Evening Star Newspaper, December 7, 1895, Page 23

EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 7, 1895—-TWENTY-FOUR PAGES. 23 There was a commoticn on a lith stre< car yesterday. An old gentleman, wh trimly cut whiskers, gold-bowed eyeglas and general abstracted lcok proclaimed him a scholar, sat between two ladies, who crowded him pretty closely. Suddenly he put his hand in his overcoat pocket and brow t forth a small breken box. He arose hastily and began a close search on the at, then on the floor. “I beg your pardon, madam,” he sald to the lady who sat by the side where the box had been, “will you kindly remove for a moment? I have lost my trained fleas.”" some feminine screams, and every passen- ger Immediately commenced to scratci satisfied that one cf the old gentleman's pets had taken refuge upon him. He had the whole seat vacant in about a minute, but none ef the fleas could be found, and he left the cur at New York avenue, with the polite request to the lady adam, !f you shou'd be so fertunate as to find my fleas about your clothing, I hope you will send them to me.”” ee KK A Star writer saw two men fighting near the Lo bridge. It was a desperate en- counter, lasting about half an hour, and both men were pretty badly brulsed be- fore one of them cried for quits. As soon as the‘ fight was over the men grasped hands wei mly, and the one who was worst ed said: ‘I'm glad you whipped me, Tom. I was afraid you never was going to, and I'm tired of fighting every year.” “Well, Bob, I was set on it ever since you whipped me ten years ago, and I said we would fight every year till I whipped you. Now I've done it, and I'm satisfied.” “You ought to be, because you've whipped me ten times,-end I've only whipped you ute ‘Then they repaired to the nearest saloon to ebrate the close cf the ten years’ feud. * * % * A neatly dressed man with the sole torn off of one shoe rang the bell of an L street hous ‘The lady came to the door. I bes your pardon, madam," the young man said, “bit I have come to Washing- ton to n a position promised me, and I was fortunate enough to get my foot fastened in a frog on the car track, and tore the sole completely off of my shoe. Have you a pair with which I can make a itable appearance when I am to work? enttrely out of money, whica would o ditference had it not been for this jent, as I could have got along until wages were paid.” n did you leave the lady. 1s never there.” you w You had exactly the game story, except that you had then lost your hat out of a car window, and one of my servants bougat the one I gave you at second-hand store. Then the door closeti, and the maa with Cincinnati?” in- the soleless shoe went to the corner and airformed his partner that they nad better work another nelghboravod. * * One of those who visited the Capitol last Monday when Congress met was a middle- aged lady whom no one seemed io know. She wore a dress that, despite its neatness, showed that it had long been her best, and the merks of age were plainly visible upon * * * it. Through a friend wno 1s a member of the present Congress she succeeded in ob- taining a good seat, and as the or i- ings went on her face lost the anxious, hungry ivok that first attracted me when I saw her. She forgot for a time the years that have passed since, as @ girl, she sat in the gallery and Mstoned to her father, who was then one of the most eloquent awrembers of the national legislature. He diel twenty years ago, and daughter gemoved to Richmond, where she has made @ precarious livelihood writing for the mag- azives. Sometimes a story is accepted and aid for; then hope is renewed within her, ut far oftener they are returned, accom- panled by those printed circulars worded with the utmost courtes but which read Uke death warrants to who fs watching for the postman’s daily round, that per- chance a check may come that will pay the grocer’s bill and give a new lease of life. As the ex-Congressman’s daughter watched the opening of the national legislature, the old-ttme sparkie came into her eyes and she a girl again, proud of the long line of ancestors who had made the famiiy name famous. Monday evening she returned to Richmond without having made herself Aknown to old friends in Washington. ee OK RK I was greatly interested in the candidacy of the “‘tighting chaplain” of Kansas, and his def-at, which was caused by the de- fection of his state deiegation from the “comin ticket. There was one thing tive about the Kansas minister. vv and honesty were charming. I ri a story about a remark of his that I think is true, and is good enough tx be true if it is not. There was a strong Movement for the election of a local min- and this came to the ears of the ‘the people of Washing- achers good salaries and ould want this $000 increase, I ut how sand can you afford to come accept It?" was asked. the ministe: preached in K; nd a suppl nington Is very from It is to be the quo when * * % I met old friend yesterday. He and.1 Went tos eth: and I used to envy the way he could work the most difficult mathematical problems. Mathematics and Philosophy were his strong points and my weak ones, Logarithms were absolutely ustless to me, and I was useless to the legarithm teacher except to make him earn his salary, while the day after I laboriously studied the principle of a lever I got rattled ani answered a question as to what a lever was by ving that he wrote novels in Ire- land. But my friend was an encyclopedia of knowledze, and when I saw him I in- stinctiv-ly felt glad, as I could use his in- formation without the trouble of visiting a Utrary. Much to my surprise, he wanted a position, and did not care much what it was, 60 that he received a sufficient salary to pay his boari. No one had equations he wanted solved, and h man was contented to be his own hilosopher, and did not care to employ one. questioned him at length, and discovered that there were two things he was ignorant about, and only two, human nature and business methods. Now I am trying to fig- out what is to be and what is wre: unfits a tra ion that King part in the actual of a working world. t sorry for an eld lady who sat with min the walting room of tha Chesa- e and Ohio depot y erday She was back ta her home in West Virg! six months’ visit to Washington. Down among the mountains of Logan county sn all alone, ker relations all dead ex on who lives In this city. Ste closed her cabin and came to Wash- ington to stay, but she was too old to