Evening Star Newspaper, July 10, 1897, Page 14

ely for The Evening Star. is no acccounting for tastes,” re- marked a diplomat, who held one of the highest foreign positions under the Cleve- land administration, and who has recently returned to this country. “During the four years | was abroad I met many thousands of Americans, some of whom have spent thousands and thousands of dollars and years and years of time traveling about in ali parts of the world. They give all sorts of reasons for traveling, while some of them say they have no particular reasons, but simply travel because they like to, and that * once they get a taste of it, they find diffi- culty in ttling down in their homes. Others told me that they traveled because taking it all in all they found that they could remain abroad at less expense than they could stay at home; and things and times abroad were so much nicer; you know! It is simply a matter of taste with many persons. They have a steady income and prefer to spend it in travel, rather than in any other way. But of all of the rezsons a Boston lady gave me the strang- est. When I met her, she had then finish- ed up her sixth year of steady travel, sh had made three distinct tours around the world and seen about everything that could be seen. I ventured to ask her which of all the cities she had visited she found most interesting. After considering the question a while, she answered Rome. I asked her why she preferred that to any other city, supposing it might be for a religious rea- son, but soon found out that religion was not ker stronghold. ‘I like Rome best,’ she said, ‘because they cook and serve calf's brains so nicely. In no other place in the World can one get calf's brains in the va- rious ways they cook them as in Rome.’ ” * eK KK & “In olden times,” observed a treasury official to a Star reporter, “I frequently Went out to s¢e a*game of base ball, but circumstances have been such that for the past ten or twelve years I was not able to witness a game, though I managed to Keep pretty well informed by the news- Papers as to the players and the game gen- erally. Week before last, however, I saw @ game, and a good game, here in Wash- ington. But to my surprise I did not see a dollar bet on the game or any other in- dication that there was sporting blood in those who witnessed it. Why I remember the time when every time a man came to the bat there wonli be at least a score of men who offered bets at odds that he would not make a base, or when a side came in that they would not make arun. But it is all changed now. ‘The sport as we used to enjoy it seems to have passed away, and, instead of tak- ing risks or chances on the part of the audience, the whole thing seems to be run on signs or signals first from the man- ager and then from the catcher to the players. The bleachers, as well as the sr onlookers, seem to regard the game as too precious to even risk a bag of pea- nuts on any result. Another thing struck me as very peculiar, and that was the confidence that prevailed everywhere that the game was played on its merits rather than anything else. I admit I was raised in the old school, and it may have been a bad school, but I would no sooner think of looking at any kind of a field contest, of men or horses, without taking an occa- sional risk in the shape of a small bet to back my judgment than I would think of failing to get a program of the events. There is no more betting at the ball games nowadays than there is at Sunday school. I am too old to learn the new way of en- joying sport, and I suppose I have seen my last game, though I would like to risk a ollar bill that the Bostons will win | eee et “It is a kindness, as well as a pleasure, to caged birds to feed them pepper grass and chick weed occasionally,” said a bird dealer to a Star reporter. “It is something they need, as it rests them up from the various seeds which ere fed them. Canaries are specially fond of pepper grass, and it does them good. There is no difficulty in finding it im the lawns or in any of the parks, and no objection is ever made to any one pulling a few branches. Chick- weed grows best in shady, protected places, and can be found in abundance. The white clover is also much relished by birds, though the red clover is better, but the latter is not so pienty except in the larger parks. The truth is, any kind of the grasses now, as they are in seed, is good food for caged birds. A bird can be de- pended upon to eat no more than it should eat, for there is hardly such a thing as overfeeding them. They know their limit, and they enjoy being kept up to it, as a change from the usual seeds. ke Ke & “Dogs do not enjoy the Fourth of July,” explained Mr. Henry B. King of George- town to a Star reporter. “While George- town is, and has been for a number of years, famous for the number and worth- lessness of its dogs it has also some of the finest specimens. I happen to have a good one, but he seems to smell the Fourth of July as soon as the ‘fireworks for sale’ signs are put in the shop windows, and until those signs are taken down ke is on his best behavior, and spends his time in on in one of the upper rooms of my | rather than to be out in the mad- world, for Georgetown now and | then makes up and