Evening Star Newspaper, February 6, 1897, Page 18

THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1897-24 PAGES. “The fresh air fierd has been very much fm eviiesce in~ the various departmerts during the present cold spell,” aid a Treas- ury Department clerk. “He is a nuisance at any time, but especialy so during cold weather. The treasury is not the only building which Mas-d stock of them on hand, for I have heard of them in the other departments, The fresh: air fiend -is generally a peculiar fodkIng man or wo- man. He or she is always a sufferer from catarrh, asthma or some other ailment in the head, and the height of their ambition seems to be that every one else must be forced to work in a draft from an open wirdow, so that they shall contract the same disease. The particular fiend that I refer to works in a room in the west wing of the building. He wears his coat button- ed up tight to his throat and frequently wears his hat. He has an idea that It is necessary that cold air saall be admitted freely into the room, and every opportunity he gets to open the windows he does so. ‘The fresh air flend manages to annoy every one who Is employed in the room with him, but it is only !m the departments that he can have drafts of cold air blowing in on others. When he goes to his own residence common sense prevails, for the fresh air fiend of the male kind generally has a wife, who will not stand any of his non- sense, and who keeps all of the cold air out of the house that she can.” £ ee KF “The late W. H. Wigsins, as was recently stated in The Star,” remarked a prom- inent hotel man, “though always addressed as ‘judge.’ was not a lawyer. For over twenty years he was a clerk in the room of the House of Representatives. The Judge prided himself very much over a gold watch he won as the most popular man for President, which was voted to him durirg the Garfield memorial fair, held im the Capitol. The watch was given by a western watch manufacturing concern, and was a good one. It was put p to be bal- loted for, the candidates being Sherman, Blaine, Allison, Logan, and a half dozen others of almost equal prominence. At that time there was a newspaper corre- spondent here by the name of Feiix Cro- craft. The votes were piling up rather rapid- ly for the various candidates when Cro- craft, as a joke, cast a vote for Judge} Wiggins as the people's choice for Vresi- | dent. Seme friends joined in, and before | the evening had’ passed the Wiggins vote | wes rather respectable. The humor of | | | file the thing caught on and in three more nights Wiggins led all the others. Wiggins hac served under Mr. Blaine when he was Speaker of the House, and Blaine himself cast some votes for him. Some of the friends of the, gther candidates thought it rather too serious a matter to joke over and went to work with a will to knock | Judge Wiggins out. This aroused Billy | Copeland of the Brooklyn Eagle, Charley | Fowler of the Boston Traveller, and some | | | { others, who-were strong Wiggins men, and the result cf the contest was that Wiggins won out edsily and the fair gained over three hundred dollars for the watch.” ee Re * “Though the penny of 1856,"" observed a numismatist, “was issuéd in great sufti- ciency, the coins soon disappeared from circulation, and are held as rarities. They are seldom offered for sale, but chose which have been offered brought a large price. There are several theories existing among coin experts as to the disappear- @nce of this penny, being of the older style and large, but the one most generally ai cepted Is that the penny was gobbled up in | consequence of a rumor which was started on the authority of an employe of the United States mint where the pennies were made. This rumor was that in making the composition of the metais for the coin @ bar of gold was melted up by mistake for a bar of nickel, and that the reason why the penny disappeared was in consi quence of its intrinsic value. The resul of this and other storiés about the 1854 penny Is that though there were just as y coined as there were of ‘M4, ‘55 or ‘ot pennies, one of the “36 pennies will to- day bring nearly one hundred times as much money as those of the other years mentioned. Some numismatists have even gone so far as to test the composition. They found no trace of gold. It is one of the many peculiar things about the scarci- ty of some coins.” eet ee “For chilblains, though it may not be professional for me to say so publicly, said a physician, “the best cure that I can now think of is snow. The snow can be applied in any way, either by walking in the snow barefoot, as I did as a last re- sort, or to apply the snow to the feet in a foot tub. or otherwise. What is needed is to get a good quantity of snow directly to | the feet. My experience has been that the feet should remain in contact with the snow for at least five or ten minutes. There is no danger from catching cold if the snow foot bath is used in a warm room. There are ail kinds of remedies for chilblains, of course, nearly all of them good, but snow 1s a cure in itself, not a remedy. There may be cases where it may fail, but I have never experienced any.” eR KE “I do not know when it was started,” observed an old War Department clerk, “but for the past forty years I know it has been the custom for every clerk to cele- brate his promotions in salary by handing around cigars to his fellow-clerks in the same division. It was a simple enough matter when I first entered the War De- Partment, but now, when some divisions have hundreds of clerks, it Is rather a se- rious affair. Woe be to the clerk who hands around a poor cigar on such an oc- casion. The cigars must be of the best. The proper thing of late years ts to let a messenger hand the cigars around, with the compliments of the donor, though in iden times the promoted clerk always handed them about personally. The box Must go with the cigars, so that every one can see exactly what kind of a cigar is being dealt out. The saw, ‘a man is known by the company he keeps,” has been for such occasions turned into ‘a man is known by the cigars he hands around.’ The same or a similar custom may exist in some of the other departments, though I have never heard of The cases have been rare where promoted clerks do not celebrate. Now and then clerks give din- ners and suppers to the clerks in their own room on occasions of this kind, but the cigars have to go around to the entire di- vision to have the celebration perfectly regular" +k ee “The awarding of the contract for keep- ing the District prisoners to a New Jersey penttentiary reminds me,” sald an old cit- izen to a Star reporter, “of the doing away with the District penitentiary. There was @ well-equipped penitentiary here, large enough for all purposes, for many years. It was located in the arsenal grounds—the two butldings now occupied as officers’ Quarters in the middle of the arsenal grounds were the end buildings of the penitentiary. There was an immense shoe factory, @ broom factory and other work- shops connected with it. Just as the war ‘broke out a representative from the Albany district had an amendment tacked onto an @ppropriation bill which gave the Depart- = of Justice authority to send United tes prisoners to the Albany penitentiary, hich was then and for many years after- Ward owned and managed by a private @erporation. The company which ran the — | penitentiary owners sold the labo also had a. contract ew York and Albany co: its prisoners. Besides receiving a good price for keeping the prisoners, the convicts to ntractors, in some cases re- ceiving as bizh as $t per day for the labor of each man. To satisfy the labor organi- zations the company pledged that they would never teach a convict a trade, and that they would allow him to learn a part of a trade only. Thus in. the shoe shop men were frequently kept for years put- ting on heels or soles or at work on some other part of the shoe, but never taught hew to make an entire shoe. Finally Al- bany county bought out the company, and now the penitentiary is owned by the coun- ty nd is used as a county jail and peni- tiary. The matter of transportation has been very costly in sending pri: up to Albany. This will be reduced under the new contract. It would have been much cheaper and better all around had the pen- itentlary been kept here. There was no reason except private greed on the part of a corporation which caused the change to Albany and the abolition of the United States peniten . The climate at Albany has been specially fatal during winters, especially to colored persons sent from here and other places further south.” x OK OK * “The quickest marriage tie-up I ever heard of,” remarked the charming and ac- complished New York drummer, to a crowd of ordinary drummers, “took place on a Baltimore and Ohio train in the state of West Virginia, about three years ago, and I was a witness to it. I was coming through from the west, and somewhere in the neighborhood of Deer Park a very comely and wholesome-locking mountain woman got aboard. She w I should judge, about forty years old, and had every appearance of thrift and widow- hood in a long-established condition. She had with her a boy of about fourteen, who was her son. She was garrulous and friendly, as some women sometimes are, and it wasn’t long until she was asking me all manner of questions. She was talking along at forty mfles an hour, and at one of the stations about twenty miles west of Cumberland, a man, who would have been considered an excellent match for the wo- man, came on and sat down across the le from the lady and myself. I thought * first he was going to mingle in the conversation, but he did not, though he listened to the woman as if’ she were an angel speaking out of the clouds. Naturally the woman doesn’t live who could stand that sort of silent adoration business, and it wasn't long until she was really talking across the aisle to the new come though e was appafently still’ talking to me. Just as the whistle sound- ed for Cumberland the man arose and came over to us, stopping with his hands resting on the back of the seat the woman occupied and on the back of mine. ““Excuse me, ma‘am,’ he said, loud enough to be heard above the noise of the . so there might be no mistake, ‘but what might your name be?” ‘Well, she responded pertly and with a blush of some inner consciuusness of what was In the mind of the man, ‘it might be the same as your'n, I reckon, but I s‘pose it ain't. “Why ain't it?" he inquired nervously. It the oddest performance I had ever witnessed, and the dead earnestnes: in the voices and manner of both the strangers impressed me so that I turned; full around to hear what the woman would reply to this apparently irrelevant, not to say silly, question. Indeed, I'm sure I don't know,’ said, looking him square in the eyes, ‘but I reckon it ain't, ‘cause you never asked me to.” “Thereupon he asked her to,*plump, and without any cireumlocution, and she ac- cepted him, even before she knew what her name was to be and before he knew what name she was giving up for his. Pg- fore the preliminaries were concluded the train had stopped at the statfon, and with @ short ‘good-bye’ to me they hurried away up town to find a preacher to tie the knot thus strangely and quickly tangled on the train.” * * * * newspapers,” said an old peaking of | Journalist at the Raleigh the other evening, “I wonder if Horace Greeley’s spirit is where it can see and comprehend what is going on here. If it is, and if his shade has the gift of original and picturesque expression with which he was bless while in the flesh, it would, barring a Streak of unique profanity pretty certain to run through it, be entertaining and in- structive to hear his opinion of the little supplement of the Sunday New York Tribune, entitled “Twinkles.’ With all his oid command of forcible condemnatory language I am afraid he would feel that he couldn't do the subject justice. Still, I should like to hear his effort.” A Ke KK * ‘The wooden peg, as far as the cobbler is concerned,” said Uncle George Wayman, an old-time shoe cobbler, “has about play- ed its part and will never be heard of again. The steel nail or tack has taken its place. and is used exclusively by cobblers new, except in ouilding a heel, where we can run in a tew wooden pegs before we put on the last-top, which is nailed on with steel nalis. The wooden peg makes a much easier wearing job, but, as nearly all shoes are now factory made and the welts put in them are very thin, they are not strong enough to hold the pegs so. we can shave off the ends. If we used the old-style shaver It would cut the welt to pleces. Shoes are manufactured so cheap in the past few years that people find it cheaper to buy a new pair of shoes than to have them cobbled to any great extent. Time was when shoes were made so that they would wear out three or four sets of heels and soles, but that time has passed. It is rarely these days that they will stand more than one set of heels and soles. Few, very few, persons think of having shoes made to crder any more in comparison to the large number in former days. This ready-made shoe business has been stead- ily growing fcr the past twenty years. As for boots, except for a few old-fashioned persons who will not change, they are seldom made any:more. Many is the hun- dred pair of boots I have made for the older residents of Georgetown and Wash- ington. But all of my customers of forty years ago are long since dead. Why I am lett over I do not know, but I was taught and always believed that God moved in a mysterious way His wonders to perform. ‘There was a time when I had a number of customers who wore four pair of boots in a year. I got from $10 to $12 for each pair. I haven't made a pair of boots for over two years.” * eK * * Several members of the Ohio delegation were sitting in the cloak room during a roll call In the House. > “Well,” said one, “Col. Donn Piatt had an appointment to meet a friend in the lobby of the hotel, and was standing by the stove talking with the clerk, who was the only other person there. Presently the hotel "bus drew up before the door, a young lady entered and her trunk was deposited on the floor. The clerk stepped behind the desk while she registered, and Col. Donn was left alone by the stove. He was some- what surprised when she directed him in a peremptory manner to carry the trunk to her room. Donn understood at once that she thought he was a porter. He did not say anything, but took the proffered coin and grabbing the trunk struggled up the stairs, followed by the young lady. The clerk grasped the joke and called out the number of the room, the location of which Donn happened to know. He deposited his burden, and returning added something to his fee and had a drink with the clerk.” ‘ee eK ‘The third man in the group also had a stery. “A young lady,” he said, “some years ago was riding up to Columbus. The which thus compelled an old man to per- form such work. He pulled at the window with even a greater display of age and stiffness, the young lady the meanwhile expostulating and begging him to desist, becoming profuse in her apologies for hav- ing disturbed an old man. The window was raised, and he shansled out into the aisle. The young lady continuing in the same strain, a shadow of displeasure passed ever his face at her remarks on his ag He stood for a moment in the aisle wit his arms at his side. Then he sprang Into the air, and, turning a backward somer- seult in the confined space, landed by the side of his seat. He resumed it and once more became the stiff old man. “Who was he? Why, the elder Ravel, one of the most wonderful acrobats ever seen in this country.” = 2)es ee t30e8 “If there is no more truth in history,” said an old resident, “than we see in some of the published records of the past as to happenings with which we are conver- sant, history is not worth much. Even authority as Frost (and I have known a dozen other authors, including the acccmplished Grace Greenwood, to make the same mistake), states as a fact, that President Taylor contracted the disease which led to his death, on July 9, 1850, while attending the corner-stone laying of the Washington monument. As a fact, that ceremony took place during the a min‘stration of President Polk, on Febru- ary 22, 1848, and I donot think that “Oid Rovgh and Ready,” was present then. It is true that Gen. Taylor contracted. his ilmess at the monument, but the occasion was an immense Fourth of July celebration by the Sunday: schools of the District, and the day being intensely hot, many suffered from the heat, and I have no doubt that President ‘Taylor was but one of a number who ccntracted fatal illness that day.” x eK * KX “An old resident in talking to a Star re- porter recently was somewhat out of the way,” remarked one