get used to cit ys, and she had not been In her son’ use a Gay before she realized that the drcam of her life, to end her days With the pr rous man,whom she thought could not be realized. She 1 lying in bed, and at 5 o'clock in the morning felt that she must get up end stir around. This she found annoyel her soa and his wife, + tried to break th 3 of th ‘3 of a century, but it was tmpos. Then, too, a modern Louse worried he-, and she longed for the simple mountain cabin and the ways to Which sie was used. And she could not do Without her pipe In the evening, yet it hor- fifled her daughte tg. It aw to seo ger smok- cemed that there was not an hour ‘There were | 80me people who called on me Yester during which the habits and customs that d beccme part of her nature did not clash with the propr: and soon she though: it best to go back to her mountain cabin and live alone, and there some ‘lay, ot far distant in the future, she will be found by the side of her spiuning wheel, her soul gi who died 1} her, so that the mother. ne to Join those of her children “fore they grew away from could not understand their x ke Ke A recent sale at one of the legations, fashionably attended, was the scene of a little by-play which showed amusingly the power of money even in this Independent center. A very richly attired lady, a new arrival in the city, frem her conversation, and a well-known club man, wera the par- ticlpants in the following dialogue: First, the lady: “Oh, I'm so glad to see you, Mr. ——. I want to ask you about ay. A mother and two daughters named left cards, and I thought you colld tell me who they were ani if I should return their you say the name was?" mused the clu» man, questioringly. “Yes, I know who they are; very nice people, but not in society; don’t go in our set, you know; no money; don't give any functions, no. i wouldn't return the call if I were you.” A Representative from Minnesota was met on the street soon after his arrival here by a very spruce-looking man, who was formerly a resident of the same state, but who ts now living in Washington. He shook hands most cordially, was, in fact, most pleased to see him, m o than an office seeker. He invited the Congressman irto a gilded saloon to have a high-priced drink, made him smoke a high-priced cigar with him, and then reached down ,in his pocket, and, after feeling about for a while, began apologizing and saying that he had changed his trousers that morning and had no money. Without a word, the new meim- ber pald the bill and devarted. He now steers clear of the @ffusive Minnesota men who welcome him to Washington. xe ke Representative Eddy of Minnesota is the orly man ever elected to Congress from that state who was born there. He Is very patriotic, and before coming to Washing- ton he had a suit of clothes made from jhe wcol of sheep raised in the state an woven at the mills in his district. The suit also includes a cap. He had not been here more than twenty-four hours before he was waited upon by a genteel colored man, who desired to ve employed in brashing and taking care of his clothes. “Well,” said Mr. Eddy, slowly, “this Is the only suit I've get. I don't think I would look very nice walking along the street and you running along behind me brushing off the dust that might gather on this M.anesota woo! The would-be valet departed, and Mr. Fid:is heard him muttering down the stairs: “Dese new Congressers is de wuss I ever see. * ek OK OK OK Years ago when ex-Senator Pierce of North Dakota had just become ex-governor o¢ the ferritory he was employed by the St. Paul Pioneer Press to get up a Dakota edition. It proved a very costly experiment for the paper, and was discontinued after atime. Pierce bought good stuff wherever he could get ft, and paid some of the writ- ers very good salaries In ‘that way. On one occasion N. N. Tyner, a brother of ex-Post- master General Tyner, aul a prominent re- publican politician in’ tne territory, wrote a screed on Dakota politics. | Tyner was a candidate for Congress, and the ob- Ject of his letter was to show the inability of all other candidates. It was one of those sercastic and humorous productions which are so furay to read, and which make a man enemies forever if ha is known to be the author. It was a withering blast upon candidates, personal and disagreeable as a Lright man could make !t. It vas sent to Pierce, and he sent It on to the paper, and in order that the proper man should re- ceive his space rate for the matter in the office he wrote at the bottom of the story, “Credit to Tyner.” The intelligent editor ef the Dakota edition immediately write “N.N, Tyner" at the bottom of the story, and It was so printed. ‘The day the paper reached Fargo Tyner telegraphed Plerce, “You have raised h—I,” and took the next train for the Pacific coast, where he has since resided. * ee Ok A western Congressman, v:hile coming to Washington, was very much amused by hearing a number of men discussing the halr-breadth escapes they had been through. Finally his turn came for a story, and he bogan by telling that when he was hunting in 1856 in Minnesota the In- cians were very troublesome. He is young enough not to have been in existence at the date, but that did ndt matter. Far out on the prairie one day he was pursued py a band of Indians, who were gaining on him and his tired ‘hors2 at every minute. Finally he saw a hill, and made for it, thinking that if he could reach it and get on the other side ha might escape. He gained the summit just as the Indlans were getting within rifle shot, and, much to his dismay, there 3 nothing on the other side but a precipice Gown a sheer $00 feet. The story telier paused. “What did yor asked one of the | auditors. “How you get way?” “I didn't do anything; I didn’t get away. I was killed, there.” scaiped and buried right ek OK OK At a literary meeting held a short while since Du Maurier and his works as artist and writer were discussed by a circle of enth Une of the number, after de- claring that she could die happy If she had Leen able to write the opening chapters of “Peter Ibt or draw the picture of Trilby with “twin gray star” eyes, car- ried her admiration stiil further, and sald she thought Du Maurier happier in his afilictions than any man she ever heard of. ‘To be sure he 's losing the use of his eye! she said, “but while he had them he placed himself in an unoccupied niche as an artist, and now that they are failing him he kas with ease established himself