Evening Star Newspaper, May 30, 1926, Page 47

e “you're crazy! Philosophy in the Home Takes New and Unusually Striking Forms THE Amusing Stuff, as Well as'Atmosphere, SUNDAY STAR, - WASHINGTON, Is Found by Buying American Antiques BY NINA WILCOX PUT: AM. S Wm. M. Thackery, who I hear was quite a well-known writer, once said in his book on dieting, “Where there’s a wil. theres a weigh.” But it seems to me that I have more often observed that where there's a will, there's a contest. And in a third sense this is also wvery true. by which I mean a contest of wills such as I and George, that’s my husband, get into every once in a whfle, or I and Junior, which hap- pened only last week. The whole trouble commenced with George giving Junior a set of carpen- ter's tools for Junior’s birthday and his own personal satisfaction. It sure was a beautiful toolpox, I could of easy used it myself to keep table.linen in, and the stuff inside wasn't any fake, neither. In fact, it was so real that T didn't exactly approve of him having them, not at his age. Not but what I want my boy to be a real boy and learn to be a regular man through undergoing all the apparently neces- sary dangers, such as shot-guns, rolierskates, bicycle-riding amid the automobiles and etc. And so of course I also wanted him to have a set of carpenter tools and learn to use them. But it did seem to me where it would be a whole lot better if the carpenter tools was to be a cute little set made of rubber, so's he wouldn't be able to hurt himself with them. And the set Geo. had picked out was terrible strong and sharp looking, why a person could perform a murder with them, or they made you think of a major operation or something! Why George Jules, I says, the child will kill hisself with them things, don't Te silly, don’t give them to him. But tieo. says don't you be silly, if you think he aint gonner use them things, For the luvva tripe, let the boy be a man! And I says well, that's just what I was trying for. But for onct I hadda admit Geo. was right, on account no sooner did Junior get that murderer’s outfit then he started right in to use it. He used it first of all on the new library table which we got in our parlor, and he sure give it a handsome set of false teeth right along the whole of one side. Then he used them on a bed- room chair, doing a subtraction sum on that, by which I mean, taking one from four and leaving three in the way of legs. Also he hammered six nails into the piano stool and with his darling little jigsaw put a picture puzzle on the front of the sideboard. And that was all the further he got on account I came home then and interrupted the , ¥oung genius’ train of thought. Then when I had put my slipper back on again, I give him a good scolding besides and took away the toolchest and put it up on the high- est shelf in the cupboard. There now, you little villian! I says, I hope that will learn you to wreck my furniture! And as for your car- penter's tools, you can't never have them again, do you hear? And I guess Junior heard, although he didn't say 8o, but merely awa'-booho ah, Ma! In the conventional childish way under such circumstances. o LL, Hot Bozo! I was pretty mad, and I come near losing my temper, but luckily I didn't get a chanct really to, on account just about then what would ring only the tele- phone, and who would it be but Mabel Bush, the one who's married to that Joe Bush of the Hawthorne Club. Say dear, she says, whatter you doing to- day? And I says I don’t know, yet. I says that, see, on account I am not caught so easy, and I didn't know —but if Mabel Bush wanted me to look after that awful kid of hers or something, I wanted to benefit by rea- sonable doubt instead of having to suddenly dig up a_doubtful reason for saying no. So I says I dom’t yet know, dear. And she says Oh I do hope you can take a little ride out in the country with me, dear, I've Just heard where there is some won- derful old furniture and I want to go see can I get it for little or nothing. You know I am completely refurnish- ing my house, and I am doing so in Early American Antiques. And so, seeing I wasn't letting my- self in for nothing more serious then Mabel's driving of that antique car of hers, I says, Yes dear, I will be delighted. So Mabel says she would me right after lunch, and she , and the very minute I got in the car with her she commenced talking about this Antique stuff. Say, my dear, she says I am so excited, it's about a lovely old early genuine Chippedtobits