Evening Star Newspaper, January 16, 1924, Page 17

- PRINCELY SALARIE LURE U. 5. EXPERTS Government Departments Constantly Denuded of Trained Employes. DOZENS MORE WILL GO Department of Agriculture Scien- tists Are Notoriously Un- nerpaid. BY FREDERIC WILLIAM WILE. President Coolidge and the cabinet ®re glving serfous attention to the systematlc separation from govern- ment service of men who can earn bigger salarles in private life. A recent cablnet meeting was devoted almost entirely tc discussing the ex- isting sityation. Heads of depart- ments declare that federal eficiency 18 faced by a real menace. Hundreds ©of expert, experienced officials in re- cent times have resigned from under- vaid positions to accept business.em- ployment at much larger pay. There s hardly an executive department that has not suffered., The diplomatic and consular service has been par- ticularly hard hit. Unless the Rogers bill, providing for somewhat better financial treatment, is passed by Con- sress, the foreign service Is bound to lose dozens more of its best men. Not only are low federal Incomes @esponsible for this state of affalrs, but the mania for “Investigations” is notoriously depopularizing govern- ment service. Good men, observing the passion of Congress for putting officials on the rack, have little desire t0 serve their country at the ever- present risk of having reputations blasted to gratify some one’s political purposes Standards Post Refused. Secretary of director of the bureau of whose salary Is $6.00 ven men, who_refused it. It was vacated by Dr. §. W. Stratton, who became presi- dent of Massach Institute of ‘Technology at §1 . plus a house, an sutomobile and other perquisites, ndards, hief of the coal division of Hoover's department at 36,000 a year. is now president of a coal company at $24,000 of Hoover's commer- clal attaches In South America, who recelved 37.000 has been captured by an international construction corpo- ratlon at $22,0060. Julius G. Lay rears a “star” American consular officer abroad, re- signed the § 0 foreign trade ad- visership at the State Department I[: 1920 to Join Spever & Co., New York bankers, at $40,000. An- other consul general recently quit an $8,000 post for a five-year private contract at $25,000 a year. Hardly a day passes that some trained officer of our foreign service Is not offered considerably more remunerative em- ployment In commerce or finance. Business on Lookout. Foreign governments, as well as American business corporations. are constantly on the lookout for them. A. C. Milispaugh, who was petroleum speciallst at the State Department, has_become financial administrator of Persta. W. W. Cumberland, re- cently forelgn trade adviser at the State Department, is now administra- tor of eruvian customs at Lima. These men recefve salaries that make their American government pay beg- garly by comparison. The Treasury Department incessantly by big busines: Crissinger of the Federal Reserve Board found it almost Impossible while controller of the currency to Lold expert national bank examiners Chiet Examiner D. C. Borden, draw. ing $16,500 in government salary, was crafted the other day by the National City Bank, New York, at an emolu- ment eral times that amount. Sherrill Smith, another chief bank examiner. was commandeercd by the Chase National Bank under similar circumstances. Danicl C. Muiloney and Herbert Scott, i known bank _examiners, accepted Boston banking positions at salaries far excess of federal pay. A Detrolt bank tempted Frederick Brown, another prominent examiner, into its service. W. P. G. Harding, 'former governor of the Federal Reserve Board, was ed at $25,000 a year to be president of the First National Bank of Boston, | more than twice his government sal ary. The Income-tax division of the internal revenue bureau is being sapped of good men all the time. Metropolitan law firms and corpora- tions covet the services of men who Jknow federal tax practices from the | inside. Government pay cannot hold them. Sclentists Are Underpaid. The Department of Agriculture of- fers one of the most typical cases of underpaid government employes who continue to serve their country out| Everfresh, especially. Belentifio ' standards of manufacture insure its uniformity — makes it tasts the same always. For the Official U.8.P. it o g I evVERFRES ) i MAGNE Sia " Hoover offered the post} H THE END OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP. HOW Oy, MR.BUCHAMNAN ! 