in the one position he can best hold with- out them, for we have Homer and Milton to prove that literature Is the one pursuit that can be carried to its highest excellence without eyesight. “It is a practical advantage for a writer not to see too muc she wert on, “and maybe Du Maurler’s viewless gaze will open to the world more unseen vistas than would have been possible if he had seen all the mudholes and quagmires in which the French writers are floundering.” * ek “You must be on your good behavior this evening, George. for the minister Is to take dinner with vs," sald a Hyattsville lady te her worser half, as he got home from his office In the city Iast Thursday. “What have you for dinner?” querted the band. Well, I know he is fond of fish, so I bought quite a string of small river fish, and several larger ones from the dam.” “I'm not much at doing the honors when we have a minister at the table,” said George; ‘but I guess we can get through with it all right.” Half an hour later they were seated at the table, and a blessing had been asked by the minister. A little nervously, the head of the house began dishing out the vegeta- bies, and turning to the guest, said: “Will you have some of the little river fish or would you prefer some of the dam big fish? The warning kick under the table from his wife was unnecessary. He knew he had blundered, and cold beads of perspira- tion started out on his forehead. “I mean'—trying to repair the error— “will you try some of the dam river fish, or some of the big fish? Worse, and more of it! His daughter slyly pulled his coat tall, to bring him to his senses, “That is, would you like some of the river fish, or some of the other dam fish?” The deep carnation spreading over the good lady’s face didn’t mend matters a Dit, and with a gasp he plunged in once mora: “Ahem! Which of the dam fish do you brefer, anyway?" ANTE-XMAS THOUGHTS While we mortals have been fidgeting about, each in his own contracted circle, trying to keep warm in winter, cool in summer and fed at all seasons, the earth, on whose surface we live and move and have our being, and below whose surface we are finally tucked away out of sight and memory, has kept its dignified, silent yourse «round the sun, and Christmas— merry Christmas—is again at hand. But fs it a ‘merry’ Christmas to most of us? And if not, why not? Because of cares and sorrows, and misfortunes, you say. But did not those ancesteors of ours who invented ‘Merry Christmas"—did not they, tov, have their cares, and sorrows, and misfortunes? Assuredly they did, be- ing human; but perhaps those unlettered early Christians whom we pity ard deride because they lacked soap, and newspapers, and knew nothing about sanitary drainage and applied electricity and some other things that we think we know a great deal about, perhaps, I say, they had something we moderns plentifally Jack, and that is a robust, unquestioning faith that made religion a something to rejoice in with ex- ceeding great joy; to live for, to fight for, to die for, if need be, but always to rejoice. Christmas of Old. They might roister and revel, and quarrel, even on Christmas day,but unless old chron- iclers lie, the spirit of gladness and charity and brotherly love animated and pervaded everything. The poor were not gathered into public halls and feasted at arm’s length, as is the modern way, but on that blessed day which commemorates the birth of the Savior, the lowest kind might warm himself by the rich man’s fire and fill his shriveled veins with hot spiced ale and the juices of costly meats. Feuds were reconciled, prisoners set free, mercy, charity, brotherly love prevailed, and if only for one day, sure- ly _{t was something worth while. Fancy our forefathers and foremothers gotmg about just before Christmas with puckered brows and anxious scheming brains, and saying, as one hears now on every side: “Oh, dear; here's Christmas again!” Or when St is past, breathing sighs of relief and exclaiming frankly: ‘Thank heaven; it's over: Strange, that no sooner Go human beings get hold of a good thing than they go straight to work to spoil and pervert it. Strange, that the pretty.custom of exchanging little tokens of affection among friends and relieving the miseries of the poor and suffering, in Christ's names should have been made to become the bur- Gen thet it Is today. On the one hand, a multitude wondering what they are going to get. on the other. a multitude wondering how they are going to get it! The Hend of the Family. Pater familias is the worst sufferer. If one of these patient, willing martyrs could be induced to confess what Christmas, as it now is, brings upon him in the way of an- xiety and distress, what a tale of woe it would be! There is the wife and mother— something handsome in the way of furs, or Jewelry, or silver, to her. There are the grown "p sons and daughters, no less exact- ing i. _aeir desires. Then come the children and the grandchildren, and the modern child is not to be put off with Nuremberg toys, and dolls, and bags of candy. If Tommy’s Dieyele and Birdie’s watch are not forth- coming, or if they are not as costly as Dick's and Nell’s, who live next door, there is weep- ing and wailing and gnashing of teeth! And there are the servants, and the office em- ploy: and the public charities, and the church—poor old pater familias! The Mother's Cares. And mater familias is just as much to be pitied. Demands upon her time, strength and means are beyond ail reason. And her conscience is troubled, toe. She dces not want her husband to spend more than he can afford, and last year she made some very good resolutions concerning the future, but they are gone, with the snows of last winter, with the roses of last su! mer. Custom and precedent have got her in their grip, and she goes on doing and letting others do what reason and prudence condemn. — Rich gifts will be sent to rich friends (offset by skimpy gifts to poor relations, probably!), the young folks will be satisfied, outside demands liberally met, and after that, the deluge! The Needea Change. This is all wrong and everybody knows it. Then why not, each of us, help bring about the needed change? Let the fathers and mothers say to their children: We can- not gratify all your wishes without bring- ing ourselves into debt and trouble. Would you be the happier for receiving some costly trinkets if you knew that your fatLer must struggle for half a year after- ward to pay for them? Husbands, trust