Evening Star Newspaper, November 23, 1895, Page 17

THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1895-TWENTY-FOUR PAGES, 17 A MODERN PYGMALION BY GRANT ALLEN. , Repyright, 1895, by Bacheller, Jobnson & Bacheller.) “The celebrated statute of the Dying Gladiator,” said the butler, in his most impressive tone, “is a replica of that which was found at a place called Nemi, in Hitaly, in the sixteenth century, and which is now the chief gem of the Capitoline col- lection.” “Oh, indeed,” said the little curate. The butler delivered this valuable plece ef informaticn with the marked air of originality which always comes after the five hundredth repetition of a rote-learnt sentence. But the two Intelligent tourists in the gray tweed suits, to whom he spe- cially vouchsafed his learned discourse, seemed little interested in the Dying Gladi- They did not even spare a glance to ‘emarkable torso of the Wounded Da- clan,” nor to the “Nymph or Diana, from Hadriansville, near Tivoli.” “Hadrian's villa, I think you mean, mild curate, with the very clerical «: suggested. He was new from Oxford, doubt, the intelligent tourist supposed, and gtill retained faint traces of a classical edu- Ration. “I said Hadriansville,” the butler repeat- ed, with mixed asperity and dignity. His glance was withering. Had It really come Solid Gold. a a to this, then, that a ducal servant must stoop to bandy words with the unbeneticed clergy? The rest of the party stared hard, as in duty bound, at the Nymph ur Diana, look- ing askance, meanwhile, at the upstart curate, who had ventured to correct his magnificence, the butler. But the two in- tell'gent tourists, in gray tweed suits, were much more occupied just then hh the glass cases in the center, containing “the minor hovjects of virtue in crystal and jewellery collected by the late dook,” as the butler phrased it. “That's a handsome vase, anyway,” one intelligent tourist murmured =xpressively to the other, with a New “I wonder what he calls it? That,” the butler interposed, in his stateliest tone, the famous Forman Vawse frcm a Hoscan tomb, entirely cary- ed out of ore solid mass of the purest ham- ethyst.” The butler never by any chance dropped an H; he knew that to be vulgar; but whenever he wished to be most Impressive he gave an extra aspirate by way of dis- tinction to the most important word of the sentence In hand which happened to De destitute of one. The intelligent tourists glanced at one an- other silently. Their eyes met and then fell. The curate, watching them close, saw at once this meant business. “And those earrings,” he asked gently of his magniticence, the butler, unabashed by his previous rebuke in his thirst for infor- ration “What do you make of those bracelets and earring: “I don't make anything of them," erei, in a lofty tone. the it's not . But if you mean to ask what honorarium do ladies and gentlemen gen- fter me for supplying hinforma- » no,” the curate sald, sharply. “I don't mean that. I mean, what are they? What age and material? What sort of thing do you call them?” “Oh, 1 see,” the butler answered, a little prised at the curate’s unexpected tone. hat lot there's Etruscan.” old?” the little curate persist Solid gold," the butler replied. “Bought for two hundred pounds by his grace’: father.” And the inteil-gent tourists’ eyes met again with meaning. ‘They went through the rest of the gallery in much the same ¥ The little curate Kept an eye on several gold objects and several precious stones; and also did the tourists. As they left the long hall, with its vaulted roof, the fttle curate turned biandly to one of the Americans. “It seems almost dangerous,” he said, in a mild, small voice, “to keep so much valuable property lying about uncared for in what ig practically an unguarded museum.” “I guess the duke looks after ‘em well,” the intelligent tourist remarked, with a nonchalant air, as who should say it was none of his business. “Only a single watchman,” the curate re- plied; “so the butler tells me. And yet, the mere value of the gold and stones, as artl- cles of commerce, must be something con- siderab e."" “You bet!” the intelligent tourist Inter- jected, with a jerk. The little curate, smil- ing, looked him over critically. Strange folk, these westerners! Then they parted company. ‘The intelligent tourists were stopping at the Duke's Anns, in the village. Tourists often stopped there—especially Americans. Yeur son of the great republic dearly loves @ lord; the peerage diversifies English scenery in his ey the first things he wants to see when he crosses the water are the castles and country houses of our old nobility. That was why the two intelligent tourists, straight down from Hoxton, had come there a3 Americans. You're less like- ly to attract attention in that disguise, the western aceent being a common element of the situation. But, once arrived in their own sitting room a@t the snug little inn, the intelligent tour- ists ceased to talk any longer with a nasal twang; they dropped “you bet,” and didn't display the remotest desire to guess or to “Pm not afraid of the Stone woman.” calculate. On the contrary, they talked to- gether with a somewhat pronounced varte- ty of Cockney accent; for one of them was Joe Stokes, the famous crib cracker, while the cther was Maurice Miller, that cleverest of clever thieves, well known in the profes- as the Gentleman Burglar. e question is," Mr. Maurice Miller re- marked, in his casual way, stroking his chin reflectively, “which of us two is to go in after them tonight, and which of us is to wait on the terrace outside