1} AwFULLY GLAD To Know You . TOE MUSH ASKED Mg To Look You UP. HE SA1D You WERE A FRAT BROTHER OF OURS, My NAME'S M eeglnus 15 EREAT M ELAD To Keow You! Taxe OFF Your COAT AND oLp “THE LAST THING o€ SA10 To ME WAS - BE SURE To Look uP CK.THE FIRST CHANCE You GET So€ 15 A FiNE OLD ScouT, How's HE GETTING NEAH . JOE 1S ONE OF C00'S NOBLEMEN- A REG LAR HE 6uY,We's 1ETAPIE FRAT Yoo . BY THe WAY, BUK~ L | Soop8YE, BuUcK Vou CAN'T BUY A LITTLE PotiCy To DAY. I'LL Come AND SEE YOU AGOLT IT SOME OTHER TmE COTR 1N (X T WoRID] FRREPOR 05 of sheer patriotism. Thousands brilliant scientists literally slave ltheir lives away in the subdivisions of the Agricultural Department. Few |receive as much as $5.000 a year— hundreds only $3,500 or $4,000. When Edwin T. Meredith was Secretary of Agriculture he crusaded continually on behalf of these unhernlded heroes of peace. Meredith specified as a classic instance Dr. Marion Dorset, chemist at the Department of Agri- culture, who discovered the anti-hog {cholera’ serum. He has been in the department since 1894. His salary is $4.500. His researches in bacteriol- ogy and animal pathology have cre- ated industries out of which millions have been made. The Department of Justice is packed with underpald lawyers—men on salaries of $4,500, who prepare cases for the government against lawyers retained by private litigants at $30,000 to $100,000. Cheexe-Paring Upheld. Just what remedy there is for this state of affairs no one is prepared to say. Representative Madden, chair- man of the appropriations committee of the House, has just sustained the federal classification board in its cheese-paring policy, on_grounds of rigld economy. Some departmental executives say the board ought at least to grant the maximum author- ized $7,500 salaries to men now kept at $6,000. In one important depart- ment, regularly denuded of good men by private business, an additional $100,000 @ year would put all of its divisional chiets on the $7,500 basis and probably retain their services. 1"1f the nation's business isn’t con- ducted on a “100 per cent efficient” basis, Congress and the country some day may wake up to the reason why. (Copyright, 1924.) e FINN PACT TO SENATE. Agreement Provides for Funding $9,000,000 Debt to United States. The agreement for funding Fin- land’s $9.000.000 war debt to the United States, negotiated last May, was sent to Congress today by Presi- dent Coolldge. Payments aiready have been made under the agreement, but congres- slonal approval Is required before it Is formally effectiv ST DML ART, Torida Grapefiuit P 7 The inner meat of Seald- sweet grapefruit, separated from the outer membranes and rind before canning. Ready to serve—chill before using. Eat asiyou would fresh grapefruit. Add a bit of sugar of salt if you like. Ask your grocer for .Sealdheart when: ‘ever you are unable to secure fresh Sealdsweet grapefruit or prefer the goods in cans. FuORIA TELL You ABOUT — SKERS NE A LOT For Tre cLp || PAINTED WHI DONE A LOT For THE Hae kit PoRTRAIT IN THE You Wor'Y (F ~DID T EVER OCCUR To YOU THAT You IMe We Brary ? \ See You FiesT! MIGHT BE Run OVER AND KILLED - FERHAPS To OAY WHEN You GO To LUNCH ? ARE YouR. wiFe AMD KIPDIES PROVIDED FoR 7 NOW WE HAVE A PoLICY THAT MATURE S IN TWENTY YEAR S AMD THERE 15 A CLAUSE 1™ 1T WHICH PROVI OES THAT (N CASE OF — MR.J0E MusSH DEAR SIR:- WHEN | KNew You AT COLLEGE 1 THOUGHT You WERE A BIG FATHEA D AMD IT MAY INTEREST You To KNMOW THAT ) STiLL CONSI0ER You ONE, THE MEXT Tinie Yeu SEMD AN 1N SURANCE AGENT OUER Tp SEE ME I'M GOING TO Kook Your BLOUC OFF. COROIALLY YoURS, 4Tt Ll FAMOUS ARCHITECT WILL LECTURE HERE Albert Kelsey to Relate Anecdotes on Structure of Pan-Ameri- can Building. € iqgy N Albert Kelsey of Philadelphia will deliver a lecture under the auspices of George Washington University at th ‘nb Friday evening, en- titled “Adven- tures in Architec- ture.'" Mr. Kelsey was the fourth holder of the traveling scholarship in ar- chitecture of the University of Pennsylvania, 1897. He was ar- chitect of the “model city” and director of the first city planning exhibition _ ever MR. KELSEY. held in the United States, at the St. Louis world fair. He was chairman of the committee of expePts for the design for the Philadelphia parkway. He was architect for Carson College, near Philadelphia, etc, and _ar- chitect, in association with Prof. Paul P. Cret, of the Pan-American bullding in the National Capital. Zle has lectured in many universi- tles and in more than 180 cities and towns, on modern city-making, archi- tecture and art. His lantern slides are unfque. His “adventures” will include some anecdotes and gossip relating to those who had a part in the development of the Pan-American Union. e T When success goes to a man’s head he loses his standing among his friends. i “Arxag, Hillise: BucHAr MAM I ‘m%w}’w RAPS “PREFERRED” CLASS | PLAN IN CIVIL SERVICE| House Committee