quite as old, “when he stated that the old Columbia Fire Com- pany, after being located near the Capitol for a number of years, was in later. years en Perrsyivania avenue and 8th ‘Street, near the market. The Columbia company had an existence of sixty years as a_vol- unteer company and was locatcdfirst east of the Capitol and then north) ‘add itinaly south of the building. “Phe *to#ipdny” at the market was known ag the ager ance, and prior to its locdtion tHURs was called the Patriotic, and the apparatus was housed on 8th street near E northwest. The fact that the “Persy’” was at the market is probably better known by old- time boys than any other because its bell nightly struck for 9 o'clock, when all yourgsters were suppcsed to leave for their homes, and 10 as a signal that they were liable to be taken up by the auxiliary guard (police). -_ An Easy Victory. Mr. Meekton’s wife had been making a few remarks to which her husband listened with a patience which showed that his dis- position is diplomatic rather than bellicose. The theme of her discourse was the in- feriority of men and their usurpation of power, a topic on which she can be depend- ed to wax eloquent, even if she has to say the same things over several times. “Henrietta,” ventured her husband, in a gentie tone, “I do not think that you were quite right in saying that the whole scheme of creation shows that women are superior beings.” *“You—do—not—think—what?” manded, in ominous accents. ‘I do not think—er—that is to say, I ad- mit that you bring some very good argu- menis to bear on your side of the question,’ “You speak as if there were any other side to it, Mr. Meekto: “Well, 1 was just conversational and pl Procee: You offer facts which very strongly sup- port your theory when you refer to the success with which queens have governed and to the brilliancy of the Elizabethan period in particular. It is also worthy of note that we intuitively refer to a great government or a great ship as ‘she.’ But there is one important truth which you cannet controvert.” Her eye warned him, and he hastened to add, “That is to say, an important truth which most people vould have difficulty in controverting. You annot deny that after the Garden of Eden was prepared, Adam Was the first to ap- Pear on the scene.” “Of course I cannot,” replied his wife, with lofty serenity. ‘You are obliged to concede that man Was to be found upon the earth before wo- man was.” “Certainly. It is precisely on the same principle that you expect your subordl- hates to be at workin the office before you get down there in the morning.” Sees It Made a Difference. From the Chicago Record, He had made something of a study of wonien. “Will you marry me,” he began, “No,” she interrupted promptly and with emphasis. “—to enable me to win a bet?” he went without noticing her interruption. m, well,” she said, hesitatingly, “I— er—how much is the bet?” Ss Unreasonable, Fiom the Detroit Free Press. Boarder—“This egg is not quite fresh, madam. Landlady—“Oh, cf course not. You peo- ple will be demanding next spring's chicken before another month.” she de- ing to make home sant, you know.” A Gentle Hint. From Up to-Date. DeQuill—“I have resolved to launch upon a literary career.” DeLush—“Glad to hear it. Of course, you know at every launching it is customary to crack a bottle of wine.” se Why He Dared. From Life. 4 She—“I think I might love you more if you were not so extravagant.” He—“It's my extravagant nature that makes me love you so. eee Reassuring. From the Chicago Tribune. “Papa, here's a thing that came through the faucet that looks like a tiny alligator.” “Is it alive eg “Yes, and it's wrigglin’ like everyihing.” “Then the water can't be sa terribly bad. Tell the cook she needn't boll it more whan half an hour now.” : rah een ae In Dakota. From Puck. Client—“Twenty-five dollars for procur- ing & divorce?” Lawyer—“Yes, madam; or we would make a two-years’ ‘contract to procure any divorces you may need during that time, not to exceed six, for one hundred dollars.” ——_—_+e- Something Similar. From the Indianapolis Journal. “Last night 1 dreamed I was dead,” said the drummer from Indianapolis. “And the heat woke you up?” the drum- mer hastened to ask. “Pretty much the same thing as what you imply. The brakeman was calling out “Chicago! ee Sealed. From the Detroit Jourval. She trembled. “My past,” she faltered, “is a sealed book.” tax He gladly offered her $75 per week. From the point of view of-att the next thing to a terrible past was a past that was a sealed book. —_-—++ ‘The Real. From the Detroit Journal. : “As I understand it, realistic art aims to call a spade a spade.” “Isn't the design rather to call pretty much everything @ spade?” To be sure, decay was but the harbinger precede of new life; chaos had often to cosmos; but that, it is submitted in all candor, is another story. 2 SOCIETY REPARTEE. Just a Bit of the Wit One Can:Find in the Social Swim. “ There are some peopie who love to point the finger of scorn at the brilltant_cot- versation. which illuminates the society cir- cle as is the “society circle,” and the same people have made -their inconsiderate and uncharitable remarks about repartee, until people who can izdulge in repartee do not do so for fear of the unkind criticism it will provoke. Still there are some bright minds which will flash and scintillate in spite of all the dampers and extinguishers that may be brought to bear upon them. Of such is the mind of a certain Wash- ington gisl who Is “real smart” despite her elevated social position. Several evenings ago she was having a cheerful Httle Cupidious colloquy in the conservatory with a naval Heutenant who probably has more heart than head and more invitations to dinner than saiary. After talking for a half hour or so he became slightly tropical in his tone and she hedged a bit. “Love comes: ike! a summer sigh,” he sighed and adjed,*7I’d like to know the difference between summer sighs and win- ter sighs."” > - “That's easy enough,” she said with a sense of relief, for she was rich enough to be afraid to be deft too long at the mercy of a Washington beau He looked at heras if he didn’t know what she was‘talking atout and she didn’t know either. 