and keep an eye oa the watchmen?” * ‘I don't quite like the Job myself," Joe Stokes replied, lighting an exceilent ‘cigar, for he knew himself in tobacco. “I ain't superstitious, Mr. Miller, but I object to them stone women. y give me the cold shiv I don't so much mind ‘em in broad daylight, of course, standing there in row but alone at night, in that long, dark ga’ lery, they'd look sort of ghostlike, and dis tract a man’s attention from the work hi Was set upon. pw, you an’ me now, i bo use doing work Where your attention’s distracted.” Mr. Mauri even » Miller—he to his closest alw fr.,”" assoclates—smiled a compassionate smile. “You can object to sculpture if you like, Joe,” he said, with an air of superior culture; “you ain't been edu- cated up to it; but I have no such supersti- tions. I'm not afraid of the ‘stone women’ by day or by night. Fine work, that Di- ana!” For the Gentleman Burglar, having been once a lawyer’s clerk, rather prided himself upon his taste, and fancied he “knew a thing or two” about art and music. Joe Stokes, for his part, smoked and ruminated. “Well, you can be inner war- den,” he remarked, after a pause, making rings ‘with his smoke, “ard I'll keep an eye outside on the Charley. If you like stone women, I don’t want to interfere with any gentleman's tastes. But they give me the cold shivers, they do, standirg there all the time, as white as a corpse, and rolling their dead eyes at you. It’s them dead eyes that beats me. Ever seen Mary Anderson in ‘Pygmalion and Galatea,’ don’t they call the thing?” “Charming piece!” the Gentleman Burglar muttered. “Charming, charming, charm- ing!” Well, do you mind how the artis’ fellow as plays in that act makes one of these ‘ere stone gals; and, after he’s made her, he prays to the ‘eathen gods, and she comes suddenly to life, and -down she steps off “her pedestal? Now, if I was sent out on a job like that, in a big, bare gallery, and night time, too, among all them stone wo- men, I'd feel skeered, I know I would, that cne of them stone gals was going to step down from her perch lke that, and come in front of me, bothering.” “You pay a great tribute to Miss Ander- son's ‘acting,” the Gentleman Burglar re- torted, with his air of polite life. “It's the excellence of her art that made it so im- ress you.”” PisThat's just where It 13," Joe replted, nodding his head, acquiescent. ‘You sce a thing at the play, and It kind o” sinks in with you. It works on the e-motions. T never can look at a stone gal again with- out half expecting to See her bundle down and face me, callin’ out, ‘Joe Stokes! Joe Sto-kes!’ same as she'd used to call out, *Pig-may-lion! Pig-may-lion!” like a dyin’ duck, in the manner o’ speaking.” Mr. Maurice Miller’s lip curled. ‘This criti- cism seemed crude to him. ‘For a man who has been brought up among sculpture,” he answered, lightly, “statues have no such terrors. I'd take no more notice of them than the pictures on the wall. So, perhaps, I'd better manage this job myself. I noted the best things as we went through just now; and I won't waste any unnecessary time, of course, in looking for them in the cases.” Then he strolled to the window and gazed out across the street. There was a little vil- lage draper’s shop just opposite; and the harmless small curate in the pronounced hassock was standing by the counter, buy- ing some yards of white calico. ‘Local par- son,” the Gentleman Burglar reflected to himself, with a sneer, “buying stuff for his wife. Seems a soft-headed little chap; silly, sawney sort of smile; but got some good in- formation for me out of the butler this morning. Pretentious cad, that butler! What airs he did give himself!’ For theve'’s nothing your pretentious man more thor- oughly despises (in other people) than pre- tentiousness! It waz past 12 that night before the Gentle- man Burglar, accompanied by Joe Stokes, with a few needful tools, strolled noiselessly out of the ground floor parlor, whose low French windows, opening to the ground, ex- actly suited his purpose. In half an hour more, by the aid of his faithful and well- tried jimmy, he was standing in dim’ light in the m of the ducal sculpture gallery. He hardly youchsafed a glance at the “stone gals,” as his partner Joe so graphi- cally called them, but stole on, with cat-like tread and dark lantern veiled, to the case with the gold Etruscan jewelry. It was a pity, he thought to himself (as man of cul- ture), he would have to melt them down. Those jewels as they stood were worth thousands as antiquities, and the melting pot would reduce them in less than half an hour to a few hundred pounds’ worth of ordinary bullion. you mustn't be a sen- timentalist tf you want to crack cribs! Every profession imposes upon you its own special sacrifices. Business is business, and a few hundred pounds in your private pocket are better, after all, than any amount of time-honored Etruscan relics in a ducal mu- seum. So he stole on to the base of a Roman emperor's statue, just observing as he passed, by the dim light of his bull’s-eye, the Helping Himself, name on its pedestal, “Commodus in Hunt- ing Costume; from a villa near Tusculum.” ‘The case by its side contained the ‘“hob- jects of virtue" in gold and precious stones, which His Magnificence, the Butler, had so highly commended to them. Mr. Maurice Miller paused and examined the trinkets casually. With a light and rapid hand and a twist of his wire key he forced open the case and helped himself to the articles which he had noted that afternoon as most intrin- sically valuable. As he did so he looked up, and his