Evening Star Newspaper, December 25, 1897, Page 14

THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 25, 1897-24 PAGES. Written for The Evenin; re “Of the fortune tellers, witches and other seers into future,” remarked an army of- ficer to a Star reporter, “the cleverest by far are the Indian fortune tellers. I have spent many years among the Indians it the far wes i have had many expe- riences with them. Among the women, for- tune t-liers are very rare, there not being many of them, but when they are met with they giv to those whe consult them than the gypsies. More as @ lark than anything I have consultec a number of them, as has also my wife. The Indian teller is generally re- garded as a kind of a witch more than any- thing eise that J can compare her to, anu admit that some of their witchcraft is too tune Ceep for me. Some years ago, I was sta- tlened at ort Dun in Texas, and among the sional visit ors the post an old Indian woman. Her In- tf Tia ¢ a she lived in an Indian villag ar Eagle Pass, Texas. She sought several of the officers’ s and for a es. 1 was unfok aid parti told them their ned into the room as she hg the future to my wife, and jar attention to what she said Ire rt of the that nearly everything she said pired. The oid woman told would appear in the garrison tr Jay in the morning and in the form a jack rabbit. We had a good laugh over it. for we were pretty certain that taere was not much likelihood of a putting in an appearan: bout because a Jack rabbit had th about years, and “n ordinary nould he even desire to visit 2 the morning same we had the prediction, but just a3 ten, the hour designated the po forgotten the clock any one isles my and ft had been told to look out for it, but the jack rabbit was the! tain as that we were there.” “There are but few who admire the col- lection of beautiful sulphur crystals in the National Museum,” remarked the gentle- man who collected them from the famed sulphur mines in Sicily, to a Star reporter, “who have any idea in relation to the same except their beauty. I don't think,” he Said, “there ir another spot on earth where h abominable treatment, such fiendish cruelty, is inflicted on the laborer, as in the suiphur m: of Sicily. They are paid barely enough to provide themselves with a Scant supply of the coarsest, cheapest food, ana 4 gvod portion of the time they are in f chronic starvation. When 1 was Te, many of the mines were ciosed lian paper stated 009 peo- nat 3 arving at the mines. 2 work hardest and most exhausiing Very few of the mines nave and the sulphur ore St combined) 13 © depths beiow on the men aud Long, sloping, nels dead to the s below yecially the boys, cks they wear a iS of the sort kK. This is torn from of the imagine a than to see the toiling up the long, ¢, with their take wri Most poor, ; Mere h from being they = under loads nels to th ed up in rec awful severity of the very la per- adiy crippled for military © forced re you that the t over-critical jon of the men she wah to b When t inferno un- urface they 1 with sul- as to almost sv hing in all v upon with gre@t fu hot ro. and t 1 only be fernal region ned from the exp * said one of the Navy t watchmen to a Star reporter, n on exhibition, and the well as others, can en- ristmas holidays. + Wilmington, Helena, el, a Bennington, ncroft, Yorktown, Cearsarge K models w y were express purpose of eR draw moi artment every It is more th nt over to th on n likely the: oming Paris expo- ~_ et ee “In the deys when the present Lafayette known as and was Davy Burns’ said one of the park gardeners nds Gen. of cherry isiory that hi about them, they were uped trees, but they Ace 2 handed and many w ned that Pr nted that th s Jefferson had Fould be ent down. It transpired after- Wards that John Gardner.who kept a school of blocks north of the orchard, d to the President to have the wn, the reason that he chool boys from climb- ing into them in the spring and devouring the cherries in svch quantities that the whole school suffered from cramp colic. Though Jefferson ecnsented to the cutting own of the trees, he would not allow the ‘work to be done at the expense of the gov- ernment, and John Gardner had to pay the Utah. Our shelter was an ot two rooms. One of these for a kitchen and the other as a wm and sleeping apartment. Long the ends fastened to carpenters’ furnished the springs upon which mattresses were. laid.. A mammoth . capable of consuming a quarter of a cord of logs at one time, kept mperature fifty degrees higher with- 2 that it was without. From the single window the snow-clad mountains of the 5 ntal divide furnished a monotonous tne in the di the valley in which re were located wearing an equal same- broken only patches of grease- Our party consisted planks hors: ar by age brush. of five persons and a Chinese cook, Andy Ga sa by name. Our only visitors were the ze Utes and an occasional Mormon ccwboy, who herded beef for the Indians. It was Christmas. as shown by our calen- dar, and while no stockings d been filled the nirht previous, preparations were made to fill our stomachs at the usual dinner hcur. Hot biscuits, baked in a Dutch oven, cevered with coals, broiled venison, canned vegetables, including beans, mince pie and ccffee, made from alkali water, were sat down to, and the blessings of the Giver of all good things invoked by the Christian gentleman who headed our commission. We were treating with the Indians. The absent ones whom we had been thousands of miles away from for a period of six months were given