Evening Star Newspaper, November 23, 1895, Page 13

- THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1895—TWENTY-FOUR PAGES. 13 4 GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL —-— + BY IAN MACLAREN {Author of “Beside the Bonnie Brier Bush ete.) a (Copyright, 1895, by John Watson.) Never had I met any man so methodical ‘m his habits, so neat in his dress, so accu- vate in speech, so precise in manner as my fellow-lodger. When he took his bath in the morning I knew it was half-past 7, and when he rang for hot water that it was a quarter to 8 Until a quarter-past he moved about the room in his slow, careful’ iressing, and then everything was quiet next door till half-past 8, when the low murmur of the Lord's prayer concluded his Jevotions. Two minutes later he went down stairs—if he met a servant, one could iear him say “Good-morning’’—and read als newspaper—he seldom had letters—till 4 when he rang for breakfast. Twenty vast 9 he went upstairs and changed his coat, and he spent five minutes in the lobby selecting a pair of gloves, brushing his hat, and making a last survey for a speck of lust. One glove he put on opposite the hat stand, and the second on the doorstep, and when he touched the y aave set your watch by Once he was n the lobby at five and twenty minutes to 10, distressed and flurried. “I cut my chin slightly when sha ae explained, “and the wound persi. jleeding. It has an untidy appearance 1 drop of blood might fall on a letter. The walk that morning was quite broken, and before reaching the corner he had wice examined his chin with a handker- hief, and shaken his head as one whose vosition In life was now uncertain. “It is nothing in itself," he said after- vard, with an apologetic allusion to his \axiety, “and might not matter to another -fan. But any little misadventure—a yes- erday's collar or a razor cut, or even an inky finger—would render me helpless in dealing with people. They would simply -00k at the weak spot, and one would lose sll authority. Some of the juniors smile when I impress on them to be very careful about their dress—quiet, of co as be- comes their sithation, but uncbjectionable. With more responsibility they will see the necessity of such details. I will remember your transparent sticking plas most valuable suggestion.” His name was Frederick Augustus Per- ains; so ran the card he left on my table a week after I settled in the next rooms, and the problem of calling graduaily be- me a standing vexation. It fell under the ass of conundrums, and one remembered from childhood that it is mean to be told the answer, I could not s to Mr. Per- kins--for it was characteristic of the prim ittle man that no properly constituted n could have said Perkin what is your line of things corous rendering of my curiosity. Mrs. Holmes, who to Mr. Perkins and m If, a3 well as to two young- er men of litevary pursuits and irregular habits, had a gift of charmirg irrele e, ind able to combine allusions to Mr. Verkins' orderly life and the amatory ten- “dencies of a new cook in a mosaic of en- thralling Interast. “No. Betsy Jane has had her notice and soes this day week; rot that her cookin’s vad, but her brothers don’t know when to eave. One was ‘ere fo later than last night, hough if he was her born brother, ’e ‘ad a lifferent father and mother, or my name un’t ‘Olmes. ‘Your brother, Betsy Jane,” says I, ‘ought not to talk in a strange ‘ouse amily affairs thl 11 o'clock.’ left at ‘alf-past 10 punctual,’ says she, lookin’ as hinnozent as a child, ‘for I eard Mr. Perkins go up to ‘is room as I was ettin’ Jim out.’ “Betsy Jane,’ I says, quite calm, ‘ lo you expeck to go to as doesn't know wot truth is?’ for Mr. Perkins leaves ‘is room has the ‘all clocRstarts on 11, and ’e’s in ‘is ved room at the last stroke. If she ‘adn’t brought In Mr. Perkins she might ‘ave de- zelved me, gettin’ old and not bein’ so quick n my hearing as I ; but that settled her. If-past,” n Mrs. Holmes. scorn- fully; ‘and ‘im never varied two minutes the ast ten years, except one night 'e fell asleep n ‘is chair, being bad with hinfluenza. “For a regular single gentleman as rises in the morning, and goes cut, and comes in ind takes ‘is dinner, and goes to bed like the Me and Persians, I've never seen ‘is squal; an’ it's five-and-twenty years since Olmes died, ‘avin’ a bad liver through takin’ sin for rheumatics; an’ Lizbeth Peevey says to me, ‘Take lodgers, Jemima; not that t pays for the trouble, but it ‘ill keep an ‘ou “Mr. Perkins’ busines: It was shabb: out the temptation came as a way of e ‘rom the flow of Mr. Holmes’ autobiography ‘Now that [couldn't put a name on, for vhy, ‘e never speaks about ‘is affairs: just Good evening, Mrs. ’Olmes; I'll take fish for preakfast tomorrow;’ more than that, or inother blanket on "is bed on the Ist of November, for it's by days, not cold, 'e goes.” It was ev! lem for m Mr. Perkins could not be a city man, for in the hottest June he never wore a white waistcoat, nor had he the swelling gait of one who made an occasional coup in mines, und it went without saying that he did not write; a man who went to bed at Il, and whose hair made no claim to distinction. Mne's mind fell back on the idea of law— conveyancing seemed probable—but his face lacked sharpness, and the alternative of onfidential clerk to a firm of drysalters was contradicted by an air of authority that raised observations on the weather to the level of a state document. The truth came upon me—a flash of inspiration I saw Mr. Perkins coming home one evening. The black frock coat and waistcoat, dark gray trousers, spotless linen, high, old-fashioned collar, and stiff stock, were a symbol, and one Glove He Put on 0) Hat Stand. sion, * for this was » “are you in: could only m “By the all one now require an one profe: come tax or stamps her, altho makes me with every riment in the