eye caught that of the “Dying Gladiator.” The “Dying Gladiator's’ stony gaze seemed to be fixed on him intently. For a moment he started, remembering at that juncture Joe Stokes’ words, ‘They give me the cold shivers, standing there all the time, as white as a corpse, and rolling their dead eyes at you.” The Gentleman Burglar drew beck a pace and stared fixedly at the statue, turn- ing his light full upon it. The sta s eyes seemed to follow him steadfastly. Anybody who knew anything of the methods of 3-ulp: ture would have known at once why, but Mr. Maurice Miller did not. The “Dying Gladl- ator’s” eyes had the pupils deeply sur.k and cut in obliquely; and, according as the light falls upon them) such eyes seem (o roll end reflect it variously. The depth of the stcne looks as though illuminated from within mysteriously. With the concentrated rays of the dark lantern, the illusion was com- plete. For a second the Gentleman Burglar really half believed the statue was glaring at him. It was only for a second, however. Time, place and action, all were momentarily disconcerting. -You can’t help being nerv- ous when you're robbing a museum. Next minute he had walked boldly up to the Dying Gladiator, laid his hand with firm- ness on the cold marble limbs, put his ex- ploring little finger into the rolling eyeballs and satisfied himself thoroughly that the Gladiator was stone, and that his eyes were mere empty and hollowed-out sockets. The incident unnerved him, however. Joe Stokes’ words had exercised an unwontedly discomposing influence. Still, business Is business; and being a man of parts, he re- turned to it sedulously. He continued to pick out the objects that suited him best, and then glanced up casually once more toward the Nymph of Diana. Again he gave astart. The Nymph of Di tively smiling at him. Well she she had continued to smile—one might al- most say to simper—for near two thousand year Yet that stony smile threw him off his guard again. Alone in that vast foom, he approached the statue with hushed breath. Vague shadows from the sculpture floated huge over the ceiling as he moved his little lamp. ‘The silence seemed to hum. He almost longed to see those white limbs begin to move. The solitude and the stoni- ness were enough to appall him. } He touched the Diana. She was lifel as the Gladiator. Her » not holiowed out, but staring like death, were less. and yet, at the same time, more human than the other's. Her smile ‘was ghasily. He re- treated with a shudder. on, he laid down his lamp the base of the Commod Alarmed, yet ashamed of himse! ed out his handkerchief and wip: dalf unabie to go for a moment on he pull 4 his clam- my brow. As he did so, he felt sure ire Commodus drew a long breatn an? peered down at him scrutinizingly. He was so cer- tain of the fact that, for 9 moment, he did not even dare to look up. Then he iurned and gazed. And the Commodus, without moving a muscle of its stone face, gazed straight down with Its frankly human eyes, focused full upon him. Great heavens! these eyes were not stony ike the rest, but colored like life, and as he stared they followed him. For the first time in his career the Gen- tleman Burglar stood thers, rooted to the ground, in speechless horror. He could not move a limb. He could not cry or speak. He just gazed up with terrified eyes at the Commodus. And the Commodus, in return, gazed down at him, and broke into a hor- rid smile of triumph. He was sure it smiled—yes, ne saw it; heard it! Joe Stokes’ words had come true. The Commodus was peeping, down from its pedestal to accost va r In another second It had stepped down and faced him. Stony white, and still robed in its marble hunting costume, it stared him full in the eyes, as he had seen before now the statue on the stage step down und stare at Don Juan in the opera. He Was not superstitious, he had told Joe Stokes, and, indeed, it was commonly Stone of Flesh? said of Maurice Miller in the profession that “he feared neither God nor devil.” but, at that moment, his limbs shook un- der him with deadly terror, He hardly knew what he thought. He couldn't say whether the thing was stone or flesh. He only aware something te! The Roman in some dim way that ple Was happening. mperor laid his heavy hand on the Gentleman Burg oulder. Con- trary to expectation, the hand was not cold and stiff and stony, but soft like a human being’ The terrified burglar look- ed down with awe into the Roman emper- or's face—for Commodus was distinetly the sherter of the two—and saw the smile on it broaden. He remembered that face. Where had he seen it before? Then ull at once it dawned upon him. Betrayel! Betrayed! This was the little curate! The Roman emperor spoke out, not in very choice Ciceronian Latin, such as you expect from emperors, but with familiar words and in the British vernacular. “Mau- rice Mille I arrest you. Come along! You're my prisoner.” In a minute, the whole truth flashed across the Gentleman Hurglar’s enlightened mind. The little curate was a detectiv with violet-powdered face, and white cali- co Romin costume. He had stood there on the pedestal on purpose to catch him. But the curate was small, and Maurice Miller was strong, thev mi; fight for it stil! His hand sought his po The de- tective forestalled him. Ready! he cried aloud, seizing the Burglar’s right arm in an iron grip, and, in a second, the electric light blazed th on the ceiling, and four policemen, jumping out from an unseen door in the paneling, secured their prisoner, w it all!’ the little curate observed triumphantly, wiping away the vialet_pow- der, “Saw