Evening Star Newspaper, August 21, 1897, Page 14

THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, AUGUST 21, 1897—24 ‘Written Exclusively for The Evening Star. “Malaria is not a distinct condition, germ or potson,” remarked a physician to a Star reporter. “It is the result of a combination of circumstances, conditions and poisons. In a few weeks at the farthest it will be rather prevalent, not, however, because there 1s any particular poison in the air in this city or section, but as the result of very warm days and rather cool nights. ‘The bodies get very much warmed up dur- ing the day, and the anxiety to cool them inclines persons to ride about in open cars or sit out on porches or the parks in the evening. They therefore cool off too sud- denly, and the congested condition of things resultant for want of a better name is called and known as malaria. In old- fashioned times the same condition of things was known as bilious fever. There of course, many persons who are strong enough to resist the evil influences of the night air, but in cases where the system is run down many are very sensi- tive to it. I do not know that there is any panacea for this condition. If a person feels that he is run down, it would be well for him to take a tonic preparation for a couple of weeks, and particularly to oid the night air. This riding about the streets in the open cars at night time is very bad for some persons, though it does t seem to do any harm to others. On the nole, however, I think there are more by it than otherwise. If people harmed ut I would advise that they wear somewhat heavier than t For the first ten in Sey 1 the rm, to be on the safe avoid the night air. After that ft will make but little difference, for the clothing will be heavier and there will not be the danger of too sudden cooling off.” ie lee folks are the customers for ables,” said a livery stable keeper to a Star reporter, “in one respect, though they are about the worst in others. They hire horses frequently and always pay for them, but they drive a horse very hard. They never let up on a horse, but keep him going all of the time. For years I was in the livery business in Norfolk and Balti- more, and my custom was very large from those whe follow the water. That explains why it is that there are more sailors seen on bicycles in this city than soldiers, though there are twice as many soldiers stationed in and about Washington as there are sailors at the navy yard. People who reside on Capitol Hill realize this much more than those whe live in other sections. A sailor on a bicycle is just like a sailor be- hind a horse. It is go, go, all of the time, and the faster the going the better. The only let up is because the rider in one case tres himself out and in the other he tires the horse out.” ile: ee Ke * “The lightning bugs or fire flies, as many call them,” explained a bugologist of the Agricultural Depurtment to a Star reporter, “disappeared as suddenly as he made his appearance this summer. They were a couple of weeks later than usual in making their public appearance, for but few were seen until the middie of May. In compari- son with former years the number was de- cidedly small. New, ordinarily, they are in evidence until nearly the end of August, but none has been seen for nearly two weeks. The more rain there is during the summer the fewer the lightning bugs. There is only this connection between light- ning bugs and rain. The frequent rains wash them off the trees and drown them. -¥t has alwnys been noticed that they are rauch more numerous during dry summers than wet summers. The present summer bears off the palm as a wet summer. In this respect it has not been equaled for thirty years; that is in the east. In the middle west itis just the other way, ex- tremely dry. It may be that the lightning bugs knew of it, and went to places where there wers no rains. ee KKK “The battlefields of Virginia and the other southern states have been pretty well cleaned of minie balls, slugs, old bayone the late war, served a gentleman who has done consid- erable collecting of battlefield curios for various museums and those who pride themselves on their colleciions of that kind of material, and !t can be said that the business is about ended. Time was when collectors could purchase any amount of this kind of stuff from farm hands and oth- ers, but now a’tour of the country rarely pays its expenses, for there is nothing in that line to be had, it matters not what arount of money is offered for it. Some rather clever colored fellows in the neigh- berhood of Fredericksburg turned a few dollars a couple of months ago by re- porting that they had made a big find of minie balls. It transpired, however, that they had molded the balls themselves. They sold them at the rate of about one dollar a pound, which was about rinety cents profit per pound for them, for the lead and their labor was not worth over ten cents a pound. I have customers 1 ow for about one hundred old war sabers, but so far have not been able to supply them, though I have made considerable 2ffort in that direction.” ee eH * “I think I have seen it printed once, though it will du no harm to have it appear again, of an almost certain preventive of chills, as far as children are concerned,” volunteered @ professional nurse to a Star reporter, “and that is to have the children wear a small camphor bag under their clothing next to the body. A penny’s worth of camphor is all that is needed. My plan is to put a piece of camphor as large as a chestnut in a small bag. This will last a week or so. The smell of the camphor Is not an unpleasant one. I do not know whether it is the smell of the camphor or its stimulating effect that keeps -he chills off, but my experience has been that chil- dren, and especially those who live