civil IU have t and he his throat wit di oliss clerk in th edu “Our work,"” he Imp and, in administration of tical govert f the rn in our off vital to the efllelency of on the aceu- * in reply nts in fact, T their a3 a memorandum of what ollicials wish to ask, and we put it into shap “It requires long experience and, I may aay, 50 * © ability to compo é , one that will bring ty ty gut every early and exh fact, I have ve 1 to call It as here Mr. Perkins allowed himself to smile— “and it might be defined schedulology “Yes, to see a double sheet of foolscap al- vided up Into some twenty-four compart- ments, each with a question and a blank space for the answer, Is pleasing to the eye, very pleasing, Indeed. “What annoys one,” and Mr. Perkins be- game quite Irritable, “ls to examine a sche- @ule after it has been filled and to discover ow it has been misused—simply mangled. “It is not the public simply who are to blame; they are, of course, quite hopeless, and have an insane desire to write their names all over the paper, with family de- tails, but members of the civil service abuse the most admirable forms that ever came out of our office. “Numerous? Yes, naturally so; and as governmental machinery turns on schedules they will Increase every year. Could you guess, now, the number of different sched- ules under our charge?" “Several hundred, perhaps.” Mr. Perkins smiled with much compla- cency. “Sxteen thousand four hundred and four, besides temporary ones that are only used in emergenci One department has now reached 1,202; it has been admirably or- sanized, and its secretary could tell you the Subject of every form. “Well, it does not become me to boast, I have had the honor of contributin, 20 my- self, and have composed forty-two more that have not yet been accepfed. “We 5 he admitted, with much modes: have kept copies of the originai drafts,” and he showed me a bound volume ot his works. “An author? It is so,” and Mr. P ry good of you to say emed much pleased with the idea, twice smiling to himself dur- ing the evening, and saying as we parted, “It's my good fortune to have a large and permanent circulation.” All November Mr. Perkins was engaged with what he hoped would be one of his Breatest successes. “It's a sanitation schedule for the edu tion department, and fs, I dare say, neariy perfect. It has’ eighty-three questions on every point, ph sical condition of primary schools. ou have no idea,” he continued, a fight I hav: had with our head to get it through —eight drafts, each one costing three days’ labor—but now he has passed it Perkins,’ he s: f |. ‘this is the most ex- haustive schedule you have ever drawn up, and I'm proud i ome through the hands of the drafting sub-department. Whether I can approve it as hi sub-department is very doubtful. “Do you mean that the same man would approve your paper in one department to- day and “Quite PERKINS LAY VERY STILL from temperature to drains, | and will present a compiete view of the | 1 of the publishing | | AND Dib | you his dress in circumstances * * ® really, I will not speak any more. “Those notes, Mr. Lighthead, will make my idea quite plain * * * and I hope to revise final draft * * * if God will * * * my dutiful respect to the board and kind re- gards to the chief clerk * * * it was kind of you to come; most thoughtful.” This young gentleman came into my room to learn the state of the case, and was much impressed. “Really, this kind of thing—Perkins gasp- ing in bed and talking in his old-fashioned way—knocks one out of time, don't you know? If he had gone on much longer I should have bolted. “Like him in the office? I should think so. You should have seen the young fellows to- day when they heard he was so ill. Of course, we laugh a bit at him—Schedule Per- < he’s so dry and formal; but that's nothing. With all his little cranks, he knows his business better than any man in the depart- and then he's a gentleman, d’ye see? could not say a rude werd or do a mean thing to save his life—not made that way, in f ‘Let me just give you one instance- show sort. | Every one knew that he Gcent to have been chief cierk, and that Rolway’s appointment was sheer influence. staff was mad, and some one said Roa- need not expect to have a particularly time. “Perk at once. overheard him, and chipped in —yon know his dry 3 all the time we are bound very ance in our n he was splendid, ‘re Rod they sa retired, but the worst of it is that kins has been once passed over he'll not succeed. os_it won't matter, poor chap, I id Lighthead, hurricdly, turning his and examining a pipe on the mantel- fo you think he is going to *9% * as he a chance?" I believe. Have you been = with him? vhat he’s done for a Strangers don't know Per You isht talk to him for a year, and never hear anything but shop. n one day you get Into a hole, and you Hd fied ont another Perkins. That's rot it--it’ . * » * for fellows. ni His boST TO BREATH sider to appreciate the perfect order, per- haps I might say symmetry, of the civil service,” and Mr, Perkins s tone of condescension as to a little child. head goes himself to the one sab-dep ment in the morning and to the othe: the afteraoon, and he acts wi impar row enthusiast letter from the other verely criticising a + commended in ours I saw his hand in th was a schedule about s the Department of Agriculture. the pleasure of reading it in public tion when on my holidays. the sed to kimse “Certainly letters between deparimen gned by the chief officer. med to have found 4 lustration of public r nized his duty as a m ism. “It would afford me give you any informatio cellent system, whi. up and cuse me bath, and was Hfolmes came to vith cone and dis- t when "is door "Annah J ‘urrie at 8 o'c that I couldn't speak; and I ’ears him aking to ‘isself, which is not what you would ex- pect of him, he being the quietest gentle- man as ev “Is Mr. Perkins ill, do mean?” for Mrs. Holmes se 1 now i r breath, and was always siven to comparative re- oI knocks and says, ‘Mr. Perkins, ‘ow are you feeling? and all I could ‘ear 3 ‘temperance?’ it's little as he needs of that, for excepting a gi of wine at his dit might be sthing ‘ot be- ing to bed in winte asia goes in, > te was sitting up in’ red as fire, an’ n 1g me If it wasn’t for "is ‘abits an’ tching of ‘is breath you wud ‘ave nk, for "e s often hav ‘ains been sluiced last y which I went up to Mr. Perkins’ room with- out ceremony. from Adam. ning, with much cogen It seemed to me, that unless the Statistic temperature embraced the whole year, they would afford no reliable conclusions regard- ing the sanitary but when T addressed 3 emphasis he came to himself with a star’ “Excuse me, § st apologize * * * I really did not hear * * * in fact.” and then, as he realized his situation, Mr. Per- kins was-greatly embarr d. “Did I forget myself so faras * * * to send for you? * * * T not feeling well. I have a slight difficulty in breathing, but I am quite able to go to the office * * * ina cal “You are most kind and obliging, but the edule Iam * * © ft just comes and s * * * thank you, no more wate * is Important and * * * Intri * can complete It * * * rise * * * ssion, I will efe © 10 o'clock, dear me unfortunate * * * not * * [must really Insist i come, and Mr. ny per in a few minute « ¢ * thisisn get down till 11 : * * " But the doctor ha ins obeyed on one condition. I , if you please, . Iam not a young pei nor nervous * * * thank you e ¢ © quite ss pneumonia is se and double pné tand * * * no, itis not that * * ¢ not alarmed at my age, but * * * down * * ® letter must go to ic eee much certain form * * * leave of absence, in fact * * * trouble you too much * * * 1 certificate,” He was greatly “relieved after this letter was sent by special messenger, with the key of his desk, and quite refreshed when a clerk came up with the chief’s condolences. “My compliments to Mr. Lighthead * * * an excellent young official; very promising irdeed * * * and would he step upstairs for @ minute * * * will excuse this un- you?” and he wheeled round. “Stand b: and no palaver either; with ind with time and with * * ¢* other things that do a fellow more good than the whole concern, and no a BY more than one man in our offi e to * * * bless Schedule Per- vet me tell you ho: * * * one he got chap out of the t ail into. Do you mind me then he made himself busy with matches nd a pipe that was ever going out for the rest you see, this man, clerk in our ad not keen long up from the coun- try, and he was young. ‘Wasn't quite bad, but he couldn't hold his own with older fellows. “Ile got among a set that had suppers in their rooms, und gambled a bit, and he lost znd borrowed, and * * * in fact, was stone broke. “It's not very pleasant for a fellow to sit room a week before Christmas, and know that he may be cashiered before the his own fault. y himself, why, he might nd go to the colonies, but * on his mother—it’s al- cut, this pipe—when he was ly pn, and ther * * * be- lleved in him. “Didn't sleep much that night—told me if afterward—and he concluded that t way out was to buy opium in the next day, and take It—pretty stiff dos you_know—ne “Cowart be easier for the mater down in De his mother, an—aid I say he county as myself—affair would be hushed u) * * * his memc “As it happe though, he didn’t buy y opium next day—didn’t get the chance; Perkins came round to his desk, and d this young chap te have a bit of er. “He had the jelliest little dinner ready ‘ou ever saw, and he insisted on the fellow and she would have clean. as dinn, smoking, though Perkins hates the very smell o: he got the whole trouble out of him. pt the opium, “D'ye think he lectured and seolded? Not a bit—that’s not Perkins—he left the fool to do own lecturing, and he did it stiff. I'll tell you what he id: ‘Your health must have been much tried by this anxiety, so you must go down and spend Christmas with your mother, and I would venture to that you take her a suitable gift. ‘With regard to your debt, you will allow and Perkins spoke as If he had been ex- chedule, ‘to take it over on two a repay me by install- nd dine wit me every evening for six months what he was after? Wanted to keep the fellow straight, and cheer him up, and you've no idea how Perkins came out those Saturdays—c al stories ever you heard met he declared that it was a pleasure to nim. “Tam rather lonel: it is most kind of a me.’ Kind! “What was the upshot with your friend? Did he turn over a new leat?’ “He'll never be the man that Perkins ex- pects, but he's doing his level best, and * * * ds rising in the office. Perkins swears By him, and that’s made a man of the fel- low. ‘He's paid up the cash now, but * * * he can never pay up the kindness—confound those wax matches, they never strike—he told his mother last summer the whole story. “She wrote to Perkins—of course I don’t know what was in the letter—but Perkins had the fellow Into his room. ‘You ought to have regarded our transaction as con- fidential. Iam grieved you mentioned my name,’ and then as I—I mean as the fellow was going out, ‘I'll keep that letter beside my cor d Perkins. “If Per f young men don't do that kind cf thing or else one would have thought—“it'll be * * * a beastly shame,” whi wa terrible collapse, and Mr. Geof- frey Lighthead of the schedule department left the house without further remark or even shaking hands. That was Wednesday, and on Friday morning he appeared, flourishing a large blue envelope, sealed with an imposing de- vice, marked “On Her Majesty's Service,” and addressed to “Frederick Augustus Perkins, Esq., First-class Clerk in the Schedule Depart- ment, Somerset House, London.” An envelope any man might be proud to receive and try to live up to for a week. “Rodway has retired,’ he shouted, “and me. plaining "he used to ung man to s » ‘and with we can’t be sure in the office, but the betting is four to one—I’m ten myself—that the board has appointed Perkins chief clerk,” and Lighthead did some steps6f a triumphal character. = “The secretary appearedthis morning after the board had met. “Fhere’s a letter their honors wish taken at o¢e to Mr. Per- kins. Can any of you delivef it at his resi- dence? Then the other men’ looked at ma, because—well, Perkins has been friendly with me; and that hansom came very credi- tably indeed. oe “Very low, eh? Doctors afraid not last over the night—that's hard Imes * * * but I say, they di reckon on this letter. Could net you read it to him? You see, this was his one ambition. He could never be secretary, not able enough, but he was made for chief clerk. Now she's got it, or I woutd not have been sent out skimming with this letter. Read it to-him, and the dear old chap will be on ‘his legs in a we2k.”” It seemed good advige, and:this was what I read, while Perkins lay very still and did his best to breathe: “Dear Mr. Perkins— “I have the pleasure to inform you that the board has appointed you chief clerk in the schedule department ‘n succession to Gustavus Rodway, esq., who retires, and desire me further to expre: fon of your long and val o express their earnest hop? that you may be speelily restored to heaith. 1am, ‘our ob-dient servant, "RW ALL, etary.”” time it was too much for Mr. hed, and nal references in board letters aps hardly regular * * * but gratifying * * * and* * * strengih- “I feel better already * * * some words I weuid Lke to hear again * * * thanh you, where I can reach it * * * nurse Will be so good as to read ib” Mr. Perkivs revivel from that hour, hav- Ing his tonic administered at intervals, and astonished the dect On Chris bad made ch progress that s allowel t him for five minutes. Heard about your calling three times a * * * far too kind with all your work * * * and the messages from the staff * * * touched me to the heart * * * never thought had so many friends * * * wished been more friendly myself. “My promotion, too * * * hope may be fit for du * can't speak much, but think Ui be e * * Almighty very good to me * * * chief clerk of schedule department * * * would you mind sayi Prayer together * * * it sum everything. kn 11 led with “Our Father or ng once or twice quite audible. The , of a neighboring church were singing | tH ‘ol in the street, and the ame into our hearts a little ee ee CANDL! LOVERS S. t Over the Average For- ‘Telling Devices. Improve! tun From the Princess. A qnaint old superstition Is to this day held in Poland to the effect that two lighted candles set afloat on the river by two lovers will by their conduct foretell if the course of true love will run smooth or otherwise. The “lover: andles” are launched at a very pretty water fete that takes place every summer on that part of the Vistula ich runs ugh Poland. It commences at sunset. The river is thronged with a procession of littie boats, containing masked nd gentlemen. Each person carries rnd two candies, the latter enting the person canrying them, and the object of his or her affe ions. They are | lighted, fi mly in the center of the wreaths, and laid side by side in the water. Should they float down thé river close t gether it is a sign that theif Hyves should be united. Should they drift away from each it is a sign that the lovers will be E . and should they only drift der for a little nd further on come to- | : agal sign that the loved ones will only be parted for a time, and all come | isht fn the end. ‘There is much method and t the de order abo rrangement of this pro- Ide along in rows, so | the first row have they move away to | ers Gome forward in | is Well illuminated arge concourse of peaple assembh to watch the proceedings. ‘The scene i charming one, and reminds one fairyland than of anything The © Christ in Heaven? ny th now. pu, but ye —Soum xv Is it so, O Christ in heave ML ygnaig in pein eternal, must abide in end- ess hel 1 And our lo h them—nothiag | that the souls we loved avail them nothing, even Thine ava nou Is there can rea 1 o'er? to tell you, but ye cannot bear h the heathen for a rear guard, and the learned for the van “Thave thinj them now." “Is it so, 0 Christ in heave, that the highest suffer most? That the stronge: surround us, things we nnot know ? * must buund us, as a temple veil vnre While the content ? “T have . them now paries, so that none attain 98 to tell you, it ye cannot bear © Christ In heaven, that the fullness yet sand so perfect that to know would amily? pment, we could pierce beyont of mortals we should Just to show you, but ye cannot ARAN WILLIAMS. ses Banking Underground. From the Bankers’ Encyclopedia Monthl: A Cleveland architect thinks that the oc- cupancy of underground quarters by a large bank in that city Is going to mark a revolution in building. He says: “The idea is not new, but in this case it has been greatly developed, and I look for startling results, It has been shown that with the aid of air shafts and other appliances quarters a story below ground may be ren- dered far more comfortable than those above, and with care exercised in the ventilation these quarters will doubtless prove perfect from a sanitary standpoint. If this is so one story telow ground, why not three or four, and if two, three or four, why not ter or twelve if necessary? This may solve the problem of eccnomy in build- ing space and do away with the sky-scrap- ing buildings that in other cities are al- ready causing unfavorable comment. It may be a lcng time hence, put I believe the time will come when there are as many buildings ten stories below ground as there are that number above the surface of the earth.” This sounds chimerical, but per- haps it is not. ( oe Miss Nightingale’s Good