just hi he does it! Proof enough to connect him by circumstantial evidence with those three other cases we always sus} But my! How my joints ache! I ain't si down off that And the Ge , I can tell you, to come pedestal!” tleman ‘Burgar and Joe Stokes have d leisure since to reflect how the trick was done by that clever fellow, Spotterson, who — foilo' them down in disguise, and dogged them from Waterloo—during an enfi the duties of their profession of seven years’ duration. The end. © of a natural boy— boy with fteckled face, h forebend white “neath tangled bate And limbs devoid of grace. Whose feet toe in, while hi Whose knees are patebed all ways Who turns a5 red as a lobster when You gave him a word of praise. elbows fare; A boy who's born with an appetite; Who seks the pantry shelf this “plece’? with resounding emack— Who isn’t gune on biaself. »hitson Crusoe’? reading boy, pockets bu Who knows the ase of rod and gun And Where the brook trout 5] It’s true he'll sit In the easiest! With his hit oa his tousled head: ‘That bis hands and feet are every For youth mist ave room to spread. But he doesn’t dub his father “old man,”* r deny his mother's eall, Nor ridicile what bis elders ’say, Or think that he Knows it all. A rough and wholesome natural boy Of a good old-fashioned clay; God bless hn, if he’s still on earth, For he'll mike a man some day, —_——_+0+__. The Deepest Spot in the Ocean. W. J. L. Wharton in Nature. A deeper spot in the ocean than any yet krown has been recently found by her ma- jesty’s surveying ship Penguin. Unfortu- nately the observation was not complete, as a fault in the wire caused it to break when 4,900 fathoms had run out without bottom having been reached. Commander Balfour reports that this occurred in latitude 2% degrees 40 minutes south, longitude 175 degrees 10 minutes west, about sixty miles north of a sounding of 4,428 fathoms ob- tained by Capt. Aldrich in 1888. A previous attempt to reach bottom kad been foiled by a similar accident to the wire when 4,:00 fathoms had passed out, and the rising wind and sea prevented any further at- tempt at the time. As the deepest cast hitherto obtained is one of 4,655 fathoms, near Japan, it is at any rate certain that the depth of the position named is at least 245 fathoms greater. It Is to be hoped that before long a more successful attempt to find the actual depth will be made. See Electricity in Guns, From the Boston Herald. John F. Blake of New Haven has in- vented an apparatus for firing a rifle or shotgun by electricity. In the stock of the gun is put a dry electric battery, and the shell and the powder are placed In’ proper connection. The guns now used are not altered at all for the new purpose only -at the trigger. An arc is formed inside as most preferred either at the tail or the cen- ter of the bullet. The trigger when pulled completes the electric circuit, and the gun is fired. This will do away with the use of fulminate, the dangerous nature of which has been shown by two deaths at Winches- ter in four months, —___— ++ ____ Making Sure of Him. From Pick Me Up. He—"The ring doesn’t seem to fit very well. Hadn't I better take it back and have it made smaller.” She—“‘No; an engagement ring is an en- gagement ring, even if I have to wear it round my neck,”* THE NATIONAL GUARD Entries for the Rifle Matches on Thanksgiving Day. CONTEST FOR THE GALVESTON CUP Several Companies Propose to Enter Frott This City. POSITION OF THE FENCIBLES The announcement of the matches to be shot at Ordway Thanksgiving day proved a popular one throughout the brigade, and an encouraging number of entries have been made. As stated, the shoot was arranged in order to give the guardsmen an opportunity to enjoy a good day’s sport and at the same time fire the scores necessary to qualify as marksmen or sharpshooters. The principal shoot of the day is to be known as a quali- fication and sweepstakes match, which will be arranged in classes so as to provide that men of equal skill shall shoot in their class. ‘Tho classes will be as follows: First, to in- clude members of brigade teams and alter- nates; second, to include members of regi- mental teams, including engineer teams and alternates, third, to include members who have qualified as sharpshooters; fourth, to include members who have qualified as marksmen, and fifth, to include members who have never qualified. Men in the lower classes may shoot In the higher classes, if they so desire, but no one will be permitted to shoot in a lower class. Entries should be made at once to the bat- talion inspectors. Orders for special excur- sion tickets to Ordway may be had by apply- ing to the battalion inspectors. Trains will leave the sixth street station at 9 and 11:50 a.m, and 2 p.m., and, returning, will leave Ordway at 2 and 5:20 p.m. It is urged that these intending to participate in the shoot go out on the early train. There will als? be turkey shooting in the gallery Thanksgiving evening, open to all guardsmen. The details of this shoot will be left to the contestants. Five Years’ Service At the meeting of the Officer: of the Second Regiment Thursday evening last a report was made by Lieut. Jacobson on the progress made by his committee, ap- pointed some time ago to consider the feasibility of securing a service medal to be presented to guardsmen for five years’ hon- orable and continuous service. _ Lieut. Jacobson desires the co-operation of all in- terested to further the success of the pro- ject. First Separate Battalion Active. The officers and men of the first battalion have commenced active preparations