chair. Mrs. Goofnah told me last night she had seen it out to a farm at Hayseed, Long Island, and she offered the wom- an a dollar and fifty for it, and the woman held out. Mrs. Goofneh is going back tomor- row and offer her two dollars because the chalr is worth every cent of a hundred dollars so I thought I would Just run out and give the woman two twenty-five or even go as high as five dollars if necessary, of course Mrs. Goofnah is one of my very dearest friends, and I wouldn’t go behind her | back for worlds,” especially in this case, because if I was to gobehind her back, why that would mean she was ahead of me and she might get the chair, I am so excited! And I says, Hot Bozo! I don’t see what for, it you are anxious to get a extra chair for your house they are having a sale of chairs this week down to the Emporium at $5.50 ea. Why not pay a little more and get a new one? ‘Well, the lock Mabel give me couldn’t of been translated, not into American, anyway, the censors wouldn’t of allowed it. Well, you poor dear, she says, how absurd! Why, don’t you know that antique furniture is the thing to have now- adays? she says, don’t you know any- thing about “Amusing stuff” or “At- mosphere?”” And I says oh yes. But I thought you was talking about furniture! ‘Well, about that time we had come to a street where there was what I at first took to be a junk shop, but the sign says L. Jipem, Antiques, Rare Pleces, or What Have You? Mabel stopped in front. Do you mind dear, if we run in here a min- ute, first? she says. And I says of course not, I suppose you want him to sell off some of your second hand things for you now that you are get- all new things, I mean old. And che says no, no, I merely want to see If he has found an Early 17th Cen- utry Itallan Ice-box for me that he thought he could locate. And I says well dear, if he can't make the grade, T know where there is a early Italian ice-box, it's at Tony's grocery, right around the corner. It's real early, you can get milk out of it as early as seven a.m. But Mabel didn't seem interested. She had caught sight of a old kitchen cupboard standing just outside the shop door. There was no back to it and the front was mostly missing, somebody had smashed it full of buck- shot, and it had a bad list to star- board. But Mabel went up and all but kissed it. Oh, isn’t it a love? She says, isn’t it a perfect darling? And 1 says whose darling, the ash-mans? And she says Oh Jennle, I simply must have it for my lving room! And she rushed in and asked the man how much? And the man says it's only one hundred and ninety, and Mabel says not bad, not bad, I'll take it, I oughtn’t to, I can’t afford it, but I will. * & ok % wELL, I thought it was pretty bad, myself, seeing that the only rea- sonable use she could have for it in her living room would be in the open fireplace. But Mabel wasn’t satisfled with the cupboard. She bought not alone it and the amusing period ice- e D S=2/277 5l “THE ONE THAT SLEPT IN IT WAS GONNER HAVE A RARE OLD TIME” box, but a charming old pair of early American dishrags, one of the original copies of the Volstead Act, a broken- gaited-leg table, a oak bench on which the worm appeared to of turned many times, and a bunch of old brown 'bot- tles that the junkman wouldn't of give two cents for, as they was all re- fillable and of no standard brand. Then, when she had said no, no, that is positively all, I must run be- fore I get tempted any further, why she stopped dead in front of a early Pullman mirror with a mangy frame and a glass in it that had a light at- tack of leprosy, and made her face look like a dish of badly scrambled eggs. Oh what a duck! she says, just the thing for my front hall, how much Is it? And then that started her off again, and she afforded a mildewed bureau with cracked legs for her guest room that she and the salesman both claimed was ve amusing, and I agreed with them—it would be amus- inz to see the guests try and use it, anyways. Also she got what they called a tester-bed. It was a tester, no doubt of that, a tester endurance to try and sleep on it, on account of the lovely quaint old rope springs and the picturesque bug-holes in the posts that held up the canopy. Both the sales boy and Mabel said it was a rare old plece, and I could see where the one that slept in it was gonner have a rare old time, but as for it being rare in any other sense, quite to the contrary, it was kinda over-done. But while at first the whole thing got me hooking, on account