your wives with the true state of your business affairs! Fath- ers and mothers, take your children into your confidence! Not one wife in a thon- sand, and but few children, who would not be reasonable and considerate if they knew the true state of things. The man who lets his wife spend lavishly rather than tell her that he is financially embar- rassed thercby, the parents who indulge the extravagant wishes of their children rather than disappoint them, commit a great wrong—a wrong that works both ways. Advice to Young Women. And now a word to young girls who are “engaged, or expecting to be so. Will you not reflect that very few young men have large incomes, and are yet expected to spend money in social ways as freely as if they possessed fortunes? Think of the temptaiions thus presented to them. Pride, affection, dread of being called mean and selfish, all appeal strongly ‘to them, often drowning the voice of conscience. Prob- ably 1s many young men ere led on to ruin by a desire to please the “nice” girls of their acquaintance as by indulgence in cuarse dissipations. My de ris, you know to a dime what those gorgeous reses cost that Charlie or Harry sends you weekly. You kuow pe fectly well what the bast seats at the play or opera and the carriage going and com- ing cost. You know it has taken a week's salary to give you an evening's pleasure, yet you go on accep:ing and encouraging these attentions. At least, most of you do. I did hear of one young woman who not only refused an invitation to the opera from a young fellow who could ill afford it, but frankly told him the reason why! Of course he was terribly hurt and offended at first, but he got over [t, and how he ad- mired that girl afterward! To Prevent Evils. Now, will you not, dear girls, who mean ro evil, but merely want “a good time,” will you not ponder over these things and not permit the young men you know and like to run themselves into debt to procure you a pleasure? Thousands of men, old and young, are just now on the brink of doing something ruinously extravagant, if not dis- honorable, in the hope of winning your favor. Who would be most to blame if dis- grace overtook your lover—you, who had encouraged, or perhaps demanded, a gift it cost him his honor to procure, or the poor fellow, who dreaded more than anything in the world a frown on the face of the girl he adored? Think of it; if every one of us would re- solve to relieve those nearest and dearest to us from the feeling of obligation to ex- travagant outlay, what a load would be lifted from many a heart, now troubled and anxious! What a merry Christmas we would have! The True Christmas Spirit. Instead of worrying ourselves ill over present giving to a few people, let us—those of us who are able—throw open our houses, warmed and lighted up from basement to garret, throw them open to all our friends and acquaintances, rich and poor, old and young, distinguished and obscure, agreeable ard otherwise. And as a stimulus to the true Christmas spirit, read these lines of Thackeray, the genial, who understood Christmas if ever anybody did. Christmas is here! Winds whistle shrill, Tey and cnill; Little care wef Life fs but short— When we are gone, Tet them sing on "Round the old treet Kind bearts and true, Gentle and just, Peace to your dust! We sing ‘round the tree! Sorrows begone! Life and its Ills, Duns and their ‘bills, Bid we to flee. Come with the dawr, Blue-devil sprite— Leave us tonight, "Round the old tree! JULIA QCHAYER. SEEN AT THE CAPITOL ern q A new Congress: a@ivays brings new sights and new expptignces. One would think that after apeentury or so some- thing would repeat; Hself, and there would be fewer things to,galk; about, but though the same things ay@-dgne over and over again, each newcomneragives individuality to the act, so that @ftenall there is some- thing new under tafe ;sun—in Congress at least. It is alwayesape amusing sight’ to see the feminine epntingent of the newly elected statesmen weattng the honors of the hour, just befdre the order comes to clear the floor. They /are fond of going there and sitting ig te seats that their mankind may fill ifslucky in drawing. They do it with such an air, too. Of course they don’t go there much after the first week or two, for they soon learn that it is not considered the “smart” thing by women who have enjoyed a term or two of congressional honors. A very funny thing happened Monday. A nice Little woman, so crisply fresh and fashionable in at- tire as to give the impression that she was almost as new a wife as her husband was a Representative, sat on the floor of the House in one of the chairs in close proximity to that occupied by Speaker Reed last Congress, until the order came to clear the floor. Then she made her way to the members’ gallery, and with an air that Zenobia might have envied, flashed her special pass in the eyes of the doorkeeper, and made for the door despite the crush of women there who held similar passes. “The gallery is crowded, madam,” said the courteous custodian of that particu- Jar door. “But I want to go in! she returned in haughty surprise. “There isn't room for another sleeve in cits) gallery just now,” was the firm re- ply.” “But I am the wife of Representative So and So,” she remonstrated, “and if you don’t make room for me in there, I shall see that you lose your head tomorrow for this pleco of impertinence. My husband sald that there would be a seat specially reserved for me, and {f you have put some- tedy else in it you can just put her out.” The custodian stood firm, however, and when the little woman found that the others were laughirg at her, she went away in high dudgeon. The’ doorkeeper still wears his head. xe KKK If the House were to be benched instead of chaired, what in the world would the free-and-easy members do for something to put their feet upon? Oddly enough, too, the men who put aside. their dignity in that manner are eastern. members. The south- ern members like to dispose themselves on the sofas, or loll over. two or three chairs. Representative Tarsney is never happier than when he can-stretch out at full length, with a cigar in his mouth, on one of the lobby sofas, and with a good story teller to Keep him company. Mr. Bailey likes to rcse in that manner also. The western con- tingent are nervously energefic, and unless busy over papers at their desks, they stroll about with hands in their pockets. eRe eR Will the rule against smoking be ob- served during