in the country, escape chills, which are so vreva- lent in the autuma season, whea this pre- caution is taken. Camphor will ward off other troubles to which children are often very susceptible. The preventive is an easy one to try and I am sure that those who try it with the children will thank me for my suggestion.” #4) 44 -< eccentric carpenter in Alexandria years ago,” says an old-timer, “erect- three-story dwelling by constructing the roof first and set high up on the cor- ner posts. He did this to have protection from the weather as he worked down- ward. This was looked on as a novel way to work, but in ante-bellum days the third story of a building in the northern part of WaShington, which had served as par- Jor, dining room and kitchen, became the upy rs of a comfortable dwelling. ‘The owner had built on a hill of red gravel, and after he had lived in his lit- te. house a few moriths there was a de- mand fer gravel by the street contractors. He therefore dtsposed of the earth benea.h his house and by carefully shoring up kept is Httle home ittact and built up to it, the proceeds from his bank of gravel be- Ing sufficient ‘to pay for quite-a handsome improvement.” “A Deal business~transaction took place here some thirty yeurs ago,” said the same old-timer. “The commissioners of improve- ment to keep the streets in repair required considerabie sand and gravel. One of the sources of supply was Reedy branch, a stream which flowed from Pleasant Piains through the city to the “Fiber” by 8th and R streets northwest. At 8th and NGS aw | ‘het name is the in | traits or oppose those methods because A Militia Officer Tells a Story of a Mite Overcoming a Great Lion. Some one in the group of militiamen had been showing a target perforated at a mile by’a bullet so small as almost to appear ridiculous. “And yet,” said a veteran who had seen service, “I know an instance of a dion be- ing killed with one of these small cat rifles shooting a B cartridge. About-all they are good for, you know, is to shoot sparrows with.” “A very commendable use, if they are those nasty English sparrows,” ventured some one, whose sentiment was unanimous- ly applauded. “True enough,” continued the narrator. “But to the lion part of my story. A dozen or more years ago I had a gang of men at work blasting rock in a railroad cut to shorten a line. We were near a town, and to this town came a circus with wild animals, including a lion which was no- torious for his ugly temper and his size. Of course, a parade was part of the show, and I had given my men two hours or so off to go and see it. They were accom- panied by my fourteen-year-old boy, who left his gun, one of those cat rifles I have mentioned, with me. I had my office in a shack near the cut, and here I was busy on an engineering problem after the camp was deserted by my force. “As T sat in the shack, with its sides open, hard at work, about an hour after the crowd had gone, I was disturbed by the sudden yelp of a small dog we had with us, followed immediately by a grow! that sounded like thunder. I looked up, and to my surprise and fear I saw, not fifty years away, a great yellow beast with half the dog in his mouth. I thought at once of the bad circus lion, and was sure that he had escaped in some way, and that nobody knew where he was, except myself, and that I was going to have a scrap with him, unless I could escape. This I tried to do, but the lion saw me, and at once came my way, at first with bounds and then creeping as a cat does. The thing now for me to do was to defend myself, but there was absolutely nothing I could use except my boy’s rifle, and that was so small it made me laugh to think of train- ing it on_a lion. However, it was all I had, and I took it up and waited, with a half hope that I might land the small bul- let in his eye and disable him for a few minutes, anyhow. “Slowly he came toward me, and as he crept nearer I noticed that he had got a dynamite cartridge fastened to his foot by @ snap we were using on some of them in some experiments we were making. Some careless workman had left the cartridge, and this snap had evidently caught to the hair on the beast’s foot, and he was drag- ing it along with him. As I noticed this I remembered that one entire end of it was like a big percussion cap, and I wondered if I couidn’t sheot my little bullet and hit that part of the cartridge. It was my only chance, and one in a million, and, dropping behind a heavy chest in the shack, I sighted for the cartridge and waited for the lion to come close enough to better my chances, and at the same time not get too close, in case I hit the cartridge. “Well, he kept coming until he wasn’t fifty feet away, and then I let her go. She snapped like popping an inflated rose leaf on the back of a fair lady’s hand, but in an instant I went over backward, there. was a tremendous explosion, and I didn’t know any more till a crowd of people woke me up and asked me what the matter was. They said the lion had escaped, and while looking for it they had heard the explo- sion and had run over to see what it was. Fifteen minutes later I had gathered my- self together sufficiently to tell them ‘what had happened, and when one of the circus men found a bunch of hair like a white- wash brush on top of my shack he iden- tified it as the end of the lion’s tail. That's about all there was left of him, too, but I don’t want to shoot any more lions with cat rifles, I'm telling you.” ———_ Tampered With the Register. From the St. Loais Globe-Democrat. The returns on sn electric railroad in Staten Island have not been what the gen- eral superintendent thinks they ought to be, so he set a watch on one cf his best conductors, a man rated by every one connected with the road as far above the ordinary railway ¢mploye in the matter of