Work. From the London News. The now vencrable Miss Nightingale, whose state cf health did! not’ permit her acceptance of the invitation to be present at the dhrer to the Balaklava veterans, has devoted much of her time'and energy for some years past to the promotion of sanitation in North Bucks, where she has been accustomed to spend much of her later life. She has been the life and soul of a movement for bringing intelligence to | as they heard the warning clang of the am- bear on the management of the home, and sanitary matters generally, in a district where such a movement was greatly need- ed. It has been carried on by the technical education committee of the Bucks county council, but Miss Nightingale has been the moving spirit, and very unostentatlously has, in her declining years, been continuing in this way the practical benevolence which so endeared her to all English hearts in the Crimean war. ———_+e+____- Pretty Well of. From the Boston Courier. “Lofer has struck it rich.” “Has he?” “Yes; he's got a corner on the sidewalk.” EMERGENCY CALLS Experiences of a Physician Who Goes With the Hospital Ambulance. LEAVES FROM A DOCTOR'S DIARY Lights and Shadows, the Pathetic and the Humorous. HIS. MOTHER’S SUPPORT Written Exclusively for The Evening Star. © THOSE OUTSIDE = of the medical pro- fession the term “hospital intern” has little significance, ‘Whe, and still less do they know of his work. It is my purpose to give a few experiences while acting in the capacity of an intern, or resident and am- bulance surgeon, ina large emergency hos- ‘ pital, and with that object in v:ew I have refreshed my mem- ory from the pages of a diary kept during the time of my connection with the hos- Possibly it might be well to preface my remarks in this connection by stating that after I had gyaduated in medicine I real- ized that I needed practical experience to assist me in healing the sick. It was with a view to obtaining this information that I, with thirty-five other young M. D.’s, made applicat:on to take the examination for appointment as junior assistant sur- secon in th's particular hospital. I received the appointment, and, upon re- porting, was assigned to do the “redre: of the emergency cases. After havi spent six months in this preliminary line of my chosen profession, during which time I had ample cpportunities to witness operations and observe the handling of the sick, I assigned by the head ‘surgeon of the hospital to do duty with the ambu- lance—in other words, 1 was now the am- bulance surgeon. ‘To the uninitiated this signifies but little. To me it meant much. Heretofore I had worked under the direction of others, but now for the first time in my life I was to e, independently, my thoughts in a 1 line, and apply practically what I had been learning theoretically for years. It was in reality the beginning of my career as a medical man, and 1 deeply felt the obligation I had assumed for my own sake and the sake of the public. Accom- ng this deep sense of importance to s ty, I must also confess that a feeling of vanity arose within me. The First Case. I anxiously awaited an ‘‘emergency call. Arrayed in my white duck sult—the intern’s uniform—I hoped, in fact almost prayed, for an accident, that I might be given an opportunity to don the natty blue cap with the one word, “Surgeon,” in large gold let- te across its front, and be off with the ambulance. In a large city one does not have to wait long for something of this kind to mate- rialize; and, although it seemed hours to me, the telephone bell soon rang, the jani- answered it, rang the accident bell in room, and I was quickly in the eleva- r on the way to the ambulance, which ited me under the porch of the hospi- & ian hurt at the sewer on Water street, or,” said the telephone attendant. At last my ambition was satisfied. I was in the ambulance, go:ng at a rapid rate to the cene of the accident. Pedestrians stopped bulance gong, and watched us as we pass- ed. 1 was wrapped in thought. What kind of a “case” will it be? One thousand rules on aid to the injured struggled for first place in my brain. I knew them all and in regular order while at college. Now they were hopelessly confused, and none seemed strong enough to predominate, until at least an hour after I had reached the hos- pital. I soon arrived at the place of the acci- dent. A great crowd indicated to me the location-of my patient. With my emer- gency rip in hand and clothed, as 1 thought, with an air of experience, such as I had seen old practitioners assume,I made my way briskly through the mass of peo- ple. A man evidently in zreat pain lay on the ground betore me, his head supporied by one of the workmen. I {elt like a xrav- en image. The crowd appeared to me to know my thoughts. The Patient Takes a Hand. At last I managed to ask the injured man how he was hurt, at the same time mechanically groping around in space for his pulse. “A bucket of bricks fell on his back from the derrick,” voluntered some- one. What would I do now? The books I had studied, I thought, said nothing about the treatment of a patieat who had served as the dumping place for a bucket of bricks. I tried to meditate. I hoped that the assembled multitade thought that pro- fessional. Ah, happy inspiration! A little morphine would relieve the agony the man seemed to be suffering, and would give me more time to think! For fear that my peor mind could not retain this one saving thought, I rolled up the patient's sleeve, in order that 1 would recollect that a hypodermic injection of morphine was at are you doin’ doc.? None of that stuff for me. A fellar I knew taken it once, and he croaked de next day,” said the man who had been hurt, as I started to insert the tip of the needle in his arm. The crowd tittered. I feit it obligatory to do something to hide my chagrin and fol- lowed suit with an awfully