this Congress? Everybody knows that Speaker. Reed abjects most strenuously to smoking on the floor, and was never himself guilty of breaking the rule, although a user ‘of the weed. Cer- tainly the observance! of the rule would he good sanitary precatition, because nothing so soon fouls the’tir as stale tobacco smoke, and the bits of cigar stumps and ashes rise in an impalpable powder all day long to the injury of Mt yes, throat and lungs of those on the floor, ¥s well as thos= in the galleries. * * * * KK One of the laughable incidents of “open- ing” day occurred in the rotunda. It was crowded with “new” people, who were in- tent on seeing everything the first day. Among others were a new member and his pretty young wife. He was showing her the wonderful unfinished frieze and, plump litle body as she was, she nearly tipped herself over in trying to look up. “Here, Charley, stand at my back, so that I caf lean against you,” she said to her hus- band, and gave him a little push to the rear. As he moved bbedient to her wish- es, a friend greated Aim, and he turned to speak to him. The plump litue woman, rot knowing this, planted herself firmly: against some one in the rear, and gazed ull she was tired, then turned and caught the arm that was resting akimbo on the male creature's hip. 5 “Come on now and let's see that ‘six- tced Pete’ that they told us about at the house,” she said, cheerily, leaning on the ccmfortable arm, “Say,”’ she continued, “do you think you will draw your salary in time to get me the dress I want to wear to the New Year re¢éption at the White House? Of course, they will have one, and I want to look nice, you know.” | “Really, you know,” said the owner of | the arm, “i am afraid my wife would ob- ject to my buying a dress for a strange woman.” And then there was a scene and a hysterical wife looking for a husband whose back was not as handy as she had thought. kk OK OK x “Oh, dear! { am so disappointed,” eushed a fair creature, as tall’“Si Sullow the Salvacionist,” stepped forward to take the oath of office. “I did so hope he would wear a red shirt and thump his tambourine when things pleased him.” “He looks as though he could thump most anything that obstructed his way,"” murmured another fair dame, and then they all concluded that be was austerely picturesque-looking, a how. Two others who have the priv! of the floor will always attract atteation. One 13 Colonel Dick Blue, ngressm in-at- large for Kansas, whose gray locks nang se in a tangled mass of curls about his shoul- ders, and whose strongly marked face,with its heavy eyebrows, shows rugged dete: tnination and character, and the other is the rew chaplain, whose tall slender form is en- ly a thought less attenuated than that of I galls of Kansas, whom he strongly resem: bles, and who has a eommand of language searcely second to the ex-Sen@tor. a “No Man's Land” is what the northeast corner of the House ought to be called, for there are populists, republicans and demo- crats over there, and nobody seems to want to claim it; no one sits there if he can help it. Can it be possible that the members dislike It because it is so* close under the ladies’ gallery that they can neither see nor be seen by the fair sex? Ok OR Ck Ok Speaker Reed has a pretty taste in neck- ties and is fond of gazing into shop win- dows where they are displayed. He se2ms to be rather fonder of red than any other shade, and often wears a baby blue that !s singularly appropriate for his Infantile ex- pression at times. The tie that he wore cn Monday was blue, with small red spots, and he had evidently tied it himself. Ex- Speaker Crisp always wears a black string tle, and has never learned to tie a bow properly, so that je stands north by northeast most of ime, Allen of Mis- sissippi has laid a: is scarlet oriflamme neckgear, which wa$ such a nice match for his hair. The ci t between himself and Mr. Coombs of Rew York to bear the market on scarlet tes probably cx- plred when the la! Congress. General, to wear the most and there is not int man who seems ¢t¥, fistegard the niceties of dress. In fact, it 4g rather a dapper body, taker as a whole: Sunt care aoe Not Worth Mentioning. From Harper's Bazar.€: Mailed to return to am still continues t of neck fixings, Congress a single Violinist (proudly)—“The instrument I shall use at your house tomorrow evening, mein herr, is over two hundred years olt.” Parvenu—“‘Oh, neyer mind that. It is good enough. No one will know the dif- ference.” BITS FROM THE BY-WAYS A Reunion. T HE SILENT STEED, as the bicycle has Deen poetically term- ed, is the creature of a practical age and not one about which the romantic fancy loves to linger. It has the hurry-up spirit of the age. It suggests a time when people take their rec- reation at top-speed and on the shortest possible notice. Yet, the wheel has its love story, here in Washington. It is not much of a love story, but it is doing very well for a nerveless animal of steel. The lady resides in Georgetown and the young man on Capitol Hill, Their two hearts for some reason ceased to beat as one and each vowed that the other should henceforth be no more than a stranger. The miles of asphalt be- tween Georgetown and the Hill should di- vide them irrevocably. And the distance is not so trifling as it may at first seem, when it is remembered that the light snow which whitened the banks of the Eastern branch this week was not seen on the shores of Rock creek. Possibly it was to help her forget her young sorrow that she got a bicycle. One of the best places in the city for the novice is the space just in front of the Capitol. There may be executed all the incidental and accidental curves which at- tach to the early career of the cyclist. She went there one moonlight night and was beginning to feel well pleased with her progress when, against the disc of the full moon, loomed up another bicycle rider. She was anxious to be as exclusive as possible, but the wheel rushed from her companions and the black object materialized into a man, leaning over a wheel which he had just dismounted. The more she tried to avoid it the more powerfully was she drawn toward her victim. Her bicycle described one mad semi-circle after an other and then came the crash. She landed in the arms of the Georgetown young man, also a tyro with the bicycle, from whom she had meant to part forever. The excitement of the catas- trophe made her forget her anger, and she said, “Oh, George!” And he