integrity, appearance and behavior. The man was selected not because of any well-grounded surpicion, but more as a test of what one of the most trusted men turned over as 1eceipts. The detectives employed by the superintendent found on the very first day that there was a decided shortage in the returns from the actual count of the fares taken in, yet these agreed with the register on the car. This was a puzzle, and they determined to solve it, if possible. Keeping a careful eyé upon proceedings, they soon discovered that the conductor had an expert accomplice on the car; that occasionally during the day there would apparently be something the matter with the indicator, and that the conductor and his accomplice would get up to adjust it. The ordinary passengers, of course, knew nothing about what they were doing, but the detectives saw through the trick Whenever this pretended in- vestigation nf the register was gone through the men slipped back the “total- izer,”” and the conductor was thus able to pocket $4 or $5 a day of the receipts and still have the returns agree with the fig- ures on the register. When, after their ar- rest, the men were searched, a number of small special tools for tampering with the register were found in their pockets. ~ a The Drift of Modern Talk. Frem the Chicago ‘Tribune. Here is something that happened at a La Salle avenue house. It merely goes to show. There are three young women at the house ard one night this week four young men straggled in, one at a time, to “all.” As soon as the seven were together the conversation started briskly, but one young man, Mr. Morgan, kept silent. The small talk raged around him, but he sald nothing. The members of the company told tales of strange adventures, of acci- dents, of meeting old friends, and so on, and soon they became enthusiastic in om. paring experiences. Mr. Morgan sat end listened patiently. Once in a while a wan smile lighted up his face and then he re- lapsed into gloom. It seemed as if he tried to appear interested, but it was an effo. The others were so engrossed in conversa- tion that they did not look at him. Finaily, about 10:30 o'clock, one of the young women turned to him and sald: “Why, Mr. Morgan, I don’t believe you've said a word all evening. he replied, sadly. EARD. EEN® Boundary streets the commissioners of the second and third wards secured much material from the bed of the stream. One of our old citizens noticing that the stream ran a few inches over the front and rear of the lot saw a way to add to his ex- chequer at the expense of the corpora- tion, and took advantage of it. The lot could not be bought, he leased it for a term of years and turned the stream on it, putting in a dam to collect the sand and gravel washed down, for which he found a constant demand.” Zama Peers WHAT WAS IT? AND A True Story of a Hallow E’en Night in the City of Washington. In one of the suburban graveyards of Washington there sleeps today a young woman of twenty-two, who two years ago was the life and light of a large circle of friends. She was engaged as a clerk in one of the largest stores in town and was as great a favorite with her employers and her fellow clerks, as she was with patrons of the house. Her closest friend was the sister of a young fireman, whose home was not far from Le Droit Park, and this chronicle deals with occurrences which took place there, the sister being her other's housekeeper. “Tn October, 1895, the two friends deter- mined that they would celebrate Hallow E’en as it should be celebrated, by the usual weird and ghostly proceedings, and they met at the young fireman's house to carry out their purpose. By 11 o'clock, when they intended to call up the spirits, they were the only occupants of the house and they had begun to get nervous. How- ever, they did not propose to be frightened out of their designs on the spirits, so going to the room which they had selected for their incantations, they locked the doors and fastened the windows and began. Just what they did to call up the spirits may be left to the knowledge of those who have tried it at Hallow E’en, but suffice it that whatever they did was productive of results, and in the midst of their work they were startled by steps on the stairs leading up to the door of the room in which they were. As the whole house be- low stairs had been locked up and there ss no noise of any kind previous to the footfalls on the stairs, this nofse was the more disturbing to them, but they felt safe enough, for thelr own doors were locked and neighbors were near in case the in- truder proved to be a mortal of evil in- nt. : as it was the young clerk’s fortune. which was being told, of course, she was the center of attraction, and as the foot- steps approached the door, though the two girls rather suspected that the fireman had come back to frighten them, they contin- ued their call on the spirits as the manual directed. Then before they had thought whether the footsteps had stopped at their door or not, the door slowly swung open and a coffin of full length appeared sitting on end in the doorway, which immediately began swaying in and out as if bowinr. ‘The lid was removed, showing the occupant to be a dead man, whom neither of the young women knew. Both saw it dis- tinctly, and as suddenly as it appeared it went out again, leaving the door locked as it was in the beginning. The effect upon the girl whose fortune was being told was much more serious that it was upon her friend, and while the latter screamed, the former fell over in a dead faint. Some other Hallow E’en merry makers, not far away, heard the screams and getting into the house found one girl stretched on the floor as if dead and the other in hysterics. Explanations were given after the young women had suffic- iently recovered to be coherent, but from