thought. Experiences were told and retold, and while yet review- ing the pest, a tall, muscular Indian, with blanket closely wrapped about him,’ with- ut previous notice, walked in upon us. is was Persune, who figured in the eKer massacre, but who now talked me English and professed to be a good Indian. Col. George W. Mannapenny of Ohio, who was chairman of our commis- sion, was a very devout, God-fearing man, and he deemed the time cpportune to reach a little sermon to us all, but he es- pecially directed his words of wisdom to the Indian Persune. The coloncl told the story of Jesus, His birth, career as a youth and death on the cross! Persune listened tentively to the words of the good old eclonel, and as he would proceed would now and then utter his appreval and sat- isfaction by expressing himself, ‘Me quien sate’—that is, ‘Me understand.’ ‘Now, Per- sune,’ said the colonel, after talking nearly an hour, ‘I hope you will continue to be a gcod man; that you understand what IT have told you; tha: you will repent of your ast misdeeds, and that you know who Jesus was.’ The Indian stretched his broad orms as he arose to go, turned to walk away, and said: ‘Yes, colonel, me know Jesus; me heap see Him up in Denver last month.” Jesus being a common surname among the Mexicans of that locality, after this sermon, the Indian had gathered the idea that the colonel, in his long biblical ory. referred to one of these Mexican brethren.” ae ee DOOLEY ON CHRISTMAS GIFTS. He Never in His Life Wanted. From the Chicago Post. The approach of Christmas is heralded in Archey road by many of the signs that are known to the less civilized and more prosperous parts of the city. The people look poorer, colder and more hopeful than at other times. The bake shops assume an old country appearance of gayety. The loons are well attended. Also if you have your eyes about you you may catch Got What He a glimpse, now and then, through a frost- ed window of a stunted Christmas tree laden slenderly with glass balls and ropes of red popcorn, the work of painfui hands after the children are abed. Mr. Dooley knew Christmas was coming by th d the expiration of his qu te and Mr. Hennessy coming in with a doll in his pocket and a rocking chair under his arm. “Prisints?” said the philosopher. aid Mr. Hennessy. “I had to do I made up me mind this year that 1 it wudden't buy anny Chris’mas prisints or take anny. I can’t afford it. Times has been fearful ha-ard, an’ a look iv pain comes over th’ hold out 50 cints ol woman's face whin 1 fr'm me salary on Satur- dah night. ive it out that I didn’t want annything, 0 much scurryin’ ar-round an’ hidin’ things whin I go in that I know thy’ve got s thing f'r me. 14 cudden’t nd it no longer, so I wint down an’ bought th This e doll f'r th’ mo: said Mr. Dool and examining it wii things. taking the ef- h the of an critic. “it its ey an it cries e@ punch it. ‘They're ’ these things more like human bein's var. An’ does it say pap-pah an’ ah, T dinnaw said Mr. F “th? pap-pah mah dolls costs too mu continued Mr. Dooley, ‘we can't ‘thing we want in this furruld. If » way I'd buy goold watches an’ fr ivrybody inn th’ r-road few zood Germans. I t sinrous. But ‘tis no use. Ye what ye v little boy at littl n’ sure goin’ ed cane he’s longed f'r t they all fin'lly " dolls and sus- that r-run pink flowers into their y’ tattoo thim in summer. An’ they aceal their grief Chris’mas mornin’ an’ ¥ to look pleasant with murdher in their rts. me wan always has give me a Chris’- anny mas prisint, though no w: r-right to. But no wan iver thing I cud wear or curl me hair with. I've i whisky give me—me that have lashins iv whisky at me elbow day an’ night—an’ s | whin I opined thim hlue an’ yellow flames come out an’ some iv th’ stuff r-run over on th’ flure an’ set fire to th’ buildin’. I smoke th’ best 5-cint see-gar that money can buy, yet whin a good friend iv mine wants to make me a prisint fr Chris'mas goes to a harness shop an’ buys a box iv sSee-gars with exceisior fillin's an’ burlap wrappers, an’ if | smoked wan an’ lived I'd be arristed f'r arson. I got a pair iv sus- pinders wanst frm a lady—niver mind her name—an’ I wurruked hard that day an’ the decorations moved back into me an’ I had to take thim out with pumice stone. didn’t lose th’ taste iv the’ paint f'r weeks an’ weeks. “Wan year I wanted a watch more thin annything in th’ wurruld. I talked watches to ivry wan that I thought had da on me. I made it a pint to ask me what time iv night It was an’ thin say, “Dear me, I ought to get a watch if I cud affoord it.’ I used to tout people down to th’ jooler’s shop an’ stand be th’ window with a hungry look in th’ eyes iv me, as much as to say, ‘If I don’t get a watch Wil perish.’ I talked watches and thought ches an’ dhreamed watches. Father elly raybuked me f'r bein’ late f'r mass. “How ean I get there befure th’ gospil whin I don't know what time it ‘Why don’t ye luk at says. ‘I haven't none,’ says I. me a watch? Faith, he did not me a box iv soap that made me a coon goin’ to a ball in a State shtreet ar. I got a necktie frm wan man, an’ if i'd wore it to a meetin’ iv th’ Young He- brews’ Char'table Society they’d’ve thrun me out. That man wanted me to be kilt. Another la-ad sint me a silk handkerchief that broke on me poor nose. Th’ nearest I ot to a watch was a hair chain that un- veled an’ made me iook as it I'd been curryin’ a Shetland pony.