shows that, contrary | general impression, there is consid- erable life in the old town yet. Of the hun- dreds dogs, good. bad and indifferent, that to make up the population of Georgetown, not one was to be seen on the strects from Saturday morning until Tues- day morning last. A dog has no love for the firecracker. He never had and never will hav Fs eee ee “There has been more progress made in the revolver trade in the past ten years,” explained a Connecticut revolver manufac- turer to a Star reporter, “than in any other line of trade that I know of. There was a time when even the old-fashioned, single barrel pistol could not be manufactured to sell for less than $1 or even more. That time fas gone, and the single-barrcled pis- tol is a thing of the past. In its place came the revolver, thich is now made in all sizes from a vest pocket to the revolver which is carried in a holster. The prices have kept on going down as the revolvers have improved in manufacture, so that now fect working and reliable re- 2 be bought at retail as low as $1 The revolver, and hammeriess which years ago sold at retail at $10 and $12, can now be bought by the car load 4s low as $2 cr $, and the better goods at from $4 to $4. In these arms the best steel used. The German r the only one which ever seriously com- peted with those of American make, has about ran out its rac an . and is never offered more, except in country stores, where it is bought by boy It is clumsier made and heavier than the American revoiver, no more compares with the latter cnglish line of revolvers, ime were very freely sold in ; Likewise, the American rifle and shotgun have outdistanced all other makes, though the German cheap shot- guns still find a good market with those who do not care to put much money in a gun. The American double-barreled shot- gun, which sells at retail for ut $12, is & much cheaper gun in the I run than the German make which sells at from $5 to $6, as all of those who’have expert- ence with them discovered long ago.” -* * * & “The recent international postal congress which was held in this city did more to boom the postage stamp collection busi- ness,” said a stamp dealer to a Star re- porte! han anything which has occurred in our line for many years, and already the effects of it are being felt’ by iricreased orders from Europe. Many cf the best col- lections of stamps have found their way into the museums and into the possession of rich men and are thus out of the mar- ket. The result is that a number are get- ting together other collections, and a’great deal of correspondence is going on in con- sequence. Although there are no ‘collec- tions of the sta: of the world on ex- hibition In this city, there are a number of fine collections owned in this eity. There is a general idea throughout the country that the State Department receives foreign stamps in great abundance and that that department takes pleasure in distributing the same. The State Department does receive many, but the demand far exceeds the supply.”” eee koe “Tariff Congresses are an uncertain quan- tity.” said an pld Senate official to a Star reporter, “and even now a safe guess can- not be made as to the date of the adjourn- ment of the present Congress. It has al- ways been so. The average new senator or representative generally knows it all and they had no trouble in announcing to their constituents in March last that Con- gress would pass the tariff bill and adjourn by May at the latest. Those of us who have seen three or four tariff bills pass knew enough to refrain from indulging in any provhesies as to the time that would be cousumed. The fact is the present Con- Sress is no better or ro worse than other Congresses which have had similar work to perform, and nothing is gained by pre- vious experiences, except that the longer “a man has had to do with such methods the surer he is to take the long end of it and generally add one or two months to the longest guess. When I ventured the opinion last March in the ‘Things Heard and Seen’ column that congressmen would eat their Fourth of July dinner in Wash- ington, or, at least, that many of them would, I was laughed at. Those who knew the least about it laughed the loudest. All I could say in reply was that they would have to wait and watch, as I did, and may- be they would think as I did when they got through or when Congr got through.” kk OK OX “Though the scientific sailing masters and some of the most expert ship masters,” ex- plained a ship captain to a Star reporter, “have demonstrated to an almost certainty that a ship with holes cut into its sails will sail better and faster than the usual sails, it will be a long time before the innova- tion is generally adopted or even tried. So far as I have been able to learn or read in the nautical papers, there are no prac- tical tests of the proposed improvement being made. While up in New York a couple of weeks ago, and later in Phila- delphia, I heard some talk about it in shipping quarters, but I know enough of ship captains to know that they are willing to make haste slowly in the matter. There is a superstition among men who follow the water that a captain who allows a hole to get into his sail is no better than a woman who does not darn her