Evening Star Newspaper, March 7, 1896, Page 14

THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, MARCH 7, 1896—TWENTY-FOUR PAGES. : “Thovgh the supreme court of Arkansas said Senator Berry of that state,“*has never passed upon the ques the legislature of the state has passed a joint resolution declaring that the proper pronunciation of is as if the name was spelled In the every one says and it is only outside of the the name is ever heard of with pronunciation, as in Kansas. There :d that the supreme court has of- declared this pronunciation to be the correct one, but such is not the fact. Original the name was Arkansa. Si io one of first writers on the held that the proper way to § name wi and his idea was adept 3 «i it has been h, as said f the termina- spelled with the before. is pronounced as tion was ‘aw’ instead of ‘a: ee ee Prof. 1 Condon of Gosion, who has | teen here for some weeks, recuperating his health, like many other Bost wants to introduce re ms in conn with e¢ucational matiers. In expianati of one reform which is very near to his heart he trying to get educ tiopal people int: ed in the extension of the multiplication » As you know, the ordinary child ¢ Itiplication able in one ef them . but they le n nians, tion p of an up to twe eee EE “One of *he sad things in our business, said an aucti “i i out the tents of boariing rumber of women who house without the whatever in the business, quently happens that th and it very fre- i. 7 that because there re a number of other women who make bearting at they can co s the rec art, ond in they = for them to di: scieree In keeping bh are ignorant. Their boarders find it out The result is that they have to give | nd we are cal eH them out.” din to s * ee 3 uphs we co. “The child: phot n, if Howse would but so far Mrs. Cleveland has -ver allowed a picture of them to be made for Of course she has had photos m her own 1 a for them to During the A - what he idren, Pres- of i thi ere, and the s * = © 4 “I think the patent t the hard times,” remarked a patent more than anything else. In- lenty as ever, but they to ec Up -to two years kept busy. but just now we have plenty of e time on < nds. The fact that hundred fssued nt has * ee ee “I was glad to see that the proprietor of ns on wheels’ was arrested said Mr. Frank Harding county, M1 “lo mtgomery county quite a number of fel busin of carting out our ¢ en: int a at least which now count tet e+ “Contrary to the general opinion,” Mr. Russell Stephens, of the Ia: fruit growers of th is the small fruit farms in whieh the best. The big fruit are very expensive to ma person about them hes are many leaks and weak poin transportation feature perhaps, more ortant than all things else combined, or uy for unless the fruit can be shipped, and properly shipped, there is no money in t busin In the end the big farms wiil pay, but al present the small growers have | the best of it, for they can handle all they raise. It is ES that you people in the e: » cents per pound or Tokay grapes, e glad to s ton, sire When out Hl them for from than one cent per ds and middle men d what is we such hish prices that he to buy all the fruit he money as to feel able xe Et One of the most interested persons tn the United Supreme Court room on Monday was a Is As Mr. Justice | Harlan began to read the opinion of the court in the Stanford case she was so anx- fous to hear very word of it that she stood up and leaned forward. The Star writer sat next to her. As the last words of the dee.sion were read affirming the ac- tion of the courts in California her fa: brightened up, and as she turned to leave the court room she remarkel “Thank d for that, for i news for He now I will tele: In exp Yr remark said ford Univer: to my the Stan- to be marriot about getting ided, for, er the Secre- se seeds for clerk of the “it will play no . for the rea- erable time to for distribution, ricultural D. sure with this y son that it, will take cc ed and arrange will is al- Teady tuo late for plant 2 of the Southern states and in » Where the work has already been he It will be all right for IS97, but as far as 1896 is 1 it is not in it, it matters h or what kind of a law will be + ke & & “The appearance of Col. James G. Berret as master of ceremonies at the Berret Public ool on Washington's birthday, observed an old citizen, “impressed upon me very forcibly how little we know and how silly we act at times. Only thirty- five years ago I was the chairman of a delegation of citizens who joined In a pro- test against the establishment of a public p to the twelve | do, what | hould » exiended, say up t fifty. easily, re, and would to the & tobe ly gi to fifty, as | w do these | y think | ¥ | by hookey, get | se, the con- | school at the corner of 14th and Q streets, where the Berret school now stands. I remember the argurnent I made before the ‘school board, and again before the ity councils of that day, in opposition to the location of the school. I not only argued that it was too far out in the country, but insisted that no man who heard me would ever see the city built out so far. I have lived to see how badly I was mistaken, and so have many who heard my foolish speech. Col. Berret told me then that I Was m‘staken, and that he was sure he would live to see public schools placed three miles further out on 14th street, and that there would be plenty of children to attend them. He was right and I was wrong. and I am glad to be able to say so, but, the Lord knows, I did not think so then.” x oe * KX The other afternoon a number of men were gathered on a corner near the Center Market indulging in war talk, when a seedy-looking individual with a seedier- looking rooster under his arm walked to- ward them. “Skuse me, gen'I'men, but I'm lookin’ fer somethink in your line,” he drawled ou: as he shambled up to the group. “I'm lookin’ fer a good hot scrap.” There was blood