the night of the mysterious appearance of the coffin, with the dead man in it, who ap- parently bere no relation, whatever to eith- er of the girls, the young clerk began to fade as a flower might. Her merry spirit was subdued, the sparkle of her eye was gone, her s was heavy, she never spoke of the vision of that night, and before an- other Hallow E’en she had gone into the d, whence had come that which had darkened her life. A simple white slab of marble marks the spot where sHe sle and on it with i “And there shall be no n Senator Gray’s Mistake. From the New York Times. Senator Gray of Delaware is over in London, and with something more of good intention than of accuracy he has been telling the Britishers that Americans do not dislike them. The fact is, of course, that we do dislike them in one sense, and that in another we.do not. It would be simple folly to deny that there exists here a deep and widespread disappreval of cer- tain frequently manifested English tralt: and of certain methods to which the En- glish government almost habitually 1e- sorts. We do not, however, detest those hey are English, but because they violate ur rules of taste, morals and manne: because they are inimieal to our intcrests. Our denunciation of an occasional English- man or of an occasional British policy is racial hatred no more than the equally fierce denunciations of the same things that come from the opposition leaders in parliament are racial hatred. Engiand could get our ardent love in a week if she thought it worth her while. oo —_____ A Terrible Heredity. From the Medical Record. A special study of hereditary drunken- ness has been made by Prof. Pellmann of Bonn University, Germany. His method was to take certain individual cases, a generation or two back. He thus traced tae careers of children, gtandchfldren ana great-grandchildren in all parts of the pres- ent German empire until he was able to present tabulated biographies of the hun- dreds descended from some original drunk- ard. Notable among the persons described by Prof. Pellmann is Frau Ida Jurka, who was born in 1740, and was a drunkard, a thief and a tramp for the last forty years of her life, which ended in 1800. Her de- scendants numbered S34, of whom 700 were traced in local records from youth to death. One hundred and six of the 709 were born out of wedlock. There were 144 beggars and 62 more who lived from charity. Of the women, 181 led disreputable lives. There were in this family 76 convicts, 7 of whom were sentenced for murder.’ In a period of some seventy-five years this one family rolied up a bill of costs im almshouses, prisons ané correctional _ Institutions amounting to at least 5,000,000 marks, cr about $1,250,000. st -- + By No Me: From the Cineinnati Erautrer. “Your husband is of a pretty easy-going sposition, isn’t he, Jane?” “Fer the land’s sake! I should say not. It is the hardest sort of work to make him show that he has any go about him at all.” ses Mrs. Huff—“It makes me so mad when I see how things are done. It will be differ- ent when woman ts emancipated.” Mr. Huff—“You bet! Then she'll have to bustle round and wait on herself.”—Boston Transcript. ~—___++ e+ —_ A Full Dress Suit. From Life. “I don’t ride the wheel.’ +0 He Didn’t Smoke Them. From the Cleveland Plain Dealer. Dr. Lasker, the great chess player, when in London, is in the habit of visiting a cer- tain restaurant, known to many chess devctees. On one of these occasions, just prior to his departure for St. Petersburg, to play Dr. Steinitz for the championship, a fussy old gentleman offered to play him for a box of cigars if he would concede him the odds of a queen. The offer was good-naturedly accepted, and on Lasker's winning he became the recipient of a box of doubtful looking be tte the same restaurant, After easily defeat ing Steinitz, Lasker happened to meet his late opponent, who asked him what he had thought of the cigars. “First-rate,” replied the champion. “In ae ight almost say they won me the c. “Indeed; I am delighted to hear it!” re- turned the old gentleman, much pleased. “Yei continued » “I gave them all to Steinitz.” ———__-+e-+-______ He Fergot the Instractions. From the Atlanta Constitution. A Georgia man who had made a flying mecnhine offered a negro $10 to make a trial trip in it, The negro agreed, got in position and he and the machine were holsted by block and tackle about thirty feet from terra firma. ‘Whedi the rope was lodsened the machine took a sudden slanting course toward earth and plunged into an adjacent mill pond. It disappeared with the negro beneath the water, while the terrified invertor stood shrieking for assistance. Presently the negro’s head bobbed serenely, and he struck out for dry land. On his first ‘spluttered words were: “In de name er God, Marse John, why pe a Met pee a eral sted ond —<—<—$—$ Want" ads. in The Star pay because een cra aa nr anita WITH A TWENTY-TWo CALIBER. | MOTH -FATEN GES. MOST PRECIOUS OF STONES. PIANOS How the Ravenous Little Posts Injure Fine ngine es Some Interesting Facts About the Value of Rubies. “To the question, ‘Which is the most val- uable precious stone?’ nine people out of every ten, at least, will, without the slight- est hesitation, reply, “The diamond,’ said @ dealer in gems to the writer. “But the value of a good-sized diamond cannot ap- Proach that of a ruby of the correct color and similar dimensions. _ “The worth ‘of small rubies—stones that are of less than a carat—is, if- anything, rather less than that of diamonds of a like description, but the rare occurrence of large specimens of that dark carmine tirt which is looked upon as the sine qua non of a perfect ruby causes the value of these gems to inzrease in a far greater propor- tion than in the case of diamonds. Rubies weighing more than four carats are so ex- ceptional that when a perfect one of five carats is brought to the market It will com: mand ten times as high a sum as a @ia- mond of the same weight, while rubies of six carats, without crack or flaw, and of the proper color, would, in all probability, bring as high a price es $5,000 per carat, or fifteen times as much as a diamond of like size and faultlessness. “A' over the east rubies are regarded with the greatest possible favor, and so it has been from the eariliest times of which we have any record. The finest specimens are found in Burmah, and from time im- memorial it has been a law of that country that all rubies of above a certain size are the property of the king, whoever may have been fortunate enough to find them. An Expert Tamer Gives a Few Polats Well Worth: Remembering by Musicians. Written for The Evening Star. “This is a moth-eaten piano, madam, remarked a piano tuner, after running his fingers nimbly over the keyboard of an expensive instrument which a well-known lady amateur pianist of this city had re- quested the expert to call and examine. The plano, at which the tuner stood, had only been purchased last spring, and, much to the annoyance of the owner, had recent- ly developed a series of wheezy, rattling responses to her touch on several keys. “A moth-eaten piano! Who ever heard of such a thing?” exclaimed the fair own- er, incredulously. “At this season of the year moth-eaten Planos are common,” replied the tuner. “I overhauled over twenty such instruments last week. Indeed, there is nothing moths like better than to revel in the interior of @ piano, where soft cloth is used to no small degree in the delicate mechanism » JOHNSON? Written Exclusively for The Evening Star. Meandering Mike's Confession. How often people asks me if I wouldn't like to change Me present mode of livin’, which to some folks must seem strange. An’ I always answers truly, from de bot- tom of me heart, As how dere’s lots o’ ways I has from -which I'd like ter part. I'd like ter smoke de start, ‘stid of de finish tree t’ousand fish. T’ousands is tousands, an’ fish is fish.” “But Ol said nothin’ about catchia’ "em wit’ a hook an’ loine or a scap-net, did Oi? The fish wor bein’ load=d from the boat ty be packed inty boxes tv ice. A felly stood off an’ t'run ‘em to me, wan ly Wan. An’ O! caught ‘em.” * * * m Impression of Hamlet. “Talkin’ about the theayter,” sald the local character to the summer boarder, “reminds pen and make-up of the instrument. The cloth | It is thought to this day there are con: on cigars; Bey rag ta Winey re ape is placed wherever there is liability of con-|cealed in Burmah, among the treasures | I’ Mke ter ride inside instid of underneat’ py — sca tact petwecn ay of the reer mnowsnis nite the British invasion caused to be * de cars; seiateom we ,to the portions of the instrument, in order to len away, rubics of far greater size | 7, = > ax é avoid the rattling noise that would other-| and value than any which have up to now | ©4 like ter own de dog an’ not be bitten in ‘Not whut you'd wise result from such contact. It is on this | been seen either in Europe or this country. de leg; call often, exackly.” cloth that the moths delight to feed, and the ravenous little pests are not long in eating the material away from some im- portant spot, and bringing about the re- sult the cloth was put there to prevent. Le me show you that such is the case with your piano.’ : The tuner opened the instrument, un- covered its maze of strings and pins, and its rows of delicate hammers. Several tiny heaps of white dust were discovered be- neath where the moths had eaten the cloth away. “Ah,” said the tuner, “I thought us much! The damage is, however, slight, and easily repaired; and now that you know the moths are there they can be quickly exterminated. The best and most simple to keep moths out of a piano is to dust it thorough- ly inside with a soft feather duster not less than once a week. Then if the instrument is placed in a well-lighted room, when not in use, during the summer months, moths “How many times aid you go?” “About once. But I never will furgit it I hadn't behelt sech goin.’s-on before an’ ] hope I never will in.” “What play did you Bee?” “The law which gave fine rubies to the ruler of the land has undoubtedly caused the destruction in modern times of many magnificent specimens of this gem, for the finders of larger stones than usual have, whenever the opportunity was favorable, broken them into fragments, each weighing less than a carat, to insure themselves the ession of several rubies incomparably less valuable, it is true, than the original in which they were once united, but still their own instead of the king’s.” —_ SUBSTANCE OR THE SHADOW. I'd like ter blow de foam off, drinkin’ from de keg. “stid o” T'd like ter grab de sunset wid its splendid yaller glint, An’ melt it down in solid chunks an’ take it to de mint. I'd like ter have a check book an’ ter put me name down free, Ter help along some object of compassion what ain't me. “I disremember that. I was that took up — weth chin’ What was happenin’, I didn’t pay no ‘ten: tion to names.” “Who was the tragedian?" “I hones'ly don’t know whether they had ary or not—though it was whut passed fur a fus'-class company an’ I suppose in.” recall the the part?” THE T'd like, instid o’ choppin’ wood, ter try me glitterin’ steel On coupons; but I can’t because me na- ture’s too ideal. I'd like a work-extractor fur to smooth out fortune’s way; . I'd like ter run a daisy biz widout no busy days. The Tell-Tale Mirror as Testimony in an Important Case at Law. “What is and what is not testimony,” remarked the attorney who goes twenty miles out on the railroad every evening to sleep, “is not always determined by Chit- name of the a tweeter will not enter, or stay in the interior long | ty, as I