Evening Star Newspaper, June 19, 1929, Page 21

TTHE EVENING STAR, WASHINGTON, D. G, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 19, 1929. MONEY FOR NOTHING By P. G. Wodehouse (Copyright, 1920, by North American Newspaper Synopsis of Preceding Installments. | Dolly and “Soapy” Molloy, crooks who | e as rich Americans, know that Lester | armody ‘wants to sell his heirlooms. but is revented by law from doing so. They sus: e . “and . an- he! Thes lan to double-cross both Carmody and ist_and get away with the loot, Chimp | es the job, but is seen by the butler, who | tells Carmody's nephew, John Carroll. ' John | 865 To auestion Twist, and Dolly eoés, too he not only has John doped and locked up, but also gives Twist knockout drops. Then she phones “Soapy” to seize the loot, which "is supposed to be concealed 1n Car mody's house, and meet her in London But Carmody ‘has sent the stuff to the lug: Eage office of a railway station. “Soapy” stumbles on this fact, and also learns that | the claim ticket is on John's person. He dashes for Twist's place. Twist and John | nockout d | imprison- | to miss an’ engage. yvern. When he learns | the Tobbery. he dashes. for | home: only to learn that Patricia. furious at his fallure o appear, has accepted Proposal of marriage f rom’ his cousin, Hugo. (Continued From Yesterday's Star.) THIRTIETH INSTALLMENT. OME years before, as a member of | the English Rugby foot ball fif- | teen, it had become necessary for | John one rainy afternoon in Dub- | lin to fall on the ball at a mo- ment when five or six muscular Irish| forwards were endeavoring to kick it. Until this moment he had ranked that | as the most unpleasant experience of his | life His fingers tightened their clutch on | fhe table. He found its support grateful. | “Hugo?" he said. | He felt numbed, just as he had felt | numbed in Dublin, when what had ap- | to be a flock of centipedes with cleated boots had made him the object of their attentions. There came to him the sound of his uncle’s voice. Mr. Carmody was saying that he was de- lighted. And the impossibility of re- maining in the same room with & man | who could be delighted at the news that Pat was engaged to Hugo swept over John like a wave. Releasing his grip | the table, he tottered into the garden. | Pat was walking on the lawn, and at | the sight of her John found himself | in_a white-hot fury. | He was hurt all over, but he was so | angry that only subconsclously was he | aware of this. Pat was looking so cool and alluring, so altogether as if it caused her no concern whatever that she had made a fool of a good man that | he felt he hated her. | She did not attempt to avoid his eye—the least, John felt, that she could have done in the circumstances. She ‘was looking straight at him and there was something of defiance in her gaze. To her, judging from her manner, he was not the man whose hopes she had raised by kissing him that night on the Skirme, but merely an unwelcome in- sruder. Sso you're back?” she said. i john was anxious to speak, but afraid that if he spoke he would stammer, and 2 man on an occasion like this does pot wish to give away by stammering the fact that he is not perfectly happy and debonair and altogether without & care in the world. “I hear you're engaged to Hugo,” he speaking carefully. “Yes.” “Tt's—a little sudden, isn’t 1t2” 5 “7”“ H t_back? “When ugo ck?” “This morning. letter arrived by fl}e‘nnv. post and he came right on top of it.” “His letter?” “Yes. He wrote asking me to marry im. “on!” John relapsed into a gray silence, Pat stifled a yawn. “Did you have a nice time yester- @ay she asked carelessly. “Not so very nice,” said John. “I dare say you heard that we had a burglary up at the Hall. I went off to catch the criminals and they caught m “Wha! “I was fool enough to let myself be drugged and when I woke up I was locked in a room with bars on the windows. I only got out an hour or so ago.” “Johnnie!” ““However, it ended happily. I've got the stuff that was stolen.” “But, Johnnie! I thought you had .nrl\fl off picknicking with that Molloy girl.” "It may have been her idea of pic- | nicking. She wal one of the gang. Quite the leading spirit, I gather.” He had lowered his eyes, but an odd choking sound caused him to look up. Pat’s mouth had opened and she was staring at him, and if she had ever looked more beautiful John could not remem- ber the occasion. Something seemed to clutch at his throat and the garden, seen indistinetly through a mist, danced & few steps in a tentative sort of way, as if it were trying out something new that had just come over from America. And then, as the mist cleared, John found that he and Pat were not, as he had supposed, alone. Standing beside him was a rugged and slightly unkempt | person, clad in a bearskin that had ob- viously not been made to measure, in whom he recognized a Stone Age an- cestor who had come to give him a few words of advice in a moment of crisis. The ancestor was looking at John reproachfully. In appearance he was rather like Sergt. Maj. Flannery, and, when he spoke, it was with that well remembered voice. “Oo-er,” sald the ancestor. “Now | you see what's happened or occurred or come about, if I may use the ex- pression, through your not doing what | I told you. Did I or did I not repeat- edly urge and advise you to behave toward this girl in the ‘manner tested and proved the correct one by me and all the rest of your ancestors in the days when men were men and knew how to go about these matters? Now you've lost her, whereas, if you'd done T e “Stay!” said a quiet, saintly voice, | and John perceived that another form had ranged itself beside him “Still, maybe it's not too late even | mow . . . “No, no,” said the newcomer, and John was now able to see that this was his better self, “I must protest. Let us, please, be restrained and self- effacing. 