I had many times before passed that shop under the impression the stuff on the sidewalk had been put out to wait for the man from the city dump, well anyways, after I seen the price tags and listened to the line, I begun to go kind of cuckoo my own personal seif, and commenced yelling Oh my deah, isn't this too quaint? whenever I stumbled over a old iron double-boiler or bumped into a moth-eaten kitchen table. In the end I actually caught my- self paying out five perfectly good iron men for a dagerertype of the grandmother of some perfect stranger —a homely old woman at that. The reason I bought it, was that there wasn’t nothing else in the store for five dollars and I had commenced to crave antiques as soon as I realized that it was really a fashionable vice— and the prices was ample proof of that. Belleve you me, nobody but the right people could afford to haul stuff out of that grab-bag! ‘Well anyways, after a while, Mabel, having tried to buy the old boards in the floor of the shop, decided we'd bet- ter be on our way to the farm out in the country where Mrs. Goofnah had the chair ‘staked out. So we went there, and Mabel found the place and she says, now my dear, don’t say a word when you see the chalir, or the price will go up. But she need not of warned me. ‘When I seen it I was speechless all right. On account Mabel went driving into the barn and come out breathless, holding onto a chair that had been i \ A i through several major operations in-|gog, cluding having its face lifted, its UD- | week. What should I do if he takes a holstery plucked, been in a mud-pack, lost two legs and part of its backbone. However, Mabel was delighted. Isn't it a dear? she says, putting it in the back of the car as careful as if it had been eggs. Isn't it a sweetle? she says, and I only hadder give the woman three dollars after all! I just know Mrs. Goofnah will be perfectly furious, but all's fair in war and An- tique collecting. The thing is worth at least a hundred and seventy-five dollars if it's worth a cent. And nat. urally T agreed with Mabel if that darned thing was worth even a cent it was worth anything else she liked to name—{ * % x K WELL. after that we took our amus- ing little interesting rare plece of early American calamity back to Mabel's house, where I and she and the hired girl carried the remains in- to the house as careful and respect- fully as if they had been human, and after Mabel had called it pet names for twenty or so minutes, she showed mgq the rest of her collection, and told how she was throwing out all her vulgar modern furniture, and even the common-place solid mahogany that her grandmother had left her and how she was replacing it as fust as possible with pine and maple stuff, all very weak and with the ricketts—in other words, the very latest thing in interior desecration. . Wi when I had seen the entire bone-yard, the very cream of the early American barn yards, if you get me, why I says good-bye, dear, I belleve I will walk home, I want to think. And then she says well dear, I cer- tainly have enjoyed having you with me today. And I could see she sin- cerely meant it, too, what wouldn't enjoy spending about a thou- sand dollars on anything before a best friend who she knew wasn't able to afford to do the same? So I says I have had a wonderful time, too, dear, I says, especlally since I have for some time been intending to do our house over in Antiques, only I been waliting to see how decrepit your stuff was so's I could have ours a little worse—I mean better, and I wanner say right now that I think your taste is simply extraordinary! So then we give each other one of them mind-the-paint kisses of two girl- friends, and I walked on home de- termined I would have my house done up in Antiques, but worried to death, pretty near, over the expense. An- tiques, it seemed, come terrible high, and I didn’t see any ways that we could possibly afford them. Then, just as I reached despair and my front door I had a idea. I seen how I could get Antiques as good as Mabel's and much cheaper. I walked right in to the cupboard where I had put the toolchest Geo. had give Junior for his birthday, on the high- est shelf, took it down again, and give it back to my son. Here, darling, I says, Mommer wants her little boy to have his fun—go right ahead and show Mommer what you can do to the furniture—go as far as you like, I promise not to lick you! (Copyrirht, 1026.) Carpenters’ Concert While You Sleep One of Those Things Hard to Ignore BY