can testify, after an experience I foln sata COM, KNOW that neither. But enough to do any ana Your plano 18 | haa not Jong ago. I was spending a week Ce fol ce Said he was the finest in business ory natier’ oxciined the ooacn, “It | With a friend who keeps a mountain re- A Domesite Dimezity. ‘tow beset has been in use but four months, and a | sert in Virginia, and during my visit the “I want to see about getting a servant,” |, ell. ye kin jedge fur yerself. The good plano should certainly remain in tune } recom of one of the guests was robbed of | said the w: ed-looking man to the clerk | {ue feller. he got in the habit of re- a year. | citin” portry and the fust thing he kno’ “A common error among non-professional | his head got whizzy an’ he jewelry amounting to $40 or $50. Several servants were suspected, but the theft in the intelligence office. players,” replied the tuner. “It is really “Aren't you the gentleman who was here | Shost. He was by surprising to note the ignorahee that pre- | Could not be fixed upon any one of them | shout a weck ago?” inquired the clerk. marryin’ agin, owin’. I suppose, to the fack vails in regard to this popular instrument. | until I happened upon the man who came] _ «.y,. » 4 at a second marriage ‘ud be li'ble to Tho principal object of the best piano-| to get the laundry of the guests on that} Ws one say “a livide up the property too much, although makers is to have their instruments stand | floor, mine among the number. This man] | “ e girl we sent you? there wasn't nothin’ said about that in the in tune well. Unless they succeed in that | was thoroughly reliable and of some means,| “Gone-’ piece. He fell in love an’ then sassed the the quality of tone'or beauty of finish they | which he had saved during many years of | “Well, you tell me what, qualities you | /#¢¥ he fll in love with, an’ the wust impart to them will be of only superficial value. But even pianos bearing the names of the most famous makers are disappoint- ing in this important respect. They are good reasons for it. Leok for a moment at the way the musical part of a piano is work about the hotel. “I was interested in the case, and when I mentioned it to my laundryman he look- ed surprised and asked if he could not have a private talk with me on the sub- ject. He gave me such information that I felt safe in having a colored chambermaid thing about him was the way every time he got inter trouble he'd do nothin’ excep" ter come out in the middle of the stage an’ recite portry about it. I don't often set myself vp to jedge my feller man: but to my way o’ thinkin’, 7 he eS that feller acted like want and I'll see if I can’t get somebody who will suit. You'd like a good cook, of suppose so.” nd some one with skill as a laundress.” “It wouldn't be a bad idea.” made. Z “The steel pins that hold the wires are | arrested for the theft, the prosecuting at-] “Look here—suppose you give me an * riven into a solid block of wood, and in | torney, of course, taking the lead in the | €xact description of the kind of a girl you = ** order that this wobdmay retain a firm hold | action. The girl denicd stealing the jewelry, | Want, instead of letting me do the guess- economics. ing. “Let me see,” was the pensive rejoinder. “You'd better look out for one who 1s about 5 feet 3 inches high; weight, in the neighborhood of a hundred and twenty pounds and rather short-waisted.” The clerk gave a gasp of astonishment and then asked: “Would you mind telling me what you discharged that other girl for?” “We didn’t discharge her. She left. My wife's bicycle wouldn't fit her. * * * A Cruel Hoax. There was terror in the palace. Pallor seized the sultan’s face As his nectar-foaming chalice Fell in fragments o'er the place. For a deep reverberation Shook the ceiling and the floor. Brave men fled in consternation. The sultana slammed the door. of the pins anti yetsadmit of them being turned by the tuner’s hammer, not only are great care and skill ecessary in the fitting of them, but itis absolutely requisite that the wood shoul be of the very best seasorz ed material. 1). © “Outdoor sedtoning is the only method by which this wééd may be perfectly cured, no matter what the kiln driers say to the contra’ ‘Outdoor seasoning re- quires a longtime) and the keeping on hand of immefse. stocks by the manufac- turer representing dh investment of thou- sands and thousands of dollars. “There are rot mapy mpittufacturers who can afford to: keép-so much capital lying idle, aug they ‘are‘obtiged, even if they preferred to dé otherwise, to use the kiln- dried wood It?'their’ pianos. The artificial heat in parlors, clay’ if it 1s hot air from a furnde#, acts disastrously upon the Kiln-dried pin “boar, aiid no piano’ con- taining, one can be made to stay in tune after thres oe ‘use ‘bechuse the shrinks graddally, and the’ pins move in the block fréni“évery hatd blow of the but we stocd ready to prove what we had charged and the case came promptly to trial before a magistrate. “Our side did not have much show until I called the laundryman. He was duly sworn, and testified that on the day of the stealing he had stopped in front of the door of the room in which the theft was committed, thinking it was a room where he was to cull for laundry. In getting close enough to see the number on the door, his attention in some way was at- tracted to the large transom over the door, which was set open at an angle reflecting the interior of thé room. The transom was of one large pane of glass, with a piece of dark silk over the inside, muking it to all intents and purposes a mirror. In this mirror he had distinctly seen the reflection of the figure of the prisoner, Mary French, whom he had known since her childhood. She was standing at a bureau or dresser looking at and handling some jewelry which had been