artificial laugh. Argument was useless. “Well,” said I to the ambulance driver, “bring the stretcher, and we'll take this man to the hospital.” “Not on your tintype,” responded the dy- ing hero, “hain’t a goin’ to no hospital to have you young fellars monkeying and ex- perimentin’ on me." ‘This was the last straw. My professional pride had been wounded, so I turned, and in a dignified manner left my “‘first case’ lying as I found him. Thus terminated my primary ambulance call, and with it my vanity as an ambulance surgeon. Thonght of His Mother. There ts plenty of light and shadow in the life of a hospital intern. A pathetic scene occurred as the maimed and brulsed body of a seven-year-old newsboy was being hur- ried to the hospital. Both of his legs had been crushed below the knees, and as I was arranging the bandages on the bleeding stumps, while the ambulance was hastening on, the little fellow, with great deliberation, id: “Doctor, see that I am treated care- fully at the hospital, because I have a wid. owed mother and a baby sister to support. That little man recovered. Although an intern lives and moves where life's shadows meet eternity’s days, yet he has humorous experiences. I can vividly recall,an event on a certain Fourth of July—possibly because it was the first of twenty-eight ambulance calls I made on that day. The ambulance was summoned to a prominent residential portion of the city. Upon arriving at the place and after passing through the gaping crowd, always present, I entered a drug store to find three small boys, none of them over seven years of age, stretched on the floor, their respect- ive heads and hands swathed in bandages, the result of the ministrations of a kind- hearted druggist. So thoroughly were they wrapped up that only the tips of their noses peeped through the mass of linen. They were perfectly motionless and did not even whimper, although the druggist advised me at onco that they were badly hurt. From each of their well-filled pock- ets protruded the fuses of numerous fire crackers, of the déuble-jointed species, From the date of the month and the odor of burnt clothing I was assisted in diagnosing their injuries as powder burns, and had the patients removed to the hospital. They were carried by the attendants to the operating tables, and as the bandages were being taken from them ail seemed absolutely sur- prised to see the light of day once more. I asked one of the little fellows why they haa been so quiet. “Why,” said he, “we thought we was all dead, and that you was the devil taking us to the bad place for dis- DEADLY DRUGS Denounced by Munyon — Harmless Remedies Make Positive Cures Where Dangerous Dosing Fails. Proof From Honest People Who Have Tried Both Ways. Mrs. Mangin, 144 W. 28th street, New York city, says: “I was vietimitized by allopatht= doctors until my system was filled with poisonous drugs, and at last I declared I would never take another dose of allopathic medicine. I read a great deal abont Munyon's new Remedies and determined to try them, so last winter when I was attacked by the grip I rent to the drug store for M1 ron’s Cough Cure and Cold Cure. ‘The first doses relieved me of the frightful pain, and in a few hours I was able to sit up. I was so delighted with the prompt cure that TI have used Muuyon's Remedies ever since, and always with wonderful su The Munyon Remedies are absolutely and effect prompt cures. A separate speci each disease. Sold by druggists, mostly for cents a bottle Munyon's Rheumatism Cure never fails to relieve in one to three hours, und cures in a few days. Price, 2c. Munyon's Dyspepsia Cure is guaranteed to cure all forms of indigestion and stomach troubles. Price, 25e Maunyon’s Catarrh Remedies positively cure. Price, 5c. each Munyon's Kidney Cure speedily cures pains in the back, loins or groins, and all forms of kidney dis- ease. Price, Munyon's Vitallzer reetcres lost powers to weak men. Price, $1.00. Personal letters 10 Professor Muayon, 1505 Arch street, Philadelphia, Pa., snswered with free medi- cal advice for any diseuse, The Dector’s Advice. G. W., New York.—For the local trouble take our Testine, three times dally. Take a cold sponge bath every morning. Dr. J. 8. B., Lancaster, Pa.—Give Gastrine and Natrolithic Salts. No. L. Q. H., Toled ‘My husband suffers from mus- cular rheumatism. takes cold. Plea One of our Febricide Pills, thre: for a week; then our Thyroidii extract of the thyroid gland, three times daily; Natrolithic Salts once a week. L. ‘The fingers of my left hand seem to have no strength. I cannot close my hand, and suffer a great deal of pain. ‘Take our Medulline, extract of the spinal cord, three times daily. EB ° THE DOCTOR. ‘The above preparations and other specialties of the COLUMBIA CHEMICAL CO., WASHINGTON, D.C., Including the famous Animal! Extracts And NATROLITHIC SAL At all Druggists 38) for Literature. obeying mamma and getting powder to fire eff our cannon.” i Program of July 4. On that same torrid Fourth of July, in re- sponse to a “call” at an ice factory, I found one of the watchmen, who had taken an overdose of spirits frumentii to ald his pa- triotism and who had gone to sleep on the ice as a result, suffering from badly frozen feet. I submit that frozen feet on the Fourth of July in a southern city is some- what parodoxical. On another occasion I responded to a case at the intersection of two prom‘nent busi- ness streets and found the usual crowd around the body of a man lying on the sidewalk, the man’s clenched hand hold- ing Ughtly the scrawny neck of a picked turkey. Links of sausage and the head of a wooden monkey on a stick protruded from his overcoat pockets, while in his other hand the remnant of a cheap cigar was greatly in evidence. “Poor fellow Dropped dead on to his family.” “Heart disease.’ day’s marketing with him, too.” Ing.” “Who is he, anyway?” ‘Why don't some of you men pick him from the street?” were some of the remarks of the various onlookers, while a ministerial man with a fog-horn attachment to his vocal organs, appropriately suggested “that all should be prepared for death.” I knelt beside the man, tore open his shirt, and put my ear to his heart. It was still attending to business at the old stand. From his breath and the other conditions which were present, I diagnosed the case as a “plain drunk,” but in view of the fact that very recently our hospital had been the subject of severe newspaper criticism for not caring for a case of this character, I decided to take him with ine. When the ambulance stopped under the porch of the receiving room, my patient arose and alighted with great ease therefrom, “Much "biiged for the ride, doc.,” said he as he walked away, still clinging to the turkey, and leaving the hospital attendants, to say nothing of myself, somewhat astounded. AT THE BARBER'S. The Jolly Customer Gets Into Trouble With the Burber Over a Joke. From the New York Tribune. As he took his seat in a Brooklyn barber's establishment the fat, jolly-looking customer turned to the knight of the shears and said: “Dot vas a bretty goote joke on Hans, vat keeps the barber shop aroundt the cor- ner—don’t it?” “Vat vas it? I guess I don’t alreadty hear of it,” replied the elongated German bar- ber, as he stropped a razor before beginning work on his customer. “You don’t have heard that joke?” said the latter. “It vas so funny I laugh myself all over efery time I think of it. It vas like this: A man come into Hans’ place und Hans shave him. He says to Hans, ‘There yas something der matter mit dot razor,’ und Hans he says, ‘Nix!" Then the man laugh like the divul nearly out of his chair, and ‘Yes dot’s it—nicks, ha, ha, ha!’ Bretty good joke, vasn't it?” “I don’t see where dot joke comes out,” replied the barber, as he daubed the lather in the customer's left ey “You don't see that joke—nicks?” asked the customer, impatiently. “Nix. I see me no joke mit nix; und I tink you vas crazy,” replied the barber, em- phatically. “Vel, if you don’t see some joke mit nicks you ves bretty thick-headed,”” answered the customer, in an angry tone of voice. You vas foolish or drunk—maybe sun- stroked,” sarcastically.replied the barber. “Maype I vas a drunkard loafer,” yelled the customer, “but I find me a barber who vasn’t so thick-headed he sees no joke mit nicks,’ and with that parting shot he went Cut of the shop, slamming the door after im. ext!’ called out the barber, and as the new victim took his seat in the chair he said: “Dot feller vat goes out vas a flam-flimmer or a crazy luniticks. The Stamp Drawer. From Hardware. I once talked with a man who had served a term in prison for embezzlement. He said that the first step in his downfall was the stamp drawer. The clerks in that store, as in many, if not in most stores, helped themselves to stamps from this drawer for their private letters, using the firm's stationery also. What more natural than that they should take a few more stamps if they were crdering some trifle by mail? Having made this start and see- ing no trcuble therefrom, how easy it was to take a larger amount when a more ex- pensive article was wanted! The step from the dollar's worth of stamps to the dollar itself was not a very long one, and then to larger amounts, followed at length by dis- covery and prison! This was the man's story, and it set me to thinking. ——_—_~-e._ Still Has the House. From Harlem Life. “How are you succeeding at keeping house in the country, Mr. Hill?” “First rate at that. But the neighbors have borrowed almost everything else.” CARLSBAD SPRUDEL SALT Is not a mere purgative; it is an alterative and a constitutional reme- dy. There is nothing “just as good” when you can obtain the genuine imported article. Do not be im- poe’ upon by unscrupulous dealers, e genuine must have the signature of “EISNER & MENDELSON CO., Sole Agents, New York,” on every bottle. RAILROADS. SOUTHERN RAILWAY. — (Piedmont Air Line.) Schedule in effect November 3, 1895. All trajus arrive and ieave at Pennsylvania © Passenger Station. ae, A.M.—Daily—Locil for Danville. ore | missis for Strasburg, daily, execpt Sunday, Gite ee, a ly for Nat Br (15 A.M.—Dally—The UNITED STATES FAST MAIL carries Pullman Buftet Sleepers New York aod Washington to Jacksouville, uniting at Char Pullman Sleeper for Augusta; also Full- Bc conne=t a nta owith = Pul Sleeper for Binuingham, Memphis and St. Louis. 4:01 P.M.—Local for ‘Strasburg, daily, eacept Sum —Daily—“Exposition Flyer,” Pullman Yorl and Washington to Atlanta, ey Coaches Ww Saag coe to Atlanta. 7 Dally Local, for Charlottearitla, e Onily—WASHINGTON AND SOUTH- WE N VESTIBULED LIMITED, Solid Train of Pullnan Vestibuled Sleepers, Dining Cars and Day Coaches, New York to Atlanta. Pullman Sleepers Xew York to Asheville and Hot Springs, N.C. New York to Memphis via Birmingham, New to New Orleans via Atlanta and Montgomery, end New York to Tampa yi Charlotte, Columbia and Jacksonville. Vestibuled Day Coach New York to Atlanta. “Dining Car trom “Greensboro” to Mout ‘LKAINS BETWEEN WASHINGTON AND ROUND HILL leave Washington 9:01 A.M. daily and 4:45 PM. daily, exccpt “Sunday, and 6:25 P.M. Sun- days uly, for Round Mill; 4:32 LAM. daltt, ‘except Sunday, for Leesburg, and 6:25 |. daily for Herndon. ‘Returning, arrive at Washington 8:26 A.M. und 3:00 P.M.’ daily from Round Hill, 7:06 A.M. daily, except Sanday, from Heradon, and 8:34 A.M. daily, eccept Sunday, from Leesburg. Through traias from the south arrive at Washing- ton AM. 11:45 A.M., 2:20 P.M. and 9:40 P.M. daily.” Manassas Division, 9:45 A.M. daily, chcept Sunday, and 8:40 A.31." daily frou Char lottesvitle. Tickets, Sleeping Car reservation and information furnished at offices, 511 an 1300 Pennsylvania ave nee, and at Veanspivania