in his eye—blood of the real, gory kind—and the plumage of his rooster indi- cated a nature of the same aggressive stuff. The men addressed looked at the stranger in a perplexed though amused way; but there was no response. Then the country- man threw down his challenge. "Hl beta dollar an’ a half that my ster kiff lick anythink yer kin bring rd,” and he dropped his fighting stock on the pavement to strut about. “Think we carry chickens about in our pockets?” ventured one of the party, while | a grinning little street urchin called to his companions to “Git onto the hayseed.” ‘Ain't yer got ary chicken?” yc put myself in th’ rooster’ place an’ Eck any man in ther hull crowd fer the same price.” Then as he saw that none of them was in a hurry to take him up he added, “Or I kin take any two of yer duck-nerved tribe.” Several of the men turned slightly red, but none wanted the chance of a scrap with the farmer. The man with the hayseed in his hair and feathers on his chin waited patiently for an acceptance, but as he got none he bristled up. “Kin tne with me? But still the crowd was immovable. “Wall, I'll be gol darned, taik about yer patriitism. Ther ain't a speck in yer hull | durn set. What ‘ud the kentry do ef they wuz all like you? Yher I offers ter fite the hull crowd with the odds on yer side, an’, ain’t got nerve enough ter i hull crowd of yer do anythink take me up. And the old farmer turned on his heel and walked away in disgust. * x KE street car last night was witnes. a scene that made the passen- sers indignant. A boy was placed on the ear at the Peace monument, so much in- toxicated that he was insensible. The lit- | tle fellow did not look to he over ten age, certainly not over twelve nd yet he was hel sly drunk. h perfumed the whole car, his head hung limp upor his breast. He was uncenscious and no one with hin to take care of him. Where and how he had ob- tained the liquor could not be learned, but as I left the car the boy still slept with his head down. ——_—> A UNIQUE SETTLEMENT. On the 1th | How a Defendant Got Clear of a Pinin Case Against Him. W. A. Woolwine of Los Angeles, who was here in the interest of the San Pedro harbor project, formerly lived in Tennessce, and tells the following story of Judge D. M. Key, now retired: A mountaineer who seemed to be half witted was brought into court charged with mvonshinin: “Are you or not guilty?” asked the judge. “I don't know what yo" mean?” returned ‘ou or did you not make liquor ing license?” It’s good likker, jedg u know it was wrong Pap made it, an’ he wer a eacher.” as such a vacant look in the ‘s face that Judge Key believed him to idi Turning to the district at- don’t know what to do The man is evidently non il _yo", jedge,” suggested the posin’ we jess let this thing drap on both sides.” And the case was “drapped.” —_—_.__. The Stage Villain’s Apology. | From the Philadelphia Record. Does anybody know why the stage vil- lain always smokes cigarettes? Here's the true version, as told by the “heavy * | man” of one of the local stock companies. The gentleman in question is an in- veterate cigar smoker, and after the man- ner of his kind, cigarettes are very dis- asteful to him, as any cigarette fiend who | witnesses his performance can see. And | yet nearly every night he is obliged to saunter about the stage, pull a cigaretie from a silver case, and puff it while he concocts all sorts of villainous schemes. If you ask him why he deesn’t smoke | cigars he will tell you that ro proper:y an, how important the company may | be, will consent to supply cigars. Cigar- | ettes are much chezper, and the stage vil- lain who defies all traditions and smokes cigars always does so at his own expense. And is rather expensive, inasmuch as the villain of t drama usually wears a suit, is supposed to be plentifully with ill-gotten gains. and only three puffs at whatever he is smoking before throwing it away. Until property man volunteers to furnish we must be cortent with the cigar- ette- smoking stage villains. 0+ Sure of It. ‘rom Brooklyn Life. Mrs. Caskman—"Did you see the paint- ing Mr. Solidrocks bought—a genuine Ru- ben: Mr. Cashman—“It isn’t genuine.” hman—“Do you claim to be a ied Mr. Cashman—“I claim to be a judge of anythins Solidrocks buys in that line. He gets k every tim “T'm suah the count is an impostor.” “Oh! my goodness me, deah boy, don’t say “I wouldn't, doncherknow, but he just told me that when he married Miss Rolingold he imeant to make his home in America.""—Life. 'n HOTEL CORRIDORS C. BE. Barnes of Prescott, Ariz., is at the Normandie. “The President's veto of the school land lease bill is of very great interest to us,” he said, “and the more so because it looks as though it might lead toa renewal of the fight against the territorial officers. Before the appointment of Governor Hughes, charges were filed against him, but not- withstanding this, he was appointed and confirmed. Last June these charges were renewed, and other officials were impli- cated. No ection has been taken. The President did not object to the leasing of the school lands in Oklahoma under a law almost identical with the one asked for by Arizona, and it is thought that very pos- sibly the reason was that while he did not want to reopen.the Hughes case, he did not Want to add to the sources from which funds were derived for the reason that it might serve to increase the bitterness of the fight made against the officials.” R. D. Blakeley of Tahlequah, Indian ter- ritory, 1s at the Howard. Referring to matters in his section h2 said: “The In- dians, I think, will never be willing to hecome citizens of the United States. They know that while some would be greatly benefited, others would become paupers. It would be zn interesting subject of siudy to review the results of the gcvernment’s care of the Indians from a standpoint that I have never seen ft treated from, that cf