RING LARDNER. O the editor: So far I ain’t never heard of nobody even offering to take the negtaive side of the proposition that girls will be girls and no won- der when you come to think of it. For instants we had callers the other week for some reason another and one of the ladies hadn’t never been inside of our little love nest before and she asked to be showed all around and her verdict was what a pretty home you have got and it is arranged so lovely too. So after the Co. had gone the madam asked me did I have any money and I sald not much but was expecting & check from the man who I had sold them 2 loads of gravel to that I had shook out of my shoe when we had came home from Princeton that time with.the Hammonds. “Well,” she says, “I have got to have some extra money as I want to make a lot of alterations on the house.’ Iterations!” I explained. that woman tonight said she thought it was 8 lfvely house and also ar- vely.” said the madam, might come again and if she seen it the next time just like it is now they ‘wouldn’t be nothing she could say. So anyway we are in the throws of alterations and the main idear of same seems to be to provide a kind of @ private ward for the master which I don’t never half to poke my head out of same even for meals and I can be kept a absolute secret from both friends and morbild curiosity seekers and will be living under prac- tically the same conditions like Mrs. Haversham or the guy’s wife in Jane re. The only time I been consulted in regards to the affair was one day when I happened to collide with the interior decorator in the hall and she said her and the madam had been disgusting it between themselves but just to satisfy her own curiosity she would ask me what would I like my told her new room done in. So I ‘would like it done in a hurry. Tuck would have 1t T was brought up on morning newspapers and have never been able to get over the habit of doing my best sleeping between 8 a.m. and noon and it seems that is the same hours when carpen- I 3‘:-'“ their loudest work and while house ain't no %ollee booth, still m all neither is it big enough so as you can be reoming in any one corner “HE STARED IN THE WINDOW AND BEGAN MAKING GRIMACES.” ———— on the premises. been kind of anxious get some sleep and I made a 0 that effect to the madam “It won't be much longer,” of it and not know that they's 17 car- penters giving a concert elsewheres So that is why I e et hurry . gel ugh so as I coul remark she says. “They are going at it hammer and tongs.” “Well,” I says, “I wished they would get to the tongs solo.” Was it not for my training with my kiddles it would of certainly been impossible for me to tour the house lately without serious accident. Chil- dren, or at lease my children, uses chairs for only one purpose, to stand on the rungs of same to see if they will break. When they want to read or play some sedentary game, they lay or set on the floor. So I have just naturally acquired the habit of watching my step in roaming from room to room so as not to scrunch no bodies and only for that practice why in the last few wks. they’s no telling how many brave 3-3°1¢ “THE CARPENTER'S PLACE 1S EVIDENTLY ON _THE FLOOR.” e = union men I would of trampled under ft. while patrolling my baronial halls which a former Marine told me re- minded him of Belleau Wood in late hazards Because no matter if bulld s new fire July, 1918, as far as hui was concerned. the contract is to D. BY ED WYNN, BAR Mr. Wynn: I am a mar- ried man. Have been mar- ried for 16 years but am very unhappy. My wife and 1 quarrel all the time. Wh.ltl can I do? My wife is 40 years old. Truly yours, NERVIS RECK. Answer—Chan her for two twentles. Dear Mr. Wynn: I read.in the news- papers that the Statue of Liberty's right hand measures 11 inches. Is that true, and, if so, why did they make it just 1135 inches. . Yours truly, HUGH GOTTA SHOWME. Answer—Her hand was made 11%; inches long because the sculptor knew that i he made her hand 12 inches long it would have been a foot. Dear Mr. Wynn: I know nothing about the workings of the stock market but my ambition is to become a speculator on Wall Street. What T want to know is, will they make me a “bull” or a ‘“bear.” Sincerely, E. Z. MARK. Answer—If you know nothing about ‘Wall Street they will not make you & “bull” or a ‘“bear.” They will make a ‘‘monkey” out of you. H Dear Mr. Wynn: I went to a friend's house, yesterday, and he had some home-made whisky. I didn’t take any but he took one drink,; then wanted