* I niver got what I wanted, an’ I niver expect to. No wan Did he give He sint smell like vhat ye want,” said Mr. Hen- Ml tell me what it is an’ it ost too much. 1 ye?" said Mr. Dooley, eagerly. “I will,” said Mr. Hennessy “if ’tis with- in me mean: “Ye'er jokin’, I'm not. said Mr. Dooley. I mane it.” “Thin,” said Mr. Dooley, “get me th’ ee eR KK “While far-away missionaries are en- @eavoring to Christianize the heathen, it ™izht not be inopportune at this time to relate a Christmas experience among our Own savages, which, in a measure, illus- trates some of the difficulties attending the @ducation of the native American,” re- marks. Mr. Richard Sylvester, chief clerk ©f the police department. “Our camp was on the Green river in audjiotoroom. I've wanted that to play with f'r manny years.” And Mr. Hennessy went away with the rocking chair under his arm, the doll in his pocket and dumb anger in his heart. ——__-+ e+ ____ Economical. From Tit-Bits. Father—“Is he a saving young man?” Daughter—“Very. Why, last night he turned down the gas, and when I asked him why he did it, he said he didn’t want to rob you.” WHAT HE WAS LOOKING FOR He was a stranger in Washington, and the hayseed sparkled in his whiskers as he shuffied along Pennsylvania avenue one day last week, headed eastward. In the neigh- borhood of 9th street he met a policeman, and with the eager air of one who had dis- covered what he had long been secking, the stranger approached the blue-appareled minion of the law. “Excuse me, mister,” he said, a shade of neryousness showing in his manner, “but do you live around here? “Some,” responded the policeman, cau- tiously. “Can you tell me where the state house is?” “You mean the Capitol, don’t you?” “I guess it's ‘purty much the same thing, ain't it?” “Well, yes; they’re on the same lay; oniy this is the hole country’s law-making headquarters. “It's where the United States Senate meets, ain't it?” Yes.” eatest deliberative body on eartn, “That's what they say.” “And Congress, too?” “Yes.” Which ain’t so deliberative?” “I have understood not,” replied the po- liceman, with care, for policemen cannot monkey with the prerogatives of congress- n with impunity, “Same kind of a Congress and Senate that’s been law-makin’ there fer some time back, ain't it?’ ‘Only the usual changes.” in the same building, ain't they?” “The same.” “Where did you say it was?” inquired the visitor, getting back to the point of be- ginning. “Right down this street about ten blocks. You can’t miss it. Come over here and I'll show it to you,” and the policeman stepped out to the curb, but much to his surprise he was not followed by the anxious in- quirer. On the contrary, that worthy was ng a good start the other way. Here,” called the policeman; “here, what's the matter with you? Where are you going? The Capitol isn’t in that direc- tion.” “That's all right, mister, and I’m obleeged fer your information,” responded the visit- or over his shoulder, as he increased his pace. “I only wanted to know where it was, so’s I could go the other way. Good by and the policeman watched the freak for as much as four minut and then went and telephoned the White House force that there was a new crank in town and they had better load their guns with buckshot instead of wads. HE LEVIED ON THE DINNER. How a Tennessce Officer Collected a Debt. From the Memphis Commercial Appeal. “The most interesting levy I ever heard of,” said Squire Bell to a reporter, “was one that I made some time in 1868 or 1869, when I was a marshal of the Memphis municipal court. I don’t remember the Plaintiff in the case, but old Colonel Cock- erill, who used to run a hotel where the Peabody is now, was the defendant. The case was tried and judgment given for the plaintiff. An execution was issued, and in those days the court had quarterly terms and all papers had to be served during the quarter or a report made why they were not served. Well, I would go out and see the colonel and begin to urge him to do something toward paying the judgment, but he would always invite me into his room to take a mint julep. Then he would become so plausible and make so many promises that I kept putting off the levy till the quarterly term was nearly up. About this time the attorney for the plain- tiff came tv me and said he was tired of fooling along like that and wanted to know how many mint juleps I had been drinking with the colonel. This scared me some, so I determined I would do something at once. “I went to see the colonel again, and after refusing the usual invitation to take the mint julep I told him that he would have to do something. He said that if I would just wait till Tuesday, which was the last day of the term, he would settle up. “Suppose you make it Monday, colonel,’ I said, for 1 knew that if I failed to make the levy on Tuesday my execution was dead, and I wanted a day of grace. Well, » colonel agreed to settle up on Monday. When Monday came the colonel was aw- k, and his three boys, who were ir the office, would let nobody see him. There were in those days, just as there are now, a lot of men lying round and waiting to get on the jury. I had counted the doors of the hetel dining room, and I picked out man for cach dooce and gave them $1 tpiece and took them down to the hote When the gong sounded for dinner I had a man stand at each door and not let an one go in. There was a great di of travel a in those days, and the hotel was crowded. Pretty on the people began to fill up the halls and ‘wonder what was the matte: The doors of the dining room were glass, and the people could see the tables set and the waiters nding ‘round, but they couldn't get