Evening Star Newspaper, January 19, 1895, Page 14

HE HIRED GIRL Pauline Pry Takes Her Place, In- spired by Advanced Ideas. ————_>————_ SOME CHERISHED THEIRIES EXPLODED The Exacting Round of Household Duties Described. po ON THE GIRL’S SIDE Science Writ-en Exclusively for The Evening Star. ou KNOW THE Y w= of the house- keeper. The past week I've been learn- ing how the other half lives. I have taken the place of the hired girl. | Eset out briskiy to ‘do general house- work for a week. I worked five hours the first day, was \ sick abed the second day, spent the third day at the patent office looking for some automatic device for washing dishes, work- ed all day the fourth day and haven't dene anything since. As a means of physical culture for developing broken backs, bruises and nervous prostration housework makes bicycling seem silly, and as tending to profanity, golf is simply out of it alto- gether. Henceforth and forever my cook, your cook, everybody's cook shall be adorned with a halo in my sight. She shall walk before my averted gaze clad in a flaming robe of martyrdom, and whan somebody whispers that she is getting dinner and smiling, I shall drop on both knees and pray. Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, these men in the flery furpace, didn’t begin to go through what the hired girl does every time she rcasts a duck. This is no wild assertion of a pale-faced enthusiast trying to stand in with the laboring element be fcre an election. It's the measured uttery ance of the voice of science-ethe calm as- sertion of sociology that in the interests of domestic esonoimy has roasted a duck her- self. That's what I did first. Takes the Hired Girl's In taking a place to do general house- work I chose my own kitchen, thus to ex- perience not merely the bulk of work as- signed to the hired girl in households where one servant is expected to do everything, Place. from breaking up kindling wood to cooking six-course dinners, waiting on table ani answering front door bell, but thus also to experience the complex ‘cares that consume women who, besides being wife, mistress and mother, are their own hired girl. The situation wasn’t fixed quite fair, per- haps, inasmuch as the two youngsters of the family continued corraled under mam- my’s wing, and the cook remained on the ‘premises to fall back on in case of fire or a@ funeral. However, mammy was instruct- ed to be as idle, inefficient and generally in the way as the poor relations who frequent- THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, ‘JANUARY eo ver pee 49, 1895-TWENTY PAGES. other spoon grease over the roasting bird, never minding the boiling flicks of fat that fly out on your hands, arms and face. On the second round this process destroyed my belief in the depravity of the devil. Basting brimstone over spitting-hot’ sin- ners—my word for it, if Mr. Mephistopheles had not the endurance of a saint he would ages back have ceased to be at all. Naturally, when the head of the house arrived, it was regarded as a great joke that I was doing the work, and I was ex- pected to laugh “ha! ha!” while I went hobbling around on already tired feet, blowing cold breath on my blistered arms when nobody was looking. Oh, how I was beginning to choke on the rds I had often spoken to the hired girl: Surely, Mary, there is no reason why you should not look pleasant about your work. If everybody had life as casy* as you do, they might thank their star: So they might, on the principle that It’s a lucky eel that escapes skirning. Dinner over, there was nothing to be done but clear it away and wash tiie dishes—nothing but that. It has often seemed to be only decent and becoming civilized human beings that eating should be perfcrmed in_ private. That we should make a parade of eatir biting, chewing, swallowing many things in the most ostensible manner compatible with our means, thereby dirtying loads of dishes, it’s beastly—that’s ali; beastly. If you doubt me, wash dishes. Thrust yqur hands into the unknown depths of scummy, Srease-smelling, stomach-sickening water, stasp a meat-guntmed plate and mop it with a rag that is mushy with suds and scraps of everything, frcm soup to cheese and coffee grounds. Plunge nobly to the bottom of the pan for the small spoon you have heard scraping there and clutch—oh, soodress, that I should live to do and tell it--clutch a slippery, suds-mutilated oyster een two fingers, and between two oth- ers bring up a bit of onion, garnished with a leaf of celery and daub of mashed po- uices. The horrors that accumulate in shwater to fasten on a woman's flesh and make drink, delirium, seem sweet by contrast have taught me why dogs are to be preferred before men. They lick their dishes clean. Woman's Natural Work. ‘Two mortal hours was I washing up the dinner dishes, an experience that went some way to explain what had often be- ly hang on about a household under a pre- text of helping with the children, and Maury, the cook, was ordered to be no more Officious than a visiting mother-in-law. But despite my honest effort to make everybody free to merely. rejoice and be glad while IL was giving an imitation of Count Toilstoi in the kitchen, the not per- fectly silent resentment on the part of the cook that I should seek to enter her sphere taught me more clearly than ever before how little I am In possession of my home. “Don't look so glum, Mar’ I said while rolling up my sleeves to take hold of the duck. “Be blithe, sing and dance, to think 1 have left my high journalistic estate to do your work for a whole week. Y can fold your hands for seven long, loveiy days of elegant leisure. “And be buried on the eighth,” she snort- ed. Learns Something About Ducks. Later when I said I did wish she would let the dish pans be and go about her brsiness, she went so far as to snap, “I orly wish I could go about my business and you do the same.” Thus was it proclaimed I have no bust- Ress in my own kitchen. Nevertheless, I arrived after all the work was done up in the afternoon, just as a new girl ivariably does. Everything was oured