paterndlism in government. In- dians as a rule are notoriously improvident and totally ignorant of business, and yet in all of the five tribes there is not a poor Indian, Every one is well off, owns’a furm and an income, and they are five nations without paupers. The government is their guardian, and while there is much said abcut faith not being kept with these wards of the nation, the fact remains that it pays well to be an Indian.” Judge C. R. Black, a well-known lawyer of Chicago, is at the Arlington, and when seen by a Star reporter had some urgent objections to make against the United States Supreme Court law library as at present constituted. “It is the only li- brary I ever saw,” he said, “without a catalogue. It is the largest and most complete law library In the United States, but actually those contained in ordinary law offices are more useful to the lawyers, and how the justices of the United States Supreme Court use it I do not know. The last catalogue is in 186%, and all of the publications for nearly thirty years are Without cataloguing. The room is too full —there is not space enough, and if the li- brarians were not gifted with a remarkable knowledge of the place it would be almost useless. Why it should be allowed to re- main without any means of ready reference to the great mass of books I don't see.” Col. H. G. Otis, editor of the Los Angeles Times, is at the Shoreham. Yesterday he took a trip to Antietam battlefield, upon which, at the time of the battle, Col. Ous led the extreme left of the federal troops. Speaking of his trip, he said: “I recognized the place as soon as I saw it. It is remark- able how little change there has been since the war. The same old stone fences that were there then are still standing, the trees appear to be almost as they were then, and the old church is there, al- though that has been remodeled and is somewhat different. My troops passed over # cornfield at the time of the fight, and that ground is a cornfield now. In fact, It looked as though the place had not chang- ed at all, and it scarcely needs the tablets put there by the government to give a per- fect comprehension. All of the natural monuments mentioned in history are un- disturbed.” “There are so many stories told of the sagacity of dogs,” said Albert Langworthy at the Cochran, “that it would seem that rothing new could be added to them. But I ence owned one that kept a perfect record of the days of the week, and*by a sharp trick succzeded in getting gwo days’ rest every aturday and Sunday: Our family lived in Peoria county, Illinois, and were Advent- ists, recognizing Saturday as the day of rest, while adjoining our settlement were people who observed Sunday. I had a collie named Dick, and, having sold my cattle, disposed of the dog to a man who observed the first day of the week. The first Saturday he was there Dick came to my hous tance of three miles, and spent the , returning the next morning. To his surprise, he found in that way he had two days of rest, during which the cattle were kept in the barn lot and needed no driving. After that every Saturday he came to me, never on any other day, but I could never keep him over Sun- day.” “The finest collection of temperance texts and precepts I ever saw is in a saloon in my town,” said Henry T. Tnompson of Iowa City, Iowa, at Willard’: “The pro- prietor of the saloon is the son of a very wealthy man in the east, who formerly traveled for his father. Whisky was his bane and finally at the close of one of sprees the father discharged him, sent him $10,000 In cash and told him that it was the t cent he would ever get. The son sober- ed up and ma:le up his mind to two things, that he would get back the money he had spent and he would discourage drunken- ness. He fitted up an elegant bar, over which was inscribed, “Wine is a mocker,” and elsewhere are mottoes, “ eth like a serpent and stingeth like an adder.” At one end of the room is a hand- some painting portraying with wonderful vividness the drunkard’s fate. Along the bar are inlaid the words, “A drunkard canrot enter the kingdom of heaven.” If a man is intoxicated he cannot buy a drink in the salcon at any pri and the saloon keeper claims to be doing a temperance work. Incidentally he has stopped drink- ing and is getting rich.” “Talking about favorite sons,” said John Cc. Taylor of Indianapolis at the Cochran, “reminds me of some talk I heard before I left home of the Indiana delegation being asked to vote for C. W. Fairbanks. The movement has not yet crystallized, and I could not say for publication that it will be done, but with ex-President Har- rison’s letter regarded as final there would be very little trouble, I think, in having Mr. Fairbanks’ name presented, and in case a dark horse is nominated he would stand as good a chance as any other man. By his own efforts he has arisen to the front rank/of the profession, and is strong with bnsiness and financial’men owing to the reputation he acquired for safety and conservatism during the years that he was gencral attorney for the Indiana, Bloom- ington and Western Railroad Company and confidential man of Austin Corbin. He has amassed a iarge private fortune. He has always taken en active and unselfish part in politics, was the choice of his party for United States Senator and is a magnetic man. If the favorite son idea becomes prevalent Indiana will put in the name of ©. W. Fairbanks.” HIS LEG IS PULLED. That is the Way a Southern Congress- man Regards His Lot. “Some people may think that a Congress- man saves a pile of money out of his sal- ary,” said a well-known southern Congress- man, who was talking to a Star reporter on the vicissitudes of running for office, and especially for Congress, “but a man has to be a small walking bank to accommodate the large number of his ‘friends’ and sup- porters who need a little money for some urgent matter. In my