for the winter. Capt. Brooks of company A, Capt. Meredith of company B, Capt. Webster of company C and Capt. Campbell of company D are up and, doing, and making rapid strides in the new/crill, executing the foot movements with almost clock-like precision and giving much attention to the aiming and sighting drills, Major Revells and his staff can be found on hand every Monday night, ready to assist Gompany commande any” way possible for the good of the command. The members,of company D contemplate giving a hop during the holidays. Lieut. Covington of company C commanded that company last week, with much credit to himself. ‘edal. Association The Galveston Cup. The recent discussion regarding the pos- session of the Galveston semi-centennial championship cup has shown that consid- erable ignorance prevails among those in- terested as to-the rules covering the mat- ter. The talk hag ‘also caused an awaken- ing of interest im the next interstate drill, and to this has'been added a doubt con- cerning the right of entry of companies not connected with the National Guard. What was stated to be a communication from the adjutant general of the state of Texas, the custodian of the cup, was pab- lished a few days ago, In which it was an- nounced by Gen, Mabry that at the next drill no npany would be permitted to compete that was not regu y mustered into the organized militia. Reference was made to the situation at the Memphis in- terstate drill last May, when the Sealy Rifles, an “independent” military compan carried off third prize. This was done in spite of the declaration of Gen. Mabry that he would withdraw the cup from competi- tion if the Sealys were permitted to enter. The Fencibles Will Compete. Of course, it is very plain that the dis- cussion in local military circles Is directed to the National Fencibles, mustered out of the District National Guard last July. The Fencibles, although keeping very quiet, are by no means asleep, and It may be stated without fear of contradiction that Capt. Domer and his men will cut a very large figure in the next drill, wherever {t may be held. The Fencibles will certainly be among the competitors, for they claim they are en- titled to entry under rule 1, which reads: “The cup shall be known as the Galves- ton semi-centennial championship cup, and its possession contested for by any white volunteer military organization of the Unit- ed States at any regular interstate military Grill and encampment in any state of the Union.” The Fencibles claim that as they are a white volunteer military organization their entry cannot be declined or contested. The Fencibles’ Fair. As stated, the twice champions are going to the drill, and with that end in view will hold a military fair on a big scale for two weeks, beginning March 2 next, in National Rifles’ Hall. Among the attractions will be many of the exhibits from the Midway at the Atlanta exposition. A fair paper, similar to the one that met with such success at the last similar enterprise attempted by the company, will be published, making its first appearance several weeks before the fair opens. From the proceeds of the fair the company expects to purchase rifles and pay its expenses to the drill. It is a certainty that Washington will be represented at the drill by at least three companies, the Mor- ton Cadets, the National Rifles and the Fencibles, while other organizations may send teams. Notes. The designation of company D, sixth bat- talion, has been changed to company A. Company B, second battalion, completed its gallery practice Monday evening last. Acting Second Lieut. Pinckney W. Smith, company C, sixth kattalion, has declined to accept the posftion of second lieutenant, to which he had been elected. The new Secong Regiment Band will make its first public appearance Tuesday evening next lin Convention Hall in con- nection with the regimental parade. Mr. D. S. McLeod has been appointed act- ing first licutenant of company A, sixth wattallon. He) will be placed on detached uty, in charge of the new Second Regi- ment Band. A The third battalion will have a parade in Convention Halt this evening. The'corps of field music has been invited to partici- pate in the ceremony. It 1s stated that Capt. H. D. King, com- pany B, third battalion, will be assigned to duty as a member of the brigade board of examination. This-will place both company commanders of the third on the board. A drill of the second battalion will be held in Convention Hall Monday evening next. This will be the first appearance of com- pany B, the National Rifles, in battalion drill since entering the guard. The thirtieth complimentary hop of the Corcoran Cadet Corps will be held Thanks- giving evening in the National Rifles’ Ar- Mory. It will be in honor of the ladies who assisted in the military fete of the com- pany. At the drill of the first battalion Tuesday evening next warrants as corporals will be formally presented to the following: John S. Robinson, company C; Walter McCath- aran, company D; George Sneden, company A, and S. F. Shreve, Oscar Shomo and H. R. McCabe, all of company B. The brigade boerd of examination met Thursday evening last and examined the followin officers, -ecently elected: Capt. Otto G. Simonson, company A, sixth bat- talion; First Lieut. Thomas Means, com- pany B, third battalion, and Second Lieut. Frederick Stutz, compary B, talion. Capt, Barbour has made a requisition for equipment for one hundred cavalrymen. As soon as the requisition is filled it Is ex- pected that the enlistments in troop A will soon reach the century mark. Application