stockings, and until this can be gotten rid of I doubt that any great number of captains will pierce their sails. As far as I am con- cerned, I propose to sail my ship with sails rather than holes. The whole thing re- minds me of the sailorman’ who was on shore and went to a bakery to buy some cakes The clerk said she had some nice cookies, some with holes in them and some with citron, and asked which he preferred He replied that as he had been eating holes for a long time, he thought he would take those with citron in them.” ——— ee Nantilas Eggs. Fiom Chambers’ Journal. The youngest stucent of geology or fossil fupter knows what an ammonite {s, but perhaps he does not know that the only living representative of the very large family of ammonites is the pe: nau- tilus, an interesting creature allied to the cuttlefish, about the growth of which in its younger stages hitherto little has been known. In order to study the subject completely, Dr. Arthur Willey of University College, London, sailed for the South Seas, two and a half years ago, in search of the eggs uf the pearly neutilus, and tt Ras recently been reported to the Royal Society—under whose auspices the research has heen rn- dertaken—that after considerable trouble, and by the construction of a submarine cage, in which specimens of the nautilus were fed daily, a number of eggs had been secured. Each egg ts as large as a grape, and is deposited separately. It ts necessary, in order to understand the structure and man- ner of construction of the beautiful cham- bered shell of the nautilus, that the grad- ual srowth of the young in the egg should be carefully observed, and doubtless by now this hitherto blank page fa the book of knowledge has been filled in. —-- __ He Eneaped. - From the Atlanta Constitution. A bishop of the Methodist Church was preaching a sermon on the vanity of dress, and incidertally alluded to feople who ‘wore velvet and gold ornaments. After the sermon a discinguished member of his conference approached him and sal ‘Now, bishop, I Know you were striking at me, for I have a velvet vest and a heavy wateh chain.” The bishop smiled, passed his hand over the vest, touched the chain, and then sal with a merry twinkle in his ey Ni realiy, Brother B., for the vest you wear is only a cotton velvet, and [ am half per- suaded that your watch chain is bras: oe. Wheels Within Wheels. | From Puck, Mrs. Flatleigh (surprised)—“What on earth possessed you to get a Wockwock wheel, Reginald? Why, it has absolutely no reputation whatever." Flatleigh (miserably)—“I know it hasn’t, Antoinette. I got it because it is the make our janitor rides.”” —_——- +e+_____ “Dere's two dudes. Bill, let's hold ‘em ‘Oh, de poor t’ings! Dey need de money more dan we do."—Life. JULY 10, 1897-24 PAGES HE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY: A LOST OPPORTUNITY. The Story of How a Fortune Got Away From a Man. A little group of men were talking the other evening in the gloamirg time, when people seem to think more about what they might have been than they do at any other hour of the day, and the subject was lost opvortunities. “I hate to refer to the matter at all, remarked the colonel, who fought through the late war at the head of a Michigan reg- iment, “because it cnly makes me renew my contempt for myself, but I’ve had chances in the northwest to put myself in the millionaire list that nobody but a confirmed yap would think of neglecting. After the war I was a ‘land-looker,’ as they are called, and I knew the whole country from Detroit clean through to the far cor- ner of Minnesota, and right where there are big buildings and beautiful city squares today I could have bought land at any price I might name. Ore man wanted me to buy, in Duluth, a few lots at fifty dol- lars apiece, and I laughed at him. They are worth five dollars a square foot today and upward. I picked up cne piece of land at Agate Harbor for a hundred dollars and sold it for a thousand; that is worth fifty two hundred and fifty for a tract that ts worth as many thousand this very minute. “But those are small potatoes and’ few in a hill to the biggest piece of lost oppor- tunityism I was ever guilty of,” and the colonel sighed profoundly. “You know that. famous Mesaba iron mine country, up. there’ on Lake Superior, where they are taking out thousands of tons every year of the richest iron ore on earth, and any quantity of men are enjoying princely incomes from their royalties? Well, before anybody ever heard of the Mesaba iron ore I was up there running a line north from the Clo- quet river, and one day I began to have all sorts of trouble with my compass. “Ordinarily it was a very tractable and reliable instrument, but here for some rea- son it acted strangely, or rather refused to act at all, and I could hardly get any sense out of it. I kept going ahead, however, and for ten miles my trouble continued. Then it was over, and I never was quite so glad of anything as when that comp233 began to work again, and I did not have to lay my course by sun. ‘I knew before I finished what the mat- ter was, but what did that fron under the ground that swerved my needle out of its ccurse mean to me? Nothing. That's all. 1 was a plain every-day chump. What I was after was timber, and