in expectation of my arrival, to set a high standard of excellence for me to follow. A clean fire glowed in the range, and there was nothing for me to do but take hold of the duck—the cold, dead thing that it was. However, under directions of Mary, I picked out the pin feathers, and then was ordered to singe it. A paper was set blazirg in a range hole, and I ex- ected to hold the beast—bird, I mean-in the flame. Well, I'm no salamander. The head of the house ate unsinged duck that night and never seemed to know the dif- ference. ‘Then it was to be cleaned, and, my word for it, if you knew what a nasty, bleedy bird, full of gizzards, green, gruesome gail and such thirgs, roast duck is, you would never eat another, unless you're blind cr @ cannibal. Just az [ was in the melancholy mess of Peeling onions little Lord Fauntleroy wan- dered in and sald he wanted a drink. ‘Wait a minute, my son, until I have peeled these onions,” I sniffed, just as Bweet and patient as the dear, overworked jmother who dies and goes to glory in the last chapter of Sunday school books. “I want it now,” said Fauntleroy. “I can’t wait; I want it now; I want it.” “Be patient, my son, and you'll have a @rink just as soon as mamma gets her hands off these onions.”” “I want a drink now. “Look here, Fauntleroy, if you don’t keep atill till I get ready you won't get any @rink, and you'll go to bed without any supper.” “I don’t @rink. “I want one. “[ want—" and then Fauntleroy, having early in life demonstrated that he was ood for this sort of thing for at least an jour and then to howl till his desire was l&ccomplished, mamma dropped her onion Fens with a dull, sickening thud, turned want no supper; I want a er back to get the drink and wheeled lace about just in time to rescue Fauntle- roy from the carving knife. How the Fire is Tested. When th» deck was in the pan ready for the oven, the cook standing by asked psked: “Is your oven hot enough?” “How on earth should I know? I never roasted a duck before in my life. How can @ find out?” “Put your hend in. “Ye gods! I don't know what a duck can stand, but that heat would do me in a mninute.” Then the cook said to put In the bird and that if the flour in the pan browned the fire was just right. “And if It doesn’t brown?” I asked. fhen it isn't hot enough,” she answered, Intimating, in her tone, that any fool Dught to know that without asking, all of which impressed me as a comprehensive olume on cooking as it is cooked fa the @ajority of kitchens. T never read a cook book that prescribed the fire more exactly than “quick,” “mod- erate” or “slow,” and I never knew a cok who had any means of determining hew quick, moderate or slow a fire is oth- ww than to thrust in her hand, which regis. Fe nothing but the necessity she fs unde f getting threugh and leaves digestic ined by fll-cooked food, the only certain test of the fire that did the cooking. My last act as lady of the house having been to order a dinner consisting in the main of tinned stuff, to avoid making diffl- ult cooking for the new girl, I was able fo proceed with the dinner, and at the me time prepare Lord Fauntleroy’s sup- r, carry it up to the nursery, set the ble, carry in four hods of coal and empty he ash pans of two lairobes, not falling to te the duck every fifteen minutes in be- yen. Horrors of Dish Washing. Basting a duck means to crouch beside fee re range, open the oven door, and hile your eyebrows grow crisp, haul out duck pan with one hand and with the fore caused me to marvel how it Is the hired girl gets no time evenings to darn her stockings and sew the binding on the bottom of her dress. As I crept humbly back to the bosom of my family I also ecmprehended that the higher aims of wo- man are not more destructive of domestic harmony and family unity than is vashing dishes. I'd Leen working in weman's un- disputed sphere the whole evening, and my family had been left alone to the wiles of the tempter quite as hopelessly as !f I had been off making a stump speech or writing, editorials ly how a woman might be borne on the Waves of dish water plump into politics, and remembering from what she had emerged, really feel good and clean throw- ing mud in a lively campaign. I want you to know, too—I'm ‘going to tell you this in strict cenfidence—the loving mon who is always worried to death lest the least newspaper werk be too much for my frail- ty. maniike, accepted so unquestioningly that housework is natural and easy for a woman, when the dishes were done, he never dreamed of asking me if I was tired. ,The next morning I was to arise at 6 o'clock, and to show the hired girl how easily and happily I would accomplish feat of which she often makes a flulx teck one of those loud-voiced, bargain counter alarm clocks into my room, that there might be no mistake about the time. A Convenient Sore Throat. “Tick, tock, tick, tock; got to get up; got to get up,” that miserable cheap Invention shouted at me until I flopped out of bed, wrapped it tight in a towel and smothered it with a pillow. But it was not named Desdemona. I could not Kill it thus. All through the night, and likewise through the towel and pillow, the hideous “tick, tock” had me getting up every hour from 10 o'clock till 6. At 6 I was just about to turn out, when I swallowed—could it be? I swallowed aga Yes, for a fact, heaven be praised! 