has been made by the troop for the use of the rifle gallery December 20, the occasion of its anniversary celebration. First Lieut. Peter Rennie, adjutant of the sixth battalicn, has tendered his resig- nation. Lieut. Rennie has been a member of the guard for a number of years, serving as a sergeant in troop A, adjutant of the third battallon and later of the sixth. He tendered his resignation to accept a busi- ness offer. Some criticism has heen indulged in by those present in Convention Hall Tuesday evening last, on the occasion of the drill of the sixth’ battalion, over the action of the senior officer present in ejecting all the spectators, including a number of la- dies, from the hall. The course pursued Was not only unpopular with the guards- men present, so says one of them, but also with the relatives and friends of the men in the battalion. That mysterious inner organization of the Morton Cadets styling itself the A. O. P. E. made its first public appearance at_the dancing reception of the company last evening. The members wore attrac- tive badges and the Marine Band during the evening rendered the “A. O. P. E. third bat- March." The membership is as follows: D. H. Moran, chief; T. Blandy, W. Wagner, F. E. Lacey, H. Sisson, F. O. Grayson, L. C. Steward, G. Harris, A. B. Claxton, P. Chauncey, F. Plugge, E. Muth, M. O'Con- nell,and C. F, Cook. ——_— DICK, THE DECOY STEER. The End of a Famous Bunco Animal in the Chicago Stock Yards. From the Chteago Daily ‘Tribune. “Dick,” the bunco steer at Phil Armour's yards, got too lazy for his job and was led to the slaughtering pen just like the animals he had decoyed to death before. The de- ceitful old beast is dressed beef now. Dick was a big, fat, brown steer that had winning ways and a cold, treacherous heart. Many and many are the confiding country year- lings and heifers Dick has led up to the butcher's steel hammer. Probably there never was a beef “critter” that had so wide a celebrity as Dick. Every visitor who went to see how the packing houses work had to have a look at this steer. Yoreign princes and pretty summer girls have marveled at the skill and diplomacy with which he steered the unsuspicious range cattle to the place of death. Dick's picture has been printed in the papers many a time, and columns have been written about the heast’s crafty tricks. Dick was just as much one of the sights of the town as the Masonic Temple or the Lake Shore Drive or Policeman Steve Rowan. This Is the way the creature got its notoriet: When the long horns from Texas and the short horns from Missouri come into the stock yards and are unloaded they are nat- urally exasperated over their rough trip and are full of suspicion. The result is they are rebellious, especially in the matter of going into chutes. Now, unless a steer goes into one of the chutes in the packing house it cannot have its throat cut, and throat cut- ting is the aim and object of their coming to Chicago. So it is necessary to have a decoy steer, a crafty old beast, that can get the centidence of the rural beasts and lure them on to death and destruction. Many years ago Dick arrived at the yards, and, being a beast of more than usually sagacious appearance, was picked out for the work. Dick was carefully trained in the art of walking up a chute at the head of a bunch of cattle, and then quietly dodging to one side, leaving the bunch to walk on to the place where the hammers swing. After years of practice the big steer had grown expert at his treacherous work. Dick would saunter down into a pen full of new and un- sophisticated cattle and scrape an acquaint- ance with two or three of them. Then the wicked brute would begin to look wise and talk knowingly about the racy sights to be seen in the big white house over beyond the fence. When Dick offered to lead the way there was a grand stampede to follow. Up the gangway went Dick, and after him clat- tered the greenhorns. But just before the bunch got a sight of the blg butchers wait- ing inside Dick would unostentatiously shy off through a side passage and leave his vic- Ums to transact business with Mr. Armour’s men. So Dick grew famous. But, like many other famous characters, he grew puffed up with pride, got lazy, and began to “lay down on the job.” It got to be so easy, this thing of leading wide-eyed country cattle up into the chute, that Dick didn't seem to care whether he worked for his feed or not. Mr. Armour grew displeased with this apathy. He does not like to have his employes loaf on their jobs. So orders were issued concern- ing Dick. One day last week the wise old rcgue was leading the usual bunch up the but when he got to the usual jump- ce there was none there. Dick had go on with the herd. Before long he had n converted into dressed beef. Now that Dick has suffered the same fate as his thous- ands of dupes, his work all devolves on his former partner, known to the butchers as oe Naming the New Baby. From Demorest. The most rerious problem that now as- sails the fashionable mother is what name or names she shall bestow on her newly ar- rived Uttle daughter, for It has of late be- come the mode for every young woman to possess as many initials as a royal prin- cess. Happily there has come an active re- vulsion against the diminutive, and ‘tis proper that all girls now be spoken to and of as Anne or Josephine, Catherine or Elea- nor, in place of the silly and stupid Annie and Josie, Kitty and Nellie. No more toes the well-regulated debutante venture to give her name distinction by unique spell- ing, as Edyth, Kathryn, Corah, etc. She keeps her