Kailroad Passenger Sta ion. Vestibuled 4351 intendent. ats jeneral Passenger Agent. ROWN, Gen. Agt. Pass. Dept. CHESAPEAKH AND OUIG RAILWAY Sebedul Trains leave Throvgh the grandest scenery in Ame handsomest ind most complete solid tr: est from Washington a DAIL Speetal""—“Solid Vestibuled, trie-lighted, Steaw-heated’ ‘Train, Pall, ug cats Washington to Cincinnati, Indianapolis + Louis daily.” Diaing Car from’ Weshin; Cincinnati, “8:00 a.m: Indianapoli Chicago, 5120 “p.m.j St. Louis, 9:19 p.m.3 Lexington, 11 Louisville, 11:50 aan. (via Cincinnati). The fomeus “F. F and Pullman Slee Louisville withou S For Old Point il Tine. —Express__ for 1 yt! Staunton and prine cipal Virginia’ points, daily;’ ter Richwond, daily, except Saudus. Pullman locations und t fices, 513 and 1421 Leu PM Charlottesville, V Gordonsville, nol8 PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD. Station corner of Gth and B streets. In cffect November 17, 1895. 10:30 A.M. PEN VANIA LIMIPiD.—Pullman Sleeping, Dining, Stuoking and Observation Cars Harrisburg to Chicago, Cincinnati, Indiauapolis, St. Louis, Cleveland and ‘Loledo. "Bullet Parlor Cas to Harrisburg. 10:50 A.M. FAST LINE.—Pullman Buffet Parlor Car to Harrisburg." Parlor and Dining Cars, Harristurg to Pittsburg. 8:40 P.M. CHICAGO AND ST. LOUIS EXPRESS.— Pullman Butler Parlor Car to Harrisburg. Sleep ing and Dining Cars, Harrisburg to St Cincinnatl, Louisville and Chicago. 20 TAL NESTERN EXVIESS.—Pullman Sleep. ing Ca: to Chicago and Harrisburg to Clevela _ Dining Car to Chicago. 7:10. PM. SOUTHWESTERN EXPRESS.—Pullman Sleeping and Dining Cars to St. Louis, and Sleep- ing Car Harrisburg to Cincinnati. 10:40 VM. PACIFIC EXPRESS.—Pullman Sleep ing Cur to Pittsturg. ) A.M. for Kane, Canandaigua, Rochester and lagara Falls daily, except Sunday. 10:20 A.M. for Elmira and Renovo, daily except 7 Sarday. For Williamsport daily, 3:40 P.M 7:10 P.M. for Willigmsport, Rochester, Buffalo and Niagara Falls daily, except Saturday, with SM ing (Car Washington to Suspension’ Bridge vfulo. 10:40 P.M. for Erie, Canandaigua, Rochester, Buf- falo and Niagara Falls daily, Sleeping Car Wash- ington to Elmira. New York and the Fast. For Philadelpt. MI. > daily, all Parlor Cars, with Dining Car from Baltimore: Regular at (Dining Car, , 9:00. 10:00 (ining Car), and 11:00 (Dining Car from Wil- mington) A.M., . B15, 4:20. 6:40, 10:00 and 11:85 P.M. On Sunday. (Wining Car), 7:20, 11:00 A.M. (Dining Car from Wilmington), 12:16. 8:15, 4:20, 6:40, 10:00 end 11:35 P.M. For Philadelphia ‘only, Fast Express, K dare. | Express, “12:15 week day PM. daily. For Boston, wnhout change, 7-50 A.M. week days, and 3:15 P.M. daily. For Baltimore, 6:25. 7 3, 11:00 and 1 215, 3:40, (4:00 Limited), 7:10, 10:00, 10:40, 9:05, 20:20, 11:00 1 215, 8:40 (4:00 Limited) 4:20," 540,” 6: 210, 10:00, 10:40 and For Pope's Creek Line, 7:20 A.M. and 4:36 PM. daily, except Sunday. For Annupolis, 7:20, 9:00 A.M., 12:15 and 4:20 9200 A. P.M. daily, ‘except Sunday, Sundays Express for Richmond, Jark- apd 4:20 PIM. Atlantic Coast Line. sonville and Tampa, A.M.. 8:46 P.M. dally. Richmgrd ani Atlanta, 8:40 P.M. datly. iticn- teond éniy, 10:57 A.M. ‘week da: Accommodation fer Quantico, 743 A.M. dally, and 25 PM. week days. 245. 10-57, 5st For Alexandria, 6:85, T:45, 8:40. 9. 20, 4:25. Ticket offices, corner 1 nd at ind G streets the station, 6th and B streets, where orders can be left for the checking of baggage to destination from hotels and residences. iS J. R. Woop, M. PREVOST, General Manager. General Passenger Agent. nols BALTIMORE AND OHIO RAILROAD. Schedule in effect November 4, 1895. Leave Washington from station corner or New Jersey avenus and C rt. For Chicago and Northwest, Vestibuled Limited trains 11:50 a.m., 8:20 p.m. For Cincinnati, St. Louis and Indianapolis, Vestt- bulked Limited 3:45 p.m., Express 12:01 night. For Pittsburg and Cleveland, Express duily 11:30 a.m. and 8:40 p.m. 4 For Lexington and Staunton, 11:30 a.m. For Winchester and way stations, *5:50_p.m. For Luray, Natural Bridge, Koanoke, Kuoxvill Chsttanooza; Memphis and New Orleaus, 11: p.m. daily; Sleeping Cars through. For Luray. 3:45 p.m. daily. For Beltimore, week days, 5:00. 6:35, 7:00, 37:10, _x8:00, " 8:30, 11:30 @.m.,” x12:10, " 212:30," 1: x 4:32, x5:05, 35:10, 45:30. b, x! 10, 8:30, x 0, 28:00, 3:25, 4 x5:05, 25:10, 6:20, y, 29:00, 10:00, x11: P.m.,” x12:01 ‘night. For Annapolis, 7:10 and 8:30 a.m., 12:15 and 4:28 p.m. Sundays, 8.30 a.m., 4:32 For Frederick, 19:00, *0:30, tm. am., 1:18, *4:30, p.m. For Hagerstown, ®11:30 a.m. and *5: For Bopd and way points, °9:40,, 110: ‘or Gaithersburg. and way point: m. go, 94:23, "46:85, 110-25, *11:30 p.m. For Washingtan Junction and way polnts, 10: 9:30 a.m., !1:15 p.m. Express trains, stopping rincipal stations only, *4:30. °5:30 pan. OYAL BLUE LINK Fok NEW YORK AND PHILADELPHIA, All trains fMuminated with pintsch light. For Philadelphia, New York, Boston and East, week dass (7:00, Dining’ Car), 8: a.m., Dining Car), 11:30 (12:30, Dining Car), (5:05 Dining Car,’ 8: Si T, open at 10:00 0’ i ing Car), (9:00 a.m., Dining Car Gar), 3:00 205, “I c Sleeping Car op: Buttet Parlor For Atlantic Ct p.m, Sundays, 4:55) a.m. *Except Sunday. Daily. press trains. Baggage called for and checked from hote’s an@ residences by Union Transfer Co. on orders left at ticket offices, 619 Pennsylvania avenue northwest, New York avenue and 15th street and at depot. R. B. CAMPBELL, CHAS. 0. SCULL, Gen, Manager. Gen. Pass, Agt. not ee — HOTELS. The Jefferson, Richmond, Va. This Magnificent Hotel IS NOW OPEN FOR THE RECEPTION OF GUESTS. LADIES’ CAFE GRILL ROOM, TURKISH, RUB: SIAN, ROMAN AND TUB BATHS. Ainslie & Webster, MANAGERS, 1n015-30t ATTORNEYS. CAMPBELL GARRINGTON, ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, beter Law building, 605 D st. n.w., Washing: .0. Residence, ‘No. 8 Mount Vernon Flats, #