Opposes ‘“Un- limited” Privilege of Appoint- ments Proposed for War Vets. Creation of a “preferred class in il service is repugnant to and in direct violation of the very fund mentals of democratic institutions,” the House committee on reform in the civil service sald in a letter to H. W, Zarsh, secretary of the Na- tional Civil Service Reform League. Thus the House committee goes on record as opposed to giving unlimited preference to war veterans in making appointments to government posi- tions, although, the letter states, a reasonable preference already = is given to the war veterans. Under the bill of Representative Thompson, republican, Ohio, which favors the appointment of an honor- ably discharged veteran without ex- amination. provided an appointing officer finds him qualified, the letter stated, “appointments would be made on the basis of personal and political influence.’ WEEKS FETES FILIPINOS. Members of the Philippine inde- pendence delegation were received today by Secretary Weeks, who later gave a luncheon in their honor, at- tended by ranking members of the Senate and House insular committees. Spokesmen for the delegation told Mr. Weeks thelr chief purpose in re- cently presenting a memorial to Congress, had been to argue the ques- tion of independence, without resort- ing to personalities. ‘WILL ADDRESS DOCTORS. Benedict M. Holden, foreman of the special grand jury in New Haven, Conn., investigating the “doctors’ diploma mills” scandal. and Harry T. Brundige, St. Louls newspaper man, will speak on the dipioma investiga- tion at a meeting tonight at § o'clock of the District of Columbia Medical 1718 M street northwest. GANS AGAIN IS CHOSEN TO HEAD LOCAL CHAMBER OF COMMERCE Details of Full Year Are Outlined in Annual Report to Members—Lloyd and Leese Also Are Re-elected Vice Presidents. Details of a year full of progres- sive accomplishments were outlined to the Washington Chamber of Com- merce at its annual meeting last night at the New Willard Hotel Prosident Isaac Gans gave & pro- gressive resume of the work during the year, giving to the board of direc- tors, the committees and the mem- bership the credit for the results and spoke most highly of the spirit of co-operation prevalling at all times ‘which resulted in bringing about better conditions. In recognition of his work In carrying the chamber through one of its most successful yoars, Presi dent Gans was re-elected unanimous. ly for another term, and with him Wero re-elected James T. Lloyd. first vice president, and Martin A. Leese, second vice president” ‘Th followingl were elected to the board of di- rectors: . P. Andrews, Dr. Lewis J. Eattle, Charles W. Clagett, Willlam. M. Dove, G. Manson Foote, Frank 8. Hlfis"}‘\‘l. “Ruldolp‘);-s.'olg, Arthur D. s. Walter V. Shipley and George M. Whitwell. i & Fire and Police Ald. Successful efforts to improve the working conditions of the police and fire departments were. detailed by Charles W. Darr in presenting a re- fire protection. He informed the chamber that ag a result of the con- stant efforts that beginning about February 1 policemen will be allowed one day off in each two weeks, and that {f Congress approves measures now before it the police will be given one day off in seven. The committee and the chamber have recommended a central police and fire headquarters to be erected 50uth of the District building and the closing of D street at that point. They recommended the erection of a modern building to house these two services with modern equipment, in- cluding a gymnasium, swimming pool and other recreation features. Also the committee recommended that uniforms be furnished at government expense, and that all police and fire stations be placed in first-class con- dition. Some of them, he said, are in urgent need of repair, and the con- ditions prevailing are not the fault of the commisaioners, but are due en- tirely to the fact that there is no money " available. It was recom- mended that all new fire and police stations shouid be equipped ~with gymnasiums, swimming pools and Gther recreational features. Gns Masks Supplied. Through the constant efforts of the chamber, he ‘continued, additional gas | masks had been supplied the fire de- |partment to protect the firefighters while fighting flames in the midst of smoke and gases. The committee more than once has called attention to the lack of suffi- clent equipment for the fire department, he said. In the Fire Prevention week parade last year, he said, it was neces- |sary to use horse-drawn vehicles be- cause that was the only surplus ma- terial available. He eald that there |would be many peome surprised to know that the outlying districts still have