1 had a sore throat. Well, you know, that settled it. Of course I couldn’t think of getting up on a cold morning and starung tires with a sore It would never do to die, young and valuable as I am—never. When I had demonstrated how successfully a soro throat may be used in getting somebody else to do the work without in the least creating suspicion of one’s honesty of pur- pose, I could not understand, nor can I now, why hired girls do not contract chron- ic quinsy or diphtheria that will permit them to work just so many days as are absolutely essential to drawing their wages, By noon I bad s' lowed down the last trace of my sors throat, but it seemed only a wise precautionary measure to continue in bed until the dinner dishes were wash- ed. when I convalesced sufficiently to ariso end wash down a golden buck with a pint of Hofbrau. This was all I did wash, however, the chafing dish and accompanying utensils, cn my orders, being washed by the man who used them. Dish-Washing Devices. If this simple rule of washing his own dishes were sold with every chafing dish, the thousand or two automatic devices for washing dish2s row recorded in the patent office would speedily be increased and pos- sitly made practical. I spent the day following going over the dish-washing inventions in existence, all of which, so far as my inexperienced do- mestic eye can determine, look like any- thing from a storm on the Atlantic to a train of cars. Doubtless the inventor of each of these fearfully and wonderfully de- signed dish washers saw how they might be used to good purpose, but before I'd try one on the dog 1 would get the animal in- to the kitchen and try him on the dishes with his own original and simple method of cleaning them. ‘The fourth day the enthusiasm of a do- mestic reformer was still at such low ebb u slothful soul that I was unable to stir myself until after breakfast. ‘Then I sailed in. It was Saturday. I spake net a word, thought not a word about all the housework upstairs and down- stairs that the maid-of-all-work has to turn off in addition to the kitchen work. Su‘ficient unto me was the task of washing dishes, making bread and cake and cook- ing the meals. I had never made a loaf of bread in my life, and began with a cook book, the cook standing by to interpret. “Dissolve the yeast cake in a quarter of a cup of warm water and add to it a pint of warm water,” I read, and the cook, with the pernicious activity she had before dis- played, quickly handed me a quantity of water, saying: “Put in your yeast cake. This is the quarter of cup and pint of water.” Bloomers in the Kitchen. I dropped in the yeast cake. Then with higher education and higher aims sticking out of my two eyes, sald loftily to the cook: “Mary, this shows me just how you wantonly disregard strict orders in doting your work, thereby making the results forever uncertain. Now, the cook book distinctly says dissolve the yeast cake in a quarter of a cup of water and then add the pint. But you add the pint before you dissolve the yeast cake."” Why, it’s just the same,” sata Mary. “It may be,” I answered, “nevertheless, it is only by precisely doing as a superior intelligence directs that you can hope to succeed perfectl. This was before the day had taught me that there’s only one hope possible for the hired girl—to get through. How she gets through is speedily subordinated to the cverwhelming necessity of being done. The bread mixed, with set teeth I went at the dishes. I may as well tell you now that I washed dishes the rest of the day. ‘There were interruptions innumerable, but everything done used more dishes, and if providence had not mercifully ‘dfrected nervous prostration to come to my relief I'd be up to the ears in dish water yet. The bread needing to rise in a warm place, the temperature of the kitchen was raised to a degree for shandy goff and summer flannels, and from this heat, ever and anon, I was bound to plunge out into the cold ‘for more coal. Why hired girls do not all die young with quick consump- tion I am unable to tell. But when I had a few times spilled coal, stumbling over my petticoats stepping up steps, I grew able to relate the possibilities of dress re- form in real life. If ever, by force of cir- cumstances, I go into the kitchen again Ill go in bloomers. These introduced in the kitchen might greatly stem the tide of divorce and ex-wives who want to go on the stage and lead the amazons. To trip over one’s petticoats with either a hod of coal or a tray filled with dishes Is to con- vince a happy wife that marriage,is a failure and cause a good woman to feflect on the possibilities of tights. Only One Pair of Hands. You might not think it, but besides Moreover, I understood peitfect-"| tangling skirts there fs much about life im the kitchen to stir one’s histrionlc im- pulses. Baking bread, I found myself kick- ing the oven door together with a vim and airy grace that made the attainment of a dancing actress’ glory seem only a matter of further practice and plenty of lace ruf- fles. Just as things promised that, perhaps, with hard work, in another hour, I might be able to put away the breakfast dishes, I had to prepare lunch, and at the same time Lord Fauntleroy’s midday dinner. I could, but I will not go into the harrowing details of how, with but two hands and one head, I made chicken croquettes, broiled chops, stewed celery, au gratined macaroni, kneaded bread, carried coal, set table and washed dishes all at once, and then went on washing dishes, putting bread in pans, baking bread and preparing dinner. Only this, I must say, that as these divers, dia- bolical duties hurried me from one to the other, inch by inch, the beautiful fabric of my ideas about how a hired girl ought to do her work vanished into thin air, and I found myself driven by force of circum- stances to break every one of my original ten commandments about housekeeping. “Thou shalt not waste!” Fiddlesticks, everything that came from the lunch table, with one sweep I emptied into the stove, and not a wave of con- selence rolled across my troubled soul. Later, whereas I had early in the morning rebuked the cook for dusting off the coffze canister with a dish towel, severely inform- ing her that a duster is for dusting and a dish towel for drying dishes, in the press of business about noon I found myself wip- ing up tho floor with a dish towel and ready to kill anybody who might have suggested that I was either inconsistent or untidy about housework. No Longer a Reform At 4 o'clock there were apples to be pared for a dessert, and perhaps it was the tradition of temptation clinging to this fruit thet aided me. Anyhow, defiant as Eve, and just as eager for destruction, I ate an apple. From that my high resolve to do housework all day became a part of the