state we have to make campaigns and appear before the people at meetings. Well, I have never at- tended a meeting but that I did not hav some kind of a subscription poked into my face. Somebody wants something for a chureh and for missionary purposes or for felons, some fellow who has been burned out. “You can’t avold subscribing, and have to head the list with the largest sum. Then about the time you think you are through with having your lez pulled some lazy fel- low sill walk up and say: ‘How do, gineral? d ter quit my work ter come out and hear you terday, and I thunk yer mout giv’ me a dollar.” While you have the greatest con- tempt for. the man, you give him the dollar. “When you leave the meeting you are out anywhere from $20 to $0. These are just a few instances of what a candidate has to spend money for. After he sets through the campign and is-elected he has to fur- nish every dead beat from his dizirict who should happen to come to Washington with money. Ive actually given them money and railroad tickets to get home ai have them go back and work against m t last it bit- + ART AWD ARTISTS The mary art lovers who during the week have thrgnged to the Cosmos Club to see the exhibition of the Society of Washington Artists, have been especially interested in those pictures which received awards, and seemed to give their hearty approbation tp nthe decision of the com- mittee. A jur&ipf five, Dr. Swan M. Bur- nett and Mr. Bernard Green of the board of managers of the Cosmos Club, and Messrs. S. H, Kauffmann, F. B. McGuire of its art committee, and J. M. Bonham of the general membership, was appointed by the board of”managers to purchase one picture for the club, and to decide on sev- eral others to recelve honorable mention. The members of the jury came to an un- derstanding on Monday evening, and the next morning cards were placed on the fertunate canvases. “Gloucester Moor,” by Max Weyl, was the picture purchased to adorn the club rooms, and it is sure to be a source of constant pleasure to the members. Four pictures were awarded honorable Mention, In Carl Weller’s ad- mirable landscape called “After the Rain,” which received one of them, the middle distance is particularly good, and the en- semble presents a very true picture of the moist ground, with the clouds just breaking away. Another honorable men- tion was awarded to Miss Bertha E. Per- re’s “Harvest Time,” a delightful little lendscape in water color. Mr. 8. Jerome Unhl’s work was certainly deserving of an Kenorable mention, though many thought his Guardian of the Peace’ a stronger picture than his “Puritan Maiden,” which received the award. William H. Coffin’s Portrait of a Friend” also received a mention. As Mr. Coffin is a young man and has not exhibited before, his success is the more marked. é Though last year the club bought Miss Jane Bridgham Curtis’ “Princess,” no pub- lie prize has been offered hefore. The pur- chase of a picture and other awards will undoubtedly have a stimulating effect on the artists, and it is to be hoped that it will be continued. ae The exhibition of Wm. :<T. Smediey's draw- ings at Fischer's will give place on Monday to Mr. E. C. Messer's annual exhibition. This promises to be, as in past years, a rare treat. and many have ben looking for- ward to it with Keen anticipation. * * * At the new Corcoran Art Gallery the roofing is now practically finished, and the meu are turning their attention to the in- terlor work. They have been laying the ‘heating pipes and doing a number of small Jobs necessary to put the building in shape for the plasterers. * ok The pupils of the Art Students’ League and a number of Its lay friends are getting up an entertainment, to be held at Rausch- er’s Hall on the 12th of March. It will censist in a series of tableaus, represent- ing pictures from “Life,” the intervals to be given over to various musical selec- tions. After the tavleaus the floor will be cleared for dancing. * Zee An exhibition of Lucien Powell's work will follow the exhibition of rare old prints, which closed this week at Heitmuller's gallery. Mr. Powell's water colors are well known, and will undoubtedly draw many Feople to the gallery. * Edwin Lamasure has been painting quite a number of landscapes with his usual fecility in water colcr. These are for the most part scenes in the vicinity of Wash- ington, but he is now planning to make a v:sit to Philadelphia, and expects to spend a short time making sketches about the Delaware rivei. As that region is already familar to him, and as he knows where the most picturesque spots are to be found, he will probably return with a mass of ma- | terial from which to paint many charming | landscapes. * “x The first of the annual banquets, which the Society of Washington Artists has de- cided to inaugurate, was, though originally intended to be held on the evening of var- nishing day, postponed one week, and is to be held this evening at Klotz's cafe. Quite a number will be present, as each member has the privilege of bringing a friend, and all will, with the aid of an appetizing din- ner and good fellowship, proceed to have a royal good time. * x * Prof. Andrews, director of the Corcoran Art School, has invited the several classes of that institution to visit the Walters gal- leries, as his guest, on Thursday of next week. These annual pilgrimages to Balti- moer, which Prof. Andrews inaugurated several years ago, are the sources alike of pleasure and profit to the partipants there- in, and he both deserves and receives full recognition of his thoughtful liberality. * * * An inieresting exhibition of water colors, for the most part landscapes, by C. F. Shuck, 1s now in the side gallery at Veer- heff's. The artist does all his work in the epen air, and is particularly fond of the delicate green effects of early spring. Many of the scenes are wood interiors and views taken along the