left there. After a few moments he saw her take in her hand a breastpin of gold and move away about her work in “Sometimes,” remarked Maud, “when I think it ail over, it seems to me that we are real mean.” “Who are real mean?’ inquired Mamie rather icily. “We American: “We're not,” was the stout reply. “We're the greatest, grandest nation on earth. It says so in the school book.” “Well,” persisted Maud, “we might make some allowances, anyhow.” “About whet?” “About the seals.” pees Eogiand want all the seals?” “And don’t we want her to have them?” = And it seems.rea] selfish.” lon"t see why we ought to give up, if they're our seals” ee “Of course we ought not to give them all up. But we oucht not to be disagreeable about it. Besides it's partly our own fault. it’s no more than natural for England to hammers onthe wires,” : “Twas an anarch.” wailed the sultan | want all the seals sh bly “as to the’ action of! furridce heat on| ine shout avecuieg theeh i ner mov;| _In an agony of fright. After the way in which the nobility ot that pianos It injures even 4hdse of the best | ME, about sweeping, though he could no} «Some Armenian exultin’ country has been a-marrying American ‘With a can of dynamite.” “Nay,” replied the slaves who hovered Near to soothe his mind so sore; “The offender we've discovered. Your sultana slammed the door.” makers. it “Warps' the’ Keys, loosens the hold of thé"great number ‘of screws used in the wood'‘ard causes thé keys to stick, or rattle, thus sadly affecting the action of the instrument. A piano should be kept away from the direct influence of furnace heat as much as possible. “In spite of the efforts of the various makers I have yet to see one plano in one hundred that with ordinary parlor use will stand in tune more than two months. An unskilled musical ear, it is true, will fail to detect any important discord in a piano for six months, or perhaps longer, but ro cultivated ear can tolerate the discordant notes that the best plano will Insist upon giving out after two menths’ use. When you think that the steel wires and iron frames are alternately contracting and ex- panding under ‘the vatiations of the sur- rounding atmosphere, giving a constant movement of the wires and a consequent change in the pitch and tone of the instru- ment, the impossibility of a piano main- taining a perfect tone for any length of time must be at once apparent ,and if you will but reflect on the surprising fact that the tension of the strings of a plano causes a strain on the body of the instrument equal to the weight of 100,000 pounds you will doubtless agree with me that a piano heiresses the demand for sealskin sacques over there must be something positively ap- palling!” glass did not reflect her. The laundryman’s son, a lad of sixteen, testified to very nearly the same facts, as he had been standing by the side of his father. “The pin thus described as having heen taken was the pin which was lost, and the evidence seemed sure to convict, but the magistrate was very cautious. The laun- aryman testified further that he had not mentioned it, because he had not heard of the robbery until I spoke of it, and he had not cared to make any trouble at first, be- cause he supposed the girl might have been only going to put the pin in a safe place. “This kind of testimony was in my opin- ion good enough to convict in any court, but his honor, the ‘squire, looked wise and refused to admit it on the ground that the witness had not seen the prisoner take the pin, nor hud he seen the prisoner at all. It was her reflection, and as he had not seen her, and had so testified, then, of course, not having seen her, his testimony as to what she had done during the time of her .refiection was not competent and he would throw it out. Which he did, and the state lost the case, of course. Since which time I have been making a study of evidence and calculating the value of the relation of a shadow to its substance in nee ene Presidents’ Nicka: From the Miostrated American. The American people have a genlus for nicknames. The sobriquets which they fasten to men in the public eye are often remarkable for the subtle shades of dis- like, admiration, ridicule or affection which they express. The Pritish soldier is con- tent to refer to the queen as “The Widdy.” The American people have done better by their Presidents. They have been lavish from the first in the bestowal of presiden- tial nicknames, many of which have been both picturesque and imaxi one may claim that this te gard to our rulers is the mere a far tradition. For, did n English people have a habit, long ago, of pinning Such names to thelr kings as “The Un- business. Me daugh- | Teady.” “Curtmantle,” shanks” and ther Moya cem home | “Cceur de Lion?” There have been many from school th'uther | P8Tases applied. in one spirit or nother, A day recoitin’ to our first President. which led me ty tcl | “The Father of His Countr, on. Now this tyrant oriental Yields to woman's subtle sway. He essays the sentimental In a nervous sort of way. He 1s kinder to the harem Than he ever was before. | If he frown or tries to scare ‘em, ‘The sultana slams the door. * * * Mr. Dolan Illustrates. “Ye’re sayin’ less than usual,” said Mr. Rafferty, after he had passed some time in silence on his reighbor’s front step. “An’ mebbe whin Oi do talk it'll be wort’ listenin’ to.” was the rejoinder. “°Tain’t the shout- in’ ez dooes the rale that will remain in perfect tune for a year | % Court of law—presided over by a Vir- her plaini: .