to sell me the City of St. Louis for I promised to call on him next drink and {t makes him so crazy as to want to sell me St. Louis for $20? Yours truly, KAYNEN ABOL. Answer—Don't be silly. If he takes a drink of whisky and offers you St. %flul: for $20, you take a drink and uy it. Dear Mr. Wynn: I went into the dining room of the Astor Hotel yes- terday and I saw 35 people get up from their tables and walk out of the room. I wonder why? Yours truly, D. ZERT. Answer—They were through eating. Dear Mr. Wynn: I read in the napers that the man who was just ar- rested for having eight wives says he became a bigamist merely in the name of humanity. What does he mean? Truly yours, UNO THATSALYE. marry her. ‘What shall I do? Answer—He probably is a very kind man and married all those women to keep them from becoming old maids and sho ''1g themselves. Dear Mr. Wynn: On my next birth- day I will be 21 years old. I am torn between two thoughts. I am keeping company with a girl and expect to BY STEPHEN LEACOCK. T was when I had reached the age of 67 that it began to occur to me that I was getting old. Cer- tain warning symptoms, in them- selves nothing, had arisen to convince me of this fact. In the first place I had lost my hair.. The first time I dropped a hair I thought nothing of it. I was playing golf at the time and did not stop to pick it 1 Even when a friend remarked, “You have lost a halr this morning,” I merely an- swered, “Yes, somewhere on the links,” and allowed the matter to pass without comment. I lost two hairs that same after- noon in a thunderstorm, but was still inclined to minimize the gravity of it. Suffice it to say that the time came when I was down to four halrs—two on each side just above the ear. 1 felt now in serious danger of bald- n One day while carelessly sit- ting in front of an electric fan I lost all of them. The change in my appearance was very striking. As I entered my club that evening an acquaintance of mine fell back in_astonishment. “Good heavens!” he exclaimed, “where are your hairs?” *I lost all four of them,” I said. “Never mind,” he said, “Queen Elizabeth was bald, and yet look at all she aid.” This soon proved, however, to be only the first of various symptoms, trivial in themselves, which Indicated the oncoming of possible old age. Keeping pace with the loss of my hair, and the stalling of my diges- tion, I had acquired rheumatism. My first warning of it was that I found myself unable to lower my left hand below my hip. After that I was unable to turn my neck sideways. A 1ittle later I lost the power to move my ears. In fact my condition was one verging on locomotor ataxia. My rheumatism was accompanied, also, by dlstressing symptoms—first warnings—of heart disease. ¥re- quently my heart would stop beating for 10 minutes at a time, and I had carpenter’s place is evidently on the fioor, o:: as the French have it, aux fleurs. It may be only fair to the madam to confess that plans for my new cell resulted from complaints on my part that they was certain features of the old one which made the creation of immortal literature a difficult propo- sition. It was on the ground floor and the only logical site for desk and writer was at & window plainly visible from the street and vice versa.d will Iquote @ few incidence where this situ- ation come near being fatal. One day Pola Negri was riding by at the wheel of a high-powered car and happened to look up at my window and recognized who I was and one of our Kings Point motorcycle police- mens catched her 8 quarters of a mile further up the road golng G66. On another occasion I was working about & quarter to 4 in the morning and the milkman come by asleep but his hol;fi was not asleep and pulled the m wagon up to the window and stared in the window and begin making sug- gestive grimaces and the only way I could get him to leave was by going out and waking up the driver with jaspirin and by this time my train of thought was bloote. They was still another occasion when I forget what aid happen, but {all’and all it was impossible to do my ! best work down there and no wonder |t iwith crowds of admires always stand- |ing in the street staring in the win- dow and especially women and they would get mad and quit redding your stuff if you didn’t just quit work en- tirely and give them smile for smile. But when this job is done I will be heard and not seen pray that the depriv: will be escape or a skylight or a bookcase, a intellect if any. % d I hope and | me, fon to the eye | water. a double portion of dry sand more than offset by the added |and a bucket of sour milk.” The good pleasure and benefit acrewing to the fellow MAY 30, 1926—PART 5. On the other hand, my father wants me to join the Army.