said, “Oh, Clara!” And the organist of a pretty, ivy-covered Georgetown church is keeping in practice with the Mendelssohn wedding march in the belief that it will come in handy very soon. The mystical and romantic aver that it was destiny; that the @ffinity between these two young souls was so pewerful that she rushed against her own will to meet him. But on the other hand, bicycle dealers say that a wheel has a trick of acting just that way in the hands of any beginner. * * x A Day Dream. Sioging in the twilight gray Came a memo Muttered melody and rhyme — Just a soag of summer-tune. Hef discerned and d Droned s drowsy hone Daisies th the spel Curt'sied to the sun and rain. tantly And the ericket chirped in glee At the ant’s stald industry And the cow bell’s low ref ‘Tinklod softly o'er the plain. Singing fn the twilight gray How our fond delusions stray How the pleasures once so d: Vanish when we view them near$ For, alas, T wake to find That the honey bee so kind Was the buzzing from afar Of a plodding trolley car. rickets"’—squcaky wheels, "tis the gong that peals! y that the ‘e undone Just when folks are having fan. * Ok A Natural Mistake. She 1s a very affable woman, and she would Invariably say the right thing at the right place if she were not near sighted. “I see,” she sald, as she entered the arawing room of her friend, “that you have caught the annual craze.” “To what do vou refer? “The r for chrysanthemums. And that one which you have tossed so care- lessly into the corner ts one of the biggest and most beauuful I ever saw. What an exquisitely cdd color!” “Yes,"" was the reply. “It's beautiful, and} I prize it very hiy. Only it isn’t a chrysanthemum. It's my skye-terrier tak- ing a nap.” * Oe He Resented the Query. His eye brightened and his step quicken- ed as he steered his course for the Eastern Dispensary, where medicines are distribut- ed to the poor. “I came here sick," he said to the man who met him at the door, with the other gentlemen who were desirous of seeing Con- gress assemble. “And I mus? confess, sah, that while yon have a most beautiful city, it doesn’t seem quite homelike.” “What can we do for you?” “I want my life saved.” he answered. “I don’t know this territory ve'y well, sah, ard yoh sing struck my drooping gaze like an oasis in the desert.” “Well, we've saved a good man here. What is the matter with you?” “The matter with me? Look here, young man, I'm f'um South Carlina. T ean here to sce Senatau Fen. Tillman take his seat, and I don’t mind remahkin’, by the way that tor Ben. Tillman can see farthe into public questions weth one eye, and that haif shet, than most men can’ with two. Iam not familiar with the etiquette which gove'ns the relations of gentlemen in yoh city; but I cannot refrain. from bringin’ to yoh attention the fact that in ‘ar’lina, if a gentleman goes into a ensury to have his life saved, it is not idered good fohm to ask what's the vith him.” Explana and apologies followed, and the gentleman's life was saved farther up the street. lives * * OK Christian Wishes. When I hang up my stockings, Oh, wouldn't T just laugh If I could be provided with Four legs like a giraffe! And when the turkey feast comes nigh As it 1s coming now, I can’t help wishing that I bad Hour stomachs, Uke/a'cow. * * The Bul-Bul of Pohick. Among the poetesses of the period one who should not be overlooked is a corres- pondent, a lady who proclaims herself “The Bul-bul of Po- hick.” She has two faculties which com- mend her as a lyric aspirant. She is brief and she 1s self-critic- al. Concerning her composition she says: “I have offen wrote portry and the piece 1 send here with is, to my thinking, the finest I have yet did. It is not a mear sen- shus fancy, but an immortal trooth. simply and therefore indellibly imprest. My latest portry is as follows: Oh, Belva Lockwood, she Rides on a tricycle. 4 And Speaker Reed you'll sometimes see Out on a bicycle, But Arthur P. Gorman, He Didn't get a thing this fall but an Icicle. * «* A Luxury of Travel. He had been standing on the curb stone for twenty minutes or more watching the cable cars ply up and down. His manners and attire both indicated that he had seen better days. He had surely not seen worse. The tatters in his coat told of excursions unhindered by barbed-wire fences, and the grease spots on his pantaloons betrayed an intimate acquaintance with the under mechanism of a freight car. After a mo- Highest of all in Leavening Power.—Latest U.S. Gov't Report Royal Baking Powder ABSOLUTELY PURE ment of indecision he crossed to the car tracks and hailed the gripman. Sap'n,” he said, “whut’s the price “Five cents a trip,” was the answer. “All righ he responded, tendering a silver coin. ‘Take yer nick out o’ this.” “Sit down. The conductor’ll get it. “Sit down in this car along with the mob? Not much. I'm goin’ in front an’ ride in the hammoc! The cars had started, and the man was hanging with one foot on the step. He kept a furtive eye on the conductor. “You must mean the fender,” said the gripman. “Christen it ez you please. There's where I wanter ride.” “Well, you can't. “But I've set my heart on it. the coweatcher of a locomotive, mest select place in the outfit.” “It can't be done. “Then we parts. I'm sorry ter lose ye, cos in the few blocks I've rode with ye ye’ve turned out ter be right good com- pany. But I can't ride with the wulgar herd thet wears musk an’ carries babies, when I might ez well be swingin’ in com- fort, smokin’ a cigar an’ viewin’ the unob- structed lan’scape. Besides, ye're the ‘leyenth feller thet’s refused me that berth today, an’ I ain't got much furder to go, nohow. He dropped off just as the conductor hed for his fare. ‘Don’t think I'm beatin’ ye," he shouted. f ye’ll let me ride in the hammock I'll pay double fare an’ go over the hull route with yer.” FPHILANDER JOHNSON. —__—.