general confusion surrounding me. The dinner was yet to be cooked, a cake yet to be baked, dishes, of course—dishes yet— to be washed, a floor yet to be scrubbed, range yet to be polished, two latrobes yet to be filled, Lord Fauntleroy's supper— well, the prospect was certainly enough to make one’s head swim, and the kitchen kot enough to kill; besides, there was the apple assaulting my weary body from within. But, whatever the cause, when the cook gathered up my remains from the floor I had her inter me in bed, where I have since thought thoughts about house- work. Beyond this I have no longer any ambition. If, In an unguarded moment of charitable impulse, I ever said I was going to reform housework, I tell you now, in cold blood, I lied. Since I know what housework really is I would as soon think of trying to reform love. But while in calm deliberation I have re- solved to let every housekeeper do her own reforming, if there be anywhere a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty of Hired Girls looking for a president, a willing, worthy woman for the office may be had in PAULINE PRY. ABOUT BURGLARS., STORIES Seme Plucky Women That Bravely Rose to an Emergency. From the Chicago Tribune. There are a lot of amateurs—tramps, pickpockets, sneak-thieves and such—who are driven by hard necessity to take up burglary as a side line in the winter, Burg- lars of this class are seldom as bold, and never as skillful as the regular practition- ers. It was probably one of these burglars who broke up the ladies’ card party on Lake avenue the other evening. He had very likely noted the announcement in the society columns that it was to be a card party at which only ladies would be pres- ent, and had presumed upon this fact in making his raid. To the feminine mind, generally, if there is anything among fierce wild animals more terrible than the mouse it is the burglar. The card party seems to have been an average assembly in this re- spect, for the ladies shrieked and stam- peded, and the visitor got away. It was fortunate for him that there was no one among them who had the coolness displayed by the woman, who, while ar- ranging her hair preparatory to going to bed, saw the reflection of a man in her mirror. He was hidden just where she had always heard of burglars hiding—under the bed. She calmly went on arranging her hair, and then, having laid all her valuables in her jewel box, walked over and put them on a shelf in the wardrobe, carelessly Jeaving the door ajar. She left the room for a moment and returned suddenly, just in time to see the thief step inside the wardrobe. Then, of course, she did the obvious thing. When the door was un- locked again he was hauled out by two big policemen, badly frightened and half-smoth- ered. Another case where a thief hid under the ved and came to grief happened on Ohio reet, during the world’s fair, when t town was full of the light-fingered gentr: He had been shadowing a wealthy dow: town business man for more than a week. His plan was to slip into the house in the evening by following the owner home, hide, and later in the night rob the place. He followed his intended victim several time as he confessed after his capture, but a! ways encountered a policeman somewhere neighborhood and was afraid to go farther. At last he succeeded in get- ting in, however, when the front door was left unlocked through the carelessness of a servant, and, making his way upstair: went into a room and hid under the be: This happened to belong to the two daug! ters of the household. The bed was low and the intruder passed uncom- fertable hours until about 10 o'clock, when the young ladies came upstairs. They had devoted themselves assiduously to athletic exercises while at school, and usually had a romp before retiring. On this occasion they got into an unusually lively pillow- fight. ‘The burglar became so absorbed in the issue of the combat that he made an involuntary movement to obtain a hetter view, and in so doing betrayed himself. “Maud, there’s somebody under this bed!”" cried one of the girls, but instead of run- ping away, as she would be supposed to do under the circumstances, she dropped on one knee, and, finding her suspicions con- firmed, seized him by one foot, while her sister, equally undaunted, took hold of the other, and they dragged him out into the middle of the floor, at the same time shout- ing in high soprano voices: “Burglar! “Papa! Papa came, and, after awhile, the police, and among them the burglar was captured. He is now at Jollet. ore FARMS FOR TRAMPS. Reform Project Proposed by New York City Charitable Socteties. From the New York Telegram. A bill is in preparation for introduction into the present legislature granting au- thority to any county in the state to ac- quire property for a farm to be used for the Wetention of homeless tramps, profes- sional mendicants and the vicious and shiftless poor of all degrees. It will pro- vide that such persons be there taught farming and industrial arts, that they be compelled to work, and that they be kept there—for years, if necessary—until such time as they develop a capacity and a real desire to labor for an honest living. This bill ts the result of a series of con- ferences on the part of sixteen or eighteen prominent charitable societies of New York, and it will be so framed as to make it practically obligatory upon this city to ac- quire such a farm. The special object which these societies hope to accomplish thereby is to clear the city as much as possible of many thousands of unworthy poor, {dle and vice-ridden professionals, who will not work and who only serve to divert from the great masses of worthy pocr a large proportion of the relief given with the best intent by the charitable resi- dents of the city. It is the culmination of a broad scheme of charity which has been decided upon | after years of experience in relieving the unfortunate and after many consultation The plan adopted seeks not so much to ri form the vicious beggar, though that is one of its aims, as to clear the way for a wiser and