings on b gra: the arteries and the the hun wall. in any fnmmnmuhuwh-nmol these I should mmmmnhen nhmflvnea-fl\n exposes the smoker consequences. No matter whether you chew, smoke | receive as high as $7.5 D. C., TUESDAY, . ps you mllne that your health but that is because you are -dumb about health. There is no question at all that slight excess in smoking invariably lowerlonexphnlcll} and mental ef that means health impairment, even if you can't say just which organ is out of order. No minor should ever be permitted to | tobacco. But ny umu adult, ke temperate use of it without risk ol health—if you know what I mean by te, (Copyright, 1930.) Tongue in Tomato Sauce. Combine one pint of tomatoes with an al quantity of mw:q‘:hl tongue from the can, place it in the tomato sauce and simmer for add one can of peas drained and cook for 10 minutes longer. Remove the tongue to a hot platter and surround 1t with the sauce. to these serious University mnmm | having 2 wnrld wide a year, in utation. seldom | | tni JANUAKY SONNYSAYINGS BY FANNY Y. CORY. T'd hab said a lot more prayers if I had knowed I was goin’ t' see such urutl‘ tweer Jookin' fings in the torner (Copyright, 1930.) "noc FEA1URES. Straight Talks to Women About Money BY MARY ELIZABETH ALLEN. Are You Rated “Slow”? In the business world credit men list | concerns as “good,” “poor,” “slow” and | 80 forth. | & concern 5{ slow they generally mean 11 pay, but it will pay in its good time and it will not hh advan- discounts. Such firms are not considered favorably by men, credit | and in good times they are often denied Sredit at all. aod ki e Others are rated “slow,” they their delinquency in settling accounts in one way or another. On.ly m x&h“ ... intance of mllu an acquai whose )lublu I 1'1'.’?1 always thought of an article . My selling for $12. incident seemed strange to me, but my Acquaintance accepted it as a matter of course, The proprietor of the store was | credital A friend had told us | known to me, and as my friend con- tinued to look lbouh I e conversation. My first ally was his strai surprised me with t! the would-be buyer and such patronage was not desirable. Of course, my embarrassment was him in n-im- great. However, I said were out of the sh to my “slow” friend who Mw purchase th-t one omn did better if one bought for Some concession, T felt sure, wvull have been n-n- 8 Candidly I was told that * more” was & natural. result bfmhlbc rated “slow.” We began to go over ac- counts later ll. home, and that the problem of them was not unsurmountably difficult. Soon my friend will lose that “slow” rating, and be the gainer in many ways. .:nlyh:\ two-price pol}lc.m Rinly vs A two- none of N“MMM Bu e r!!l‘ charge accoun! deunmuncy in settling, and so be dopnud of opportunities to ‘while 1ife merchants willingly and gladly accommodate n:a in ways de- nkdvmd even unknown to the “slow” Erst sweeping HOLLYWOOD — then BROADWAY — and now the WUROPEAN CAPITALS Lux Toilet Soap cares for the; loveliest complexions in the world You can keep your skin exquisitely smooth just as 9 out of 10 glamorous screen stars do NG ago our own charming Holly- wood stars discovered that for attractiveness a girl must have soft, smooth skin—and discovered that Lux Toilet Soap keeps the skm at its very loveliest. Then the famous Broadway stage stars became equally enthusiastié about this delicately fragrant white soap. Never have they' been more grateful to it than since so many of them are playing in the talkies! 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