the timber all aiong there was not of sufficient quality to justify my giving the land a_ second thought, and I didn’t. Think of it, men and brethren,” sighed the colonel again, “there I was walking over and standing on millions and millions of dollars, and I could have had all of it I wanted for the mcre having sense enough to take it up, and I didn’t have the sense.” ———— What Cured Him. “No,” said the Texan, “I hain’t had a hand in a hangin’ fer a long time an’ et the Lord fergives me fer what I have had to do with them I won't do it again.” “You must be contemplating a removal to the effete intellectuality of Boston,” re- marked a Star reporter. “No, you see it was this a-way,” sald the Texan serfously ‘“’Long about five year @g0, come next August, and it was hotte:’n Phil Sheridan in Texas that year, me and four er five of the boys come across a peak- ed lookin’ feller one day with a hoss that we knowed didn't belong to him. We stopped him very polite and ast him where he got it and he said he was a stranger there-and had nothin’ but a wagon about seven mile back and off the road, with a dead hoss hitched to it and a sick little al in it likely to die, and he was out seein’ ef he couldn't find a doctor er a woman er somebody to do somethin’, fer the little gal was all he had on earth and he couldn't stand to have her die like that. He told us he had picked up the hoss we found him ridin’ because he was not able to walk fast enough and wouldn't we fer God's sake tell him where he could find somebody to see the little gal and then ef we wanted to square him up with Texas fer takin’ the hoss, he wouldn't have a word to say. “Well, we had heerd that kind of a story many a time, and the first one that had been spread out before us saved the man’s life and lost us a hoss and a subscription fer the sufferers that we took up, and we rad been learned a lesson. So when this chap give us a racket like that we give him seven minutes fer pra’r and swung him up. “That was the end of it fer the present, but about a month after that me and one of the boys happened tu be ridin’ along the rcad where that feller told us about bis little gal, and we seen something that I reckon I won't fergit ef I live to be a thousand years old. There was only a ramshackle old wagon with a skeleton of a herse in the shafts, and layin’ on some old rags in the wagon was the little bones of a child, all picked clean and white by the buzzards, just like the hoss’ was. “I kinder choked up when I seen that, and my pardner done the same, and while I was standin’ there thinkin’ he reached down under the side of the wagon ted and picked up a slip of paper pinned to the wood. It was wrote on with a lead pencil. and was mighty near faded out, but what was left was this—taking from his pocket very carefully a silver box, from which he took a small and crumpled sheet of pa- per bearing upon it the line, in a child's hand: ‘Dere pa i cant wate no longer for you to cum Because I—.’ That was ail there was to it.’ he concluded, “and then me and my pardner looked at each other and never said a word. There was a big funeral for the little gal and her pa and the pore old hoss that died in the harneas, but itll take a good deal more'n any fu- heral to set me straight with myself and put my feelin’s like they was before I fcund them bones and this little scrap of writin’. And I don’t feel the same about swingin’ a man up fer stealin’ a hoss, neither.” —_>—__. Progresst From Puck. Hotel Clerk (to seashore hotel proprietor) —They say they saw a sea serpent off Barnacle beach yesterday.” Hotel Proprietor (of rival resort, con- temptuously)—“That shows how slow they are down there. I am just sending in a newspaper account of sighting the airship off here yesterday.” 5 Sees eee At the Athletic Games. From Puck. She—“What a wonderful jumper that man ts!—but why do they keep ringing that big gong while he is making his jymps?” He—“That's Jerolamon—he’s from Brook- lyn, and he can’t do his best unless he imagines he is getting out of the way of a | trolley car.” g thousand now, and I wouldn't give a:man- XP} -E ASSIGNMENT. TO A ae The Jubilee 'Cost-the Brooklyn's Of- =P fte#s a Pretty Penny. Naval offic?ds. orf duty here await with interest the reiurn.ef the officers who went to the queae’s jub:lee on the cruiser Brooklyn. ABhough, from many points of view that assigument wes a most de- sirable one, itc:had,one great disadvantage in the important matter. of personal ex- pense, which? cared it to be generally shunned. Whén the’Brooklyn was selected for the missign, many of her officers were detached at their own request, and their places supplied by others, more fond of sociai diversigrs, Gnd at the same time able financ to engage in them. Tae consequence Was that the ship was offi- cered meinly by Yolunteers willing and abie to pay for the social obligations in- cldent to the jubilee. it was concided that the officers would be put to heavy personal expenses yond their saiaries in returning social courtesies shown them by the a: represertatives of other navies, as well as in making scme show of reciprocating the lavish hosvitalities of their English 1 ren. The trip meant wining and din galore,to reciprocate which in the slight degree. meant eapenciturgs considerably in excess of the regular salaries paid by Fe the. government. .To meet this. condition, only officers havirg other financial re- sourees -were detajled to fill the vacant places on the Brooklyn. Most of them are well eff-in-a wordly sense and several of them are. rich. In_the latter class is included Commarder Wiliam Emory, who acted as executive, officer. He is well- known here as a man of independent for- tune, fcnd of society and, as one of his friends put it, “able to hold up his end in any company, ccuvivial or otherwise.’’ Several others of the ship's company are similarly circumstanced and constitu- ted, urd were chesen on that account. In order to lighten their financial. burdens as much 4s possible, however, the Secre- tary of the Navy allotted Admiral Miller, who was in ccrmand of the expedition, the sum of $2,000 towards meeting the ex- peases cf the entertainments the officers would necessarily have to give in return for courtesies received. This money was used, of course, only for the purely formal functions on the ship, and is popularly supposed to have been merely a drop in the bucket ccmnsred with the total ex- penses incurred by the officers on their in- dividual accounts. In reciproeating cour- tesies extended they had to entertain scions of nobility and other guests of equal- ly expensive gastror omical taste¢ and sev- eral of the dinners given are said to have cost the hosts a pretty penny. —_——>—. Grease on the Wheels. From the Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. An employe of the Consolidated Traction company and a former motorman on the branch of the company’s lines on which the accident occurred last night said the disaster was scmething he had been looking for for some time, and that others would probably follow. He said: “I have motored on that line, and know just how the accident was caused. The company on the branch of this road ts using the electric brake. This kind of a brake acts directly on the axle of the car. The old hand-brake acts on the rim of the wheel. It is well known that the brake is almost always on, even though it be just enough to keep the car urder control. This makes the rim of the wheel so warm that one cannot place his hand on it with- out being burred. 2 “Now, the company has an employe walking along the car tracks putting grease on the curves-to lessen the friction of the car wheels on the rails. The old hand-brake kept the. wheels hot and the giease was kept burnt off at all times. Sinc2 the advent of the electric brake the car wheels haye no heat and the grease ac- cumulates on the wheels and always gives trouble on grades. The runaway Car last night wus heavily loaded, and as a result of tke grease’ and the extra weight the car got away from the motorman and went skating down the tracks. I look for more cidents from‘ the same cause. sos-- —_—_ An Elm With # Heart of Brick. From the New Yipk Sux)? : One of the oddest.sight of New Bruns- wick, N. J., is the elm tree in front of John E. Elmenforfs house on Albany street. Mr. Elmendorf ‘had ths tree lined with brick to keep it alive. The tree Is said to be nearly two hundred years old. Several years ago insects at- tacked it and hollowed its heart out. Then at a Fourth of July celebration 2 spark set fire to the dry interior, and destroyed the greater part of what was left. Only the bark on one sige and a little of the wood remained. At every: wind the tree shook and seemed in imminent danger of falling. Mr. Elmen- derf had: given up all hope of saving the eim, when his wife proposed that they wall it up inside. Mr. Elmendorf set a mason at work lining the elm with brick. Fully one- half of the tree is now solid masonry, and it is in a flourishing condition. The side with the bricks faces the street ard is easily seen. It is two blocks from the Albany street bridge. The tree is known as the freak tree and the brick tree. poeta It Seemed Queer. From Tid-Bits. A poor woman who kept a small shop. in @ northerm village, and who was troubled with a husband who could scarcely be con- sidered a credit to the femily, one cay found herself a widow throvgh the sudden demise of her spouse. Saiia lady: “I am sure, Mrs. G—-, you must miss your hus- band.” “Well, mum, it does seem queer to ete the shop and find something in the un.” eae ee The Time and the Tune, From Puck. , “Ang now Nero bent his glance toward imperial Rome in flames and twanged the E string | carefully to see if his instrument was in tune— “I'll give ‘em some appropriate music!” Bringing down the bow with a fiouris! he soon had. the quick strains of “‘There'li Be a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight quivering from his violin. ————+ee+ No Evidence. From Life, . Lawyer (confidently)—“I don’t believe they will be able to make much of a case against us in that railroad crossing acci- dent.” President of Road—‘‘Why not?” “Well, you see, all the witnesses on the other side were killed.” : From Life. GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS, BY PHILANDE! JOHNSON: ow Written Exclusively Ault “There's no for The Evening Star. eviiable Para use of © peeti persuaded to go on a picnic with-his fam- fiy. “Human nature is going to be in sistent, and that’s all there is to it. You'll