| Yours truly, | EW ANT. Answer—The only difference 1s, if | you join the Army you'll get paid for | fighting. Dear Mr. Wynn: A crowd of hoys and girls are going on a picnic next | Sunday. We must each bring some- thing to eat. I am supposed to make some “hash.” Can you tell me the best way to make “hash"? Truly yours, IKE ANTCOOK. Answer—My dear boy, “hash” is not made. *“Hash” is an accumula- tion. Dear Mr. Wynn: There is a very rich man in our town who goes horse- back riding every day, but he wears only one spur and wears that always on the boot which is on his right foot. Can you tell me why he wears only | one spur and that one always on the right foot? Yours truly, E. QUINE. Answer—He probably is an effici- ency expert and figures if he can get the right side of the horse to start the left side will start, too. Dear Mr. Wynn: I am a woman 34 “IT CERTAINLY the greatest difficulty in starting it up again. By this time I had come to reallze that my health was seriously impair- ed. In other words, I was in what one might call poor shape. 1f I let things go on as they were I should very soon become an old man. It was time to look for a remedy. “After all,” I sald to myself, “in these days of enlightenment there must be a cure for everything. Let us begin at once.”. I decided first to restore my hair. I was well aware—{rom having read advertisements on the subject—that the loss of my hair was due simply to o scatolosis of the cranium; merely a case of myolosis—just that. This trouble I knew could be re- moved by vigorous rubbing. I set to work. I seated myself with half a brick in each hand and began a vigorous rubbing of my scalp. At the end of 16 minutes I was delighted to observe a thick glossy growth of dm-kh halr had broken out all over " 1 sald, “now for the 1 sup my readers are aware that all rheumatic troubles readily yleld—according to the best literature on the subject—to the ef- fect of gentle exercises such as may be taken on the floor of the bedroom in the morning, and which constitute little more than a genial and pleasant diversion. I went therefore and lay on the floor of my bedroom, walted till it was morning and then, raising my legs in the alr I began waving them -ound and round my head, at the same time singing to myself, ‘Tis-the-last- rosé -of- Summer -left-blooming-alone— The effect was admirable; As the last verse of the song died away f rose to my feet without a trace of rheu- matism. My neck had regained its power of movement. With something like exaltation I turned my neck three round on its base without effort. 'Now,” said I to myself (I thought it wise to keep talking to myself, as ! it is the thing generally done), “let us see what can be done to renew and restore my waning digestion.” I descended to my dining room and rang the bell for my butler. RBHng Perfect Fool Decides Hash Is Not Made’, But Should Be Called an Accumulation “CHANGE HER FOR TWO TWENTIES.” sa vears of age and weigh 196 pounds. I want to reduce, so went to a doctor who told me to take 20 rolls after breakfast. I started in today but after I ate 12 rolls I felt uncomfort- !ahl@. Can you suggest some other recipe? Sincerely, IMA SITE. THE PERFECT FOOL. ’ Answer next week. (Copyright, 1926.) How He Made Himself Young Again at70 Beating the Game Instead of Himself IS THE LIFE!” tizing display appeared upon the tabl I suppose most of my readers kno! of the curative action of warm water taken internaily. Suffice it to say that I had no sooner drunk a couple of gal- lons than I felt what I can best de- scribe as a warm glow all through me. At the end of the fourth galion a superabundant sense of buoyancy replaced my previous depression. ‘With a feeling of exultation and grati- tude which I can hardly describe i now turned to my box of sand and helped myself to tablespoonful after tablespoonful. My indigestion was cured. But one thing more was needed. Sour milk, as no doubt my readers have read, contains in {tself all the elements needed for perpetual youth. It not only rejuvenates the digestive apparatus but it acts also directly upon the duodenum, the mezzonine and the auditorium. A man who keeps himself full of sour milk all the time will have no fear of death. In my own case I found that after drinking two gallons of it I was