3 ts ~ “Oh, that’s all right,” she laughed gaily. “I know; the sammét sighs are larger than the winter siglts beeause heat-expands and cold contracts.” | «1 A few minufes later-the actual size of it occurred to him and he was so pléased with. her wit: that he would have asked her to be his wife, but it was everlastingly too late, for she hed noted the signs and given warning>to her chaperon. ee The Theater nas a Tencher. W. D. Howells in Harper's Weekly. The theater. has been called a school of mcrals, and the fact is not affected by the other fact that it is far oftener a school of immorals, It ts both one. and the other; but it is the fault, the shame, the crime of the state that the theater is ever a school of immorals, If in any pulpit were preached by mock- eries of purity and appeals to lubricity such as we are-used to in the theater; if-ly- ing were inculcated, and passion put above duty; if revenge were taught as something noble; if homicide were lightly invoked, and adultery treated as a comical afta’ somehow the law would reach that pulpit, although the state professes to have no relstioa with the church. In like manner, if in any private school or college the hu- manitics were imparted by a chair de- Voted to the study of those authors whose work befouls literature the law would somehow intervene to prevent the mis- chief, although the effect might be logically blamed as a socialistic meddling with pri- vate erterprise. The theate:, however, is left unmolested in almost any excess; ideas ere enected if not expressed there which are simply abominable. We all know; we can preve It at any time; ft is undeniable. — A Royal Grease Stain. From the Philedelphia Times. Sit John Brown, the great iron master of Sheffield, whose death has just taken place, owes his title to a visit paid by the Prince of Wales to Sheffield at the time when he held the position of master cutler and mayor of that great manufacturing city. On that occasion the prince stayed at Sir John's house, and while watching a game of billiards after dinner, happened to Jean his illustrious head against the wall, on which he left quite a large-sized grease stain. On Sir John’s attention being called to this afier tke prince's departure, he caused It to be covered with-glass and sur- rounded by a beautiful gold frame, while an inscription below: related in ultra-royal larguage that it was there that the head of England’s future king had rested. The Toom has often been redecorated and re- papered since, but no cne has ever been allowed to touch or remove that golden frame or the grease stair which it borders. And He Was Carromed Of. From the Boston Post. Traveler (at @ crowded hotel)—‘How much do 1 owe you? What's my bill?" Hotelkéeper—“Let’ me see} your room was—" Traveler—“I..didn't have any room. I slept on the billiard fable.” : Hotelkeeper—"Ah,., well, forty cents an hour.” Hin: Winning Suit From the Clevelatd Leaiter. Mrs. Kirllang—“And why do you think, Mr. Dunley, that the world is better aow and more beautiful ‘than it was thirty-five years ago?” 2 ne Mr. Dunley ¢who is after daughter)—Betausebecause not in it then.® ss Papa Kirtlan@'s oljections to the young man have beetr ovefridden. a ee her sweet you were Intéuigdnt and Sly. From Filegende Blatter, A MODERN ROMANCE. The Kind One May Discover in More Places Than He Thinks For. It is not necessary to be explicit in the location of the following brief society sketch. If any one of those who read it can lo- cate It he will not be writing to the paper to give it away. The man in the case was old and pro- foundly in love with a young, beautiful and fashionable woman. Whether she loved him in return is not said; it is enough to say that she per- mitted his attentions; nay, more, she en- couraged them. In fact, they were to be married. Is it necessary to state that he was rich? “My darting,” he said to her as he clasp- ed a magniticent bracelet of diamonds about her wrist, “I love you more than I can tell you.” He spoke the truth, too, for it is easy for an old man to love a young and beau- titul woman who smiles upon him. “Oh,” she laughed as she tapped him | playfully on his bald head, “you don’t have to. Money talks, you know. And the old man thought it was so very bright and funny that he stooped down and kissed her. oe es LEARNING AN INSTRUMENT. The Unceasing Toil of the Master of Music. Froni the St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Nor Fave many persons an adequate idea of the amount of labor bestowed by vir- tuosos in practicing upon their chosen in- struments before entering upon a public career’ as performers. When Liszt was learning the piano he practiced ten hours a day for over twelve years, and even then, such was the severity of training demanded by his masters, and so little did he think of Ms‘own powers, that, in a letter to a friend, he. wrote: despair of ever learning the pismo. The more I learn, the more there seems to be to learn, and I am ready to give up altogether.” Ole Bull spent over twenty