merely w your time trying to make it any different. “What's the matter now?” wife. “Hasn't the weather been And didn’t people let you alone. s give you nothing to grumble about “Oh, yes. Bi id you notice the singing as we got back “Yes. And it was very nice, appropriate mu: “Appropriate!” he repeated, with infinite “I don’t pretend to be any cri As far as quality was concerned, the mus: may have been as 00d as any opera you'd bay five dollars -a seat to go to <leep at. But when it comes to a question of pro- priety, all it did was to remind me of the downright and unalterable perverseness of this human ra: > When people get back. from a trip to Europe they don't do any- thing but hustle around to get their lug- age through the custom house ard pro- cure a carriage to take them to a hotel, where they can rest. But when they come home from an excursion a mile and a half out of town, they can't be satisfied unless they wake up the whole country singing ‘Home Again, Home Again, From a For- n Shore!” asked good? as to e! * * * Confidence Restored. The oriental gentleman in the sfde-show was smoking a hubble-bubble when two sight-seers from the rural districts passed. They paused to ad- mire his gaudy cos- tume and watched him with great inter- est as he paused in his narcotic luxury. “I'd just Uke to know what they ca inim,” said the wi man. “He's advertised as a Turk. I took that to be short for ‘Tur- key.” But I don’t see anything about him that justifies their puttin” sech a state- ment onto the bill- board: “Ef they're goin’ to palm him off as a human turkey he orter have feathers or claws or somethin’ like that,” she commented. “The only differ- ence I kin see between him and other peo- ple is the way he smokes tobacker.”” “Ef I was as skeered of gittin’ clus up to the weed as he seems ter be I wouldn't smoke at all. And unyhow I don’t believe he's smokin’ tobacker. He's just drinkin’ lemonade through a piece of hose.” As they turned away in deep disgust at the delusions of life, the Mohammedan took a long puff at the hookah. The deep low gurgle arrested the man’s attention and he shouted. “Come back, Mandy! ‘Tain't no swindle. He ain't got no feathers and he ain't got no claws. But there's no denyin’ that he kin ‘gobble’ most life-lik * * x A Sturdy Favorite. Nearly every one wiil find Many things thet strikes his mind In a way with which most people won't agree; When the summer perfumes rise From the fields up to the skies, They seem the sweetest thing on earth to me. An’ the flow’rs thet we hev tended with sech patience an’ sech care Hev flown like fickle friends an’ left the thorns behind ‘em there. It doesn’t show a taste thet’s cultivated, T suppose, But I sort o’ like the clover blessom better than the rose. Its petals ne’er caress Cheeks of blushin’ loveliness Midst brilliant lights an’ music soft an’ low. But where modestly it waits, Folks of high or low estates Finds a comfort in its frank and cheery glow. An’ the bees, they hover ’round it an’ they seem to love it best, . *Cause it doesn’t smile with promise but to wither, like the rest; And it freely gives its fragrance to each wanderin’ breeze that blows And I sort o’ like the clover blossom better than the rose. * ** The Solitaire Hamorist. The man whose efforts to be smart are invariably painful had an unsually signiti- cant leer in his eye as he approached a group which, up to this moment, had been enjoying a placid and common-sense con- versation. “I always make it a rule to get some can- fon firecrackers and set them off at 6 O'clock in the afternoon on the 7th of July,” he exclaimed, in the loud, rasping voice which such people always have. Nobody offered any comment. said,” he repeated, louder than before, “I always shoot some fireworks at 6 o’clock in the afternoon on the 7th of July.” And a weak-natured person, who vannot | endure the idea of snubbing anybody out- right, lifted up his voice from a far corner and feebly rejoined: “Do you?” ; His friends giared at him. “Yes. It strikes you as a little queer, doesn’t it? It seems to you that I am be- hind time by several days, doesn’t it?” He paused for a reply, which never came. “But I know what I’m doing. I follow that custom because I want to celebrate the Fourta of July.” And he smiled and waited, as if he wanted to give everybody time to take a good look at the cleverest man on earth. “Of course, you'll never see through it unless I explain it to you. But it’s as simple as a, b,c. July has thirty-one days. Divide thirty-one by four and the arswer is seven and three-quarters. Therefore the Fourth of July comes at three-quarters. of a day or eighteen hours after midnight. Therefore,” he concluded, in a tone of per- fect satisfaction, “the Fourth of July comes at 6 p.m. of the 7th of the month. See?” * ** A Melancholy Prospect. He laid down his paper with a sigh and exclaimed: “I wish I could find out whom to write to, to learn what salaries fre paid to museum freaks.” “Why, Benjamin Titus!’ his wife ex- claimed. “What for? You're not any freak.” "m not any freak now. But I will be one before a great while. And I'd like to learn how much a good living skeleton ought to command per week. “Are you losing your senses?” “No. I've been reading these articles about how to take care of myself. One of them says that you musn’t eat meat be- cause it stimulates the nerves and ts over- heating. Another says that bread gives you indigestion and that potatoes make you fat. Still another conveys the informa- ton that miflk will make your hair fall out. A nervous man is a blighting nuisance to the community and the quicker he gets out of it the better. I’! have to let meat alone, sure. A man with the ind! makes home unhappy, and I can’t any more chances on filling my system with ; “It's too bad,” bis wife interjected, sym- anything | "said the misanthrope whe had been | bis | left for me to eat i: | vays were so fond of » fate than to so 1 won't run 3, and as for milk hout hair.” said his wife, “even if you were 2 museum people wouldn't t you when you said you got along without eating those thines. You don’t und . 8 quart of peanuts or 5 cents’ worth of plums fr the fruit stand. 1 suppose that on subsist a long time en peanu But he is bound to vi bon as I reach the proper deer ciation I want to go into the living skeleton department of some good reliable museum and feel that even though my own life is a blank, my “misfortunes are the means of laying up something to keep the wolf away from the door of those whom I leave be- hind.” * x * A Remorsefal Parent. A man who was bald with the exception of a small red fringe which reached around the back of his head from ear to ear waiting for the lawyer when the latter came into his office. want to consult you on a rather un- usual case,” he ssid after greetings had been exchanged. “What I came to find out is this, can a person's name be changed?” “Certainly, All he has to do is to show some good and suflicient resson for adopt- ing another name, and it can be very easily arranged.”” “I know that. But can it be done with- out the, knowledge or consent of the party most interested. “Why, of course no! “I was afraid you would say that. maybe wren you hear all the stances——” “But there are no circumstances which will permit you to change a man’s name without his knowledge. There are lots of mean things you can do behind a friend's back, but I’m glad to say this is not one of them.” “But this person isn't a man.”* “The same thing applies to a woman.” “But it's not a woman either. t's my ten-months-old baby. The trouble is that we're having too much education in our neighborhood. I honestly believe that what I am trying to do is for the baby’s own good. My wife and I were anxious to giv: him a name that would have a substantial sound and at the same time be associated with classical tradition. So we hit upon Cicero.’ “That's a very good name. “Your remark shows how easy it Is to be deceived. We iiked it first rate until our eldest girl got into the High Schooi. One day she came home and informed us that we were misproncuncing the bab name. “It isn’t Sissero,’ she telis us; ‘it's But circum- “So I learned upon inquiry. And if you" take the case I am willing to go to any expense to change his name to Thomas or John or Jeremiah. or most anything that won't sound as if we had taken an Indian papoose to raise.” * ** A Gloomy Moment. There's a subtle fascination in the study of the weird these metaphysic never can be cleared From the simple fireside story ‘neath the candle’s shivering rays, To the learned disquisition couched in sci- entific phrase. ‘The phantoms which, ‘tis told, men’s faltering nerves to shock Have filled us with great awe concerning night and twelve o’cloc! But, none the less, the most uncanny, spec- tral time of day Is the hour of , when the rats come out to play. This is the time when solitude reigns un- disputed there Where life was swift and earnest while the day was shining fair. And the aimless wight who lingers finds the fading sunset’s hue More ghastly thar the lights which war- locks turn tu flickering blue. Ard lamps sbine in the distan homes of happiness Like lantern-jacks which mock men in their moments of distress; ‘Tis then that sorrows gather and our hopes all fade away— At the hour of 7:30, when the rats come out to play From corners where the shadows seem to join in hide-and-seek They leer and jibe and jostle and they seurry and they squeak. They tlit like gruesome memories of terror and of pain That leave us for a moment, only to re- turn again. And their gaunt and sinuous bodies pass like wraiths of human need; Of cowardice and cruelty and shameless- ness and greed. Ah, better far the darkness, be its terrors what they :na: Than this hour of 7:30, when the rats come out to play. In mysteries which appear from the * x* A Memorable Display. Mr. Blykins is one of the men who are methodical in whatever they do. Even when he is bent on diversion, he lays out a program and regards any departure from it with annoyance. He did not prepare for the celebration of the Fourth of July in the usual haphazard manner. His small son, for whose bene- fit the pyrotechnics were to be, did not sympathize entirely in the extremely sys- tematic arrange- ments, but submitted to the inevitable. Mr. Blykins instead of patronizing the retail shops had sent to a fireworks manuf; turer and gotten a catalogue from which he ordered. The language of the book was dazziingly effulgent and whetted expectation to the keenest edge. When