only horse-drawn equipment. When a plece of motor-driven apparatus goes out of commission now, he asserted, it is necessary to replace it with horse- drawn equipment of antiquidated de- sign and of doubtful capacity. He detalled the work of the com- mittee during Shrine week, pointing out the great help that the members were to the police, adding that many of them performed actual police duty. The committee recommended the in- crease for the police carried in the pending bill, as well as free uniforms for the men, and urged that coples of the recommendations be sent to the subcommittee in charge of the bill. Push High Pressure. The committee renewed its recom- mendation for appropriation for the installation of a high-water-pressure system for fire fighting in the down- {town section as a means of averting a great calamity, such as the Baltl- more fire. Such an installation, he said, 1s more necessary now than ever before, in view of the fact that the government still {s using tempo- rary bulldings which house papers and documents that once destroyed can never be replaced or compensated for in any way. This danger, he pointed out, can be reduced to a minimum by the installation of a high-pressure system. The report was adopted by the chamber. Dr. Lewis J. Battle, chairman of the committee on public health, present- ed a report recommending that per- sons able to pay be admitted to the Tuberculosis Hospital and the psycho- pathic ward of Gallinger Hospital for treatment, and that all moneys col- lected In this way be credited to the jcurrent appropriations. The report was adopted. I C. Weld, chairman of the mem- bership committee, reported that 174 had been elected to membership dur- ing the year. Charles W. Darr, treasurer, said re- " True“Pep’ Food-Fruits for Red-Blooded Folks Pleasure that reflects itself in the cheerful coun- tenances, the sunny. dispositions and the energetic actions which make life better worth the living is afforded you by Ask your fruit dealer for ‘Sealdsweet oranges and grapefruit, and insist oo shipped. Baving them in the sanitary tiseus- peper wrappers ‘in which they are L] Sealdsweet ‘Jlorida Grapefruit ‘They are’ hulth-pvmc and health preserving, containing two kinds' of vitamines—which tone the system and aid digestion—plenty of natural fruit sugar and an abundance port for the committee on police and | celpts were $25.471.08, and the total assets were $9,665.23. Giving detaiis of the work of the chamber and its committees, Isaac Gans, in his annual report, sald that the chamber was both a chamber of opportunity and a chamber of service, and should be an active branch of the municipal government, the right hand of the city administration, an in- valuable aid in upbuilding of the city. 'As I briefly recount the more im portant achievements,” he sald, "I wish I might have before me those members of the chamber who. while they are members and pay their dues, never have been properly sojd on this organization—those who write their chocks for dues and consider they have made a donation or are doing & charitable act. To this class I would say that a careful investigation of a live Chamber of Commerce will show a balance gheet which would be ac- ceptable to any auditor in the city, which will prove beyond a doubt that for every dollar invested in dues ten dollars in absolute benefit is returned to, the community. “In_this brief recapitulation I de- sire, first of all, to congratulate the members upon the splendid spirit of harmony and co-operation. ‘One for all and all for one’ has been the watchword. ~ And In_whatever mat- ters the chamber has undertaken there has been united, sincere and loyal effort on the part of all con- lcerned. During 1923, several un- dertakings have stood out with great pre-eminence. Sketches Work of Year. He then took up the work of the committees and briefly sketched their accomplishments, which he sald: “I should be greatly remiss in my duty if I falled at this tme to ispeak of the wonderful co-operation shown by the several newspapers of the city. They have been very gen- |erous with thélr space, and their !to record the doings of the chamber. They merit and should receive spe- clal thanks for the many courtesies extended. - “Finally,” he continued, “may I urge you to renewed and greater ef- lfort for the growth and betterment of our Chamber of Commerce. We are not satisfied with the results achleved. As individuals the excuse for your presence in the community is that you co-operate with your fel- low citizens. The prosperity of the city depends to a larger extent than |you realize upon the prosperity of its chamber of commerce. Enjoyed Heading Chamber. “And now may