years in almost constant practice @n the violin, and then modestly said: “It sdeme:a> me as though I were just begin- winiptte dearn.’” With Paganini, the violin ‘Wa6éi tad: sbudy of a lifetime. He had what is called a marvelous genius for the instru- menk; that is to say, he found exquisite pleasure in what many persons consider the drudgery of practicing. It is said that for ever twenty-five years he never allowed a day to pass without eight or ten hours spent in playing such exercises as would tend to improve his fingering and facility of execution. The playing of scales was, with him, a sort of passion; he would pass hours, violin in hand, running up and down the scales. If any one might be supposed to need no practicing it was Paganini, but his wonderful playing was the result of all this hard work. Rubinstein devoted over fifteen years to study and practice on his chosen instruments before he deemed him- self worthy to appear in public, and with Paderewski the piano Is the study of a life- time. It is said that every moment possi- ble is devoted to practice by this genius of the piano, whose attainments and facility of execution have astonished the musical world. His success is not the consequence of inspiration, but of hard work. The same statement is true of every virtuoso on any instrument, no matter what. Mozart, when learning the harpsichord, gave ten to twelve hours a day to the keyboard; Sebas- tian Bach was equally indefatigible at the clavichord and organ. Schumann declared he would rather play scales than eat! Haydn had to be forced from his instru- ment to take his meals. In each and every case success: was attained only after an amount of labor that, in any other calling, would probably have achieved equal or greater results. ——-+ e+ ——__ North Dakota Life and Customs. Letter to St. Louls Globe-Democrat. One of the marked features of life in this section: is the great popularity of out-door sports in the summer. The summers here are delightful, and they are spent in the open air. People go picnicking and to fairs and races and all sorts of games. There are no woods within sixteen miles of this village, and yet people gladly go in great crowds twenty miles to a picnic. Base ball, tennis and foot ball are very popular. The summer nights are very short, and one can in June play tennis until 9:15, and some- times later. Ice sports are popular in the winter.-~ Every village has its ice rink, where games on the ice are features, and where the great game of curling is played. The celebration of Fourth of July here last summer and every summer could not do otherwise than amaze the stranger. It must be admitted that far more attention 4s given to the races, which always accom- pany the day, than to the oration. But the chief odd feature of the day is the appedr- ance of the streets. As stated above, this town has no grove and few trees, none at all in the business streets. But the people are determined, and the evening before the “day we celebrate” wagons come from the timber twenty miles away, loaded with young saplings. These saplings are sold to the merchants and nailed to the side- walks all along the streets, thus giving the appearance of a street lined with young trees. Of course, these saplings wither be- fore the next day, but for that day the town Is filled with an aroma of the forest. ——_—-ee___ His Grip Name. From the Philadelphia Times, Mr. Smith, an English traveler, arrived one evening at a hotel in Austria. On the way he had picked up a smart German and hired him as a servant. In Austria every one staying at a hotel is obliged to register his name and occupation in a book, which is kept for police examination, so Mr. Smith told his servant Fritz to bring this book for him to write his name. “I have already registered, milor,” said Fritz, “as an English gentleman of in- dependent means.” “But I've never told you my name, so how do you know what it is?” “I copied it from milor’s portmanteau,” answered Fritz. “Why, it isn’t on my portmanteau,” cried Mr. Smith; “bring the book and let me see what you have put down.” The book. was brought, and Mr. Smith, to his amusement, discovered that his clever servant had described him as: “Monsieur Warranted Solid Leather Grip- Frym the New York Weekly. ig sister—“Dick, I wish you would go ang get Mr. Nicefellow a glass of water.” 'r. Nicefellow—Yes, my boy, and here's ime for you.” Little brother—“Thank you; I'll go pretty soon. Mamma said I shouldn't leave the parlor until she came back. ———— A Climatic Trait. From the Philadelphia North American. Michener—“Straws tell which way the wind 1s biowing. Oldpert (from Kansas)—“Out thar in our country houses, trees an’ hosses tell ther same tale.”” ———__-e-+____ Eggs at the Meeting. From the Chicago News. Gutle—“I hear that Spouter is not entirely responsible for the unfounded charges that he made. They say that the audience egged him on.” * Bill (reading in newspaper portion of an article on English composition)—“Did you see that, Jim? Long sentences are quite out of fashion. The short sentence is now the thin; Jim (ot wholly unfamiliar with prison interiors)}—‘Quite right, too. No sentence ought to be more than seven days.” A Shrinkage Somewhere. Tid-Bits. irs. Murphy—“Do you use condensed milk?” Mrs. Q’Fahey—“I think it must be con- densed. There is never more than a pint and a half to a quart. 