—__ POLITE SHERIFF. A Hanging That Was Conducted Un- der Rules of Society. fhe most polite man I ever kne said J. D. Ewans of Mississippi to a Star writer, “was a colored man down in my count He belonged before the war to Col. White, one of the most cultured and polished gentlemen in the south. During reconstruction days, Tom was elected sheriff, and the first year he held the of- fice a white man was sentenced to be hanged. I knew the doomed prisoner, and at his request was with him several hours a day for the last week of his life. “The sheriff came in the first time I was there, and, addressing the prisoner, said: *'Scuse me, Marster Bob. I jess come fur jess a little advice. Yo" see, we ain’ neither ob us as used ter ceremonious occasions ob dis kin’ an’ I jess wants ter know how yo' would like ter hab de gallows, facin’ de sun or de oder way¥é “The prisoner told him to have his face away from the sun. “Thank yo’, M Bob. I'll done hab it dat way. We don’ wan’ to make no ex- positions ob oursefs by not doin’ what is propah on sich events.” “Upon the next occasion, the sheriff came in: It’s against the rules.” Next to it's the re ‘Mars Bob, scuse me one moment, gem- man. I jess wants ter hab yo’ show me once mo’ how you done tie dat knot. Mos’ curiosest knot I eber seed." “Upon the morning of the fated day, as I went in, the sheriff had the doomed man's foot thrown over a chair and was blacking his boot, the other one having already been polished. ‘Mawnin’, sah,’ he said to me, ‘Mars Bob jess | gittin’ ready. I done borrered a suit an’ neck- tie from de cunnel an’ jess slickin’ ‘im up. Den I gits inter my own dress suit dat I had made a puppus, an’ Marse Bob, an’ ms, we gwine ter be de bes’ dressed ob anybed; “Arrayed in full evening dress, the con- victed man and the sheriff mounted the scaffold when the time came. ‘All right now, Mars Bob,’ said the sheriff, as he adjusted the cap. *’Scuse me, sah, jess a minute,’ and he touched the fatal spring.” PUT IN JAIL. An Attorney's Peculiar Predicament in a Mountain Justice Trial. “I was imprisoned in a stable once,” said a well-known atiorney to a Star writer. “I had been retained to recover a mule in a mountain county of North Car- olina. The mule had been taken from my client and I obtained a writ of replevin, under which the sheriff turned the animal over to me. He was placed in ai log stable until the case could be tried the next morning. Court convened about sun- rise, under a big oak tree, and the mule was sent for, but the brute had escaped and could rot be found. ‘ou’t will come to order,” said the jus- tice, ‘an’ es the critter is gone, the red- headed lawyer'll take his place, bein’ as he was the las’ one thet hed ‘im in charge.’ “The trial progressed and judgment was rendered in favor of my client for the mule, but in the absence of the property, the justice said: “‘The mule was wuth a hundred dollars, an’ as the lawyer let ‘im git away, I'll render judgment agin ‘im for a hundred dollars an’ costs, an’ the sheriff ‘ll imprison ‘im ‘till the cost are paid.” “Of course the proceedings were illegal, but as I did not have enough money in my pockets to pay the costs, I was lock- ed up in the log stable until I could send thirty miles over the mountains and get All day long I siaid in the im- jail, and as it grew dark my ihoushis Were not of a pleasant nature. Suddenly a nose stuck threw the chinks. It was the lost mule, and I have never been as glad to see any living creature,?as J 1 was to greet that long-eared representa- tive of the equine race. I succeeded in making the owner of the stable hear me, and in a few minutes the mule had taken my place in the stable.” ——.—__ THE DEVIL AND THE SEA, As Illustrated in the Case of a Man Expecting a Pension, I want to see the head man here,” sald a detcrmined-looking female at the pension office Friday morning, and she was directed te the commissioner's office. “I live down in Virginia,” she told the commissioner, “and four years ago I mar- ried a soldier, who came down there from New York. A little while ago his children by his first wife wrote to him that his pen- sion claim was atout to go through, and he'd better come horre.”” “Well,” questioned the commissioner, as the woman came to a pans ‘He went home. Last week I got a little worrted, and went up to his old home to sea him and his family, They had told him to just stay home until his pension claim got through, then he could go back to Virginia. Pretty tough, ain't 1t?” I hardly understand you, misstoner. “Why, all they want of him fs his pension. When h2 gets that—so they can get hold of it—then he may go. The idea of turning their poor, dear, old father away the min- vte they get hold of his pension money! Did you ever see anything so heartless and unnatural In all your born da: e “Such cases occasionally come to the sur- face in our office work,"”” was the answer, “Well, I want you to hold on to his pen- sion money until he comes back to me. then I can get hold of It. After that he can go where he pleases and be hanged to him!’ —_———.__ A NEW CANE. said the com- Theater Goers Will No Longer Have to Go Out Between Acis. A newly elected member of Congress from the west has a cane that will inaug- urate a fashion. It looks like an ordinary gold-headed cane, rather larger than is fashionable. But upon close acquaintance there are some peculiarities developed that will serve to make it very popular. By simply unscrewing the head a litue a tube about the size of a straw appears, and by placing this in the mouth and meditatively resting the lips against the head of the cane, all desire to go cut between the acts is taken away and the worst case of thirst that ever troubled a theatergoer can be appeased. It is probeble that the cane habit will develop into a fad with attend- ants at the theaters. —= HE HAD IT HIS WAY. A Case Where the Bad Man Was Not Panished. “A Star writer was one of a group in a hotel lobby the other evening, and a New York drummer had just finished a story on the old lines of virtue triumphing and the villain of the plot getting his just dues this side of the hot place, when a Ken- tucky republican, in Washington merely to announce that he was from a republican State, took the floor. : “That sort of thing,” he sald, “1s well enough in books and on the stage, and I am willing to agree that it happens in actual life, but not always. Let me cite an instance to the contrary.” There being no objection to the citation, the Kentuckian, after casting his eye over the company, proceeded: .., _Xears ago, in a southern town,” he said, there lived a pretty girl, with a lot of money, a combination nc man can deny the power of, and she had sweethearts ga- lore, but two of her devotees, one quite a reputable man, and the other quite as dis- reputable and after her more for her money than herself, led all the rest, and beth of them were nervy men and quick on the trigger. Any sensible person would have thought the girl would have decided very early as between the good and the bad, but every one knows women don’t do that way in matters of the heart. -“I will