banks of some of the quiet New England rivers. An exhibition of 7 tographs of old masters will succeed Gutherz's picture, ‘Lux Incarnations, the main gallery. * * * Two pieces of still-life that have been much admired at the Cosmos exhibition are from the brusk of Miss Nellie T. Stafford, who is particularly successful in that Ine. #e A full-length portrait of Gen. U. S. Grant is now being exhibited in the Corcoran Gal- lery by the artist, A. Muller Ury. It shows the great general standing bareheaded out- side his tent in the early morning, holding a field glass in one hand ard a half un- folded map in the other. It was on exhibi- tion for three weeks in New York, and at- tracted considerable attention. A view of Washington from the roof of the Arlington, by Waiter Paris, was, a short time ago, placed on exhibition in the gallery. The view Is looking south toward the monu- ment, which looms up in the distance. —— Not to Re Forgotten, From the Covington (Ky.) Post. Nipper—“So poor old Soaksby is gone?” Proprietor Blue Light Saloon—‘Yes, he’s gcne, but not forgotten. For more’n a year I've given him a free drink every mornin’, and now he's left a will bequeathin’ his n.crnin’ drink to his brother.” —_——_-+ee. Foreseen. From the Chictgo ‘Fribune. Jeweler—“You wish ‘From George to Laura’ engraved ‘on the inside of the ring? All right. Shall J-er—cut the ‘Laura’ the sime depth as thé ‘George?’ ” The Young Mami (glaring at him)—‘Yes, sir. I can afford to buy new rings when L need them, sir.” oo Impressions at a One-Man Show. From St. Paul s. Pater—“Yes; clever, especi it's all about the undoubtediy ly this one—you can see what | SEEDS THAT CAME UP Mr. Theophilus Jones is a familiar figure aout the Capitol, but while I understood that he had a claim before Congress never became personally acquainted with him un- til recently. He met me in a corridor of the Capitol last week and, approaching in a cautious manner, said: “The unholy business is to begin again.” “Which unholy business?” I inquired. “Why, Congress is going to compel the Secretary of Agriculture to distribute some more seeds,” he replied. “‘Do you see me, sir, ragged and forlorn? It was seeds that did it, apd Congress hasn’t allowed my claim for damage yet. You know about my claim, of course.” I moved away, and he sald: “Wait a moment. I'd like to tell you some facts about House bill 1313, Forty- rinth Congress, for the relief of Theophilus Jones. I've got all the correspondence here, and if you'll sit down a minute I'll prove that I am right.” I took a seat between two pillars at the side of the passage as requested, and the sufferer related the following tale in an earnest, confidential manner: “In March of 1875 I wrote a letter to the Department of Agriculture, asking for sceds. ‘his would appear to be a harmless thing, but the iconoclastic reconducibility of the then existing form of government laid its hold upon me and brought me to ay spperene condition of inferiorness of al- ude.”” The language of the speaker seemed ob- scure and intemperate and he appeared to be excited. It was unwise to irritate further, however, by attempting to leave just at that time, and he proceeded: “A copy of that letter is now in my pos- session in this package, I asked for some Barden seeds and grass seed. Mark the words, garden seeds and grass seed. I did not, and I make the statement without mental reservation, I did not ask for any monstrosities and abnormalities of vegeta- Ie growth. The department about the end of the month sent me a large package. At the time I asked for those seeds I was a prosperous man, living in a small western town and owning a garden patch in the rear of my house and a yard in front. I told my wife that I would have that year a garden and yard to be proud of, and ees would be the envy of all the neigh- rs. “So I planted the seeds in the garden, al- so the contents of the package marked “The Pride of Moorland Grass Seed” in the front yard. The package had a request printed on its back, asking me to report results to the department. I was willing to accommodate the government in a little thing like that, and awaited for an opportunity to tell it about the grass seed. As you will see by this note made twelve days later, the yard at that ime appeared to be breaking out in spots. Up to that time I was a happy man, and the salubrity of concomitant re- caticoination of antheridium had not made ils appearance in my life. “These spots I refer to broke out, as I said, about the 12th of April. The ground heaved up in pimples, and folks began to ask me did my yard have the hwes. Things went on that way for some time, until some white things like ostrich eggs commenced to peep out of the pimples. On April 24 a man asked me what kind of bald-headed foliage was I trying to cultf- vate, and they put me in jail for three days. On the 27th, when I was released, the things had enlarged to some extent, and I wrote a letter to the Department of Agriculture, asking for compensation for the time spent in jail, and also informa- tion about the plants. “The department replied in this letter, as you can see, that, owing to an insufficient appropriation, they could not give me the money asked for, and that the scientist of the establishment was of the opinion that my plants were anamolous angio: and appeared to be sui gen . partment also advised me to let them grow in the interest of science, and make a further report. This reply was more dele- terious in its character than I had ex- and I dug up the plants, I told the rtment in a sharp letter that I was not going to raise any sui generises for it or anybgdy else. I can prove all this to the satisfaction of any committee. “Although I dug up the plants one day, they would grow up again during the night, and the same old white monstros!