|cinnatus of the Wesi,” “Flower of the is an instrument that must necessarily be | Simla justice of the peace Se gern weet out: | Forest,” “Atlas of America.” “Americus ae one of extreme rarity, if not one impos- sible to make. : “A plano, good, bad or indifferent, when new, should be tuned once a month. The longer an instrument remains untuned the lower its pitch of tone becomes, and when it is desired-to have the piano drawn to concert pitch the strain on the body of the instrument fs greatly increased, so much, in fact, that the case‘is liable to yield gradually, necessitating a second tun- ing in a week or two after.” : —_— Best Way. From the Chicago News. As to the best way to go to the Klondike, accounts differ, but a good meny who have been there say the best way is to go slow. 2+ Difficulties Encow From the Chicago Record. “Did you succeed in raising money for that school teacher's monument?” “No; pupils that he had been harsh with wouldn’t contribute and pupils that he cod- dled had never prospered.” oo A Desert Spoon. Fabius” and “Stepfather of His Country.” To speak of “Old Hickory” is almost as definite as to say President Jackson, who was also known as “Big Knife,” “Hero of New Orleans,” “Gin’ral” and “The Old Hero.” Van Buren rejoiced in such names as “Whisky Van,” “King Martin First,” “Follower in the Footsteps” and “The a of Kinderhook.” Lincoln was and shtopped puttin’ nonsinse in her head Old have her wash- in’ dishes in no Emperor William’ From the New York Tribune. In view of the recent discussion in the English parliament about the necessity of keeping Germans and other inquisitive for- eigners out of British dock yards, it is rather amusing to learn that Emperor William has just had printed at Berlin a large volume. containing minute and ex- haustive particulars about the construc- tion, the armament and the peculiarities of every British warship. And, as if to poke fun at the English government, he ras sent a copy of the compilation, with his compliments, to every member of the board of admiralty in London. The “‘lords’ fcr that is the official title of the ad- mirals and politicians who are intrusted with the destinies of the royal navy—are now engaged in endeavoring to discover the source of the German kaiser’s extraor- inary amount of information, much of which is comprised among what has hith- erto been considered in the light of offi- ¢fal secrets of the English government. ——____+ e-+____ Little Joke. “Give me the man thot sings at ‘is worruck; he'll do more; he'll do it betther.’ Thin Of called fur soilence—fur fear Micky ‘ud hear it an’ have ‘ls prospects in loife spoiled furiver. It’s worse nor nonsinse. It’s li’ble ty make thrubble widout ind fur anybody thot thries ty live up till it. “If Ol wor hovin’ a job iv work done Of'd as lave have a merry songster do it @s anybody.” “Iv coorse ye would. But where does the frolickin’ minstrel come in? He sings away as blythe as a canary, an’ the boss comes around an’ says, ‘Who's the melojus taddybuck, Oi dunno!’ An’ whin he foinds out, he says, “There's a man loikes is wor- ruck 80 well twill be only charity till "im ty give "im more ty do!” No, sor; if ye're gcin’ ty be a singer, sing. An’ if ye're goin’ ty be a worrucker, worruck. But don’t shpile bot’ the worruckin’ an’ the singin’ be thryin’ ty do the two to wanst. Yez can't depind an yer vice fur much. The man thot gits along ain't the wan thot sings at ‘is worruck. Nayther is it the section boss thot wears ‘is lungs out tellin’ how the job’s ty be done. It's the felly that says nothin’ at all and puts in ‘is toime kapin’ books behind the dure marked “Shtill, Oi must say thim words sounds mighty convincin’.’ “Av coorse they do. An’ It’s people loike you who fails ty go beyant the sound iv the words thot gits filled up wid mish- takes. If Oi worn’t tired Oj'd ixplain it till yez so’s ye’'d undhershtand; which would be a waste iv toime anyhow, fur the rayson that whin Oi got trough ye wouldn’t comprehind.” “What is it makes ye toired?” “Catchin’ fish.”” Pied many did = catch?” 3 two or tree tlousand.” “Dolan?” — He Should Have Known Better. From Answers. Disgusted at repeated failures, the great doctor tried again. In agony the patient awaited relief. The doctor, alas! could not give it. The subject, a young woman, had been shot, and somewhere in her body the bullet had lodged. ‘At first, confidently, the doctor had tried to locate it by means of “X rays.” To his surprise he had failed completely. All was barred to his sight. Below the sur- face his vision could not penetrate. Though his reputation was at stake, he could do navght but relinguish the case and admit his defeat. A young women, a recent graduate, stepped briskly forward. Turning on the magic rays, a momentary examination enabled her to proclaim her success. She had focated the bullet. In bitter chagrin the great doctor turned away. The younger one quickly followed. ‘I wouldn't feel bad about it,” she said Sweetly. “It was oniy according to an im- mutable law that you failed. Don't you know,” she asked, “that no man can see through a woman! It was foolish to try.” tered. Riding an Ostrich. From the Chicago News. “I don’t believe the stories told about the natives in Africa and Australia riding os- triches,” said a California man the other day. “Americans are the best riders on earth, but they cannot ride ostriches. I saw this pretty thoroughly tried on one ¢c- casion. A cowboy who had vanquished pony he ever undertook tb break in was induced to try an ostrich. After an hour’s hard work he succeeded in mounting the bird, which at first tried to shake him off, then to get away by running, but these: tactics, of course, had no effect upon the cowboy. Then, in spite of all the man could do, the ostrich succeeded in getting its head around and seizing the man by one leg. He doubled his feet under him, the ostrich reached over his wings and got a@ good hold of his back, throwing him him, it took ‘tnfse of us to chaseune ge im. us to the fariated an ed it barely in time to save the man’s life. I don’t believe the native Australians ride ostriches.” From Life.