I tell you how deep- 1y I appreciate the honor I have en- joyed as your president during the past_ycar. I have thoroughly en- joyed the year's experiences. I en- joy such meetings as this. My serv- ice as your executive has given me a much broader outlook upon life and a keener appreciation of my duties to_my city and my fellow men. “In the following and concluding words I can best express my feelings at this time. : “The desire to accumulate this world’s goods s inherent {n man. Usually this_accumulation takes the form of stooks, bonds, gold or titles. The safeguarding of these collaterals some financial institution, guarded by great locks and two keys” Box of Memories. “Personally, I may have little use for one of these boxes: but I have a box in which I keep the collaterals I have accumulated in my journey through life—the collaterals T value most. My box Is not made of metal. nor does it repose in any vault. My box is made of experience, bound by the ties of friendship, locked by the bars of time, and its only key is the golden key of memory. I keep in this box only the pleasant things that have happened to me in my life— who are worth while—the kindnesses 1 have recetved from them. And in my hours of stress, be they mental or physical, I like to unlock this box and go over the evidences of wealth I find therein. At some future day, when I again take the golden key of memory and open this box I will find an added and greatly cherished treasure there—t'will be the memory of this hour and the past year of service with you." The report the colors, the fabrics. following | columns at all times have been open | requires a metal box in the vault of my assoclation with men and women ! ment Soclety proposing to the cham- | ! | i MGR. C. F. THOMAS MAKES | CANONICAL VISITATION Deputized by Archbishop Curley for Special Duty at Holy Trinity Church. Deputized by Archbishop Curley, Mgr. C. F. Thomas, pastor of St. Patrick’'s Church, made the canonical visitation to the Holy Trinity Church, Georgetown, last night. This is one of the first canonical visitations in several years. The Holy Name Soclety acted as a bodyguard and Mgr. Thomas Wwas met at the door by the pastor of the church, Rev. Benedict J. Smith,S.J.., accompanied by the assistants and acolytes. Mgr. Thomas after the visitation praised the accomplishments of the parish. Benediction followed. A class of 307 children will receive the sacrament of confirmation next Sunday, which is to be_administered by Archbishop Curley. The ceremony will begin at 3 o'clock. e A. MacALLISTER DEAD. Funeral Services Will Be Con- ducted Tomorrow Afternoon. Alexander MacAllister, eighty-four, a well known resident of Washingto, died at his home, 748 Park road, Monday. The local Bookbinders' Union, No. 4, of which he was a member, W hold a service at the residence to- night at 8 o'clock. Funeral services also will be conducted by the Rev. James Shera Montgomery at the resi- dence tomorrow _afternoon at 2 o'clock. Burial will take place in the Rock Creek cemetery. Mr. MacAllister was retired from the government printing office three years ago, where he had worked sev- eral years. He was a resident of Takoma Park for twenty years. He is survived by three daughters, Mrs. Annle Hildebrand, Mrs. Mary Adey of Brooklyn and Mrs. Janet Langille of Chicago, and three son: Archibald MacAllister, James O. Ma Allister and Alexander MacAllister, jr. e “One half the world doesn't know how the other half lives,” sighed the philosopher. “Nor even why,” sneered the cynic. motion of M. A. Leese, will be printed in greater Washington. The secrotary's office is more and more becoming a bureau of infor- mation for the city, Secretary A. E. Seymour sald. During the year 50,000 pleces of mail were sent out and 24,000 pleces received. The chamber held its own in member- ship, saying that 173 new members were taken in and 154 lost. His of- fice, he sald, was deeply indebted to the members for many favors ren- dered. Henry Lansburgh tendered a hand- some United States flag, which was accepted on behalf of the chamber by President Gans. Gans Unanimously Re-Elected. P. J. Haltigan placed Mr. Gans in nomination for president, lauding him in the highest terms. The senti- ments expressed by Mr. Gans in his annual address, he sald, had been ad- mirably carried_out during his ad- ministration. He sald that he doubted very much {f the chamber ever had a year 80 full of interest to the organization as the one just clos- ing—a year full of splendid activity in the intcrest of the people of the city. The nomination was seconded by H. H. Glassie, and, with James T. Liloyd in the chair, the secretary cast the unanimous ballot for