1 deprecate these counsels of violence.” “Tested and proved correct . . .? in- serted the ancestor. “I'm giving him good advice, I'm pointing out to 'im, as you say, the proper method.” “I consider your advice subversive to & degree,” said better self coldly, “and I disapprove of your methods. The | thing for this young man to do is to | accept _the situation This girl i -lookil like a gentle- engaged to another bright young man, Newspaper Alliance and Metropolitan Bervice.) the heir to a great esiate and an ex- | cellent match.” “Mashed potatoes!” said the Stone Age ancestor coarsely. “The thing ‘ere, | and handles any problem that may be | vexing her. | " “Would you really, Johnnie?” | “Certainly. Where is he?” | “He went off in the direction of the | village.” Carmody Arms,” " diagnosed John. And he strode down the garden with | strong, masterful steps. | Hugo was not in the Carmody Arms. | He was standing on the bridge over | the Skirme, his eves fixed on the water. i John began to feel his way into the | subject he had come to discuss. “Nice day,” hé said “What is?" said Hugo. “This.” “I'm glad you think so, John." said Hugo. “I want your advice. I've gone | and got engaged to Pat.” Having _exploded | young fellow, is you just take this girl | Hugo gazed at his cousin with a certain | nd grab her and ‘'old ‘er in your arm: as the saying is, and never mind how many bright, good-looking young men she's engaged to. ‘Strewth! Whea I was in me prime, you wouldn't have found me ’esitating. Just you spring smartly to attention and grab 'er with | both ‘ands in a soldierly manner.” “Oh, Johnnie, Johnnie!” said Pat. and her voice was a wail. Her eyes were bright with dismay and her hands fluttered in a helpless manner. John hesitated no longer. Hugo be blowed! His better s blowed! Everything and everybody be blowed, except this really excellent old gentle- | man who, though he might have been better tailored, was so obviously a mine | of information on what a young man should know. Springing smartly to at- tention, he held out his arms in a sol- dierly manner, and Pat came into them like a little boat into harbor after a storm. A faint sigh told him that his | better self had withdrawn discomfited, but the sigh was drowned by the ap- proval of the ancestor. “Oo-er,” boomed the nncestor thun- derously. The garden had learncd that dance moody satisfaction “Yes?” said cohn. “You don't seem Hugo, disappointed. “Oh, I'm _astonished,” ““How did it happen?” surprised,” ding that started the whole trouble,” he said. *“You remember I told you about Ronnie’s man, Bessemer>” “I remember you said he had re- markable ears.” “Like airplane wings. Nevertheless, he got married yesterday. The wed- ding took place from Ronnie's flat.” “Yes?? Hugo sighed. 3 “Well, you know how it is, John. There's’ something about a wedding, even the wedding of a gargoyle like Bessemer, that seems to breed senti- mentality. It may have been the claret cup. I warned Ronnie against the claret cup. But he said that, if T thought I was going to waste cham- pagne on the blighter, I was mistaken. So we more or less bathed in claret cup at the festivities, and it wasn't more than an hour afterward when some- thing seemed to come over me all in a | to Wenlock Edge and you never turned | Hug, that’s what I'm doing. | Ro Trip Atlantic City Sunday, June 23 SPECIAL THROUGH TRAIN Via Delaware River Bridee Stand aves Washington Baltimore (Penna. §ta.) 1: Returning, lea Atlantie OMY, a1 casis s oo o BIOPINL Additional Excursions July 4. 7, 21, August 4, 18, September 1, 15,29 Pesnsyivania Roread now. It was simple, once you got the | hang of it. All you had to do, if you | <What?" were a tree, was to jump up and down.| “well, a sort of aching, poignant while, if you were a lawn, you just went | feeling. Al the sorrows of the world round and round. So the trees jumped | seemed to be laid out in front of me in up and down and the lawn went round | 4 solid mass. I just sat there, bursting and round and John stood still in the | with pity for the whole human race, middle of it all, admiring it. and suddenly it all seemed in a flash, “Oh, Johnnie” said Pat. “What on | as it were, to become concentrated on P rush.” earth shall I do?” “Go on just like you are now.” “But about Hugo, I mean.” “Yes. You see, I thought about you Hugo? Hugo? John concentrated. | and Pat and how Pat wouldn't look at Yes, he recalled now, there had been|you, and all* at once there flashed some little difficulty about Hugo. across me what I took to be the ex- “Pat,” he said, “I love you. Do you | planation. Something seemed to whis- love me?” | per to me that the reason Pat couldn't Yes. e | see you was that she was secretly pin- “Then what on earth” demanded |ing Yor me.” John, “did you go and get engaged %0 | “‘what on earth made you think Hugo for?” . | that?” He spoke a little severely, for in some | “ .y oking back on it now, I can see mysterious fashion all the awe With | ¢n.