the hour for the display arrived Mr. Bly- kins, who had assembled his wife and some friends on the lawn, Mt a candle and stood it on a corner of the porch, and he read from a book, while his son held the fire- works as his share in the enterprise. The pieces did rot always perform in precise accordance with the announcements. Paper cylinders, which were billed to produce “sparkling scintillations and bouquets of silver flowers,” emitted a few sparks and faded into melancholy embers. A fire- cracker which was to explode “with a tremendous detonation like heavy artillery” proved to be a sizzer, and through some clerical error he read an elaborate descrip- tion, including references to “scrolls of crimson, blue and gold, and radiant halos” about what proved to be a whistling bomb. ‘What he looked forward to with most en- thusiasm was a large “mine.” of his ad- ¢ fox-hunting, that a woman needs steady i muscles and a healthy, vig- She neds them in her nd pleasures. Recently every day a Buffalo lad d upon Dr. R. V. Pierc of that city and stated that she was so ner ous that er months of trial she could not le >a bicycle put under a scientific comrse of treatment, consisting of Dr. Pierce den Medical Discovery before meals and his “* Favorite Pre: ion after meals. The “Favorite Prescription” promptly cured the weakness and disease of the organs dis- tinctly feminine, from which she suffered and restored strength and steadiness to the nerves. The ‘Golden Medical Discovery” cleansed the blood, making it pure, mich and invigorating, and built up solid, mus- cular flesh. The lady now rides her bicycle with grace and ecasé and withont trepida- m. Both medicines are for sale by medi- cine dealers. Dr. Pierce answers letters from ailing women without charge. {3 suffered with a bearing down pain in my pelvis and a hurting in my back and loins,” writes Mrs. Tillie Cunningham. of Weir, Choctaw Co., Mi henever I would take a walk or y it would always make me sick. After using Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription and ‘Golden Medical Discovery’ for, three months I can ride or walk and feel weil after. wards. My appetite is good, all of my bad feel. ings have disappeared and I aim strong and well.'s You can secure Dr. Pierce’s Common Sense Medical Adviser free by sendit stamps to cover mailing. Peper conned, 21 one-cent stamps; cloth-covered, 31 stamps, Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. ¥. CHAS Blood-Nerve Food Wet terone ran > For Weak and Run Down People. What is It! ‘The richest of all restora- tive foods, because it re i the esrentials of life that are exhausted by disease, indigestion, high living, overwork, Nore, excenses, abuse, ete. i by making the Mood What it Does! 1,24", ,!%, poo digestion perfect—it creates solid Sesh, muscle and nerves being made strong—the ccomes active and clear. Tt restores lost . Stops all westing drains and weakness in end as a female regulator has no equal. Boc.. or five boxes $2.00. Ti ts or by We can belp you. Advice ai book, free. |__ Write Us About Your Case. _ bra! vitalig: either ye Pri mail The Dr. Chase Company, 1512 Chestout street, Phila mh18-th&esd2t La BE AS ATTRACTIVE If you have pimples, wrinkles, moles, i ailment, ser Jeln 1. Wood- +X. ¥. Uae Facial Soa; * Reauty Book and sa al Soap or Faclal Craia. ng Telatives—he applied the punk to fuse. There was an incoherent dis- charge of sparks and then a mighty re When the smoke cleared away Mr. ykins was sitting in an attitude cf vague plation, wiih coat split up the back from the violence of the recent co: a ed his wife. an't it great?” he inauwi Wasn't what reat?” respo “That piece of Greworks. It’s the only or that has made me feel that I really got my mor worth. I somehow missed the exploding ts and the colored gerbs and the Japan fires, but I never beheld anything te equal the galaxy of electri stars and the eruption of prismatic gems!" It was one of the sultriest days of the season, when the unhappy-looking mai went into the physician’s office. It was a heavy, sullen heat, in which every twig and leaf hung absolutely motioniess. “Doctor,” he said, “Il want you to repeat something that you told me last year.” “Some advice that you have forgotten?” “No. I haven't forgotten it. I simply want to hear it over again. You remember early this spring you warned me that I would have to take better care of my gen- eral health. . “Yes” “And you especially pointed out to me that I mustn't sit in a draft.” “I recall that.” “I can't remember your exact language, but you were very eloquent in impressing the risks a man ran when he sat by an open window without any coat on, and ee the zephyrs to splash against hig chest.” “I—I don’t believe I used exactly those words. “No. That is one reason why I want you to say it all over again. I'm willing to pay the regular consultation fee to have you go through with that speech. The only way I can get any comfort out of this weather is to be reminded with all the em- phasis that rhetoric can command of how dangerous it would be to sit in a draft if there was any draft to sit in.” —_—. —_—_ The Cause. From Puck. She—“I don’t know what makes her so Positive about everything?” He—“Her sex. iter Presents the Cigary According to Their Price. Frem Life.