- ties would be there again in the morning. “Finding that the plants reappeared each night, I decided to let them alone awhile, and see what would happen. About a week after I reached this decision they had at- tained a_height of fifteen inches, and smelled like a glue factory. I then bought several books on botany, and after con- sulting scientists, began to swspect that the plants belonged to the order of hymen- omycetes. That, however, did not prevent them from smelling like a glue factory, as I said before, and I began digging them up again. This I continued to do for the rest of the summer, meanwhile continuing my correspondence*with the department. This I considered the most unmerited infliction of detrimental laboriousness ever put upon any individual, and I so informed the de- partment. “Finally, the whole dastardly consy was reveaied in a letter which I r ived, from the department in September, which ; stated that, ‘through a clerical error, were. sent some seeds of a new mushroom from Central Africa, pac sawdust. ou of d in It was the purpose of this de- partment to conduct experiments looking to the availability of this plant for the markets of the United States. You evi- dently sowed the sawdust and mushroom spawn under the impression that it was grass seed. While the department regrets that a mistake has been made, it is made clear by your correspondence that chis mushroom is not desirable as a vegetable for our markets, and the department will not make further experiments.’ “Then I had the Represeniative from my district introduce a bill in Congress for my relief, te recompense me for time and money spent in digging up those raush- rooms, which died, by the way, late in the fall. er BULLETS IN BATTL An Old Soldier Throws Out a Few Hints Concerning Shooting. The old soldier with a hot toddy before him was communicative and The Star re- ‘porter was listening with interest and ask- Ing questions to keep the ball rolling. “How did you feel when you went into your first fight?” he inquired, as most peo- ple do when they begin to ask a soldier questions about his experiences. “I felt like there were a million places in the world I'd rather be than where I then was,” was the frank response. “Were you afraid “Of course I was. I knew those fellows shooting at us weren't doing it for their health or for ours either, and I knew enough about guns to know that they were dangerov “But you overcame your fear as the fight progressed’ “Anyhow I didn’t mind it so much. After while I got mad, and then I forgot about myself and wanted to lick the entire army against us,” e “Did you ever get shot?” “Once oniy, and it was queer about that. You read stories in the pavers about how it feels to be shot, and I suppose they are for every man has a iifferent way of taking his cold lead. I've seen men shot square in the foreheads, stand for an in- stant as if turned into stone and then drop without ever bending a joint; some I've seen run screaming away and fall dead with the scream on their lips; I've seen some grab and clutch at themselves and spin around as if they had been hit with a club and didn’t know what the matt was; some drop quictly and say nothing about it; some jump nigh in the gir and fall stiff as pokers, and so on through a list of them, no two alike. “In my ,own © 1 #a: woods in ‘a skirmish in V ie hot day. lively fighting in the inia on a ter- there, I 5 srt thinking about m: £ all. d started on a run through an open space after the Johnnies, and just as we slowed down, when we saw they bad got too close to the main bedy for to go after them, I began to feel sick 1 weak and teld the man next to me that I thought I must be sunstruck. He began to say something and everything Ths next I knew I was in a ah through my ches! nen I got it or how I never knew, but nan couldn't that kind cf a ventila- Not Finieal. - am the Los Angeles (Cal.) Express. A coroner's jury found in the case cf a man kicked to death by a mule that he su fered death by being run over by a rai Toad trai The jury had no blanks about raule accidents. } ALKALI IKE AND HIS TOWN “That reminds me,” volunteered Alkali Ike, addressing collectively the little group of prominent citizens assembled in the real estate office of Col. Handy Polk, “of a cir- cumstance that sorter comes to my notice while I'm abidin’ down in the Panhandle country, some years back of—” “What was it you done?” interjected Ap- petite Bill, who held himself in high esteem as a wit, “that you had to leave thar?” “Nuthin’,” responded the virtuous Isaac. “I simply come away as a matter of senti- ment.” “Popular sentiment?” “Naw! This yere exodus of mine hain’t no compulsory git away; I hain’t that kind of a man! I’m hoppin’ out burcuz FE don’t yearn to linger. But when it comes to run- nin’ me out without my consent, I am yere to say that it requires a heap of expe- rience an’ the united efforts of a middlin’ large settlement to accomplish the good work. I remember, one time down yonder in Arizona, when—' “Let me see, Ike,” interrupted Dr. Slade, “I believe you started to tell us about an episcde in the Panhandle country?’ “That's so; much obiiged, Doc. Wal, in them days, I’m some younger an" endowed with a heap sight less tum-tum than at present, an’ amongst other things I gits myself sorter tangled up in a love affair, which, as I look bi at it through the dim visters of the years that have flown, as the poet would z't off, shows up to have had its amusin’ p'ints, though it hain't strikin’ me that way any to speak of at the time. Tell you how it was. Thar was a young lady, livin’ on her paw’s claim about three miles out from the settlement, by the name of Gladys Tiddicum, an’-— “Ho!” broke in the irrepressible and light-minded Appetite Bill. “Couldn't she—" “Yep,” interrupted Ike. “Thar was a’ number of things she could do for it. She might have married me, f'r instance, or taken the name of any marriageabie felier in the county, if it hadn't been for one thing, which was her dad. Pretty girls is plenty, every place an’ all times of the year—all women folks is pretty to the man who had a good mother—but I rise to say that, outside of the advertisements of tooth powders an’ sech luxuries, I hain't never seen a female face that could set in the game with Gladys Tiddicum. | “She is jest the proper height an’ the reg- ulation width, an’ her hair—wal, gentle- men, it’s curly like these yere little wig- gles you see on grape vines, an’ yailer sim- ilar to scrambled egy: Them eyes of her'n is as blue as—er—er—a right new flannel shirt, an’ soft an’ meltin’ ull you can’t rest. An’ them nose—I mean, that no: * t to the focus,” interjected Appetite Bill, irreverently. Aw, wel, thar wasn't a thing about Gladys that anybody could object to but her dad. He was a sight—old man Tiddi- cum vas—any way you tcok notice of him. Looked a heap Ik the newspayer pictures of President Kruger of che Transvaal re- public, an’ he was queerer than an old blue goose. He said that he hadn't a shad- der af ebjecuon to the girl’s gittin’ mar- ried if she wanted to, purvidin’ it was to the right kind of a man. But his way of discoverin’ the proper pattern of a son-in- law was some quaint. “He didn’t make inquiri didate’s financial standin’ at night investigatin’ his character. He simply felt of the young feller’s head and based his judgment on the shape of it. Old man Tiddicum was a phrenolog or thought he was, which amounted to the same thing—an’ when a cardidate for Gladys’ hand put in an appearance her dad hopped cn to him en’ felt bumps, an if the style of the young feller’s head didn’t meet with th= old man’s indorsement, that as as far as he ever got on ihe road to Liss. I don't reckon Paw Tiddicum was a phrenologist to hurt—likely enough wh he didn’t know about it would have filled a heap bigger book than what he did know— but what he caid went, an’ tar was no jerk back from hi “His idee was t me as ¥ Fobbin’, an’ ort to be done on business principles, an’ he made oration that if he caught young buck pesticatin’ around hi a before submjttin’ to the ceremony of lay:n on of hands, or afterward without his in- dorsement, he'd shoot him so full of holes pelt wouldn't hoid corn shucks. the old man was middlin’ expert gun, an’ you can't git quick an’ a maiden’s father without sorter in’ her agin you, that thar law of n *pearei to be entirely constitutional. “T hain’t never known what special forma- tions the old man demanded in the cam date’s skull I reckon he knowed, bim- self. Tenn s ticular an’ dy h idates got past the old man's gill ee ine Ret place, 2a? up to the tiny ain't none of the But she was—that as often a: yard old man Tite ek toward the se 4 with tum t I'm trainin’, them the na thick an’ ith a feller me an’ him This yere Nip an’ consileradle He gits so’s he «ain't eat which I hain’t ne worse alongs tow after a while Nip decides to do and dare, = gin the old man. it were, an’ run up " he hates how-down an’ run hope knocked out like snakes to ¢ the risk of havin’ his : from under him. But, bime! he gits his hair clipperd to the skin, to give his head an even start with the old man, an’ I rides out with him. = “We mutually agrees that it's a square rattle for him to take the first turn, an’ if he flumps I'm to try it next. If he's settin’ in luck I'm to be his right bower at the en- suin’ weddin’. “So far, so good. The oll maa comes down to the gate when we ride up. Thar hain't much powwow; the whole business is so old to Paw Tiddicum that he’s got it reduced to a system, an’ it's so new to Nip that he’s got himself reduced to the goblin’ p'int. In two minutes they are at it; I'm settin’ cn ss an’ holdin’ Nip's. Nip has his hat the old, man is standin’ behind him on’a little box’that he keeps for that pur- pose, with his pipe in his mouth an’ his spec- tacles on his nose, solemnly pawin’ Nip's skull over like it’s a watermelon he is aimin’ to plug eventually. “The beautiful Gladys is settin’ up on the poreh of the house carmly fanain’ herself lookin’ as unconcerned as if it is an day matter an’ so charmin’ that I'm powerful tempted to shoot up both her ded ip an’ pack her right off with me, t’s plenty plain that head hain't no chestnut, for the old ates it with interest an’ respect, an’ m a dis- covery now an’ then that draws from him a grunt of satisfaction or disapproval. To a mere passerby I reckon it would have ap- ared right hilarious to have secn poor Nip smoked his pipe out the bumps on his head an’ chuckled an’ rted alternate, Mr. Tiddicum swarms down sharpens a stick an’ draws a phrenological head on a bare round, an’ favors us with a an’ profitable lecture tharon, indicatin’ Pints of interest with his stick. M while, poor Nip stands with his hat the blazin’ July sun pourin’ do fury on his en head till it is tered. When the lecture is done the old an mounts his box again an’ begins to he 3 amps some more. sorbed that h mouth an’ poor > nk that the s p's head. The victim yashine is gittin® " bears i ilar to a martyr “The old m without notic! to roll up, off an’ new place, smoke begins for blows the coals to bis prey in a or at last, an’ the sigh of d head, Mr. Britt,’ says ad — “*But not quite ¢ concludes the old man. enough.” “That settles it, an’ Nip sneaks out to his h today, Mr. Tiddicum,’ says I, somewhat hasty. ‘I hain’t feelin’ as weil as I was.’ “As I rides back to town beside poor, discouraged Nip, I makes up my mind that I hain’t goin’ back to Tiddicum’s no more, sirl or no girl; it’s too tryin’ on the nerves. If I'd had serse enough to stick to my resolution I'd have retained my self re- spect, anyhow. But next day, when I meets up with Nip, I'm impelled to git gay an’ hooraw him till he whirls in an’ bends his gun over my fool head a few times, tharby raisin’ several unsightly knots on my dome. “This makes me plenty ashy, an’ I sets right out for old man Tiddicum’s, deter- mined to show Nip Britt that I hain’t no sech kind of people as he is, an’ that the girl is mine for the takin’. “The old man welcomes me like a lonz lost son, mounts his little box an’ pounces on my head. Less than two minutes later, as I am engaged in gi+:in’ off my first grin, thinkin’ to myself that he hain’t encount- ered no every-day head, this time, he ut- ters a yell like an infuriated hyener, gives me a hoot in the middle of the back that slams me down on my face, an’ stampedes for the house. I picks myself up an’ hops tay hoss, some astonisned, an’ by this time yere comes the old man tearin’ out with his shotgi ““Git out! he roars. “Git out of yere, you infernal ripperbate!” ““Looky yere, sir. Tiddicum,” says I, sorter severe. ‘Don't you think you are actin’ Kinder danged funny about this thing, to say the least, an’—" ““Talk enough,’ he yelled. ‘Git, or I'll turn loose on you. i [But T hain't done nuthin’, an'— “<I don't know what you've done,’ he bellerea; “but I know wkat you are capable of doin’. T never saw sech a villainous an’ diabollycal head in my life. You counter- You hoss thief! You vampire! You Come around yere tryin’ to court my daughter. I've a notion to shoot you all to pieces for even lookin’ at her. at grave robber! You rake! You roo! You Ubbyteen! You—you varmint! Git out of my sight. Git out of the settlement. Git out of the county. By the jumpin’ Jimmy Judson, if 1 ever set eyes on you agin, I'll shoot you for fun. Git! “Also I got. the time I gits to the settlement it dawns upon me that I hain’t no call to linger in no sech an unap preciative community, an’ by sundown me an’ my hoss is industriously distributin’ h the heels p'inted in that di- “i s'pose I'm a hundred miles away be- fore I gits it through my und ndin that the whole trouble is caused by them Strange an’ staruin’ knots that Nip Britt Seeuigt my head when he bent his gun er —_~. «_ CULINARY HYPNOTISM. A Practical Phase of the } Great Va “Hypnotism,” remarked the professor te a Star reporter as they sat talking, “is one of the greatest blessings that humanity can be thankful for.” “I take issue with you there,” said the re. porter. “You may, and you may also take a drink with me,” and he rang the bell. “Just tha same, my dear sir, it is the greatest bless- ing to humanity. “The drink?” inquired the reporter, ‘9 guying,” frowned the professor. “I | Say hypnotism is the greatest bigssing, and IN prove it to you.” “Submit the evidence.” “Well, to begin with, my wife is one of the finest cooks in the city of Washington, and she is also possessed of hypnotic pow: er™ “What's that got to do with hypnotism? Does she hypnotize you into believing that her b ring. I tell you,” insisted the pro- . “As I said, my wife is the finest cook in Washington, and the average cook we hire is the worst. Not long ago we had a cook who was the stupidest we ever had, and one aight we had a dinner party, pecting to get the stuff from a eaterer, be- cause it wasn't poss'ble quite for my wife to cook the dinner and entertain her cuests 0. At the last moment the caterer failed us and we were in a most disagreeable pre- di t. I didn’t know what to do, and wy wife didn't; but women are great in an emergency, and after we had discussed ani rediscussed the dilemma in h we found ourselves—and it was then 4 o'clock, and the guests were expected at 6—my wite seemed to be strack with an idea Wait a minute.” said have discovered a cook. Amanda about it.’ Ananda was our culinary angel, and I thought if she went cook hunting it wouldn't amount to much, for she wouldn't know one if she saw it. In a few minutes my wife came back smiling. Well? I asked eagerly. ‘I think we are saved. ‘That's all she would s. perfect confidence in any tells me, TI didn't let m: better of me, but a she. ‘I think I T'll go out and sea she replied. and as T have hing my wif curiosity get ted the situatic told me to get cut of the and not come back till it was time to dress for dinner. At 5:30 I returned and found my wife radiant dinner?’ I inquired. t down to a bet- good as my mother vuld make it. and all of the guesis asked we found such a superior cook. I s to know myself, and whon my J it was Amanda for the first time in my life I doubted her word. It was true, though, and the way Amanda had done it was by hypnotic influence. My wife had gone into the kitchen and hypnotized Amanda, and willed that she should cook that dinner right, and Amanda did it.” looked incredulous. “Is the skillful Amanda still hypnotized?” he “{ don't know,” “When sh Everything as smiled the professor waked up next moraing sli med she must be hanted et 5 lidn’t stay to cook break- Just the same, hypnotism is a great emptied his glass, HUNG TO MUSIC. The Doomed Man Sang “I Want to Be an Angel” With the Crowd. “In the early days of Wyoming, when there were but few churches and many in- fractions of law, a man by the name of Bar- stow, who never knew fear, and was a de- Vout Christian, was elected to the office of sheriff, 4a citizen of that state to a Star reporter. “Soon after Barstow entered upon the duties of his office a man was convicted for a capital crime. “The fact that there was no minister with- in reach preyed upon the mind of the sheriff, who undertook to supply the lack by hold- ing an hour's Bible r = in the con- demned man's cell and praying with him, As the time for the hanging approached, rstow became possessed with the feat that he had not acquitted himself of the spiritual responsibility devolving upon him, and devised a program that was new and unique. After the victim to the law's man- date was placed upon the platform everything was in readin the sheriff prayed long and fervently. Then he called for scme or near the p knew and a man ast verse was sung the sheriff If adjusting the no. and im- n its conclusion the trap waa he Family Outing of Herr Beerdimptel; Or, Drinks for Everybody. \ SSS