more efficient charity than this or any other large city has ever seen. ‘Already the plan Is in partial operation, having been quietly inaugurated a month or two ago, but in the opinion of the great majority of the societies uniting in it, the pest results cannot be attained until such @ measure as the bill provides becomes a law. THE GOOD uy COMPANY The ancient brass ‘itnocker on the Canny Scot’s doer seemed' to be polished more brightly than usuaf’the other afternoon, the door itself had; been rubbed with an oily cloth and the white stone step save evidence of a course of scrubbing brush and soap suds. Théré was an air of emi- nent respectability -about the old-time portal, and in harmony with its general appearance one naturally expected to seo coming out of the doorway a dignifled old gentleman with frilled shirt front, black stock and swallow-tailed broad cloth coat, snuff box in hand, The Writer Lad felt young and callow and somewhat out of touch with the surrounding at this reflec- tion, but conquering the feeling made bold to enter and passed into the back room, where the Goodly Company had already assembled. “Punctooality is man’s chief vair- tue,” said the Can- ny Scot, casting a sour look at the newcomer, “dinna ye ken that ye areq unco’ late?” The Writer Lad, who knowsthe Canny Scot and his ways, said nothing and took his place, while the latter continued his work at the toddy kettle. The Goodly Company looked on gravely ard silently, according to their wont, while the hot Scotch was being brewed. In their eyes this operation is an important, almost solemn occasion and is never interrupted. When the fragrant brew was finally dis- pensed, and even the Canny Scot was softened somewhat under the influence of the first glass he looked at one of the com- pany. “Did ye speak, neighbor?” he asked, sig- nificantly. The Man Addressed took the hint, and after waiting a moment for a pipe to catch the fire of a sputtering sul- phur match, commenced: oe 8 8 @ “I had a lively experience with a mail robber when I was on active duty in the secret service. There were complaints of numerous losses of registered packages on a certain mail route between a chriving mining camp and the railway station. The mail carrier was a splendid specimen of the western tough.He had been a bar keeper, @ ccw boy, and, before he secured his job under Uncle Sam, had been a bouncer’ in a dance hall. I spotted him as the thief es soon as I was detailed upon the case and reached the scene. I had not been at work upon his case very long before he got wind somehow that he was under suspicion, al- though he did not know who was after him. At the time I did not know that he was aware of the fact that he was being watched. “Just about the time I was getting ready to fix some evidence upon him thit would land him in the clutches of the iaw I re- ceived a telegram from the division super- intendent of the railway mail service, stat- ing that a registered package containing 3,500 would come through the mails the next day, being intended for the mines to pay off the men for the month. It was suggested that I should keep a watch on the registered bag while it was en route from the station to the mines and prevent any robbery of it. This order somewhat embarrassed me in my plans. It was neces- sery for me to conceal my identity a little lenger, and yet I could not do that and keep a close watch on the mail bag all the way; the fellow would ,be sure to suspect me “I went over to the station, however, that night and the next, saw’ the fellow load up his sacks, including the registered bag, in a ight wagon and start for the mines. 1 followed him closely, driving a closed-top buggy. I kept within sight of his rig all the time and had my eye on his every riovement. About three miles out he whipped up his horse, evidently trying to drop me behind. I had a good goer, how- ever, and kept close at his heels. I did not want him to get a chance to put his hand into that mail bag, for I felt sure that if he got such a large sum of/money he would take to the woods without delay. While he was about 100 yards ahead of me we came to a bend tn the read. Ho disappear- ed around the curvé and I whipped up my horse. I dashed around the bend and came upen his wagon standing in the road. % “The man himself was gone. So was the registered bag. He had taken to the woods. I could see where he had drag- ged the bag over the leaves, and jumping from ‘the buggy I dived into the brush after him. A few feet further on I came across the empty mail bag, cut and rifled of its con- tents. I was looking around for traces of the route taken by the fugitive, when there was the report cf a gun, and a ball kicked up the dust a few inches beyond my feet. I drew my gun and fired three shots into the brush in the direction from whence the first shot came and was rewarded by hearing a howl of anguish. Cautiously proceeding, I came upon my man lying on the ground shot through the arm and thigh. I could not carry him, and he could not walk, so I left him there, taking the package of money with me, and went back to the main road. There I found three men look- ing at the two deserted teams standing in the road and wondering what was the matter. They went into the brush and brought out the wounded mail robber. We leaded him into his wagon and carted him to town. He was subsequently tried nd convicted, and served his term in the penitentiary.’ ee © «16 At this point the Writer Lad smoth- ered a yawn. It was an unfortunate oc currence,for the Can- Scot saw ii ‘Hoot, Lad,” he ex- claimed in a tone of indignation, while his honest features were puckered into a sour lcck of disapproval, “‘gin ye dinna laik our cracks ye needna stay. Ilka mon to his ain fancy, whilk is equeevolent to say- ing that nothing holds ye here. ’Gin ye dinna pay mair re- spect to your elders ye’d better gang your ain gait.” Very much abashed at this withering re- puke, which was accentuated by the ac- quiescent nods of the Goodly Company, the Writer Lad made haste to deny any inten- tional disrespect to his elders. He had listened attentively and respectfully to the story just told, but was free to admit that he had been besieged by a temptation to yawn, and ventured to hint that perhaps the story itself may have been lacking in points of absorbing interest enough to maintain one’s undivided attention. This bold intimation seemed to meet with ap- proval from some, judging from sundry nods and winks that passed around the company. J “My certes, the lad {8 not far wrong,” said the Canny Scot, grimly. “’Gin I put a wee drap mair of strength into the brew it may have a steemulating effect upon the story tellers’ This unusual and unexpect- ed proposal upon the part of the Canny Scot had a happy effect. It withdrew at- tention from the presumption of the Writer Lad in criticising his‘elders, and in the gen- eral interest attending the making of the re-enforced brew all’ was forgotten. When the hot Scotch was passed around and tasted the next _man in turn was called upon, and the efficacy of the Canny Scot's suggestion tested. . rd “T can tell you a story which has never been made public before, and it is a very romantic one. I was sent down into the moonshine districts of one of the southern states to work up what appeared to be a systematic robbing of the mails. In that district the mail was Carried on a circuit, taking in several little mountain post offices and cross-roads hamlets. The mail was transported on horseback by three different men on the route, and after experimenting with a numbér of decoy letters I conclud- ed that the stealing was being done hy one of these carriers. “Tt was difficult to work down there, and I had to pass as a peddler, being careful to conceal my connection with the govern- ment. An agent of the government, no matter in what capacity he comes, ts look- ed upon as an enemy down there, and his Ife is not a happy one while he sojourneth in those parts. Well, I narrowed suspicion down to one man, and finally caught him with a purloined letter in his pocket. I had the United States deputy marshal make the arrest, and the man was hustled out of the neighborhood before his ‘riends knew what was going on. He was a fine- looking, stalwart young mountaineer, with good face. He seemed to take his mis- fortune very much to heart, although he did not show the white feather; neither did he exhibit any braggadocio, like some of those fellows do when they are in the toils. I really felt sorry for this chap, as he did not seem to be a bad sort of fellow, after all. He was duly convicted, however, and carried off to jail. “About a month af- ter his incarceration the romantic side of the case turned up. Early one morning, when the night watchman at one of the doors of the Post Office Department building in Washing- ton went out on the steps after daylight, to take a look at the weather, he saw a woman asleep on the stone steps. She ap- peared to be from the country, was poorly dressed, travel stgined, and had a small bundle beside her, wrapped up in un old piece of bed ticking. She was a young ‘woman, and had rather a pretty face. The watchman awoke her and asked her what she wanted. She told him she wanted to see the Postmaster General; that she had come 500 miles to see him, most of the way cn foot, and that she had just arrived in tewn the night before. Some one had di- rected her to the Post Office Department, and she had spent the remainder of the night on the steps. "The watchman was a kind-hearted old man, and he took the poor creature home with him, gave her some breakfast, and about 10 o’clock, after having heard her story, brought her to the Postmaster Gen- eral, bundle, dirt and all. She told that avgust official her story. She was the sweetheart of-the mountaineer I had caught and she came to ask the Postmaster Gen- eral to pardon him. She brought a peti- tion, which must have been signed by half the county, and included a statement that the young fellow had not profited himself by his peculations, but had sent the money which he took to a younger brother, who was trying to get an education at tlie State Agricultural College. Of course, the broth- er was innocent of the mail carrier’s mis- doir gs. “The Postmaster General promised to bring the case to the President's attention, told the young girl to go home, and got her a pass on the railroad to return. He fulfilled his promise, and the boy was par- doned within a week. About a month after that the Postmaster General received a letter one day. It contained a rude tin- type picture of a stalwart mountaineer standing beside a young girl, the latter decked out in what seemed to be wedding finery. The Postmaster General was very prcud of that picture, and he wrote the young couple a letter full of fatherly ad- vice.” — PACIFIC AGAINST / TLANTIC. Western Fishing Companies Compet- ing Successfully in Eastern Markets. From the Boston Herald. The prediction made at the time of the acquisition of Alaska by the United States that her halibut fisheries would in time compete with those of the North Atlantic seemg about to be verified. .Four years ago companies engaged in halibut fishing at Seattle conceived the idea that their pro- duct could be sold in Ecston at a fair profit, and sent large shipments to this city up to November last. It proved to be a financial failure, however, and was abandoned. In November last four companies at Van- couver began to ship large quantities of halibut to Boston, and their product was handled entirely by the New England Hal- ibut Company and the Atlantic Halibut Company for New England. These ship- ments are made over the Canadian Paciiic railroad, and the car load of halibut is at- tached to the passenger train, which makes the trip in about seven days. When the fish reach Boston the two companies dis- ed of it te the dealers all over New Eng- nd. The fish of Vancouver compares in flavor to the North Atlantic halibut, and sells for the same to the consumer, but the dealer has the benefit of a cent and a half differ- ence in cost, the eastern halibut selling at 81-2 cents per hundreds, while the