in. “This didn't last very long before the old colonel sent for m ‘I call this a low Mr. Ball,’ he said. © low trick at all, colonel have done thing never done before in the world. I have levied on a hot dinner, and I an going to hold it till that money’s paid.” “The colonel xed wroth and swore he would beat the attorney in the case just as soon as he got well. But, finding that setting hot didn’t keep the dinner from getting cold, he finally sent for the book- keeper, who brought up about $500, which lacked just $150 of satisfying the judgment. ‘The colonel wanted to get off with this, but f demanded security. He was lying in bed, and reached under his pillow and handed me 4 watch and chain worth twice as much +o+—____ Didn’t Look It. From the Detroit Free Press, “These are very fine suspenders,” said the peddier to the lady at the door. “I have all kinds—striped, plain, dark, light. Now here is a very fine pair of plain ones. Did you ever embroider any suspenders for your husband, lady?” No,”” said she. ‘Now, don’t you think you'd like to em broider a pair for his Christmas present? “I guess not. Well, has he a real nice pair of sus- penders for his Sunday clothes?” persisted the peddler. “Really I don’t know,” said she. “Well, madam, ts your husband in?” No; he’s not here ye Do you expect him in before supper?” No—surely not by that time.” “Well, haven’t you any idea when he will_be here?” Not the least idea.” ‘Humph—that’s queer appointed peddler. “Oh, not so very,” said the young lady. “I haven't any husband. mused the dis- “Pa, does Santa Claus ccme on a wheel?” es, I believe so.” COL. CHQPTANK’S CHRISTMAS. BY it » =——— “So you want to-know about the most re- markable Chris’mms I ever spent?” said Col. Choptar’k to’a Star reporter today. Readers of The Star are familiar with the story of Col. Choptank, “‘the pride of the republican pahty of the eastern sho,’” as he says. It ¥ill be.remembered the colonel reached here’on thé 4th of March last, con- temporaneougly with the arrival of another distinguished-republican, and has remained here since. 8 “Well, suh,” resumed the colonel, strok- ing his eastern shp' goatee, meditatively, “I think the ‘present Chris'mus bids fair, to be the most remarkable I ever spent. Now, my young friend, I'don't propose to bother you with a recital of my political troubles, for you and my host of friends in this great city know that I have not received the rec- ognition I deserve. “But I have determined, suh, not to give up the fight for that office. The salary is a paltry consideration, for, thanks to my eastern sho’ oyster beds and tarrapin ponds the commissary wagon kasn’t got bogged down yit. What I am fightin’ for now is recognition, and, by Gad, suh, I propose to have it. “So, when Congress took a recess without my nomination having been sent in, I sim- ply settled down to wait until they come back, and in order to prepare for the siege I sent down to the eastern sho’ and had old Shadrack, my house servant, fetch me up some provision. “He came up on the boat with them him- self. He had fo’ dozen of the finest diamon’ back tarrapin in the pond; he had a kaig of apple jack that is sixteen years old, with 4 bushel of choicest apples for roastin’; he had three bar'ls of oysters, a couple of young hams that had been fed on peanuts 4nd acorns; a bushel of cornmeal, ground in a water mill; a snatch of home-cured bacon, three turkeys and a few other things. “I had made the acquaintance of a num- ber of gentlemen during my stay in Wash- ington who were here upon a similar mis- sun and whose political fortunes were no brighter than my own. Some of these gen- tlemen were feelin’ kinder blue as Chris'- mus drew nigh, and I laid out give ’em a surprise. “Last night bein’ Chris'mus eve I invited “em all up to Jedge Cherrystone’s house, where I am stayin’, for a session of “The Unsuccessful Office Seekers’ Association,” Mrs. Cherrystone and the children bein’ down on the eastern sho’ for Chris’mus and me and the jedge hein’ alone. “Well, old Shadrack was master of cere- monies and the way he made them city ser- vants, who was helpin’ him, stand around was a sight to behold. First thing he did was to have a big wood fire built in the fire place in the parlor. Then he got out the jedge’s big punch bowl and made it full of hot apple toddy, jest steamin’ and lilin’ when the first of the guests begun to arrive. “Old Shadrack, in his white shirt, stift collar and white gloves, seemed kinder sur- prised and a little indignant at some of the guests, for, of course, the boys are 4 little run-down for clothes after a long siege in Washin’ton, and he wasn't accustomed to such company at my house down on the eastern sho’, but I gave him a look to freeze the marrow in his bones, and then he received them with the air of a Chester- field. i “*Allow me to serve you with a toddy, suh,’ old Shadrack would say, and hand out a glass of the. nectar of the gods. The beverage was a surprise to some of the boys, especially those from the north and the west, wo were unfamiliar with east- ern sho’ apple toddy. They were more sur- prised before they got through with it, too, and this mornin’ some of ‘em are wonderin’ what happened to ‘em. “Well, soon old Shadrack threw open the doors of the dinin’ room and says ‘Dinner is served, suh.’ Old Shadrack had outdone himself on that dinner. You never tasted such tarrapin in yo’ life. We didn’t follow no new-fangled ideas about courses, but lit into the terrapin first, and stayed with it throughout the gam “At the head of the table was them two little ham sweet as a nut, with a por- tion of crisp lettuce to each slice. Then came the turkeys, stuffed with oysters and served with hot hominy. We had oysters roasted in their shells, and served that wa with country butter and corn pone. “Well, suh, the ‘way the boys went through them, provisions did my heart good and melted Old Shadyack to tears. I had been a littled ‘pestered about what to give “em to drink with the dinner, but the jedge suggested beer, and though that n’t quite eastern sho’ style and bother- hadrack some, we let ’em have beer. glad to see that after Shadrack had given orders to get more apple jack for use after dinner, the boys quit beer and ed 'emselves for the toddy. “As soon as dinner was over we went back to the parlor and sat around the fire. Shadrack passed around church warden pipes, a bucket of home-cured bright-leaf tobacco and started the hot apple toddy agoin’. Then the boys began to unlimber. Old Jedge Cherrystone sang an oyste song with an easy chorus and all s J'ined in. Of course I don’t want to mention no names, for it might hurt the feclin’s of some of the boys, but one after another got to tellin’ stories and singin’ songs, and some of ‘em was mighty funny. : 1, the apple toddy got in its work quicker than I expected on the boys, they bein’ unaccustomed to it and the Jedge and me was confronted by a situation. There Wasn't a one of ’em could stand up, let alone git home, so we couldn't turn’ ‘em out. We had the dinin’ room table shoved up in the corner, brought down some blankets and old Shadrack and the ser- vants laid the boys out in a row before the dinin’ room fire and there they slept. “As for Jedge Cherrystone and me it was jest the shank of the evenin’ for us, we being well-cured in the insidious ways of the apple-toddy, so Shadrack punched up the fire, filled a smaller bowl with apple toddy and we turned in for a quiet old time, bringin’ up reminiscences of our younger days. Old Shadrack sat In the corner and nodded, but every once in a while would break in with a correction of a date or to supply an unrecollected name. “Occasionally ene of the boys would wake up and want to sing or tell a story, but old Shadrack would give him some more toddy and he would go back to sleep as peacefully as a child. Along about 6 o’clock in the mornin’ when me and the Jodge was thinkin’ about gittin’ ready for breakfast, the boys began to wake up. “Old Shadrack was waitin’ for 'em with one of his eye-openers and such was the beneficient effect of that old apple-jack that by the time the broiled bacon and country eggs, the hot coffee and corn bread came on the table, not a one of ‘em but was ready to eat. “After breakfast me and the Jedge sent each man to his boardin’ house with a quart of apple-jack for a Christmas pres- ent, and I'll bet you every one of ’em is down in the kitchen now askin’ the land- lady for het water and sugar. “If I never git that office and do have to go back to the eastern sho’ with my proud banner trailin’ in the dust, the memory of them poor fellows, victims of the jugger- naut of politics, and the way they went for the dinner and that apple toddy will linger in my mind and make me feel that my mission in'life has not been in vain.” ‘_—_—__>—__ When His Majesty Travels. From the London, Mail! For days béfore the czar travels along any railway line the latter is patrolled on both sides by sentinels, who are stationed at a distance »f two hundred yards from one another. They» keep their eyes open, but otherwise,are allowed to take it easy, taking what is known as the “first posi- tion,” the rifle, being slung from the shoul- der. Six nou befgre the passage of the imperial train {hey assume the “second po- sition.” ‘That'fs to Say, they shoulder their rifles and maréh briskly up and down with every mental faculty on the qui vive. An hour befare the imperial train passes they assume the “third position,” standing with their backs toward the line and the train, and allowing ‘no one under any cir- cumstances to approach within a hundred yards of the track until ten minutes after the emperor has passed. Should any one attempt to approach they have orders to challenge, and if the individual continues to approach in spite of the challenge and warning they have orders to shoot to kill. Sad to relate, not even the soldiers—that is to say, those of the ordinary line regi- ments, who are employed for the sentinel duty along the railroad—are entirely trust- ed by those responsible for the czar's safe- ty, and what is known as the “third posi- tion” has been devised not only for the purpose of preventing any stranger har- boring nefarious desi from approaching the track, but also with the object of pre- venting any one of the sentinels imbued with nihilist or socialistic doctrines from discharging his loaded:rifie at the imperial train as it rumbles slowly by at its twenty- five-mile rate of speed. BAPTIZED BY WHOLESALE “Tt is very amusing to me,” said a gentle- mam recently, “the way people act when they are asked to subscribe to any fund of any kind.. The way to catch them Is to teil them that somebody else whom they know very well and who is about equally well off has given a large sum; that Is, of course, 1f the person soliciting does not mind acting the roll of Ananias, if the cause is @ good one, as for charity or something of the kind. If Mr. Moneybags has given $50 to- ward the fund, it must be magnified into $100 in order to make Mr. Closefist give the same amount. If