baptismal name pure and simple, and now many a worthy clergyman is filled with an astonishing gratification when at baptism a godmother announces her little charge as Deborah, Patience, Su- sannah Melville-Jones. The whole of this extensive title is engraved on the cards Mrs. Jones sends out with her own to ap- prise her friends of Miss Jones’ safe ur- rival. The Deborah and Susannah are careful selections from the Biblical list now so much favored that we hear of baby Esthers, Naomits, Vashtis, Judiths and Ra- chels by the score. Patience ts in imita- tion of the Puritan love for naming girls after the virtues, and we have Hope, Peace, Prudence, Mercy, Faith, Deliverance, etc., along with the new provision that the mother’s maiden surname, as Melville- Jones, be hyphenated with the child's. see Ninety-Nine-Cent Game. From ‘Truth. Mrs. Bargain—“‘Why don’t you charge a dollar for these goods, instead of ninety-nine cents?” Salesman—“Why, ma‘am, you're always sure to think of something else you want while waiting for your change!” -see- How He Proved It. From Tid-Bits. A recruit, wishing to evade service, was brought up for medical inspection, and the doctor asked him: “Have you any de- fects?” “Yes, sir; I am_ short-sighted.” “How can you prove it?” “Easily enough, doctor. Do you see that nail up yonder in the wall?” “Yes.” “Well, I don’ ————_ <6 New Slang in Gotham. From the New York Journal. There is a new bit of slang in town which came into being when two young newspaper men happened to be in the Fifth Avenue Hotel the other afternoon. The men saw a very pompous man, well known in society circles, who never leaves his home for his club until afternoon and Is then beringed and perfumed to the nines and who always dresses in the very extreme of male fashion. This man, whose name Is not at all neces- sary to the story, has what Dickens called in the case of Mr. Turveydrop, a “deport- ment.” He walks with stately tread and makes as much fuss in progressing as a sidewheel steamboat. “That man,” said one of the newspaper men, as he watched the assertive manner of the society leader, “is burning a lot of red fire for himself as he walks along.” “Burning a lot red fire” is now a sen- tence to be used when you mean to convey that somebody thinks he is somebo-ly of im- portance. FOR OVER-INDULGENCE ‘Take Horsford’s Acid Phosphate. It preserves and renews the vitality, strengthens the nerves and stimulates the stomach to healthy action, COULDN'T AFFORD TO LOAF Four Bottles of Paine’s Celery Compound Made Him Well! There may be in the distant future some remedy as efficactous as Paine's celery compound. ‘There is none such today. ‘The sick and ailing who are stretching out thelr hands for help must tuke the best that the scien- titic medical knowledge of the world now affords. ‘The reasoning that has enabled Professor Edward E. Phelps, M.D., LL.D., of Dartmouth College to discover the remarkuble formula of Paine’s celery compound is the result of the century's work in medicine. It 1s by a new and more thoughtful grouping of diseases, from a careful study of their causes, that Professor Phelps has been enabled to see the trne relationship of all diseases of the blood and nerves. Neural, slecpleseness, melancholia, hysteria, headache and dyspepsia at once referred themselves to a tired, half-fed and therefore dersnged mervous tem, ‘The cure lay in stterding to the mutrition of the whole system. ‘This system of cure, simple and clear like most epoch-making ideas, was embodie4 in the greatest Ussue former, nerve-restorer and regulator yet known to science—Paine's celery compound, the ane great remedy that makes people well! Persons who compirined of fecling “tired to death” and sought a competent invigorator, as soon as thelr physicians ordered Paine’s celery com- pound felt that their tired bodies were actually taking @ new start. ‘Their strength rapidly re- turned. less nights, w e no more troubled with sleep a r days were no longer made hed by neuralgia and rheumatism. Constipation, that stores up in the body she nes long since worse than useless to the body st nd a menace to the health, is looked after. Agy one troubled with this obstinate hindrance to health will tind a positive and lasting cure in Paine's a very short time to settle any doubts on the matter by giving Patne’s cclery compound a trial. Mr. Jobn Holiand, whose portrait is given shore, perlor car cunductor, whose bome is ia Jersey He write wish to give my testimony of the great benefit Taine’s celery conpound has done ne. A yenu ago I bad typhoid fever, and later I bad to have an peratioa in my side for an abscess over the liver. ‘This left me very weak. I grew very nervous and vould not sleep. {was tired even after I got up than I was when I went to bed. I have taken four bottles of Paine’s celery ‘vompound, and am perfectly well! I have sent six bottles to some friends In Virginia. One, although he has taken bay 4 bottle of it, feels much better and slceps well.” is City. « Paine’s celery compound puts the system om a healthy, strong basis, safe from disease. Try It if you are ailing and a trial will speedily convince you. REMEMBERING FACES. The Young Man Whom the Traveler Met in a Car. From the Chicago Tribune. An elderly passenger with a long, droop- ing mustache, who sat in the smoking car of an incoming train from the east a few mornings ago, was approached by a smil- ing young man, who held cut his hand and said: You don't krow me, but I know you. I've seen your pictures in the papers too many times to be mistaken. You are Mr. Jones—Jones of Binghamton, and