Mr. Gans for president for the ensuing year. James T. Lloyd, first vice president, was nominated for another term by Miss Bessie Brueggeman and sec- onded by M. A. Leese. He was elected unanimously. M. A. Leese was nominated for re- election as second vice president by Robert N. Harper and was elected unanimousl. The chamber, on motion of Guy Withers, appropriated $50 toward the expenses of Thrift week, following an address by Mr. Withers, A letter from the American Govern- ber that it broadcast by radio each night a resume of the proceedings of Congress was read and referred to the board of directors, as also was a letter from J. P. Cullen protesting against the printing of stories reflecting on the people of the city, and asking the chamber to take steps to stop them. Balloting followed the business meeting and during the buffet supper the names of the successful candi- dates for directors were arnounce DEPRECIATION RULE HEARING DEFERRED Railway Companies Ask Ex- tension of Time to Pre- pare Case. BELL GRANTS REQUEST Ham Suggests Doubt Still Exists as to Jurisdiction of IC.C. The task of fixing depreciation rules for the public service corpora- tions of the city, which has been on a sidetrack for the past two years, again was postponed at a public hearing before the Utllities Commi sion at the District building toda: The commission began the job 1921, but an obstacle was encounte! ed when the Washington Rafl and Electric Company raised ti point that the Interstate Commerce Commission had jurisdiction over its depreclation account. That commission se ago announced that it would not as- sume jurisdiction over deprecia for the local rallways and the com- missioners called todav's meeting to resume the work where it was left oft in 1921. Ask for More Time. When the meeting open morning the Washington Rallway and Electric Co; the _Capital Traction Compan; the Washing- ton and Georgetown Gas Light com- panies asked for a further extension of time. contending they were busy with other matters at this time Commiesioner Bell finally agreed to {defer the proceedings, but told the companies he was anxlous to settle the depreciation question at the earl est possible date. He sald anoth. hearing would be held as soon as the companies could prepare to present their arguments. William F. Ham, president of t Washington Railway and Electr Company, indicated at today's mee ing that the question of whether the Interstate Commerce Commission Jurisdiction has not been settled finally. Another Question Raised. He testified that following the re- cent decislon of the Interstate Com- merce Commission, he wrote to that 1body. asking if the decision removed the Washington Railway and Electric Company from all jurisdiction by the Interstate Commerce Commission. Mr. Ham then put into the record the r ply to his letter in which the Inter state Commerce Commission pointed out that there are two cases now pend- ing in the United tes Suprems Court that might have an effect on {the question of Jocal jurisdiction. Mr. Ham suggested this correspond- ence indicated there is still some {doubt as to which commission has control of the depreclation question Walter C. Allen, secretary of the | commission, proposed that before an- other hearing is called that officials of the companies hold conferences with the commission to work out as many of the details as possible. 19 CLAIMS. HONORED. Commission Disallows Eight Other Charges Against Germany. Nineteen awards, aggregating §540,237, with interest on each at 5 per cent to the date of payment, were announced today by the mixed claims commi sion in favor of American firms and fndividuals with clatms against Ger- many for losses incurred during the war. The largest awards were $393,808 Max Selliger and $58,971 to the Ker tucky Distilleries and Warehou Company. Eight claims were di missed on the ground that they co ered losses Germany is not financially obligated to meet under the treaty of Berlin. ed this COME A-RUNNING MEN, If You Want to Share In on These SENSATIONAL SHIRT REDUCTIONS Fine thing about this sale is that there is nothing “saley” about the shirts—the most particular man will be pleased with the patterns, That's why so many men *‘stock up” for all spring and summer during this Jan- uary event. 910 7th St. The savings are worth while: Buys Any Shirt in the Lot Fiber Silk Striped Madras, Woven and Printed Madras, Reps, in fast colers; ‘White Oxfords with button-down collars and others. * Sizes 14 to 17. .Regular $2.00, $2.50 and $3.00 Shirts George’s Guarantee! Means you must be satisfied or A NEW SHIRT, IF YOU SAY SO 910 7th St. “We Request the Return of Anything That Can Be Bought for Less Elsewhere”