Mr. Moneybags has given $50 originally it should be brought to his attention that Mr. Closefist has just dou- bled the amount and the chances are Mr. Moneybags will also give $50 extra. Com- petition is not only the life of trade, but of the subscription business,” continued the gentleman. “It is only by working both ends against the middle that the successful end is reached. “This reminds me of something which happened during the war. Two regiments were stationed on opposite sides of the river. A chaplain went to work on the men composing the regiment stationed on the north side of the river with good success. A number of the men were converted and he left that regiment and went to continue his missionary work in the regiment on the south side of the river. After laboring sometime, a longer time than he had done with the other regiment, he found that he would not be so successful. Only about a dozen men were baptized from the last regi- ment. The chaplain had a talk with the colonel and mentioned the fact that so few of the men had been baptized. _“\‘How many men did you say were bap- tized in the other regiment?’ the colonel asked the chaplain sharply. “Twenty-four,” was the reply from the chaplain. “The colonel turned quickly around to his orderly with the quick command, ‘Detail thirty-five men at once to be baptized im- mediately by the chaplain. I don’t propose to let any one-horse regiment get ahead of us in any way. We've got a reputation to sustain.’ “It is needless to say the order was car- tied out, and by the baptizing of the add tlonal thirty-five men just about double the number were christened as were in the other regiment.” —— BLUNDERING ENGLISH. The Gross Misuse of the Nominative Case of Pronouns, From the Indianapolis News. “There is ene extremely common mis- take in English which always filis me with sadness when it does not fill me with vexation,” said the man who tries to be careful in his use of language. “I do not like to preach general discourses on the use of bad language, because I do not feel safe, and one’s sermon in such a case is so likely to be a ridiculous example of the thing complained of. But this mistake is SO gross and palpable that any one with an elementary knowledge of grammar should recognize it. The thing which makes it peculiarly sad or vexatious is the fact that the error 1s often made by persons who make some pretense of using good En- glish. Half or 75 per cent of the school teachers, I will venture to say, make this mistake. It is the use of such expressions as ‘Between you and I,’ ‘They asked you and I to come,’ or ‘Let you and I go,’ or, more horrible still, ‘They saw he and I uptown.” In other words, it is the use of the nominative form of the pronoun as the object of a preposition or a verb. “The reason for this is obvious. It is known that ignorant persons use such ex- pressions as ‘Him and me went up town,’ or ‘you and me was seen.’ People learn- ing that such expressions are incorrect scmehow get the notion that it is never correct to use such a form as ‘you and mm or ‘him and her,’ or ‘them and me.’ They feel guilty whenever they are caught using such a combination ef words, and doubtless if they heard a person say, ‘They asked him and me to come to the dinner,’ which alone is correct, they would have a sense that an error had been made. They get to feel that the conjunction ‘and’ has a Kind of double action ccntrol, governing the nominative case at both ends. A little reflection would remind them that this vord has nothing at all to do with the c “A sure cure for this kad Fabit is to drop the ‘and’ and use each of the pronouns aione. What person, for instance, who would s y asked you and I to come,’ vould ked I to come,’ or What person who would without he: y, ‘Let you and I go,’ could ever be caught saying, ‘Let I go? Many of the people who use ‘you and I’ as the object of 4 verbewould not go so far as to say, ‘They asked he and I if we would come,’ but there are persons who go this length and display an annoying rense of superiority in doing it. They fee! that there is something clegant about the: combinations, ‘He and 1,’ ‘She and J,’ and ‘They and I,’ and scorn the humble accusative forms, yet even these would hardly y ‘They saw he,’ or ‘The w I,’ or ‘They saw she,’ or ‘They s Why in the world, then, should make any difference in their This is a point to which it would fer teachers of English to give their at:cntion ———— INDUCEMENTS. When They Were Wanting Nobody Would Take a Han “I was down in the mountain country of Kentucky during the month of October,” remarked the traveling man, “just before the last election, and one day I stopped at @ cross-roads store, where I hoped to sell a bill of goods. On this occasion, my man was busy with a family buying party, and to while away the time I had to wait I started a small talk on politics with about as yappy a looking mountain farmer as I ever ‘met up with,” as they say in those parts. “ “How are things going in this country? I asked him, after a question or two on crops and sawlogs. "Bout ez usual, I reckon,’ he responded. **And how’s that?’ “ ‘Republican.’ “I knew the democrats hadn’t much show in the mountains, but I was thinking the pepulists would come in for their share this ume and get most of it from the republi- cans?” “Well, the; the'r busines: gust. “Why, what was the matter with them? I had an idea they would do a great deal to win.’ “So did the rest uv us ’round here,’ he said, drawing over closer and becoming confidential, ‘but you see, stranger, they didn’t know the fust principles uv politics, an’ instid uv puttin’ up the price uv votes they talked erbout winnin’ by bustin’ up the methods uv the old parties, an’ they perceeded to bust 'em by offerin ‘erbout half the figger either one uv the other sides wuz willin’ to pay in a pinch. In course, that sorter thing wouldn't work in this pre- cink, an’ the party didn’t even git organ- ized. Thar’s lots uv us ready to jine, too, but thar‘s got to be inducements offered, er the old parties is good enough fur us.’ ” —>—_—— might uv, if they’d knowed he said, in a tone of dis- Trials of a Novice. ‘ ‘The Boy (to Brown, who has just taken a “little place” .n the country)—‘Plaze, zur, wot be I to start on?” PHILANDER. JOHNSON» Written for The Evening Star. Inclizible. I'm sorry fur the youngs how seem left behind, When Santy Claus is givin’ gifts to all that’s good an’ kind. I'm sorry fur the boy that gits to feelin’ that he ain't A-standin’ high as some in the affections of the saint. ers that some- But there is troubles worse than theirs in | Christmas day's delights, No matter who he is, a youngster always has some rights. I'm savin’ up my sympatiies to give ‘em re due— To that pinin’, unremembered chap, boy that went an’ grew. the If you are him, it’s useless fur to tell ‘em it ain't wise Nor even fair to go an’ judge a feller by his size; An’ that the big folks kind o° holds ye off because yer style Is always so ondisnified an’ ultry-juvenile; To tell them that to romp an’ sing comes jes’ as natural now As it did before Time wrote yer cares in wrinkles on yer bro They may try to make you welcome, but it's more than they kin do. You feel yer degradation. You're the boy that went an’ grew. How you envy every shaver as he shouts while passin’ by! How you hate to hear him tonin’ down his voice when you draw nigh! But he cannot wholly trust you in yer Jaught ‘eause he fears _ That it may be meanin’ methin’ more than his’n, like your tears. There's litttle that you may not hope to call your own some day In power or position, if you work the proper way. But you'll find your wishes baffled by that thoughtless merry crew. You kin only be a stranger. You're the boy that went an’ grew. * x x Deference. The man with a sailor-like appearance murmured something about having gotten on the wrong street and tried to dodge when the lady ran down the steps and made for him. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” she exclaimed as she took her stand squure- ly in front of him to pre 1 escape. “You ain’t the lady I sold the parrot to, are you?” he asked, throwing back his head and Idoking at her with one eye. “Yes, Iam.” “An’ how’s the parrot treatin’ you? Fine, I warrant.” “You're a swindler.” He dropped his head and shook it depre- catingly, still keeping one eye closed. “You told me,” she went on with increasing in- dignation, “that parrot was one of the most intelligent animals of its species, and that it had a gift of language which you had never heard sur sed.” “Did I tell you ail them things?” he in- quired. “You unquestionably did. “Well then I'll stand by "em. You got a prize an’ you don't appreciate it. Th bird hus even more smartness than I giv: him credit fur. Talk about Intelligence! He’s a marvel. An’ he kin taik, too though I never pertended he had had the advantage of good socie He kin roll oif observations of the most p'inted character Without end; though I call on ye to re- member that there warn’t nothin’ said —s t say a word. it, ma’am. That's what Shows his intelligence. The minute he seen e, he knowed ye y ‘is tongue. S$ a lady an’ he holds * x OK How He Encaped. “TI will never forget,” remarked the man who is fond of narrating personal experi- ences, alleged or authentic, “the time when I couldn't sleep without the use of mor- phine.”” “You don't mean to say that you were ever dependent on that insidious drug!” exclaimed his friend, with a shudder. Youldn’t have done without it.” ‘But didn’t you feel the awful pangs of remorse? Didn't you have the horrible fear that you had failed to realize the és into which you had drifted, until it too late? “No. My only regret was that I hadn't begun sooner. I had been ill for some time and had to have an attendant sleep in the room with me. He was a student of medicine, and had with him the proper instruments for ad- ministering the drug hypodermically. He explained their use to me and then laid them on the mantel- piece. That night I awakened to hear the attendant talk in his sleep and then be- gin to snore. I was rather nervous, and the long, vibrant notes with which he modulated from key to key kept me in terested but not entertained. My anno: ance became so great that I could not re- main in bed. I felt that I would do any- thing for the sake of more sieep; that I would run any risk in order to enjoy repose or even lethargy. Then I[ thought of the morphine. The temptation was more than I could resist. I went stealthily across the moonlit room, and in a moment I had ciutched the morocco-cov- ered case. I measured out a dose, and a few seconds la.er it was carrying its bur- den of sweet somnolence through the sys- tem. In a few minutes I lost conscious- ness.’ “Weren't you sorry for what you had done?” . “A little. But no one knew the differ- ence.”” “But they would have found it out if you had kept on taking it.” “I didn’t take it.” “But you said it cured your sleepless- ness.” “It did. I gave it to the attendant.” * * Suspense. It’s a mos’ excitin’ minute; All de gemmen hol’s dah bref, Ev'ry eye hab danger in it; Signs o’ trouble right an’ lef’; Trouble each'll take a hand in; Fus’ dat moves'll let it go. Miss Miami Brown is standin’ Unduhneaf de mistletoe. All serenely, lookin’ queenly, Glancin’ kyahlessly about, . She ain’ ‘spicionin’ how cleanly Dat ar place’ll be cla’hed out. - Soon de razzers will be landin’ ‘An’ de gore is gwineter flow; Miss-Miami Brown ts standin’ Unduhneaf de mistletoe. 3 = * ‘The Fitness of Things, Pickaninny Jim was sitting in front of. the big fire, with his arms clasped around bis leg. “Mammy,” he said, ‘dah’s a heap o° “It's time y thinkin’ "b “Dat's ninkin’ me fum w h up dar » kin affohd to ke j yer evuh tn de livery stabi mammy, when | a ome in ter hiah a sleigh | at sleigh hatter be hiahed, no money lef’ ter buy pres couple o” gumdrops. migaty luc dem’s reind pullin’, te o went on medii “Co'se it is ndeer wah made fon pullin’ in de snow. Dar ain’ nuffin’ so lucky "hou bin’ "em. It's jes’ sense “Would: > yuthuh animal do? “No'n deed.” “Weill, considerin’ de difficulties @” tra dat might it's mighty lucky jes" d same dat reindeer ain’ as good ea ® “possum aw pohk worryin’. Santy ¢ take kyah er lis- yuh wuck in his “Ain” he one bring up, dat de white boys ve big men?’ helped “Den yoh orter been bringin’ me up. “y de mattuh wif you?” een agoin’ right ahaid calli hame er de way you's n by * is’ name, like yoh useter push ‘lim in de baby k fain’ no way ter talk "bout * ‘n you comes ac er of gemman wif white wa him, it ‘ud be as little as you could do fo’h manners’ sake ter call “im “Kunnel.’” go > Good Cha: From Case and Comment. The following cross-examination of a wit- ness in a court in w ern North Carolina is sent us as an actual occurrence: District Attorney—“Now, Mr. Blinkir you swear before this court and jury you know the defendant's reputation in t community in which he lives, and that he is generally reputed an upright, p law-abiding citizen Witness—"Yes, sir.” District. Attorne Sow, Mr. Bli don't you know t Lafe Huggins never done anything but loaf around drink moonshine whisky and fight? Witness—"Yes, ir. District Attorney. that he abus Witne eter, able, iki ‘And don’t you kr ts his wife terribly sir.” District Atiorney—“And “Yes, don't you kn he broke up the Pigeon river camp j meeting last winter and whipped the cir- w cuit rider?” ness— District A And don't you know | that he kic his old father down s and out of the yard and nearly killet him? Witness District Attorr And don’t that hg was convicted in this v three Bea of maliciously Deacon Smith’ Witness—"Yes, District Attorn And don’t you know he was oncé accused of Stealing a and that the owner of the hors al witness for the pro ust before the trial w hac And don't you know all know these thing Witness a District —“Then how can you sit there hat this defendant's repu- tation is good in the community in which he lives?” Witne Why, mister, a man has to do a heap wuss things than that to lose his character in our neighbortiood.” Fishing for I From the Chicago Times-Herald, To fish for f flat-bottom zs. gs a man needs a broad, y punt, a cane with twenty-tive feet of geed linc hooks tind in a bunch, a companion jug. The jug prevents maiar lowlands of Lou people live ally to be nin ears old, but it lar to believe that the malaria a man likes to dcctor himself for it the three hooks is tied a small of bright red flan Th made, and the lure is drawn slowly along the water. rd of it, looks at He approaches wihin In the gener- sp and To piece and says “Oho!’ Then he s !’ and grabs it. The next it he swings in air, hooked through the throat. He is lifted into the boat, grasped betw: the left thumb and foretinger the point of the small blade of a k pressed down just between his eyes. times he sheds tears. His stilled in an instant. His quickly severed from his 1 into a bucket filled with remainder of him is where it floats chastly white, _ bol gently up and down, revolving’ slowly small circles and accusing the fisherman of mure: H. R. H. and From Answers. Centrary to general belief, royalty does not possess the privilege of free admission at the theaters. When the Prince of Wales, for instance, visits the theater, the expe ture for box hire alone amounts to This is an unwritten law at court, wh the theater boasts of a royal box or not. With one or two exceptions the royal box is not reserved exclusively for royalty, and it ean be hired by any one who cares pay the price—about twice as much as is charged for the private boxes. The excep- tions are the Theater Royal, Drury Lar the Italian Opera and Haymarket Thea Although the royal box ts open to tbe pu lic very few of those who can afford it care to occupy it. The “upper ten” shun it, for to be seen in that box is to be s matized as a rank outsider, a nouy riche, or a foreigner who knows no better. ieee ces bition, Short Primer of Landscape Art. From the’Chicago News. - A person who recently attended an art exhibition has drawn up a set of rules to enable the novice to know what kind of a picture he is looking at. He says that if a painter paints the sky gray and the grass brown he belongs to the old school. If he paints the sky blue and the grass green he belongs to the realistic school. If he paints the sky green and the grass blue he belongs to the impressionistic echool. If he paints the sky yellow and the grass purple he is a colorist. If he paints the sky black and the grass red he is an artist of great decorative taleng lucky fings in ¢ishere worl’. ‘Deed dar is.” | and may make posters if he perseveres.