you pay the freight.” “Young tan,” responded the elderly citi- “you bave made a mistake this time. y name isn't Jores at all. It's—" Ha! Ha! That won't do,” broke in the other. “But you needn't be afraid of me. I'm not a reporter. So far as I am con- cerned, you needn't travel incog. There's only cne man in the United States with a mustache like that, and his name is Jones of Binghamton, ex-lieutenant governor of New York. I can spot a well-known face wren I see it. I never forget a face. I merely wanted to shake hands with you. Tkat's all.” “But,hold on'’ persisted the elderly pas- senger. “I can't let you rest under a false impression. If there is ary resemblance between Jones of Binghamton and me it fs purely accidental. I am not Jones of Bing- hemton, or Poughkeepsie, or Skedunk, or any other place. My name is Wilkerson, and I reside in Urbana, Ohio.” “In thit case I beg your pardon, sir, for trcubling you, and I wish you good day.” “No harn done at all, sir, at all. Good day.” The smiling young man raised his hat re- spectfully and went back into the rear car. When Mr. Wilkersen of Urbana, Ohio, got off the train at the Polk street station half an hour afterward he casually en- ccuntered a grave, somber youth, who call- el him by name, introduced himself as a son of a leading banker in Urbana, and the two went to the same hotel. When they parted at 10 o'clock that even- ing Mr. Wilkerson of Urbana had a check for $250, and the somber young man had Mr. Wilkerson’s cash. tos Bullt by Pilgrims. From the Globe-Democrat. Among the attractions of the town of Bourne, Mass., are two historic cellars. One was dug by the Plymouth colony and the other by the Dutch traders. These cellars lie side by side, and the structures built over them were filled with goods so neces- sary for the comfort of the early pilgrims as well as the Dutch. The pilgrims needed manufactured goods such as the Hollander had for sale, and the Dutch required pro- ducts such as the colony could supply. Gov- ernor Bradford, in his “diar, states that this block house was built as early as 1627, only seven years after the landing of the Mayflower. -ses- . A Brave Woman. From the Indianapolis Journal. “Dear me,” said Mra. Wickwire, looking up from her paper, “but women are getting brave nowadays.” “Brave?” echoed Mr. Wickwire. yes. Here is a story about a woman who shot a mouse. She—pshaw! I read it wrong. It was only a moose.” MORAN’S MIGRATORY HEART. After Much Shifting About It Has Set- tled Down on the Right Side. From the San Francisco Examiner, Frederick Moran is an inmate of the county infirmary, and since he has been there his heart has been shifting from one side to the other and has finally wound up on the right side of his body, where it seems to have located a claim with intent to remain permanently. Moran lived in Chicago when this peculiar action of the heart began. It was a rest- less, shifting organ, moving from side to side in a manner most perplexing and con- fusing to physicians. Mr. Moran found himself having considerable trouble, but he did not imagine that his heart was wander- ing around in this remarkable fashion. When he came to this coast he settled in Alameda. Here his heart began wandering from side to side, and this so disturbed Mr. Moran's internal arrangements that he be- came quite sick. He was sent to the county infirmary for treatment, and when he got there Resident Physician Clark made a thorough examination of his physical con- dition. Dr. Clark noted that his heart seemed to be a little out of plumb, and he watched the case closely. While Mr."Moran remained in the county infirmary his heart kept on Its travels and finally located itself permanently upon the right side. During this time Moran suf, fered some, but Dr. Clark's treatment pre- vented any serious results. Moran became accustomed to the new order of things, and he is now to be discharged from the hos- pital and will go back to work. It is unusual that the heart should shift from one side to the other without causing death. Dr. Clark says that he has only heard of three similar cases, and that the shifting of the heart in Moran's case has been complete. +o+—____ USE “DISCRETION.” Causes a Lot of Trouble. From the Philadelphia Inquirer. The new order of the Union Traction Com- pany requiring all trolley cars to stop at the near crossing on streets on which there are intersecting lines, pass slowly across, and stop at the second crossing to take on and let off passengers, went into effect yes- terday. Each motorman seemed to con- strue the crder to suit himself, and the re- sult was that In many cases the cars were simply slowed up at the first crossing and did not come to a stop. Confusion and many narrow escapes resulted. No stops were made as streets were approached on which there were no troiley tracks. At Federal street a 13th street car did not stop, and as it ran across the street tt nearly ran down a team whose driver evi- dently had calculated that the new rule would be strictly enforced, and he would thus have plenty of time to drive across. Teamsters cn Market street had many sim- ilar escape: — A Difference in Time. From Truth. “I do not understand it,” said the philos- opher. “What is bothering you now?” inquired the other. “If a man is two hours late arriving: at home his Wife raises a row, while If he it gone two years she will give him a roya welcome. Women are peculiar.” tS uaa From Punch. True Hum ——, ty. Right Reverend Host—“I'm afraid y The Curate—“Oh, no, my lord, I a ‘ou've got a bad egg, Mr. Jones!” re you! Parts of it are excellent!"