Van- couver halibut sells at 7 cents. There has been about 200,000 pounds of this fish shipped from the west this week. The price of western halibut is so low that it is impossible for the eastern fishing ves- sels to do any business, as they are com- pelled to run at a Icss. After March these skipments will cease, as it will be impossible to handle the pro- duct on account of the risk that is attach- ed to perishable goods. The goods will spcil before reaching their destination un- less repacked with ice along the road, and that would not be profitable. This is the first season that these com- panies have shipped their product to Bos- ton. Their object is to drive out the hal- ibut business in <he east and to unload their product in Boston. These western companies can make a fishing trip in about ten Gays, where it takes our vessels about four weeks to make the trip. ——— -+0< HER MAJESTY’S MAIL. The Ocean Freight Charges Upon It Were Only a Halfpenny. From the New York Sun. Glasgow has gained the distinction of having sent to New York the smallest mail ever brought here by a large liner. Early in Nevember a fast mail steamer, which touches at Glasgow to pick up her maj- esty’s mails, was lying at her dock await- ing the arrival of the postal officer. The official finally arrived, with the usual bulky mail bag, in a cart. The bag was locked, wound around with twine, bearing the of- ficial sealing wax stamp, and all done up in the regulation way. Attached to it was the usual tag telling the number of letters and papers in the mail. When the steam- boat people consulted the tag they were completely prostrated. Here is how it read: Her Majesty’s Mails, Glasgow to New York. Number of letters... One Number of newspapers None With great solemnity the local post of- fice representative tendered the steamer people the sum of 1 halfpenny for freight, and demanded and received a receiyt for the same. Then the big liner, bearing her majesty’s mails, or mail, steamed out of the harbor, and the dignified postal official mounted his cart and drove back to the post office. aaa TIPS FROM TH EARS, A Young Lady of Observation Says There is Much Character in Them. From the New York Sun. “I don’t know whether there is any such science as aurology,” said a young lady of observation, “but I find it a very safe and useful thing to take note of my friends’ ears. I haven’t yet got so far in my studies as to formulate a fixed set of rules for the reading of character by the size, shape and convolutions of these funny little head- handles of ours; in fact, my studies have been directed to one point—the top or apex of the ear. There's a whole world of tell-tale indications there, and it would be a good thing if young girls were to ferm the habit of casting a glance at that part of the anatomy of their callers and admirers, and make a mental note for their own guidance by what they see there. “If the top of the ear lies close to the head and the ridge is straight or only gently rounded the young man that owns fhat kind of ear may be counted on as being eminently proper and as harmless as a lamb. But if the top starts away from the head at a well-defined angle and runs up to a point before turning down to be- come the back ridge of the ear—well, that young man had better be kept at a good safe distance. That’s the faun ear, the satyr ear, and when those wise old Greeks and Romans gave to the capering compan- fons of the nymphs of the woods goat legs and goat ears they knew what they were about. Men haven't changed one whit, either, and that point to the ear is just as full of character and warning today as‘it was when Bacchus was doing business at the old sign of “The Rollicking Rams.’” A Culpable Omission. From Truth. - “Gwacious, Wobert, why was—aw—Willy Saphead expelled from the-aw--club, dont- cheknow?” “Because he—aw—nevah had—aw—appen- dicitis, dontchesee?” FOR INDIGESTION A NESS. Use Horsford’s Acid Phosphate. Dr. W. 0. HOYT, Rome, Ga., says; ‘I have ble ‘and useful remedy in ny cases of indigestion, end also in nerrous trcubles attended with sleeplessness and a fecling of exhaustion.” ‘D NERVOUS- Highest of all in Leavening Power.—Latest U.S. Gov't Report oyall vas ABSOLUTELY PURE. Baking Powder A TALE FROM TEXAS How a Deputy Sheriff Was Handcuffed to a Wire Fenoe. A New Offctal’s Experience With a Supposed Horse Thief—Confidence That Was Badly Misplaced. Texas Correspondence of the Globe-Demorrat. A few vears ago one of the leading citi- zens of Buster City, the county seat of Buster county, Texas, got on a big drunk, began to shoot up things and raise Oli Nick generally. Even in those days this sort of thing had gone out of fashion, and the county sheriff attempted to arrest the disturber. Result: The sheriff killed the leading citizen, and the leading citizen killed the sheriff, causing a vacancy in the sheriff's office. This brought along a new sheriff and a new deputy sheriff. The deputy was a good man and a brave man. He knew how to use a gun, and had the melt to de so if necessary. He had the reputation of being a man with whom it The Drop on Him. was far better to use diplomacy than force. With all these qualities he had had no of- ficial experience, but of this he gained a great deal the first time he ever made an arrest. It happened this way: Some miles from Buster City is a little collection of houses and stores known as Fishhook. A young man had come through there riding a horse of such good quality ag to attract universal attention. He was anxious to sell the horse, and, moreover, was willing to sell at a price far below its real value. It was beyond any one’s com- prehension why the man wanted to sell at such a price, unless he had stolen the horse. Hence, the citizens of Fishhook ral- lied together and took him in charge as a horse thief, put him under guard, and sent word down to Buster City by the boy who carried the daily mail for some one from the sheriff's office to come up, get the prisoner and take him to the county jail. In response to this message the new depu- ty rode over. He had a new horse, a