consclous of a general i ternal tranquillity, a sense of calm- ness and stagnation comparable only to a frog pond at midnight. My cure was now complete. And yet even in the moment of its com- pletion the cup of happine Was dashed from my lips. As I v from the table T was seized with a renewed spasm of rheumatism coupled with a twinge of locomotor ataxia, while at the same time a bunch of hair fell from my head and floated to the floor. I hastily threw myself on the floor and waved my legs in the air. But, alas, the disturbance set up in the sour milk disarranged again the equi- librium of my digestion. In short, I was destined to find that my whole method of cure was a fal- lacy. Any one of my symptoms could be removed, but not all of them. In curing one, I brought back another. persevered as best I could. I spent the larger part of my time lying on_the floor waving my legs like a daffodil, singing, skipping, rubbing my scalp, and pausing only to drink 2 bucketful of four milk. In fact, ] was just on the point of giving up the whole attempt at ban- I said, “10 gallons of warm comp! with my re- quest and ¥n & faw moments the appe- ishing old age when the solution of the problem came upon me quite u expectedly. I had gone out in an in- terval of my efforts on the front porch and sat down there determined neve to roll on the floor and wave my legs any more. 1 was staring aimlessly into the street when along came a baby car- riage with a comfortable-looking pink in it and a blue and ng it along from be- hind. And just in front of my house two ladies who met the baby carriage stopped it on the sidewalk and one 't he just too cute!” and “Look at his dear little vet?” and the nurse answered, “No not yet, he just says goo- goo.” Then both ladies said: “Isn't he too sweet!” and with that they stooped down and kissed the baby three or four times each. Then they went on. Well—that came to me as a ray of light. “That's the life for me,” I said to myself. “What with breath- ing and rolling and skipping I'm not much bigger than that baby is, and not much heavier. Anything that he can do, I can do still. "I'll get'a cos- tume like his and start right in on it.” I did so without delay. I got a dandy little white frock with a knit- ted thing over it with pink insertions; and I got a little pink and white sun- hat and little socks with knitted slip- pers. Then I bought a large go-cart —it didn’t have to be extra big either —and got a trained nurse behind it and the thing was done. And it certainly is the life. That isn't any word for it. Every- thing that told against me before works in my favor now. I don't need any hair. I don’t have to have any memory. I don't have to talk, only Just gurgle. And each day when I g0 out in my cart T am always held up by charming women who stop me and say, “Oh, how sweet! Has he any teeth, nurse?” Yesterday one said, “Doesn't he look old and wise, with his thoughtful eyes? I'm sure he could tell all sorts of things if he could only speak.” She was right. T could tell her a lot. (Copyright. 102 Sheep’s Blood for Men. SHEEP'S blood in a man's body! This statement, which sounds like of witcherast, an accomplish- Young? the old incantations may soon represent ment in the fleld of medicine. Prof. Yourevitch and Mlie. Teleguina of Prague, Czechoslovakia, have finished experiments that seem to show that when a human being loses a large amount of blood, so that transfusion is necessary, blood can be taken from animals and injected into the man's body to replenish the supply. . This has always been thought Im- possible. Indeed, transfusion hereto: fore has been possible only between certain human beings who happened to be in the same “blood group.” The injection of animal blood into the human body has been considered im- possible without death resuiting. But the Czechoslovakian scientists have succeeded in ‘‘washing” the red con puscles of the blood to be injected. and In this way they saved a rabbit’s life by injecting sheep’s blood. They suggest that the sheep’s blood could also save human lives, and further- more, that the blood could be bottied up and stored for an emergency fora long time. uge Aerial Masts. 0 huge are the masts suppor the aerials of the new superpower radio siation at Rugby, Eugland, that there is an electrical elevator, having a capacity of three persons, in each mast. The masts are §20 feet high, which is half again as high as the Washington Monument. There are 12 of 1t!'1e«e masts carrying 3 miles of aeria .