3 —+o+___ Navigation Closed. From the Detrott Free Press. $ “Have you noticed that our two type- writer girls.don’t go out to luncheon any PHILANDER. JOHNSON Vindictive. Derringer Dan had declined all invita- tions te join his associates in the usval evening pastimes. It was a bitter cold night, and he sat close to the stove, reading 1! boriously, but with great interest. Pres ently he shut the book with a slam, and, gazing into the fire, exclaimed: “That's the way of it! As soon as a man gits fooled hisself, he ain't satisfied ter go ahead an’ play alone hand. He allus wants @ partner er two ter help ‘im along weth his notions. “That book must have had bad news in tt,” remarked Bron- cho Bob. “You seem excited. “No, I ain't excited. I was just meditatin® in a catm, philosophi- cal frame of mind over the fack that the next time anybody comes around here tryin’ to take up a collection for the heathen’ he'll have ter explain a lot and talk quitk. And when 1 come ter think of it a second time, I dun- no's it'll be worth while ter stop fur the explanation. I guess I'll go ahead in si- lence and tie a lasso under his arms.’ Then T'll take the other end and git on a pony and help him out of the ‘county wethout no cross words nor hard feelin’s.” “The last one that was here mighty smooth talker.” “Smooth? He sat down one day and spent twenty minutes tellin’ me about how them people in Africa didn't have no clothes ter their backs. He called my attention to my own red shirt, and told of their suf- ferin’ fur the want of such a common ne- cessity as that in a way ez brought tears ter my eyes. I tell ye, I don't know when I've been so stirred up as I was by his pic- ter of the miseries of life wethout no red shirts. Before I knowed it, he had got possession of two ounces of gold dust, three Mexican dollars and some confederate money that I was keepin’ as a relic. He said I was so interested in the subjeck that he'd give ‘me this book ter read.” “That was perlite in him, anyhow “It was mighty thoughtless. It jes’ turns the light around where I kin see through the backs of his cards. I don’t say ez how he didn’t mean honest; but I do say that I wisht I had my dust and my Mexican gollars back. This book is about Africa. Do you know what them fellers he wanted the red shirts fur ts doin’ now, while we're stickin’ jes’ ez next ter the stove ez we kin ter keep from freezin’? They're climbin frees an’ pickin’ palm-leaf fans ter help em keep cool. It’s so hot there all the year ‘round that. when a native finds a shady spot, he kin git rich rentin’ it out by turns ter the fest of the tribe. I hate ter lose my temper, but it riles me ter see so much energy directed wrong. What them heathen is wailin’ after ain't red shirts. It’s ice cream and linen dusters!” * Z * * Portry. by the Bulb: “It is a long time since I have burst into song,” writes the Bulbul of. Pohick, “owing to the fact that we all have gone into the chicking business, which do take a great deal of time until it gets well under way. But do not think, gentle reader, that you cannot tend chickings and have thoughts at the same time. ‘If I had not anything to do ex- cept to think and write down, day in and day out, I wouid most likely turn out a great deal more portry than what I do; but I think that mebbe it is all fur the best. Poems is not artificial products. Like eggs, they come in the natural course of events, and there is no use of trying to crowd the hen. The true poet always chooses the subjeck that is closest to hs or her heart, and therefore the title of this piece is: CHICKINGS. Oh, gentle two-legged animals, your feath- ers Protect you in all kinds of weathers. And though The chilly winds of winter blow, You do not care how much they do so, But let them go ahead and blow, And blow. Bounteous nature showers on you Her generosities the whole year through. She furnishes you with a covering rare With which, for beauty and durability, our Sunday clothes cannot compare. With graceful plumage your garb she was a trims, And tra born with ruffles around your imbs. Therefore, oh, chickings, look up and cease repining! Your lot 1s full of glee. Thou hast many reasons for declining To change places with such as me, as me, To change places with such as me. For you do not heed the seasons shifting, Nor the clouds which into a Iife are drift- ing. Though skies are bleak and branches tare, You get your board and lodging free and do not care. With me it ts a very different thing. When the snow has fell and the birds do not sing, And the mercury drops with great persist- ence, I think of my own sad, cold existence. So take this lesson and ponder it ove: . Do not trifle with the heart of a Zond true lover, Lest, like’me, you find your hopes all friz- ‘zen; ’ Me, who am no one’s and might have been is’n.”” * * * Minutely Explained. Mr. Dolan and Mr. Rafferty had sat for some time in silence before the kitchen stove, when the former remarked: “Talkin’ about foightin’, Rafferty- “Oi nivver said a word an the subject,” protested his neighbor. “No. But ye wor t'inkin’ about it. An’ whoile we're an the topic, what's yer opin- jon av the war in Cuba?” “There's no use o’ me tellin’ it,” was the reply, in tones of discouragement. “It’s changed twoice since day befoor yesterday, an it's loikely ty be altogether different agin be tomorry mornin’. “Thot's simply because yez don’t under- shtan’ the shtolle av warfare thot’s goin’ an,” responded Mr. Dolan with sage dig- nity. ‘‘What you want is a war wid print- ed programs, an’ music, an’ recitations in between, here an’ there, ty add ty the di- version. Don’t you worry about the in- surgents. 