new saddle that squeaked as he rode along, and a new six-shooter—45-caliber, with carved ivory handle—slung rakishly over his right hip. He carried also a grim pair of hand- cuffs that were not new, but serviceable. The Sheriff Was Firm. ‘When he reached his destination he found the man he was after sitting in a chair in cone of the stores, with a circle of stern, Winchester-bearing Fishhookers sitting all around him, The man had on good clothes, and did not look at all like a horse thief would be supposed to look. The deputy told him he would be obliged to come along, and to put his hands so he could put the handcuffs. on. The man turned pale when he heard this, and es- pecially when he saw the cruel irons. Said he: “J’m a stranger -here, charged with be- ing a criminal. I am fnnocent and hence more than willing to go with you, as my innocence can readily be proven. I profess | to be a gentleman, and would like to be treated as one. Put me on the slowest old horse you can find, have me ride in front all the way. You are armed, I am unarm- ed, hence I couldn't escape if I wanted to. For God’s sake, though, don’t disgrace me by taking me through the country with those things on me!” ‘The man’s looks, his earnestness and his horror of the handcuffs impressed the deputy, and he felt very much like relent- ing, but he didn’t. It was his first arrest, and it behooved him to be careful. Duty was duty and it wouldn't do to take chances. So he snapped the handcuffs on the man’s wrists apd led him out. Both mounted their horses, the prisoner with some considerable difficulty, bound as he was, and the deputy tied one chd of a rope to the bits of his own horse and the other end to the bits of the horse supposed to have been stolen. Together they rode away, the prisoner riding on the right. If the deputy had known his business better he would not have allowed the prisoner to ride on that side, next to the new six- shooter. He don’t allow prisoners to ride that way now. Fastened to the Wire Fence. The road was long, uninteresting and very sandy. Their progress was necessar- fly slow and they went along for some time in silenze side by side. Now, the dep- uty was a sociable, kindly man, who loved to talk ard be talked to, and he stood it as long as he could, but finally opened up a conversation and his companion respond- ed. The prisoner turned out to be a mar- vel. He could talk about anything and talk knowingly. He told stories and expe- riences, novel and interesting. Sc they rode on together, meeting a few pecple, who looked at them curiously, until finally they entered a long straight stretch of road between two high barbed wire fences. Open fields were on either side, and not a house or a human being in sight. Over to the left, low in the air, a few buz- zards were circling lazily. “I wonder what those buzzards are after,” casually remarked the prisoner, nodding his head in that direction, and the deputy looked over at them. This was the climax of the deputy’s errors. For while he looked away, quicker than you could say “scat,” easily and gently the prisoner leaned over and with his bound hands snaked the. beautiful, new ivory- handled six-shooter from its holster, and when the deputy looked around he looked right equare into its muzzle and the coun- tenance of his former prisoner behind it looked like trouble. He was caught. The conditions were reversed, and he was too shocked and surprised to say a word. “Get down off that hors These words rang out quick and sharp. The deputy was a brave man, but he was sensible and not foolhardy. He got down. “Walk out there in the road 10 feet, turn round and stand still.” The deputy walked 10 feet as near as he could estimate, and, turning around, stood at attention like a well-drillcd soldier. While he was doing this the man dis- mounted. “Throw the key to these things over here to me.” Really the deputy ought not to have brought that key «long, but he had it and he threw it over. It fell in the dust at the man’s feet. The man kneeled down, laid the gun just in front of him, picked up the key, and, using his teeth, unlocked the hardcuffs. They dropped to the ground and he was free. The deputy watched him in a dazed kind of way, trying vainly to think of something to say or do. He wesn't given time. “Go over to that fence on your right!” Over the deputy marched. “Put one hand over that second strand of wire as far as your wrist and the other under it.” The deputy obeyed. Some Parting Words. ‘Then the man walked up with the pistol in one hand, and with the other he snapped the handcuffs on the deputy’s wrists and the inclosed strand of wire. The deputy was sealed to that wire fence as tight as if he had been frozen there. Meanwhile the horses were quietly graz- ing along the roadside. The free man dis- engaged them from each other, and, mount- Fastened to the Wire Fenee. ing his own, rode up to the deputy, shook the key at him and sald: “Vuhen you arrest a man again treat him as a gentleman. I'll keep this key as a memento and wear it as a watch charm. Adios and au revoir.” Of he cantered down the road. Two hours after old man Peabod: riding along on his saddle mare Sally. Ho noticed a loose horse grazing down the road and a man near by standing close up against the fence. The man at once be- gan to “holler” to him. He noticed the man didn't wave his hands, so he rode down and investigated. "The old man had a pocket knife with a file blade and, with some loss of sweat, re- leased the deputy from the wire. But he could do nothing with the handcuffs. body could but a blacksmith. The deput horse was captured, the deputy mounted, and together they rode to Buster City. The ‘appearance of the deputy, handcuffe he was, created no end of excitement and inquiry. That night one of the biggest posses in the history of Buster county struck out, but it found no trace of the man who was wanted. To this day if you should tell the deputy of a man in South Africa wear- ing a key as a watch charm the deputy would go right over there after him. came IN VELO. From Life, OLUPTAS., \