“} was the claret cup. That and which this girl had inspired him for | ypa” JiCChnere of a weddngl. I sat so many years had left him. His in-| gown, John, and I_wrote Pat. asking feriority complex had gone. And it | RO SO0 S0 TrNEE ANCd with & was due, he gathered, solely to the fact | oo 0 MUY M " 080 Soor girl. that he was holding her in his arms g, after I'd mailed the letter, I rca- and kissing her. At any moment during | b (0 T TRe e B So ol “thing the last half dozen years this childishly | W50 VAR § 0 4 0 trains to Rudge. simple remedy had been at his disposal | \/." o0\ gaware, John, that this place and he had not availed himself of it. |} & ihe’ rottenest train service in Eng- He was astonished at his remissness. | P28, the fOUeRest it SRAct, T isced “But T thought you didn't care & bit | jhore jen't anything 'till 9:20. And, for me,” wailed Pat. | what with all this on my mind, T missed John stared. “Well, you had promed to take me | that. too. In the end, I had to take You burst with pity for Pat?” T You had gone out | 1ast. and. racing like a hare. rushed to D Yo Naturally_} | Pat's house. I had an idea I might in- tHought » . .” > % | tercépt the postman and get him to “You shouldn’t have.” . give me my letter back.” “Well, I did. And so, when Hugo's| He wouldn't have done that.” letter come, it seemed such a wonderful | “He didn't have to, as things turned chance of showing you that I didn’t |out. Just as Igot to the house he was care. And nmow what can I say to|coming out, after delivering the letters. 02" I think I must have gone to sleep stand- ‘Hugo thinks he's engaged to you?” |[ing up. At any rate, I came to with a Yes.” ' start and I was leaning against Pat's he isn't.” front gate, and there was Pat, looking “No. at me, and I said, ‘Hullo!’ and she said, “Then that” said John, seeing the |‘Hullo!" and then she said that she'd thing absolutely clearly, “is all we've |got my letter and would be delighted got_to tell him.” to_marry me.” “You talk as if it were so simple!” “And then?" “So it is. What's hard about it?” “Oh, 1 said, ‘Thanks awfully’ or “I wish you had it to do.” words to that effect.” “But, of course, I'll do it,” said John.| John reflected. It astonished him that she should have | “Let me see” he said suddenly, contemplated any other course. Nat- [“when did you say Pat got engaged to urally, when the great strong man be- | you?"” 2 comes engaged to the timid, fluttering [ “It must have been around 9, T sup- little girl, he takes over all her worries | pose.” | CLEARANCE SPRING MODELS AT REDUCTIONS of 3314% Frocks for all occasions, coats, hats and knitted wear included. i | preectl INCORPORATED. 1919 Que Street -,“”"""y“-"." ? NORTHWEST VACATIONLANDS Tew EMPIRE BUILDER extra fast—extra fine—no extra fare ‘This new companion train of the Oriental Limited affords the utmost in travel luxury over a route famed for historic interestand scenic beauty « « « Special Pullman equipment in- cludes the largest, most perfectly- appointed sun room observation car ever built. Radio equipped, of course. Léaves Chicago daily,9:00 p.m. for Glacier National Park, Spokane, Seattle, Tacoma, Portland. For reser- vations, call, write or phone EDMUND H, WHITLOCK, District Pass. Ast. 4 Finance hiladel The New Electrified Cascade Tunnel Route 1] the milk train. But I got to Rudge, at | | | | John's face cleared. cause, 10 minutes ago Pat got engaged to me. A light breeze was blowing_through the garden as John returned. It played with sunshine in Pat's hair as she stood by the lavender hedge. “Well?” she said eagerly. “It’s all right,” said John. “You told him?” e There was & pause. The bees buzzed among the lavender. “Was he—o72" “Cut _up? g “Yes,” sald John. “But he took it like a sportsman. I Jeft him almost cheer- | this bombshell, | ful.”" He would have said more, but, his at- tention was diverted by a tickling sen- sation in his right leg. A suspicion that seld [one of the bees, wearing of lavender was exploring the surface of his calf, said John. | came to John. But, even as he raised a hand to swat the intruder, Pat spoke ‘It was that bloke Bessemer's wed- |again. “Johnnie.” “Hullo?"” “Oh, nothing; I was just thinking.” “Thinking? What about?” “You.” “What were you thinking about me Only that you were the most won- derlulu\‘hlng in the world.” at!” “You are, you kno: said Pat. ex- amining him™ gravely, “I don't know what it is about you, and I can’t im-| agine why I have been all these years nnal::gh!t mx:. but“yun’re the dearest, - 9 " «Be- | SWeetest, most angelic . . .” ‘Then that's all right,” he said. “Be-! “Tell me re,” said John. He nmk her in his arms and time |stinging him, but he made no move. stood still. “Pat!” whispered John. He was now positive that it was a bee and almost as positive that it was merely choosing a suitable spot before The moment was too sacred. (The End.) FOR SAFETY’S SAKE STORE Your Furs and Woolens WITH FOOTER’S AMERICA’S BEST CLEANERS AND DYERS 1332 G St. N.W. 1784 Columbia Rd. N.W. 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