'Tain't the wans thot gets the papers the most toimes thot's likeliest ty get the decision, an’ be left in else happens ty be handy ty make the divoidin’ loine bechune the two armies, Now, the first thing he kr Zineral gits notice from the gov- er’mint that he’s if e ty lose J if he don't win a victory. Thin Woiler vexed says, discouraged loike therin’ Moike! “More work! What do people want fur their money?” “How mach does he get “Oh, I dunno, exackly, But Ot don’t doubt thot a good gineral thoi knows ‘is business kin hov shteady work at eight or tin dol- lars a day.” “Be the powers, it’s a fine thrade!” “Thin he goes out wid ls army. As soon as they see ‘im comin’ the insurgents get over an their own soide av the trocha, not havin’ any rasons fur takin’ risks ‘agin superior numbers. Thin the Spannards shteps first wan fut and thin the other over the trocha, an’ thin they say "hooroo, yes an spaipecns,’ only not very loud, an’ in a minute they're boick an the way ty town ez fasht as the horses ‘ll take ‘em. The nixt thing the Spannards do is ty pre- pare fur the cilibration av the victory. An’ whoile they're singin’ songs an’ tellin’ shtories an’ passin’ a dhrop now an’ thin, along comes the Cubans, who wor watch- ing’ em all the toime, moind yez, an’ takes po: ion av any troops an’ provisions an’ they kin lay their han'’s on. the Spannards is thot busy merry-mak- an’ pinnin’ medais an one another thot y niver know what happened till next amminition An w ne Cubans ¢ aid Raf- whoile the inim: their relaxation in the aventn’ “To be sure.” “Dolan, it's wrong. We ought ty sind ‘em a committee.” “But all’s fair tn war.” z “Oi don’t care. It’s a case fur a walkin’ delegate. It amounts ty the same ing as workin’ overtoime, an’ it sets a dane’rous ample.” * * * A Recollection, indeed a perfect day. ree recall the utumn calin and bl m mingled there together. Then melody made sweet the hours; ras a ballad. weeds were flowers, -d the salad. weat rocks were je When Mary dre No vernal scene whose blandishment Will welcomely beset us. Can have the fascination lent By that small sprig of lettuce. vainly must musicians toil lage or festal wagon, mes like those with which the off Came loitering from the fiaxon. Strange how these merchant-chemists mar Each once-alluring savor How tasteless is ‘the vin gar! How dull the pepper’s favor! Oftimes when s Those memories come pre That salad day; the sunshine Tae girl who made the dressing. “ok ~* Nataral Selection. ‘The old- colored 1, who stepped cau- tiously Into the depot, appeared to be dressed for an important occasion. His long broadcloth-coat was rather rusty, and his silk hat did not seem used to being brushed the right way. He’ stood just in- side the door, and, bending over, with his umbrella behind him, peered cautiously around through the spectacles which he had been polishing with great care. His manner seemed so diffident that one of the men employed in the place was moved to come to his assistance. “Anything we can do for you?” he in- quired. “Yassuh, I reckon dar is,” was the an- swer. “Is dis de place whah de kyahs stahts away f'um to whah dey’s gwine at?” “You mean, is this the place where the trains go out?” “Yassuh,” was the answer, with a grate- Where are you bound No place in purticklar. I jes’ wants ter travel.” “But you must have some destinetion!” I didn't know "bout dat. But mebbe de ol lady was posted an’ packed it up foh me. Dah’s er pow’ful sight 0° cel’ vittles an’ fixin’s in dat kyahpetbag.” “But where do you wish to go?” “Jes’ travelin’. 1 ain’ nebber been away f'um home. We done got some money saved up an’ de folks all ‘lowed dat I orter celebrate my birfday by takin’ er ‘scursion an’ seein’ de sights er dis great country. I's got twenty-foh dollars an’ eight cents. How much is half er dat?” “Twelve dollars and four cents. ‘I reckoned I'd git on de kyahs an’ travel dat much worf one way an’ den git He coi ductor ter staht me back foh de balance 0” de money.” “Haven't you ai you want to take "When do one go?” “There's a 9:30 train.” ‘An’ ef I doan git dat I reckons I'l! hafter wait tell termorrer.” “No. There are lots of trains; the 10:18 idea about the train train, the 11:25, the 11:50, the 12:15, the 1:03—" Dem all soun's good. But, honey,” and he leaned over confidentially, “dah's one ting Id like ter ax yer.” ‘What is it?” “Yoh see, dishere’s a kin’ er frolic foh me, an’, while yoh wus namin’ em over, it jes’ happened ter strike me. Yoh isn’t got er 7:11 train, is yer?” * x * A Moral Compromise. “Young man,” sald Senator Sorghum to the protege of whom he expects to make a successful politician, “I am afraid that you are drifting toward methods that do not invite the calcium glare of publicity.” “I don’t quite undersi<nd,” was the em- barvassed answer. “It seems to me that some of the plans you contemplate would cause you emba! rasement if you were called upon to cluci- date thelr details. “Well, senator, you're what they call a practical politician yourself.” “Exactly,” was the self-appreciative re- ply. “And as such I am prepared to dis- miss all considerations of sentiment and to acknowledge no criterion except success.” “Well, a good many men keep a few cards up their sleeves.” : “Certainly, my boy. And ‘the great mis- take they often make is to insist on ringing them into the game when they hold the winning hand anyhow. I have seen many a man spoil a straight flush of natural ability and courage for the sake of holding te pair of aces, in the way of ry. “That isn’t they way you talked some ime ago.’ “What did I say?” “You remarked, among other things, that every man has his price.” “H'm. That's one of the sentences which I suspect are often repeated because they sound. well and because nobody is able to way or the olher. Bur question is metaphysical Assuming that the propo- as well as epigcammatic; isi 5