say for her, though, that her preferences were for the decent man, and he stood the best chance of winning among all of the contestants, His disreputable ade however, received more or less en- couragement, and he was m: a hot fight. So hot, in fact, that Secon two occasions the men had come to blows, and once, at least, pistols nad been drawn. The girl was foolish as other women hav under like circumstances and rathefoee position sh2 occupied and felt sede the lattered by the danzerous riv: pang and heart. are ee ed “One day, though, it culminated tragic- ally, and the girl dida’t regret it. that any- body ever heard her mention. it was in the afternoon of a pleasant da: and the two rivals met unexpectedly. just across the street from her house, and ¢ach on his way to call on her. The girl lived on a corner, and they were approaching from different streets, and almost butted into each other at the crossing. That was hardly the place lo have it out, but they were hot-blooded and young, and on the instant two men jumped hack from each other a few feet, two pistols few from ty-o hip pockets, two sharp reports rang out upon the air, and one man fell to the side- walk, dead. And it wasn't the bad man either, “On the contrary, it was the reputab! one, and there was a bullet hole elon through his forehead. The bad man’s shot had preceded the other just enough, and the decent man's pistol’ went off as he threw up his hands. Five minutes later the whole street was in an uproar, and the bad man was in custody. The other man was carried over to the girl's ho-tse, for it Was not known then that be was dead, and a physician was called. Half an hour later the dead body was removed to an un- dertaker’s, and that part of the tragedy Was over. During all the excitement, the sirl had not made her appearance, and as soon as tho air quieted a little a search was made for her, because it was known that she had been in the house shortly be- fore the shooting. “Her mother went directly to her room, and when she opened the door she saw her daughter sitting at the window, or rather leaning upon a flower shelf on the window sill, and her first thought was that the girl had seen the shooting and had fainted. She ran to her and lifted her up, and as she did so she found her face bloody -and the girl's body almost stiff. She Tan, Screaming, out, and when the doctor came he found a dead girl, with @ bullet hole in her head. Further examination showed a hole in the glass of the window, and the whole story was told. “The girl had been sitting there, and had no doubt seen the meeting of the two men, and the bullet from the killed man’s pistol had reached her there and ended her life at the same time the life of the man rhe would have married went out. OF course, it was self-defense in the case of the man who escaped his rival's bullet, and it was the rival's bullet which killed the girl, and the rival was beyond any earthly jurisdic- tion. The affair ended there, with nothing good in triumph, except a public sentiment which compelled the killer to stay away from the town for five or six years.” “Didn't he even meet a violent death or something like that?” inquired the drum- mer, thirsting for some trace of the usual in the tale. “No,” replied the Kentuckian, “not even that. His uncle died and left him a fine farm, and he found a very nice girl, who was willing to marry him.” The drummer sighed, and didn’t offer to cap the Kentuckian’s story with a better one. —_.___ RATHER EMBARRASSING. An Absent-Minded Minister Gets Him- self Into a Predicament, A well-known Washington minister told a good story to a representative of The Star. “In a country circuit in Virginia,” he sai, “it was the custom to wear week-Jay shoes and stockings to church because the dust would get them soiled. Sunday footgear was carried along in the hands of the wear- ers, and when the church was reached a change was effected. One of the ablest mintsters in the conference preached at the church, and being told of the custom and having some dist: to walk from where he was being enteriained, adopted the same method. One of the leading char- acteristics of the minister was his absent- minded: and thrusting his hosiery in his pocket he mounted the puipit. When in the middle of his discourse he drew out what he thought was his handkerchief, and after wiping his brow laid the article down on the pulpit, when to his dismey and the amusement of the congregation he discover- ed that it was the pair of extra socks that he had worn to church. He compicted his sermon, but it was the last time he ever con- formed to that particular custom of the country. ——— A MOURNFUL WHISTLE. The Engineer's Story of Loss of Life That It Commemorates, “Did you notice that peculiar whistle?” asked the section foreman who was re- turning to his home in Wilmington. There did not appear to be anything un- usual about it to the ear of The Star man, and he asked in what way it differed from other signals. “Well, it was made in an open part of the road, not near a town or crossing, and was sort of mournful. There is a story that goes with that whistle. Jim Watson, the engineer of this train, ever since the night his engine crushed out a life at that spot has made that signal when he goes by there. It was on a foggy night, as I have heard Jim say, and the headlight only showed a big white bank of mist which he uldn't see through. ‘He had an uneasy feeling like men have sometimes when something disastrous is foing to happen, and that made him un- usually alert. It was on a part of the road where the trains are scheduled up to a high rate of speed end Jim had her going at a lively pace. The feeling that there was something wrong could not be shaken off, and he cursed the fog that shut out the track ahead. “Suddenly a figure shot Into the light. Jim saw for an instant her eyes full of terror and then the train swept on with horrible persistence. “Jim slowed up and went back. He and the fireman threw what was left of the cow off the track. The owner of the an- imal afterward sued the company for dam- ages and Jim had to pay $28 for it. He never did ilke to part w: his money and the incident made such an impression on him that every time he passes the spot where the death occurred he biows a low, mournful whistle. ———__ Navigation Closed. Navigation in Lake Ontario is Closed, the Centuron, bound for Buffalo, being the last vessel to leave Fort William, Ont. She car- ries a large cargo of wheat.